1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls podcasts, a 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:25,480 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, 6 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. 7 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning 8 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a 9 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, 10 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for session of the 11 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Today we'll be chatting about 12 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: maintaining your mental health in less than favorable work conditions. 13 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: Today I'm joined by father Arris Farah is a licensed 14 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: clinical professional counselor in Philosophore, Illinois. She received her Bachelor 15 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 1: of Arts degree in Economics pre law from the University 16 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: of Illinois Champagne Urbana, a Bachelor of Arts and Marketing 17 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 1: and Management from Illinois Institute of Art, and a Master 18 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: of Arts in Mental Health Counseling from Trinity International University. 19 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: Farah believes that mental health includes everything that makes up 20 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: your well being, your psychological, mental, spiritual, and social well being. 21 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: She specializes in connecting you to your story, helping you 22 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: to own your voice, better management of your emotions, and 23 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: forming healthier boundaries. It is in this way that you 24 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: will become a well being. Fara and I chatted about 25 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,919 Speaker 1: dealing with microaggressions in the workplace, how improving your emotional 26 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: intelligence and setting boundaries can help you to you with 27 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: work stress, how employers can provide perks that actually help 28 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: their employees, and her thoughts on the myth of work 29 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: life balance. If you hear something great while you're listening, 30 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: please be sure to share it on social media using 31 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: the hashtag tb G in session. Here's our conversation. Well, 32 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us today, Fara, It's 33 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: so wonderful to be here, very excited to talk with you. 34 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: So you do a lot um about working will um 35 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: and learning how to kind of manage your emotions and 36 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: how we can be really smart in the workplace. And 37 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: so I know that this is a hot topic. UM. 38 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: There have been lots of conversations, and we're always having conversations, 39 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: it seems like in the Thrive tribe about like microaggressions 40 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 1: in the workplace. So do you have any tips on 41 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: dealing with microaggressions in the workplace. Well, it's not just 42 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: microaggressions in the workplace. It's seems to be everywhere, clearly clearly. Um, 43 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: but I'm I'm always challenging not just my clients, I'm 44 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 1: like in private practice, but anywhere is call it out 45 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: if it really affects you. I mean, you know, I 46 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: don't believe in like feeding into ignorance, especially if it's 47 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: like a one uh off the cuff type of thing. However, 48 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: it's important to establish clear boundaries on what's acceptable and 49 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: what's not. So if you are uncomfortable with it, you know, 50 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: I think the best thing to do is check that person, 51 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: because people are trifling and if you don't say anything, 52 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 1: people will think that it's okay and they'll be comfortable 53 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: continuing to say things or do things that make you uncomfortable. Um. 54 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 1: But if you're not okay with even addressing that person 55 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: at work, whether it's a colleague or you know, a manager, UM, 56 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: that's when you know you should try to find someone 57 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: to mediate I e. Safe space is um ideally your 58 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: HR representative, got it? Yeah? And I think, you know, 59 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: a lot of the concern has come when people have 60 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: tried to go to HR and still feel like, you know, 61 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: their concerns are not addressed appropriately or or they're not 62 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: addressed at all, you know. Sometimes Yeah, and it's it 63 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: could be really frustrating, which you know leads me to 64 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: always wonder like what is the culture within that work environment? 65 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: So oftentimes, you know, especially if you're a person of color, 66 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 1: UM or you know, a different culture, you're not sure 67 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 1: what your voices in that space. UM. So when I'm 68 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 1: doing one on ones with clients, I'm you know, really 69 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: trying to help them create a safe space within themselves 70 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: so you know, what is okay with you, what is 71 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: not okay with you? Can you voice this? And you know, 72 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: having them to have agency over themselves selves and for 73 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: them to be their own self advocate. Now he creates 74 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: contention or conflict. Ideally, ideally we would want HR to 75 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 1: come in. UM. Beyond that, that's when it gets a 76 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: little bit sketchy. So it's like, how do we implement 77 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: some you know, emotional intelligence and how we respond to 78 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 1: UM these microaggressions if they're continuing. So what do you 79 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 1: mean by that about Uh, like this implementing emotional intelligence. Yes, 80 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: emotional intelligence my favorite. Um, so pretty much you know, 81 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: emotional intelligence or we can call it like your emotional 82 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: quotient your EQ, like an i Q is just being 83 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: able to understand. Um. It starts with self awareness, so 84 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: understanding your emotions and how you deal with them, but 85 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: being being able to recognize emotions and others. So it's 86 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: it's kind of like being street smart, you know, being 87 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 1: able to look at somebody and recognize like, oh, you know, 88 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: their body language, their tone of voice, and helps you 89 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: to be able to assess yourself on how you're going 90 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: to respond. Okay, So can you give an example of 91 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: like how you might be able to use that in 92 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: the workplace? So yes, I mean I usually give an 93 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 1: example because of a toddler needing a nap, but uh, 94 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,359 Speaker 1: you know, in a workplace environment it is so bill 95 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,799 Speaker 1: Um you know says a microL you know, does something 96 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: that relates to a microaggression, and you have to kind 97 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: of practice the pause when I say, there's like the 98 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: three a's. So you become aware of your emotion. You're irritated, 99 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: you're anxious, you're angry, you know, you identify the emotion, 100 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,840 Speaker 1: and so once you identify it, you know, so you're 101 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 1: aware of it, then the next step is to assess it, Well, 102 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: where did it come from? You know, because it is 103 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:40,359 Speaker 1: Bill's statement. Truly a microaggression. Is Bill's statement, Um, something 104 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: that reminds you of another time where maybe when you 105 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: were in high school somebody said something similar to that, 106 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: like trying to get to what the root is of 107 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 1: the trigger, and then you are then you know how 108 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: to address it. So how do I respond without letting 109 00:06:55,880 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: my emotional brain hijack the conversation? Um, ben being able 110 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: to respond in a more um rational way, And that's 111 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: kind of having high e ques, like not letting you know, 112 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: not that the emotion you should be emotional less, but 113 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: that you have more control over how you respond with 114 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: your emotions. Okay, So I'm wondering, you know, because I 115 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: think a lot of the conversation has just been more 116 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: about like the cumulative impact of like continuing to go 117 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 1: to a job every day where people are saying, you know, 118 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: random things about your hair or um talking about election 119 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: news or whatever is going on in the news, right, 120 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: and so I think the culative impact on that is 121 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: really what is wearing a lot of people down. Yeah 122 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: it is. And so you know, I hear you saying like, Okay, 123 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: how can you practice some of this emotional intelligence? But 124 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 1: I think it also does relate to like how are 125 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: you managing the stress? Because I think if you are 126 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: at such a high level of stress, your ability to 127 00:07:55,880 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: respond in a way that has I e q. Is diminished? Right, yes, 128 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 1: Because usually you know, um, that's your your emotional brain 129 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: or your survival brain kind of kicks in which your 130 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: rational brain i e. Your prefrontal cortex, the boss of 131 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: your brain, to kind of come in and help you 132 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: to be rational, illogical, come up with common sense uh solutions, 133 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: And so it is kind of like a chicken in 134 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: the egg. But I say, you know, you don't have 135 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: control over other people, but you do have control over yourself. So, um, 136 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: if it's a cumulative situation, sometimes it brings up and 137 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: highlights something that you may not have even been aware 138 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: of yourself. So obviously we're in a very tense climate 139 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: with the election and and this current administration and what 140 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 1: we're hearing in current events. Um, and it may highlight 141 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: how much you have probably been passive at work. Um. 142 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: And you know, and I'm not saying this as like 143 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: a dish to so want to go like, you know, 144 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: you haven't been speaking up, But it's it's that moment 145 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: of self awareness is like, how have I been using 146 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,719 Speaker 1: my voice in this space? And if I've not been 147 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: using it, how do I again have agency advocacy for 148 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 1: myself to be able to say, hey, you know I 149 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: noticed that for a while. Now you comment on you know, 150 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: my different hairstyles. You know, can you tell me what 151 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: that's about? You know? And because sometimes people need to 152 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,199 Speaker 1: be checked because they're not self aware, because they may 153 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: have low eq UM of what they're doing to other people. 154 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: So that's why I think it's really important when it 155 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: comes to creating culture within the workplace that it starts 156 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: from the top down. So as an employee, you only 157 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: have so much control um over your environment, but you 158 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: can choose to figure out a way to respond in 159 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: a healthy manner as long as possible, because sometimes you 160 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: it may not be the environment for you to stay 161 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 1: in um while you know, management HR kind of gets 162 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: their stuff together. Yeah, And I do think that that's 163 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: an important point, right, like that as an employee at 164 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: a at a business, you know, like there is only 165 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 1: so much that you can do, and you may not 166 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: be the person in charge or in power to be 167 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: able to make some decisions that really would impact the 168 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: culture of the of the employment space. Mm hmmm, because 169 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 1: sometimes I think we don't even realize the power we have. 170 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,439 Speaker 1: I do believe in a ripple effect, and I think 171 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 1: that when we you know, my tagline is creating a 172 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: healthier world by creating a healthier you. Like, the more 173 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: you're able to understand who you are, why you do 174 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: the things you do, why you respond the way that 175 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,840 Speaker 1: you respond, The more comfortable you are with being authentically yourself, 176 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: then that creates a ripple effect of having other people 177 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: feel like they can be comfortable, you know, they could 178 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 1: be transparent and authentically themselves as well. You know. And 179 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:50,959 Speaker 1: I think we perceive, Uh it's is this perception that, um, 180 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 1: we can't like, we can't true especially you know, to 181 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: be a black woman or a black man, we can't 182 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 1: truly be who we are, uh, in corporate spaces. And 183 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: I challenge that, uh with all of my you know, 184 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: not all my clients are corporate, but many of them are, 185 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: you know, your attorneys or their bankers or accountants or whatever. 186 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: And I always challenge. I was like, how are you 187 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: how are you being comfortable using your voice at work? Now, 188 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: I'm not saying go straight country back home with their family, 189 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: Like there's there's a way that we may communicate with 190 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 1: our family that we don't necessarily communicate with other people. 191 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: But I do think that we have this perceived notion that, um, 192 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 1: we cannot use our voice, and that makes me like, 193 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 1: that makes me sad, honestly. Yeah, So what what are 194 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: some of those small ruples that you think that we 195 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,439 Speaker 1: can make to kind of maybe be able to impact 196 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 1: the culture of a workplace. What are some of the 197 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: small things you can do to maybe, um, make sure 198 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 1: that people are able to kind of be authentically themselves 199 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: in the workplace. Yeah, I mean that's a good question. 200 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: I think. You know. One is is there somebody else 201 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 1: there that is that you recognize is safe that you 202 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 1: can be honest with, that you can talk to, not 203 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: to gossip, because again that's like low eq you know, 204 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,559 Speaker 1: gossip being we're talking about somebody and being passive or 205 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: passive aggressive. But finding someone where um you can kind 206 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,439 Speaker 1: of bring up some things ideally would be great. You know, 207 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: if this is um not just her colleague but you 208 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: know a manager where you can go, hey, you know, 209 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: I'm seeing this, I'm seeing that, and then kind of 210 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: share your voice a little bit and being able to 211 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 1: kind of test the waters. Vulnerability is hard, um, but 212 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: it's freeing. But I would never encourage someone to just 213 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: like jump off the deep end without being able to 214 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: know that there is a safety net. So to be 215 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: able to ideally find a safe person that UM you 216 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: can communicate with, so that you know, going to work 217 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,320 Speaker 1: is not as stressful and you don't feel that you 218 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 1: can truly show up because everyone quote unquote UM is 219 00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: viewed as as the enemy. M h. I think this 220 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 1: also comes up sometimes around UM and I have you know, 221 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: read a lot about like the different cultures of organizations 222 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 1: in terms of the expectations to do things like pot 223 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 1: lux and happy hours and you know, all of that 224 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,559 Speaker 1: kind of thing that sometimes feels a little foreign, I think, right. 225 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people view work as this 226 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 1: is where I go to do my job and then 227 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 1: at five o'clock this my time. Right, But for a 228 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: lot of organizations, the expectation is that you will spend 229 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 1: some time doing these like extracurricular kinds of things. Yeah, 230 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 1: but what's the point of those extracurricular types of things. 231 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 1: So I mean, is this to create cohesion? Is this 232 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,559 Speaker 1: to create a more friendly work atmosphere? You know, I'm 233 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 1: I'm always you know asking organizations like what is the 234 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 1: purpose of what? You know, what's the intention behind the 235 00:13:54,440 --> 00:14:00,000 Speaker 1: stuff that you do? So you know, in terms of like, um, 236 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 1: wellness perks, you know, adding a gym or a juice bar, 237 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 1: you know, or like you're saying happy hour, like they're thinking, oh, 238 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 1: you know, um, this will help with minimizing stress. This 239 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: will help, you know, get people to get together. But 240 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,720 Speaker 1: it really doesn't address the individual It doesn't really address 241 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 1: the humanistic side of things where you know, I joke, 242 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,240 Speaker 1: like a new mom or a new dad care less 243 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: that there's a gym. They want to know that their 244 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: boss will understand that they're sweep deprived and may need 245 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 1: some flex you know, some flex time and work from home. 246 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: So you know, organizations really need to figure out, like 247 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: what is the culture that they really want to how 248 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: so that they can know that in their diverse group 249 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: of people, um, that they're meeting the bulk of the need, 250 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: you know, because you're not going to be able to 251 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 1: get like everybody to be happy, but there should be 252 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: some empathy, some active listening, some understanding, some um real 253 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: hard val saluation of why things are the way they are. 254 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: You know. So I remember talking to one organization and 255 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, what what kind of assessments do you do 256 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 1: to determine, you know, what the need is in you know, 257 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: getting a speaker or to you know, pay for vendor resources. 258 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: And you know, there survey, I'll say it in quotes, 259 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 1: was lacking because you know, it just showed like the 260 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: majority thought everything was okay, but it wasn't broken down 261 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 1: by gender, race, or sexual orientation. So it's like if 262 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: the majority are white males and everything is copasetic with them, 263 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: then HR thinks we don't have to do anything. You know. 264 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: It's like, okay, well, you know maybe John was able 265 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: to um be promoted within two years, but Germaine it 266 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 1: took him five years. But when you look at their 267 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: performance reviews, they're the same. What's up with that? You know? 268 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: So really being able to like go deep into the 269 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 1: trenches of those cultures, UH to go, how do we 270 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 1: truly have a working well uh culture within this work 271 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: space that addresses you know, these needs of all of 272 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 1: the people that we claim quote unquote to be our employees, 273 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: good employees that we want to keep. Yeah, and I 274 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 1: think it it kind of goes beyond the survey, right 275 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,800 Speaker 1: because if if it's a survey that's going to be 276 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: able to identify who I am, and I'm like the 277 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 1: only black women and the woman in the organization, I 278 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: may not feel comfortable sharing, um, what you know, my 279 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 1: true thoughts on a survey, but I do think that 280 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 1: that speaks to the greater organizational culture, like what is 281 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 1: the tone that's been said that I don't feel comfortable 282 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: sharing my opinion? Right, So I think it has to 283 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: start before the survey, yes, and who you know? And 284 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: then also to be clear year two those who are 285 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: working the intention, Because if you're saying my intention is this, 286 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 1: and it sounds like it's for the wellness of everyone, 287 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 1: then that kind of softens the blow a little bit, 288 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: like Oh, and then making sure that whoever you're coming 289 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: in or bringing in to do these assessments, you know, 290 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 1: say you're going to do an outside person versus you know, 291 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 1: internal HR, then that may also create some safety there. 292 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: And then if you're having a diverse group of people, 293 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: because I always thought it was interesting to have like 294 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: diversity and inclusion being led by a white male or 295 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 1: a white female and it's like, okay, and I'm not 296 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 1: saying that they can't, you know, but it's like, if 297 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 1: I am the black woman in the group, or if 298 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: I am the Asian male in the group, do I 299 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:50,359 Speaker 1: feel safe actually talking about the microaggressions that I experienced 300 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 1: every day from Chad in this diversity inclusion workshop, you know? 301 00:17:55,760 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 1: And so what making sure again from the top down 302 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,400 Speaker 1: to be really smart and strategic and intentional, um, from 303 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,439 Speaker 1: the front end to the back end on trying to 304 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: create that place of wellness and addressing you know, specifically 305 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 1: we're talking about micro aggressions, you know, So the diversity factor. 306 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,640 Speaker 1: M h. So you mentioned this a little earlier there, 307 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 1: that fina um the whole idea of high emotional intelligence 308 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,160 Speaker 1: and that things like gossiping are not signs of high 309 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: emotional intelligence. What kind of things would you be encouraging, Like, 310 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 1: what are some other signs of high emotional intelligence versus 311 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:38,959 Speaker 1: low emotional intelligence? Yeah, great questions. So high emotional intelligence 312 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: again brings up a lot of uh self awareness. So 313 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: you know, if you're self aware, then you kind of 314 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:50,719 Speaker 1: know more of who you are and why you do 315 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: what you do. Um, and then you have control over it. 316 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: So you know, we talked about you know a little 317 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 1: bit of neuroscience, neuroscience about the brain. You know, so 318 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: we got our emotional part of the brain olympic system, 319 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 1: and then we have like our rational side part of 320 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: the brand, which is in the front um. And so 321 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 1: when you have high e Q, you're more assertive, uh, 322 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: you're more empathic or empathetic, and then you know, you're 323 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: more compassionate. And so it's it's one of those things where, um, 324 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: you create a space where people actually feel comfortable talking 325 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:31,760 Speaker 1: to you because you're straightforward. UM. But you know, obviously 326 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: with some tact and you know you're you know, you're ambitious, 327 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 1: you're decisive, UM, your have you have a charming personality, 328 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: you're consistent. Uh and I think I didn't mention earlier. 329 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: Being you know, active listening or being a good listener 330 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: is another great skill. And so it's great when leaders 331 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 1: and managers can have high EQ because there's kind of 332 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,120 Speaker 1: again that ripple effective. You can be a person who 333 00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 1: can be straightforward, be the side, be empathetic, um, being patient, 334 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: you know, good listener, Your your people who want to 335 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 1: work with you and work for you have no problem 336 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,120 Speaker 1: having dialogue with you because they think they feel heard, 337 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 1: they feel seen, um. And then hopefully you in turn 338 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:24,120 Speaker 1: can train them to have that same kind of high EQ. 339 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: Because when you have a low EQUE, that's where we 340 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:31,920 Speaker 1: get the aggressive boss um, the poor listener, the person 341 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: who's passive aggressive um you know, uh, very impulsive, easily distracted, demanding, 342 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: professionistic uh. And you know, no one really wants to 343 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: be around someone who kind of carries these traits. I'm 344 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: glad you mentioned that because as you were talking, I 345 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: was thinking, like, oh, it sounds like it really is 346 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,360 Speaker 1: most important for the people in leadership to have high EQ, 347 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 1: right like, and then of course there is a trickle down, 348 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: but it sounds like it does start at the top 349 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: that if you know, managers are able to kind of 350 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:09,120 Speaker 1: exhibit this high emotional intelligence, then other people can kind 351 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 1: of go behind their lead because when you you know, 352 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: if you work in an environment and um that's toxic, 353 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 1: you know you look around and go, you know, why 354 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 1: is it that you know, Janet is always gossiping and 355 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,399 Speaker 1: you know we can't get work done? Or why is 356 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: it that you know, my coworker UM is just so 357 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: passive aggressive. And then you look at management and you 358 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: recognize that management kind of tries to turn a blind eye, 359 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,439 Speaker 1: you know, to this behavior that's not being addressed. And 360 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: so usually what's happening at the bottom is just a 361 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: sign of what's going on in the man managerial part 362 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:55,360 Speaker 1: of the organization. So how do you teach this well, UM, 363 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 1: so you know, seminars are coming in you know, uh 364 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: by connecting with each are either the diversity and Inclusion 365 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:07,919 Speaker 1: department of an organization or through h R. And you 366 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 1: know a lot of companies have these quote unquote you 367 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 1: know lunch and learns or um you know box lunches 368 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 1: or you know, an after work event where you may 369 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 1: be be able to get some continuing education credits. And 370 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: so I will do sessions on what emotional challenges, is 371 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:31,480 Speaker 1: effective communication, boundary development, and then depending on the organizational needs, 372 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: then you know we can go deeper because I, like 373 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 1: I said, I love talking about EQ and you know 374 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: I can give a basic one oh one which gives 375 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 1: people the time to kind of pause and reflect because again, 376 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 1: though we are at work the bulk of the week, 377 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,880 Speaker 1: the bulk of our day and the bulk of our lives. 378 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 1: We don't live lives outside. So I really want to 379 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 1: be able to give people this knowledge. And it's a 380 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: skill set that we all can have. So we may 381 00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: not be able to raise our i Q, but we 382 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 1: can all always raise our EQ. And what I would 383 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 1: want people to be able to have is this how 384 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: moment after you know presentation or you know a workshop 385 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: and go, oh wait, I can use this with my spouse. 386 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 1: I didn't realize how much I can use this with 387 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,159 Speaker 1: my with my kids or with my friend because I 388 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: really want to touch Again, I'm a therapist, so really 389 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: I want to touch the whole person and be able 390 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: to help them be better in managing their emotions everywhere 391 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,719 Speaker 1: again creating that place of safety within yourself and go like, 392 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,959 Speaker 1: I'm I'm going to be consistent, you know. So I know, 393 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,560 Speaker 1: like I did a talk two weeks ago on emotional intelligence, 394 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: and I think the first person that came to me 395 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:46,959 Speaker 1: was like, can I talk to you about my ten 396 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: year old son? Okay, um, you guys are a construction organization, 397 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,959 Speaker 1: but we'll talk about your son. Like, so, you know, 398 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: I really wanted, you know, I kind of do a 399 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 1: little backdoor approach like, yes, we're gonna talk about work, 400 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,360 Speaker 1: but really we're going to talk about you. I'm trying 401 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: to talk about like how did you learn about emotions? 402 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: You know, where did that come from? You know, did 403 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,240 Speaker 1: your family talk about emotions? Did they hide from emotions 404 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 1: that they overly express them? Because that's probably what you're 405 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: bringing to to your workplace, right, Like what's the old saying, 406 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: wherever you go there you are much You're always bringing 407 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:30,120 Speaker 1: yourself exactly. So something else that has come up in conversation, 408 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: UM is this move that lots of organizations are going 409 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:38,560 Speaker 1: toward with this whole like open floor playing right where 410 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,439 Speaker 1: people don't even have high cubicles anymore. It's just like 411 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 1: everybody's sitting at these long tables and that kind of thing. Um. 412 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: And it does like you're taking down the walls, right, 413 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of um, you know, what's 414 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: involved with EQ and just kind of managing your emotions 415 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,360 Speaker 1: in general is like being able to collect yourselves sometimes 416 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: or having a space to go to kind of with 417 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,199 Speaker 1: draw and take a moment and recoup. And now we 418 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: don't even have any of that anymore in a lot 419 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,640 Speaker 1: of work spaces. So what are your suggestions for them, 420 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 1: like people who are working in these you know, open 421 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: floor playing offices that don't even have personal space anymore. Yeah, 422 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 1: you know, I I get the I get the again, 423 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,639 Speaker 1: the attention. Uh you know, what's the saying? You know, 424 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:27,639 Speaker 1: the road to Hell was Letten. Yeah, it makes sense. 425 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 1: But however, I don't think that they've truly And this 426 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 1: is why I really like bringing a humanistic point of 427 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 1: view when I talked to corporations, because again, it's always 428 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: about bottom line, which is great, the numbers, but again 429 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,879 Speaker 1: you're still your numbers don't get met met unless you 430 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: have people do it. So it's like, let's deal with 431 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:51,640 Speaker 1: the people. So for extroverts, initially it's like the best 432 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: thing ever. You know, xtrots love being around people, to 433 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,680 Speaker 1: get energized by being around people, So having an opportunity 434 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,439 Speaker 1: to look at you across the table um like feeds 435 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: into them. However, it becomes a distraction. So then when 436 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: you got the introverts, it's not the introverts areth um 437 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 1: anti social. It's more so that they need that quiet 438 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 1: time to regroup. They like more one on ones because 439 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,959 Speaker 1: they don't like superficial conversation. So to have the open space. 440 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 1: That actually probably creates more anxiety for a person who's 441 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,440 Speaker 1: introverted because they're always thinking like, my space is being invaded, 442 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 1: so if you cannot avoid um, you know, the new 443 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: construction of your work convincement for introverts, I really encourage 444 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 1: them to have headphones because one, it does help to 445 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 1: quiet the noise to it's like a physical boundary, uh, 446 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 1: you know. And again hopefully you have other coworkers who 447 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 1: have some decent EQ and can recognize that if you 448 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 1: have headphones on, probably shouldn't try to talk to you um. 449 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 1: And then you know, maybe still even with management, trying 450 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: to create a quiet space like a room um or 451 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,399 Speaker 1: a library where you know, people can be able to 452 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,439 Speaker 1: focus or talk about sensitive information because you know, not 453 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:15,240 Speaker 1: everybody wants to talk about negotiating their salary right there 454 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: in the open. So still being able to create some 455 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 1: you know, quiet spaces and private spaces while managing you know, 456 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 1: the more open floor plan, which again makes sense because 457 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:31,119 Speaker 1: the pubicles do cause people to be more passive, so 458 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 1: they'll send an email when you literally like right around 459 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 1: the corner like hey, this really causes you to have 460 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,320 Speaker 1: more face to face dialogue, which is good, but being 461 00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 1: able to again, um, create that culture of like, how 462 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 1: do we still respect each other's space and each other's time. 463 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: So for the introverts, I'm like, just throw on some 464 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 1: headphones even if there's nothing playing, you know, gives that 465 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 1: illusion that, oh, you know, fire is working and she's 466 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: focused and I can't talk to her right now. But 467 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: I mean again, it's everything has they the good and 468 00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 1: the bad. You know, the cubicles aren't always so great 469 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: and open spaces aren't so great. But if maybe we 470 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: can create a balance of the two where you know, 471 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,159 Speaker 1: there's at least a couple of spaces that people know 472 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:21,480 Speaker 1: they can go to for quiet personal conversation, a place 473 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: to regroup, um, would be helpful. So that does kind 474 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 1: of leave me to my next question in terms of like, 475 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,200 Speaker 1: and you mentioned this earlier, when workplaces, we'll try to 476 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,639 Speaker 1: do these wellness perks like a juice bar or Grandola 477 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 1: barish everybody, or you know, let's all go to David 478 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 1: Busters or whatever kinds of things. Right, well, what kinds 479 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:44,400 Speaker 1: of things should corporations and organizations really be looking at 480 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:51,719 Speaker 1: in terms of creating healthy workspaces? Flexibility is huge, um, 481 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: you know, and there's more and more research. I think 482 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: there was an article that I saw maybe a couple 483 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 1: of weeks ago about people over their age of forty 484 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: should only really be working like three or four days 485 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 1: or week, and I was like, yes, completely perfect, um, 486 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 1: you know, but having that flexibility without penalty, because I 487 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: think we're trying to catch up with with with the times, 488 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 1: you know, so we you know, my parents were baby 489 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 1: boomers on gen X, and so there was that whole 490 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,200 Speaker 1: belief that you know, you work a full nine hour day, 491 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 1: you know, you get your lunch, you stay with the 492 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: company forever, you hopefully get a pension, and then you 493 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: retire and you die. That's the model. But that's not 494 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,160 Speaker 1: what people are looking for. That's not what a lot 495 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 1: of millennials are looking for. And you know, so having 496 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 1: that value add of like, okay, do you do you 497 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: trust me enough to get the work done that I 498 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,320 Speaker 1: can do some work from home? Do you trust me 499 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: that I don't have to be here from seven thirty 500 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: to five thirty every day because I show up with results? Um? 501 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 1: Being able To be clear, I think one of the 502 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 1: biggest things that I get from client who are frustrated 503 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 1: UM is that there's not a clear career path. So 504 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 1: being able to have clear expectations on what you're expecting 505 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 1: from the employees, but then knowing that you're investing in 506 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 1: their future. Also, you know, brings this sense of wellness 507 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: because they know what they're looking for. Another part of 508 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,280 Speaker 1: having you know, good eques being self motivated. UM. So 509 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 1: it's like, oh wow, I know I can do this 510 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 1: because this is being offered and also my boss is 511 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 1: valuing uh and investing in my future. So being able 512 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: to do that because management really sets the tone, you know, 513 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 1: and being able to give constructive feedback like don't wait 514 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 1: till you know your best person is getting ready to 515 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 1: leave to tell them how much you know they're meant. 516 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,000 Speaker 1: You know they're they're meant to the group or to 517 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: the team. You know, give constructive feedback continuously. Uh. That 518 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:58,200 Speaker 1: helps the client the employee UM feel seen and feels 519 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:02,440 Speaker 1: heard and understood, and like again, it feels valued within 520 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 1: the workplace. Right, so you can keep the juice bar, 521 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 1: but give me a schedule because right because you want 522 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,000 Speaker 1: them to be able to know like, well, you know 523 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: they take care of the external because that's a lot 524 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 1: of external stuff, you know, So I want the juice bar, 525 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 1: I want the free gym pass, you know, I want UM. 526 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,000 Speaker 1: I have a friend of mine they really really amped 527 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 1: up their wellness program at her company and she's like, oh, yeah, 528 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,760 Speaker 1: I just finished doing UM. I don't know if she 529 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,960 Speaker 1: was making a viz it was she was. I was like, 530 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 1: what are they doing. She's like, yeah, we're doing knitting 531 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,480 Speaker 1: and like all these really cool things. But I said, 532 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: how important is that to you versus the fact that 533 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 1: you've come back from maternity leave and you've talked to 534 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 1: your manager who's like, I see leadership skills in you. 535 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 1: I want to send you to Arizona for some leadership 536 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 1: training and let me know when you need to take 537 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 1: time off to like pick up the kids. And so 538 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: that balance is what makes or want to push harder 539 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,600 Speaker 1: as an employee because it's like, Okay, within the workspace, 540 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: you've given me, you know, nice self care things that 541 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 1: I can do, But if I leave the workspace, I 542 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: still know that you are like investing in me, you know, 543 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:21,360 Speaker 1: whether you'll do the flex time or UM job growth. Yeah, 544 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,440 Speaker 1: So what are some of your favorite resources for people 545 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: who want to learn more about like emotional intelligence or UM, 546 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: you know, like how they can create healthier workspaces. So 547 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 1: I I was thinking about this because there are two 548 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: resources that I usually give UM my clients, whether they're 549 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:47,080 Speaker 1: you know, in corporate spaces or not. And it I'm 550 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 1: always saying like, let's start with the self awareness UM, 551 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 1: but then also let's take care of the goals. And 552 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,200 Speaker 1: so work life balance is myth. It's more work life alignment, 553 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,479 Speaker 1: you know, so how are we creating a life that 554 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,640 Speaker 1: we want on? UM. So a great book that I 555 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,640 Speaker 1: think everyone should have, you know, in their library is 556 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 1: The Twelve Week Year by Brian p I'm gonna say 557 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:13,040 Speaker 1: his last name is Moran UM and Michael Lennington UM 558 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 1: because they do a lot of mindset work and you know, 559 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 1: having you really stop and to evaluate, you know, what 560 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 1: it is that you're trying to do and what you're 561 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,959 Speaker 1: trying to accomplish without uh freaking out and you know, 562 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: distant yourself because you didn't get something done. It makes 563 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: you It's one of those like active smart goals that's 564 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,000 Speaker 1: very practical. Uh. And another resource that I think everyone 565 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 1: should have too is Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. 566 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: I would say it's like Boundaries one oh one because 567 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 1: they do have a series, but this book begins to 568 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 1: highlight that self awareness because sometimes we're thinking we have 569 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: healthy boundaries, but a reality are our boundaries may be 570 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:59,160 Speaker 1: too flexible or too loose or too rigid and um, 571 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:03,040 Speaker 1: but it also lights boundary violators. So again talking about 572 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:07,080 Speaker 1: the top of our conversation about microaggressions, those are boundaries 573 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,799 Speaker 1: being crossed, you know, certially when someone touches our hairs 574 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:13,319 Speaker 1: like you're you know, you're crossing a physical boundary. So 575 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,600 Speaker 1: being able to recognize them within yourself and recognize them 576 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: and others. And there's practical examples of whether it's a 577 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 1: boundary at home, boundaries with your spouse. UM, I think 578 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 1: it's like boundaries with family, boundaries at work. They kind 579 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 1: of have the different chapters, and like I said, it's 580 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: a series, so if you want specifically boundaries at work, 581 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,680 Speaker 1: there's a you know, they also author that book, but 582 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 1: a great starting point is just the book title Boundaries 583 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 1: by Cloud in Townsend that give you the like first 584 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 1: open door into understanding boundaries and self awareness. And then 585 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 1: I think everyone should have a self care journal or 586 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:54,880 Speaker 1: a planner. Um, you can pick up one anywhere. However, 587 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,759 Speaker 1: I would say that I've created a twenty one day 588 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:03,640 Speaker 1: self care planner that's available, um, you know on my 589 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 1: you know, different social media handles, and it's there to 590 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: create again that work life alignment. So it does address 591 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,760 Speaker 1: self care at work and then self care outside of work. 592 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:19,040 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm sorry. And then which is free app? 593 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 1: Calm c A L yeah, c A l M And 594 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 1: it's free. Um. But a lot of my clients who 595 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,560 Speaker 1: are in corporate spaces who struggle with anxiety love that 596 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,279 Speaker 1: app and choose to actually pay for the full subscription. 597 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 1: But I always say, start with the free and see 598 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 1: where you want to go with it. Right. So I 599 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,840 Speaker 1: do want to talk a little bit more about the 600 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,840 Speaker 1: whole work life alignment because I do think for years 601 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,440 Speaker 1: we have been fed this lie about work life balance 602 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,200 Speaker 1: when clearly there is no balance, right, there's always something 603 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 1: competing for our attention. Um. So so talk more about 604 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,839 Speaker 1: what you consider work life alignment and how people can 605 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,479 Speaker 1: kind of do better with that. I think again, yeah, 606 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 1: I agree with you to the lie that we've been 607 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 1: taught um. And I think for women it's even been 608 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:12,399 Speaker 1: harder because working women in particular who feel that they 609 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,239 Speaker 1: have to be everything and do everything, uh, and then 610 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 1: they end up being burnt out and frustrated and unhappy. 611 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 1: So then you become an unhappy wife and unhappy mother 612 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 1: if you have kids, and um, you know may be 613 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 1: satisfied at work, but not content in how work plays 614 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 1: into your life. So when I talk about work life alignment, 615 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:38,040 Speaker 1: it is how do you uh create that value of 616 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,359 Speaker 1: work to the life that you want to live. So 617 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 1: I'm I'm I could use myself as an example. So 618 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,439 Speaker 1: I'm a mom entrepreneur, so I have kids and I'm 619 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:53,360 Speaker 1: a a wife, and um, I need to know, well, 620 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:57,120 Speaker 1: how many days of work am I comfortable doing so 621 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,359 Speaker 1: that I could be home with my kids? How much 622 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,719 Speaker 1: money do I need to make to you know, feel comfortable? Um, 623 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,080 Speaker 1: because I can't sit there because I have worked in 624 00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:11,400 Speaker 1: corporate environments before I became a therapist. Is that I 625 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,600 Speaker 1: can't say I want to have a thriving marriage or 626 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,319 Speaker 1: be able to be at all my kids events. But 627 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:21,960 Speaker 1: I'm working, you know, eighty hour week just asn't line up, 628 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,399 Speaker 1: you know, So it is a a give and take. 629 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 1: It is being able to say, how do my values 630 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:33,160 Speaker 1: create my my boundaries? So going back to boundaries, so 631 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:40,760 Speaker 1: if I know that my values are uh stable, family, household, healthy, 632 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:45,880 Speaker 1: thriving marriage. Um, you know children who are content and 633 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,760 Speaker 1: I'm present, then I need to figure out how everything 634 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 1: else plays into that value. So how does work my 635 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,640 Speaker 1: time at work the tot type of work I do? 636 00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:03,279 Speaker 1: You know it is worked just here to be um 637 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 1: a a investor in What I want to do is 638 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,480 Speaker 1: work here to be able to just pay the bills 639 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:15,080 Speaker 1: and you know, I'll find uh something else uh that 640 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:19,279 Speaker 1: will be able to feed my passion of you know, art, 641 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. But taking that time to go how 642 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: do I want my life to look? Because you're going 643 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 1: to recognize where your boundaries are being crossed in those 644 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,960 Speaker 1: areas where you're irritable because you're tired and you're stressed. 645 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,319 Speaker 1: Um and usually that's a sign that a boundary has 646 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:38,880 Speaker 1: been crossed. M hmm. Okay, okay. And does your the 647 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 1: journal that you've developed, does it help you to kind 648 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 1: of get clear about that? It does in a sense 649 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 1: that I mean it's again twenty one day, so there 650 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 1: will be more to come. Um. But like this is 651 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,479 Speaker 1: kind of a commencement into I say that soft care 652 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:58,319 Speaker 1: is not this investment of going to the spa or 653 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,319 Speaker 1: getting a many petty or going on vacation. It's an 654 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:06,200 Speaker 1: investment into yourself intentionally every single day, and it's so 655 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,359 Speaker 1: that you're going to be able to create a life 656 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,399 Speaker 1: you don't want to run away from because I hear 657 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,359 Speaker 1: a lot of people talk about, oh man, fire, I'm 658 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,799 Speaker 1: just tired. I just need a vocation, I just need 659 00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:18,960 Speaker 1: to get away, And it's like, okay, well now you 660 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,800 Speaker 1: got to you got to the point where you're stressed 661 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,919 Speaker 1: and you burnt out. So what have you not been 662 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,440 Speaker 1: doing every single day to make you okay? Are you 663 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 1: not sleeping enough hours? Are you adding too much to 664 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:36,359 Speaker 1: your plate? Are you over committing? Are you not delegating enough? 665 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 1: Like it's so the every day kind of challenges you 666 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:45,439 Speaker 1: to do one simple thing two um I would say, 667 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 1: elevate your wellness. So it starts off on creating a 668 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,840 Speaker 1: nighttime routine and then the next day is a morning 669 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 1: routine because people don't really take the time to be 670 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,959 Speaker 1: intentional with that and how much it's important to your 671 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:03,280 Speaker 1: brain health, health and your physical health to have proper rest. 672 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 1: And then it goes into like the you know, the 673 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 1: deeper stuff of you know, are you comparing yourself to 674 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,480 Speaker 1: people at work or anyone in your life and what 675 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,920 Speaker 1: is that about? You know, are you shooting yourself? You know? 676 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,680 Speaker 1: And I think the expectations which justice the cousin of 677 00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:23,080 Speaker 1: dissatisfaction and disappointment. So you know, so it has those 678 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:27,839 Speaker 1: like self reflective questions, um on certain days and other 679 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:31,799 Speaker 1: days have like some actional you know, action steps on 680 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,600 Speaker 1: you know, making sure you're maximizing your commute and just 681 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,400 Speaker 1: being intentional. I really want people to be more intentional 682 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,320 Speaker 1: with their lives instead of kind of letting their lives 683 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:45,880 Speaker 1: just run them. Yeah. I've checked out the journal, all right, 684 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,160 Speaker 1: and I think it's a great introduction, like you said, 685 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,719 Speaker 1: into like, okay, these are the ways that I could 686 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,840 Speaker 1: be making some small changes, not even like life you know, 687 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:57,759 Speaker 1: life changing, but very small decisions. Right. It doesn't have 688 00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,719 Speaker 1: to be like this big, grand scale kind of thing 689 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,640 Speaker 1: if you're trying to create a life by design and 690 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:06,360 Speaker 1: it's not going to happen overnight, but like these little 691 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,360 Speaker 1: implemental and and the thing that I like about the 692 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,400 Speaker 1: journal is that you literally could just print it off again, 693 00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,400 Speaker 1: right and do it for another one days, right and 694 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,920 Speaker 1: um and ideally I would love it to grow to 695 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:23,480 Speaker 1: be you no working well daily, you know, for new 696 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,080 Speaker 1: moms or whatever. So it's specific to where you are 697 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:30,240 Speaker 1: in life. But right now, it's just this general look 698 00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:36,400 Speaker 1: at how am I actually making time for myself? Like 699 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,680 Speaker 1: how am I caring for myself? Because we do really 700 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,680 Speaker 1: try to run away from our lives instead of actually 701 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:48,280 Speaker 1: going Wait, I'm the narrator. I can edit, I can copy, 702 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,279 Speaker 1: I can paste, I can do whatever I need to 703 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,239 Speaker 1: do to create a life that I don't want to 704 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,840 Speaker 1: run away from. So where can we find you online? 705 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,440 Speaker 1: What is your website as well as any social media 706 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,960 Speaker 1: handles you'd like to share? Sure? Um, well, my website 707 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:09,200 Speaker 1: is Fara Harris LCPC dot com and Fara is f 708 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 1: A R A H Harris h A R R I 709 00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,520 Speaker 1: S and then LCPC dot com and then and all 710 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: my social media handles on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook is at 711 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,320 Speaker 1: Fara Harris l C PC and then I'm also the 712 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:29,560 Speaker 1: own creator of the group working well. Uh and it's 713 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,440 Speaker 1: a Facebook group. It's closed, so you know, you just 714 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:36,280 Speaker 1: asked to be you know, invited in. But that's where 715 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,439 Speaker 1: you know you'll get additional tips. That's where people are 716 00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:43,840 Speaker 1: open to asking questions about what's going on at their work, 717 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,160 Speaker 1: you know, if they're planning on transitioning from one career 718 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 1: to another. It's really a safe place for UH people 719 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,480 Speaker 1: who are looking to understand work life alignment and get 720 00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:59,040 Speaker 1: support from other professionals, other mothers of their dads, um 721 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,919 Speaker 1: and and and feel not judged, you know, if they're 722 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 1: having an issue at work and they want to you know, 723 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,759 Speaker 1: kind of get some feedback on how to to to 724 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 1: manage it. So I usually try not to answer any 725 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 1: questions that people post because I kind of like to 726 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:15,759 Speaker 1: let the village chime in and then I'll bring my 727 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 1: you know, therapeutic UM expertise a little bit later. And 728 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,399 Speaker 1: so it's been exciting um having this group grow. It's 729 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,719 Speaker 1: it's been since I think January is when you know, 730 00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:30,440 Speaker 1: I started the group. So if you're interested in working well, 731 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,960 Speaker 1: there's a Facebook group grading for you to to come 732 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:37,359 Speaker 1: join us perfect and all of that information will be 733 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,640 Speaker 1: included in the show builds for anybody who can't write 734 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,480 Speaker 1: it down right now, so don't worry about missing any 735 00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,120 Speaker 1: of the information. Well, thank you so much for joining 736 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,560 Speaker 1: us today. I loved it. I love your program, I 737 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,760 Speaker 1: love what you're doing, and I think you're just such 738 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,120 Speaker 1: a wealth of um resources that especially black women need 739 00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:57,719 Speaker 1: right now. Thank you, thank you. I'm so grateful that 740 00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,920 Speaker 1: far I was able to share her expertise with the 741 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,800 Speaker 1: US today. Be sure to check out the show notes 742 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:06,400 Speaker 1: to get more information about her practice and her self 743 00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,600 Speaker 1: care planner. You can find them at Therapy for Black 744 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:14,319 Speaker 1: Girls dot com slash session. If you're looking for a 745 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:18,040 Speaker 1: therapist in your area, be sure to visit the directory 746 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:22,680 Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And 747 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,719 Speaker 1: if you want to continue this conversation and join a 748 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,239 Speaker 1: community of other sisters who listen to the podcast, come 749 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,000 Speaker 1: on over and join us in the Thrive Tribe at 750 00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:36,040 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash tribe. Be sure 751 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,320 Speaker 1: to answer the three questions that are asked to gain entry. 752 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 1: Thank you all so much for joining me again this week, 753 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,759 Speaker 1: and I look forward to continuing this conversation with you 754 00:44:45,800 --> 00:45:17,520 Speaker 1: all real soon. Take care. I doctor Boctor, I doctor doctor, 755 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,560 Speaker 1: I doctor