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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for refusing to tell my

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Speaker 1: family which of my baby girls I adopted? And this

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Speaker 1: comes from user names be hard, because they do be I,

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Speaker 1: a single twenty year old female, gave birth to a

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Speaker 1: baby girl about two months ago, and at the same

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Speaker 1: time adopted a second baby girl who was born about

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Speaker 1: three days before. So one made and one obtained.

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Speaker 2: I wonder about the impetus thoughts of this situation.

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Speaker 3: Or perhaps what is the catalyst?

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Speaker 1: All right, So the daughter that I had in my

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Speaker 1: uterus I will call Rose, and the daughter that I

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Speaker 1: didn't carry I will call Lily. I got pregnant with

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Speaker 1: Rose about the same time that my best friend, who

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Speaker 1: I'll call Anna, got pregnant with Lily. While I was

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Speaker 1: ecstatic about being pregnant, Anna was not. And this is

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Speaker 1: the best friend who I'll call Anna, who got pregnant

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Speaker 1: with Lily. Yes, Anna felt that she wasn't in a

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Speaker 1: good place emotionally, financially, or any other way to have

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Speaker 1: a child. She told me she was considering terminating the pregnancy,

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Speaker 1: but that she wished her child could have a good

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Speaker 1: life somewhere else instead of just being thrown away. But

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Speaker 1: anytime she pictured putting her child up for adoption. She

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Speaker 1: remembered all the stories of abusive adoptive parents. She said

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Speaker 1: that she felt helpless because there didn't seem to be

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Speaker 1: any good answers. And that's when I came up with

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Speaker 1: a hesitant plan. So now we're getting the impetus. But

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Speaker 1: we decided that if after Lily's birth, Anna still didn't

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Speaker 1: feel like she could raise her, I would adopt Lily

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Speaker 1: and raise the girls as twins. Anna didn't want Lily

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Speaker 1: to know she was adopted, but I hated the idea

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Speaker 1: of lying to a daughter of mine. We decided that

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Speaker 1: when Lilly was old enough to understand, I would explain

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Speaker 1: that she was adopted. If at that point Anna felt ready,

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Speaker 1: we would tell Lily that Anna was her bio mom,

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Speaker 1: and if not, then we would say that her mother

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Speaker 1: wasn't ready for her to know who she was. This way,

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Speaker 1: Lily could live her life and Anna didn't need to

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Speaker 1: be worried about Lily because she could check on her anytime,

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Speaker 1: and Anna would be able to continue working on getting

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Speaker 1: her life in order. All right, really quick pause? Yes,

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Speaker 1: what do we think about the lie? Oh? So Obi

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Speaker 1: is lying to the daughter.

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Speaker 3: Potentially that might mess up Lily in the long term

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Speaker 3: to find out that her mother has been right there

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Speaker 3: the whole time, or is it's.

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Speaker 1: Cute it's like my mom's been right here the whole time.

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Speaker 4: Well, I I think, Dan, I think what a scenario

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Speaker 4: that could be is like, uh, Anna the friend right

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Speaker 4: with the baby. Anna could be kind of like an

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Speaker 4: auntie and it's like like, hey, you know this is

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Speaker 4: your Maybe you could you could honestly even explain it like.

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Speaker 5: Hey, you came from from Anna.

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Speaker 4: You see your nose, You got your nose from her,

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Speaker 4: Da da da da, and and you know, because it

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Speaker 4: sounds like she'd be know her and be some have

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Speaker 4: some involvement in her life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, Like I feel like if you

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Speaker 1: can continue to give and this is something we've talked

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Speaker 1: about on the show before, if you continue to give

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Speaker 1: age appropriate truths throughout their life, it's they're never going

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Speaker 1: to be blindsided.

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Speaker 3: That's the thing that I feel like you have to

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Speaker 3: be Yeah, what she said, you have to give those

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Speaker 3: truths early on. Yeah, because just not like finding out

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Speaker 3: later's down the line that your mother's been there the

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Speaker 3: whole time.

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Speaker 1: It's just you're traumatic. Sorry, Yeah, it could be traumatic.

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Speaker 3: It all depends on how they.

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Speaker 1: So far were saying you should not rely in this relationship.

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Speaker 4: I think no, I'm I'm standing on it. I think

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Speaker 4: no too, so impetus.

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Speaker 1: I chose not to have any of my family in

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Speaker 1: the room during the birth because I wasn't comfortable with

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Speaker 1: them seeing me like that, and Anna was fighting with

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Speaker 1: her family at the time, so Anna and I were

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Speaker 1: the only ones in the room for each other during

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Speaker 1: the births. After Lily was born, Anna still wanted me

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Speaker 1: to adopt Lily and also said that she didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be in her life more than she originally thought.

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Speaker 1: We decided that she would be the godmother of both

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Speaker 1: girls and I would be their mother. When it was

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Speaker 1: time for us to go home, I organized to get

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Speaker 1: together for my family to meet both of my daughters,

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Speaker 1: and we went forward with the adoption.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, did she say she wanted she didn't want to

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Speaker 3: be in their life or she did want to be

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Speaker 3: more in their life?

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Speaker 1: Basically, Anna also said that she did want to be

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Speaker 1: in her life more than she originally thought. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was good.

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Speaker 4: Yeah got me the scenario that I mentioned before. We

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Speaker 4: could kind of be like the auntie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So as soon as my grandmother met my baby,

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Speaker 1: she asked me which one was my daughter, and I

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Speaker 1: replied they both were. She rolled her eyes and said

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Speaker 1: that I knew what she meant. I told her that no,

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Speaker 1: I don't, because they're both my daughters. She got mad

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Speaker 1: about that and asked me which one was my real daughter,

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Speaker 1: and my parents backed her up, saying that I should

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Speaker 1: tell them which daughter I had adopted. I got mad

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Speaker 1: and asked them why it mattered. Both babies are my children.

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Speaker 1: I'm breastfeeding both of them. I named both of them,

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Speaker 1: and I was there through the entire pregnancy for both

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Speaker 1: of them, even if I only carried one of them myself,

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Speaker 1: which I understand a little bit. So here comes another lie.

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Speaker 1: Do you lie to your family to make sure there's

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Speaker 1: no favoritism between the two daughters. I think I loved

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Speaker 1: thinking face.

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Speaker 2: I think there's a world where you could be like,

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Speaker 2: I'm not telling you for a hot minute, and then

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Speaker 2: once you tell your daughters, then you know, like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: whoever knows is yeah, yeah, I definitely don't think it

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Speaker 2: should matter to the family. But just in concern to

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Speaker 2: op he's lying or not, I think I think the

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Speaker 2: route maybe could keep like admit you know, not tell

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Speaker 2: them the truth.

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Speaker 1: So you are to tell lords lie to the family.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm voting towards that, but I'm

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Speaker 3: saying op could do that up until they tell their

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Speaker 3: daughter choose.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So lie because until the truth is revealed to

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Speaker 1: the daughter if she wants to do that, so lie.

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Speaker 1: So lie. It is good to lie in relationships.

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Speaker 3: Well that's really a lie. It's just not.

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Speaker 1: Telling tru ah. So lies of omission are okay.

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Speaker 3: No, and no, it just depends in this situation.

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Speaker 1: In this situation, lies of omission are okay.

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Speaker 3: It's not a lie though, you're just because they know

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Speaker 3: exactly what you're hiding from them, so you're not lying.

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Speaker 1: You're just not like getting me the truth. So omitting

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Speaker 1: the truth is okay.

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Speaker 3: But you're not even omitting it. You're just being like.

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Speaker 1: You are omitting you can't know. Yeah, it is okay

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Speaker 1: to plead the fifth. It is our country given right.

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Speaker 3: Until until the day comes when you tell.

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Speaker 1: The daughter okay, after they all think for your answer

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Speaker 1: is in the chat. So this led to a fight

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Speaker 1: with my family insisting that I tell them which daughter

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Speaker 1: is which, and me insisting that my grandmother apologized for

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Speaker 1: implying that one of them wasn't my real daughter. My

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Speaker 1: Mary told me I am being dramatic, pointlessly, stubborn, ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: and that they just wanted to know when dealing with

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Speaker 1: the girls which one was the granddaughter. Well, I kicked

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Speaker 1: them all out, dang good and said unless they apologize

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Speaker 1: and stop asking which daughters adopted, they would not get

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Speaker 1: to see either of them. After they left, I sent

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Speaker 1: out a text saying that I will tell them which

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Speaker 1: one is adopted when I what. I explained to her

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Speaker 1: that she has adopted. Shout out Sophia for the foreshadows.

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Speaker 5: Got them.

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Speaker 1: I like that. I like that. Thanks, But adopted or not,

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Speaker 1: they are both my children.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, I think.

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Speaker 3: I think the reasons why she's making these decisions makes

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Speaker 3: decisions make a lot of sense. So you protect the

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Speaker 3: kids from.

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Speaker 1: Favoritism, I yeah, to protect the kids from favoritism, I agree.

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Speaker 1: I also reiterated that until I get an apology and

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Speaker 1: they agreed to view my daughters equally, they will not

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Speaker 1: see the girls and I will not be talking to them.

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Speaker 1: I received a massive amount of text ranging from them

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Speaker 1: demanding that I let them see the kids and telling

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Speaker 1: me how I was cruel and selfish to deprive my

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Speaker 1: daughters of their love, to pleading with me to tell

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Speaker 1: them which girl which and let them see my daughters.

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Speaker 1: It would be so easy just say like, hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: just I'm going to treat both your daughters the same.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're cruel and selfish for only wanting to treat

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Speaker 4: the one that's related to you by blood good and

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Speaker 4: like completely disregarding the other.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. After a few weeks of this, I said enough.

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Speaker 1: The stress of trying to take care of two babies

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Speaker 1: adoptedly and deal with my family was too much, so

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Speaker 1: I sent out another text telling them that I was

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Speaker 1: serious when I said I won't tell them which daughters adopted.

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Speaker 1: I then told them that I can't take their constant

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Speaker 1: text anymore. And anyone that texts me something that doesn't

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Speaker 1: start with an apology is getting blocked.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Good idea, bad idea.

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Speaker 3: What do you think that's fair based off their behavior?

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Speaker 4: Anyone who comes to her with the same mindset of like, hey,

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Speaker 4: I don't believe your adopted daughter is your real daughter

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Speaker 4: quote unquote.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're blocked out, which I feel like she has

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Speaker 1: already given them all enough warning. Yeah, and it's just

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Speaker 1: like it's a barack, like she she's at a breaking

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Speaker 1: point and now she's like, I'm gonna block you if

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Speaker 1: you keep doing.

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Speaker 4: That, and it's just again, it's just like, why would

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Speaker 4: you ever treat an adopted daughter differently?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so most of my family realized I wouldn't back

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Speaker 1: down and stop texting. I did have to block my brother,

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Speaker 1: who sent me two paragraphs about why I should just

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Speaker 1: give our parents and grandparents what they want because it

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Speaker 1: isn't worth the fight.

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Speaker 3: Okay, then why are you it's not worth it to

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Speaker 3: have you send a two paragraph I know blocked.

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Speaker 1: I also had to block my mom, who texted me

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Speaker 1: to tell me that no one was going to help

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Speaker 1: me take care of the children until I told them

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Speaker 1: the truth about which is my real daughter? Why does

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Speaker 1: it matter?

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Speaker 5: It literally doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: The fact that they're behaving this way shows that they

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Speaker 3: are they want to favor the bio.

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Speaker 4: Child and the end that they will And also, yo,

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Speaker 4: what grandparent is it?

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Speaker 5: Like? Oh, I get too.

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Speaker 4: Grandpa babies, hooray double the baby?

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Speaker 5: Why don't you want more babies?

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Speaker 1: Anna agrees with me that they shouldn't care which one

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Speaker 1: is adopted and says she wishes that my family didn't

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Speaker 1: even know that one girl was adopted. Well, yesterday, both

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Speaker 1: babies were crying, Lily needed a diaper change, and Rose

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Speaker 1: was hungry, and I realized that my mom was right.

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Speaker 1: I can't be in both places at once and I

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Speaker 1: can't take care of them by myself. Luckily, Anna was

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Speaker 1: there and she was able to take care of them

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Speaker 1: both and get them settled because I broke down sobbing

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Speaker 1: and was completely useless. Now I'm starting to wonder if

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Speaker 1: I am a bad mother for not letting my daughter

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Speaker 1: see their family, and if I've chosen the wrong hill

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Speaker 1: to die on. Ps Anna was able to cheer me up.

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Speaker 1: We cuddled together and with the babies on the sofa,

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Speaker 1: eating ice cream and chocolate most of the night. She

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Speaker 1: is also the one who convinced me to write this

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Speaker 1: post because she's obsessed with Reddit and there is an update.

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Speaker 1: There is an update, but yeah, what is like? Essentially,

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Speaker 1: Op is at a breaking point because she doesn't have

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Speaker 1: any help from her family, and she's wondering do I

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Speaker 1: need the family's help more that I need to prove

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Speaker 1: that I like to my family that both these people

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Speaker 1: should be treated equally.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, raising two new babies at once is

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Speaker 4: definitely a tall pass.

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Speaker 1: She's definitely not the a hole to be. I think

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Speaker 1: the question is like, should she basically not die in

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Speaker 1: this hill so she can get support from her family?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, She's like, is it, like, low key better to

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Speaker 4: have someone to help tend and care for the needs

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Speaker 4: of these babies because I might be spread too thin.

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Speaker 4: I would say it's Anna's here. It kind of feels

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Speaker 4: like Anna's.

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Speaker 3: They're co parenting.

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Speaker 5: It seems like they're co.

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Speaker 4: Parenting, and that Anna's also getting more involved. Like ops,

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Speaker 4: like I broke down, I couldn't do anything. Anna steps

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Speaker 4: up to the point. Yeah, which is great.

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Speaker 3: So I think there's a level of maybe Anna when

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Speaker 3: she first found out she was pregnant, like fear of

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Speaker 3: doing it alone because we don't really know what the

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Speaker 3: situation with the baby that he was, and now faced

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Speaker 3: with well, I can do this. I want a relationship

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Speaker 3: or I want some some kind of relationship with my child,

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Speaker 3: and I have my friend to do it with me,

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Speaker 3: and it like it seems maybe a little bit easier Danna.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it still goes back to I mean like Anna, Yes,

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Speaker 1: is involved, but it seems like Ope still needs the

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Speaker 1: familial help regardless of Anna's involvement.

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Speaker 3: I don't think op would be the a hole for

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Speaker 3: going back to our family.

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Speaker 1: I think it's so hard is it worth? Basically, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is the familial help worth basically saying this is

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Speaker 1: like this is the truth? Low key.

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Speaker 4: I think it could be because a babies are like

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Speaker 4: probably like the hardest to take care of theirs, the

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Speaker 4: most need time and attention that you need to put

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Speaker 4: towards a baby. And two that's when they'll like remember

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Speaker 4: and like uh soak in everything the least. So like

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Speaker 4: if you like, let's say that the grandparents helped up

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Speaker 4: until like the age of one or something like that,

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Speaker 4: and then and then OPI's like, hey, after all this time,

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Speaker 4: you're still not treating them equally, and obviously OPI will

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Speaker 4: have like a lot more like data and knowledge on

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Speaker 4: how they've how they've interacted. Maybe at that point you're

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Speaker 4: like you failed the test. I'm going to like safeguard

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Speaker 4: them again, so you don't like, uh treat them wrong.

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Speaker 3: Also bad idea, you you switch it, you tell the

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Speaker 3: baby is the bio baby? Bad idea?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it could be, but then they might

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Speaker 1: just test the babies that it's.

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Speaker 3: So bad, that it just so crazy, it's just.

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Speaker 5: The impetus of an actually great idea.

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Speaker 1: Also like they need support, but not familial support, and

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Speaker 1: do you want your children around people that are going

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Speaker 1: to have bad values?

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Speaker 3: But you're sure, but monetary support exactly doesn't have the

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Speaker 3: funds to do that, right, And so it's like fathers

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Speaker 3: in the picture exactly, like no second parents providing a

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Speaker 3: secondary income.

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Speaker 1: But I, you know, I think it's like here, here,

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Speaker 1: here's the combo. Here's the combo. You need help. Let's

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Speaker 1: say you don't have enough funds for a nanny, which

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Speaker 1: maybe it seems like OP doesn't tell the parents the

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Speaker 1: opposite of what's true, and then have them help under

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Speaker 1: your supervision.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, what do you think?

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Speaker 4: And then ultimately, like you ultimately reveal yeah later, so

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Speaker 4: then so then they do the.

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Speaker 5: Reverse you're you're going with the switch.

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Speaker 4: That's what we're saying, is that legitimately suggistic it generally, Well,

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Speaker 4: she needs help.

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Speaker 1: Ye are you saying she shouldn't have help?

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Speaker 3: No? No, no, I think she needs it. I think

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Speaker 3: she needs it.

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Speaker 1: But what do you what do you guys, what do

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Speaker 1: you guys think I would understand if she went back

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Speaker 1: to the I would understand. I would understand, And I

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Speaker 1: think like only you can understand what to what it needs?

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Speaker 3: Yeah help, only o P can decide if she needs

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Speaker 3: that help more than she thinks. You know, being around

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Speaker 3: them is a bad idea.

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Speaker 1: Let's go into the updates. Thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: all the support. I was shocked when I saw how

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Speaker 1: many people had commented, because I honestly expected to find

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Speaker 1: maybe three or four. I tried to read the comments quickly,

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Speaker 1: and I want to say a few things that I

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Speaker 1: saw multiple people say. One, everyone knows that Anna was

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Speaker 1: pregnant and that one of them is her biokid. Anna

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Speaker 1: and I do look pretty similar on a basic level.

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Speaker 1: We both have similar colors of brown hair, dark brown eyes,

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Speaker 1: and we're both white. I'm a little darker than Anna.

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Speaker 1: She is fair skinned and I always look like I

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Speaker 1: have a tan. We also both got pregnant by a

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Speaker 1: white guy. To me, at least, it is an obvious

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Speaker 1: wirch girl is whose biokid. Two. Anna had been dating

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Speaker 1: Lily's bio dad for maybe half a year, but when

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Speaker 1: he heard the Anna was pregnant. He told her that

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Speaker 1: he didn't want anything to do with a child. I

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Speaker 1: got pregnant because I went to a party and was

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Speaker 1: an idiots. I have contacted Rose's father, but he told

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Speaker 1: me to give him time to think, so I have

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Speaker 1: been waiting for him to come around. He sucks three.

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Speaker 1: I have not legally adopted Lily yet. Anna and I

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Speaker 1: have agreed that Lily is my my child and Lily

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Speaker 1: is staying at my house, but Anna is still currently

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Speaker 1: her legal guardian. Right now, we are trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out where Lily's father went for I think I saw

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Speaker 1: several people saying that I don't know how much work

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Speaker 1: too babies will be. I definitely did not know what

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Speaker 1: I would be signing up for. Me and Anna thought

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Speaker 1: we knew it would be hard, but this is not

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Speaker 1: what I was expecting. Anna has been an absolute angel.

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Speaker 1: She is probably the only reason I am still seeing

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Speaker 1: right now after we realized our false expectations. Anna comes

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Speaker 1: over almost daily except for two days before I had

348
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Speaker 1: a mini breakdown, and has fallen asleep at my house

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Speaker 1: a few times while caring for the kids. Another friend

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Speaker 1: of ours, who all called James, has also been stopping

351
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Speaker 1: by he doesn't help with the girls because, in his

352
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Speaker 1: own words, I don't know what to do with the baby.

353
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Speaker 1: But James makes food and cleans up the house a bit.

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Speaker 1: I am eternally grateful to both James and Anna, because

355
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Speaker 1: I would be lost without them. Five. A lot of

356
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Speaker 1: you point out that telling Lily when she is old

357
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Speaker 1: is a bad idea, which we kind of talked about.

358
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Speaker 1: We give age appropriate answers for questions that come up,

359
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Speaker 1: and I agree with you that was my idea. I

360
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Speaker 1: didn't really think about how that could affect her when

361
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Speaker 1: she finds out if she was older. I'm going to

362
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Speaker 1: talk to Anna about this because I don't want to

363
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Speaker 1: cause my daughter any issues down the line. And that's

364
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Speaker 1: where things end right now. So it feels like OPI's

365
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Speaker 1: considering not lying to the daughter about the origin of

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Speaker 1: where she comes from, but is thinking about not staying

367
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Speaker 1: in touch with the family who keeps demanding that she

368
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Speaker 1: tell them which baby is her biological baby. But do

369
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Speaker 1: we think Opie should lie to the family about which

370
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Speaker 1: baby is hers?

371
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Speaker 3: I guess we're doubling down on this plane.

372
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Speaker 5: It's definitely grown on me. Actually, even when I first

373
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Speaker 5: heard it, I was like, oh, This is interesting.

374
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Speaker 1: Because it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was a bad plan when I suggested it,

376
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Speaker 3: but now that everyone kind of likes it.

377
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Speaker 5: I think it like an also too.

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Speaker 4: You know how like a lot of times the authors

379
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 4: in these stories have to pull like people are trying

380
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,639
Speaker 4: to pull this metical toxicay, like, oh, it's not this

381
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,440
Speaker 4: real daughter, so they kind of like get them, give

382
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 4: them a taste of their own medicine.

383
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Speaker 5: That's kind of what it is.

384
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,879
Speaker 4: Where it's like you were literally over here spending you

385
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 4: built this connection and bond with this kid, and then

386
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:18,880
Speaker 4: you were like.

387
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 5: Oh wait a second.

388
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Speaker 4: It's really just like having this child who we we

389
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Speaker 4: have built this connection with and we're caring for it.

390
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Speaker 5: That is that's the true meaning of family.

391
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I kind of love that Anna is coming

392
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Speaker 1: more into the picture. Yes, you know, like like the

393
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Speaker 1: family is coming together.

394
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Speaker 3: I am wondering and this is not necessarily like this

395
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,280
Speaker 3: is something that Op and Anna would have to figure

396
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Speaker 3: out between themselves. But like what as Anna gets closer

397
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,040
Speaker 3: and closer to is you know what role she eventually

398
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,879
Speaker 3: if it changes who like if she wants to be

399
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 3: more of a mother figure in Yeah, it's.

400
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,159
Speaker 1: So are we four lying or are we for telling

401
00:18:59,200 --> 00:18:59,639
Speaker 1: the truth?

402
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,240
Speaker 5: To say for a line in this day for lying? Lying?

403
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 1: Lying is good in this relationship. But I want to

404
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 1: know from y'all, what do you think we'll do a call?

405
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 1: I got a will of people, I got three people.

406
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 5: I'm gonna spin it right now.

407
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 3: Looks like it's.

408
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 1: Lover girl. I'm gonna clever girl girl right now? Should

409
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 1: she tell the truth or should she lie?

410
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 5: And we're calling you here we go Hello? Are you there?

411
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:30,720
Speaker 1: Hellout?

412
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 6: Can you hear me?

413
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:32,400
Speaker 5: Hey?

414
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,400
Speaker 1: Yes? We can?

415
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 5: How you doing?

416
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:34,400
Speaker 1: Hi?

417
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 6: I'm doing good?

418
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:35,399
Speaker 3: How are you?

419
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 6: Guys?

420
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 1: Very well? Love girls? So what do you think? Should

421
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: OP tell the truth to the family, tell the lie,

422
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 1: or just totally distance from the family altogether?

423
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,880
Speaker 6: I think, you know what, This one was a little bit.

424
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 6: It's not really hard, but I think that lye is

425
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 6: probably the best way to go for now. I think

426
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 6: I think I think you should. I I really do,

427
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 6: because with the way that they're reacting as far as

428
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 6: them heavily demanding ope, like which one's your quote quote

429
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,479
Speaker 6: real daughter, which one's the real grandkid? I feel like

430
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 6: if OP were to have told them, especially before the

431
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 6: child themselves knows that they're adopted. I think that can

432
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 6: just cause a lot of issues. I mean, considering the

433
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 6: vibe that I'm getting, I feel like they're going to

434
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:26,120
Speaker 6: end up treating the adopted daughter completely different from Opal

435
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 6: or quote quote real daughter. I just really don't think

436
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 6: it would be the best idea.

437
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:34,159
Speaker 1: The switch. Maybe they'll develop a relationship with one of

438
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 1: the daughters and like, oh, that's my real daughter, and

439
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 1: then switch, Oh no, now I have to develop a

440
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,440
Speaker 1: relationship with the other daughter, and so.

441
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 2: Actually again yeah, no.

442
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 6: No, no, yeah, yeah. I think that the daughter needs

443
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 6: to know first before and I mean I think Ope

444
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 6: needs to really put boundaries up with the family for

445
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 6: now if they're being so like dead set on this mindset,

446
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 6: I think that if the family does come around and

447
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 6: they realize, you know, their mindset is really harmful towards

448
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 6: not only on p but the children, I think they

449
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 6: can have a conversation then about you know, where their

450
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 6: relationship can go as far as like them helping with

451
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 6: the children and being involved in their lives. But for now,

452
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,160
Speaker 6: I think Op just needs to focus on the fact

453
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 6: that she has two newborns. I mean, her and Anna

454
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 6: are taking care of these children. I think that needs

455
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 6: to be her main priority rather than her parents and

456
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 6: her family constantly hounding her on you know which child

457
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 6: is the real one? Yeah, And I think OPI is

458
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 6: doing a great job with that. I mean, I have

459
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 6: a one child myself, being a single mom, and it's

460
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 6: very hard. I cannot imagine having two newborns at once,

461
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 6: and you know, she's doing great. I think that should

462
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 6: be her main focus right now.

463
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 1: And so when you're saying like that should be the

464
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 1: main focus, are you saying, like, get help from wherever

465
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: you might need it.

466
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think so. I think I think obviously, like

467
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,919
Speaker 6: stepping away from like family, I think you can you

468
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 6: can develop a lot of really great relationships with people.

469
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 6: I mean, I think I saw some comments towards like

470
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 6: their support groups for for mothers who need help or

471
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,439
Speaker 6: just need someone to talk to. There are places you

472
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 6: can seek out help besides this family who seems like,

473
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 6: you know, they're really causing op a lot of trouble

474
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 6: right now, I think that would probably be her best bet.

475
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 1: So basically, don't give up the ground of like die

476
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: on the hill of not talking to the family, because

477
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: they're basically going there showing favoritism towards one of the

478
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 1: kids and don't really like accept their help because their

479
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 1: help is coming with strings and like might lead to

480
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 1: more craziness down the road, and instead search for friends

481
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: and alternative roots where like maybe like support groups that

482
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: could help with this situation, because you're thinking, like there's

483
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 1: too many strings with this familial support, so it's not

484
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: even worth doing the bait and switch.

485
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:48,719
Speaker 5: Lie.

486
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, I agree a one hundred percent with that. I

487
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 6: think that. Yeah, I think that the family will end

488
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 6: up causing a lot more issues on the line. I think,

489
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 6: like I said before, they if they come towards like,

490
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 6: if they come to their senses and they like they

491
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 6: have a conversation where it's like, you know, we're so

492
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 6: sorry about the way that we treated the situation and

493
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 6: we will forever treat these two children like they are

494
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 6: our real grandchildren, like no matter whether they are adopted

495
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 6: or not. I think then they can have a conversation

496
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 6: as far as you know, op allowing them in their

497
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 6: lives if she chooses to, but definitely finding support in

498
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 6: other places would be her best bet.

499
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 1: For now, We'll e her go. Thank you so much

500
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 1: for sharing your perspective. We appreciate you.

501
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:30,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, of course, thank you.

502
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: Guys, have a good one, all right, but hey everyone,

503
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 1: let us know if you lie or would you not

504
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,359
Speaker 1: get your answers in the comments below right.

505
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,640
Speaker 3: And my vote was only in the circumstance that Op

506
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 3: decides that she can't like like funny wise she needs if.

507
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: They're I think, I think explore uh what lover girl said,

508
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 1: explore every other avenue absolutely, But if all those avenues

509
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: are shut down, then take the parental support and live.

510
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 3: Yeah oh yeah yeah. And this is only up until

511
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 3: you tell the truth to the kids.

512
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, that point. But if you love us, make

513
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,360
Speaker 1: sure to subscribe We love you and.

514
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 5: See it tomorrow.

515
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 1: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives.

516
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 5: Time for okop relas.

517
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for leaving my family to

518
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: marry an obese trumpet player? Is this written by an

519
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: AI or human? I'm gonna say human. I know this

520
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: might sound crazy, but bear with me. I recently made

521
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 1: the decision to leave my family and marry an obese

522
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: trumpet player that I met at a concert. I know

523
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: it sounds like a bad joke, but it's the truth,

524
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: John Op, Love, this is serious.

525
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 5: This is real business here.

526
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: Before you judge me, let me explain. I've been married

527
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: for ten years and I have two young kids. My

528
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 1: marriage has been okay, but it's ever been great. My

529
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: wife and I have grown apart over the years and

530
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: we have very little in common. We don't have the

531
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: same interest or hobbies, and we don't have much of

532
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,639
Speaker 1: a sex life. We've been living like roommates for a

533
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: long time, and we both know that our marriage on

534
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 1: the rocks. But then a few months ago, I attended

535
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: a jazz concert and I met this amazing trumpet player. Ooh.

536
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 1: She was a beast and not very attractive, but she

537
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 1: had a beautiful soul in a Harley gold Oh. We

538
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 1: hit it off and we started spending a lot of

539
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: time together. She made me feel alive and happy, and

540
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 1: she showed me a side of myself that I didn't

541
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,120
Speaker 1: even know existed.

542
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 5: Wow, that's beautiful.

543
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: We're not even thinking Twice, I decided to leave my

544
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: family and marry this trumpet player. I know it sounds crazy,

545
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 1: but I felt like I had no choice. I was

546
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: in love with her and I wanted to be with her.

547
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: I didn't care about the consequences or what anyone else

548
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,439
Speaker 1: saw it. I just wanted to follow my heart. The music.

549
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,360
Speaker 1: By now, I'm starting to realize that maybe I made

550
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,879
Speaker 1: a mistake. Really, one thing that's been bothering me is

551
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: the way my family and friends have been treating my

552
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: trumpet player, how calling her. They've been calling her all

553
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 1: sorts of and making fun of her appearance. They say

554
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: she's not good enough for me, and that I'm making

555
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 1: a huge mistake by marrying her, and she's not even

556
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 1: that good at playing the trumpet, not that she's mad

557
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: at the trumpet love with her in the first place.

558
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 1: They say that she's just using me for my money

559
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: and that she's not interested in me as a person.

560
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 1: But the truth is true my trumpet player is she's kind, caring,

561
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 1: and supportive. She's always there for me, and she makes

562
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: me happy. Of course, she's not perfect. She is always

563
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: playing the right notes, but either of lie poetic. We

564
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,400
Speaker 1: have our differences and our disagreements, but we always try

565
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: to communicate and understand each other. We support each other

566
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 1: and respect each other.

567
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 5: She's not just a.

568
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: Fling or a rebound, although she would be very good

569
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: at rebounding against Oh. She's my partner and my best friend.

570
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: My family is devastated. They don't understand why I would

571
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 1: do something like this. They say I'm being selfish and

572
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,880
Speaker 1: inconsiderate and then putting my own desires about the well

573
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: being of my wife and kids. They say I'm throwing

574
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 1: away my marriage and my family playing with a trumpet player,

575
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: and I'm not the person they thought I was. My

576
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 1: wife is especially hurt and angry, she says, and I've

577
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: betrayed her and our kids, and then I've shattered her

578
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: trust and her heart. She says that she gave me

579
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 1: ten years of her life. I've forbade her by leaving

580
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 1: her for opes trumpet player. She says that she's humiliated

581
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 1: to Barras and that she doesn't want to see me

582
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: or ever talk to me again. I've tried to explain

583
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 1: to her that I'm not the same person I was

584
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: ten years ago, and that I've changed and grown. I've

585
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: tried to tell her that I still love her and

586
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 1: I want to make things right, but she won't listen.

587
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: She says it's too late and that I've ruined everything.

588
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: I'm starting to regret my decision, but it's too late

589
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: to take it back. I've married a trumpet player, and

590
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 1: I don't know how to fix thing with my wife

591
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: and kids. I feel like I'm stuck. Betweende a rock

592
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 1: and a trumpet player only give stuck with a rock

593
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 1: in a hard place. I don't know what to do.

594
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: What do you guys think? Am I the asshole here

595
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 1: or everyone else being unreasonable? Before we understand if it's

596
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: AI or real? Can you tell me do you think

597
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: Op's a whole?

598
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 4: I mean absolutely? I mean, I will admit their passion

599
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 4: is inspired. Yeah, Opie's absolutely ungodly.

600
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: They and but you know, like I'm kind of rooting

601
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: for him the trumpet player too, because, like you know,

602
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: it sounds like they have something real special. But real talk,

603
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 1: is this made by a human or is it AI

604
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 1: generated by chat GPT?

605
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 4: So here's the thing. The writing was incredible. It's insane,

606
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 4: I mean, very poetic at moments. So the writing felt real.

607
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 4: Is it a crazy premise, yes, but so are all

608
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 4: of our reddits. We have seen way crazy stories on

609
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 4: this show. That all being said, I'm gonna go with

610
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 4: human human. I'm gonna go with human.

611
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: All right, John, Can you give me those drum hands

612
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: for a drum roll? And it's artificial intelligence? What yeah, dude,

613
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: chat GPT baby? Wow?

614
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 4: I mean incredibly well well written. The passion was there.

615
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: I asked it to write a Reddit post about a

616
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 1: beech trumpet player and leave it in op leaving his family.

617
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 4: Incredible. We're going to start playing this game a lot more. Yeah,

618
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 4: what you should do go to our subreddit r slash

619
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 4: okop show write a story with parentheses human or ai

620
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 4: in the title, and we're going to pick the best

621
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 4: premises and we're going to create stories with them and

622
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 4: then play the game human or AI.

623
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 5: I am so excited.

624
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: If you like that story, check out this one titled

625
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: kids will hate ex wife for cheating