Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh I see you. Why look over there?
Speaker 1: How is that? Yes? Goodness? Okay, okay, the party all right?
Speaker 1: I had a feeling it would be a party. How
Speaker 1: all right? Quick scan? Is everyone in this room as
Speaker 1: hot as literally every man we've seen on the street.
Speaker 1: What the fuck? Can we just say every man in
Speaker 1: Toronto is maybe gay? Maybe gay, I mean maybe gay
Speaker 1: and fully hot. Like I mean, it's y'all are turning
Speaker 1: fall up. But wait, I actually, by the way, my
Speaker 1: name is Matt Rogers Stevenzony. I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1: You guys so much for coming out. Um uh Bowen
Speaker 1: Yang is absent tonight. He got a new job. Unfortunately
Speaker 1: it's Saturday night, so this is a conflict for him. Yes, unfortunately.
Speaker 1: But you know what, honey, I am here to scoop
Speaker 1: the Yes, yes, honey, seat will take the gig, toss
Speaker 1: it right in the bag. Yes, m Davi is here.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Um, you guys, we are having such
Speaker 1: a good time. Literally, Toronto is now one of our
Speaker 1: favorite cities. First sure, I mean, the food is good,
Speaker 1: the cocktails are good. I mean, and like we said,
Speaker 1: like every guy in the street, like will maintain eye
Speaker 1: contact with you and like they don't look away. And
Speaker 1: so they walked by and Matt and are like was
Speaker 1: he and wait? Was he? I have a question? Do
Speaker 1: we think that everyone looks so good today? Because it's
Speaker 1: like the first real day of fall, and they're they've
Speaker 1: decided to take turnal. Look. Yes, everyone's had a jacket
Speaker 1: on layaway and everyone's like, oh my god, it's time
Speaker 1: for my jacket. That's my September twenty ninth jacket that
Speaker 1: I laid out nice and special. Absolutely, I mean, you
Speaker 1: gotta get it out. We've been waiting. Excuse me, I
Speaker 1: have I have something to say. I got a manicure
Speaker 1: for you guys, alright whatever. Toronto Blue Jay, Blue Bitch
Speaker 1: Matt's Matt's never gotten to manicure before, so like now
Speaker 1: now that he has one for the first time, he's
Speaker 1: like holding his beer like this, ordering, like ordering from
Speaker 1: the menu like this. I I you know how, you
Speaker 1: know how famously when you get a manicure, you have
Speaker 1: to let it try. Yes, So I sat there for
Speaker 1: like way too long and they were like, you can leave.
Speaker 1: Bit like they're trying trying. I wanted to make sure, well,
Speaker 1: you like the Blowers. I like the Blowers. It's actually
Speaker 1: a rule of culture number seventeen. I love the Blowers. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So Toronto Blue Jays, I mean this is this is big.
Speaker 1: My cousin, my I grew up with, Thomas is now
Speaker 1: picture for the Toronto Blue Jays. Thomas Panolne. So Thomas Poe.
Speaker 1: We have to make him the gay icon of the
Speaker 1: major league Major League. Listen, he is a total ally.
Speaker 1: He is such a great friend and like, honestly like
Speaker 1: grown up within my entire life. I just got a
Speaker 1: Toronto Blue Jay's jersey with his name on the back. Yes, bitch,
Speaker 1: and I will be rocking it in New York City
Speaker 1: no matter where I go, because I do not care
Speaker 1: because for me, sports are about fashion. Yes, who here
Speaker 1: gives a funk about sports. One woman was like absolute.
Speaker 1: Her name is Cheryl Gretzky. I forgot Wayne Gretzky was
Speaker 1: a person until today. Even tell you, I'm not gonna lie,
Speaker 1: but I feel really special here because my last name
Speaker 1: is Rogers. Yes, and y'all love some Rogers. It was like, Matt,
Speaker 1: I think we could just walk in to like maybe
Speaker 1: here or here or here and maybe get anything, and
Speaker 1: I'll be like hi, um a reservation for two. My
Speaker 1: name is Matt Rogers, and they'll be like right away, sir,
Speaker 1: or not, or just be like yeah, like a thousand
Speaker 1: other fucking bitches get to the back of the line.
Speaker 1: I see you in your merch. I see you in
Speaker 1: your march. Can you stand up and show the merch
Speaker 1: every It's actually this is so cool, you guys. It's
Speaker 1: actually a real love culture number seven. There's always an
Speaker 1: opportunity to sell merch. Sure, um, I don't own a
Speaker 1: piece of our merch. I actually don't either, but I'm
Speaker 1: waiting for it for free, Mama. I can't get a
Speaker 1: discount on it, even though it's my own thing. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is interesting to no one? Cool. Um,
Speaker 1: So you guys listen to the podcast who here listens
Speaker 1: to the podcast awesome? Who here does not? And it
Speaker 1: is confused? Yeo, you guys are like all on the back.
Speaker 1: That's good. Uh, what's happening tonight? What's happening tonight you guys?
Speaker 1: Is we are doing? I don't think so, honey live
Speaker 1: and so this Yeah, so this is um a show
Speaker 1: that Bowen and I have done in New York and
Speaker 1: Los Angeles and this is our very first time doing
Speaker 1: a real I don't think so, honey, almost said across
Speaker 1: the pond, overseas, honey, overseas. Okay, in another nation, and um,
Speaker 1: I must say, a much better nation. You guys are.
Speaker 1: You can't even take to be here. Yeah, you guys
Speaker 1: are doing like how to be a country so much
Speaker 1: better than taking notes seriously, Um, but basically, what's gonna
Speaker 1: happen is we're gonna have thirty comedians grace the stage
Speaker 1: and they are going to take one minute to rail
Speaker 1: against something in pop culture that is pissing them off,
Speaker 1: that needs to be taken down A notch bitch that
Speaker 1: needs to hear it. Okay, So you're saying you're looking
Speaker 1: at this thing and you're saying no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: Like we did one yesterday. We we actually did a
Speaker 1: recording with the Angels, Greg Brown and Mitchell Moffa. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, so handsome. Also I genuinely feel like my
Speaker 1: sisters now, yeah, true sisters and also very handsome. Ten
Speaker 1: years together, How how does it happen? No, like that
Speaker 1: was always said, We were like, I know, yeah, everything
Speaker 1: you do comedy, So how have you been together to
Speaker 1: maintain a relationship. So basically, um, they they were on
Speaker 1: our show yesterday and we all didn't I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey. I did mine on several snape. Yes, I
Speaker 1: did mine on that girl who you just met. That's
Speaker 1: saying like I love you like and like hugging you
Speaker 1: kind of from the side, but you just met her.
Speaker 1: It's like, bitch, you don't love me. You have you
Speaker 1: don't know, like many bad things about my personality. Can relax. Um,
Speaker 1: So basically we are going to EMO for you now
Speaker 1: a couple. I don't think so honeys And taking the
Speaker 1: stage first, my co host today Dave Mazzoni, a veteran
Speaker 1: of I don't think, so honey. He actually was a
Speaker 1: finalist in Coach War, the very first competitive I don't think,
Speaker 1: so honey, used to Pat Regan, who yes, Pat, someone
Speaker 1: who's in hollars for Pat. Yeah, we're gonna tell him.
Speaker 1: There were none. There were none, No one knew who
Speaker 1: he was, and you all can seek treatment. So I
Speaker 1: mean to do an example of a pre selected I
Speaker 1: have something I'd like to talk. Okay, so this is
Speaker 1: Dave Mazzoni's pre selected I don't think so honey, and
Speaker 1: his time starts now, I don't think so, honey, rent
Speaker 1: the music hall. Okay, we're not gonna why you have
Speaker 1: to must I never thought that here, like maybe twelve
Speaker 1: years later from being introduced with it, I would take
Speaker 1: this of Benny, who's simply trying to collect the rent
Speaker 1: required to pay for the building his family owns. I
Speaker 1: rewatched the movie recently and was like, I don't understand this.
Speaker 1: They don't want to pay the rent. This doesn't hold up.
Speaker 1: I love out Tonight, Tango Marines a lot of fun,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of production value. B is a lyrical masterpiece,
Speaker 1: but overall they have to pay rent fifteen minutest seconds,
Speaker 1: So you know, just like being in somebody who knows
Speaker 1: a little bit about real estate, I'll say this, Okay,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how queer, how much of an artist
Speaker 1: you are. Now do you ride a big bitch? You
Speaker 1: need to pay your bills. But also pleasing about it.
Speaker 1: One minute fables a true pro thank you. You know
Speaker 1: what song is a slave from rents? What I love
Speaker 1: a ballot? But you know what you guys in the
Speaker 1: movie Rent, did you know that all of the smoke
Speaker 1: that's leaving their mouths is fake? Um? It wasn't cold.
Speaker 1: It was very warm when they filmed it, and so
Speaker 1: they had to animate all of the fog coming out
Speaker 1: of their mouths. Next time you watch it, watch for that.
Speaker 1: Very distracting. It's very distracting more, you know. Alright, great, Okay,
Speaker 1: So Matt, Matt is going to do an example of
Speaker 1: the trobe Ball. Yeah. So we have an a list
Speaker 1: of topics that we together. Yeah, you know, um basically
Speaker 1: like you know, some things that we love that are
Speaker 1: hard to go negative on. Past past troball topics have
Speaker 1: included Julie andrews Um I did one one time on
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, Sandra. Sandra Bowen had to do Sandra and
Speaker 1: it was a fucking meltdown. Wait, Toronto's own Sandra, right,
Speaker 1: She's the queen here. She was fucking robbed at the Emmys, though,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. The Emmy's I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: The Emmy's absolutely already. Man, I'm gonna choose. I'm scared, Okay,
Speaker 1: don't be scared. I'm gonna do my defensive Toronto Blue
Speaker 1: Jay's stance. Okay, to what is it already? You're I
Speaker 1: don't think so. Honny is Drew Barrymore go. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, Drew Barrymore, because you don't do enough
Speaker 1: fucking movies. Where the funk have you been? I don't
Speaker 1: want to see you on Santa Clarita diet, Bitch? What
Speaker 1: the fund is the Santa Clarita diet. The only thing
Speaker 1: I've ever heard about the Santa Clarina diet is a
Speaker 1: doesn't work in real life. I guess and be it
Speaker 1: was gory. My mom said it was too gory. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Drew Barrymore. You have that production company,
Speaker 1: Flower Films. You talk too much about again getting it
Speaker 1: on Amanta Comedy. I don't think, so, honey, Drew Barrymore.
Speaker 1: You do too many movies with sucking. Adam Sandler, bitch.
Speaker 1: Adam Sandler isn't not the one's number six. Adam Sandler
Speaker 1: is not the one. Drew Barrymore, you are sucking again.
Speaker 1: You can pull off brown and blond and red hair.
Speaker 1: What is this the fucking Christina aguilar a Candyman video.
Speaker 1: I've seconds, I'm saying it's Drew Barrymore, You Barrymore on
Speaker 1: screen and it's one minute. Guys, give it up from
Speaker 1: Matt Roger feeling hot. Yes, honey, he is gay. Gay?
Speaker 1: She is gay? He is gay? Allay, are you guys
Speaker 1: ready to start this fucking show? I feel a very
Speaker 1: good energy. It's a very good energy already. So we
Speaker 1: made up some group names for each of the groups.
Speaker 1: Say they'll be coming up in groups of five. Our
Speaker 1: first group is the Blue Jays. We thought about this
Speaker 1: group name for one second, once, entirely one second. Here
Speaker 1: we go, there we go. We got Sam Spurazza, we
Speaker 1: got Ashley Cooper, we got Alice Rose, and we got
Speaker 1: Taylor Rivers. Yes, yes, crad favorite Wow. The very first
Speaker 1: to the mic is Sam Sperraza. Let's do it, Sam, Sam?
Speaker 1: Are you doing? You've got these pants pants? Honey? Yes,
Speaker 1: you better turn the look all right? Are we so
Speaker 1: selected or are we goin the trouble? Were selected? He
Speaker 1: has a predilection for the preselection, and your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. War World War one, World
Speaker 1: War two, the Cold War, Star War, skin War, Storage wars.
Speaker 1: So many wars were forced to watch watch horrifically. Oh
Speaker 1: if I were the first one, I have somebody saying
Speaker 1: the world leaders, okay, stop it I mean it, it's
Speaker 1: really bad. If you ever read a textbook, you know that,
Speaker 1: like from the beginning of time, war has been really bad,
Speaker 1: so bad, and I know that. Like there's all these
Speaker 1: like rules for international war and everything, like you can't
Speaker 1: use certain kinds of flamethrowers. Okay, um, but like seriously,
Speaker 1: there's so much more you could do to help the world.
Speaker 1: Like you could you could go to law school and
Speaker 1: you could graduate SEMDE and then you could, like I
Speaker 1: get a diplomatic job helping the diplomacy between China and
Speaker 1: to bed or you could take a to go cup
Speaker 1: to Starbucks. Easy. Look, all I'm saying. All I'm saying
Speaker 1: is it doesn't have to be so hard. And five seconds.
Speaker 1: That's why for this, So I don't think so hideing
Speaker 1: every clip I get, I'll donate five cents to help
Speaker 1: end war. Which war? I'm so glad you asked all
Speaker 1: of them. Yeah, it's actually rule up. Coats are number seventy.
Speaker 1: Make law school, not war, and please give a warm
Speaker 1: Welcoto the like Ashley Cooper, Ashley Red is your color, lady. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go, Ashley Cooper. You're I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: times starts right now. I don't think so, honey, gate
Speaker 1: keeping fandom. Oh you think because you got bullied when
Speaker 1: you grew up for the things that you like, that
Speaker 1: that means it's your turn. But guess what, motherfucker things
Speaker 1: are for everyone. Comics are for everyone, sci fi is
Speaker 1: for everyone. Sports is for everyone. If you like a thing,
Speaker 1: you're allowed to like a fucking thing. I don't care
Speaker 1: if you spend one minute or one hour or one
Speaker 1: week on it. It doesn't fucking matter. Everybody gets to
Speaker 1: do whatever the funk they want, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to hear. Well, maybe you're not a real fan. If
Speaker 1: go suck a dick of these this head white guys
Speaker 1: who think that they need people to prove themselves to
Speaker 1: them because they cried their ass all the way home
Speaker 1: from schooling great, this is bullshit and everybody should just
Speaker 1: enjoy what they want and shut the fuck up off.
Speaker 1: Five seconds. Yes, yes, bitch, perfect, enjoy our No gatekeepers,
Speaker 1: shut the fun up, shut up, let me enjoy. And
Speaker 1: speaking of enjoyment, I'm about to enjoy. Lucas Loiser, Come on,
Speaker 1: your cute, fuck so handsome talk to us. Are we
Speaker 1: gonna do a pre selected topic. Are we going to
Speaker 1: do the troll ball? Ok? Okay, here we go, Lucas
Speaker 1: Loiser your I don't think so, honey, time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think honey. The disrespectful death of Lexi Great
Speaker 1: from Great Anatomy. Oh so we know where. Literally she
Speaker 1: gets crushed under their plane and died fifteen minutes into
Speaker 1: the episode. Literally mothers everywhere or morning her death during
Speaker 1: a parent like a Pantine commercial. Sadistic. Also, she had
Speaker 1: bangs day seconds bangs literally, so he does not level banks.
Speaker 1: You don't kill banks, you transfer bangs. Also, she was
Speaker 1: dating that forty years old senior Dr. Sloan. It grows,
Speaker 1: that's okay. And then also Sandra afterwards, just like guess what,
Speaker 1: she was devoured by wolves a what the heck? That's
Speaker 1: a bunkers seconds website. And literally, if you dish on
Speaker 1: the death, you never returned. I don't think I wanting
Speaker 1: to disrespectful. That looks like that's one minute. What you
Speaker 1: know what, Matt, that's actually a rule of culture that
Speaker 1: you just said. It's rule of culture. You don't kill bangs.
Speaker 1: You don't kill bangs. You don't kill bangs. If a
Speaker 1: bitch has bangs, you keep her on, you leave, that's
Speaker 1: just killing a role, the one with the bank, the
Speaker 1: one with the bank. Everyone and and respect for Kyler Lee.
Speaker 1: We say her name, alright, alady, welcome Alice Rose, Yes, Alice. Okay,
Speaker 1: so are we doing a priest like the topic or
Speaker 1: the trouble? Oh bit, I got something to talk about
Speaker 1: talk about? All right? Well, Alice, you're I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Chime starts now, I don't think so, honey. Straight boys
Speaker 1: who don't eat pussy. Oh. I was on a date
Speaker 1: a few days ago with a straight guy talking over dinner,
Speaker 1: and he let it's that he doesn't eat pussy, like
Speaker 1: some grand fucking declaration. I was floored. As a member
Speaker 1: of the queer community, I know this ship doesn't stand.
Speaker 1: I'm out there trying my best to be g g G.
Speaker 1: I'm out there eating ass, doing the fucking it's hard miles,
Speaker 1: doing the fucking lord's work. Okay, this motherfucker doesn't want
Speaker 1: to eat pussy. I'm sorry. Seconds you know who's fault
Speaker 1: it is. You know who's really to blame. DJ Khaled, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we've we've all heard that interview, and what the fuck
Speaker 1: motherfucker's out there? Looking like pussy is the only thing
Speaker 1: because it's eating. I'm sorry. Okay, it's a weird place,
Speaker 1: a weird place to start a diet. But who knows.
Speaker 1: Maybe this week, no pussy. Next week he cuts out
Speaker 1: fried food five seconds. The week after that he stops
Speaker 1: feeding off the successes of talented rappers. That's one man,
Speaker 1: Alice Rose. Everybody give it. It's actually it's actually rule
Speaker 1: of culture number nine. I'm out here eating, am I'm
Speaker 1: out here. I'm out here eating a speak to me
Speaker 1: after Already we have one final member of the Blue Darius. Alright,
Speaker 1: it is given up for Taylor Rivers. Let's go, let's go,
Speaker 1: very handsome. Now, let me let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1: Pre select a topic or the troll ball. Okay, already
Speaker 1: in Taylor Rivers, you're I don't think so many time
Speaker 1: starts now, I don't think so any open casket funeral,
Speaker 1: Thank you God. Sorry, sorry, sorry, speak on it. If
Speaker 1: someone in my life calls me and tells me you're dead,
Speaker 1: I'll take their word. I don't need to fucking see
Speaker 1: a dead body, Like what the fuck? Also, like, who
Speaker 1: was the first person to like pitch that? And was like, like,
Speaker 1: who was a sick fucker that was like, you know
Speaker 1: what we could do. We could open it up. You
Speaker 1: can open it up and everyone will have to look
Speaker 1: at it. Also, I don't think so, honey. The makeup
Speaker 1: artists that like work on the corpses. So every time
Speaker 1: I've been to and I don't every time I've been
Speaker 1: to an open casket funeral, the faces like beat for
Speaker 1: the Gods dusted. Why is Grandpa laying there with a
Speaker 1: full contour and a posthumous smoky I wonder. Also, I
Speaker 1: feel like the makeup artists are like trying to get
Speaker 1: like their big break. When I want when I like
Speaker 1: go to funeral, I want to remember the person for
Speaker 1: who they are, not like a Season eleven hopeful with
Speaker 1: a sickening entranced. I don't think so, honey. Open casket funeral,
Speaker 1: that's one minute. Taylor Rivers, Oh my god, but have
Speaker 1: we gotten this off to a six star win? Guys,
Speaker 1: get out Sam's for us, Ashley Cooper, Lucas Lasso, let
Speaker 1: Rose and Taylor Rivers? Yes, thank you all, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I mean, wow,
Speaker 1: damn it a fucking postumo, Miss cat I or whatever
Speaker 1: the funk he said, you know, my grandma recently passed
Speaker 1: away and we were carrying her casket. I yes, I
Speaker 1: was a pall bearer. Thank you. Um. As we were
Speaker 1: carrying her casket, I tripped and I'm pretty sure we
Speaker 1: buried my grandma. Kind of like this, because I definitely
Speaker 1: felt a weight change inside the coffin. But I mean,
Speaker 1: I didn't say anything. Me and my cousin Louis were like,
Speaker 1: let's just not say anything. You can always count on Louis.
Speaker 1: Louis is great, alright. This next category is called may
Speaker 1: believes Honey already Lauren scratch Gia, Louay, Brendan de Suza,
Speaker 1: family built it. Oh my gosh, how's it going? Thank
Speaker 1: you for being here? Guys? Are you excited? Yea? All right,
Speaker 1: and first to the mic is Laurence scratch Law. Lauren,
Speaker 1: are you doing pre selected or do you have something
Speaker 1: for the trouble? I am doing pre selected. This is
Speaker 1: Laurence scratch her. I don't think so, honey. Time starts now,
Speaker 1: all right, I don't think so, honey. The L word reboots. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know if how smell you guys are with
Speaker 1: the L word. But let me say finger paint you
Speaker 1: a picture, all right, so we all know the cast
Speaker 1: of friends right now. Picture Ross as a lesbian. He
Speaker 1: always was L word. Guys, I am so over revival.
Speaker 1: Brenie had willing grace, we had fuller House, we had Rosanne.
Speaker 1: Rest in peace, bitch. Some things just need to be
Speaker 1: left in the past alongside that sex addiction. Guys, we
Speaker 1: the L word was legendary. It was. It was a
Speaker 1: show at its time that showed lesbian death to be
Speaker 1: the same severity as lesbian bed death. Okay, and it
Speaker 1: left us with more questions and answers like why did
Speaker 1: Shane have seven different haircuts? Who? Where did Poppy? Where
Speaker 1: did Poppy go? Does anybody know? I don't know who knows?
Speaker 1: But honestly, guys, we just need to honor things at
Speaker 1: their time. You know, maybe it was problematic, but I
Speaker 1: swearted it. They fucking bring Jenny back from the dead.
Speaker 1: I will cut, not only cut a bit, but so
Speaker 1: her up to I don't think so high. You have
Speaker 1: been warned. Elwood. L word reboot not for us, No,
Speaker 1: that was norn trash. Everyone welcome, jellow, what's up? J'allo
Speaker 1: are so good? So listen, are we doing a pre
Speaker 1: selected topic? Are we doing the trouball? Okay, this is
Speaker 1: yellow wang is pre selected? I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People
Speaker 1: who eat pizza at Chinese bufface, what the fuck is
Speaker 1: wrong with you? You basic colonial clown? Why the funk
Speaker 1: would you eat pizza at a Chinese buffet? Why would
Speaker 1: you pay thirty dollars plus tax to eat sauce on bread?
Speaker 1: Couldn't doctor full cost value analysis before you got to
Speaker 1: this Mandarin? Or do you just have the palette of
Speaker 1: a fucking five year old. The only reason why pizza
Speaker 1: exists at a Chinese the first place is to silence
Speaker 1: demon white children. Otherwise, if you're gonna eat pizza at
Speaker 1: a Chinese buffet, that's kind of like going to M I.
Speaker 1: T for a Humanity's degree. It's not to me eating
Speaker 1: pizza at a Chinese buffet indicative of having a week
Speaker 1: moral character you. I don't think, soney. That was one minute.
Speaker 1: That was amazing. Pizza at the buffet. Pizza is just bread,
Speaker 1: sauce and cheese. And as handsome motherfucker is Brendan de
Speaker 1: Suza Brendon, are we doing pre selected? Are we going
Speaker 1: to the tall first trap. Anthony Parowski is on stage.
Speaker 1: Give it up. What are we thinking? Pre selected? Okay,
Speaker 1: this is Brendan Susis. I don't think so honey, as
Speaker 1: time starts, No, I don't think so honey. Sushian fusion
Speaker 1: sushi Fusian restaurants. Yes, yes, listen, I don't care. How
Speaker 1: cultured do you think you are? Your your sushi burrito
Speaker 1: isn't some hip and trendy new food trend. It's called
Speaker 1: a hand roll. It's exists for literal centuries for your
Speaker 1: gentified as landed On. Queen Weston decided to find a
Speaker 1: new way to eat sushi that circumnavigates your inability to
Speaker 1: ease chopsticks. Wow, I'm a simple brown boy. I like
Speaker 1: all you can eat sushi because it's cheap. Because I'm
Speaker 1: South Asian, I'm already seven percent white rice sushi. I
Speaker 1: don't need to be waiting through a metric ton of
Speaker 1: books of sushi options. You can google sushi and come
Speaker 1: across sushi, burrito, sushi, burger, sushi, pizza, sushi lives on
Speaker 1: what the Sushi List, which you fuckers thought it was
Speaker 1: okay to deep friar rice cake and call it a hamburger. Bunn.
Speaker 1: Sure about that, sweetheart? You really want to eat these
Speaker 1: culinary crimes against Jesus. Restaur soul. At least have the
Speaker 1: fucking decency to come up with an original name for it.
Speaker 1: Five seconds sushi burger, Call it a stuffing stuffed rice
Speaker 1: cake instead of calling it sushi pizza. Just calling gross
Speaker 1: instead of calling it sushi lasagna. Kill yourself. I don't
Speaker 1: think so. And I just want to say a spinoff
Speaker 1: has been birthed. I'm not sure about that, sweetheart. We're
Speaker 1: gonna start doing that show. I'm not sure about that, sweetheart.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I might be into sushi lasagna, but
Speaker 1: we'll say that for another day for ya to uh yeah,
Speaker 1: we're doing pre selected trouble nails. Look so nice. Put
Speaker 1: him in the trouball come oh first, love that. I
Speaker 1: love that, And let me tell you these nails are
Speaker 1: men for picking, because this is a very good one.
Speaker 1: Yow your I don't think so, honey. Trollboat topic is
Speaker 1: Tom Hanks yep, crack and your time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Tom Hanks, how do you win
Speaker 1: the oscar over Dead Dell? Fucking Washing, Run Force, Run,
Speaker 1: run Away, run Away, Get Out of my Mind, Get
Speaker 1: on my head, get Out, get Out. That's a good movie.
Speaker 1: That is a better movie, that deserves an oscar to Mama,
Speaker 1: get Out. I don't think so, Tom Hanks, Philadelphia. That's
Speaker 1: the only thing good you've done in culture easily, isn't it?
Speaker 1: Tom Hanks? I don't think so. How do you collect typewriters?
Speaker 1: What are you typing to yourself? Who's collecting type artist?
Speaker 1: Who the fuck is this guy? What did he writing
Speaker 1: apology letters? Dear l? I don't think so. Many Hanks?
Speaker 1: How good of an actor are you? How can you
Speaker 1: not break calling Hanks out? He's dreamy, he's nice, he's
Speaker 1: a nice character, a nice guy. Daddy doesn't do anything
Speaker 1: for you seconds. Why is he at a network show?
Speaker 1: Is that a blockbuster movies? I don't think you're gonna
Speaker 1: be Mr Rogers. Fuck you have a nice day in
Speaker 1: this neighborhood, mom? Very good, y'all? Y'all. Wait, honestly, I
Speaker 1: will say this, obviously you're a fan, because only a
Speaker 1: fan knows that he collects typewriters. I mean, take a Valvitch. Okay,
Speaker 1: that was unbelievable and now give it up for Emily building.
Speaker 1: The outfit is pride. Suspenders, are prideful, their children suspenders.
Speaker 1: And I woke up like, oh yeah, absolutely, so, Emily,
Speaker 1: are we doing a p I was gonna do trouble,
Speaker 1: but I'm fucking mad. Okay, Okay, so I Emily an
Speaker 1: improvised pre selecting. This is Emily built in improvised. I
Speaker 1: don't think any preestlets the topic and a time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Brett fucking Kevin, No, I don't
Speaker 1: think so. No, you do not get to be part
Speaker 1: of the fucking Supreme Court. Okay. If you are a
Speaker 1: rapist once, you are a rapist for the rest of
Speaker 1: your goddamn life. I don't care if you didn't penetrate
Speaker 1: her whatever. You are a sexual soldier, and that's what
Speaker 1: you would be. I don't care if you have two kids.
Speaker 1: I don't care if you a wive. I don't care
Speaker 1: if you cry. You're fucking sexual soldier. Yes, good, I'm mad. Also,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure he's links with Russia? Do we feel that?
Speaker 1: Do we feel that? Also, he doesn't know what that
Speaker 1: line you know that they described for white supremises, I
Speaker 1: don't know I spent two and a half hours on
Speaker 1: YouTube this morning listening to videos of him and I
Speaker 1: hate him. Yes, yes, like there's are reasons I'm a lesbian.
Speaker 1: I'm celebrating my one year anniversary of being gay, and
Speaker 1: I've never been happier. Yes, we cannot be happy to
Speaker 1: be in Canada right now. America is a garbage nation.
Speaker 1: We are truly happy to be here on Canadian soil.
Speaker 1: And we're so happy about this group. And they believes.
Speaker 1: I believes, Honey Catch Brandon, Susa, Emily Build. Thank you guys. Wow, Matt,
Speaker 1: that was amazing. We had our first trouble, the first trouble,
Speaker 1: and that was an expertly executed I mean, trouble is tough,
Speaker 1: but I feel like when somebody goes for we're on
Speaker 1: their side. Yes, where does do it? Tell? See some
Speaker 1: more triples. There's only been one out of ten already,
Speaker 1: so just ten wow math um Okay. This next group,
Speaker 1: this next group is called the Drake give it up
Speaker 1: for Shane, Louis Hodo, Hersy, Lorenzouandos Come on, out, come
Speaker 1: on, on on, out, come on, out, come on. Yes, and
Speaker 1: the first to the mic, we are proud to welcome
Speaker 1: Alan Shane Louis. Okay, turning a fall. Look, we love
Speaker 1: looking handsome. Handsome indeed, hell, yes we're just so. I'm
Speaker 1: excited in Toronto. Yes, you're like choking me away, just
Speaker 1: have me, have me alright, So sorry we made you
Speaker 1: uncomfortable already, It's now time to ask question Alan, are
Speaker 1: you gonna be doing a pre selected topic or the
Speaker 1: troll ball? Alright? Okay, you're ready, your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Drake. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, all right. I'm black, but I
Speaker 1: do a lot of white things. And the whitest thing
Speaker 1: I do is go to hip hop concerts. And I
Speaker 1: had the misfortunate of going to one free ticket whatever
Speaker 1: it was medium. It was a medium concert, and I
Speaker 1: told my friends this and they hate it. Like you know,
Speaker 1: you don't like you don't like Drake. How you from
Speaker 1: Toronto and you don't like Drake? Alright, first off, you're
Speaker 1: from Merschman Hill. Calm down, Kevin, calm now, listen. I
Speaker 1: understand if it's in the club and it's bumping, you
Speaker 1: can dance, do it. I enjoy it. I understand that,
Speaker 1: But don't pretend for a second, you can meditate on
Speaker 1: any of his lyrics. Honestly, if Drake's snerrics are deep,
Speaker 1: if it was a pool, you couldn't dive in it.
Speaker 1: I couldn't do that, all right, so disingenuous. I can't
Speaker 1: handle that. It's so annoying. You pretend to be a
Speaker 1: gangster almost. He's also here's the one thing about him.
Speaker 1: He is a a finition of a boy. He's straight
Speaker 1: up all right, whether it's not raising his kids with
Speaker 1: dating at but most importantly in the worst thing about
Speaker 1: him five seconds he fakes a Scarborough accident. I can't
Speaker 1: handle that. Shane Lewis, Wow, Wow, you know Drake is
Speaker 1: also in the Trouball Yes we might hear more about here.
Speaker 1: That was amazing everyone giving up for Hodo Hersey to
Speaker 1: the mike. Oh my god, right now I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm lips thinking for my life. Yes, you are, you are?
Speaker 1: You understand so don't it up. Don't suck it out.
Speaker 1: That makes yes, we're not. We're going to decide who
Speaker 1: Michelle is later because they look at two vicious up here.
Speaker 1: We both want to be Are we doing pre selected
Speaker 1: or trouble? We're doing a motherfucking pre select Hoto Hersey.
Speaker 1: Here is your I don't think so, honey, and your
Speaker 1: time begins now. I don't think so honey. People against
Speaker 1: gentrification here hear me out. Okay, all right, I know
Speaker 1: you guys are like, we're white. Are we allowed to laugh?
Speaker 1: You are okay? You are? You are okay waiting for that?
Speaker 1: I am your Martin Luther King. You understand? Okay? Stand up, bitch. Listen.
Speaker 1: Some say it's bad, but I just think it's fun
Speaker 1: hipster colonialism, you know what I mean. It's oppression, but
Speaker 1: we're having a good time. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like, listen, I can have coconut vegan ice cream
Speaker 1: while like a Filipino family is getting evicted, which is sad,
Speaker 1: but their house will get turned into a hot yoga studio.
Speaker 1: So that's tons of fun, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Having wrong. I'm tired of coffee time. I want multiple
Speaker 1: Starbucks this in my neighborhood. Do you under Do you understand?
Speaker 1: Thank you? So I see some of the white guilt. Listen,
Speaker 1: I that's it. That's fine. Minute with an argument for gentrification. Listen,
Speaker 1: more yoga, more coffee, Dave. That's where we both finished
Speaker 1: our drinks while that was going, Oh my gosh, we like,
Speaker 1: you know, it would be great if they had the
Speaker 1: beer store somewhere near. Guys. The beer store is the
Speaker 1: funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm like, I love it.
Speaker 1: I want to live there. We were explained to that
Speaker 1: you can't just buy beer easily here. No, it's like tough.
Speaker 1: There's like restrictions. All right, so it's not perfect here, Okay, okay, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: everyone please welcome Marshall, Lorenzos Mayes Nazy. Hey, Marshall, So
Speaker 1: are we doing a pre selected Unfortunately, we are doing
Speaker 1: pre selected. It's fine. It's gonna be a very hot,
Speaker 1: felt true store. Okay, here we go. I love heartfelt
Speaker 1: and true. Your time starts. No, okay, I don't think so. Honey,
Speaker 1: my first to run a roommate and Hathaway's brother, poor
Speaker 1: the tea. I'm sorry that I didn't know that you
Speaker 1: guys were related to each other. And I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: I ate all of that meat loaf that the restaurant
Speaker 1: didn't have on the menu the first time that we met.
Speaker 1: It's just that when you said that you were your
Speaker 1: first job was the assistant to your sister who's maybe
Speaker 1: an actress. Why would I know that that's Ann Hathaway.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Michael Hathaway that that. Eight months later, I
Speaker 1: had a Oscar's theme party when my friend showed up
Speaker 1: in a tuxedo Heidi Branda and saying is that okay?
Speaker 1: And then you stole them down and finally admitted that
Speaker 1: you were related to Ann Hathaway. I'm sorry that that happened,
Speaker 1: but I didn't see all of the Apple TV screen
Speaker 1: savers that were happening, all of the family photos, all
Speaker 1: of the waiting photosmates. I'm not that spot. I am
Speaker 1: sorry that my mom said you a hand crafted piece
Speaker 1: of tile that said Hathaway's cottage and I hitted my
Speaker 1: bedside table and you found it after I left you.
Speaker 1: And that's one minute. And that's one minute. Oh wait, darling,
Speaker 1: we had to unpack. Wait wait was it her gay brother? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I love, we love. Did you ever go to Hathaway's cottage?
Speaker 1: I never went to me and I never went to
Speaker 1: a hathawayte cottage. Alright, so you did not do your duty. No,
Speaker 1: you were supposed to go to recon at and Hathawayte
Speaker 1: cottage with her gay brother other people came to hathawayte
Speaker 1: Cottage with me. Oh, and that's a story that didn't happen. Happen.
Speaker 1: Thank Youzo, and now please welcome Aba. I'm a kanda
Speaker 1: to the mike. Yes, okay, so Aba, yes, talk to me.
Speaker 1: Are we doing a preselet the topic or the troll ball?
Speaker 1: I like to plan as a pre select Okay, We've
Speaker 1: got some astrology people on the front. You alright, I'm kwondo.
Speaker 1: Here is your time. It begins now. I don't think so, Honey.
Speaker 1: Having to buy a new pair of jeans over three
Speaker 1: years because of Chubb rub ever sence the age of thirteen,
Speaker 1: I have spent ten thousand dollars or more on buying
Speaker 1: a pair of new jeans. I was imagining a new
Speaker 1: future for myself where the insides of the fucking jeans
Speaker 1: right here near the pussy would be reinforced. However, in
Speaker 1: this the year of France, are just throwing tacos and
Speaker 1: fucking rose embroidery on the jeans and calling it a day.
Speaker 1: You know, Honey, I love you, but make your denom bigger. Mama.
Speaker 1: I don't have I don't have another forty five dollars
Speaker 1: to give you, baby, I'm popped. I think the government
Speaker 1: should give us fift in individuals grants so that we
Speaker 1: can buy various cloths and fabrics to reinforce the inside
Speaker 1: of our fucking pants. Okay, if I have a hole
Speaker 1: so close to my pussy, Okay, it's uncool. I don't
Speaker 1: think so. That's one minute. Do you know what that's
Speaker 1: actually a rule? Culture? What are you gonna say? I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, it's culture number seventy two I have.
Speaker 1: I haven't had to depart with so many jeans that
Speaker 1: I was in love with because of its exact reason.
Speaker 1: You just hit me right in the heart. Wow, hit
Speaker 1: her in the art. Alright, alright, final for the Drake,
Speaker 1: Jane Niles Craig, Come on, Jane, Jane as Jane. Okay,
Speaker 1: so Jade, as the closer of the group called the Drake,
Speaker 1: are we doing a trouble or a pre selected topic?
Speaker 1: I got something to say. Also, it's my birthday. Happy
Speaker 1: birthday too, Happy birthday to happy people, happy people. As
Speaker 1: this song doesn't have a proper end, it doesn't have
Speaker 1: a good end, but that alright, Jade Niles Craig, on
Speaker 1: your birthday, your I don't think so honey, time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. White people with dreads no
Speaker 1: no speak on it. I am so tired of seeing
Speaker 1: fucking distasteful white people the Kardashian wearing dreadlocks as a
Speaker 1: fashion statement. These people are scrambling for ship to steal
Speaker 1: from Black folks now that we have autonomy and ship.
Speaker 1: I don't understand why you think that it looks nice
Speaker 1: putting that much effort into looking that deplorable seconds. Black
Speaker 1: people lock their hair in Rassafarian culture as a rejection
Speaker 1: of vanity and as a rejection of westernized beauty standards.
Speaker 1: White people lock their hair to piss off their parents
Speaker 1: and fit in better a burning man half ten seconds.
Speaker 1: Saying that you have ethnic hair because you have hair
Speaker 1: and an ethnicity is like saying you're not a criminal
Speaker 1: just because you happen to live in the white house.
Speaker 1: Five seconds. I don't think so, honey. You need to
Speaker 1: acknowledge your privilege. You can do that shape when we're
Speaker 1: treated equally by the courts and the cops, and until then,
Speaker 1: leave our fucking beauty supplies. What it? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Jay's so everyone that was the drake Alan Shane Lewis
Speaker 1: d Hersey, Marsh Lorenzo, I'm a condo, Jane Niles Craig,
Speaker 1: Thank you guys. Can you believe we are halfway through
Speaker 1: the show? Are you guys feeling good? Are you guys wet?
Speaker 1: The last group was called the Drake, and this group
Speaker 1: is called Drake. Everyone give it up for Chris Middleton,
Speaker 1: give it up for Susan Wasting, Nadelie Norman, Harris Anderson
Speaker 1: and Ben sos A. Right, hey guys, Hello everyone, Hey, hello,
Speaker 1: everyone already okay, So first from Drake is Chris Middleton
Speaker 1: in a jacket that I want? Yes, Matt deserves that jacket.
Speaker 1: Oh'sible affordable style. I actually was going to wear the
Speaker 1: one that Allen chaileyis was wearing right now. Oh no,
Speaker 1: that would have been somebody would have had to die,
Speaker 1: somebody would have had to go. Already, are you going
Speaker 1: to do pre Selected or the troll Ball? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, wait are you okay? Oh I guess
Speaker 1: somebody's happening. Oh my god, no waiting everyone someone, Oh
Speaker 1: troll ball? Give it that ball bit? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Oh I am thoroughly gag you know, is a sucker
Speaker 1: for reveal Chris, we have to get a picture after that.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, poet is going to the fashion change
Speaker 1: the fashion change your life. I'm honestly so terrified. All right,
Speaker 1: do not be afraid because you've come out with the
Speaker 1: shirt that means you think your claim and you are
Speaker 1: doing a trouble against Canada's own Avril Lavine. You're telling
Speaker 1: your time suns now. I don't think so, Hi, Avril Lavine,
Speaker 1: What the fund is up with your music? Now? Be complicated?
Speaker 1: Give me skater boy? What is this hallow Kenny ship?
Speaker 1: I'm with you. You're married to the guy lead singer
Speaker 1: from Nickelback, the most hated band on the planet. What
Speaker 1: the fund is wrong with you? You could literally have anybody.
Speaker 1: You're so pretty, like love yourself more. I don't think
Speaker 1: honey ever Levin, what then have you been doing recently?
Speaker 1: I have not heard a new aber Levine song and
Speaker 1: so long, and I wanted to be rock. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be reminiscent of like a two thousand's Chris Middleton
Speaker 1: with like guyliner and like black everything. She was my everything,
Speaker 1: literally my karaoke anthem. Put out more beggars like that, Hey,
Speaker 1: hey you you I don't like you, Gabra Levine, I
Speaker 1: don't think so high. Five seconds five seconds, aber Levine,
Speaker 1: you're in a space to Canada. I don't think no, honey.
Speaker 1: I will say this. Here's here's the shade she just
Speaker 1: released in his single like last week, bitch about it.
Speaker 1: Listen there, that's the shade against her, that is sht
Speaker 1: and literally sat alone and cried, I'm with you. That's
Speaker 1: still from the bridge. And yeah, alright, Middleton, you fucking
Speaker 1: give it up for Susan waste Hey, calm, they fucked down. Yes, So, Susan,
Speaker 1: here's a question for you. Are we doing And I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, trouble or and I don't think
Speaker 1: it's honey pre selected. It's very pret very pre slected. Indeed,
Speaker 1: here's Susan was sex. I don't think so, honey, and
Speaker 1: her time starts now. I don't think so honey. Shaleen Woodley,
Speaker 1: thank you. Like I don't know what big little lies
Speaker 1: you told to get on a show with Reese, Laura
Speaker 1: dern Zoick Kravit and I called kivin, Oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: like literally, it's a gem of a show in your
Speaker 1: fucking sham of an actor. Did we all just forget
Speaker 1: the fault in our stars. It was like the only
Speaker 1: movie where I wanted a heavy quotes protagonist to die
Speaker 1: from their terminal illness. And I don't want to hear
Speaker 1: you want to talk show talking about how you like
Speaker 1: own one pair of jeans. You smell so bad. Fashion
Speaker 1: designer don't want to dress you dusting. I'm so so
Speaker 1: sick of Shale Woodley, like we didn't ask for a
Speaker 1: poor man's Jennifer Laurence fift seconds. You should probably just
Speaker 1: diverge from acting, which I think will be super easy.
Speaker 1: Just pack your fucking begs. You just have like one
Speaker 1: pair of jeans and shirts. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: what a one minute wait. I don't know the words.
Speaker 1: I don't know this t she smells bad. Allegedly she
Speaker 1: smells bad, and designers are like, no thanks, I buy this,
Speaker 1: I buy I purchas. She's like a liberal liberal Wow,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Hit up every one for Natalie Norman
Speaker 1: iteration Natalie Norman. I love it how you're doing. I
Speaker 1: feel sick. This is my nightmare. You're gonna do a
Speaker 1: trouble or let's do the trouble, all right. That's how
Speaker 1: you guys, why not, honey, litten Okay, okay, okay, oh
Speaker 1: your I don't think so, honey. Topic is the reality show?
Speaker 1: The voice? Can we do this? I mean I don't
Speaker 1: know much, but is where is the voice a Canadian thing? No?
Speaker 1: Well then who We're not gonna okay, because we put
Speaker 1: it in with a big question. We were like, we
Speaker 1: don't know if they do the voice in Canada. We don't.
Speaker 1: We have it on television in America. But you guys
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck, no, no, alright, alright, thank you,
Speaker 1: all right, So instead we have Sean Mandez. Do you're
Speaker 1: not caring either? To you? Do you also not give
Speaker 1: a funk about Sean? I don't know, alright, strike too,
Speaker 1: and you know what and you know what that is? Shade?
Speaker 1: That shade, that is shade right there, that's a whole.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Already, What about what about
Speaker 1: this is so funny, Natalie? What about Disney World? Hi?
Speaker 1: Already are right? I don't think so, honey. On Disney
Speaker 1: World starts now, I don't think so, honey, Disney World.
Speaker 1: What the fund is that ship? I'm Jewish and I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure it's all fucking anti Semitic there, Why the
Speaker 1: funk do we ever go there? What are we not adults? Hey?
Speaker 1: What about those fucking weirdos who are adults are obsessed
Speaker 1: with Disney World? Grow the funk up? Okay, we got
Speaker 1: real things like the Kardashian I don't even what is
Speaker 1: there one in Paris? To what the fund is that
Speaker 1: euro track? I will go to the one in Tokyo.
Speaker 1: I'll go that one for sure has some funked up
Speaker 1: section and I am down for that, down for that.
Speaker 1: I don't know what else does that? I just fifteen seconds,
Speaker 1: you have more time, Okay, They're just any time I
Speaker 1: go in there, I get scared and five seconds I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Disney World, that's one minute. It's true.
Speaker 1: Walt Disney World famous, Walt Disney famously anti semitic. Yes,
Speaker 1: and we have famously been there exclusive every year as
Speaker 1: high as we could get. Not because of the anti semitism,
Speaker 1: because of the rides. Anyway, we're leaving the spot, all right,
Speaker 1: everyone welcome Karriss Anderson. Hello, handsome handsome. So what are
Speaker 1: we thinking at this at this at this moment, like
Speaker 1: are we doing trollball or are pre selected I got
Speaker 1: a bone to pick. Stey's got a bone to pick.
Speaker 1: Carris Anderson, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Gay guys who don't have lesbian friends, wow, are sucked
Speaker 1: up log cabin Republicans, and I am onto you. Lesbians
Speaker 1: have been there for us from the get go. They
Speaker 1: are our sisters. They used to marry us so we
Speaker 1: wouldn't be socially ostracized. They took care of us during
Speaker 1: the AIDS crisis, and they gave birth to our babies
Speaker 1: while we were still frosting our fucking tipsconds. I know
Speaker 1: that your friend Amber told you that lesbians are aggressive
Speaker 1: because one time a lesbian came up to her in
Speaker 1: a bar gasp. But Amber is a useless homophobe who
Speaker 1: thinks you're a purse. She would trade you for a
Speaker 1: vodka crown, honey. And I don't think, Sonny, the ambiguity
Speaker 1: of the situation. Are you ignoring lesbians because you're a
Speaker 1: shittick or a lesbians ignoring you because they can smell
Speaker 1: your toxicity like a cat smells cancer. Find out know?
Speaker 1: And I hate ambiguity, bitch. I don't think, Sonny. Guys
Speaker 1: who aren't friends with lesbian and that's what crowded your horizons,
Speaker 1: you guys, Thank you Karen. You know LGBT starts with L.
Speaker 1: It starts with L. That's actually a rule of culture
Speaker 1: number three. LGBT starts with L and give it up
Speaker 1: for Ben. So so right, another beautiful fault jacket. This
Speaker 1: is gorge This is wonderful. I have heard the legend
Speaker 1: of Ben. Now tell me, are we going to be
Speaker 1: doing a pre selected topic or the troll ball? I
Speaker 1: have something to say, he has something. It's a preselect
Speaker 1: and Ben? So so right, your I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: topic starts now. I don't think so, honey. The models
Speaker 1: on America's Next Top Model who cry when they get
Speaker 1: their makeover, I don't think so, honey. If Tyra Bank
Speaker 1: says you have the bone structure for a pixie, that's
Speaker 1: a compliment, honey. Compliments are not meant to be cried over.
Speaker 1: If BETL. Sason himself came into my house and said
Speaker 1: I could work in asymmetrical Bob, I would be kissing
Speaker 1: his feet, Honey. I would not be crying. Also, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. How they always try to sow
Speaker 1: weaves into white women's hair really a constant thing every season,
Speaker 1: and they always removed the weave the next day. They
Speaker 1: never stay on their heads. I don't think so honey
Speaker 1: girls who can appreciate the power in a PIXTI cut. Okay. Also,
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey girls who don't funk with bangs.
Speaker 1: Bangs are fashion for words five seconds. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey girls on America's Accept Model who quite but
Speaker 1: their makeover. Yeah, fantass a right, I agree a thousand.
Speaker 1: We're all in agreement here. Give it up for Drake,
Speaker 1: Chris Middleton, Susan White saying Natalie Norman man so so right,
Speaker 1: Thank you guys. God wow. I actually review America's Next
Speaker 1: Top Model for Vulture, and I can tell you as like,
Speaker 1: the only person who still watches it is bad, bad, bad,
Speaker 1: bad bad, and Tyra might be a bad person. There's
Speaker 1: watched the show. I mean the only que I remember
Speaker 1: was like, you're crying and I'm glad you're crying, and
Speaker 1: it's like, no, it's not as iconic as it was.
Speaker 1: You can't season this season she cut one girl because
Speaker 1: she was a bad person on the inside, and the
Speaker 1: girl was like, okay, cool, Thank you, and she wouldn't
Speaker 1: let her leave until she had said it five more times.
Speaker 1: It was like she accepted it, like Okay, I heard you.
Speaker 1: I have to leave. Everyone. Give it up for this
Speaker 1: next group, which is called poutine squaw, give it up
Speaker 1: for Claire, give it up for Andrew ivanmy Ryle Brown,
Speaker 1: wren Nina Atlases. Hey, guys, exited, very excited. Hello, let's
Speaker 1: have the first to the micro. Miss Claire, sare what
Speaker 1: is that you're drinking? It's beer batch. It's be all right,
Speaker 1: so ms Claire, are we doing a trouble? Which have
Speaker 1: we only had two? We've only had two? This is
Speaker 1: six three, we've had only three? Wonderful? All right? So
Speaker 1: are we doing trouble? Or a priest left the topic? Claire? Um, First,
Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge all of those that have
Speaker 1: come before us, And I don't think so, honey, Rowl Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you pioneers, everyone that's come before her, they're all
Speaker 1: dead now pre selected. This is Claire as is pre selected.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, Honey. At her time starts now,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Megan Merkele and Prince Harry's wedding, Wow, Okay, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no bat Oh my god, the fashion that dress? Why
Speaker 1: are you a bleached sack to your own wedding? Not
Speaker 1: to mention you let your fiance slash future husband wears
Speaker 1: depressed stegosaurs backwards outfit. Oh my god, your best friend
Speaker 1: is sitting in the front row and she's all like
Speaker 1: Selfie's from the back. She's all like this from all
Speaker 1: Rooney with her husband who looks like he's like Kendall
Speaker 1: down below. My bull food? What is that? Come up
Speaker 1: with a better terminology. Also, when they took the pictures
Speaker 1: out front, they look like a hairy vagina around the door.
Speaker 1: I know, no, honey, no plan your wedding better. Wow,
Speaker 1: I will say this. Wait, I didn't give a funk
Speaker 1: about their wedding. Do you guys have to care? Oh?
Speaker 1: I didn't subscribe to it at all. I didn't give
Speaker 1: a fun. Do we like Megan? See? I was just
Speaker 1: panicking over my own nation, so I was not. I
Speaker 1: mean we liked that she was on suits. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was cool that she was. Everyone give it up for
Speaker 1: Andrew ivany Andrew? Now what are we thinking? I like
Speaker 1: the I like I'm stealing that. That's how are you
Speaker 1: feeling in terms of Trouball versus I don't think so
Speaker 1: any pre prepared topic. I'm gonna do a pre selection. Okay, baby,
Speaker 1: I feel like I've let you down, but I don't
Speaker 1: see Trouball. Alrighty great, So what are we doing? Your
Speaker 1: time startarts now? I don't think so, honey. Books that
Speaker 1: come with a map, Hey, hey, fantasy novels that have
Speaker 1: a three page map at the beginning? Can you cool it?
Speaker 1: Can you fucking cool it? I don't want to have
Speaker 1: to take a geography lesson before I read a book.
Speaker 1: It's eighteen and I'm reading a book. They should already
Speaker 1: be throwing me a parade for doing that, not giving
Speaker 1: me more homework before my homework. I don't care what
Speaker 1: the lay of the shirt. You wrote a fantasy novel
Speaker 1: and you're like, but you need to know that the
Speaker 1: mountains are to the north before the cursed Tower of
Speaker 1: slew Dune. I don't give a ship. Just write it
Speaker 1: in the book. Have the characters just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: let's go through the mountain. That's the only way, and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, great, I believe you. I wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: fat check your I'm bad with real world geography. I
Speaker 1: don't need her fantasy ship. Five seconds. I Google mapped
Speaker 1: how to get here tonight, and I live in this city.
Speaker 1: I don't need a fantasy map. You're fucking got my book,
Speaker 1: and that's what I'm Oh my god, my god. I mean,
Speaker 1: I have famously never read one book, but I'm sure
Speaker 1: what you're saying is, and I've read it. I've read
Speaker 1: between one and twenty books, and I did read The
Speaker 1: Lord of the No not those those are too long,
Speaker 1: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Those have maps
Speaker 1: and they're not even real real place, bitch. See. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about the Game of Thrones intro, where it's like
Speaker 1: they kind of give us the whole scene. I do
Speaker 1: enjoy that because of the gears and everything. Anyway, end
Speaker 1: of a NERD conversation. Instead, let's bring up Tim Blair. Hey, Tim, Tim, Hey,
Speaker 1: so talk to us? Is it a priest lot of
Speaker 1: topic or the troll bowl? Okay, baby boy, Tim Blair?
Speaker 1: Your I don't think so, honey. Time starts you say,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Cannabis themed T shirts? You
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about? A weed wear gonja garments.
Speaker 1: You know it's those tops the potheads rock where it's
Speaker 1: like it's a tie die graphic t with like pot
Speaker 1: leaves all over it, a bunch of barbed wire for
Speaker 1: no reason. I guess it's there to like give it
Speaker 1: the austet, give it a little bit of edge because
Speaker 1: you have got like a carpet rotted cartoon character on
Speaker 1: the front, just taking a tope like like damn, I
Speaker 1: don't know how you did cush like it's sucked up.
Speaker 1: Like those shirts are so tacky. It has to stop,
Speaker 1: all right, because like we're like nineteen days away from
Speaker 1: legalization in this country. Yeah, yeah, soon, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: like wearing white after Labor Day. It's getting ridiculous, right,
Speaker 1: And plus, like what did this campaign even do? Like
Speaker 1: at leasia legged shirt legalized shirt never did anything. Like
Speaker 1: the only reason, the only possible way a legalizing shirt
Speaker 1: could have made a difference if the Prime Minister was
Speaker 1: like looking through his old clothes and like pulled up
Speaker 1: a shirt and then the other hand found a shirt
Speaker 1: with a Nike slogan on it and was like, huh,
Speaker 1: just do it all right? Wow, Honestly, guys, it's a
Speaker 1: it's a reminder that you guys are getting legalized weed.
Speaker 1: It's that's the fact that we're here nineteen days before
Speaker 1: it happens is fucking infurious. It's personal against us. It's
Speaker 1: an attack. It's an attack on us in our family.
Speaker 1: Where's the weed that finding? Everyone? Welcome? Kyle Brown, rag
Speaker 1: what they're all handsome? So handsome. Sorry, we didn't mean
Speaker 1: to say that out loud, but we also did. Um
Speaker 1: it's so, Kyle, are we doing a preslet the topic
Speaker 1: or the troll ball? It's a little bit of both,
Speaker 1: a little bit of plain hell I'm gonna be doing
Speaker 1: I don't think so, Honey aber Levine Part two, Wow, Yes,
Speaker 1: I love this and your time starts now. Bitch. You
Speaker 1: are the answer to the question what if the Lanis
Speaker 1: Morrissett didn't have talent? Ah, she's always going on about
Speaker 1: her lime disease. We get it. Bit, you look unwashed
Speaker 1: in most of your music videos. If you were on
Speaker 1: Charlie Brown, you would be that character with the dirt
Speaker 1: cloud following you everywhere? Are you really that shocked that
Speaker 1: a parasite attached itself to your body? Ha ha ha?
Speaker 1: But enough about Chad Kroger despit for the records. Shania
Speaker 1: Twain also has lime disease. Do you hear her bitching
Speaker 1: about it all the time? She just released a new
Speaker 1: album and she's on a world tour. Bitch, take a
Speaker 1: note five seconds. I'm a huge ven verse. I love her. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you ky forever rendvallha. We will be together all
Speaker 1: of as we fucking love Shannaia. I'm with all the
Speaker 1: way to the end. And now everyone welcome Nina adline. Nina,
Speaker 1: are we doing a trouball or a pre selected or
Speaker 1: some combination of the two, which we've now discovered as possible. Well,
Speaker 1: I was going to do a pre selected, but I'm
Speaker 1: feeling well, Troy, Okay, right, all right, Nina, let's see
Speaker 1: what did I pull? Okay, okay. This trouball topic is
Speaker 1: Happy Birthday the song Nina Haveler, Your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Happy Birthday the song. There
Speaker 1: is no such as a happy birthday. I planned my
Speaker 1: whole year around when I'm going to do the night
Speaker 1: before my birthday October one, Yes, thank you, because I
Speaker 1: don't want to be out in public to explain to
Speaker 1: people about where I'm reflecting in life. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Happy Birthday because most people for their birthdays are wishing
Speaker 1: something different from their life. People don't need to be
Speaker 1: reminded that they haven't phoned their mothers or fathers in
Speaker 1: a while, their siblings are probably doing funk all somewhere,
Speaker 1: and that they don't have enough friends to throw themselves
Speaker 1: as a prize party this, I don't think so, Honey,
Speaker 1: Happy Birthday. You're a song that no one can sing
Speaker 1: five seconds using you to test people's vocal range, it's
Speaker 1: just absurd, you know, I couldn't. I can find it
Speaker 1: into that because you're just a joke, Nina. It's true,
Speaker 1: honestly though, I'll say it sound good singing it. No,
Speaker 1: But you know, when you've got a room of musical theater,
Speaker 1: gaze because the harmonies for Happy Birthday are always they're up.
Speaker 1: That's always me to And with that, thank you Puttin Squaky,
Speaker 1: Tim Blair Brown, Nina Atlas, Yes, thank you all so much. Wow.
Speaker 1: This next group is the final group sad and we
Speaker 1: had to look up a Toronto specific and we discovered
Speaker 1: Keeper Sutherland, Kevin's very own for Chris Sandifer, Johanna, Edward Taylor,
Speaker 1: Templeton Smith, Evie Samato and Shanti Marastica. Hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: wow serving looks, looks are served. Yes, everyone, welcome Chris
Speaker 1: Sandifert to the mic carress. It is time. Hello, hello, hello, Hello.
Speaker 1: Before we begin, I think the group wanted me to
Speaker 1: speak just real quick about how we're all gonna go
Speaker 1: from the bull tonight. O'm gonna do it. God, Matt,
Speaker 1: has this ever happened? This has never happen before. We've
Speaker 1: never had a declaration of such such solidary row wisdom. Yes, this,
Speaker 1: this group is together. The bowl is I made this
Speaker 1: bowl myself. It's a beautiful ball. I I glass blew
Speaker 1: it and here we go, So Chris, here we go.
Speaker 1: I blew it, all right, So here we go. I
Speaker 1: hope that you came on with her a game because
Speaker 1: your I don't think so, Honey. Topic is John Lennon.
Speaker 1: I said it was a trouble and your time, Chris
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't think so, John Lennon, you died
Speaker 1: and that's why Paul McCartney wrote temporary Secretary? How is
Speaker 1: this song? Is this why you died? You left for me?
Speaker 1: With this song? All I need is a temporary what's
Speaker 1: the lyric in that song? All Right, I'm gonna treat
Speaker 1: her right. I'm never gonna keep her till late at night.
Speaker 1: She doesn't need to know how to do sexy things.
Speaker 1: But why did you bring it up? Let it be?
Speaker 1: Let it be? Oh, I don't think so, John Lennon,
Speaker 1: you should be here now. You know we need you
Speaker 1: now more than ever. Who's the president? Seconds? Seconds? Oh
Speaker 1: my god? Okay, uh you got time? Thirty? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't think so, honey, John Lennon. Those circle glasses.
Speaker 1: Uh second? You ever hear of contact lenses? You know?
Speaker 1: Oh you think a stroll? He might not. Don't walk
Speaker 1: in the park, you silly bitch. Okay, five seconds? Five seconds.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Thank you so much. That's
Speaker 1: one minute, Chris. Wow. All of a sudden, this group
Speaker 1: is like, I don't know John Lennon's coming out of here.
Speaker 1: Here we go, Shawn at Edward, shann listen house of Edward.
Speaker 1: Thank you? Now? Are we sticking with this pack? Troball?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we are going to fault. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm Harabius. Everyone tall, Okay, here we go. So your
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Topic is Tim Hortons You
Speaker 1: a problem? A problem? Go? Oh fudge yo, yo, Tim,
Speaker 1: motherfucking Hortons. I don't think so, honey. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you when I walk in first thing in the motherfucking
Speaker 1: morning and there's a goddamn lineup outside the fucking door,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna tell me when I order my dark
Speaker 1: crosst regular double cups that this fucking coffee is stale.
Speaker 1: It is eight in the fucking morning. What have you
Speaker 1: been doing? What the fuck have you been doing? And
Speaker 1: then you're gonna tell me when I order a dozen
Speaker 1: motherfucking doughnuts, not only one of those bitches is gonna
Speaker 1: be a crueler? What of those pitches? This is start
Speaker 1: my whole, This is my hardle this I these two
Speaker 1: apologized for coming in late last week. I came in
Speaker 1: late last week. But donuts, this is how one is
Speaker 1: a cooler. What the funk are the rest? Chocolate dip?
Speaker 1: Suck my dip and that's what I mean? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So like Matt didn't know, I didn't know. I didn't
Speaker 1: know what Tim Horton's was, and I was like, no,
Speaker 1: it's beloved. We must put it in the bowl. Can
Speaker 1: I ask you a question, what's the double cup? Yeah?
Speaker 1: A double cup instead of a sleeve that still burns
Speaker 1: your motherfucking fingers. You know what I mean. I'm weak.
Speaker 1: I'm weak in the winter, I'm weak in the summer.
Speaker 1: Fingertips don't have circulation. So like when I asked you
Speaker 1: for a double cup, it means too cops. Okay, it
Speaker 1: sounds a too but wasteful. Honestly, Yes, that was amazing,
Speaker 1: Seawan Edward. Give it up for Taylor Templeton Smith. Yes, Taylor,
Speaker 1: this in the evening, for the for the moment. So Taylor,
Speaker 1: what are we doing? Are we doing a preestlet topic
Speaker 1: or the tall are we sticking with it? I live
Speaker 1: by no rules but my own, so that we're doing
Speaker 1: my preest selected betrayal betrayal. I love it. I love it. No,
Speaker 1: he's the John Snow of this. I love it. And
Speaker 1: he's different, he's doing his own things. I love it.
Speaker 1: It's revolutionary. I'm on your team, Taylor your I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, Honey.
Speaker 1: Spider Man, it's time we take him down. Spider Man
Speaker 1: is a fraud. First of all, he let nine eleven happen.
Speaker 1: Let's just say that right here. Spider Man has spider senses.
Speaker 1: He knew it was coming. Also, I think it's funked up.
Speaker 1: They made nine movies and nine Spider Man Calm, and
Speaker 1: they never tell you if it feels good when the
Speaker 1: webs come out of it. I want to. I just
Speaker 1: want to know when Spider Man shoots this hot little
Speaker 1: boy ropes at the octopus doctor, if it's a warm,
Speaker 1: pleasant sensation for seconds, it's not sexual. I just want
Speaker 1: to know if he likes it it. Alright, I funk
Speaker 1: off of these mechanical web flingers. Any teenager can make
Speaker 1: a rope slimy, but only a Spider Man can produce white,
Speaker 1: hot honey puss from his wrists like second. Alright, when
Speaker 1: I see I want to see scenes of Spiderman being
Speaker 1: frustrated because he hasn't shot his webs in days. I
Speaker 1: feel good. I want to see him spray venom the
Speaker 1: man who turned into bad Spider Man because Goop from
Speaker 1: Space kissed his clothes go wrong, Fuck you, Spider Man,
Speaker 1: and son't he just showed me show me him enjoying it? Yes,
Speaker 1: but quake, I want to see. I want to see
Speaker 1: him shooting out and go oh oh fuck, fuck, oh
Speaker 1: fuck fuck. I of you. Oh no, I love you. No, Matt,
Speaker 1: I told you you. You have to stop saying I
Speaker 1: gotta stop saying I love you. Don't know when? Okay,
Speaker 1: giving up for Evie Samata. Yes, hey, gorgeous, I'm sucking angry.
Speaker 1: Why are you mad? Betrayal? And there was a prayer. Listen,
Speaker 1: Spider Man, listen, are we are we sticking with the packs?
Speaker 1: Are we doing the priest like that motherfucking hand and
Speaker 1: that mother I'm letting Matt do it because of the manicure. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is good, this is good, this is your I
Speaker 1: don't think so money trollball. Topic is fahrenheit as a
Speaker 1: measurement of temperature? Serve it to us, honey, and your
Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so Fahrenheit as a
Speaker 1: motherfucking measurement. Y'all are the only motherfucking people in the world.
Speaker 1: They use this stupid antiquated disk up. What do you
Speaker 1: You're like, Oh, it's so nice that when they visit Toronto,
Speaker 1: be like, we're from America. It's so nice. It was
Speaker 1: like eighty degrees was so nice. No one fucking knows
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. The world doesn't all revolve around you, bitch.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, fahrenheit as a method of
Speaker 1: telling the temperature. I'm sucking using yards as a measure.
Speaker 1: Don't fucking knows what your arbitrary measure meets me, bitch,
Speaker 1: go back to America because the world doesn't revolve around
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey fahrenheit as a measure of measurement.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to fucking google that. What
Speaker 1: a start. I don't think so, honey. Just follow what
Speaker 1: everyone else is because it's common sense. Listen, you're not
Speaker 1: I agree with you, but I don't. I still don't understand, Celsie, No,
Speaker 1: no clue. Yeah, I know, I gotta get the funk
Speaker 1: out of here. I promise I'm leaving tomorrow here, honeymoon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, we want to move here. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what the money is tough to I'd be giving big
Speaker 1: tips because I don't get coins, so I just give
Speaker 1: them all back and then get all turns out that's
Speaker 1: a lot of money, I guess, Sami, thank you eating,
Speaker 1: and now to close out the evening shanty Marastika, let's
Speaker 1: do it. Sean Tay Sean Tay Sean Say Sean Tay
Speaker 1: here we go. Already Sean calling in the bowl. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like I'm only nineteen, so I don't get a
Speaker 1: lot of references. Oh, we'll have to say. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: suck your blood despite the youth, despite the youth, I'm
Speaker 1: picking it out. Okay, come on, fingers, do this for me.
Speaker 1: All right, here we go, okay, okay, um is the
Speaker 1: rating system here like the m p A a rating
Speaker 1: system here, like, I'm not going to get that. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is, but I'm not gonna get.
Speaker 1: Let's pick something else. Let's pick something. It's gonna be
Speaker 1: a name if it's anything like. Ok all right, all right,
Speaker 1: this is big your I don't think so, honey. Trouble
Speaker 1: topic shanty is Rihanna and your time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Rihanna. What are your trader like
Speaker 1: Taylor Templeton Smith? No? I really like him. Listen, Oh, Rihanna,
Speaker 1: bet you got my money? Could you give me some?
Speaker 1: Doing a seventy two hour tour? I don't know how
Speaker 1: planes work. That's not a listen, Brianna. Oh you I
Speaker 1: really love her a lot. Go mean, Rihanna, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, You've got yourself and you look at
Speaker 1: your beautiful face. You're contoured, eyebrows look gross and your
Speaker 1: skin for you nineteen forever. I'm in love with you.
Speaker 1: Please Marrow, I don't think so, honey. Please give me
Speaker 1: your life. I miss you every day. You can't go
Speaker 1: negative on Rihanna. It's so hard. We literally wrote it
Speaker 1: and we were like, oh God, give it up for
Speaker 1: Keeper Sutherland, Chris Sandem, Yes, Shana Templeton Smith, Summer, Tom Morosica.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Thank you, guys.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you on behalf of Bow and myself.
Speaker 1: Thank you Dave for being thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: It's such it's so exciting to be This was so
Speaker 1: much fun, Toronto. We love you, guys. We cannot wait
Speaker 1: to come back. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys for coming out there. You just for laughs, thank
Speaker 1: you just for laughs. And I do think so, honey. Yes, honey,
Speaker 1: have a wonderful evening. Thank you guys very much, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I'm not Rogers forever. This has been
Speaker 1: a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe
Speaker 1: Cilio and Alex Ramsey for more original podcasts, Please visit
Speaker 1: Forever dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
Speaker 1: us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and
Speaker 1: liking our page on Facebook.