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Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Sammy J. And welcome to this week's

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Speaker 1: episode of the Lesbi Real Podcast. I am so honored

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Speaker 1: because I got to talk to my friend Bryan Elliott.

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Speaker 1: She is an incredible singer songwriter and has such an

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Speaker 1: interesting perspective in which she writes and views the world.

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Speaker 1: And I love this episode. It has such a special

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Speaker 1: place in my heart because I feel like it embodies

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Speaker 1: exactly what I want to do with this podcast. I

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Speaker 1: hope you guys enjoy it and I will see you soon.

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Speaker 1: For everybody who does not know Bryan Elliott, UM, I

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Speaker 1: want to give some background how we met because it's

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Speaker 1: been a minute in its beautiful story. It is so

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Speaker 1: I first met you. I think it was in August eighteen.

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Speaker 1: Are coming up on three years of knowing each other.

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Speaker 1: UM at the Arthur ash Kid's Day you performed. Is

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Speaker 1: when I was working with Radio Disney, a Radio Disney UM,

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Speaker 1: and I was introduced to and first of all, I

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Speaker 1: saw your set and I was like, man, this girl's

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Speaker 1: got some spunk. And then I just learned more about

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Speaker 1: your story and you told me about yourself. I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: like you're so inspiring. So for those who don't know,

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Speaker 1: tell them just your story, how you started out songwriting,

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Speaker 1: what your process was, and you're going to Harvard and

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Speaker 1: all that. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny because going to Harvard

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Speaker 1: and me doing music are kind of inextricably linked, which

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Speaker 1: is really funny. It's hysterical because didn't you remember you

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Speaker 1: telling you apply the first time you didn't get in?

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Speaker 1: Didn't get in? Yeah, So like in high school, starting

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Speaker 1: freshman year, I read Part and Prejudice in my freshman

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Speaker 1: English class, fresh English, freshman English class, and I just

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Speaker 1: got I got obsessed with like Jane Austen and like

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Speaker 1: nerdy literature, eighteenth century women authors, and I really thought like,

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Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I just want to read books for

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Speaker 1: the rest of my life. And I thought, like where

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Speaker 1: do I Where do I do that? I must go

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Speaker 1: to Harvard or something. And I said it one day

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Speaker 1: to a friend kind of as a joke because they

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Speaker 1: asked me, like, where do you want to go to college?

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, like where the nerds

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Speaker 1: go Harvard? And then I realized as I was joking

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Speaker 1: about that, that that was actually a real dream of

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Speaker 1: mine in that moment, and my parents didn't go to college,

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Speaker 1: and so even saying that seemed kind of hilarious and

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Speaker 1: completely out of reach. But I just decided, and I

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Speaker 1: had a conversation with my mom and my dad and

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Speaker 1: they were like, you know, you're kind of really social

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Speaker 1: and you're like hanging out with your friends. You might

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Speaker 1: need to like study just a little bit more if

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Speaker 1: you want to go to Harvard and UM. And so

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Speaker 1: that's what I did. My whole life actually just kind

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Speaker 1: of shifted. It was Harvard, it was Harvard or or Out,

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Speaker 1: We're out. It was like Rory Gilmore and Gilmore very

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Speaker 1: I watched that show. It was a great, very formative yes,

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Speaker 1: and and so I was so overwhelmed throughout high school

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Speaker 1: just trying to figure it out, not having a background

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Speaker 1: family wise that went to call Like I didn't even

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Speaker 1: know what a college application was. I had to google it,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, Google is everything. And I had some really

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Speaker 1: great friends who really helped, who knew more about the

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Speaker 1: process and UM. And so at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: I just found myself completely needing to not feel like

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Speaker 1: a college resume. UM. I needed to feel human again.

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Speaker 1: And my dad had this guitar that he bought when

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Speaker 1: he and my mom first got married. Um he got

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Speaker 1: it at a pawn shop and I was like, it

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Speaker 1: just it almost like called out to me, like play

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Speaker 1: me the guitar, which sounds like really cheesy, and but

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Speaker 1: it really was that. It was like you need to

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Speaker 1: do this, and um So I just started like learning

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Speaker 1: off YouTube chords, playing Taylor Swift and ed Sharon songs,

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Speaker 1: um and and I did that for like a year,

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Speaker 1: and then songwriting became. I just started writing songs. It

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Speaker 1: became this way for me to process at the end

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Speaker 1: of a really intense time in high school. And I

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Speaker 1: wrote so many songs. I think I wrote like thirty songs,

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Speaker 1: um in what time span in like in like three years.

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Speaker 1: That's still substantial. Yeah, with like applying and applying to

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Speaker 1: school and um so then I put my songs. I

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Speaker 1: put them on my college application kind of as like

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Speaker 1: really never thinking anything of it. Um that's so smart though. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was just like it's something that I've been doing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's a way to show show yourself and stand

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Speaker 1: out instead of being like I went to these classes,

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Speaker 1: I got these grades, and to show who you are. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I think there was always this part of me

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Speaker 1: that was like I knew that I was a nerd

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Speaker 1: and knew that I loved reading, but then music was

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Speaker 1: kind of my safe place. It was always a place

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Speaker 1: I like. My mom was very musical growing up, and

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Speaker 1: so music really felt second nature. And so I think

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Speaker 1: it was this kind of thing where I put it

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Speaker 1: on there because I was like, well, this, this is

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Speaker 1: always going to be part of me in some way,

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Speaker 1: so I want to show that. And when you applied

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Speaker 1: to Harvard, did you apply for the philosophy making it undeclared? Well,

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Speaker 1: it's undeclared. You don't have to declare, I think until

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Speaker 1: you're a sophomore at Harvard. But I knew that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to study philosophy. UM. I loved the idea of

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Speaker 1: asking questions what it means to be human and like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, your EP is literally a question that's very intentional,

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Speaker 1: too exactly. But so the story is I applied and

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Speaker 1: did not get in UM. And that was a real

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Speaker 1: blow because I my whole life was oriented around that school,

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Speaker 1: around that school, which was pretty it's pretty much a lot.

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Speaker 1: And I called my mom so sad, and she was like,

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Speaker 1: brand this is disappointing, but like it's okay, We're going

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Speaker 1: to get through this, I don't um And I got

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Speaker 1: a through a family friend, got an opportunity to start

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Speaker 1: doing music to work with a producer, and I kind

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Speaker 1: of thought such a random thing, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I could just do that for a year, like do

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Speaker 1: this music internship, like learn how to produce out my

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Speaker 1: songs and learn about music and the industry. Still thinking

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Speaker 1: like I'm going to go to Ford. Well, I definitely.

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Speaker 1: I mean in my brain, I was like, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to reapply to Harvard because why not? Like what do

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Speaker 1: I have to lose that this was your gap year?

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Speaker 1: This was Yes, That's how I was framing it was

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Speaker 1: like this is my gap year. And I definitely had

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Speaker 1: another college in mind because I was like, Okay, if

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Speaker 1: it's not Harvard, I still really do want to go

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Speaker 1: to college. This period Wake Forest University, which is still

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Speaker 1: has a very special place in my heart because I

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Speaker 1: really did almost go there. But even then I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll just do this music thing for like fun, but

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Speaker 1: I'm probably just gonna go to school and become like

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Speaker 1: a like I'm going to study philosophy, So what do

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Speaker 1: you do with you didn't think no, I was never

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Speaker 1: like I'm gonna do I'm going to pursue music. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be an artist. That was not my vocabulary. What

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Speaker 1: do you think going into it you were going to

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Speaker 1: end up doing if it wasn't music. I think I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to be. I was like, I'll probably be

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Speaker 1: a teacher. I'll study studying philosophy. Isn't like that much

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Speaker 1: different from saying I want to be an artist, but like,

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Speaker 1: I just I don't know. For me, it felt like

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Speaker 1: a more um like teaching felt like more of a

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Speaker 1: job than some kind of nebulous like I want to

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Speaker 1: be an artist thing. And it was actually my dad

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Speaker 1: when I was I was applying reapplying to Harvard, and

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Speaker 1: I was so like fixated on that and very nervous.

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Speaker 1: Um my dad called me. I had sent him some

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Speaker 1: of the music I was working on, and he called

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Speaker 1: me and he was like, Bren, I just just want

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Speaker 1: to say something, and he's like, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: you're going to react to it, okay, which when he

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Speaker 1: would say that, it was always like a stomach oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: here we go, or I just I knew I was

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Speaker 1: I needed to like calm down, but he was like,

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Speaker 1: you should go to college, like I want that for

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Speaker 1: you know. He I think he really wanted me to

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Speaker 1: go without like pressuring me. He's like, you know that,

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Speaker 1: that's like you know, we want that, we want that

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Speaker 1: for you. But he was like, I think you're an artist.

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Speaker 1: I was just like what he was like, I think

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Speaker 1: you need to allow yourself to view yourself that way.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, and like, first to have a just to

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Speaker 1: have a person, let alone a parent say that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I know my other artist friends, other friends who you know,

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Speaker 1: we aren't doing art by are doing other things. Like

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Speaker 1: I just know how incredibly privileged and beautiful that is

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Speaker 1: to have a parent who encourages that. So so that

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Speaker 1: was really the shift. That was really when I was like, whoa,

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Speaker 1: I think my dad is right, he's name is. He

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Speaker 1: knew me really well and he knew that I needed

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Speaker 1: permission to go there, and so I applied to Harvard.

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Speaker 1: I got in, and then I'm like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I'm an artist now because I decided this is my

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Speaker 1: only label. Yes, like no, exactly. That was the journey

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Speaker 1: was learning that you can as a human carry Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's that's natural, that's normal, And that was really the

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Speaker 1: conversation was like, I am going to go to school,

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Speaker 1: and the thought that I had was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: having a career in music isn't something you just It's

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Speaker 1: not overnight. It's really not, and people think it is.

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Speaker 1: I've learned over the past couple of years from just

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Speaker 1: doing my work it is such a hard job because

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Speaker 1: it is so oversaturated. Yes, especially now, especially now, especially

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Speaker 1: with TikTok and things just going viral. To be an

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Speaker 1: artist and release music and have that be your full income, girl, rough, yes,

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Speaker 1: unless you're are on a grand day, you know, well

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Speaker 1: then even then, I mean I hear I hear those

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Speaker 1: artists even talking about how I think it was. Even

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Speaker 1: like Julia Michael's on Twitter the other day, it was

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Speaker 1: so inspiring. She was like, it's so hard because like

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Speaker 1: you have to have a TikTok story or a streaming story,

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Speaker 1: and and she was going she speaking of a vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: honest person. Wow. Yeah, So I think I think for everyone,

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Speaker 1: no matter what, at any stage, you know, we're just

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Speaker 1: trying to navigate a new landscape. And especially with the

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Speaker 1: complete like shutdown of live music, TikTok really has become

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Speaker 1: the only way to you know, get your music out there,

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Speaker 1: so I understand why we are where we are, but

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Speaker 1: it is it's tricky. It's tricky enough, it's really tricky,

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Speaker 1: and it brings into the question like what's doing well.

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Speaker 1: Is it the songs by people that actually are an

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Speaker 1: artists that do it just for fun and that put

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Speaker 1: it I was a joke and then it goes viral

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Speaker 1: or is it the people that spend their time working

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Speaker 1: on the craft and then release it. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: That's a good question. I think probably both are true,

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Speaker 1: and that I like that breakdown. Well, so I think

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Speaker 1: something from about being my brother's philosophy major. It's fascinating

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Speaker 1: and the whole point of philosophies you just talked about

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Speaker 1: asking questions. Have you used any of the philosophy concepts

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Speaker 1: and theories in your writing or has it made you

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Speaker 1: view songwriting as a whole any differently? Yeah, it really

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Speaker 1: helped me with songwriting, I will say, studying philosophy, Yeah

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Speaker 1: it did. What was interesting was once I like was

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Speaker 1: fully in college and I was writing new songs. When

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Speaker 1: I was writing philosophy papers, I felt the same kind

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Speaker 1: of feeling that I felt when I was writing a song.

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Speaker 1: So interesting, Yeah, and I think it's because I think

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Speaker 1: it's also just like good writing in general, you just

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Speaker 1: you are trying to be clear and communicate these ideas.

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Speaker 1: Like when you're writing a paper, you like have your

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Speaker 1: main idea, your main concept. Like in a song, You're right,

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Speaker 1: you have that same thing in a chorus, like you're

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Speaker 1: trying to communicate, um, you know, the thesis. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I think songwriting is far more emotional um than than philosophy,

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Speaker 1: but I think they're kind of very similar. So would

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Speaker 1: you say songwriting is a shortened emotional version of philosophy too?

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Speaker 1: I love that, Yes, girl, make merch out of I think, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I need to get you involved because the way that

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Speaker 1: you just phase that again, it was like I don't

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Speaker 1: even emotional. Okay, wait, let me think. I think I

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Speaker 1: want to say, like overwhelmed, Like I'm like, it's just

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Speaker 1: hit me. I think it was. Songwriting is a shorter,

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Speaker 1: more emotional version of philosophy. I love that shorter and

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Speaker 1: more emotional version of philosophy. I love that. I want

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Speaker 1: to make I'm going to get on it today. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: What would you say your favorite philosophical theory is it

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Speaker 1: keeps you up that night? What I think about a lot.

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Speaker 1: Now is existential philosophy so like what I only took

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Speaker 1: a few classes, but it is this sort of like

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Speaker 1: the philosophy of the human experience, and I think it

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Speaker 1: really is. It has inspired a lot of my music

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Speaker 1: because it has to do with questions of authenticity and

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Speaker 1: um so, like the title for my EP Can I

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Speaker 1: Be Real? Came from this guy named sore and kir

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Speaker 1: Key Guard who is an existential philosopher. I think he

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Speaker 1: was eighteen hundreds and he wrote about yeah about He said,

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Speaker 1: the most common form of despair is not being who

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Speaker 1: you really are. And I see that and are like

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Speaker 1: in like today people on the internet, like we're all

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Speaker 1: just trying to be ourselves. Yeah, but there's so many

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Speaker 1: message is that we're receiving about what we should be,

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Speaker 1: you know, or which I think we're just kind of

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Speaker 1: like well. Social media definitely contributes to that and positively

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Speaker 1: and negatively in the sense of you see a highlight

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Speaker 1: reel not and you see that and you think that's

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Speaker 1: what I have to be. You feel bad because you're

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Speaker 1: not that, but everybody listening. Social media is so fake,

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Speaker 1: like it can be. It can be the generalized host

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Speaker 1: like I think of just No, that is not how

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Speaker 1: people look all the time. Oh no, let's make I

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Speaker 1: want to make that very clear because I felt for it,

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Speaker 1: and it was awful when I realized that wasn't true.

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Speaker 1: I was like, man, this is all just like a

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Speaker 1: weird experience. It's weird. It's a perception thing because you

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Speaker 1: see that and you're like, oh, that's really that's what

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Speaker 1: we should be. But then't even I heard this. I

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Speaker 1: think it was Cindy Crawford was interviewed once and someone said,

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Speaker 1: you know, I wish I looked like you, Like I

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Speaker 1: wish I looked like Sandy Crawford, And she said, I

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Speaker 1: wish I looked like Sandy Crawford too, right, Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: like that's how it is. I think today was TikTok

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Speaker 1: where this model I forget her name, but she was

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Speaker 1: saying the process to take that one photo, it's not

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Speaker 1: what she actually even looks like. It's five to six

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Speaker 1: hours makeup her photo shop lighting just to get one

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Speaker 1: photo the way that she's yeah, or sanding whatever. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, you're so, because there's the idea of

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Speaker 1: that the way you want to present, But then what

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Speaker 1: we actually all are and how we are day to day,

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Speaker 1: and part of me wishes we all showed that more

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Speaker 1: on social media. Yeah, I think it would help, It

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Speaker 1: would help me. It would help me too. And I think,

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Speaker 1: I know you're an overthinker. Yeah, but that's the thing

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Speaker 1: I'm so fascinating philosophy. For me, if I spent that

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Speaker 1: much time thinking about what is life, I would get

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Speaker 1: myself in a tail. It's not for everyone. How do

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Speaker 1: you as an over as a fellow, how do you

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Speaker 1: balance that between not overthinking but also living in the

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Speaker 1: moment and not worrying about what we are doing? As

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Speaker 1: a philosophical perspective, I think for me that's just been

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Speaker 1: about I think music, honestly, for me, has been a

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Speaker 1: way to kind of let it go, you know, to

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Speaker 1: just be in the moment. And I think it's why

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Speaker 1: I love performing so much, because when I walk on

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Speaker 1: that stage, all I have is that moment, you know.

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Speaker 1: And so I think music is a huge release. And

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Speaker 1: and yeah, and then just in life, like taking a walk.

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Speaker 1: I learned to walk during the pandemic, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: think I walked before or just like that wasn't a

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Speaker 1: thing for Yeah, watching some funny TV, any any show recommendations.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've been watching New Girl from start to

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Speaker 1: have you finished it? I'm almost I'm on the last season.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm getting a little emotional about it. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: I watched I think till season five, and then I

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Speaker 1: just for some reason I checked out, Well, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: had trouble getting through it. It's do you recommend to

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Speaker 1: push through? I think because it's such a specific type

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Speaker 1: of humor. I think there is that point where you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I get I get what this is. But yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: enjoying the last season because it's a little sentimental. But

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Speaker 1: maybe that's yeah, I like that TV show. Fun fact,

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Speaker 1: I met a guy off a dating app. Okay one time,

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Speaker 1: I've already done that, let's get into and we were

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Speaker 1: talking and he was saying, I saying, we're talking about

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Speaker 1: New Girls, Like, yeah, my least favorite character is Nick

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Speaker 1: because he's just like so angry at the time. He goes, man,

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Speaker 1: I'll my friends telling me. I'm like, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I mean it was just angry. I was like, how

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Speaker 1: do I fix that? I can't recover from that. Did

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Speaker 1: you get like a feeling from him that he was

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Speaker 1: like a really angry when I was surprised when he

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Speaker 1: said that, because I wouldn't if I just say that maybe,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I just feel like he complains a lot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Schmid is my favorite. Oh, Schmidt is great, so funny.

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Speaker 1: There are a few characters that are just so original.

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Speaker 1: Schmidt is one of them. Yes, I think that's the

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Speaker 1: beauty of the show. And even like Jess, like her quirkiness,

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Speaker 1: and it's just it's so relatable. It's very relatable. It's

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Speaker 1: just I don't know, you know, I started watching it

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Speaker 1: not too long ago, and you know how shows just

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Speaker 1: like like this works for me. Right now, That's how

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Speaker 1: I felt about Now. I don't know, I feel that

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Speaker 1: what show of I've been watching? The show is binging.

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Speaker 1: I was binging pot Stars for a little bit, like

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Speaker 1: so good. First of all, why is it on the

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Speaker 1: History Channel? Is the History Channel? Still? Like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's a great mindless entertainment and learn some facts about antiques. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's great. We have to take a quick break, but

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Speaker 1: when we come back, I want to talk more about

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Speaker 1: social media and if any of the TV shows you've

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Speaker 1: binged over the pandemic have helped you in being more creative.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back. Do you think shows have been

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Speaker 1: helpful maybe subconsciously relaxed so you can get more creative. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that works for me quite a bit. I

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Speaker 1: do think there's a fine line though, some because sometimes

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Speaker 1: TV shows for me has also been like a form

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Speaker 1: of escapism that I think there is like an unhealthy

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Speaker 1: thing there some shows where you're like, I just don't

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Speaker 1: want to deal with whatever. Um, and so I think

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Speaker 1: that's the thing that you know, I've just you just

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Speaker 1: have to check in with yourself on is like am

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Speaker 1: I watching this because I just need a break from

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Speaker 1: Like I just need thirty minutes from my own mind.

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Speaker 1: I need to watch Jessica Day deal with her fake

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Speaker 1: like TV life and I can or is this like?

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Speaker 1: Or am I like avoiding something? And I think the

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Speaker 1: avoidance is like it's always hard because it's so easy

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Speaker 1: to avoid things. But um, it's funny. I my friend

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Speaker 1: gave me a philosophy book to read the other day,

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Speaker 1: and I read it as a way to wind down

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Speaker 1: because I hadn't I haven't read a lot of philosophy

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Speaker 1: other than my existentialists bros who I write songs about

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Speaker 1: or with like inspired by since Um and this one

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Speaker 1: was kind of about the mind body thing and that

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Speaker 1: was really relaxing. So I think it really can be

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Speaker 1: anything that just feels like this is taking me out

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Speaker 1: of whatever situation that i'm and that's that's been my

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Speaker 1: experience recently. I saw you, I think it was in

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Speaker 1: February or early March, and in this I know and

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Speaker 1: I remember then I was in such a creative rhet

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Speaker 1: and I remember talking to you about it because I

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Speaker 1: had just applied to college. I did the entire season

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Speaker 1: of the podcast. From my goodness, it was a lot,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so glad, like because now we're here, you're here, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like so you know what you're doing a little know

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Speaker 1: it worked out like it was all the unknown then

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Speaker 1: right now things have figured out a little more in

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Speaker 1: my life. But I remember I was in such a

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Speaker 1: creative run and that is such a discouraging feeling. And

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's not talked about enough because I

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Speaker 1: remember I looked up YouTube videos what to do if

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Speaker 1: you're in a creative rhet and frankly, you don't know

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Speaker 1: when it's going to come back, when you're gonna feel

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Speaker 1: o rejuvenated. Have you ever been in that situation, what

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Speaker 1: do you do and when you're just can't come up

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Speaker 1: with those lyrics or you can't you don't your batteries drained. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a great question, and I ink I do think

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Speaker 1: that the pandemic exacerbated all of that for for all

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Speaker 1: of us who are kind of in these creative fields.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know a lot of my friends were like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm just drained, and I think it's Zoom.

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Speaker 1: I think Zoom is the big drainer. But that's another

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Speaker 1: ranch with you. I completely agree with you. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: what I think that's what it is. Like the nature

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Speaker 1: of the time, it just was emotionally draining. I mean

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Speaker 1: not just our country, but the world went through hell.

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Speaker 1: I mean it was just like and then we're still

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Speaker 1: in it. Yeah, And I think there is a light

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Speaker 1: at the end of the tunnel. I absolutely do, and

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Speaker 1: I hold on to that. But and it's just so hard.

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Speaker 1: So I think we have to give ourselves like grace

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Speaker 1: and that it's like, which is so hard because like

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Speaker 1: I'm such an achieveril we really are, Um, I just

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Speaker 1: I have to have had to come to this point

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Speaker 1: where I'm like it's okay that I haven't it. And

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Speaker 1: I did come out with an ep and of a pandemic. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: it has been so good. It's been so good. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like, as achievers, you know this that there will

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Speaker 1: never be a moment where we're like satisfied, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just don't think that's going to be our reality.

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Speaker 1: And then throw a global pandemic on top of that

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Speaker 1: and you're just you know, it's hard, but I think

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Speaker 1: for me, I've had to endlist some resources to help

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Speaker 1: me process. I'm started reading this book called The Artist Way.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever heard about it? It's I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I've just I've actually just started it, and it's, um

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Speaker 1: this woman named Julia Cameron, and she's inspired a lot

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Speaker 1: of Like there's some famous people that she has helped

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Speaker 1: get through I'm forgetting and forgetting I should look at

416
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Speaker 1: my book. But basically she just has this thing called

417
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Speaker 1: daily or morning Pages, where you like you write down

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Speaker 1: extreme of consciousness, whatever comes to your head and you

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Speaker 1: don't judge yourself. So like, as a songwriter especially, I'm

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Speaker 1: like which words work, and like when you're in when

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Speaker 1: you're collaborating with other people, you're like, oh, I have

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Speaker 1: this idea but I'm really afraid to say it because

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Speaker 1: what if they don't like it? And she's like, it's

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Speaker 1: all about like confronting your inner critic and just saying no,

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Speaker 1: you don't get to have to say here. So that's

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Speaker 1: been really helpful for me. It's just like getting the

427
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 1: ideas out on paper and not listening to that internal

428
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: judge voice that I have. And then she has like

429
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: another thing called the artist state, where you just go

430
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: out and take yourself out to a museum or you

431
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 1: bake something. She's like, it can be even yeah, and

432
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: just like enjoy the experience of that and let that

433
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: fuel you. So as I've kind of like experienced maybe

434
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 1: a little bit of healing from this kind of creative

435
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: route that I was in, I've I've found myself writing

436
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: songs that I'm like, yeah, that's that's what I needed

437
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 1: to write about. That's what I'm going through, and that

438
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: feels right. That's so awesome to be able to have

439
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 1: an outlet like that and that that that's the power

440
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 1: of music. Is that what you're going through, so many

441
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,920
Speaker 1: other people are and it just makes you feel not alone.

442
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 1: We've been through a global pandemic as year and a half.

443
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: Our lives have been substantially changed. I had my entire

444
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 1: senior year online. Oh my gosh, on zoom, you haven't

445
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: been able to perform right? How are you? How are

446
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 1: you doing? Just I think we need to talk about that.

447
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: We're in general, it's not talked about like how are

448
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: you doing? Mentally? Are you coming out of it? Are

449
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 1: you still in it? How are you? It's a good question,

450
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 1: thank you for asking, of course, and not just like

451
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 1: the how are you doing? Oh I'm good? Like how

452
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 1: are you actually doing? You know, Sammy I And this

453
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 1: is a little heavy, but you know this we talked

454
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 1: to the other day on the phone. But um, I

455
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 1: think it's about like eleven weeks ago, now, ten weeks ago,

456
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: I lost my dad, not to covid um, but I

457
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 1: lost him suddenly and unexpectedly, and it's been horrible. I mean,

458
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 1: like I told the story about him earlier, like he

459
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: was so good and while I'm so grateful that I

460
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 1: had twenty six years with an amazing father, like it's

461
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 1: just it's just this such a big hole in my life.

462
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 1: So now I feel like I'm kind of just grieving

463
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: and going through a really personal and deep grief on

464
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 1: top of the pandemic. But in some ways, like you know,

465
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,719
Speaker 1: we're all grieving. We're all grieving, and I've had so

466
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 1: many friends lose people like grandparents are and maybe I'm

467
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: just more aware of it now than I was in

468
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 1: the past, but I really do feel like there's just

469
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: been such a hard, such a hard year and a

470
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 1: half for so many people. And so yeah, so I'm

471
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: you know, I have a lot of like hope right

472
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: now about moving through this and moving forward and keep going.

473
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: My last conversation with my dad, he told me I

474
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: was probably like freaking out about something regarding the music business,

475
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: and he just said, it's just like keep going. You

476
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,400
Speaker 1: got this, so it'll all work out. You got this.

477
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: And so I'm really just trying to hold onto that,

478
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: you know, I feel I feel him a lot when

479
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: I when I am writing or playing music. I'm going

480
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 1: on tour this fall, and he loved I met him

481
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 1: on tour that when I met you too, yes, and

482
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,719
Speaker 1: and that was just like he he just loved it.

483
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 1: And so I I'm excited to do that and and yeah,

484
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: so it's like both I think a lot of life.

485
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: What I'm learning is like there's this guy named Frederick

486
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 1: Beeckner who says, in this life I'm paraphrasing, but in

487
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 1: this life, beautiful and terrible things will happen, but don't

488
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 1: be afraid. And I'd say that's just what it is,

489
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 1: you know. It's like life is, at the same time,

490
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: sometimes within the same day, really horrible and really hard

491
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 1: and really wonderful and beautiful. And so I think learning

492
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 1: to live in that tension is is what it's about,

493
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: and finding the joy within the little things too, which

494
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 1: can be It's it's all about the way I think

495
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 1: you look at the world and you can portray you

496
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: can find a negative of anything, and you can find

497
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: it positive in anything. Yes, And we should strive to

498
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,880
Speaker 1: find the positive and more yes, yes, and live in that,

499
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 1: you know, because I think if you look throughout history

500
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: and people, it's like that is what gets you through that,

501
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: what that's what makes you fight for another day is

502
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: the hope of something else exactly, and just surrounding yourself

503
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 1: with people that you love and doing what you love

504
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: and you still get to go on tour. Oh my gosh,

505
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: are you so excited. I'm so excited. What was Do

506
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: you remember the last live show you performed at Oh goodness,

507
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: I think so it was. Yeah, it was with James Arthur.

508
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: I was opening for James Arthur on that run. We've

509
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: played the Troubadour here and I like, I'm obsessed with

510
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 1: that venue. Yeah, so incredible, So that one really stands

511
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: out and people are playing shows and it's just so

512
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,479
Speaker 1: great to see it. It is weird. It's weird. We

513
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: were talking about this, like, it's definitely a different dynamic

514
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: and people are trying their best to be safe and

515
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: it's back but it's you know, it's just in its

516
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,959
Speaker 1: own variation and it's a very it is a variation. Um,

517
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: but I'll take anything. Yeah, as long as it's not unzoomed.

518
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm thinking the first live event it was with you.

519
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 1: It was the Rooftop that was like our low key

520
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: like save Yeah, everyone was wearing math. Everyone was still

521
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: great though, because I was like Ben shout out to

522
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: Ben Farber. Yeah, it was like I forgot. I was like, man,

523
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: this is what live music is like. It just brings

524
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: people together and that's what music does. Yeah, yeah, and

525
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: it Yeah, it's the most I think that's the most

526
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: beautiful thing about music, honestly, is that you can come

527
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: from completely different countries, completely different backgrounds, different languages, worldviews,

528
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: and come together and just be in that moment. I

529
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: think that's especially in the world we have of so

530
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: much tension animosity towards each other, being able to have

531
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 1: a night where literally like an hour and a half,

532
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: an hour and a half is all you need. You're

533
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: all together and you're just in the moment, enjoying it,

534
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: enjoying it. There's not worrying about what work you have

535
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: to do tomorrow, about the day you've had. But this

536
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: guy thinks, sir, you're just living your best life. Yeah,

537
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: it's really special, to be honest. My favorite answered, so

538
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: when you don't have your phone out videotaping it, can

539
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: we talk about that. I'm very conflicted. Okay, here's my perspective. Okay,

540
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: when I was I think I was ten or eleven,

541
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 1: I saw I saw Maroon five, Okay, getting I'm getting

542
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: it was in mask and Square Garden. We somehow got

543
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: floor seats. It was like the best thing ever. And

544
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 1: I remember so specifically Adam Bean said, everybody, I want

545
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: you to stop videotaping. I want you to put away

546
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: your phones and just live in the moment. And there

547
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: was this girl that was still videotaping, and he took

548
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: her home, put it on the stage. He goes, I'll

549
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: give it back to you after the set. And then

550
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: and I was like, man, this is actually really great

551
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: because though I wish I could have this to look

552
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: back on my phone, I'm going to have this in

553
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: my memories of just living in the moment. And this

554
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 1: was what now, nine years ago, and I still have

555
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 1: specifically that moment in my head. It's not recorded, and

556
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: I think that's what's great about it. Though I want

557
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 1: a videotaped look at, sometimes the memories are better at

558
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: my opinion, what's your take on it? You know? I

559
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: think for me as an artist, as a performer, I'm

560
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: fine with it at my shows because I want people

561
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 1: to do what they want to do and and like,

562
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: this might sound really weird, but this is called the

563
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: Let's Be Real podcast, so I'm gonna be real. But

564
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: like it is, it does help me sometimes, like when

565
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: people post about my music at this point because I'm

566
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: still at such an early stage. But I do like

567
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: when when I go to the shows, I'm often like

568
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 1: playing out my phone because I want to be like,

569
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 1: I want to post it and like, look where I

570
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: first instincts now, isn't that so weird we think about it?

571
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: That's what's weird to me. That's what I have to

572
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 1: confront myself. I thought about it like that brand, that's weird.

573
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: But like I don't think we should like we should

574
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: have grace first else than that as well. But it's

575
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: just like no, But the fact that our first instinct now,

576
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: now that I'm looking back, I'm analyzing my entire life.

577
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: The fact that our first instinct now is to not

578
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: enjoy what we're doing but tell people about it is

579
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 1: really interesting. And it's that whole social media experiment that

580
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: bucks with my mind. Do you ever see the social dilemma? Oh?

581
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't speak for like three days after

582
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: I saw that. I have my phone out of my

583
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: social media app. Notification is still off from that, I'm

584
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: proud of you. I'm proud of myself too for that

585
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: and it's helped a lot. So what I recommend everybody

586
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: take off the notifications from Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, anything.

587
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: I only have it on for Gmail incredible, So you're

588
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: not tempted. You go on the apps when you want,

589
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: not when something alerts you it will help. See. I

590
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 1: love that, and I love that you watch that that

591
00:33:55,920 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: documentary and you made a very like practical, yes, conscious

592
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: next step towards your own mental health. Because I think

593
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 1: I think that was my experience watching the documentary and

594
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 1: I loved it, but I was also like, oh my gosh,

595
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: like it was very doomsday, and I was like, because

596
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 1: it is. Yes, it hit too close to home, so close,

597
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 1: so close, and it's succeeeing, even like the footage of

598
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 1: the fourteen year old girl and and the like the

599
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: rise of anxiety and depression and suicide. All of that

600
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: stuff was so heavy. Um and and so I think,

601
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: but I think what you did was so good is like,

602
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 1: let's make a conscious decision to to change something about

603
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 1: my interaction with it. I think that, I honestly think

604
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 1: that is the path forward. And that's why I talk

605
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: about it so much in my music as well, because

606
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just it affects me, and so I

607
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: talk about it. But it's like social media is not evil,

608
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: it's a neutral space, but the way that we interact

609
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: with it can be so healthy or not healthy. Yeah. Yeah,

610
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: And so having those having these discussions, having conversation about it.

611
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 1: I think that's the way. I hope so, and I

612
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: think especially when people who have a big following time

613
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 1: but like, man, this is not what I look like.

614
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 1: This is from like a shoe from like this is

615
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 1: that I'm in my pajamas. We have to take one

616
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: more quick break. But when we come back, let's talk

617
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: about the perils of growing a social media following. And

618
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: I also want to talk to you about your EP

619
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: Can I be real, which I am obsessed with. We'll

620
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: be right back. It's so interesting and I for someone

621
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: who has anxiety, it's can be so toxic so fast,

622
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: and I'm in this in between stage, which I feel

623
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: like this isn't talked about. I'm building up my career right,

624
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm trying to thank you. I'm trying to think of

625
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: it as more of a business. But it's so hard

626
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: because at the same time, I'm a nineteen year old

627
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: girl being on social media. They're the same pressures. Yet

628
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to grow a following in order and that

629
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 1: somehow is my worth how many followers I have, And

630
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: that's what companies look at. And I understand that because

631
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: it's a business, but it's really hard sometimes and it's

632
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: personal because it's you. It's like a business, but it's

633
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 1: also you. It is it's not like another sort of

634
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: like off side nail. Yeah, it's polish. Are you are?

635
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: And it's finding that balance between having the difference of Okay,

636
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: is this my worth? Is this really all that I'm worth?

637
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: And it's having to separate that, like, no, there are

638
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: two separate things. How have you dealt with that? Because

639
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,919
Speaker 1: I know I'm sure you've had similar people have told

640
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 1: you said yes, yes, and again I totally understand what

641
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 1: they're saying, um, and I want to be I want

642
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 1: to be there for that. I want to build. That's

643
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: why sometimes at concerts, I do, you know, say like

644
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: I'm here at this cool thing, or like you know,

645
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: like if you do make those decisions and you do

646
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: want to promote what you're doing and put yourself out there,

647
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 1: and I you best believe I'm on TikTok every day,

648
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: you know, just going for it. But I think that, yeah,

649
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: it's it is a question of worth and I think

650
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 1: it's I think it's like and I wish it wasn't too.

651
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 1: I really, I really wish I could mentally separate the two.

652
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 1: But it's sometimes I don't know if it's being a

653
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: teenage girl. I don't know if it's being in the

654
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 1: entertainment industry. But I'm learning and I go through phases

655
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: of it like Okay, how do I find a balance

656
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: of what's good for my mental health to say off it?

657
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 1: Because again, comparing yourself, I just that's what ends up happening.

658
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: But also having to continue it. Yeah, yeah, having to

659
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 1: keep going and posting, and yeah, I mean, well, first

660
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: of all, I think that the fact that you're even

661
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 1: having the conversation and you're even naming that this is

662
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: how you feel, is like it's honestly such a big

663
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: part of it. I feel like this part isn't talked

664
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,760
Speaker 1: about when people it should be talking. It's not talked

665
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 1: about it should be. And I think, like for me,

666
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: it's like I have so much I want to do.

667
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: I would love like a million followers right now, like

668
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: life a lot easier in a lot of ways. I

669
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: feel like, yeah, it would just be great. But even then,

670
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: you know, then it's like even like the set of

671
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 1: problems and there will never be a moment where it's like,

672
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: all right, I'm good, you know. I think even when

673
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 1: you have all of that you're still going to have

674
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: to deal with your the worst thing. And I think

675
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: that it's about knowing waking up and knowing like I

676
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: think you do is so good for the world, you know,

677
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 1: like having on his conversations is really good for the world.

678
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 1: And even if it doesn't feel like you know, this

679
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: big thing I know for me, like writing a song

680
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: that means something to me that I feel like it's

681
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: going to help someone, Like I think that at the

682
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: end of the day is all we have. It just

683
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 1: like am I waking up doing my best contributing something good? Yeah,

684
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: and knowing that that's it. Doesn't the numbers will be

685
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 1: there or they won't. But I woke up and I

686
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: did something today. I think it's a little like nicely

687
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: put no, but it's it's true, and it's a it's

688
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: an interesting balance. And when I frankly, I've wanted you

689
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: on the pod for a minute now, right when I

690
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 1: think perform a Microsoft theater, I don't pitch the idea,

691
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: and I said, what do you come on? You're like,

692
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 1: of course, and like so this is a full circle.

693
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 1: It's happening. But when I found out that your new

694
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: EP was called can I be realized like, could this

695
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: be better? But chills? Okay, I would like to say,

696
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: tell me, I'm pretty yeah, it's all about this, but

697
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: we're talking about First of all, it's a bob. Thank you,

698
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: it's a bob. I was listening to it when I

699
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 1: was in the shower. I was like, this is good

700
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: Bob day. I know you're so honest in your songwriting.

701
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:31,320
Speaker 1: How did that song come about? That's a that's a

702
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 1: that's a real one. Um. Yeah, So it was a

703
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: couple of things. I wrote down the lyrics maybe I'm

704
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: worth more than some numbers or a score, which is

705
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 1: exactly what we're I mean there it is. Um. I

706
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 1: wrote that down in college because there was a scandal

707
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 1: with the harvardman's soccer team where they had a group

708
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: chat rating freshman women. But like to me, they were

709
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: like girls like still yeah, um the incoming yeah, the

710
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: incoming class on their physical attractiveness hotness, like literally giving

711
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 1: these women a number and then describing you know, horrific,

712
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 1: just like horrible things said about these women exposed to

713
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,879
Speaker 1: the group chat. I want to know that. I don't know.

714
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: To this day, I'm not sure. Um, but some of

715
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: my friends it was they were. I think they were

716
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 1: juniors or seniors by the time it all came out.

717
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: But for me, it just like not being part of it,

718
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 1: but just kind of watching it unfold. And like some

719
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: of the of my friends they wrote this incredible op

720
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 1: ed in the newspaper about like how like why did

721
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: we get here? The kind of thing. It's just like

722
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: the whole thing, And then I just thought about how

723
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 1: they must have felt and saw some of them yeah

724
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,359
Speaker 1: kind of like go through it. But at the same time,

725
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 1: I was also going through like the whole social media

726
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 1: thing and like still I'm you know, we're all still

727
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 1: going through that. But I is like feeling really awkward

728
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: about myself online and just um and was having was

729
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 1: still doing music, so it was like having to post

730
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: for that and and then when you're your own brand too,

731
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: and when your own brand and here, and I was

732
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: like the whole body positivity conversation wasn't happening quite yet,

733
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 1: so I was like I felt weird about my body,

734
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 1: and so I just I just like I was like,

735
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: as women, can we just not be reduced to this thing?

736
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 1: Can we just be like can you just care about yeah,

737
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: can you care about what's in my brain for just

738
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 1: a second, like you know, and just take me seriously

739
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: what I have to contribute. Yeah, and and also like beauty,

740
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: this concept of beauty is so and we have just

741
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: made it about these like particular standards that like someone

742
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 1: probably a dude, no or who knows. Honestly, I'm sure

743
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 1: there's like a whole history thing there, but like reinforced

744
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: by this, like obviously what you know, these women had

745
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: gone through by dudes, the objectifying thing. And then, um,

746
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: basically so I wrote down in my lyric notebook that lyric.

747
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 1: And I always knew that I wanted it to become

748
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,879
Speaker 1: a song. And I never, like, I wrote songs other

749
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: songs about the internet and stuff, but I never like

750
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:26,280
Speaker 1: landed on that topic until three years later I met

751
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: a songwriter named Michelle Buzz. She goes by Buzz, but

752
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: I called Michelle. What a great name, what an incredible name.

753
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: Incredible name she's releasing at right now, Um yeah, that's

754
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 1: her actual name. About Michelle, Michelle Buzz. She's releasing new

755
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: music really soon and everyone should listen to it because

756
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: she's incredible and and talks about these things she's so

757
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,800
Speaker 1: good at talking about like the real stuff and anyway,

758
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: So I just met her day one. Why and I

759
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: think this is why we became best friends. Was we

760
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 1: were like man being a woman in the music industry,

761
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: like bro, Like we really went there and talked about

762
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: how I talked about this of like if I post

763
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: as a as a you know, aspiring songwriter, sporing artist,

764
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: if I post a picture without makeup all the time,

765
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: like is that going to gain me new followers? Or

766
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: do I need to post like the like the sexy

767
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: stuff because that gets you followers. And that was a

768
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 1: hard truth like we had we were like whoa, and

769
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:31,919
Speaker 1: so we just really really we laid it on thick

770
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: and um, we had a session with the Monarch, this

771
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 1: producer brother producer duo and they were really like pumped

772
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: about the idea or Michelle and I just like we

773
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: were like, we have to write a song about this,

774
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 1: and so we did and tell me I'm pretty was

775
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: what came from that. And so I'm very grateful. I was.

776
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: Actually I've been in rehearsals for the past week for

777
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:59,959
Speaker 1: this Young Girl and um, that song, it's so fun

778
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: to play. What would you say the hardest part of

779
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: being a female in the music industry is well, I

780
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: wonder if it's that. I wonder if it's that, you know,

781
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: because I think I think even like Billie Eilish has

782
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 1: talked about it a lot recently with her new stuff

783
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,279
Speaker 1: of just like, you know, you have to you have

784
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 1: to pick a lane, like of like, but I think,

785
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 1: but I also I also don't think you give to

786
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: pick lane. I think as a as a woman, you're

787
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: going to feel those pressures of like which angle do

788
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 1: I go down? Which? And I think you just have

789
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: to silence all of that, like Billy's doing, you know,

790
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:40,800
Speaker 1: like and just do what feels right for you. Social

791
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 1: media is just they take the human out of a

792
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:51,439
Speaker 1: person where we forget they cry like they're just yeah,

793
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 1: we're all we're all human, you know, And I feel

794
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: like that should be celebrated. And keep in mind everyone

795
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 1: has her insecurities. Oh yeah. If you say you're not

796
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 1: and you don't have insecurities, then you're lying exactly. Instagram

797
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 1: social media's a picture perfect world. Can't say it enough.

798
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 1: I can't say it enough. I'm insecure to post photos

799
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 1: when my acne is bad or when I feel not good.

800
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: You know, I wish that wasn't the case. Yeah, I know,

801
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,359
Speaker 1: but there's something about it. There's something about it. But

802
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 1: I think that's what's so special about your music in particular,

803
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 1: because there are so many, so few people that really

804
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 1: dig into our insecurities, really dig into that, because it's

805
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: a stigma that it shouldn't be. So I applaud you

806
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: for just being so authentic in your writing and in

807
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,400
Speaker 1: who you are. And though I know it can be

808
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 1: really hard, I'm sure with people comparing themselves, like, keep

809
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 1: doing what you're doing because I look up to you

810
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:56,240
Speaker 1: a lot. Thanks. I look up to you for talking

811
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: about it. It's so exciting to talk about it. And

812
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: so yeah, it's it's not it's not often, and I'm

813
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 1: so glad that we can just like have a conversation

814
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,359
Speaker 1: and not where it's not media trained and the same thing.

815
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: But like, yeah, man, life has been rough, and that's okay,

816
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 1: that's okay, that's part of it. You believe through a pandemic.

817
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 1: Be nice to yourself. Be nice to yourself exactly and

818
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 1: to others. And please follow brand on Instagram. Listen to

819
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 1: her ep can I be real? It's so fitting. I

820
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: was when I was listening to some of the songs,

821
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,399
Speaker 1: I was like, man, this is important that it's out,

822
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: and so I'm so glad it is and I'm so

823
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: excited for when new music. And I'm going to see

824
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 1: you live. Yes, You're awesome live, by the way, but

825
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 1: I've seen you twice one of the Microsoft Theater and

826
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 1: ar thresh Kid's Day. Yes, both such fun day as well.

827
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,280
Speaker 1: I remember when I first when I started the Microsoft Theaters,

828
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 1: like this girl is a bad as Thank you? That

829
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 1: was like our first show. Yeah, that was a fun night.

830
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: Pink suit, bring it back? You think I should bring

831
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 1: it back? Oh? Interesting, Why wouldn't you? I don't know,

832
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,720
Speaker 1: but this is one of the one of my things.

833
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 1: I'm like suit, I love a lavender, right, and we

834
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 1: should bring them back just like since they are I

835
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: feel I love they're powerful and are they more comfortable

836
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 1: to performance? Absolutely, because they're like usually like yeah, the

837
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 1: fabrics like louse and I love a suit. Who does.

838
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll bring it back. Let's bring it back. You

839
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: can wear the merch with a shirt on it. I say,

840
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: that's your style for story. I love it. I love it.

841
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to hire you a stylist. Hey, I'm here,

842
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 1: I'm in californ I love in California. Oh my god,

843
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 1: that's so weird. How does that feel? I don't know.

844
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,399
Speaker 1: I love that, okay, because you're like you're like New York,

845
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: like you're That's where I've lived my entire life. So

846
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: are you going to like own the bicoastal thing or

847
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: are you going to commit Okay because no matter what,

848
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 1: my dogs there and Okay, well saying goodbye to him, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know wherever the dog is is where home is exactly.

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Speaker 1: That's what I say. He needs to come to California.

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00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:20,760
Speaker 1: But thank you Brent for coming on. Thank you guys

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00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 1: so much for listening to this week's episode of The

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00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 1: Left Bireau Podcast. If you haven't already, follow Brin on Instagram,

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00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: It's Bryn Elliott. Follow her TikTok, listen to Can I

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00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: Be Real? It's She's just such an incredible artist and

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00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 1: I love talking to her brand. Thank you again for

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00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 1: coming on my podcast, and if you haven't already, makes

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00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,280
Speaker 1: sure you subscribe, leave a comment about something you liked

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00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 1: or any other guests you want on, and don't forget

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Speaker 1: to follow me on Instagram at It's Sammy J. That's

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00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: I T S S A M M Y J. A

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Speaker 1: y e. Alright, guys, I will see you next time.