Speaker 1: We have Evan Mark Katz, a dating coach, dating advisor,
Speaker 1: dating expert to help you find the love of your life.
Speaker 1: And he also has a gift for you guys at
Speaker 1: the end, so you can get some of his information
Speaker 1: very easily solution based dating information.
Speaker 2: Evan welcometh any, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1: So Loreel has this whole tag like I'm worth it.
Speaker 1: And the thing is, I have said that to someone
Speaker 1: like you could say if you're the CEO and they're
Speaker 1: in terns applying, you could be like, listen, you're going
Speaker 1: to be very successful here and you're going to get
Speaker 1: You're gonna get out exactly what you put in, and
Speaker 1: I'm worth it, Like this is the job you should
Speaker 1: take if you want it, but you need to be
Speaker 1: able to meet me halfway. I have found that men
Speaker 1: they're looking for that job, but they also would get
Speaker 1: take the internship too, Like that's what That's kind of
Speaker 1: what I was saying about the steak and the chicken.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I meaning. I've met guys that like,
Speaker 1: in their mind they've written the list they want to
Speaker 1: meet the woman, they know what they want, but they're
Speaker 1: used to their habits so in the moment they're going
Speaker 1: to take they're going to go for the intern job.
Speaker 1: But partly you're like, no, no, no, your intention you said
Speaker 1: your intention was this, And then both people have to
Speaker 1: check in and like do the work. And you got
Speaker 1: to find the person that wants to do the work.
Speaker 1: Like both people have to even use language like that.
Speaker 1: I think, like, do you want.
Speaker 3: To do the work?
Speaker 4: I because you've dazzled me with your knowledge today, I
Speaker 4: want to I want to respectfully push back on you. Okay,
Speaker 4: we always talk so much, and again it's it's it's
Speaker 4: part of the cultural zeitgeist. Relationships take work. You got
Speaker 4: to do the work. I come from a different place
Speaker 4: because I've had relationships that required a lot of work.
Speaker 4: They all ended they required so much work, they were
Speaker 4: so draining. I want to work almost from a different
Speaker 4: paradigm and say, good relationships are fundamentally easy.
Speaker 3: Right, but they take some effort because you.
Speaker 4: Dynamic keyword, you nail that you're so good at this,
Speaker 4: they take effort, Like watering the garden takes effort, right.
Speaker 1: Right, It's not obligation, it's desire, but it's an effort
Speaker 1: because yeah.
Speaker 4: But everybody's been in a relationship that was one.
Speaker 3: No, totally, totally facts another and.
Speaker 4: They try so hard because they don't want to admit
Speaker 4: this isn't working. That they work and work and work
Speaker 4: and spend decades working on their relationship where I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm I gotta be sure. If fifty percent of your
Speaker 4: time you're fighting, there has to be an easier relationship.
Speaker 4: Let's find a relationship where like ninety ninety five percent
Speaker 4: of the time smooth sailing. And then we just got
Speaker 4: to iron out the differences. And that's just human beings connecting.
Speaker 1: Yes, because I said, I said the other day, if
Speaker 1: you don't know yes, it's no. I really believe that
Speaker 1: if you don't know yes, it's no, you can't be like,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, I think, but that's where the work
Speaker 1: comes in.
Speaker 3: I kind of agree with you.
Speaker 4: I believe something differently because I didn't know with my wife,
Speaker 4: and just the fact that I exist means that there
Speaker 4: has to be some counter argument to oh my god,
Speaker 4: you just know every time I just knew she dumped me.
Speaker 4: When you're making the biggest decision of your life, it
Speaker 4: would be normal to have questions like literally I got engaged,
Speaker 4: were using my father the ring my father gave to
Speaker 4: my mother in nineteen sixty eight. I said, Mom, bring
Speaker 4: the ring out to pass over. We're going to go
Speaker 4: to my sister's place in San Francisco. I might propose
Speaker 4: this weekend. I don't know. But I was thirty four,
Speaker 4: she was thirty seven. We both wanted kids. We were
Speaker 4: on an accelerated timeline. I didn't know she was indispensable
Speaker 4: to me. I didn't figure out she was indispensable to
Speaker 4: me until after we were married. I took an educated
Speaker 4: guest and a leap of faith. That turned out to
Speaker 4: be the best decision I ever made.
Speaker 2: But I would specially if you have if you have
Speaker 2: a bad track record in love, it's really hard to
Speaker 2: know anything when nothing's ever worked out before. I agree
Speaker 2: with that too, But I'm not saying just no feeling,
Speaker 2: just no feeling is great, like I'm all for it.
Speaker 4: I just don't think everybody learns well.
Speaker 1: I know, but I have to put the difference on
Speaker 1: that because for me, also with the way that I
Speaker 1: was raised and the the na seeing good role models
Speaker 1: for relationships, I guess there's always some leap of faith.
Speaker 1: You don't, you can't, you're not You're not a soothsayer.
Speaker 1: But I would need to know yes to do it.
Speaker 1: I would need to know yes to do.
Speaker 4: It, what I knew about my wife, what my wife
Speaker 4: knew about me. To individualize this, you can't make this
Speaker 4: for everybody. Is it was easy? That was huge. We
Speaker 4: really didn't fight, right. We naturally shared the same values. Right.
Speaker 4: We come from middle class backgrounds.
Speaker 3: We make fundamental the fundamentals.
Speaker 4: The unsexy stuff, character, kindness, consistency, communication, commitment check check check.
Speaker 4: So on paper, is she the most impressive person I've
Speaker 4: ever dated?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: The last guy she did it before me was six seven.
Speaker 4: I can't compete with that on five ' nine. The
Speaker 4: truth he was in some grad school to be computer
Speaker 4: scientists or something. I'm just a guy who talks about
Speaker 4: women before a living. So the idea that you're dating
Speaker 4: the person who's the best in every category, No, you're
Speaker 4: dating the person who when you're with them, you can
Speaker 4: let down your guard, you can be yourself. You can
Speaker 4: take a twelve hour car ride without a radio and
Speaker 4: not get bored, and you can make a hundred little
Speaker 4: decisions together without wanting to kill each other. And that
Speaker 4: doesn't show up in a bumble profile. And that doesn't
Speaker 4: show up on a first date. And that's the hard part.
Speaker 4: We need to give it enough time to breathe, to
Speaker 4: go through a few seasons together to see, oh wow,
Speaker 4: it's still going really smoothly. This is confusing.
Speaker 1: You're one hundred percent right, one hundred percent right.
Speaker 4: So we get engaged at the peak of the roller
Speaker 4: coaster and then we discover it's a mistake. It's really
Speaker 4: a smoother ride. And I'm sure you've had your experiences.
Speaker 1: No, I completely agree with you. It's a compatibility aspect,
Speaker 1: the energy match, and you're right. Is it just it
Speaker 1: should feel in that way? It should feel easy. What
Speaker 1: about comparisons? What about people coming in and wanting to
Speaker 1: take the oli carte menu even they were with the
Speaker 1: last relationship and yes, the guy was a little crazy,
Speaker 1: but he was exciting and he bought me presents, or
Speaker 1: he wanted to go on vacations or he did that.
Speaker 1: Like what about the comparing that people do where they
Speaker 1: want to kind of take something from that and if
Speaker 1: this person who does make them feel good but doesn't
Speaker 1: have that one thing, So how do you deal with
Speaker 1: these women? Because women are nitpicky, women are pain pains
Speaker 1: and the asses and women are constantly finding the ant
Speaker 1: at the picnic. So what about these ants at the
Speaker 1: picnics and these comparisons.
Speaker 4: I have the final thing in my signature course Love You,
Speaker 4: is an exercise called the husband Picker. It's like, it's
Speaker 4: like a fifteen minute exercise. I'm not going to go
Speaker 4: through the whole thing with you, but it touches on
Speaker 4: the exact same thing you're talking about. If I just said, hey,
Speaker 4: most important thing you need to get character, kindness, consistency, communication, commitment,
Speaker 4: because if you're missing one of them, you're screwed. Doesn't
Speaker 4: matter how gorgeous or hot, or rich or smart he is.
Speaker 3: It's character, kindness.
Speaker 4: Consistency, communication, commitment. Maybe add connection because I think that's
Speaker 4: really important too, So we could call it the five
Speaker 4: SE's the six seeds. One of them is a K.
Speaker 4: We don't have to be too precise about it. But
Speaker 4: the idea is these are the baseline things. And if
Speaker 4: I ask you or most of your women listeners, what's
Speaker 4: the reason that you didn't work out with Brad dan John,
Speaker 4: it's going to be one of those six things. It's
Speaker 4: not going to be I wish he was five eleven,
Speaker 4: but he's really five to ten, right, it's not going
Speaker 4: to be I wanted to make, you know, two hundred
Speaker 4: and fifty thousand dollars, but he'd made one hundred.
Speaker 3: What was the last one? Commitment and then what character?
Speaker 4: Kindness, consistency, communication, commitment, and connection is probably a sixth
Speaker 4: one because you could have the nicest guy in the world,
Speaker 4: but if you don't feel a connection with him, it
Speaker 4: doesn't really matter.
Speaker 1: Where would you put Like the energy match that so
Speaker 1: many people talk about and the dimming of the light,
Speaker 1: like someone you're alive. They love the aliveness, they're attracted
Speaker 1: to it, but like your light is being dimmed. I
Speaker 1: hear this a lot with men and women where they
Speaker 1: feel like they're losing themselves. Someone's dimming their light. Someone's
Speaker 1: like they have to like dumb it down for the
Speaker 1: other person or downplay it.
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 4: That's part of a feeling that you should know. A
Speaker 4: good relationship elevates you, even if they're not more impressive
Speaker 4: than you. They become sort of the wind beneath your wings.
Speaker 4: Pretty Much every like superstar person has the behind the
Speaker 4: scenes person who allows them to be the superstar person,
Speaker 4: right Like not every famous athlete, politician has another famous
Speaker 4: person with them who's out there killing it in a
Speaker 4: big way. Right, So if you're Ruth Vader Ginsburg, your
Speaker 4: husband is not a Supreme Court justice. He's probably just
Speaker 4: a regular lawyer or something like that. So I think
Speaker 4: we just have to recognize that you're right. If that
Speaker 4: relationship is draining, it's not additive. There's no point to
Speaker 4: the relationship. It's dead weight.
Speaker 1: Yes, even if you really love the person and they
Speaker 1: make you feel good sometimes and you entertain. But if
Speaker 1: you feel drained and you feel like there's a rub
Speaker 1: and the drain, that's okay.
Speaker 3: It's the fundamental that's right.
Speaker 4: And that also a thing you can't see on paper
Speaker 4: or something you could only experience because a lot of
Speaker 4: people and a lot of people audition. Well, you could
Speaker 4: have a few good mess and then the mask comes
Speaker 4: off and you're like, oh, this is the real you,
Speaker 4: not the first few months. This is the real you.
Speaker 4: And so a big part of my work is encouraging
Speaker 4: women to listen to their own feelings.
Speaker 1: So let's talk about sex and not when you should
Speaker 1: have it and the boring things we've all heard about before,
Speaker 1: but like how much it means when it's working, when
Speaker 1: it's not working, can you work on certain things? You're
Speaker 1: a little conservative, the other person is a little kinky.
Speaker 1: It's weird to talk about bed sex, but you can't
Speaker 1: because you can't talk about when you're in bed. But
Speaker 1: then one person may not know exactly what they're doing.
Speaker 1: But can that be corrected? Everyone doesn't walk like there's
Speaker 1: a man breck that I know that says people, well,
Speaker 1: don't come with batteries included, Like, so, where do you
Speaker 1: stand on all of these sexual dynamics?
Speaker 4: Yeah, And everybody has their own and this is about
Speaker 4: dating and relationships. Everybody has their own rule book that
Speaker 4: they carry in their head that they think this is
Speaker 4: the way everybody supposed to do things the way I
Speaker 4: like it. Everybody has that rule book. I think women
Speaker 4: even have even more of a rule book than men
Speaker 4: about what men are supposed to do. Where men are like, well,
Speaker 4: she seems pretty and nice and all to see where
Speaker 4: this thing goes? So I think it's it's it becomes
Speaker 4: really challenging, especially if you're lacking a spark. So I
Speaker 4: would never tell anybody to be in a relationship without
Speaker 4: a spark. We mark that as like a six out
Speaker 4: of ten in chemistry, it's like a made up number.
Speaker 4: But if if you don't have to talk yourself into
Speaker 4: a date, in other words, you don't have to talk yourself.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be a ten at it doesn't.
Speaker 4: Have to be a ten because a six could grow
Speaker 4: to a nine with great sex, right, But you can't
Speaker 4: take up two and turn it into anything. And a
Speaker 4: lot of women try to yes, because hey, I was
Speaker 4: told them too picky. I'm told they should give this
Speaker 4: guy a shot. Nope, you don't don't have to talk
Speaker 4: yourself in ever. Sexual incompatibility is a thing that could
Speaker 4: be worked on to a point, which makes it almost
Speaker 4: like any other compatibility, right, like introversion and extraversion. How
Speaker 4: we spend money, how we parent the kids, like.
Speaker 3: Even cadence, how much?
Speaker 1: How how what time after dinner you're drinking? You're not
Speaker 1: Men can't perform necessarily the same favorite like with all
Speaker 1: that stuff, And so when when is that discussed over
Speaker 1: the car ride?
Speaker 3: It's not discussed in bed.
Speaker 4: So no, it's it's one of those things where most
Speaker 4: of the stuff we're talking about now again I think
Speaker 4: it's really interesting and important, it's none of it's really
Speaker 4: first date to come out.
Speaker 3: No no, no, no no. But you you only coach
Speaker 3: for like first dates or once they're in it.
Speaker 4: No, no, I coach women say through relationships. I start
Speaker 4: from zero to relationships. So it's a soup to nuts
Speaker 4: type concier service. But when someone's dating someone and they're
Speaker 4: unsure about the quality of their sex life, that becomes
Speaker 4: just another metric that is potentially negotiable, that could become
Speaker 4: a deal breaker if they can't get it together and
Speaker 4: find a compromise. Point. There's an old Annie hall Woody
Speaker 4: Allen and Diane Keaton are having it out. They're talking
Speaker 4: to their respective therapists and he's like, I feel like
Speaker 4: we never have sex. It's like only like three times
Speaker 4: a week. And she's like, this guy wants sex all
Speaker 4: the time. It's three times a week, right, So as
Speaker 4: long as both people could live it's a Van diagram.
Speaker 4: As long as both people could live with the compromise,
Speaker 4: it could work.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: But so that's to your point the beginning. You're dating, now,
Speaker 1: how do you deal with sex? You're off to the races,
Speaker 1: you're attracted to each other, but the sex is a
Speaker 1: little clunky, Like, how are you talking about sex with
Speaker 1: someone you just start dating.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about that.
Speaker 4: I think it's always in a positive affirming way, right.
Speaker 4: I love when you do this. I really like our connection.
Speaker 4: You know what would really make me happy? You know
Speaker 4: what really really turns me on? I love it when
Speaker 4: you How could I and reverse it? If you're dissatisfied?
Speaker 4: You say is there anything I could do to please
Speaker 4: you better? So it puts the focus on him and
Speaker 4: he might say, yeah, no, I really actually liked a
Speaker 4: little bit of oral before it gets started. So you
Speaker 4: flip it on him, and then he's going to turn
Speaker 4: around and ask you the same question. Well, I'm so
Speaker 4: glad you asked. In fact, here's something I really liked.
Speaker 4: It might not be something you normally do, but maybe
Speaker 4: next time we could experiment with that.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: I think people have their comfort zones, and if someone
Speaker 4: is again for your term, very you know, very kinky
Speaker 4: or very vanilla, that could be a deal breaker that
Speaker 4: you don't see until you've actually gone a couple of
Speaker 4: rounds as a couple where they just there's no way
Speaker 4: unless you're advertising this, you couldn't have figured it out.
Speaker 4: But as I said, that makes sense. No different from
Speaker 4: money communication there's all sorts of things that you can't
Speaker 4: really navigate until you're a couple.
Speaker 1: I think things that are like not gimmicks, but like
Speaker 1: sort of not like games, like the love languages or
Speaker 1: it's not it's not a gimmick, but things that can
Speaker 1: be defined, like if you're talking to someone. I once
Speaker 1: had a conversation with someone about like what's most important
Speaker 1: to them?
Speaker 3: Meaning for me, it's safety.
Speaker 1: For you, it might be being wanted for someone else,
Speaker 1: that might be being loved someone else.
Speaker 3: It's physical touch.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a cousin to love language is like
Speaker 1: what is the thing you know?
Speaker 3: And I think that stuff once someone hears.
Speaker 1: It, you can like you really it is like a
Speaker 1: it's like a prescription. And what the most what are
Speaker 1: you finding that most women are wanting in that way?
Speaker 1: Not not meaning like presents and meals, I mean like
Speaker 1: from as a fundamental said, and what are you finding
Speaker 1: men want, women want to feel safe?
Speaker 4: No, I love this. You can literally go to my
Speaker 4: website right now. I'm not telling everybody that they should.
Speaker 3: They should.
Speaker 4: Women are looking for a relationship in general, they'll say
Speaker 4: I want a no argument, tall, dark hands and successful, rich,
Speaker 4: charismatic funny, what do they need? Safe her and understood?
Speaker 3: Okay, safe, Because if you're.
Speaker 4: Not safe, heard and understood, you're always going to feel
Speaker 4: like your relationship is lacking. It's always going to feel
Speaker 4: like it's on shaky ground, no matter how great the
Speaker 4: sexual connection, the intellectual stimulation. Think about relationships you've had,
Speaker 4: especially if you're anxious attachment style. You've chosen men for
Speaker 4: whatever reason who didn't make you feel safeer for it
Speaker 4: and understood, and turned out you weren't safeer it and
Speaker 4: understood in those relationships.
Speaker 3: And what are the men looking for?
Speaker 4: Accepted, appreciated, and admired, and it's something they don't get anywhere.
Speaker 4: You heard me. I said the number one thing that
Speaker 4: I was lacking, and it took me three hundred dates
Speaker 4: to realize it was I went out with really bright women.
Speaker 4: I went out with really sexy women. I went out
Speaker 4: with really cultured women who can teach me things. I'm
Speaker 4: turned on by all those things. I could not find
Speaker 4: one person who didn't try to change.
Speaker 3: Me accept it.
Speaker 4: So the fact that I had I've had one person
Speaker 4: who just accepted me as I was and saw me
Speaker 4: as the best version of myself, wouldn't you like to
Speaker 4: be seen as the best version of yourself by your partner.
Speaker 1: Well that's funny because when I was on stage with
Speaker 1: Alex Cooper and she as, I said, someone, you're not
Speaker 1: dumbing it down. I said, you need someone needs to
Speaker 1: accept you for exactly who you are. I literally just
Speaker 1: said that someone accept you.
Speaker 4: I know. So I said, I think I think you
Speaker 4: might be a salon.
Speaker 1: I don't know about that, but okay, so then that
Speaker 1: that's good. Those are two different things for women and
Speaker 1: for men, So that's something that's a good.
Speaker 4: But there is an overlap. Right, So we could say
Speaker 4: women need to feel safe and understood and then need
Speaker 4: to be accepted, appreciated, admired, But that turns sex into
Speaker 4: this sort of false binary because wanted. Yeah, women might
Speaker 4: need safety more than men need safety, and men might
Speaker 4: need appreciation more. Right, But any little thing a guy
Speaker 4: does we talk about go back to love languages. Guys
Speaker 4: you know, uh are not gonna might not say I
Speaker 4: love you as much. I'm a words guy, but other guys,
Speaker 4: he shows you he loves you by taking out the
Speaker 4: heavy grocery bag and by picking up your kids from
Speaker 4: school on his way home from work and it's a
Speaker 4: lot of the actions rather than the words. If you're
Speaker 4: a woman who needs the words, you'll often struggle with
Speaker 4: his expression of love.
Speaker 1: Right because you also have to always look at where
Speaker 1: someone comes from, what's their background. Will I had a
Speaker 1: conversation with someone where I said to them, you are
Speaker 1: a breeder dog. I am a rescue I came from
Speaker 1: a completely different environment than you came from. And so
Speaker 1: the same thing that would not even phase you would
Speaker 1: make me want to bite you or me run back
Speaker 1: into the cage, like a score or squirrel that runs
Speaker 1: up the tree. We are different creatures. And like, I
Speaker 1: don't think even though people might know that, I think
Speaker 1: that stuff needs to be laid out because it's a
Speaker 1: different concept. Like if you're really thinking about somebody who
Speaker 1: just has had parents have been together for fifty years
Speaker 1: and like has only seen positivity, and you have another
Speaker 1: person who's seen like complete abuse and drugs and like
Speaker 1: sexual assault, it's going to be different.
Speaker 4: Have you seen this, I mean it seems sort of timely.
Speaker 4: Have you seen this Netflix show? Nobody wants this yet? No,
Speaker 4: it's Adam Brodie, Kristen Bell, He's a and then she rabbi.
Speaker 4: She's a little bit of a hot mess who does
Speaker 4: a podcast about her love life. And you know, this
Speaker 4: guy is doing like everything right and that not to
Speaker 4: give anything away, the sort of tipping point in the
Speaker 4: story is she keeps on finding reasons to push him away.
Speaker 4: He's so nice, he's so functional, he's so dorky. How
Speaker 4: do we get rid of this guy who's done nothing
Speaker 4: but be consistent? And he just holds her and says, hey,
Speaker 4: I can handle you, right. Interesting, that's the moment, and
Speaker 4: again I thought it was it was a very good
Speaker 4: modern look at dating. I get I get no points
Speaker 4: for for I'm just I'm just I'm sharing because it's
Speaker 4: a it's a cute, cute, bingeable sittime about this.
Speaker 1: So what are you finding that men and women respectively
Speaker 1: are doing wrong in dying? The biggest things that are
Speaker 1: so common and so easy to correct. You know, I've
Speaker 1: heard the girls say that the men really want the
Speaker 1: women to make an effort, and they seem like they care,
Speaker 1: they took time for the day, and often that also
Speaker 1: that like alcohol is a problem. They don't eat there,
Speaker 1: they get drunk, they share too much. Like, what are
Speaker 1: you finding?
Speaker 4: I think the biggest problem that men and women have
Speaker 4: in dating is it has almost little to do with
Speaker 4: men and women, and it has everything to do with where
Speaker 4: we are as a society right now. It's dating apps,
Speaker 4: it's swiping, it's texting, it's the infinite number of choices,
Speaker 4: it's the deep personalization of things. It's the lack of
Speaker 4: solving problems like this by conversation by phone. Everybody's over subscribed,
Speaker 4: too much noise out there, there's always something else pinging
Speaker 4: on your phone, and so I just think we're at
Speaker 4: a point in society where everybody and then everybody gets
Speaker 4: burnt out. So men are burnt down on this, women
Speaker 4: are burnt down on this. Everybody hates this, and they
Speaker 4: keep doing it the same way. So to me, the solution,
Speaker 4: and again the gift I want to give to your
Speaker 4: readers before we go, is how do we say, in
Speaker 4: this moment, how do we push back against the excesses
Speaker 4: of this and turned dating into something that's a lot
Speaker 4: more fun and personal and something that probably resembles the
Speaker 4: way maybe you and I, if we're similar ages dated
Speaker 4: back before it was all phone based dating. Okay, how
Speaker 4: do we make better connections with people instead of treating
Speaker 4: everybody as disposable on an app, and I think that
Speaker 4: there's something to that.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's customized shopping where you get to get
Speaker 1: exactly what you want, and it's fishing and you only
Speaker 1: have to find one. So it can be a little
Speaker 1: like you get full and you're at the buffet. But
Speaker 1: I think, yes, there's a lot of wasting time and
Speaker 1: doing what you're saying. But I think going out, going
Speaker 1: to the restaurant, going to the bar, looking around, talking
Speaker 1: to someone who might be married, I think that was
Speaker 1: for fucking time consuming too.
Speaker 3: Like it. I think it's more efficient.
Speaker 4: I didn't say get away from the area.
Speaker 3: I know you didn't say it.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I think buy and large in the aggregate,
Speaker 1: it's not that different. I don't I'm pushing back on
Speaker 1: you this time.
Speaker 4: What's different. Here's the big difference, and we will close
Speaker 4: and continue. The big difference is I go to a bar,
Speaker 4: I see you across the bar. I find you're attractive.
Speaker 4: After I do my lap. Got to do the lap? Yeah, right,
Speaker 4: I get the courage to come up to you, right,
Speaker 4: make a little small talk. Hey, step outside, grab a drink,
Speaker 4: get your number. I got that was my that's my night.
Speaker 4: I got your number. I'm excited about that. That's my
Speaker 4: singular focus. I can come home from a bad day
Speaker 4: at work, put my feet up on the table, turn
Speaker 4: on the TV, eat some crappy dinner, and get fifty
Speaker 4: phone numbers. So the volume, the competition makes it such
Speaker 4: that normal people who might have connections have way too
Speaker 4: many options to focus.
Speaker 3: Well, that's absolutely true. Okay, So that's absolutely true. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I get it. I get it.
Speaker 4: So the apps are great for creating opportunity where we
Speaker 4: would not meet people. Yes, Hinge just reduced the number
Speaker 4: of conversations you could have to ten. Not a step
Speaker 4: in the right direction. They're trying to just say, hey,
Speaker 4: let's have a little focus here, let's treat people more
Speaker 4: like humans. Yeah, use the technology to meet people outside
Speaker 4: of your world. Yes, And how do we make a
Speaker 4: better connection before we go on a blind date with
Speaker 4: the stranger? How do we just humanize this a little
Speaker 4: bit by slowing down. That's to me, it's old school
Speaker 4: values for modern day dating.
Speaker 3: Okay, I like it. Okay, So what's the solution and
Speaker 3: what's the gift to the listeners?
Speaker 4: I'm so glad you asked. I just created it, and
Speaker 4: I just created because I knew I was going to
Speaker 4: be on today. So it's a it's a mini course,
Speaker 4: right basically seven videos, seven like six minute videos. You
Speaker 4: could breeze through one a day.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: It's called Raise your Relationship Standards seven Steps to finding
Speaker 4: a quality commitment, orient and man.
Speaker 3: Love it. I'm excited.
Speaker 4: I made it specifically for you. So if you go
Speaker 4: to Vanmarkatz dot com forward slash just be it takes
Speaker 4: you that page.
Speaker 1: Amazing, amazing conversation, really really good and different.
Speaker 3: So I'm excited.
Speaker 4: Yeah you were, you were amazing.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I appreciate it. It's a good topic. It's
Speaker 3: a great women want to know, men want to know.
Speaker 3: I like it. I think it's dynamics.
Speaker 1: So next time we'll talk about more of like the
Speaker 1: brass hacks are just like walking into a bar and
Speaker 1: things like that. But I think this stuff is the
Speaker 1: stuff people have a harder time with than like go
Speaker 1: to a steakhouse and meet men.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 4: I agree entirely.
Speaker 3: Okay, great, awesome, have a great day.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.