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Speaker 1: I'm literally gonna walk you guys through something going on

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Speaker 1: in my life that no one knows about except for

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Speaker 1: Tyler and Amber and Chris my tour manager. Okay, and

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Speaker 1: now you and simultaneously everyone else on the podcast and

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Speaker 1: Granger Smith Podcast episode ninety one, ninety are we started?

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Speaker 1: We're going? We're going. So I'm gonna ask the first question?

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Speaker 1: Is that cool? We have to at least to knowledge

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Speaker 1: of this play? Why is there no blue board back here? Granger?

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Speaker 1: That's true? Why is there no blue board? You want

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Speaker 1: to tell everybody? I'll tell it. I'll tell everybody. We

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Speaker 1: are in the new spot. This is episode ninety one,

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Speaker 1: but it's a the inaugural episode of the new We're

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Speaker 1: in the new podcast room. It has the we have

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Speaker 1: the reclaimed wood behind us for those of you that

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Speaker 1: are watching on YouTube, but it's a different We don't

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Speaker 1: have the blue board. That's right. People have commented about

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Speaker 1: the blue board. Does anybody else just watch the blue board?

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Speaker 1: I should paint. I should paint right there. So Bernie

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Speaker 1: Calcoate guest today. Thanks for having me back, one of

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Speaker 1: the one of the all time favorites. People love you man.

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Speaker 1: When you're here very difficult to follow. You and Amber.

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Speaker 1: Come on, y'all are just amazing together, and you have

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Speaker 1: this EE nation following you, guys and fans of y'all

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Speaker 1: for a reason. So it's been awesome to listen to

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Speaker 1: you all the last couple of weeks. I'm always surprised

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Speaker 1: that you actually listen when you're not on the episode,

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Speaker 1: that you still listen to the episode. Yes, I'm on it.

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Speaker 1: I don't listen no way, man. I feel you on that,

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Speaker 1: but it's hard for me to listen to myself. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love you, know, Pastor, Chad and Amber and Tyler Parker.

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Speaker 1: I love hearing you guys chop it up well. People

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Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at Gmail their questions and they'll

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Speaker 1: they mention you a lot like, Hey, Granger and hopefully Bernie,

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Speaker 1: he'll say things like that, we answer questions on this

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Speaker 1: podcast for those that are new. Any anything under the sun,

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Speaker 1: could be any kind of question, and we'll talk it

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Speaker 1: through as if we're sitting at a campfire together, Me

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Speaker 1: Burns and the person asking the question, they say, can

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Speaker 1: I run something by you guys, and we'll just kind

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Speaker 1: of walk through it. No notes, we don't have anything

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Speaker 1: on this table, no notes or or I haven't really

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Speaker 1: read these questions to figure out what I'm going to say,

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Speaker 1: and I like it that way. Yeah, we could just

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Speaker 1: go off the cuff, so I have some ready for

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Speaker 1: you today. Burns, all right, let's do it. But I

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Speaker 1: want to start with my own. Okay, I got something. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I got something for you. Man, this is good. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is so guys. I've known Bernie for twenty one

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Speaker 1: years and he's always been the guy for me. And

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Speaker 1: the reason he's on this podcast is so that he

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Speaker 1: could also be the guy for you. But he's been

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Speaker 1: the guy for me that if I if I'm struggling

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Speaker 1: with something it could be good or bad. We could

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Speaker 1: we could maybe have not talked for a month, and

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Speaker 1: I'll call him like, man, I got to talk to

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Speaker 1: you about something, and he always will give me the

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Speaker 1: sound advice that I need. He doesn't necessarily take my side.

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Speaker 1: He'll just give me the advice I need to hear.

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Speaker 1: And that's what I love about him, and that's why

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Speaker 1: he's such a great guest on this podcast. And so

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm literally going to walk you guys through

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Speaker 1: something going on in my life that no one knows

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Speaker 1: about except for Tyler and Amber and Chris, my tor manager,

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Speaker 1: and now you and simultaneously everyone else on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: So here's the deal. Okay, this podcast is coming out Monday. Ye,

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Speaker 1: so right now as we're as we're recording it, it's

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Speaker 1: the previous week where before you're hearing it obviously. So

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Speaker 1: on this coming Saturday, we're gonna be in Algona, Iowa.

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Speaker 1: And this has been something that is there's been an

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Speaker 1: issue without going to Iowa that's been boiling over for

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Speaker 1: the past couple of weeks. Okay, Chris, this is a

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Speaker 1: this is a it's called Freedom Fest. It's a festival,

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Speaker 1: evidently a big festival in Algona, Iowa, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of bikers go to this. It's kind of known to

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Speaker 1: be a biker rally type festival. Okay, Freedom Fest. That

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Speaker 1: to me that it's on July third, Okay, right, fourth July,

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Speaker 1: it makes perfect sense. Yeah. So Chris, my tour manager,

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Speaker 1: advances these shows, and he usually advances about two weeks out.

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Speaker 1: That means he gets the final details laid out for

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Speaker 1: where are we going to park. I'm going to confirm

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Speaker 1: our start time. I'm going to confirm that you got

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Speaker 1: all the information I've sent you last month, as far

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Speaker 1: as how many people we have, how many meals we need,

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Speaker 1: what time we need lunch, how long you know are

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Speaker 1: our set's going to be. So during that advance of

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Speaker 1: this particular show, something happened that hadn't happened in as

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Speaker 1: long as I've been touring. Okay, the guy comes back

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Speaker 1: to Chris and he says, I just want to I

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Speaker 1: want to go over this cool down with you and

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Speaker 1: let you know that we will definitely be squeeging the

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Speaker 1: stage after the cool down. Chris is like, okay, tell

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Speaker 1: me more about this. I'm pulling up the exact email second.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to paraphrase it, says. He says, the

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Speaker 1: cool down is a big part of the rally. It

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Speaker 1: happens nightly. It's essentially a wet T shirt contest parentheses.

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Speaker 1: Most choose not to wear anything at all. It happens

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Speaker 1: on the main stage. The contestants are blocked from accessing

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Speaker 1: any parts of backstage, and this they will enter and

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Speaker 1: exit from the stairs. And then he goes on just

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Speaker 1: to say, don't worry, we're gonna squege you the stage.

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Speaker 1: It's going to be perfectly fine. But it's such a

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Speaker 1: big part of the rally. I want to let you

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Speaker 1: know what's going on. So I replied to Chris and

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Speaker 1: I said, nix it. That's all I said. Let's nix it.

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Speaker 1: I said, you felt convicted enough to screenshot this, So

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Speaker 1: tell them, tell them not to do it. And so

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Speaker 1: it is a It caused a big problem. They're like, no,

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Speaker 1: we don't, we don't nix it. This is a big

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Speaker 1: part of our rally. This is this is what we do.

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Speaker 1: These girls get up and they you know, they they

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Speaker 1: get water host on the front of the stage and

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Speaker 1: they dance around and they get judged by the audience.

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Speaker 1: So in my mind, I'm thinking, this is Iowa Yee

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Speaker 1: nation like these are. This is gonna be farmer families.

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Speaker 1: There's gonna be old couples, there's gonna be kids. There's

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Speaker 1: gonna be people that you know, with very conservative values

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Speaker 1: that trust me, and they trust that they're gonna that

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lead them astray at a show. No

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Speaker 1: matter what their thoughts are, I'm gonna stick with let's

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Speaker 1: make this family friendly. So this goes This goes into

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Speaker 1: like book an agency world, This goes into lawyer talk

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Speaker 1: and they're going back and forth, and I just told Chris, like, well,

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Speaker 1: I guess I guess we're going to cancel. If it

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Speaker 1: comes down to it, I'll just cancel, which really hurts me.

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Speaker 1: These kind of festivals really pay the bills through all

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Speaker 1: the club dates and everything else. And so I'm preparing

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Speaker 1: myself that, yeah, we'll just we'll have to cancel. We'll

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Speaker 1: have to figure out financially how to get everybody paid regardless,

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Speaker 1: but we just can't have it. And they're adamant, and

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Speaker 1: so it came all the way. This negotiation thing went

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Speaker 1: on and on. They said, well, can we build a

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Speaker 1: stage twenty feet away? And I said, my stipulations are this.

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Speaker 1: Either it happens before our buses arrive, which is going

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Speaker 1: to be like eight am, or after our buses leave,

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Speaker 1: which is like two am, or completely out of sight

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Speaker 1: away from my stage. And they said no. They said,

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Speaker 1: how about we build a stage twenty five feet away?

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Speaker 1: I said no, I said, how about we cover all

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Speaker 1: of your gear? I said, no, that doesn't change anything.

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to protect my image here. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to protect the fans that'll be on the front literally

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Speaker 1: the front road. Yeah, can you imagine if you walked

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Speaker 1: into that, you're just wanting to see a show, you

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Speaker 1: didn't expect that it's a fully nude with my kids. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so okay, I could tell you where we ended up,

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Speaker 1: or do you want to comment now? Okay, you could

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Speaker 1: jump in now if you want. I think I would

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Speaker 1: rather hear where it ended up. Sounds like there's a

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Speaker 1: lot on the line. Keep in mind, Lincoln is coming

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Speaker 1: with me. This has been planned from day one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's riding with me the all weekend. Okay. So so

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Speaker 1: they come back and they said, my book and agent

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Speaker 1: said it looks like we'll probably cancel. And I said,

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Speaker 1: I just want to hear it from you, Braden, he's

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Speaker 1: one booking agent. He's a great guy. I said, I

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Speaker 1: want to hear it from you. They're choosing the girls

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Speaker 1: over me, not necessarily me personally, but the headliner of

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Speaker 1: the the headlining band. They're choosing the girls over the

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Speaker 1: headlining band, taking my ego out of it. And he said,

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Speaker 1: let me let me just get that out of their

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Speaker 1: mouth because I just wanted to. I'm curious. So they

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Speaker 1: come back and the final thing they said was they said,

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Speaker 1: well Granger will Granger take ten thousand dollars less of

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Speaker 1: his pay and we won't do it at all. And

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Speaker 1: so I said, yeah, I said true, if that's what,

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Speaker 1: If this is a money thing, if this is that's

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Speaker 1: what it's about, then yeah, well you could cut ten

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars. There's a lot, Yeah, there's a lot money. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I said, sure, I'm not going to fight any

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Speaker 1: more than that. Yeah, if that's what it's about. So

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Speaker 1: that they said this is the first time in thirty

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Speaker 1: six years they will not do the cool down at

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Speaker 1: Freedom Test and I'll go to Iowa. Amen. So let

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Speaker 1: me ask you, how do you feel about that decision? Well,

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Speaker 1: how do you feel about your I struggle with it,

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Speaker 1: and once again that you know, straight up on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: This is like a phone conversation between me and you,

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Speaker 1: But straight up I struggled with it, and I you know,

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Speaker 1: first I felt anger. First, I felt like, well, I'm

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Speaker 1: just going to go on that stage. I'm just going

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Speaker 1: to tell everyone in the crowd exactly what happened that

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Speaker 1: they literally stole ten thousand dollars from my touring company,

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Speaker 1: ban crew management, everyone that's involved in that that gets

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Speaker 1: paid from that kind of thing. And and Chris was like, man,

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Speaker 1: you can't do that. There's like a safety issue involved,

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Speaker 1: Like what do people throw things at you? Like what

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Speaker 1: if there's bikers that come just to see that and

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Speaker 1: they find out you're the catalyst of why they don't

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Speaker 1: see it, they can get mad. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I should be so blessed to be persecuted in that way, right,

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Speaker 1: But there's a fine line, sure, like you don't want

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Speaker 1: to be stupid. Yeah, So I haven't totally you know,

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Speaker 1: here we sit doing this podcast, what four days away

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Speaker 1: from this happening, So I don't know. I do know.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get off the bus and I want

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Speaker 1: to shake that guy's hand and look him, look him

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Speaker 1: in the eye, not to not to be mean, but

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Speaker 1: I just want to. At first, I just want to

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Speaker 1: say I'm glad we came to an agreement. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to apologize. I can't. I'm so sorry to put

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Speaker 1: you through this kind of trouble. I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: say that, but I do want to say, you know,

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Speaker 1: thank you for being patient and coming to this agreement

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Speaker 1: with us. And then I want to have Lincoln with

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Speaker 1: me so he could see kind of part of the motivation.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, what's that I think? No, I think that

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Speaker 1: this is part of the reason I think there's so

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Speaker 1: many people that follow you, follow this podcast are fans

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Speaker 1: of you, guys, is because you're one willing to talk

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Speaker 1: about things like this publicly and how you're walking through

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Speaker 1: these things. It keeps, uh, it keeps the perception of

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Speaker 1: you being just a real person dealing with you know,

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Speaker 1: real struggles and trying to live, you know, the way

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Speaker 1: that you feel convicted to live and stand true to

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Speaker 1: those truths. And I think that everybody out there is

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Speaker 1: kind of trying to do the same thing. Like, Man,

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Speaker 1: I believe this, and now all of a sudden, I

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Speaker 1: have this situation that is kind of I'm put into

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Speaker 1: this position where I have to just so earn what

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Speaker 1: what what path do I take? And how do I

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Speaker 1: stand behind what I believe but yet still be considerate

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Speaker 1: of you know a lot of people that rely on you.

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Speaker 1: And I think it want it needs to be acknowledged

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Speaker 1: that Granger and Amber have to make these decisions and

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Speaker 1: discernments on a very public stage most of the time.

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Speaker 1: Nobody's like I'm not you know, in that grade of

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Speaker 1: an arena to have to like and great of an

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Speaker 1: impact on people's lives, fans and a big crew and

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Speaker 1: band and everything. So I think that needs to be acknowledged,

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Speaker 1: just that you know, God has given you the strength

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Speaker 1: and the the grace to navigate this. He's given you

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Speaker 1: the tools as well. I think that there always is

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Speaker 1: the opportunity for grace to shine through, right and knowing you,

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, when we get five

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Speaker 1: years past this, you're going to want to look back

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Speaker 1: on it and say, Man, did I exhibit grace? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's great advice for me. Did did the people involved

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Speaker 1: feel like? Man? Because grace? Somebody put it this way,

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Speaker 1: it's unmerited favor. Yeah, it's favor. It's favor that they

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Speaker 1: did not merit. They didn't earn it. And so was

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Speaker 1: their grace extended and given and shown and displayed through

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Speaker 1: the way that you kind of navigated this. And and

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Speaker 1: sometimes if people are just cold and their hearts are

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Speaker 1: hard and they're very selfish and just all in themselves,

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Speaker 1: they're not going to grace is offensive to them. So

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Speaker 1: they're just not right. They're not going to understand it.

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Speaker 1: And it's not your place to make them understand. It's

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Speaker 1: your place to just display it and live it out

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Speaker 1: and I think the real and I'll sleep better at

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Speaker 1: night doing that too. That's right. When we do give

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Speaker 1: grace in that way, we feel peace and calm regardless

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Speaker 1: of how they react to it, regardless if they're offended

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Speaker 1: by the grace. We're gonna go to bed and layer

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Speaker 1: ahead on the pill and go I felt good about today. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I will be anxious to hear how this goes. But

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Speaker 1: I want to say, just just if we're you know,

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Speaker 1: if nobody's here and you're talking to me on the phone, dude,

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Speaker 1: I think you did the right thing you and who

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Speaker 1: knows what kind of conversations that this will you know, produce. Yes,

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Speaker 1: there's still gonna be a world that just wants to

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Speaker 1: go see girls get water sprayed on them and see

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Speaker 1: them naked, and they're still gonna be that's still going

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Speaker 1: to be in the world, like you not doing this

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Speaker 1: show or doing this show for less or whatever. It's

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Speaker 1: not going to take that way. But we have to

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Speaker 1: and I know you have to and feel a conviction

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Speaker 1: to be a positive and godly example to your fans

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Speaker 1: and leading them to that. I think you're absolutely right.

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Speaker 1: People could be just well, this is not ee Nation.

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Speaker 1: They would be real confused and you would probably get

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Speaker 1: a lot of emails like, hey, man, I brought my

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Speaker 1: family see you. Hey, I came to see you. I've

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Speaker 1: been listening to your podcast, right, Someone could have been

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Speaker 1: listening to the podcast and then that's their first show. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So let me say I have to insert here that

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Speaker 1: this is not a moral high ground battle for me.

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Speaker 1: I'm not any better than these people. So you know this,

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Speaker 1: but I'm kind of just saying it publicly on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel any better better than they are morally,

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Speaker 1: or I don't feel like I'm an inherently better person

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Speaker 1: on the inside, or I was born better, or I

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Speaker 1: was raised by better parents, or I have a better

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Speaker 1: circle of friends, and therefore I don't partake. I'm not

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Speaker 1: any of those things. What it truly comes down to

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Speaker 1: is I have an authority above me that's different than

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Speaker 1: they have, and I have a fear of that authority.

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Speaker 1: My fear of God and what he expects from me

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Speaker 1: is much greater than their perception of me. Or I'm

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Speaker 1: sure they think this guy's the biggest prude pansy. We've

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Speaker 1: dealt with bands for thirty six years, and no one,

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Speaker 1: no male testosterone singer has ever said I don't want

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Speaker 1: to see that online stage. Who is this guy? Who

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Speaker 1: does he think he is? So I realize that that

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Speaker 1: is far less a concern to me than the fear

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Speaker 1: of the God that I worship, and not for any

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Speaker 1: like egotistical or self righteous reason. But I think that

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Speaker 1: you should be proud of that. If you are the

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Speaker 1: first one in thirty how many every year, it's kind

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Speaker 1: of cool, you know what I mean? It's kind of

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Speaker 1: cool and kind of like, wow, how has nobody in

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Speaker 1: thirty six six years had an issue with this? So

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Speaker 1: to your point of who knows what conversations will happen?

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Speaker 1: Who knows next year when the band comes in and goes, really,

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Speaker 1: that's what you guys do, then they might say, well,

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Speaker 1: last year Granger Smith actually opted out, and then they

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Speaker 1: can go us two, Yeah, we're opting out. Yeah, maybe

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Speaker 1: that could happen instead of saying no one in thirty

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Speaker 1: six years is said no, and then the band might go,

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Speaker 1: I guess it's not that big a deal. The other

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Speaker 1: thing I want to say, on the other side of

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Speaker 1: the flip side of this whole deal, I want to

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Speaker 1: say that it is. Still it still blows me away

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Speaker 1: that we as a band are even worth something that

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Speaker 1: if you take ten thousand out of the paycheck, we're

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Speaker 1: still going to play it. So I don't want to

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Speaker 1: let that just slide like they're taking ten grand from me.

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Speaker 1: That's a big deal. It still is a big deal.

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Speaker 1: I'm blown away that we could because for most of

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Speaker 1: my career ninety percent of it, we didn't earn over

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Speaker 1: one thousand dollars. Yeah, one hundred percent of my career.

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Speaker 1: So I actually remember my first one thousand dollars show

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Speaker 1: and that was a massive deal. So I don't want

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Speaker 1: to just throw that number out like I'm in any

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Speaker 1: way bragging. I do want to throw the number out, though,

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Speaker 1: to say, the severity of what these people are doing,

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Speaker 1: it's significant. I've never heard of someone taking ten thousand

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Speaker 1: from any company like that because of a moral conviction. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy, that is. Yeah, So there we go. That's

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Speaker 1: my question of Bernie too, right. I mean, you couldn't

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Speaker 1: have thrown like a calvinist question like last week at me, right,

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Speaker 1: I had to be I also think that you have honestly, man,

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Speaker 1: I know Chris, I know your band. I know, Tyler,

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Speaker 1: You've got a great team that believes in you. And man,

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Speaker 1: when you have that culture, it's it's not dependent on

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Speaker 1: one decision of this and this it's like ride or die. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'll run through a brick wall, man, what do you?

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Speaker 1: Let's let's go any nation. After last week's podcast and

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Speaker 1: reading all the comments, man, they they support you, and

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Speaker 1: I think they'll continue to do it regardless. That's awesome.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, shout out to Chris for catching that in

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Speaker 1: the advance and go and screenshot it and be like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, let's send this to granger So we're going

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Speaker 1: to get into your questions. Guys. This is it's anything

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Speaker 1: you email to Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. And

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Speaker 1: I have a bunch that I have ready for Burns

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Speaker 1: today and I wanted to kind of start with a

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Speaker 1: kind of a looser, easier one. Here's one subject. Subject

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Speaker 1: line is music. Okay, says hey Grainger. My name is Mark.

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Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of your music. I'm a local

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Speaker 1: musician from Wichital Kansas. I play guitar and I'm a singer.

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Speaker 1: I've been playing music since two thousand and six. I've

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Speaker 1: been in and out of bands since two thousand and eight.

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Speaker 1: I've always had trouble finding the right people to make

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Speaker 1: music with, and I've always had trouble finding the right

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Speaker 1: producers that could teach me more about making music. My

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Speaker 1: biggest dream is to play music and make music for

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Speaker 1: a living and then play I'll go to Iowa and

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Speaker 1: have them take ten thousand dollars from My question is

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Speaker 1: how'd you get into play music? How do you make

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Speaker 1: kids out here? So this is this is another question

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Speaker 1: Burns you and I have gotten before. How do you

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Speaker 1: find band members? And what advice do you have for

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Speaker 1: an inspiring musician as myself? And I love reading these

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Speaker 1: because you are also a musician. So first of all,

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Speaker 1: I want to say that there's a different world than

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Speaker 1: when I was kind of coming up, And there's a

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Speaker 1: different world on the internet and YouTube. And when you

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Speaker 1: say having trouble finding the right producers who could teach

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Speaker 1: me more about making music, man, there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: them on YouTube right now. Yeah, it's a different world. Now,

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Speaker 1: how do we direct Mark in wichital Kansas shout out

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Speaker 1: to Kansas? How do we how do we kind of

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Speaker 1: direct him to finding the right band? Yeah? I have

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Speaker 1: one idea. I think there's still a guitar center in

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Speaker 1: which talk Kansas. I'm pretty sure that's usually a good place.

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Speaker 1: Go to guitar center and you go to any guy

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Speaker 1: that's working the counter and be like, hey, my name

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Speaker 1: is Mark, I'm struggling finding band members. Well, those guys

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Speaker 1: at guitar so have seen every band member come through

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Speaker 1: which ital Kansas. Yep, that's right at the counter. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think it's you. You got to get out and

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Speaker 1: meet people, and you got to understand that probably the

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Speaker 1: first three or four people you cycle through the band

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Speaker 1: may not click, and you just gotta hey, let's just

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Speaker 1: let's just jam. Let's get together and play. Let's get

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Speaker 1: together and play. If yeah, I don't think you get

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Speaker 1: too far ahead, I think you've said this before in

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Speaker 1: this answer, Like he said he wants to how do I,

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Speaker 1: you know, find a producer to make music and I

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Speaker 1: want to do music as a career, and maybe, you know,

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Speaker 1: I think you can't jump too far ahead, man, like

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Speaker 1: you got to find just start with finding the right

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Speaker 1: people to play with, see what see what music comes,

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Speaker 1: and see what the culture of the band is and

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Speaker 1: what everybody else in the band's desire and if they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we want to make a record too, And then you

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Speaker 1: guys collect actively can find a producer and then a

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Speaker 1: tour manager, and then you know, like, yeah, you don't

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Speaker 1: put on the balcony before the foundation. That's perfect. And

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Speaker 1: I want to say, Mark, you say, my biggest dream

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Speaker 1: is to play music and make music for a living.

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Speaker 1: So let's change that to my biggest dream is to

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Speaker 1: have fun playing music. Yeah, you switch that and stop

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Speaker 1: worrying about making a living with it, because I know

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Speaker 1: Bernie and I when we first started, that wasn't the goal.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't I want to make a living with this. It

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Speaker 1: was just like I want to do this, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I'll make a living around it so that I can

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Speaker 1: do it, right, That's right. Yeah, So yeah, you're you're

410
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Speaker 1: in the right place. Go to your local music store.

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Speaker 1: If anyone's listening, I see a lot of questions like this.

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Speaker 1: If you're wondering about go to your local music store.

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Speaker 1: Hang out with those guys, learn meet them, Meet the

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Speaker 1: guys at the counter, tell them your predicament. They probably

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Speaker 1: know someone, if not themselves, It could help you out.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's go to what how about this one?

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Speaker 1: It's called Texas road trip, says Hey Granger, this is

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Speaker 1: Danny from Ludswisburg, Germany. I want to ask you what

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Speaker 1: are your favorite spots in Texas for a road trip

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Speaker 1: that my wife and I are planning to do soon.

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Speaker 1: We'd love to spend three to four weeks travel around

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Speaker 1: the whole state of Texas, starting and maybe ending in Dallas,

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming because of the airport, So that would be

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Speaker 1: awesome to get to to get to know your must

425
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 1: to go places. Of course, Georgetown and Austin's always on

426
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: our list. I hope you like our snackpatrick package that

427
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: we sent. Thank you so much, buddy, Yeah, you got

428
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: you guys are awesome. And so I'm assuming Danny wants

429
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: to wants to use Dallas as a hub. That's what

430
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: I like in and they travel around. Where are they

431
00:25:53,200 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: coming from Germany? So? Oh from Germany, Ludswickburg, Germany, So

432
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: you could use You could also use Houston, Danny, Houston's

433
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 1: and other inter international city in Texas. Austin has very limited,

434
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 1: so you could do Dallas, rent a car, go work

435
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 1: your way. Yeah, that's what that's what he should do.

436
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: Find to Dallas and work his way south until he

437
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: gets to Austin, see the sites in Austin, go to

438
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: like you should go to Fredericksburg and see all the

439
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 1: German heritage. I don't know if you want to see

440
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 1: German heritage when you're coming from Germany. Totally. Yeah, schlitter

441
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: Bond and the and the river down there. If I

442
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 1: were you, Danny, I would I would go and explore

443
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 1: the German heritage of Texas. Eat, eat a couple of

444
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 1: restaurants and it might not be intriguing to you, but

445
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: eat a couple of German restaurants in New Bronfels or

446
00:26:55,520 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 1: Fredericksburg and meet a culture of people that settled there

447
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: in the eighteen hundreds from your country. Yeah, it's very interesting.

448
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 1: Then you could work your way down to San Antonio,

449
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: right see the river walk yep, Alamo, Go see the Alamo.

450
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: There's there's a lot of cool things in San Antonio.

451
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 1: And then from San Antonio hit I ten and you

452
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: then you go to Houston. I mean, if they're going

453
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,679
Speaker 1: to be here, he said two to three weeks, So

454
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: then you can go to Galveston. Go down to Galveston

455
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: or go down to Poor Day and then work his

456
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: way up the coast with Galveston to Houston. Yeah, that's

457
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: a long time, two three weeks and then and then

458
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 1: fly out of Houston. Yeah, that'd be my thought. So

459
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 1: then you're seeing a little bit of East Texas, a

460
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: little bit of the hill country. You got to see

461
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: the hill country because yeah, when you see some of

462
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: the hill country, you're gonna think, oh, that's the Texas.

463
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 1: When you see like the cattle, and that's the Texas

464
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: I had in my mind. That's the ranch, the ranches

465
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: I had in my mind. And you'll see that on

466
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: your on your way like out to Fredericksburg. Lukenbach would

467
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: be cool to stop at Lukenbok. So yeah, I think

468
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 1: that's good job, Bernie. Yeah, let's take a break. We'll

469
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 1: be right back with some more questions. I podcast brought

470
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471
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Speaker 1: dot com slash granger. All right, let's dig into some

538
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 1: questions and I'm gonna kick it over to you. Burns.

539
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: I've noticed that you got a little stubble today. Man,

540
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,719
Speaker 1: is this after the amber? The podcast question about? Are

541
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: you trying to like I need to shave? Okay, we'll see.

542
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna kick it over to you. We

543
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: have Bible question, we have softball question. We have some

544
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 1: advice parents, finding friends, brain or soul. How much money

545
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: should I have? I'm in a predicament head on collision

546
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: costs my husband his leg, man of the house. And

547
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: then we have no subject. Did any of those stand

548
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: out for the next one. I don't know if the

549
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: softball question is about softball or if it's just like

550
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: an easy one. It's just an easy one, but I

551
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 1: love softball, playing the Men's softball League before I got

552
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 1: injured like the third game because I'm old. But let's

553
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: go with softball question said, I would like to begin

554
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: by just being grateful, grateful for how much you give

555
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: to your fans and your humble words of advice. I

556
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 1: would wonder if you can give me some advice. I

557
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 1: would like to be anonymous. I'm struggling with mental health.

558
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: I get anxious. I'm sorry, I read the wrong one. Okay, softball,

559
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: actually hit the wrong one. But we'll keep going. Okay,

560
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 1: keep going. It's interesting, like a slider in softball. Somehow

561
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 1: sovereignty of God, I actually hit the wrong one. Maybe

562
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 1: we needed to read this. I'm struggling with mental health.

563
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: I get depressed quickly. But I've learned to live in

564
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: the presence, in present, in the present, and I have

565
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 1: low expectations and higher gratefulness. I have a good, methodical

566
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 1: morning routine which begins at six am, consists of what

567
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: your podcast says, the warm, hot chocolate, etc. But it

568
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: seems I'm a different person in the morning. How do

569
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 1: I keep being that morning person? I know exactly what

570
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: you mean, living with the purpose to do in God's will,

571
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: but being the person that I would like to be.

572
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: I would like to be more grateful. I would like

573
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 1: to be nice to everyone I meet, and I feel

574
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: like I'm not as good or something. I don't quite

575
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: know how to get along with others. Please give me

576
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: some advice. Sorry, for my bad reading here. So okay,

577
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: so we have an anonymous person. I'll respect that, and

578
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 1: it is a she, and I could let me kind

579
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 1: of paraphrase. She's struggling with depression and anxiety, but she's

580
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: starting her morning routine getting up at six. Sounds like

581
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: she's drinking some hot chocolate, doing some reading, and she

582
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: feels great. And then as the day starts going on,

583
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 1: that starts wearing away, and she starts to become snappy

584
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 1: and not nice, and she wants to be able to

585
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,360
Speaker 1: maintain and I feel that. I feel that in a

586
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: lot of ways. Yeah. When we get to be by ourselves,

587
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 1: usually we're pretty good. It's when other people, we have

588
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 1: to interact with other people that it's like, oh, act,

589
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: you know, I have to be kind of these people patient,

590
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 1: and it starts to expose people, expose you know, what's

591
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: really inside of us. And there's a there's a real

592
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: thing called decision fatigue. Yeah, the more decisions you make,

593
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: you start wearing down. You only have so many you're

594
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: capable of in a day, which is why some of

595
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: the crazy billionaires of the world. You'll notice they wear

596
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,280
Speaker 1: the same thing every day, like they wear a black

597
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: t shirt and black pants every single day like their

598
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: whole closet. Is that because they've got it down to

599
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 1: a science where they actually leave that every decision matters.

600
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: I believe that too, and taking the decision of what

601
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 1: you're going to wear out m H gives you availability

602
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: for one more decision that day. Amber and I talked

603
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: about this yesterday because we're moving into this house, and

604
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 1: I told her, I said, hey, these next few days,

605
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: be aware of decision fatigue, because when you get a

606
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 1: couch in and you go, maybe it should go the

607
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: other way, may no, put the two chairs, and then

608
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: you do that enough, we're gonna start getting snappy with

609
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: each other. We're just start getting frustrated with the kids.

610
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna we're gonna have a lot of decision fatigue.

611
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: So I think you're feeling that in this in this email,

612
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 1: and I think I think you're doing You're on a

613
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 1: You're on a great path because first of all, you care,

614
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: you you are aware that you're doing this, like the

615
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: key becoming aware that you're becoming snappy. So what do

616
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 1: you what do you burns? What do you tell of

617
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: this person? Well, they mentioned depression anxiety, right, I think

618
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: those two words. One are very a lot more prevalent

619
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 1: in this culture now than they ever have been. Two,

620
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 1: I think there are words that can be used kind

621
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,760
Speaker 1: of flippantly sometimes. So if this is actual, like clinical depression,

622
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: this is I would see a medical professional. I would

623
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 1: see a therapist or a counselor, and I would maybe

624
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: talk through the severity of this depression, knowing people that

625
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 1: have struggled with depression all the way to like suicidal

626
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: check you into a hospital. Level two. Hey, I just

627
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 1: get emo sad sometimes and like there. I think there's

628
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 1: different levels of that. So I would I would talk

629
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: to somebody, if you have a community of folks, if

630
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: you can ask around. Hey, I don't think that these

631
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: things need to be something that's kind of hush hush,

632
00:37:54,840 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: like talking about mental health. Seeking help for mental health,

633
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: we do it for everything else, for spiritual health, for

634
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: physical health. We there's no qualm about going to a

635
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: trainer because man, I feel like I need a dietitian

636
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: and I need things for my body. That yeah, I

637
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: would suggest that and then past that. I mean, really,

638
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 1: I think what's getting exposed, you know, throughout the day

639
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: is just our you know, this person's you know, humanity

640
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: and how what's on the inside and how much patience

641
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: they have and how much compassion they have and humility

642
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 1: and and so I don't know how to other than

643
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 1: you know, going back to you know, the spirit of God,

644
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: going back to God's word, being surrounded by community that

645
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: is pointing in that direction, and being prayerful. I just

646
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 1: start to pray diligently that God would sustain you throughout

647
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,240
Speaker 1: the day and just see what happens. You know, starts.

648
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,879
Speaker 1: I think you start simple. It's all great advice, and

649
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: we're going to tell you every time that if you're

650
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: struggling with anxiety or depression, to seek a medical help

651
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 1: on top of your wise counsel and because there might

652
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 1: be a medication involved that you need, you know, and

653
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 1: I'm not qualified to tell you about that, but there's

654
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: a doctor that is so I know that that sometimes

655
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 1: there's just something going on up there that medication can help. Absolutely,

656
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: so there might be that I would I want to

657
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: say one more thing, because I think Bernie wrapped it

658
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: up perfectly. There's one more thing I want to challenge

659
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: you with, and that during your morning quiet time and

660
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 1: you feel calm and you feel peace, challenge yourself as

661
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,280
Speaker 1: you move into the day, to stay present and stay

662
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 1: aware of yourself and your mood changing, and try to

663
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: identify what's causing that. I say that because when I

664
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 1: challenge myself to that, I do a lot better. And

665
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: when I start recognizing what's causing me to do that,

666
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:24,280
Speaker 1: then I see it in another situation. So for example,

667
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 1: if I if I get mad at two people in

668
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 1: a row in two different scenarios, my brain goes it

669
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 1: sets off an alarm and goes, uh, oh, it's not them, right,

670
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 1: there's a common denominator. What's going on. Then I'll go, ah,

671
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 1: that early flight this morning, they got me okay. So

672
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 1: that means if I did it twice, I'm gonna do

673
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: it three times, and I'm gonna do it. They're probably

674
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 1: the rest of the day, somebody's gonna say something or

675
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 1: text me or call me, or I'm gonna get an

676
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: email or see a comment on Instagram and I'm gonna go,

677
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go off, I'm gonna get mad, and so

678
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 1: then I go, it's not them. So my point is

679
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 1: to you email or recognize when you're getting triggered and

680
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 1: then try to place the trigger, like maybe it's caffeine,

681
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 1: Maybe it's lack of sleep, maybe it's something else, but

682
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: you could start finding out. Ah, I know why instead

683
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: of the it's not them, it's not their fault. The

684
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: world's gonna do what the world's gonna do. You can

685
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 1: only control yourself and how you react to it. So

686
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: go into the day during your quiet time and just

687
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 1: challenge yourself, like I'm going to go in and it's

688
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: first the first time I feel myself triggering to not

689
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 1: being nice, I'm gonna go up there, it is why

690
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 1: am I doing that? And try to find something besides

691
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 1: the other person to blame for them. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah,

692
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:58,479
Speaker 1: mental health is definitely not something to take lightly. Now. Yeah,

693
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: there's there's many, many layers to it. So we wish

694
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: you the best and you know, hope that you can

695
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 1: find some wise counsel and some help. This is an

696
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: interesting question here. It's the subject line is parents okay,

697
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 1: and this is the shortes say, Hey, grangdeer, I'm twelve

698
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: years old. I'm from Lanigan, Saskatchewan, a small town in

699
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: Canada where I grew up. I have a divorced parents

700
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,800
Speaker 1: and I'm wondering if I should treat my step parents

701
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 1: like my real parents. And if you don't have an answer,

702
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 1: then how do I ask God? Wow? This guy's name

703
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: is Ben, so Ben is twelve. He's in Canada from

704
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: a He's twelve. He's twelve listening to the podcast Emailing

705
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: Us and it's an interesting question. Yeah, I'm wondering if

706
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: I should treat my step parents like my real parents.

707
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 1: What do you so? I'm guessing that mom and dad

708
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 1: split and they both got remarried, or maybe one of

709
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 1: them and so like that. Hey, yeah, yeah, first of all,

710
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: which before you even start burns, let's just say I'm sorry, Ben.

711
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: This is not on None of this is on you.

712
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 1: And I hate that the I hate that this is

713
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 1: the world and this is how it is, and that

714
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 1: you even have to deal with this at all. Yep,

715
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 1: because a twelve year old shouldn't have to be thinking

716
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 1: like this. Yeah, Ben, I've been through this right about

717
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 1: your age. Actually, I didn't have to for for a

718
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 1: long time. I didn't have to go through the parents,

719
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: the step parents and the parents getting remarried. But I

720
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: know that feeling of why did this happen? And how

721
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: do I respond? Because it really is I mean, and

722
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 1: this is like every question every situation that gets put

723
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: in front of us, for anybody out there and for

724
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 1: us for the same thing with the concert, it's our response.

725
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:16,479
Speaker 1: We can control our response. We cannot control You can't

726
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: control your parents. You can't control your step parents. What

727
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: you can control is your response. I know you're twelve,

728
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,280
Speaker 1: so let's first stop and say give yourself some grace.

729
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: You're still learning, like your brain is not fully developed yet.

730
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if ours are much Moss

731
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 1: twelve year old, So just give yourself some grace, take

732
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: a deep breath, and just you know, first of all,

733
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 1: celebrate the fact that Granger picked your email. That's pretty cool.

734
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: Go tell all your friends. You don't have to say

735
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 1: like what it was about, and that you just kind

736
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,879
Speaker 1: of like left your heart out for the nation to see.

737
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: Let's just start with the fact that, hey, this is

738
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 1: kind of cool. You live in a world where you're

739
00:44:55,600 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: you know, country music idol. You have access to them,

740
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 1: and you can like, yeah, let's get advice from it.

741
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: What a world we live in. So past that, then

742
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 1: give yourself some grace. As far as how to treat

743
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: your step parents. I think that if you start to

744
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: think about what grace is, and you start to give

745
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:27,359
Speaker 1: that to yourself and lower the expectations of yourself that

746
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: maybe you can also start to view your step parents

747
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,240
Speaker 1: that way. And my guess is is that they really

748
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: love you, and they want you to feel safe, and

749
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: they want you to learn, and they want to support you.

750
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 1: And so if you can ever get to the point

751
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 1: where you can give them that opportunity, I think that's

752
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: a great response. But there's a lot to navigate there

753
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 1: and you're still learning. So I would just say give

754
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: yourself some grace to make some mistakes, and that your

755
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 1: parents should be older and more mature and be able

756
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: to help you navigate. What do you think is? Yeah,

757
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 1: I think I can't speak as well as you can

758
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 1: about this, but I could say you can't go wrong

759
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 1: Ben with just treating him with respect. And that kind

760
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: of comes regardless on if they treat you good or bad.

761
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: Because let's put myself in this situation when I'm going

762
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 1: to Algona, Iowa this weekend. I'm gonna treat this guy

763
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: with respect. The dude took ten thousand dollars from me,

764
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: and he obviously has a lot you know that he's

765
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: going to say about me. But if I come in

766
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: with respect, just treating him with respect. And and once

767
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 1: again I could say you could you could treat in war,

768
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 1: you could treat the opposing enemy with respect. And so

769
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with maybe you're maybe these

770
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 1: stepparents are terrible people, maybe they're abuse of him in

771
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 1: some way. It still doesn't change the fact that you

772
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: could still treat them with respect. You don't have to

773
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 1: respect somebody to treat them with respect. That's a good point.

774
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,760
Speaker 1: So treat them with respect regardless of how you feel.

775
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,879
Speaker 1: And you're going to get the best from that. You're

776
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 1: gonna get the best version of them in response to

777
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 1: your respect you're giving them. So you know, use your

778
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: yes sirs, and yes ma'am's, and and and uh obey

779
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,479
Speaker 1: that the best that you the best that you can

780
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 1: if it's if it's obliging morally, and you're going to

781
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 1: get the you're going to get that right back to you.

782
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: So and I'm sorry you have to go through this. Brother. Yep.

783
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 1: We have Bible question, we have finding friends, we have

784
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 1: brain or soul, we have how much money should I have?

785
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: Let's do how much money should I have? Hey, my

786
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 1: name is Derek. I'm from Battleground, Washington. First of all,

787
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,280
Speaker 1: when I say I love your podcast, music and family

788
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 1: videos make my day. Thank you, buddy. I got a

789
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 1: chance to see at the Clark County Fair in two

790
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 1: thousand and eight with my wife girlfriend at the time.

791
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: I have two questions for you. First, I'm twenty years old,

792
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 1: I'm married, and I'm a kid on the way. I'm

793
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:17,240
Speaker 1: an electrician apprentice and almost able to become a journeyman.

794
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: I make about sixty thousand dollars a year. It's awesome,

795
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: but I still always feel like I'm way behind. I

796
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 1: feel like I don't ever have enough money in the bank,

797
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: especially for how much I make. I don't feel like

798
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: I spend a lot, but I just can't help but

799
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,800
Speaker 1: think that everyone my age has way more money saved

800
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: up than and I'm way behind. Given my age and

801
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 1: how much I make, how much money do you think

802
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: I should have in the bank if I don't have

803
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 1: car loans or any major bills. I just rent, which

804
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 1: is ten which is ten seventy five a month. My question.

805
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: My second question is my wife is twenty four months

806
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: to excuse me, twenty four weeks pregnant and we're having

807
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 1: a boy and I still don't have a name picked out.

808
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 1: Did you have that problem with your previous kids? How

809
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 1: do you go about it? Thank you for everything else.

810
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 1: I thought he was going to ask for recommendations on

811
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,880
Speaker 1: a name, and dude, I was gonna I had some names.

812
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: He kind of did. I mean, he said, how do

813
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,240
Speaker 1: you go about it? There's not many Bernies in the world.

814
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, if you want to contribute, you know, yeah,

815
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 1: do that? I love it? Or rangers? You know. So

816
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 1: this is kid number two at twenty twenty one years old?

817
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 1: Is that what he said? Yeah? Pregnant and see is

818
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 1: that what he said? I thought I'm the first party

819
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 1: said for twenty years old, I'm married and have a

820
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: kid on the way. Oh, kid, first, this is the

821
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: first one, first sixty thousand. There's a lot for twenty

822
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 1: years old to me in my mind, maybe I'm out

823
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: of touch, but that seems like a lot for twenty

824
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 1: I made fifteen thousand dollars. Maybe I was going to

825
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 1: say whenever I was that, I was going to say,

826
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 1: that's about three times when I made Yeah, I think

827
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 1: I made about twenty so yeah, and that's good. And

828
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 1: when I was making twenty thousand. I was. I thought

829
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 1: I was crushing it. I was like, man, I got

830
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 1: so much money. Hey, I mean I think you know

831
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: perception and contentment is a big part of money management, right,

832
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 1: I mean you knew me then I was at an apartment.

833
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 1: It was like six hundred dollars a month, and that

834
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 1: was I thought that was expensive looking at it now,

835
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 1: like six hundred but then, but that's all I had

836
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 1: to pay was that and then food and gas. Yeah,

837
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,800
Speaker 1: was that the first place you moved to Nashville? That

838
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 1: came so? Yeah, okay, so I was paying that and

839
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,600
Speaker 1: then I still had like five hundred bucks a month.

840
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: I did left over. I thought you were rich man.

841
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: When I came to visit you, I'm like, oh, we

842
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 1: can't be friends. This guy's rich making twenty g's baby

843
00:50:55,880 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: twenty here. Oh so so he's ill. Shall shoot him?

844
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: Over to Dave Ramsey, some of these questions, Yeah, I

845
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:11,880
Speaker 1: think a lot of it is money management and restraint,

846
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:18,359
Speaker 1: understanding what you have, what you're spending money on, and

847
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:22,839
Speaker 1: being able to exercise restraint to like, Okay, we don't

848
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: need to do that, we don't need this to be happy.

849
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 1: We need to live below our means and I mean,

850
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 1: I can only speak to my own experience. I love

851
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 1: living below my means. I love you know, and Leslie

852
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:41,879
Speaker 1: and I have talked about wanting people to, by the

853
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: way that we are generous, think that we have so

854
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 1: much more money than we do. But by the way

855
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 1: we live, I think we have so much less money

856
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 1: than we actually do. So I don't know take that

857
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: for a lot of that. So I'll get specific with you, Derek,

858
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 1: because Dave Ramsey, who you could you could go and

859
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 1: I'm sure he has YouTube videos or something, but he

860
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 1: has a he has really good books. It's all about money.

861
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: So Dave would say, to answer your question specifically, how

862
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: much money should I have in the bank, Dave would

863
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:24,319
Speaker 1: say one thousand dollars. Should have one thousand dollars as

864
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 1: a safety net, and that's that's he calls it an

865
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 1: emergency fund. One thousand dollars emergency fund. If you don't

866
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 1: have one thousand dollars in the bank, that's okay. Not

867
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,720
Speaker 1: a lot of people do. So you just start building

868
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 1: that thousand. But once you get to the thousand, don't

869
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: touch it. That's your emergency fund. Put it somewhere where

870
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,879
Speaker 1: you don't touch it. It's for emergencies only. It's for

871
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 1: the house gets flooded and you need that extra cash.

872
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 1: So you leave it and you don't touch it, and

873
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: then you start building. After you have the thousand, your

874
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 1: next step is you want to work toward. According to

875
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 1: Dave Ramsey, you want to work towards three months of

876
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 1: all your bills. So add up all your bills. You should.

877
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 1: You got one thousand and seventy five a month for

878
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 1: your rent, so you take that times three. You take

879
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: your cell phone, your wife's cell phone times three. You

880
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 1: add all that up. Whatever that number is, then that's

881
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: your next goal. So that's say that's fifty six hundred dollars,

882
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 1: So that's your next goal. Have fifty six hundred dollars.

883
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 1: That means that means you get in a car accident

884
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 1: and you lose your job, and your wife gets laid off,

885
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 1: and every worst case scenario happens, the pandemic hits, whatever

886
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,239
Speaker 1: it all hits. At the same time. Now you got

887
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 1: three months to live on. You have three months in

888
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:45,759
Speaker 1: the bank to live on, and you would think that

889
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: three months ninety days is enough time to kick something

890
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: else over, to get a new job, to start a

891
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 1: new piece of income. So that's ye, once again, not

892
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: my philosophy or it is, but it's from Dave Ramsey

893
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: and that's being very specific. So a thousand dollars and

894
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 1: then once you get it three months. Second question is

895
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 1: and before I go back to Burns, it's also being

896
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:16,720
Speaker 1: frugal and being having good management, which is not easy

897
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 1: when you're twenty. I was terrible. It's not easy. You've

898
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 1: got a lot more responsibility at your at your twenty

899
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,800
Speaker 1: than I did at my twenty, so it's not easy,

900
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 1: and it's kind of a learned it's a learned trait

901
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 1: and you'll just learn it and you'll practice it. You're

902
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:38,280
Speaker 1: emailing me, so you care. So that's great. Baby names, Ferns,

903
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: did you have baby names picked out at twenty four

904
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 1: weeks pregnant? I don't think so, Yeah, I don't. I

905
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:57,439
Speaker 1: don't think so. No. Not for Boston. Stella came through

906
00:54:57,480 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: foster care and adoption, so she was an emergency placement,

907
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 1: so we decided her name after she came. And then Jet.

908
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 1: I think the kids actually named Jet, but it wasn't. Uh,

909
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 1: it wasn't till, you know, until he was almost here.

910
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 1: Something I see with Derek is I see, And it's

911
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 1: just probably natural. When you're twenty, you you seem to

912
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,320
Speaker 1: be thinking a lot about whatever everyone else is doing.

913
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,720
Speaker 1: So you seemed that you, like you said, I can't

914
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:32,919
Speaker 1: help but think that everyone my age has a lot

915
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 1: more money saved up and I'm way behind. And you're

916
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 1: also kind of in situating that a lot of other

917
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 1: people have their kids already named and you don't. Yeah,

918
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 1: and so a lot of this I would just say,

919
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 1: just pump the brakes a little bit, man, Yeah, and

920
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:49,880
Speaker 1: people don't. People don't have most of our culture the

921
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 1: way that we kind of you know, nobody has as

922
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: much money as you think they have. Is that fair?

923
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 1: Absolutely right? Like, yeah, I have ten thousand dollars less

924
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 1: than everyone thinks. We just perceive things to be like,

925
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 1: oh man, they did this, so they must have like

926
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:12,319
Speaker 1: all this, when actually they you know, like racked up

927
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:16,399
Speaker 1: another twelve thousand dollars on another credit card in order

928
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 1: to do that. It's all perception. It's not reality. It's

929
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 1: not real. The best thing you can do, honestly is

930
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 1: follow Granger's advice, because Dave Ramsey, after you get to

931
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 1: that point, he will start attacking your debt and telling

932
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:37,359
Speaker 1: you somebody who has gone from you know, very much

933
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 1: in debt and making no money and being very poor

934
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: at managing it. That moment when you're just debt free,

935
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: you don't have any debt, is a really great feeling.

936
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: And Leslie and I went through the Dave Ramsey thing too,

937
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 1: and it was it was a catalyst for it. So yeah,

938
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 1: we did two and was he called baby steps so

939
00:56:56,400 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 1: something like that, the steps to yeah, yeah, freedom and

940
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 1: then he has people calling this radio show and they'll

941
00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:05,960
Speaker 1: announce that they're debt free, and it's like this big celebration.

942
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 1: Then once you're debt free, including the emergency funds you've

943
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,760
Speaker 1: saved up, then you could really start some fun stuff,

944
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 1: you know, like like child like your kids college funds

945
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: and different things. Yeah, yeah, you want to hit one more? Yeah,

946
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 1: I just this one popped right up, so I want

947
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 1: to read it says I'm in a predicament. Hey Granger,

948
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: my name is Aaron. I'm twenty one from North Texas.

949
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 1: I've been dating this girl for five years, and for

950
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 1: the first year it was great. She let me hang

951
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: out with my friends and do all the guy stuff.

952
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 1: But now the past four years I feel like I've

953
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 1: turned my back on all my friends because she doesn't

954
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 1: like them. Back in twenty nineteen, I had a good

955
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: friend pass away and I missed out hanging with him

956
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 1: because my girlfriend didn't like me hanging out with my friends.

957
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 1: And now I'm afraid I'm going to miss out on

958
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 1: another friend because she won't let me hang out and

959
00:57:55,040 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 1: do what I want to do. Listen, He's I don't know, No,

960
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think. I'm trying to not jump straight

961
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:13,919
Speaker 1: to that, Yeah, don't do that you said last time,

962
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,200
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to think. I'm trying to figure out, Yeah,

963
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think about this girl and what if

964
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 1: this dude is just hanging out with sleeves balls and

965
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: she's like trying to say, Hey, what's his name? Did

966
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 1: he say his name? And she loves Aaron. She's like, Aaron,

967
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 1: you could be such a great dude, these guys, because

968
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I have been in a situation where I

969
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 1: was hanging out with the wrong people and if I

970
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 1: would have continued that, by the grace of God, I

971
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 1: was you know, it wasn't a woman that you know

972
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 1: turned me, but another way. So I'm just trying to

973
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 1: see both sides of it. So one, Aaron, check yourself.

974
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 1: Are your friends like instantly, you know, throwing up in

975
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 1: the middle of the night because you've drunk too much?

976
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:09,520
Speaker 1: Are you constantly doing things that have the police called

977
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 1: on you? If it's just like, hey, I just want

978
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 1: to go, you know, watch a game with the guys

979
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:21,880
Speaker 1: and hang out and there's nothing, where's it coming from?

980
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:25,080
Speaker 1: If it's if it's the girls insecurity, I would say, good,

981
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,840
Speaker 1: you got a dumper. And also five years to date

982
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 1: is a long time, ye, like we I think we

983
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:37,440
Speaker 1: dated like a year, two years maybe bingo, you're hitting everything.

984
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 1: Just rewind it and listen everything Burn said, I don't

985
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,520
Speaker 1: have to say anything, but yeah, yeah, curature is just

986
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:45,600
Speaker 1: gonna say just Dumper. Like my first thought I read it.

987
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 1: My first thought like this is we're sitting around a

988
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 1: campfire where all buddies and Aaron's like, guys, gonna tell

989
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 1: you something. And then I'm kind of offended because I'm

990
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 1: at the campfire with him, and so I'm now I'm

991
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 1: one of the guys that she wants, you know, to

992
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 1: get rid of. Yeah, but I say, my first thought

993
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 1: is just dumper because that's crazy. But then my second

994
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 1: thought is five years, Like maybe she's getting kind of

995
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: pissed that you are still dating after five years and

996
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 1: you're not making a commitment. Then I start thinking maybe

997
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: Bernie's right, like maybe maybe some of the friends or

998
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be hanging out with anyone. But then he

999
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: says one of them passed away. So then I feel

1000
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 1: bad because then I feel like I'm being disrespectful for

1001
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,640
Speaker 1: the one that passed away because he was a good dude,

1002
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 1: but that also created some kind of some kind of

1003
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 1: animosity or bitterness towards the girl, like, hey, I didn't

1004
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 1: get to hang out with him before he died because

1005
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: of you. And it's like, here's the answer, Aaron, and

1006
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 1: I really believe this. It's not exact, but here's the answer. Communicate. Yeah, yeah,

1007
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 1: you got to communicate. This is the thing that we

1008
01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 1: have become the worst at and we just want to text.

1009
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: Don't talk about this through a text if you are

1010
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 1: like you guys need to just sit for a while

1011
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 1: and really dig into these things. And honestly, if you're

1012
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 1: not in that place and that's something you want to do,

1013
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 1: you probably need to dump her anyway, because she needs

1014
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,360
Speaker 1: to go find a dude that knows how to communicate

1015
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 1: and wants to fight for the relationship, and if she's

1016
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:09,840
Speaker 1: not willing to do that, you need to dump her

1017
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: because you need that. But you got to communicate all

1018
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 1: these things you're feeling. If she doesn't know this, you

1019
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 1: guys are just like separating. So there's no use continuing

1020
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 1: unless you're trying to get back to the same path

1021
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 1: and move forward. Communicate. I had no words, man, that's it.

1022
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 1: That's it. I appreciate you emailing man. It always weirds

1023
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 1: me out when I see stuff like this because I've

1024
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 1: been I've been there, been in those kind of situations

1025
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:41,920
Speaker 1: and usually without hearing. We need her to email this girl, Yeah,

1026
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,560
Speaker 1: when did this come in? This came in May eleventh.

1027
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:47,800
Speaker 1: We need her to email us and tell she's going

1028
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: to tell us a different side of the story. Okay,

1029
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,919
Speaker 1: but all that being said, if I'm totally on Aaron's side,

1030
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:55,840
Speaker 1: if I haven't heard from her, I've been in situations

1031
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: like Aaron, and it's weird. If a girl starts not

1032
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 1: letting you hang out with your friends, it's just a

1033
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 1: bad sign. You got a dumper. Yep, Absolutely, let's let's

1034
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 1: get out of here. I would say get out early,

1035
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: but you've been in five years already, so right, I've

1036
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,680
Speaker 1: never been in a five year relationship. Besides Amber, that's

1037
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:17,360
Speaker 1: a long time. We're gonna get out of here, guys,

1038
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 1: but at first, I want to kick out a few

1039
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: shout outs. Courtney Pattison, Katie k Amanda Rainier. Here's one says, Hey,

1040
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 1: I'm Shelley Haley from Center Texas. Shout out to Shout

1041
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:37,840
Speaker 1: out to Shelley Sarah Miller. Shout out, we used to

1042
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:41,320
Speaker 1: know Sarah Miller. Or I did at least your birthday.

1043
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 1: Shout out to Tommy shoonhard for his twenty second birthday.

1044
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,000
Speaker 1: His birthday is July fourteenth, or I'm early on that

1045
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:52,360
Speaker 1: nice every time I do shout outs to have trouble

1046
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 1: with the names here, Alan Graham, I got that one

1047
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 1: from Alabama. Shout out, Thank you guys for listening, Love

1048
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,840
Speaker 1: all y'all, and love you Burns YouTube man. See you

1049
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 1: next time. First podcast number ninety one, first podcast in

1050
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 1: the new spot. In the new spot. If it looks

1051
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 1: or sounds bad, I promise I'll figure that out after

1052
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:11,240
Speaker 1: it's out and then I'll make those corrections. See you

1053
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:13,480
Speaker 1: next time. Love you guys, thanks for joining me on

1054
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:16,760
Speaker 1: the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You

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Speaker 1: could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.

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Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that

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Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you

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Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have

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Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,

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Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, Yigi