1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: Our favorite intimacy expert, Susan Braddon is back. 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 2: Hi Susan, Hi, cutie pause. I really nice to see 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 2: you both today. 4 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 3: We're so happy to have you back. 5 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: I was thinking as I was trapping for this podcast, 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 1: nothing like a little sex talk over coffee, you know, 7 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: sex and coffee. 8 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 2: You know. 9 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 4: It's funny because the world has been so heavy lately 10 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 4: that our podcast sort of took a turn. And Kelly 11 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,959 Speaker 4: and I were talking, We're like, we need to lighten 12 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 4: this stuff up, and she was like, what about we 13 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 4: get Susan back when we talked about this and talk. 14 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: There we go. 15 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 3: Now we're talking. 16 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: Well, when I initially reached out to you to come 17 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: back on the podcast, I was telling you that we're 18 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: kind of doing the focus on mental health awareness months 19 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: and I really like Chip and I were talking. I 20 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 1: find sex and intimacy to be such an important part 21 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: of mental and emotional health, yet it doesn't seem like something. 22 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 3: We absolutely talk about a lot. 23 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 1: Can you speak to that a little bit, like just 24 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: the importance of sex and intimacy for our mental health? 25 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, there's two things that come immediately to mind. 26 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 2: I mean I could probably do I could probably do 27 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 2: a two hour monologue on all the reasons why you 28 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,839 Speaker 2: want to keep attention on your sex life, especially when 29 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 2: you're feeling anxious, depressed, et cetera. But there's two big 30 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,960 Speaker 2: things that come to mind. Okay, the very first one 31 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 2: is physiological, which is that when you have an I'm 32 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 2: going to say, when you have orgasms, it reboots your 33 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 2: nervous system. And a lot of sexperts will say, take 34 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 2: the focus off of orgasm, just enjoy the pleasure. And 35 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 2: I really call malarkey on that, because orgasms are just 36 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 2: learned skills and if you think, oh, I'm just not 37 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 2: the kind of person who can have that, then all 38 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 2: of a sudden, you are, you know, not even trying anymore. Yeah, 39 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 2: and I got to switch my position here. I'm icing 40 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 2: my knee. I had a skiing. 41 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 3: Accident, and I have a sex injury. I never know 42 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 3: what you. 43 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 2: Honestly, it is making my it's making my it's putting 44 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 2: a crimp in my sex position. 45 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 3: I know that bullshit. 46 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I have to be I'm like an 47 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 2: one hundred year old lady in bed last night. I 48 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,359 Speaker 2: want to tell you about the super hot sex state 49 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 2: I have with my husband. But I'll answer your question. First, 50 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,119 Speaker 2: I was wiggling around and you can hear the eyes. 51 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 3: I'm making a note, so we don't forget that. 52 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:36,519 Speaker 2: So Number one thing is that sex orgasms are a 53 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 2: learned skill. So if you don't think you can have them, 54 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: if you get this in your mind. Honestly, it's a 55 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 2: mindset issue more than it is anything else. Orgasm, and 56 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 2: so if you know what to do and you believe 57 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 2: you can do it, you will do it, and you 58 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 2: can have all the twenty kinds of orgasms that the 59 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 2: male and female body, that the almost that we Homo 60 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 2: sapiens can have. And the best thing about having sex 61 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 2: is having orgasms. However you do it. It doesn't have 62 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 2: to be through penetration. It can be anything, use your vibrators, 63 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 2: solo pleasuring, and when you do it reboots your nervous system. 64 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 2: It's literally like pushing the reset button. And when it 65 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 2: floods you with all those feel good neuro transmitters and 66 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: you get that endocrine cascade and you get that literal 67 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 2: reboot to your system, it just makes you have a 68 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 2: better reset. Now that being said, there are some people 69 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 2: who are literally too depressed or too anxious to enjoy intimacy. 70 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 2: So I definitely understand that it's not available to everyone 71 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 2: that's listening, but if you have the possibility to have pleasure, 72 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 2: I really want to encourage you to try to find 73 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 2: a path to take it because it is singularly one 74 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 2: of the best things that and walks in nature and 75 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 2: healthy food and quality water and you know, just movement, nutrition, 76 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 2: self care and self care includes hashtag self care down there, 77 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 2: so it's really really important. And then the second piece 78 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: of it is that when you have intimacy, and you 79 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 2: have intimacy with a partner, it brings you closer. It's 80 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 2: an emotional bonding opportunity, and it gives you practice at 81 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:34,119 Speaker 2: opening your heart and connecting with others, and that makes 82 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 2: you feel less alone and less like you're in your 83 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 2: particular soup. You know that you're in your emotional soup. 84 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 2: And so it's really those two reasons that I think 85 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,039 Speaker 2: are the biggest ones. The hormone cascade and the feeling 86 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,719 Speaker 2: closer and connected the reboot and the endercrine cascade, the 87 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 2: body base and then the heart based the emotion based 88 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 2: piece of it, and they really are two sides of 89 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 2: the same coin. And if you take away having sex 90 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 2: from the notion that it means intercourse, because that's a 91 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 2: very kind of patriarchal religious orientation. 92 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 5: Sexes for procreational or burning owl. If you don't do it, 93 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:22,480 Speaker 5: if you do anything else masturbational making, you grow in 94 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 5: your palms. 95 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,239 Speaker 2: I'm trying to sound like the freakiest person I possibly. 96 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 2: You know, that's all bull everything, everything's included. It's ai 97 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 2: always included, and uh so whatever. Your path to pleasure 98 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 2: and connection is connection to yourself above all, and connection 99 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 2: to a partner if you're lucky to have one, just 100 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 2: start baby steps, you know. It's interesting. One of the 101 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,479 Speaker 2: programs that I that I have that I published because 102 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 2: I'm a publisher of Passionate Love Making Techniques and Bedroom 103 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 2: Communication Skills is a program that is primarily targeted to men. 104 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 2: It's called the Seduction Trilogy. Seducer Tonight, the Seduction Accelerator 105 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: and how to Be Her Sexual Trainer, How to help 106 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 2: your partner overcome all of the societal down line crapola. 107 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 2: We've been fed about being sluts if we're you know, 108 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 2: sexy and all this kind of stuff. And the skill 109 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 2: that it teaches, the single skill that it teaches is 110 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 2: this notion of running small offers because men are generally 111 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 2: hornier than women right at the outset. They've got a 112 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 2: lot of testosterone, they masturbate ono daily, they get really 113 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 2: fast erections where women don't have any of those particular things. 114 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 2: In large measure, that's a tinier amount for us, and 115 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 2: so we're not as like ready to go, and so 116 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 2: we have to help our guys slow down and turn 117 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 2: around and come back and get us. And sex can 118 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 2: seem like an insurmountable chore for us when we're not 119 00:06:56,279 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 2: turned on yet. And so I teach men this, I 120 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 2: call it. It's actually at more sexmoreoten dot com. You might 121 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 2: want to put that in the notes more sex more often, 122 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,919 Speaker 2: because that's what guys want. They want more sex more often, 123 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 2: and like make it simple. And it really teaches this 124 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 2: idea of how do you make a woman small offers? 125 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 2: And I think when people have anxiety, when they have depression, 126 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 2: they could get there if we took more time making 127 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 2: smaller offers of pleasure to our partners. And so in 128 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 2: that book, it teaches you a bunch of ideas of 129 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 2: what smaller offers are and why that's so important. And 130 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 2: that's a free download actually that's a free kind of 131 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 2: introduction to the Seduction trilogy that your listeners can just 132 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 2: go and get more sex more often. And I think 133 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 2: that of all things, because performance anxiety is the number 134 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 2: one thing that everybody struggles with around the intersection of 135 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 2: you know, their emotional mental situation and their actual in 136 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 2: the set time in the saddle if you. 137 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: Will, Yeah, I mean you're touching on basically all the 138 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: topics I wanted to touch on. 139 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 3: Which is great. 140 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: But because I do look at the mental health piece 141 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: as it relates to sex and intimacy as those two 142 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: different issues, it's like the one part of it is 143 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: it's a basic human need and like I do feel 144 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: like societally we're starting to discuss that more openly, but 145 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: for so long, just as you're saying, especially for women, 146 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: it's been very taboo to talk about, and so we 147 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: kind of file it into this box that's not really 148 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: that important for our survival, when in reality, it really is, 149 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: Like it's a major pleasure point, which you touched on 150 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: a lot in the last podcast, but I hear you 151 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: even talking today about mentally, like all the chemicals that 152 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 1: are released so emotionally for our nervous system like a 153 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: really a deep way to reset. I really think that 154 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: that's true. But then on the other side of it, 155 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: if you're in a hard place, going through life transitions 156 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: or stress, or maybe you've had a or anything like that, 157 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: it does seem like our mental and emotional state can 158 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:09,559 Speaker 1: kind of block us to sexual intimacy, either with ourselves 159 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: or with a partner. So I love that you're touching 160 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: on ways that a man can help a woman maybe 161 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: kind of reconnect to that. Are there other tips that 162 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: come to minds immediately for you for all of us 163 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,320 Speaker 1: with that, Like if we're going through you know, I 164 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 1: think the whole world went through a really hard time 165 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: during the pandemic and things like that, Like what are 166 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:34,839 Speaker 1: ways that we can help ourselves get to the place 167 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 1: of intimacy when we're going through stressful times? 168 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, because I want to add to that question too, 169 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,319 Speaker 4: because when I'm you know, one thing that would concern 170 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 4: me if I were in a relationship with someone that 171 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 4: was in a dark place is how to not make 172 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 4: it feel like you're being selfish, Like it's something that 173 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 4: you want, Like, how do you make sure that you're 174 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 4: communicating in a way that it's about actually pulling them 175 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,720 Speaker 4: out of a hole versus you just getting. 176 00:09:58,520 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 3: Your rock soft, getting your needs. 177 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Well that goes back to the 178 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 2: smaller offers kind of thing and extending for play in 179 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 2: ways that And I don't even like the term for 180 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 2: play and sex because it goes back to that whole 181 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 2: patriarchal construct of sex is just intercourse and everything has 182 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 2: to lead up to it. So I think I would 183 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 2: like to tell you about the sex date that I 184 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 2: had last night with certainly my husband of thirty years 185 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 2: next month. Oh my god, yeah, good for you. And man, 186 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 2: was it good last night. I'm literally right now, I'm 187 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 2: taking off her sweater right now, she's sweating. I got all. 188 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 3: Excited, I got a flash. I'm like, okay, geez. 189 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 2: This is not a strip tea. This is like my fear. 190 00:10:54,480 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 2: So last night we started almost all of my love 191 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 2: making dates now start with rubbing pain cream into something. 192 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 3: I'd see whatever it takes. At sixty one, Yes. 193 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 2: Sometimes things hurt because I work out every day, so 194 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 2: I'm actually on my I'm in my workout clothes, icing 195 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 2: my knee on my way to work out. When we're 196 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 2: done recording this podcast. 197 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: You should know that chips side text me and said, 198 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: she looks amazing, amazing, whatever worse. 199 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 2: It's a it's a lot of orgasms, exercise cryout, red 200 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 2: light and vasper. It's like an exer it's like an 201 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 2: exer bike kind of thing that uses blood flow restriction 202 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 2: that holds more lactic acid in your limbs. So that 203 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 2: and it cools you down and you do high intensity 204 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 2: inner training and you can train harder because you're cooler, 205 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 2: and the lactic acid build up that you get is 206 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 2: greater than working out for an hour or an hour 207 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 2: and a half, and you do it in twenty minutes. 208 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 2: I do it after my workout. And then the lactic 209 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:19,319 Speaker 2: acid signals the pituitary gland to release an endocrin cascade 210 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 2: of growth hormone, testosterone, all feel good neurotransmitters, et cetera. 211 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 2: And that lays down more muscle all over your body. 212 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 2: And it doesn't rip things up to build them afresh 213 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:41,199 Speaker 2: like weightlifting does. It's not hormesis. It's just new muscle tissue. 214 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 2: And I'll tell you something last night, and I want 215 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,679 Speaker 2: to skip too far into the hot sex day, but 216 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 2: last night I was calgirl style on Sir Tim and 217 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 2: because I had this interesting experience. I want to share 218 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 2: a share because it's like a mental health kind of insight. 219 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 2: I was sliding down on top of him and I 220 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 2: was like, feel these squads, feel them Daddy onto him? 221 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 2: Day great. You know, like I'm super solid at sixty one, 222 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 2: which is amazing too. It turns me on to be 223 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 2: so strong. I feel like Barbie the Barbarian. You know, 224 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 2: I just good. I'm the Glamazon. 225 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: You know, I'm like there, and it really makes you 226 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 1: feel so good. 227 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,040 Speaker 2: All that extra testosterone doesn't hurt a bit with your 228 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 2: libido either, I tell you right. So anyway, I work 229 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,000 Speaker 2: out every day and there's always something. I had a 230 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,839 Speaker 2: ski accident, whatever, I hurt my foot, whatever, there's always 231 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 2: some little thing. And so my love making dates start 232 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 2: with my lover rubbing pain cream into everything that hurts. 233 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 2: And I love that THHC CBD pain cream we can 234 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 2: get here in California. As a matter of fact, my 235 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 2: mother who has eighty five extreme back issues and she 236 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 2: would have to be on opioids to just survive, she 237 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 2: survived with no problem using the THC pain cream on 238 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:09,839 Speaker 2: her back and legs. It's that good topically, So that 239 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 2: release is it. We just like my husbandill lean up 240 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 2: against the headboard in the bed, I'll have my head 241 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 2: at the foot of the bed under a pillow. I'll 242 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 2: drape my knees in this case, it was my knees 243 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 2: and my ankles over him, and he'll just rub and 244 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 2: we'll talk and we'll chat and we'll connect. Because we've 245 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 2: worked together for seventeen of the thirty years we've been together, 246 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 2: and we've been together so long that sometimes we barely 247 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 2: even have to talk to each other, and other times 248 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 2: what we're talking about our business things. So it's really 249 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 2: nice for us to have some space in our sex 250 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 2: life to just connect our hearts and talk about whatever 251 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 2: and just relax together. Yeah, because relaxation is the foundation 252 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 2: of arousal. You can't get turned on until you're relaxed. 253 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 2: And this is where a lot of rmance anxiety comes. 254 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 2: It comes from, oh my god, I have to be 255 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 2: ready for intercourse. I'm not ready, or the guys are 256 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 2: like what if I don't last long enough, or what 257 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 2: if I don't make or have an orgasm? And so 258 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 2: there's just performance anxiety for both parties. And when you 259 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 2: start with just connecting and laughing and rubbing and touching. 260 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 2: It's just it's just such a nice way to start. 261 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 2: And then after he rubbed me, I iced because I 262 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 2: had to he got all that fluid moving and all 263 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 2: that limph moving. So he went and he was working 264 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 2: on launching My Only Fans vip perks. I launched a 265 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 2: OnlyFans this year since I've seen. 266 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 3: You, Oh my gosh. 267 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 2: I wanted a place where I could have beautiful photos 268 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 2: of a sixty one year old woman who I mean, 269 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 2: I would just have to remove this kind of agistness 270 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 2: about beauty. And I wanted to be able to talk 271 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 2: about techniques and things that I can't talk about on Instagram, 272 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 2: which is where I still have most of my followers. 273 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 2: And so so I just created this and this is 274 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 2: another interesting mental health piece. I just launched these and 275 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,440 Speaker 2: I will pick up all these threads, don't you worry. 276 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 2: I just launched this Quiet Vibe Awards. Today. I'm launching 277 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 2: my Quiet Vibe Awards. I found the ten quietest, most 278 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 2: powerful different types of sex toys that I think are 279 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 2: really great for singles, couples, male bodies, female bodies the 280 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 2: top ten. And that's because I'm a highly sensitive person 281 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 2: and a lot of people who have mental issues are 282 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 2: highly sensitive people, and that is genetics. It's genetics. We're 283 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 2: born highly sensitive. There are no tags on my clothes, 284 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 2: I can. I hate scratchy stuff. I hate loud noises, 285 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 2: I hate repetitive noises. I hate, you know, all all 286 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:04,199 Speaker 2: kinds of things like that. And so I don't like 287 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 2: toys that are noisy because they take me out of 288 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 2: my turn on. And I know there are a lot 289 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 2: of people who live in homes with their children, or 290 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 2: they live in a community or roommate situation. They don't 291 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,159 Speaker 2: want everybody knowing they're using a sex toy. And so 292 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 2: I launched the Quiet Vibe Awards, and I did a 293 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 2: video series where I show how to use them and 294 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 2: what I like about them on video in my new 295 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 2: VIP Perks. And so he ran and he was kind 296 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 2: of nursing that and getting that launched in time for 297 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 2: this morning. And then he came back after my knee 298 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 2: was iced, and he gave me a Yoni massage, and 299 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 2: he gave me the most long, languorous yoni massage in 300 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 2: the history of woman cuffed and yoni. Yoni is a 301 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 2: Tonric love making word. It's actually a Sanskrit word that 302 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 2: means the female eurogenital system, all the parts. And the 303 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 2: reason I like yoni instead of vulva or vagina. Vagina 304 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,159 Speaker 2: is patriarchal. It's just all that matters is what I 305 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 2: stick my penis in, uh, And vulva is really only 306 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 2: the face, the outer face of the vaginal area. It's 307 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:17,879 Speaker 2: not all the good bits, the buried pleasure. And so 308 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,879 Speaker 2: I love the word yoni because it sounds like my 309 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 2: little yoni even though mine's giant, and it's so nice 310 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 2: because it's everything. And what I try to get across 311 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 2: to couples is start your love making sesh with a 312 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 2: yoni massage. 313 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 5: Or some pain cream if you need it. 314 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 2: You're like, oh, mama, like me and start with that, 315 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 2: because that's what brings all that blood flow to all 316 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,160 Speaker 2: her A rectile tissue. Because if you think about a penis, 317 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 2: you know you've got a banana, Well you think that, Okay, 318 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 2: that's a penis. A banana is a penis. Half of 319 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,080 Speaker 2: his banana sticks out of his body, half of it 320 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 2: sticks down and in toward his testicles. So if you 321 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 2: take all that fruit of that banana, it's a pretty 322 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 2: large amount of a rectile tissue in a man's penis, 323 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 2: take it out, turn it into a circle with a 324 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 2: point at the top, and then lift the cover off 325 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,360 Speaker 2: the vulva, lift the skin off and PLoP it right 326 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,919 Speaker 2: inside there around the vaginal canal. And literally we have 327 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 2: as much a rectile tissue as our male bodied partners. 328 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 2: But it's all these nooks and crannies. It's little arms 329 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 2: and little legs, and a little sponge and a little 330 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 2: tube and a you know, and a shaft and a 331 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 2: little tip, and there's all these pieces to ours. It's 332 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 2: not so simple. Oh my god. If you could just 333 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 2: use the yoni. And by the way, the penis is 334 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 2: called the lingam in sandscrit if you could just compare 335 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 2: the yoni to the female and the lingam to the male, 336 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 2: straight shot, single minded. Here he goes, boom, he's ready 337 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 2: to go. The yoni is like, I've got nooks and crannies. 338 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,640 Speaker 2: It's gonna take me all this thing to get warmed up. 339 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 2: That's the difference between men and women right there down everything. 340 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 2: It's like like, that's like a iology. 341 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 1: Can you tell the listeners a little bit about a 342 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,439 Speaker 1: yoni massage, because this is something that I've learned a 343 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,440 Speaker 1: little bit about in the. 344 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 3: Last couple of years. But like, how did your husband 345 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,440 Speaker 3: learn how to do that? What is it? I'm sure 346 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 3: Chip loves this conversation. Well, but I know there's a 347 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 3: lot of lady learning. You know, there's. 348 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,359 Speaker 2: Always Zonies and Liams, and they both love erotic massage. 349 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 2: So I learned it by It's really the thing that 350 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 2: saved my marriage in all honesty to almost twenty years ago, 351 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 2: and the thing that got me into my second career 352 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 2: as a sexpert in my forties, when I hadn't had 353 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 2: orgasms from intercourse. You know, for over a decade of 354 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 2: having intercourse with my husband, I don't want to do 355 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 2: it anymore. Wasn't any fun for me. And he's like, 356 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,639 Speaker 2: all right, well, we got to fix this. How do 357 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 2: we have how do we help you across the gasm chasm? 358 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 5: Right? 359 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 2: How do we cause that orgasm gap? And we learned 360 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 2: a version of expanded orgasm called orgasmic meditation, which is 361 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 2: a literal stroke technique that helps women have really incredible 362 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 2: orgasms by very very lightly stroking their c literal structure. 363 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,920 Speaker 2: And I started having orgasms from manual stimulation, and then 364 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 2: I was able to cross train into orgasms from intercourse 365 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 2: because I learned how to become massively orgasmic with this 366 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 2: manual hand stroking technique, and that's what we went on 367 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 2: to start our company seventeen years ago, Personal Life Media. 368 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,119 Speaker 2: We started with expand Her Orgasm Tonight, a program that 369 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 2: teaches these these clitteral stroking techniques. And then over time, 370 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 2: what I realized was that I didn't want him to 371 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:43,640 Speaker 2: start directly on a clteral stroking, that it was actually 372 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 2: too fast for me, and I wanted more massage around 373 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 2: the outer side of my vulva. I wanted it on 374 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 2: my mom's, my outer labia, my groin, my sweet little cheeks. 375 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 2: And so over time he just developed this incredible way 376 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 2: of activating and enlivening all the tissue in my entire 377 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:10,400 Speaker 2: yoni by just systematically rubbing it and me telling him 378 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:14,640 Speaker 2: where I needed most of the rubbing and needing and 379 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 2: pulsing and all the different types of things that he does. 380 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,919 Speaker 2: Sometimes he just takes my yoni and he's just like 381 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,880 Speaker 2: squishing it, you know, once he gets it warmed up. 382 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 2: So we have and if your listeners are interested in 383 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 2: how to do this expanded orgasm practice, we have expand 384 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 2: Her orgasmtonight dot com, which has three free pleasure reports 385 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:43,400 Speaker 2: that give you what is expanded orgasm, how to touch 386 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 2: for rapture, and the power of peaking, which is an 387 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 2: orgasmic pleasuring technique. It's very very important for helping women 388 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,200 Speaker 2: climb the arousal ladder, so expand her orgasms. Tonight is 389 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,199 Speaker 2: where we started, and then we just got better and 390 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 2: better and better at these incredibly relaxing Yoni missage. So 391 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 2: I laid there, and the nice thing about expanded orgasm 392 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 2: practice is that it teaches you as a woman that 393 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 2: you are not It removes the performative and the quid 394 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,439 Speaker 2: pro quo. It removes any requirement for me to be 395 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 2: like moaning or writhing or doing anything or touching him 396 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,120 Speaker 2: in any way. I literally just lie there as quietly 397 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 2: as I feel like, until my body starts to be 398 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,400 Speaker 2: able to want to moan. Sometimes it just starts out 399 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,399 Speaker 2: with my moans of my mouth closed, and then my 400 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 2: mouth opens and more moans come out, and then my 401 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 2: body starts moving and writhing under his hands. I have 402 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 2: learned to wait to allow my body to get turned on. 403 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 2: It will get turned on, I trust it. Now I'm 404 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 2: over my performance anxiety, will I be able to come? Oh, girl, 405 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 2: you know you're gonna come, Buckets. You just gotta let 406 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 2: yon You just gotta give Yony her head. She's just 407 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,479 Speaker 2: gotta do what she's gonna do that day. It's different 408 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 2: every day. Let her do it, and let's all let's 409 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 2: both see Tim and I what Yonie's doing by the 410 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 2: sound she makes and how long it takes her and 411 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 2: what she wants. And she tells me, oh, I want 412 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 2: more light strokes on my inner lady. Oh that spot 413 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,399 Speaker 2: on my mons that always has like a stitch in 414 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,000 Speaker 2: it that really needs rub. Oh a little lighter, it's 415 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 2: really stitchy today. Or oh god, it feels so good 416 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 2: when you just rub up and down on my outer laby. 417 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 2: Last night, I really wanted a lot in my groin. 418 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,679 Speaker 2: I wanted him to like really get right where my 419 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 2: leg meets the trunk of my body, right in there. 420 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 2: It really was just I probably from working out. It 421 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:49,959 Speaker 2: needed to be released. The belly above the mons is 422 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 2: critical for our blood flow into our pelvis to engorge 423 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 2: all that erectile tissue and plump it up. So basically, 424 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 2: in a nutshell, what he's doing, he's giving me a 425 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 2: heart on. He's giving me a full volval heart on, 426 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 2: all the tissues getting at all plumped up, so I 427 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 2: get my lady boners. Yeah, and it's not just about 428 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:19,439 Speaker 2: tip of the clip. I recently had an incredible experience 429 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,639 Speaker 2: just in the last I would say, eight months, where 430 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 2: I was my girlfriend's ecstatic birth partner. She's not my lover, 431 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 2: but she wanted to have an ecstatic home birth, and 432 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 2: so I gave her Yoni massages on call. She would 433 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 2: call me and be like, can I come over? Can 434 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 2: you come over? And I gave her Yoni massages, and 435 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,119 Speaker 2: I remember when I began to do to her what 436 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 2: my husband had done to me, because I'd never done 437 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 2: this to a woman before. She said, my god, I've 438 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 2: never had anybody do anything other than just stroke my 439 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 2: glitters overly hard and then stick something in my vagina. 440 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 2: Nobody's ever touched all these parts before. So it's just 441 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 2: this massively cathartic experience to be like, you don't need 442 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,560 Speaker 2: to do anything. You don't have to pretend you're coming, 443 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,439 Speaker 2: you don't have to there's nothing for you to do. 444 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,120 Speaker 2: You just be and let's see what body is doing today. 445 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:19,480 Speaker 2: I am going to lovingly massage every part of your 446 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,920 Speaker 2: yoni and if you don't want me inside, I won't 447 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 2: go in. I'm going to wait a long time before 448 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 2: I ask you if I can enter you. And it's 449 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 2: so relaxing and reverential. And there have been many times 450 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,680 Speaker 2: over the last twenty years that he's been doing this 451 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,920 Speaker 2: to me that I've said I don't want to go further. 452 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,440 Speaker 2: That's all I want, and he's been okay, no problem, 453 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 2: because he knows that if he expects, if I am 454 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 2: expected to do more and I'm not in the mood 455 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 2: for it that day. And it's rare, it's maybe like 456 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 2: two percent of all the times I get a yony massage. 457 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm tired, I got to go to bed now, 458 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 2: I'm done. I don't want more. He's like, that's fine, babe, 459 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,359 Speaker 2: and he tucks me in. He pulls the covers over 460 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 2: my shoulders and tucks me in and lets me go 461 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 2: to sleep. That's how that's your path to a woman 462 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,199 Speaker 2: saying yes to yoni massage every time you offer or 463 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,479 Speaker 2: every time she asks, and being willing to ask for 464 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 2: it because there's no requirement that she does more. She 465 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 2: ninety five ninety eight percent of the time she wants more, right, 466 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 2: it's that two percent that's the make or break. There's 467 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 2: no need for me to do anything. And then I 468 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,639 Speaker 2: want more because I'm not afraid to ask for it. 469 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 2: And then we got good together and then I got 470 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 2: real turned on and it was so nice. So he 471 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 2: gave me a Yoni massage and then he went back 472 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 2: and he nursed only fancy. He's like, we already got 473 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 2: three subscribers. 474 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 4: It's so listening to that. It's what's interesting because I 475 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 4: know personally, something that I've struggled with is the vulnerable 476 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 4: vulnerabil can't say the word vulnerability of not a feeling 477 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,280 Speaker 4: like I'm contributing equally, you know, the quick pro quo things. 478 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 4: And I think it's really important for all listeners to 479 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 4: remember that, Like it's really important to find pleasure in 480 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 4: giving pleasure when you're having sex. Like I told my boyfriend, 481 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,439 Speaker 4: Like the thing that turns me on the most is 482 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 4: when I feel wanted, you know, like feeling wanted, And 483 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 4: that's like all receiving you know what I mean, It's 484 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,399 Speaker 4: not about anything that I'm giving, and it's and it's 485 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 4: you know, I have struggled with, like feeling like a 486 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 4: lazy lover or whatever. But like hearing you tell this story, 487 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:48,480 Speaker 4: it's like such an important connective tissue. You know, pun 488 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 4: intended of a sexual relationship is to allow someone to 489 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 4: give you pleasure, because if you otherwise, you're rushing it 490 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 4: and you're kind of missing the boat. 491 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 2: You know, it's very codependent when you feel like you 492 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 2: can't be your authentic self and allow your body to 493 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 2: just respond in the way your body is going to 494 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 2: respond in that moment, when you feel like you have 495 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 2: to give or you have to be a certain way 496 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:27,760 Speaker 2: to get their love. That's actually codependency. When you have 497 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 2: when you hold your boundary around I'm going to allow 498 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 2: my body to naturally respond, then your partner knows that 499 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 2: those moons are for real, and that gets gives them 500 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 2: more pleasure than if you were to be like, oh 501 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 2: maybe this feels so good, but hey, just calm the 502 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 2: fuck down, shut up, lie there and just enjoy and 503 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,560 Speaker 2: allow me to pleasure you and just be real in 504 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 2: your response. The more we can get out of the 505 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 2: I've got to be doing something and into the I'm 506 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 2: just being here with you and we're seeing what happens together. 507 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 2: It's it actually is more exciting. It's not performative. It's 508 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:15,480 Speaker 2: actually just responsive. And I think that's and you know, 509 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 2: there's that difference between responsive and spontaneous sex, where the 510 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 2: male body being so much more generally turned on and 511 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:27,320 Speaker 2: ready to go. They are spontan. They're spontaneous. They're built 512 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 2: to be spontaneous because they have to be ready for 513 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 2: whenever she's ready. So at any moment you can be like, 514 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 2: I'm horny, can we have sex? And pretty much a 515 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,040 Speaker 2: male body partner generally will be like, yeah, sure, I'll 516 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 2: be able to get it up for you. 517 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 5: Let's go. 518 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 2: Because he's he's ready, he's more ready all the time 519 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,040 Speaker 2: than the female body. So the Yoni massage is like 520 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 2: just such a great trick, and then that leads to 521 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 2: more do you want to hear the rest of the 522 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 2: sex day? 523 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:56,800 Speaker 3: Obviously? 524 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:04,160 Speaker 2: Kay, he's so good. So it comes back he's like 525 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 2: we got three, we got three subscribers, and we're like, okay, 526 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 2: so much trying to day. And then then that was 527 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 2: in like you know, half an hour or something, right, 528 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 2: So then what happened next? Uh oh oh, I was 529 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,400 Speaker 2: going to tell you here's another thread I'm going to 530 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 2: pick up. So I had a lot of sexual abuse 531 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 2: as a child, and my stepfather repeatedly abused me and 532 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 2: beat me and did all kinds of horrible things. And 533 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 2: I've really generally come to terms with it all. I've 534 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 2: worked with a therapist. I've come to compassion and forgiveness. 535 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 2: I've noticed when it's running me and I readjust and 536 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,240 Speaker 2: all of those kinds of things. But I've always had 537 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 2: this weird thing with intercourse where when I'm penetrated, it 538 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 2: kind of for a moment, it takes my arousal down 539 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 2: and I have to kind of really struggle a bit 540 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 2: to adjust to it. And over the last few years, 541 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 2: I've been working on my cowgirl sex position, learning how 542 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 2: to get myself off on my husband's man cannon as 543 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 2: I like to come and I have wanted to be 544 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 2: on top so that I have a lot more control 545 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 2: over it. It gives the woman a lot more control 546 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 2: over the strokes and the depth and the speed and 547 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 2: all of those kinds of things. And so one of 548 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 2: the things I realized just recently was I need to 549 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 2: be in control of the moment of initial penetration, because 550 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 2: when I was penetrated against my will, it set a 551 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 2: you know, an upset in my body, A trigger, a 552 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,959 Speaker 2: PTST type of a trigger in my body that is 553 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 2: too is with me to this day, even though I 554 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,959 Speaker 2: know that I'm in a totally loving place with my husband. 555 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 2: You can't outrationalize and enteric triggers and erk being your 556 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 2: body's your body's nervous system that holds memory. And so 557 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 2: I said to him, I think I just always want 558 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 2: to start our intercourse sessions with me sliding down on 559 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 2: top of you, because I seem to be okay after 560 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 2: I get through that initial penetration. But I wasn't ready. 561 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 2: But before we got to the penetration, I forgot one part. 562 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,880 Speaker 2: I was really turned on by that yoni massage. And 563 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 2: one of the things that I am as a sex 564 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 2: toy master, I'm one of the books I'm writing right 565 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 2: now is called Orgasmic Cross Training, and it's the eight 566 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 2: kinds of toys that activate your entire yoni so that 567 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 2: all of the tissue gets stimulated so that you become 568 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 2: massively multi orgasmic, and explaining what each of them are 569 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 2: and how to use them and where to use them 570 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 2: and why they are additive to your orgasmic expansion. And 571 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 2: so I like to use a lot of toys doring sex, 572 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:12,400 Speaker 2: and so right after my Yoni massage, I really wanted 573 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 2: to use this little vibrator I love called the tango X, 574 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,200 Speaker 2: and I wanted to kneel over my husband, kind of 575 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 2: next to him. He was lying on his back, and 576 00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 2: I wanted him to play with my breasts because over 577 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 2: the years, I've learned how to make my breasts and 578 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:30,280 Speaker 2: nipples massively orgasmic for myself. And so he was playing 579 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,000 Speaker 2: with my boobs while I was kind of kneeling above 580 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 2: him with the vibrator on my glitterists having orgasms while 581 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 2: he told me how sexy and beautiful I am, which 582 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 2: I really like. I like words of adoration. One of 583 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,800 Speaker 2: my friends recently told me I have an adoration kink, 584 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 2: and I said, I don't think it's a kink. I 585 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:52,000 Speaker 2: think everybody wants adoration. The kink is something that not 586 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 2: that many people want to do. I think everybody wants adoration. 587 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,600 Speaker 2: And I love when my lover tells me all kinds 588 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:02,320 Speaker 2: of incredible things about how great I am, so especially 589 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,920 Speaker 2: when I'm having orgasms. So I did that for a while, 590 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:10,840 Speaker 2: and then I gave him oral pleasuring because he loves 591 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 2: that and so one of the other things, it was 592 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,040 Speaker 2: so cute, you guys, I was at a bar. I 593 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 2: was at the Four Seasons in Austin, Texas with some 594 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 2: of my girls for conference, and one of my girlfriends 595 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,520 Speaker 2: sidles over to me and she goes, can you I 596 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 2: have this new boyfriend and I want to give him 597 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,000 Speaker 2: a really good blowjob? Can you teach me how to 598 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 2: give him a really good blowjob? And I was like, yeah, 599 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 2: can you. She's an essential oils she runs an essential 600 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 2: oils company, And I said, can you teach me how 601 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,920 Speaker 2: to give myself a lymphatic drainage massage self massage with 602 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,520 Speaker 2: essential oils? And she's like totally. So here we are 603 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 2: in the bar in pink champagne. She's doing essential oils 604 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 2: all over my neck and all this stuff. And then 605 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:55,799 Speaker 2: I told her how to give her boyfriend the most 606 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,239 Speaker 2: incredible blowjobs and she's and after I told her, I said, so, 607 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,400 Speaker 2: what were the things that you felt were the most 608 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,319 Speaker 2: interesting things that I told you? And I remember one 609 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,440 Speaker 2: of them was you can get him to hold his 610 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:07,279 Speaker 2: dick up for you. 611 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,319 Speaker 3: Oh, She's like, I. 612 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:14,279 Speaker 2: Never thought about having because it's hard to if you 613 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 2: got it, it depends on which direction the penis is 614 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,319 Speaker 2: angled on your lover, as to where you need to 615 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:25,200 Speaker 2: have your body to get the maximum ease of flow 616 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 2: in your mouth. And it's really When I like my 617 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 2: husband to lie down, I like to kind of be 618 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,720 Speaker 2: over him, but I need both hands to hold myself 619 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,840 Speaker 2: up so I don't get tired. So he holds his 620 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,520 Speaker 2: penis up while I pleasure it, and then he'll stroke 621 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,919 Speaker 2: my hair and stroke my back and moan and tell 622 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,120 Speaker 2: me how beautiful I am and how sexy I look, 623 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 2: and how turned on he is and all that stuff, 624 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:54,360 Speaker 2: and it's so nice. So it was so cute. She's like, 625 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 2: I never thought about it after you never thought about that? 626 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:01,320 Speaker 5: So cute. 627 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 2: So I pleasured him and pleasured him, and he had 628 00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,239 Speaker 2: a great time. And then when I got tired, I 629 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 2: stopped and I laid next to him and nestled nestled 630 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 2: in his arm, and he held me for a while, 631 00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:12,880 Speaker 2: and then I said, well, I think I would like 632 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 2: to slide down on the man hammer, And so I 633 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,120 Speaker 2: did that, and I made love to him for as 634 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 2: long as my little ski knees would hold me, and 635 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:30,560 Speaker 2: then we went we flipped and went to the edge 636 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,239 Speaker 2: of the bed and he so, my husband was so 637 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,920 Speaker 2: interesting after our date was, so, we have this thing 638 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 2: called sharing frames, and sharing frames is you tell your 639 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:44,239 Speaker 2: lover things that you really loved about that particular love 640 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 2: making date that session. And I said, so afterward, I said, 641 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 2: what were your three favorite things about that sash? And 642 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:58,279 Speaker 2: he said, well, number one was your high heels and 643 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:03,400 Speaker 2: that's I wore this ridictus one piece super hot pink, 644 00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 2: stretchy number where my boob stuck out and it was 645 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,480 Speaker 2: super short, so there was no panties. It was just 646 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,719 Speaker 2: this silly little piece of cloth like a couple of 647 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:16,120 Speaker 2: strings and a pair of really sexy super high like 648 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,680 Speaker 2: I have to take them off to get out of 649 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:21,080 Speaker 2: bed and go to the bathroom high fields that were 650 00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:24,879 Speaker 2: hot pink with sparkly rhymestones all over them. I love 651 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:31,200 Speaker 2: them shoes and so so he said, my favorite part 652 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:35,760 Speaker 2: was your sexy heels and your sexy outfit. My second 653 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:40,400 Speaker 2: favorite part was how incredibly well you orgasm in the 654 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:45,759 Speaker 2: entire three hours of our date, like unbelievable. I don't 655 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:47,960 Speaker 2: remember what the fourth one was or the third one was. 656 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 2: I literally can't even remember, because you know, you get humbrain. Yeah, 657 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 2: so I just thought it was so cute. I was like, 658 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,200 Speaker 2: you like the heels better than the orgasms. He's like, 659 00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 2: I did, I love them? Like that's so interesting. I 660 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,440 Speaker 2: would not I would not have you know, like, I 661 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 2: wouldn't have known that. Even though he's constantly like we 662 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:08,839 Speaker 2: have an unlimited lingerie budget because he loves my lingerie so. 663 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,680 Speaker 3: Much, I'm still stuck on three hours. 664 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, you do the pain cream. We launched the 665 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,560 Speaker 2: only fans VIPA bergs. You right, you come back, you 666 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,000 Speaker 2: do the Yi massage. You know you gotta. I got 667 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:22,839 Speaker 2: time for icing. 668 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,360 Speaker 1: I mean right, there is a lot happening. But I 669 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 1: think the one thing I always find really like, I 670 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 1: really appreciate this about every time you're talking about these 671 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,759 Speaker 1: sexual experiences is that, like you mentioned the part where 672 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,359 Speaker 1: you're like laid on his chest and y'all started talking 673 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,840 Speaker 1: and you were like, then I wanted to then I 674 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,400 Speaker 1: want to do this. And it's not this like yeah, 675 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,880 Speaker 1: sprint to come, It's this like marathon and you do 676 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,480 Speaker 1: all these different positions and you kind of reconnect in 677 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,759 Speaker 1: the middle, and then you are talking and you're expressing 678 00:39:55,800 --> 00:40:00,480 Speaker 1: your needs like that is intimate. That is vulnerable too, 679 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,160 Speaker 1: and there's so much of that you were talking about. 680 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 1: The performative aspect that I do think is how most 681 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,640 Speaker 1: of us have kind of learned how to have sex, 682 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:13,239 Speaker 1: you know, And so it takes out these pieces of 683 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 1: this emotional fulfillment that I hear you getting, as well 684 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:22,960 Speaker 1: as the orgasms and probably the best physical experience you 685 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:23,480 Speaker 1: could have. 686 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,680 Speaker 2: Every time my lover has sex with me, it's a 687 00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,560 Speaker 2: constant surprise. He never knows what I'm gonna want because 688 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,319 Speaker 2: I'm listening to my yoni. I never know either, and 689 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:40,880 Speaker 2: so it's very authentic and real and comforting to listen 690 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,120 Speaker 2: to your body and to ask for what you want, 691 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,640 Speaker 2: and he asks for what he wants to blow job, blowjob, 692 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:58,560 Speaker 2: blow drop blow. Yeah, but it is relaxing. That's the thing. 693 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 2: That's why it becaus good for your mental health, because 694 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 2: it's true. It's vulnerable, it's heart connected, it's languorous. It's 695 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 2: no wine before it's time, no rush, right, and you know. 696 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 2: And he went out and got us a glass of 697 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,000 Speaker 2: so I got to ask him what the heck he 698 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,799 Speaker 2: served me last night. It was a delicious wine. He 699 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,920 Speaker 2: went and got us some wine before the intercourse. When 700 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,000 Speaker 2: we were resting, we had a little wine. We just 701 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:31,920 Speaker 2: laid there. We have a big picture of water the 702 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:37,080 Speaker 2: fireplaces on the mute. We played a seventies romantic Eighties. 703 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:41,600 Speaker 2: We played an eighties romantic playlist last night that was 704 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:46,360 Speaker 2: just adorable. I mean, the seventies had the sweetest or 705 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 2: the eighties. I guess it was the eighties. It's had 706 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,479 Speaker 2: like the most sweetest innocent love songs. Yeah, so dark, 707 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:56,680 Speaker 2: not cheesy like the fifties, not folksy like the sixties. Yeah, 708 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,480 Speaker 2: a little edgier like the eighties were just so good 709 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:04,799 Speaker 2: and we just had a marvelous time spending the afternoon 710 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:09,160 Speaker 2: making love together. And at the end, one of our 711 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:14,200 Speaker 2: favorite positions is where my butt is, Like I literally 712 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,479 Speaker 2: stand at the edge of the bed and then sit 713 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:19,160 Speaker 2: down and lie back. My butt's right at the edge 714 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,959 Speaker 2: of the bed and my legs are in the air 715 00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:27,200 Speaker 2: or they're on big pillows. I'm a pillow princess, big 716 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:31,560 Speaker 2: pillows on each side, butterfly leg open, legs open. I'm open, 717 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,279 Speaker 2: and my head's on my pillow with my satin pillow cover, 718 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,920 Speaker 2: which is what I like. And if I'm chilly, I 719 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 2: have a little blanky over me. And then he's standing 720 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,759 Speaker 2: at the edge of the bed. Our bed's the perfect height. 721 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,719 Speaker 2: He's standing at the edge of the bed and he 722 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:53,880 Speaker 2: enters me and I have this new vibrator. So one 723 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,680 Speaker 2: of my favorite companies is called fun Factory, and they 724 00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,720 Speaker 2: just came out with the new Magic Wand you remember 725 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:07,480 Speaker 2: the the wand your mom's massage, remember that, Well, they 726 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,759 Speaker 2: moms massager. You know, I'm winking like the biggest like 727 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:18,320 Speaker 2: side eye wink right now. And that's a fantastic massager, 728 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,439 Speaker 2: especially for people who struggle to org as it because 729 00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,040 Speaker 2: it's powerful. But the problem is that if you're like 730 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,240 Speaker 2: me and many, many, many, many women who have big 731 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,799 Speaker 2: inner labia that kind of hang down, which I think 732 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,600 Speaker 2: are gorgeous. And I don't know why women are embarrassed 733 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:38,719 Speaker 2: about their beautiful labia because they look so pretty. If 734 00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,560 Speaker 2: you put that magic wand on there, they do like 735 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:46,879 Speaker 2: a motor boat and it's not that comfortable. So fun 736 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,480 Speaker 2: Factory just came out with a new wand the new 737 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,360 Speaker 2: wand you have to get this if you are listening 738 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,239 Speaker 2: to this podcast, and I have no I mean, I'm 739 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 2: not it's not a link. I'm not. I'm not gonna 740 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,120 Speaker 2: make any money from telling you this. I'm just telling 741 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,600 Speaker 2: you that you need to get this new toy. It's 742 00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:05,359 Speaker 2: the way that it works, the wand it's first of all, 743 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,680 Speaker 2: it looks like a sculpture. It feels super light in 744 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,520 Speaker 2: your hand. You know, it doesn't feel too heavy, but 745 00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,680 Speaker 2: it's rumbling. But the rumbles when you put it on 746 00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,120 Speaker 2: your body, they penetrate deep into your body. They use 747 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,920 Speaker 2: some kind of like magnety weighted thing or something. They're Germans, 748 00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:24,600 Speaker 2: they know what they're doing. They makes BMW's, et cetera. 749 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:29,880 Speaker 2: This is basically the Porsche of the vibrator universe and 750 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:34,480 Speaker 2: the vimv im from fun Factory. It sends the sensation 751 00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,800 Speaker 2: deep into your body, which means it's getting into all 752 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 2: that erectile tissue and stimulating it even more, sending more 753 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 2: pleasure signals to your number one sex organ, your brain. 754 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,280 Speaker 2: So I had that on my glitteris. He was making 755 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,120 Speaker 2: love to me. We were having intercourse. I was coming 756 00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:56,239 Speaker 2: and coming and coming and coming, and he was loving it, 757 00:44:56,400 --> 00:45:00,120 Speaker 2: loving it, loving it, loving it, and finally we he 758 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:07,400 Speaker 2: just both had this mutually giant satisfying or gasmic explosion together. 759 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,360 Speaker 2: It was incredible. My mouth just watered. It was incredible 760 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:17,040 Speaker 2: and that was kind of the end. And then we 761 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,960 Speaker 2: laid next to each other in the bed and I 762 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,560 Speaker 2: turned to him and I said, you know that chicken 763 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,520 Speaker 2: leg in the refrigerator, could you in the kitchen and 764 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 2: could you just pull all the chicken off the bone 765 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,279 Speaker 2: and put it on the plate for me and feed me? 766 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,959 Speaker 2: And he's like super baby. He comes back. I'm still 767 00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:36,520 Speaker 2: lying in like orgasmic bliss. He comes back with a 768 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,200 Speaker 2: plate all warmed up with the chicken all just super 769 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,680 Speaker 2: beautifully arranged. I took a picture of it, super beautifully arranged, 770 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,800 Speaker 2: with all the potatoes and the carrots and the leaks 771 00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:50,680 Speaker 2: and the onions all mixed in just perfectly, and a 772 00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:54,960 Speaker 2: little bit more wine. And we watched Bridgerton, the new 773 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,919 Speaker 2: Bridgerton got and so then and then we went to bed. 774 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:03,840 Speaker 2: I mean, talk about it. Perfect date. That DUDEI knows 775 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:10,280 Speaker 2: what to do. He is unbelievable in bed. Oh my god, 776 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,799 Speaker 2: it was so much fun and it was ours and 777 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,760 Speaker 2: great and that was thirty years we've been together. 778 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,120 Speaker 1: Geez, I feel like we need to start a new 779 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,760 Speaker 1: series called story Time with Sees. 780 00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,120 Speaker 3: Oh my god, the last. 781 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,759 Speaker 1: Time you were on the podcast, I got so many 782 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:28,080 Speaker 1: messages about how it turned on people were I'm sitting 783 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:29,480 Speaker 1: here and I'm like, Jesus, I. 784 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,040 Speaker 4: Want I'm like trying not to blush, like, but I'm 785 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:37,480 Speaker 4: also like chair right, I have such reverence for. 786 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,640 Speaker 2: Haven't got you two to take your clothes off yet? 787 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:41,440 Speaker 2: Sorry that say that, say. 788 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:47,279 Speaker 4: That, I have reverence for the ease with which you 789 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:51,200 Speaker 4: like talk about sex, because it's it's so refreshing, like 790 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:55,319 Speaker 4: to describe a very intimate, private moment. But I'm just like, 791 00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:00,840 Speaker 4: what I'm hearing is like what would normally sound, you know, taboo. 792 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:04,399 Speaker 4: What I'm hearing is like, you guys are spending really 793 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:09,440 Speaker 4: important time together, you know, like you're it's the you're together, 794 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,720 Speaker 4: and whether it's sexual or you're watching TV or drinking 795 00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:16,839 Speaker 4: wine or eating chicken, like, it's just a connectivity that like, 796 00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,000 Speaker 4: I think that like so many of us think of 797 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,360 Speaker 4: sex either as a chore or something we just need 798 00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,799 Speaker 4: or want to do, and it's not something that we're 799 00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:33,759 Speaker 4: like sharing and experiencing and even discovery, you know, it's like, oh, 800 00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,759 Speaker 4: I just want to get rye rocks off. And I think, 801 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:37,719 Speaker 4: especially in the gay world, it's a lot of that 802 00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,439 Speaker 4: because you're dealing with two guys that can get hard 803 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,719 Speaker 4: really fast and come really fast. Yeah, you know. I 804 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:47,120 Speaker 4: like what I'm hearing is like this really romantic sort 805 00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,720 Speaker 4: of id I mean, it's not even just an idea 806 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,160 Speaker 4: because you're doing it, but like it's romanticizing the idea 807 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,600 Speaker 4: of sex, and not in a cheesy way, because it 808 00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,640 Speaker 4: sounds like you're still having a lot of fun. If 809 00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,800 Speaker 4: there's a you know, it's sexy. 810 00:47:59,520 --> 00:47:59,719 Speaker 2: You know. 811 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,279 Speaker 4: I would also think that a lot of women, like 812 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,120 Speaker 4: if you asked your man what was your favorite part 813 00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:06,719 Speaker 4: and he said the heels, a lot of women would 814 00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,200 Speaker 4: be like, are you fucking kidding me? You didn't like 815 00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:12,600 Speaker 4: my blowjob? But like the fact that you can be honest, 816 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,320 Speaker 4: that he can be honest with you about that, and 817 00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,760 Speaker 4: you're like, oh, you like the visual and you learn 818 00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:20,839 Speaker 4: from that about how you can please him more. I mean, 819 00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,040 Speaker 4: I think it's just really beautiful, Like it just blows 820 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,680 Speaker 4: my mind the level of comfort that you have in 821 00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:27,480 Speaker 4: talking about it and sharing with people. I think it's 822 00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:28,520 Speaker 4: really important. 823 00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:32,879 Speaker 2: Thank you. I feel like in having opportunities like being 824 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:34,839 Speaker 2: on your show and being able to talk about things 825 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,600 Speaker 2: like this, it normalizes it and it gives people ideas 826 00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,920 Speaker 2: for how they can take whatever parts of what I 827 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,600 Speaker 2: said they that they liked and incorporate them. Yeah, and 828 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,360 Speaker 2: I have a feeling a lot of your listeners will 829 00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:52,080 Speaker 2: send this episode to a friend or a lover and 830 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,960 Speaker 2: say that I'll have what she's having. That's what I want. 831 00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,359 Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter whether you're the you know you're 832 00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,600 Speaker 2: straight gay male emails somewhere on the Sparkle Rainbow spectrum, 833 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:07,680 Speaker 2: which I completely and fully support. This is just from 834 00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,400 Speaker 2: a human perspective, what we want, and it is interesting. 835 00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:14,680 Speaker 2: I have a very large gay following, and I have 836 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:19,040 Speaker 2: a large gay following for two reasons. Number One, I 837 00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:24,000 Speaker 2: teach people. I teach men how to do penis enlargement 838 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,920 Speaker 2: using a vacuum erection device, a penis pump called the Whopper. 839 00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,719 Speaker 2: I have a book called Pump the Pump Guide at 840 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:33,000 Speaker 2: pumping guide dot com that has had over forty thousand downloads. 841 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:37,399 Speaker 2: I've helped thousands upon thousands upon thousands of men use 842 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:42,319 Speaker 2: a pump correctly to get a bigger penis. Because in 843 00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:47,560 Speaker 2: the gay world there is definitely an even greater desire 844 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,560 Speaker 2: to have, you know, genitals that match your body. I'm 845 00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,480 Speaker 2: big with bodybuilders and I'm big with gay men because 846 00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:57,920 Speaker 2: they want their package to look like the rest of 847 00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:01,840 Speaker 2: their body, like blow you away, gorgeous. And then the 848 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,440 Speaker 2: second thing that I spend a lot of time helping 849 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:10,040 Speaker 2: gay men get to is heart connection, connecting their heart 850 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:15,279 Speaker 2: to their penis, because it doesn't necessarily come naturally to 851 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:21,799 Speaker 2: the male bodied person, testosterone dominant human being, no matter 852 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:25,279 Speaker 2: whether they're straight, gay, or safeio sexual or you name 853 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:31,040 Speaker 2: it sexual. And so when men come to me and 854 00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:34,440 Speaker 2: they're like, I want more than I'm getting and I 855 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,120 Speaker 2: don't know what it is, I'm like, I know what 856 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,240 Speaker 2: it is. You got to connect your heart to penis, 857 00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,960 Speaker 2: and once you start doing that, you're going to get 858 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:47,560 Speaker 2: the kind of romantic, pleasurable, lovely, beautiful sex that you 859 00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:52,480 Speaker 2: have been wanting but didn't have the models for necessarily 860 00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:54,920 Speaker 2: in that more transactional gay community. 861 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,080 Speaker 3: I think that's true for all men. 862 00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,120 Speaker 1: Like I don't know if it's because I'm getting older 863 00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,840 Speaker 1: and maybe men that I'm dating are in a different 864 00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:06,279 Speaker 1: phase of their life, but I find that they are 865 00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:10,080 Speaker 1: just as sensitive. They're just they want to feel something 866 00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,239 Speaker 1: just the same way that I do, versus just like 867 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,520 Speaker 1: have sex, to have sex, like it really it's it's 868 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,880 Speaker 1: kind of blowing me away. But that seems to be 869 00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,360 Speaker 1: a consistent theme. And I hear so much of that 870 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,160 Speaker 1: with your husband too, Like he genuinely seems to want 871 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,600 Speaker 1: to feel things with you, you know, like it's much 872 00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,160 Speaker 1: deeper than a physical thing. 873 00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,759 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And my husband is very kinesthetic. So there's three. 874 00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:36,920 Speaker 2: There's three styles of lovers. There's and this is just 875 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:40,400 Speaker 2: your dominant style. You have all three. There's visual, auditory, 876 00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,040 Speaker 2: and kinesthetic. And you'd think, oh, well, he must be 877 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,240 Speaker 2: visual because he loves those shoes. But actually, my husband's 878 00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:50,080 Speaker 2: very kinesthetic and he and he's very auditory. He loves 879 00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,480 Speaker 2: it when I tell him dirty stories while I'm making 880 00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,719 Speaker 2: love to him and things that makes stuff up. I'll 881 00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,919 Speaker 2: get on top of him and make love to him 882 00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:03,319 Speaker 2: and my little cowgirl yeeha, and tell him the dirtiest fantasy. Yeah, 883 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,239 Speaker 2: And that's what he loves more than anything. But he 884 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:12,600 Speaker 2: also really does love that the like limbic connection that 885 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:16,840 Speaker 2: we have, which he learned from the stroking of my 886 00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:22,719 Speaker 2: clitoristm delicate gentle stroking. He can just connect with me 887 00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:27,760 Speaker 2: and take me up into a level of felt pleasure 888 00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:34,720 Speaker 2: that makes me feel like I can touch source god Gia. 889 00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:41,960 Speaker 2: We go out into the far reaches of orgasmic bliss together. 890 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,600 Speaker 2: He takes me, I ride his ride. The feedback he 891 00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,760 Speaker 2: gets from me takes him higher. 892 00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean shit, maybe you can speak to this 893 00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,120 Speaker 1: more too. But maybe this is a human thing, not 894 00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:56,480 Speaker 1: just a man thing. But I feel like some of 895 00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:58,239 Speaker 1: the feedback I get is that it gets. 896 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:00,160 Speaker 3: Men get really turned on. 897 00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:04,359 Speaker 1: Knowing how turned on you're getting, like in general, true, 898 00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,799 Speaker 1: maybe that's humans, but I hear a lot of. 899 00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:10,000 Speaker 2: That we all do. Yeah, I'll get turned on by 900 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:12,040 Speaker 2: getting by turning on our lover, as long as it's 901 00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,920 Speaker 2: authentic and not performative and right. The trick is like 902 00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:21,759 Speaker 2: every time you begin to perform, you got to check yourself. 903 00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,600 Speaker 1: And what's a good tactic with our tool that we 904 00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,600 Speaker 1: could use, Because I think that would be you know, 905 00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:29,359 Speaker 1: especially if you've done it for your whole life, Like 906 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,040 Speaker 1: it might be easy to slip into that. And so 907 00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:33,680 Speaker 1: how do we get ourselves out of it if we 908 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:34,640 Speaker 1: find ourselves doing that. 909 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:38,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a mindfulness practice, just like meditation. The more 910 00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:39,799 Speaker 2: you're aware of it and you stop doing it and 911 00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,919 Speaker 2: you bring yourself back, the easier it becomes to let 912 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:46,080 Speaker 2: that go and to drop back into your sensation. So 913 00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,319 Speaker 2: what you do is you go, oh, I'm doing it. 914 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,160 Speaker 2: I'm going to stop, and I'm going to begin to 915 00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:52,960 Speaker 2: allow myself to feel what my body is feeling and 916 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:55,959 Speaker 2: drop into that again and drop back into my heart 917 00:53:56,080 --> 00:54:00,719 Speaker 2: and back into presence. So the performative is performance anxiety. 918 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:04,279 Speaker 2: It's I should be acting a certain way, this is 919 00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:08,200 Speaker 2: what is expected of me, and that is not presence. 920 00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:13,319 Speaker 2: So great sex is a mindfulness practice, just like it's 921 00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:17,520 Speaker 2: orgasmic meditation. It is a practice you bring yourself back 922 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,759 Speaker 2: back back, and then you just end up being able 923 00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:22,719 Speaker 2: to be present all the time when you take off 924 00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:23,400 Speaker 2: the performance. 925 00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,919 Speaker 1: Isn't it just so interesting because obviously we're speaking about 926 00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,080 Speaker 1: mental health, but these same tools, it's the same things 927 00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,120 Speaker 1: you would do to lower anxiety, to get you know, 928 00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:36,319 Speaker 1: like everything is about being in the moment, getting back 929 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,600 Speaker 1: in your body, all of those things. So it just 930 00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:43,200 Speaker 1: is really applicable to sex and our sex lives too perfect. 931 00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:45,719 Speaker 4: Well you know what else is Yeah, what else is 932 00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:49,879 Speaker 4: interesting is that both have been taboo subjects in America. 933 00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:51,640 Speaker 3: It's true, we're just you. 934 00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,239 Speaker 4: Know, we're really finally starting to talk about mental health 935 00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,759 Speaker 4: in a way that we need to. But you know, 936 00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,080 Speaker 4: sex is still a very I think we've probably been 937 00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:01,200 Speaker 4: talking about sex law or in a less taboo way, 938 00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:03,759 Speaker 4: but it's still a very taboo subject. Yeah, and it's 939 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:10,560 Speaker 4: crazy because it's the health benefits of both are so obvious. Yeah, 940 00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:12,600 Speaker 4: you know, we seem to want to keep our people down. 941 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, some people want to keep the people French. 942 00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,880 Speaker 4: They spoke cigarettes from age six and live to be 943 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,160 Speaker 4: like a hundred, you know, like there was so much 944 00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:22,160 Speaker 4: more relax than us. 945 00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:26,120 Speaker 2: Yes, they are. They've got their own issues too. Yeah, 946 00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:29,600 Speaker 2: of course we are making progress. And you know, honestly, 947 00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:34,160 Speaker 2: thank God for podcasts because most mediums are so censored 948 00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:38,279 Speaker 2: that there is no room to talk about like I 949 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,239 Speaker 2: can't I can't write about how to give a yooning 950 00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:41,799 Speaker 2: massage on Instagram and. 951 00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:44,640 Speaker 1: I know, and it's so frustrating because that's actually it's 952 00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,920 Speaker 1: like you can go post pictures that you're basically naked in. 953 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,360 Speaker 3: This is what like we allow. 954 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,960 Speaker 1: You can go search for porn anywhere, but you can't 955 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:55,120 Speaker 1: talk about a way to grow intimately with a partner 956 00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,759 Speaker 1: and a lover, which is wild to me. It's just 957 00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,799 Speaker 1: like we're missing the mark a little bit there. 958 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why I ended up at Only Fans because 959 00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:05,120 Speaker 2: it's a place where I can have freedom of self expression. 960 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:07,560 Speaker 2: I can teach people the things they really need to know. 961 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:12,040 Speaker 2: And you know, who knows how long it'll be uncensored. 962 00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,160 Speaker 2: You know who knows how long any platform will ever 963 00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,560 Speaker 2: exist where we can have freedom of expression. But right now, 964 00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,799 Speaker 2: we've got podcasting and we've got Only Fans, and those 965 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:23,120 Speaker 2: are two places that we can go. Because I don't 966 00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:24,640 Speaker 2: want to be in a I don't want to be 967 00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:29,440 Speaker 2: in porn, and because it's performative, I'm kind of like 968 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,960 Speaker 2: the antie porn. I'm like all about heart connected, conscious 969 00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:37,399 Speaker 2: passionate love making techniques, bedroom communication skills, and sexual and 970 00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:41,840 Speaker 2: intimate health, regenerative health, et cetera. I'm a keynoting in 971 00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:46,000 Speaker 2: Florida at the Biohacking Conference. I'm doing Susan's Sexy Show 972 00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:49,960 Speaker 2: and Tell at the Biohacking Conference coming up, and really 973 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:54,080 Speaker 2: happy to be there being given the opportunity to showcase 974 00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:59,320 Speaker 2: toys and technologies that help keep our system younger because 975 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:03,520 Speaker 2: I'm really standing for ageless sexuality. Our sex keeps getting 976 00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,640 Speaker 2: better as we age, not worse fat. 977 00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:09,960 Speaker 1: I love that you're talking about that. Yeah, yeah, I 978 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,600 Speaker 1: think it's so important. Well, we love that you're doing 979 00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,600 Speaker 1: all the stuff that you're doing. So where can we 980 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,960 Speaker 1: direct our listeners. I know you've better Lover dot com 981 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,000 Speaker 1: Better Love. Where else would be a good place for 982 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,080 Speaker 1: them to find some of your resources? 983 00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:26,560 Speaker 2: Well, let's see. So what I really do is I 984 00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:28,680 Speaker 2: have a sex tips newsletter And if you go to 985 00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,960 Speaker 2: expand her Orgasmtnight dot com and get the pleasure reports, 986 00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:34,760 Speaker 2: you'll be on my newsletter. And if you go to 987 00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:38,280 Speaker 2: pumpin guide dot com, you'll be on my newsletter. And 988 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:44,040 Speaker 2: if you have any questions for me, I answer all 989 00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:46,440 Speaker 2: replies to my email newsletter. They come to my inbox. 990 00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,240 Speaker 2: Even though I have a care team and have for over, 991 00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:52,160 Speaker 2: you know, like two decades. I get all the replies 992 00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:55,920 Speaker 2: to the newsletters so that people can ask me personal 993 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,080 Speaker 2: information about their sex life because that's what makes me 994 00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:02,320 Speaker 2: good at one I do, and it's their gift to me, 995 00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,560 Speaker 2: you know. Uh So those are two good places. And 996 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:08,960 Speaker 2: then you can follow me on Instagram. That's mostly me 997 00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:12,880 Speaker 2: just pasting cute pictures of myself and Tim and all 998 00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:17,280 Speaker 2: that stuff. But that's my name at Susan Bratton and 999 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,640 Speaker 2: that's the same old only fans. It's at Susan Bratton 1000 00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:22,160 Speaker 2: OnlyFans dot com slash Susan Bratton. So these are all 1001 00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,440 Speaker 2: the places that I'm putting my best work right now. 1002 00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:30,440 Speaker 2: And on betterlover dot com there's fantastic Yoni massage videos 1003 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:35,400 Speaker 2: that are all free, so they're not explicit. They are 1004 00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:38,280 Speaker 2: me walking you through exactly what to do, describing it 1005 00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:43,200 Speaker 2: and showing you on like images of volvas that are illustrations. 1006 00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,200 Speaker 2: So that's super helpful too if you're piqued by the 1007 00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:47,360 Speaker 2: Yoni massage itself. 1008 00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:51,240 Speaker 1: Okay, I love this. Susan Bratton, thank you so much. 1009 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:51,640 Speaker 3: You want to. 1010 00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,440 Speaker 2: He is always so happy to see you both. 1011 00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,640 Speaker 1: Likewise, and thank you so much for being here. Thank 1012 00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:00,240 Speaker 1: you guys for listening. I'm gonna put all all the 1013 00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,640 Speaker 1: details for Susan in the description of this podcast because 1014 00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:03,800 Speaker 1: I know you guys are going to have a lot of. 1015 00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:07,080 Speaker 3: Questions, so send them her way. And Susan, thank you 1016 00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:07,960 Speaker 3: again for being here. 1017 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:09,400 Speaker 2: Thanks Giving. Thanks Gi