WEBVTT - Douchebag Energy 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.960 Hell I Suck at Dating with Dengler Jared Haven and 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:12.719 I heard radio podcast what is going On? Everyone? Welcome 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:16.919 to an all new episode of Help I Suck Get Dating, 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:21.760 starring the lovely Jared have been featuring yours truly Dean 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:24.599 unglard to What's going on? Jared? How are you? I 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:26.360 haven't even normally we have a little bit of banter 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:28.480 back and forth before the show starts. I didn't even 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:30.720 get the chance to say hi to you until now. No, 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:32.920 let's keep it all on the podcast, make it very real. 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:36.680 Things are good. We're in Rhode Island. What else? What 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:40.960 is new with us? Nothing? Much? Man? Uh, Rody Livin 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:44.800 is doing well. East Coast summers are the best. Things 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:47.879 are good. I can't complain. How about you? Oh my gosh, 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.680 I have so many things to update you on, Jared, 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:54.960 there's nothing to update me answer. I have so much 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:58.160 to say. How much time do we have? I think 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:00.840 We've only got about ten minutes. You know. Actually I 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:02.360 don't know if I've got enough time to even say 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:03.880 any of it, So maybe I'll just keep it to myself. 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:06.400 We've got a great episode for you guys. Uh, it's 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.320 it's and help Me understand this episode a little bit better, Jared. 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:12.720 So we've got fans calling in to speak with us yesterday. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:15.759 So on our Instagram help I suck at dating, which 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.200 you guys should totally follow if you don't already followed. 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:21.000 We posted on our inst story saying, hey, d on 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:23.920 us if you feel like your best friend BFF as 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:27.560 we call it is, is better than any therapist that 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:30.039 you've ever talked to when it comes to dating, And 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.080 then we're gonna have you on the podcast to talk 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:34.240 about this. So we have two fans coming on. We 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:37.200 have Sheina and then we have Alyssa, who are going 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:39.759 to come on and talk about how they're best friends 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.120 know them better than anybody in this world. For example, 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:46.319 Sheina replied to our instant storian said, my best friend 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:50.200 knows me way more than I know myself, and I 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:52.560 suck at dating. So Sheina sucks at dating and her 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:55.080 best friend knows her better than herself, and Alyssa goes, 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:58.760 my best friend knows in two seconds if a guy 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:01.400 looks like he will get a on with me, no idea. 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:04.280 How she is always right, showed her pick of a 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:07.440 tender date and she said he will be a dick 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:11.000 and ghost you after the date and guess what, he 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:13.520 was a dick and he ghost to her. How did 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:15.079 she do it? Nobody knows what. We're gonna talk to 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:17.359 Alyssa about it. So I'm super excited about this episode. 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:21.359 We also have Dr Elizabeth Lombardo coming on the podcast 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.320 in a little while. UM, so I'm excited. It's gonna 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:26.520 be a good podcast. Man. Of course, we have emails too, 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:30.640 your favorite part, my favorite part, all of our favorite parts, emails. 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:33.519 And as far as I understand that Dr Lombardo is 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:36.560 going to help us with the emails, Before we get 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:38.400 to that, I would just like to take a second 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:42.280 and recognize today as June tenth, it just became a 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:47.000 federal holiday passed into law. Jee of course, is the 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:50.360 celebration of the emancipation of slavery. So I just didn't 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:51.880 want to go an entire episode of that, at least 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:55.959 bringing that I agree, just acknowledging that. Um it's funny. Actually, 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:59.280 my my roommate and one of my best friends is 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:01.480 person and of Color, and I was like, Jackson, you 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:03.359 gotta He's actually been on this podcast before, like two 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:05.200 or three years ago. I was like, you gotta come 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.440 on the podcast and he's actually like the head of 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:11.560 diversity training for like a big marketing company, And I 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:13.480 was like, dude, this would be a great platform for 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.440 you to like come up and like just you know, 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.280 like the uncomfortable conversations with the black guy Emmanuel Acho. 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:20.720 I think it'd be a great opportunity. And obviously I 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:22.200 can just kind of talk to the producers behind the 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:24.080 scenes about this, but to bring him on and we 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:26.920 could kind of have a conversation with him about that 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:28.959 type of stuff. He was telling me there are these 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:32.760 women of color in Colorado, which is where we're both from, 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:37.160 and white women specifically, would hire them, bring them to 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:39.280 dinner with them, and then just ask them all of 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.520 the questions that they've always been like unsure of to 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:44.720 ask and maybe like a little hesitant to ask. Uh. 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:46.240 And it's just like I think, once you start having 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:48.960 those conversations, only good things can come from it. So 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:50.680 maybe one of these days we can have a conversation 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.200 like that with him, because he's a very smart man. Yeah, 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:56.119 I would love that. I I preach all the time 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.840 I think on comfortable conversations are a great thing to 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:00.920 have in this world, not a just about race, but 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:04.360 about sex and a lot of taboo subjects that people 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:06.960 are afraid to have conversations. But like you said, when 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:10.280 you're able to air it out, only good things coming 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:12.760 from it. Now, I also understand that it's very scary 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:15.080 to do those things, especially on a public platform. Like 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:17.800 I'm extremely nervous when I say things because I don't know. 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.640 Sometimes I'm just oblivious or ignorant. And I remember I 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:25.040 told this story during UM right after the George Floyd 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:29.040 murder UM last summer and the Black Lives Matter movie 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:33.160 was happening, and I wanted to post something, and I posted, UM, 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:37.560 I posted black lives matter, uh, something like something all 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:39.360 encompassing because I was like, okay, I want to say 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:42.120 black lives matter, all lives matter. And I said that 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:44.919 and people are like, oh, you can't say all lives matter? 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.000 And I was like, where does this come from? And 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:48.719 then obviously I looked more into it and learn more 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:50.919 about it. But it's like moments like that where you 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:54.719 have instances you're able to learn from, which is good. 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.839 So hopefully that continues. Any who, I would love to 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:00.880 have him on the podcast. I think that's a great. Yeah. Well, 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:03.239 I appreciate the I think the moral of your story 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:06.560 is you learned from the things that you didn't know 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:08.720 of first, right, Like you made a mistake maybe and 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:11.520 then you kind of redacted it, which I like, you 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:13.599 just learned from your mistakes. Isn't that the whole point 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.719 of life? Yeah? Exactly, if you do something wrong, learn 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:18.680 what you did wrong, and go about go about fixing it. 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:20.360 So yeah, maybe we can have that happened one day. 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:22.120 I don't know. Last time he was on the podcast, 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:23.520 like two or three years ago. Like I said, we 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.200 talked about sex thing. He's like, dude, I'd love to 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:26.960 come on your podcast, just don't make me talk about 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:29.080 sex thing. And I was like, Yeah, that's that's reasonable, 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:31.960 that's a reasonable. Texting is a fun conversation, but it's 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:34.000 a good segue into our first topic that we're going 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:37.119 to briefly touch on before Alyssa comes. Excuse me, Shena 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:39.039 is our first guest on She's gonna be on in 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:40.640 a second talking about her best friend. But I did 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:43.400 want to mention that there's a new show coming out 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:48.400 from our former Bachelor producer, Alan gail And who's a 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.760 great man who married Ashley and myself a close friend 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:53.839 and he is a producer in a brand new reality 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:56.159 dating show that is going to be on HBO Max 0:05:56.279 --> 0:06:01.039 called F Boy Island. And like the series concept was 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:04.120 created by Alan, who obviously was a producer on the show. 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:09.720 Now Uh he's he credits uh Love is Blind and 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:15.000 HBO Max's holiday theme dating show Twelve Dates of Christmas. Um. 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:17.240 And then he goes on to say Alan says this, 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:18.880 when I first got the call to be part of 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:21.520 a reality dating show called F Boy Island, I said 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:25.080 yes immediately. Then I realized they weren't asking me to 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.160 be one of the girls looking for love. Oh this 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:29.840 is I'm sorry, I'm mixing up my quotes all over 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:32.719 the place. This is Nicky Glazer. Okay, long story short, 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.479 F Boy Island is a brand new show that is 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.720 produced by a lan which I'm super excited about. It's 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:40.279 gonna be on HBO Max. It is hosted by Nicky Glazer. 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:43.039 Anything that Alan does, I'm a percent in because that 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:46.040 man is a genius and I'm super excited for the show. 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:49.279 I don't know exactly when it's gonna air, um, but 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:51.280 all I know is that i cannot wait for it. 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:53.200 All Right, on a scale of one to ten for 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:55.040 f Boy Island, Is it going to be more or 0:06:55.120 --> 0:07:01.080 less cheesy than? Uh? Definitely more but that okay, I'm 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:02.440 just gonna keep doing it. I'm just gonna say more. 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:03.800 I'm gonna keep naming a couple of I don't want 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.400 to go more less, more or less cheesy than Love 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:09.840 is Blind equal. I think it's very very Love is 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:12.840 Blind esque. Okay, because I I looked at obviously, we 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:14.680 don't really know anything about it at this point. I'm 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:16.320 excited to at least give it a try because I 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:18.000 love Alan. I think he is, like you said, he's 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:22.080 a genius. I'm excited to watch it. I the cover 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:24.400 art for the poster, I was like, this is the 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:28.840 cheesiest looking poster board I've ever seen in my entire life. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:30.120 It's like an island with a girl on it, and 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:32.880 like a million guys like swimming into it, poorly photoshopped 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:37.760 into it, based only off of a Lan Nikki and 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:40.440 Bill Dixon, who you know as well, who's awsome, incredibly 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:44.040 intelligent guy. I'm definitely gonna watch it, but I I 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:47.200 guess I'm keeping the bar. I'm keeping my expectations maintained 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.640 a little bit. Well, Alan's kind of, from my understanding, 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:55.880 the master behind mastermind behind Paradise. Uh, and I Paradise 0:07:55.960 --> 0:08:00.120 is my favorite show within the Bachelor franchise. And and 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.920 I think I just I love a line Alan's creativity. 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.440 I love that he's willing to take risk, and I 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:10.280 think when he was on Bachelor he was held in 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:13.320 check a little bit. Obviously, it's an ABC show. ABC 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.160 is owned by Disney. There's only so much provocative things 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:18.360 that you can do, and you can only toy with 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:20.920 the edge as far as you can go that ABC 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.520 will allow, rightfully, So of course ABC has to watch themselves. 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.960 But now that Alan is on HBO and producing this 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:31.960 reality show that's literally titled f Boy Island and airing 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:36.160 on HBO, which you know, hey, no holds bar on that, 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:38.719 I'm very excited to see how far he's going to 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.559 push the envelope. That's what I'm most excited about. I 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:43.640 agree with what you're saying. HBO will be a fun 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.120 platform for him because it's uh, you know, I think 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:48.360 HBO was the network that I saw my first booby 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:50.120 on when I was a kid. They don't really tend 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:51.880 to hold back when it comes to that kind of stuff, 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:55.600 So very pretty exciting in that respect. Do you remember 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.880 the show was on I think so there was a 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:02.760 show back in the day called like cat House something 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:05.880 and it was about uh, you know what I'm talking, Yes, 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:10.120 but also Eastern just message just and I agree with him. 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:12.760 You remember watching Real Sex as a kid? Oh? Yes, 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:16.240 Real Sex Taxi cab confessions. Sometimes you'd see it, and 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:19.320 then sometimes they would air I think it was on 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.880 HBO that they would air Howard Stern episodes and sometimes 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:24.280 you would catch a glimpse of a little bit of 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.040 nipple on there and listen. When you're a twelve year 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:27.920 old boy, this is like a kind of maybe like 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:29.560 right when the Internet was kind of catching on. So 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:31.560 and and you have a family computer instead of your 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:33.520 own personal laptop, so you have to be very careful 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.079 when you could be on your television at one in 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:38.720 the morning flip over to HBO and see like a 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.000 little something provocative. As a twelve year old boy, you're like, 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:45.120 this is awesome. So yeah, I think if anyone within 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:49.040 our like era has a very strong affinity for HBO 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.800 for that recent alone, in my opinion, um, so I'm 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:55.480 excited for Eble Island and now I'm gonna go back 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:59.000 and rewatch real sex. Um. So, Also, I just I 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:00.640 want to I want to say this before we move 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.800 on to having Sheena joined us. Calin just told me 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:07.199 that her grandmother listens to the this podcast, and after 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:09.720 saying that, I just feel a little uncomfortable. So, dear Joe, 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:13.080 if you're listening to this, Um, I'm sorry, Yes, Klin's grandmother. 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:16.319 I apologize as well. Uh. I hope we get to 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:18.679 meet in person one day and I can formally apologize 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:21.480 for everything I've said on this podcast. Uh. So, we 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:23.440 do have another topic that I want to get into 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:27.240 before Sina or Lisa Alyssa calls in, and that is 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.160 there was a New York Times article that said seven 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:32.560 ways to reset your relationship now. Experts say couples can 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:35.840 emerge from the pandemic stronger than ever by learning from 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.960 the past and looking towards the future. During this time, 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:41.240 couples may have been spending about as much time with 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:44.680 each other as would normally be stretched across a two 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.960 to three year period, said Bryce Tohone, who's a clinical 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:52.600 psychologist in Portland's, Oregon. And they've had to occupy multiple 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:56.240 roles that would have been previously filled by others like friends, 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.960 which is impossible. I will say I this the pandemics 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.400 kind of like well, I mean, the horrible nous of 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:05.480 the pandemic obviously aside, it's kind of like bachelor, right 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:08.160 because you're forced to live together, you're forced to you know, 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:11.360 be creative, and you're stuck in this one place for 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.440 an extended period of time. It's kind of like a 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:18.840 speed dating relationship. My sister in law moved back to 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:24.320 Virginia right before the pandemic started and had to move 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.120 in with her boyfriend and they were living together like 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:30.120 a month before the pandemic hit, and then boom, they 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.319 were stuck inside the house. And that was like, Okay, 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:34.200 we're gonna find out this relationship is going to make 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:35.800 her to break it through the pandemic. Thank god they 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:39.720 made it and now they're engaged. Yeah. I agree. It's 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:41.920 kind of a similar situation, not quite as extreme as 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:44.000 that though. For Kayla and I we were together I 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.880 think for probably seven eight months at the time, and 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.240 then yeah, you just go from you know, doing your 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:53.960 own thing to all of a sudden being with each other. Uh. 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:56.240 I want to what do you think. Do you think 0:11:56.240 --> 0:12:00.400 more couples succeeded or failed because of it? I if 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.600 I had to bet, I'd love to see numbers on this, 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:11.000 I would say more couples. I'd honestly, my gut reactions 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:18.760 says failed because I bet people looked at it and said, hey, um, 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:20.640 I only have so much time on this earth. I 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.640 think people are really rethinking their priorities throughout this pandemic, 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:25.640 and they're probably wanting to do the things that they've 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:28.480 always wanted to do, kind of like you, where you're like, hey, 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:30.160 I want to travel and I want to see this, 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.800 and you're very lucky to have someone like Kalin who 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.280 supports that and lets you do your own adventures. I 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.520 don't feel like everyone's like Kalin. So I'm curious if 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:39.640 people are like, hey, I need to do this, and 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:41.920 then other people were like hey, I need you here, 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:45.680 and that caused friction, and uh, I bet more relationships 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:50.440 broke up then stay together through the pandemic. I'll bet 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.480 you what though. I bet you if you in thirty 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:58.280 years time were to compare divorce statistics, I bet you 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:02.719 that there would be are decrease in divorces judging from 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:06.160 this eighteen month window that we've been in, because, like 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.839 you said, it kind of pressure cooks the relationship pre 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:11.240 marriage obviously, Like I don't really think any married couples 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:14.000 were getting divorced because of COVID. I'm sure obviously one 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:16.280 or two whatever, But I think I just wanted to 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:18.559 kind of think in the world it gives you, but 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.840 I'm saying way less than other relationships. I bet you 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:22.400 it get. It gets giving these couples a lot of 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.480 insight to whether they're gonna want to spend the rest 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:26.360 of their life with this person. And because of that, 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:28.920 I think it's going to reduce the divorce rates at 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:30.559 least for this little eighteen month window, if you know 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.600 what I'm saying. No, I that's an interesting theory. So 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:36.320 the New York Times article goes on says, now as 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:39.360 many couples have to plunge back into the hum of life, 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:43.480 it is a perfect opportunity for a relationship reset, to 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:47.120 learn from our time hunkering down together and look forward 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:49.640 to the future. So Number one, they say, there are 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:53.600 seven ways to reset your relationship. Number One, do a 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:57.960 relationship review. First, have a sit down together to assess 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.640 what worked about your relationship and what didn't during quarantine. 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.240 I think that's a good idea. Sure, why not. Shouldn't 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:05.880 you just do that all the time anyway, not just 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.320 about quarantine. Shouldn't you kind of sit down and be like, Hey, 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:10.240 this is what I'm thinking, this is what you're thinking, 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.719 be on the same page. No, maybe, yes, I mean 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:16.319 I think yeah. I think quarantine kind of gives you 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:18.280 an excuse to sit down and say and talk about 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:19.880 it though, which is nice. It's always going to have 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:23.920 a reason, you know. Fair point number two, voice your appreciation. 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:26.800 Perhaps over the past year you haven't felt like giving 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:30.360 compliments to your partner, but positive feedback is important. Do 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:35.440 you compliment Kalin a lot? I bet you do. I 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.480 compliment her more in the short term, and I think 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:40.200 it could probably do a better job of being like, hey, 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.760 just so let you know, I appreciate your existence more 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:44.400 so than just being like, hey, you look really nice today, 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:46.440 you know, kind of like more of a broader, more 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:51.960 all encompassing compliment, more in depth compliment, yeah, which probably 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:55.680 are more meaningful, uh A little know in fact about Dean, Dean, 0:14:55.880 --> 0:15:00.520 you are a great compliment tour if that makes you're 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.680 great at giving compliments well, as are you, thank you 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:05.840 very much. I'm also a really good compliment hee. I'm 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.800 really good at receiving compliments, which I get quite often. 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.920 If I don't, if I don't, you know, humble brag. No, 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:12.800 I'm just kidding, I'm actually bad at it. There was 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.480 actually a time, like a week ago. I can't remember 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.000 what it was, but Kylin and I hadn't really hung 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:18.560 out for a long time. Calin was like in Vegas 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:20.000 for a month and I was in Los Angeles for 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:21.880 a couple of weeks. She got back and I like 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:24.240 was kind of like hungover, so I was like pretty 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:26.120 stand offish, and then I left to go play golf 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:27.960 and I was like driving away and I texted her 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:29.400 and I was like, Hey, I just don't want you 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:31.600 to know I'm really sorry for being kind of quiet. 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:35.400 I really appreciate that you're back in Los Angeles and 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:37.920 you know, Los Angeles is a better city with you 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:39.880 here or something like that. Uh. And I was like, 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:42.760 as I was like, hopefully she takes that as a, 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:44.840 you know, a good thing. I don't know. It was 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:47.040 just one of those moments where I was like kind 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:51.680 of trying to be more you know, retroactively complimentary instead 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.960 of just being like, you look nice or whatever. But anyways, 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:56.160 I don't know where this story was. I think the 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.280 fact that you're bad at taking compliments is a good 0:15:58.280 --> 0:15:59.840 thing because that means you're humble. Now we're going to 0:15:59.880 --> 0:16:01.640 get it back to this article because we also have 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.280 five more to go that we want to talk to 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.560 you about. But we do have a very special guest 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:07.800 who was on the line with us right now. It 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:10.200 is the help I Suck, a dating fan that we 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:13.000 were talking about who said her best friend knows her 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:16.280 best way better than she knows herself, and including the 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:19.840 best friend apparently told her, hey, listen, this guy is 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.120 gonna be a dick and this guy's gonna ghost you. 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:24.440 And she knew all this just by looking at a 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:27.520 tender day. It is our friend, Alyssa, Alyssa, thank you 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.080 so much, Ali, Ali? Or a LISTA do you do? 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.320 Which one do you go by? I go by Ali? Well, Ali, 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:35.160 I'm Jared. It's so nice meeting you. Thank you for 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:40.000 doing this. Yeah, of course, h so, Ali, you told 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.320 us that your best friend knows you way better than 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:44.280 you know yourself, and apparently your best friend knew in 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.040 two seconds if a guy was going to work out 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:49.360 with you or not, including the story that I just 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:51.560 told where you showed your best friend a picture of 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:53.480 a tender date that you had and she was like, 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.400 black guy is gonna be a jerk and totally ghost 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.040 to And guess what, that guy was totally a jerk 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:58.720 and ghost to do. How the hell did she know that? 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:02.960 I wish I knew. She has done it more times, 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:05.760 honestly than I can count, and I don't know how 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:08.000 she knows. I literally I will send her a picture 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:10.320 and she's like, nope, red flags. I'm like, well, it's 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:12.560 like a picture of him smiling, Like how are you? 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.800 How are you getting that? I will never understand. I 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:18.159 think we might need to have your friend on this 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.760 podcast to kind of dive into the reason and logic 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:24.800 behind it. I think, so we have all these dating 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:27.480 experts on, but truly your best friend is the dating 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:29.159 expert because she can just see a picture of a 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:30.800 person be like, no, it's not going to work out, 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.720 or it could be the love of your life. What 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:36.320 do you think it is? Do you think that she's 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:38.480 able to read the men really well or do you 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.359 think it's just that she knows you really well. I 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:42.120 think she just knows me, and I think she knows 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.560 when I'm going beneath me, and she's just like, you 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:48.879 can come on. And I think, you know, sometimes your 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:51.360 friends just know if you're taking it too easy on yourself, 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.119 and it's like, just push yourself out there, like stop 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.520 sticking with the same person that you know it's not 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:57.760 gonna work. How long have you guys been best friends 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:02.879 for since fifth grade? Oh? Wow, long times? So she 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:06.480 definitely doesn't know you very very well. Oh yeah, what's 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:08.560 she doing it back in middle school and everything to like, 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:09.960 you would have a crush on a on a boy 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:11.480 in middle school or something, and she would kind of 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:13.000 talk you out of it. I think the best thing 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:16.479 about us is that we have complete opposite taste, so 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:20.120 we've never had an issue of like the same guy. 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:23.240 It's always been complete opposites. And I think that's why 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:24.920 we get along so well and why we can tell 0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:29.040 each other everything because there's no conflicting interests ever. But yeah, 0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.720 in middle school, we were you know, we would talk 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:34.639 about guys all the time. I mean that recess, you know, 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:36.760 every day, It's what girls do in middle school. And 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.879 I don't know. That's how we bonded. So, Ali, you 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.479 also said that you suck at dating. Now, granted, my 0:18:43.520 --> 0:18:45.720 whole theory is that we all suck at dating no 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:49.639 other whether we're married single in a relationship doesn't matter, 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:52.240 because I can tell you I'm married, and I promise 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:54.639 you my wife would say I suck at dating. So Ali, 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:57.399