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Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, hey, get us. Latino USA is celebrating

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Speaker 1: thirty years today, ain't that Akos, and we would love

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Speaker 1: to hear from you. Dear listener, Do you want to

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Speaker 1: share with us exactly what Latino USA has meant to you?

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Speaker 1: Do you have a birthday wish for us? Leave us

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Speaker 1: a voicemail at six four six five seven to one

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Speaker 1: one two two four. That's six four six five seven

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Speaker 1: to one one two two four, and we might feature

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Speaker 1: your message in an upcoming show grass Yas. This is

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Speaker 1: Latino USA, the radio journal of News and Kurture's Latino USA.

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Speaker 2: Let us Latino USA.

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Speaker 3: I'm Maria Inojosa.

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Speaker 1: We bring you stories that are underreported but that mattered

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Speaker 1: to you, overlooked by the rest of the media, and

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Speaker 1: while the country is struggling to deal with these, we

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Speaker 1: listen to the stories of black and Latinos. Studios United

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Speaker 1: Latino Front, a cultural renaissance organizing at the forefront of

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Speaker 1: the movement. I'm Maria Inojosa.

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Speaker 4: Nose Bayan, Tony Kids, Kando is thus in For the

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Speaker 4: past year, my dad has been asking me for one

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Speaker 4: thing and one thing, only to take him back to

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Speaker 4: his native Peru. The last time he was there. It

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Speaker 4: was fifteen years ago.

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Speaker 5: I Piscalco.

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Speaker 4: My dad's memory is increasingly fragile, but there are memories,

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Speaker 4: especially of his motherland, that he holds on too tight.

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Speaker 4: He tells me he can't wait to go to the beach,

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Speaker 4: that he wants to eat fried fish and picarones, a

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Speaker 4: classic Peruvian dessert that looked like doughnuts but taste even better.

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Speaker 4: The fact that we can communicate this way in Spanish,

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Speaker 4: my dad's native language is really special. But it wasn't

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Speaker 4: always this way.

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Speaker 1: From Fudro media and PRX, It's Latino Usa. I'm marien

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Speaker 1: Rosa today in Espanol. A story about language and memory.

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Speaker 1: Like many people growing up second generation in the United States,

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Speaker 1: Anita Flores wasn't raised speaking her father's first language, Spanish.

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Speaker 1: She felt connected to her Peruvian heritage through food, through

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Speaker 1: inca gola, of course, and by visiting her grandparents in Miami.

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Speaker 1: When she actually had to speak Spanish to her paternal family,

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Speaker 1: she struggled to get her words out. But as Anita

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Speaker 1: grew older, she realized language does more than communicate ideas.

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Speaker 1: It helps you narrow long physical distances, strengthened ties, and

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Speaker 1: prisons memories. Here's Anita with her story.

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Speaker 4: So this story takes place over three trips to Lima

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Speaker 4: over the course of fifteen years. Let's start from the

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Speaker 4: beginning in two thousand and seven.

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Speaker 6: He's from the contents andraises Yamusita.

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Speaker 4: And Via the last time my dad visited his home country.

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Speaker 4: I was there too. It was our first trip to

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Speaker 4: Lima together. We're in Barranco, a historic and bohemian district

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Speaker 4: of Lima, on a narrow street lined with apartments and

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Speaker 4: a few single family Housessinashina. This is his first time

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Speaker 4: back since emigrating to the US over thirty years before.

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Speaker 4: I'm nineteen years old, about the same age my dad

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Speaker 4: was when he left Peru. He's showing me the home

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Speaker 4: he grew up in. It's quiet here, other than the

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Speaker 4: rooster on someone's roof.

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Speaker 7: The summer.

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Speaker 4: Before this trip, I had taken a film class in

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Speaker 4: college that involved us making short films. So now it's

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Speaker 4: my mission to find art everywhere with my camcorder. It's

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Speaker 4: a cloudy winter day in Lima, mid fifties and humid.

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Speaker 4: He is showing me the beach, part of the large

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Speaker 4: and deep Pacific Ocean he grew up going to I

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Speaker 4: don't have siblings. I'm a child of divorce, and the

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Speaker 4: only family I have left on my father's side in

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Speaker 4: the United States is my father. After walking for a bit,

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Speaker 4: we grab a taxi. Soon after we hoppen, my dad

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Speaker 4: begins to chat with the driver.

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Speaker 5: Oh.

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Speaker 4: He tells him that he hasn't been to Lima in

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Speaker 4: more than three decades. He left in nineteen eighty one

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Speaker 4: at twenty years old. I can't imagine starting a new

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Speaker 4: life in a new country so young. My dad is

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Speaker 4: five to six, just a bit taller than me. He

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Speaker 4: has brown skin like Mayabuelo, with big, expressive eyes like Maabuela.

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Speaker 4: Like George Costanza, He's stacky with the remains of what

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Speaker 4: was once an incredible head of hair. Unlike Costanza, he

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Speaker 4: is kind, open to having a conversation with anyone, and

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Speaker 4: extremely huggable. My dad, who is fifty three on this trip,

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Speaker 4: is my idol. He is the reason I love to

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Speaker 4: travel and try new food. He's the reason I drink

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Speaker 4: eight glasses of water a day and like to meet

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Speaker 4: new people. In two thousand and seven, I'm in a

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Speaker 4: country I've never been to, and I'm not a fluent

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Speaker 4: Spanish speaker. I'm freaked out.

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Speaker 5: What is this music? You like it?

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Speaker 8: Yes?

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Speaker 9: Is it wrong that I'm watching TV and English in Peru?

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Speaker 4: My mom thought it would be better for me to

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Speaker 4: learn Spanish after I learned English. She's a Jewish woman

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Speaker 4: of Russian and Lithuanian descent who became fluent in Spanish

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Speaker 4: after studying in Madrid for a year. In retrospect, she

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Speaker 4: realizes I should have learned both languages at once. For

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Speaker 4: my dad, he kind of just went along with it.

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Speaker 4: My parents got divorced when I was twelve, and I

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Speaker 4: primarily lived with my mom in Connecticut until moving to

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Speaker 4: Brooklyn for college. My best friends of the time were

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Speaker 4: not Spanish speakers. Really, the only time I was speaking

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Speaker 4: Spanish was with my dad. I would get so frustrated

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Speaker 4: and barrassed when I'd mess up that we'd often end

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Speaker 4: up just speaking in English. I wonder all the time

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Speaker 4: how different my life would be if I had learned

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Speaker 4: Spanish as a kid, if I was fluent. Now you

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Speaker 4: act different on camera. I act different behind the camera.

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Speaker 4: I use it as a shield to separate me from everyone.

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Speaker 4: That nervous laughter it comes out whenever anyone addresses me

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Speaker 4: behind the camera. I'm at my uncle Chita's restaurant. It's

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Speaker 4: mostly tables outside in the backyard, not a huge place,

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Speaker 4: which gives it a homie feel. Wa Cheetah is sitting

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Speaker 4: with Dad and I'm holding her chubby white cat meat cheek.

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Speaker 4: He distracts me from my deep anxiety about how fast

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Speaker 4: my thespeaks. Everything out of her mouth sounds like one long,

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Speaker 4: sing songy word that I can't understand. Butcha notices me filming.

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Speaker 4: My shame about the fact that I'm not a fluent

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Speaker 4: Spanish speaker keeps me quiet, which is sad because I'm

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Speaker 4: an extrovert. Through and through, I meet my cousins Catherine

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Speaker 4: and Fiorilla at my aunt ple Chita's restaurant. They're only

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Speaker 4: a few years older than me. Their heart shaped faces

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Speaker 4: and jet black hair remind me of my dad. Catherine

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Speaker 4: is tall and thin, at least that's how I see

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Speaker 4: her compared to me. She wears dark denimed jeans that

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Speaker 4: actually fit. Suddenly, I'm thinking about the fact that my

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Speaker 4: pants are baggy and that I look frumpy. Do I

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Speaker 4: look frumpy? They ask me many questions, but I am frozen.

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Speaker 4: I answer Sie and no to questions that require more

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Speaker 4: than a one word answer. Catherine is inquisitive, and I

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Speaker 4: feel like I'm giving her nothing back. My dad tells

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Speaker 4: me the only way to learn is to make mistakes,

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Speaker 4: but I can't handle the idea of my family hearing

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Speaker 4: me struggle in a language I should be fluent in.

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Speaker 4: I should be fluent. I've been hearing this for as

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Speaker 4: long as I can remember, from elderly Latina ladies asking

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Speaker 4: me for directions to my eleventh grade Spanish teacher, mister Collins,

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Speaker 4: who would tell my dad at parent teacher conferences, you

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Speaker 4: speak Spanish, Anita should be better in class. After our trip,

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Speaker 4: my dad exchanged email and contact information with Catherine, Fiorell

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Speaker 4: La Pocha, and the rest of the family. I leave

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Speaker 4: with memories, but not much more Spanish than what I

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Speaker 4: went in with. Catherine emailed me. I never responded. I

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Speaker 4: just let everyone go. It made it that much easier

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Speaker 4: to think to myself, I don't speak Spanish, so what's

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Speaker 4: the point. A year later, in two thousand and eight,

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Speaker 4: I moved to New York for college. I focused on

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Speaker 4: building a career for myself in the film and television world.

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Speaker 4: My trips home became less and less frequent. Life went on.

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Speaker 4: In twenty thirteen, I'm paying rent for my Brooklyn apartment

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Speaker 4: by working hard as a production assistant. One chilly November day,

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Speaker 4: I'm putting a call sheet together for an upcoming shoot,

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Speaker 4: and then I get a phone call that changes everything.

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Speaker 4: My dad in Connecticut needed life saving surgery to replace

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Speaker 4: a leaky heart valve. He then had to stay in

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Speaker 4: a rehab facility and ended up getting really depressed, his

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Speaker 4: memory weakened. He started forgetting to take his antidepressants and

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Speaker 4: heart medication. He was showering less. He forget to pay

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Speaker 4: his bills. Some years earlier, Mayabuelo had been diagnosed with

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Speaker 4: Alzheimer's and my grandmother with dementia. What's the day diference

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Speaker 4: between these two, I'm honestly not one hundred percent sure

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Speaker 4: does it matter? I see them as equally agonizing. Alzheimer's

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Speaker 4: is often hereditary. Was it coming now for my father?

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Speaker 4: One day in twenty sixteen, I was on the phone

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Speaker 4: with my dad. I brought up the fact that he

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Speaker 4: had mentioned wanting to return to Lima with me. He

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Speaker 4: had no idea what I was talking about. I got

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Speaker 4: off the phone and cried because I knew something was wrong.

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Speaker 4: The year later, I was standing waiting for my Greyhound

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Speaker 4: bus back to New York when my dad's doctor called

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Speaker 4: me to break the noose. At age sixty four, my

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Speaker 4: dad was officially diagnosed with dementia. Soon after, I moved

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Speaker 4: my dad into an assisted living facility in Connecticut. The

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Speaker 4: road ahead was frightening. More than one hundred miles away

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Speaker 4: in Brooklyn, I became a long distance caregiver. This means

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Speaker 4: that though I'm not living with my dad providing his

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Speaker 4: day to day care, I'm his health and financial power

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Speaker 4: of attorney. I manage his money, make his doctor's appointments,

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Speaker 4: plan for emergencies, hire other caregivers to take him to

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Speaker 4: those appointments, pay his bills. The list goes on and on.

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Speaker 4: In twenty eighteen, just one year after his diagnosis, my

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Speaker 4: dad can't remember what he had for dinner the previous day.

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Speaker 4: And anything he can't remember sends me into a spiral.

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Speaker 4: I can't let him see me cry. So on one visit,

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Speaker 4: I go into the hallway of his assisted living facility

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Speaker 4: and I called John, my husband, who back then was

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Speaker 4: my boyfriend. I tell him I feel like my dad

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Speaker 4: is slipping away. I've become a video and podcast producer.

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Speaker 4: So John suggests I ask my dad questions preserve his memories.

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Speaker 4: I wipe away my tears, go back to my dad

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Speaker 4: and ask if I can interview him. He immediately says, yes,

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Speaker 4: do you remember when you were in Lima for an earthquake?

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Speaker 5: I remember, I think was Maysay first. It was may

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Speaker 5: Say first, nineteen seventy.

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Speaker 4: Over the next few months, I start recording videos with him,

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Speaker 4: asking all sorts of questions. Have you ever met any

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Speaker 4: famous people?

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Speaker 5: Yes, so Jesse Jackson one time.

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Speaker 10: That's right, I say, Jesse Jackson, Hello, Hello, de Paddigar.

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Speaker 4: I wonder if I'll have kids, and at this rate,

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Speaker 4: will my dad still be around if this day comes?

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Speaker 4: What if these videos are all I have to show them?

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Speaker 4: I start really getting into it. So does my dad.

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Speaker 4: I remember how funny he is. You're a big farmer,

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Speaker 4: so am I? Yeah, yeah, loud loud farts.

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Speaker 5: I think that that's that's kind of the fun My mother.

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Speaker 11: She could be in the in the kitchen, in the bathroom,

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Speaker 11: but far away and you can't hear, and she said,

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Speaker 11: excuse me, gussies.

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Speaker 4: I struggle, but I start asking questions in Spanish the

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Speaker 4: best I can. His eyes light up.

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Speaker 9: Uh aura est is me h going mm hmm, don't

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Speaker 9: where don't they your practica espanol?

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Speaker 5: Okay?

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Speaker 4: I know that the earliest memories are often the ones

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Speaker 4: dementia patients hold on to the longest. And now I

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Speaker 4: wonder what big things held get first? Good he forget English?

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Speaker 4: What if Spanish is the only way we can communicate?

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Speaker 4: Someday I want to speak Spanish. I want to stay

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Speaker 4: connected with my dad.

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Speaker 9: To dyna una vida mui and in my opinion, guando

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Speaker 9: erra mujjoven dynae muchos.

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Speaker 4: Mixing up my verb tenses. I asked my dad to

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Speaker 4: tell me about the many jobs he had when he

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Speaker 4: was young.

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Speaker 10: In Uayor.

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Speaker 4: My dad tells me about the radio show he hosted

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Speaker 4: from New York in nineteen ninety two, local news and

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Speaker 4: music from Peru. He would play musika Cyoya, Peruvian waltz,

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Speaker 4: gondor basa. He even breaks out his radio.

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Speaker 12: Voice stay floris in staas Informacionario America.

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Speaker 4: Maybe it was always in the stars that I too

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Speaker 4: would one day work in audio Peru.

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Speaker 6: The Tora familia mitiao.

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Speaker 4: See he has many memories of his family in Peru,

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Speaker 4: cousin Boa, his neighbors, and other people he knew that

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Speaker 4: have since passed away. It's hard for me to wrap

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Speaker 4: my brain around the fact that he can't remember what

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Speaker 4: he had for breakfast, but he remembers the address of

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Speaker 4: the home he grew up in. Being a long distance

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Speaker 4: caretaker comes with a certain amount of guilt. I feel

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Speaker 4: bad when I'm not there, which is most of the time.

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Speaker 4: And I also constantly think about the fact fact that

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Speaker 4: once he's gone, there will be no one left that

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Speaker 4: would connect me to my dad in the United States.

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Speaker 4: I have this entire family in Lima that I haven't

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Speaker 4: attempted to contact in over a decade. I'm losing my

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Speaker 4: dad slowly, but I don't have to lose my family.

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Speaker 1: Coming up on Latino, USA, Anita decides to reconnect with

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Speaker 1: her family and with the language that holds the key

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Speaker 1: to her father's baby memory. Stay with us.

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Speaker 13: Yes, I'm so happy that you are celebrating your thirty years.

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Speaker 13: I just wanted to thank you so much from the

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Speaker 13: bottom of my quote, Dawn. The stories have touched me

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Speaker 13: and many of us and are henter Familia. It's just

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Speaker 13: really inquiring the fact that Natia constantly pushing forward stories

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Speaker 13: that many of us can relate to, especially people of color,

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Speaker 13: and career stories that for me in particular, being a

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Speaker 13: member of both communities is very meaningful. So with that said,

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Speaker 13: I want to say salud ahead to thirty more years

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Speaker 13: and many more to come.

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Speaker 1: Hey, we're back, and before the break, we heard the

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Speaker 1: story of Anita Flores and her journey to reconnect with

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Speaker 1: her father's native language Spanish. Here's Anita with the rest

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Speaker 1: of the story.

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Speaker 4: I want to get back in touch with my dad's family.

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Speaker 4: But how I look through my dad's papers. He's the

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Speaker 4: kind of person that writes important information on a receipt

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Speaker 4: the back of an envelope napkins. Miraculously, I find a

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Speaker 4: list of emails in a journal buried underneath a pile

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Speaker 4: of old newspapers on his tiny kitchen table. I try

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Speaker 4: every email address, and everyone bounces back except for one, Catherine's.

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Speaker 4: She was my inquisitive cousin who asked me many questions

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Speaker 4: when we met, the one who emailed me right after

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Speaker 4: my first visit to Peru, and to whom I never replied.

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Speaker 4: I decide to write.

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Speaker 9: Her my cousin, Catherine wrote back to me less than

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Speaker 9: twenty minutes later, after having not spoken for eleven years.

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Speaker 4: I'm working with audio now, so instead of filming everything

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Speaker 4: as I did in the first trip to Lima, I

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Speaker 4: now keep sort of an audio diary, and these voice

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Speaker 4: notes are my records of that first attempt to reconnect

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Speaker 4: with my family in Peru, solo without my father's help.

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Speaker 4: Catherine writes to me with so much love, the way

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Speaker 4: you talk to well family. She gives me a full

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Speaker 4: breakdown of all our relatives. The first and last time

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Speaker 4: I saw Catherine, she was in her early twenties. Now

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Speaker 4: twelve years later, she sends me an update on her

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Speaker 4: four year old son.

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Speaker 9: Quenta memas tea.

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Speaker 4: That's funny, Catherine asks me if I've gotten married yet.

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Speaker 4: The conversation turns serious soon though. I tell her about

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Speaker 4: my dad's diagnosis and how I'm taking care of him.

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Speaker 4: Get amost visitor la familia in Peru. Pero aora is dificile,

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Speaker 4: lociento parami alciencia, estes annos pasados, estava avert aver gonzadomanol,

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Speaker 4: And just like that, more than a decade of silence

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Speaker 4: is over. We write to each other a bit more,

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Speaker 4: and then emails turn into WhatsApp messages.

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Speaker 2: Oh la.

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Speaker 5: Demandovelis.

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Speaker 4: Catherine sends me updates on her life. She lovingly coaches

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Speaker 4: little Thago, my nephew, to send me kisses. We start

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Speaker 4: speaking on the phone, and then it hits me, I've

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Speaker 4: been missing out on this family, this love because I

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Speaker 4: was self conscious about my Spanish the last time I

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Speaker 4: went to Lima. My dad planned the trip, but that's

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Speaker 4: no longer an option. I need to create my own

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Speaker 4: bonds with my family in Peru, and I won't be

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Speaker 4: able to do that while I'm caregiving for my father.

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Speaker 4: I make the difficult decision to go back to Lima,

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Speaker 4: this time without Poppy. Cousin Katherine offered to let me

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Speaker 4: stay with her. It's January twenty nineteen when I get

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Speaker 4: to Catherine's salmon colored three floor house she shares with

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Speaker 4: her sister Fiorilla. I meet my nephew Thiago. He's a

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Speaker 4: little shy at first.

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Speaker 3: Oda.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I also meet my four year old niece, Makareena.

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Speaker 4: She's my cousin Fiorilla's daughters. Hey, she has a laugh

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Speaker 4: that makes my heart melt. We're playing with her tiny

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Speaker 4: new kitten Bandido Tom, named after Tom of the infamous

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Speaker 4: Tom and Jerry. At first, it's scary here without my dad,

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Speaker 4: but then it's not scary, it's it's wonderful. I have

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Speaker 4: a headache every day because I've never spoken this much

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Speaker 4: for this long, but my family sees me. There's no

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Speaker 4: camcorder this time. I'm using an iPhone now to record

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Speaker 4: moments with my family, but I'm not hiding. I have

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Speaker 4: no choice but to speak. I capture as much audio

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Speaker 4: and video as I can to share with my dad.

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Speaker 4: When I'm back, I have every member of the family

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Speaker 4: send their love to him.

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Speaker 1: I'll lamassos.

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Speaker 4: When I get back to the US, I rush to

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Speaker 4: visit my dad in the assisted living facility in Connecticut.

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Speaker 4: I have so much to share with him. What did

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Speaker 4: you think of all those videos I showed you, Well,

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Speaker 4: they are very emotional.

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Speaker 5: Here to see my families, my friends so many years, and.

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Speaker 12: I hope I can't go there to Pru soon we

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Speaker 12: can go together to crew can see them.

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Speaker 4: Seeing the faces of his cousins and nephews expressing their

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Speaker 4: love for him, it ignites something in my dad. He

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Speaker 4: starts calling Potra, Jesus and Catherine every week. How would

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Speaker 4: you feel if we switched you to You know, I

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Speaker 4: can get you a calling card, but it's much less

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Speaker 4: expensive than long distance. Do you know what a calling

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Speaker 4: card is?

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Speaker 13: Yeah?

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Speaker 11: A calling card?

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Speaker 7: Well in pendo.

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Speaker 4: Card see Bubby see As soon as it's twenty twenty

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Speaker 4: two and my dad's phone bill has skyrocketed, he forgets

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Speaker 4: that he's making call Salema multiple times a week. One

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Speaker 4: month his bill is six hundred dollars. I get rid

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Speaker 4: of his long distance and switch him to calling cards.

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Speaker 4: He's also started having balance issues, falling out of chairs,

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Speaker 4: out of his bed. We've gone to the er a

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Speaker 4: few times now. He has a bed guard and a

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Speaker 4: chair with arms that he can't fall out of even

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Speaker 4: if he dozes off. My Boppy's dementia progression is like

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Speaker 4: a rubber band. The timeline stretches out, but at any

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Speaker 4: moment it can snap back and things can change fast.

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Speaker 4: He needs to be prompted to shower, get dressed, eat

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Speaker 4: and take his meds. But he still has his memories

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Speaker 4: of Peru. And one thing has become very clear as

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Speaker 4: he now asks me the same question over and over,

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Speaker 4: when can we go to Lima? It would take me

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Speaker 4: a full year to fulfill my dad's biggest wish, a

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Speaker 4: medication schedule, a plan with his memory care doctor meal,

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Speaker 4: prep a wheelchair for the airport constant supervision. But it's happening.

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Speaker 4: Fifteen years after our first trip together to Lima and

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Speaker 4: four years after my first visit without my dad, We're

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Speaker 4: all going back, my husband included. My dad is.

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Speaker 2: Elatedita Comota to Yo Pappy heat Tamata to John Tembo records,

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Speaker 2: Totius is tamutus. He is don continent, say this, and

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Speaker 2: he's been calling family in Lima multiple times a week

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Speaker 2: to remind them we're coming.

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Speaker 4: He loves to call me right after and be like,

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Speaker 4: they're so excited we're coming. His energy is very kid.

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Speaker 4: On Christmas Eve, Hi.

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Speaker 7: Anita's me Dad, I as you know, I have my suitcase.

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Speaker 7: I'm very excited at all the trip because Chelse's like

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Speaker 7: a week away.

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Speaker 4: Now, there's no time like the present, Especially with a

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Speaker 4: disease like dementia. It's not going to be easy, but

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Speaker 4: it's happening this time. I'm more confident speaking Spanish. I've

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Speaker 4: been taking online lessons, so is my husband. This is

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Speaker 4: not scientific, but I feel in my heart that speaking

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Speaker 4: to my dad in Spanish is soothing, It's familiar to him.

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Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: It's late March twenty twenty three and we're packing Dad

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Speaker 4: and heading to the airport tomorrow.

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Speaker 5: What do you think is true?

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Speaker 3: Hmm.

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Speaker 4: Dad is acting like he's getting ready for a first date.

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Speaker 4: He's nervous. Should I bring dress shoes? He asks me.

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Speaker 4: I'm nervous too. I feel like we're all at the

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Speaker 4: top of a roller coaster, just waiting for the plunge,

395
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 4: see especially La. And we decide it's too hot for

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Speaker 4: dress shoes and Lima's eighty five degree weather. As we

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Speaker 4: bring my dad's luggage downstairs about to head to the airport,

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Speaker 4: residents at the assisted living facility excitedly wish my dad well.

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Speaker 4: He gives a security guard a handshake and a hug.

400
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Speaker 4: They know exactly where he's going because he's been telling

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Speaker 4: them four months.

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Speaker 3: Outa esperando.

403
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Speaker 4: We're at the airport in Connecticut, two hours to go

404
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 4: before we can board our flight to Lima, so I

405
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 4: whip out my H one N recorder to kill some.

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Speaker 3: Time to bien emosino, but see and also and feelful.

407
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 4: Dad and I are both very in our heads right now.

408
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 4: He wonders what this reunion will be like. I worry

409
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Speaker 4: that I'll resort back to my nineteen year old self

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Speaker 4: and just let my dad and husband talk the whole

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Speaker 4: time while I obsess over if I'm being a good caregiver.

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00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 4: None of us sleep on the plane. My dad doesn't

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Speaker 4: watch TV or listen to music. He asks me multiple

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00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 4: times to show him the little map on the screen

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Speaker 4: that tracks how close we are to our destination.

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Speaker 5: Jo Hip just okay, yama alima, that's.

417
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Speaker 7: Lima.

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Speaker 4: It seems like something has clicked for my dad. He's

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Speaker 4: pockative and relieved after plenty of anxious pacing at the airport.

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Speaker 4: We're here. It's us into right into It's midnight. As

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Speaker 4: we leave the airport, I see a man holding a

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Speaker 4: sign that has my name on it, which makes me

423
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 4: feel like a celebrity. Cousin Catherine has arranged a driver

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00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 4: to pick us up and bring us to her house.

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00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 4: We pass a woman holding a large Peruvian flag as

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Speaker 4: she greets a loved one. I know it's not for us,

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00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 4: but it feels like it is. I Catherine opens the

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Speaker 4: door and immediately gives my dad the biggest hug It's

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00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 4: a lovely feeling to return to this house and have

430
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 4: it feel familiar. The next morning, I wake up sweating

431
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 4: birds like these will be my alarm clock every day

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Speaker 4: at six thirty am for the rest of the trip.

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Speaker 4: A climate pattern called El Nino has made early autumn

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Speaker 4: and Lima unseasonably hot. I soon come to learn that

435
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 4: the sun will be our enemy from ten thirty am

436
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 4: until four pm every day. AC units aren't really a

437
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 4: thing in Peru's homes, but Catherine has every fan running.

438
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 13: Yeah.

439
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

440
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 4: Before we move to the airbnb we rented for our

441
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 4: eleven days stay, my prima treats us to a big

442
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 4: homemade breakfast. Her sons, my nephews, Joaquin and Thiago, are

443
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,479
Speaker 4: at school now, so it's just the four of us,

444
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 4: which puts me at ease, myself feeling more relaxed speaking

445
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 4: Spanish in a smaller group. She makes us fresh juice

446
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 4: with mango and maraguya cote.

447
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 5: Wow.

448
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 4: Catherine fixes my dad a Peruvian tamal sandwich, something he

449
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 4: hasn't had in twenty years. So I can only understand

450
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 4: half of what my cousin is saying. Being here together

451
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 4: feels really natural. I take the words I understand and

452
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 4: piece them together like a puzzle. Ayer Jannio estamos in Fermo,

453
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 4: Inmo and fermos iyaorabien esta in Fermot.

454
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 3: We know almost dying.

455
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 10: No, I feel fine, but I'm extoco communic comericyvez. Look

456
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 10: at Melia, John and a Medicinas.

457
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 4: I knew this trip wouldn't be easy. We did our

458
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 4: best to prepare, but you can't prepare for the exact

459
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 4: moment everyone gets stomach sick, or how awful I'd feel

460
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 4: from just five minutes in this insane heat, or the

461
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 4: moment Dad wanders out of our airbnb on his own.

462
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 4: That's happened twice now, John, that's sick, some kind of

463
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 4: stomach bug, or maybe drink some tapwater. And so I

464
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 4: was on domestic duty, laundry and also making sure my

465
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 4: dad was fed and had his pills. And let's say,

466
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 4: at the core of my exhaustion, it's just the constant

467
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 4: reminder that he is in decline. You know, he only

468
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 4: really has the energy, or at least yesterday, only had

469
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 4: the energy to sit. It's like he's not there. I

470
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 4: just didn't I didn't expect it to be hard in

471
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 4: the way that it is. Oh and I guess it

472
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 4: doesn't help that I'm sick right now. My heart hurts

473
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 4: from watching my dad seemingly disappear into his illness. This

474
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 4: extreme al Nino heat makes it hard to plan outings

475
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 4: to the beach. During the day, when my dad is

476
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 4: at his highest energy is also when it's too hot

477
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 4: to go, So we head over at sunset.

478
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 7: See.

479
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 4: Dad's not as talkative as I assumed he'd be, but

480
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 4: I figure once he gets a whiff of that ocean breeze,

481
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 4: he'll be transported back to his child.

482
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 14: Gay Guy era sup the Lape.

483
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 7: See.

484
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 4: In the past, Dad talked about going to the beach

485
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 4: with Butcha and Jesus when they were kids. He's told

486
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:24,359
Speaker 4: me repeatedly that he dreams about this beach. But now

487
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 4: he's still and quiet. It's happening the thing where he's

488
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 4: just staring. I feel like I'm sitting next to a

489
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 4: duplicate of my dad, except this dad seems empty.

490
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 5: I am enough.

491
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not reacted the way I expected, which is okay.

492
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 3: Just feel bad. I don't know it makes him sad

493
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 3: or something.

494
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 4: It feels like my dad needs some kind of key

495
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 4: to unlock a memory. I thought the beach would be

496
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 4: the key to everything. But maybe the key doesn't work

497
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 4: because the memories aren't there anymore. He's looking for the past,

498
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 4: and I'm looking for words to communicate. We're both searching

499
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 4: for something. We're about to do a big sit down

500
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 4: dinner with every family member that I've met, and I

501
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 4: am extremely nervous. I'm starting to look for words and

502
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 4: Spanish in my head now, like I can collect them

503
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 4: and save them for later.

504
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:38,879
Speaker 9: Please pray for me, especially Almente AQI reque this, I say,

505
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 9: oh Ano, pero commos secocnfrijes anti putros picarones.

506
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 4: This feels nice. I'm just having a conversation with my family.

507
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 4: I couldn't have imagined this when I first came to

508
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 4: Peru at nineteen.

509
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 9: In Sespon, I've gathered the courage to sit at the

510
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:11,280
Speaker 9: kids table with my niece and nephews. I'm conducting important

511
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 9: research here, finding out how they think my Spanish.

512
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 4: Is yes, yes, yes, they yes no. Fiago gives me

513
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 4: a ten where they're lying to me. I also asked

514
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 4: my cousin Fiorrella, what she thinks of my Spanish and

515
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 4: how it's changed from the first time we met fifteen

516
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 4: years ago.

517
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 7: And this is the.

518
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 5: Amil comus is all along.

519
00:37:51,960 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 9: Boya practica andes todavida pero pam Yes. Most important is

520
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 9: sing la confidantes important.

521
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 4: Learning Spanish has shown me a love from a kind

522
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 4: of family I've never experienced before, the kind that eats

523
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 4: huge meals together, that talks about food while we're eating,

524
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 4: that sends WhatsApp messages of cats, felice vines, memes and

525
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 4: voice messages. And though my Spanish isn't perfect, it's good

526
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 4: enough that I can connect with my family. I can

527
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 4: speak to my dad in his mother's tongue, the language

528
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 4: he learned first and maybe forgets last. We're heading to

529
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 4: lunch at my Dia Jesus's house. The door is open

530
00:38:53,440 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 4: for us. When we get to her place, Dad lights

531
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,919
Speaker 4: up in a way I haven't seen in a very

532
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 4: long time. He's smiling, laughing, talkative. They act like siblings.

533
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 4: His susa is making a joke. Daniel, do you recognize me?

534
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 4: Being able to joke about my dad's memory breaks at

535
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,240
Speaker 4: tension and makes me feel less alone as a caregiver,

536
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 4: which is nice for every time Boppy gets quiet and

537
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 4: disappears into his dementia. There are also the energetic, happy

538
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 4: moments when he's still my dad, like when we're on

539
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 4: our way to eat anticucos and picaresco with the family

540
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 4: after spending the day with everyone at Pocha's house. There's

541
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 4: nine of us making our way down the steps past

542
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 4: al Pente de losuspiros. As the two of us are

543
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 4: walking together behind our big family group. I ask him

544
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 4: what this trip has meant to him?

545
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 6: Who significant muccu or emoes demsel borbera pasalo borberto paso

546
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 6: to muco recordos spero tratun no bevid precincti, Jose palo

547
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 6: pfio bevitd precincti.

548
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 4: I'm realizing that perhaps family is what brings my dad

549
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 4: to life now. They are the key to everything. And

550
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 4: though I wonder all the time how different things could

551
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 4: have been if I had tried to stay connected fifteen

552
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 4: years ago, none of that matters. My dad tells me

553
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 4: that he wants to live in the present now and

554
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 4: that's all we have. It's our final day and lim

555
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 4: our flight isn't until that night, so we have a

556
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 4: big lunch with my cousin's nieces and nephews when we

557
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 4: say goodbye to Catherine, I am crying. My dad brings

558
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 4: me in for a hug and tells me it's okay.

559
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 4: He feels like my dad. Though I'm taking care of

560
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 4: him now, he's still my father. It's sad to miss family,

561
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 4: but it's really nice to have a family to miss.

562
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,240
Speaker 4: I still struggled with my Spanish, and though it isn't perfect,

563
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,720
Speaker 4: I didn't hide behind my dad this time. The memories

564
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 4: I have of Lima fifteen years ago are moments of

565
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 4: anxiety and regret Beneson. Memories of my aunt's telling stories

566
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 4: about my dad, memories of flying paper planes with my nephews,

567
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 4: memories of countless meals together. I take comfort in the

568
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 4: fact that no matter what happens, my dad is a

569
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 4: part of me. As long as I keep in touch

570
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 4: with my family and speak my father's tongue, I'll always

571
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 4: be connected to him. I've got a long way to go, Beroes.

572
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 4: I just had to look up if I use that

573
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 4: verb correctly, which I did. See progress.

574
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Anita Flores and Julia Rocha,

575
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: who was edited by Andreanroes Crusado and mixed by Julia Crusoe.

576
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: The Latino USA team includes Marta Martinez, Mike Sergeant, Daisy Contreras,

577
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:04,760
Speaker 1: Victoria Estra, Patrisa Subanan, and Elizabeth Lento Torres. Our editorial

578
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: directory is Fernanda Santos. Our director of Engineering is Stephanie Lebau.

579
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 1: Our associate engineers are Gabriel Lebiez and JJ Carubin. Our

580
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 1: marketing manager is Luis Luna. Our theme music was composed

581
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,320
Speaker 1: by Sanger Rubinos, I'm your host and executive producer Marie

582
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: Na Posta. Join us again on our next episode. In

583
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: the meantime, look for us on social media and acquordad

584
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: not Yes Chao.

585
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,800
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586
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587
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Speaker 8: dot org, the Ford Foundation, working with visionaries on the

588
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:52,720
Speaker 8: front lines of social change worldwide, and Latino USA thirtieth

589
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:57,640
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590
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 8: the Brett Family Foundation, Alonso Comtu, Carmen Rita Wong Vamos Enterprises,

591
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 8: the National Association of Hispanic Journalists, April Gessler, doctor Elmo Randolph,

592
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:16,480
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593
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 8: Additional donors include Grace Sanchez and Maria A. Camacho.

594
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna worry about being locked in later and

595
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 4: just finish this.

596
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 5: All right.

597
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 2: Uh?

598
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,320
Speaker 4: I feel like I am. I don't know if I

599
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 4: closed it wrong, but I feel like I'm London. Are

600
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 4: you kidding me? Oh good? I'm glad we're recording all

601
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 4: of this too,