1 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 1: We have Evan Mark Katz, a dating coach, dating advisor, 2 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: dating expert to help you find the love of your life. 3 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: And he also has a gift for you guys at 4 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: the end, so you can get some of his information 5 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: very easily solution based dating information. 6 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,279 Speaker 2: Evan welcometh any, thank you so much for having me. 7 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 1: So Loreel has this whole tag like I'm worth it. 8 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: And the thing is, I have said that to someone 9 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: like you could say if you're the CEO and they're 10 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: in terns applying, you could be like, listen, you're going 11 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: to be very successful here and you're going to get 12 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: You're gonna get out exactly what you put in, and 13 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,880 Speaker 1: I'm worth it, Like this is the job you should 14 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: take if you want it, but you need to be 15 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: able to meet me halfway. I have found that men 16 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: they're looking for that job, but they also would get 17 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: take the internship too, Like that's what That's kind of 18 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 1: what I was saying about the steak and the chicken. 19 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: That's exactly what I meaning. I've met guys that like, 20 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 1: in their mind they've written the list they want to 21 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: meet the woman, they know what they want, but they're 22 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 1: used to their habits so in the moment they're going 23 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: to take they're going to go for the intern job. 24 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,320 Speaker 1: But partly you're like, no, no, no, your intention you said 25 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: your intention was this, And then both people have to 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: check in and like do the work. And you got 27 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: to find the person that wants to do the work. 28 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: Like both people have to even use language like that. 29 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: I think, like, do you want. 30 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 3: To do the work? 31 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 4: I because you've dazzled me with your knowledge today, I 32 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 4: want to I want to respectfully push back on you. Okay, 33 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 4: we always talk so much, and again it's it's it's 34 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,960 Speaker 4: part of the cultural zeitgeist. Relationships take work. You got 35 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 4: to do the work. I come from a different place 36 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 4: because I've had relationships that required a lot of work. 37 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 4: They all ended they required so much work, they were 38 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 4: so draining. I want to work almost from a different 39 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 4: paradigm and say, good relationships are fundamentally easy. 40 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 3: Right, but they take some effort because you. 41 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 4: Dynamic keyword, you nail that you're so good at this, 42 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 4: they take effort, Like watering the garden takes effort, right. 43 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 1: Right, It's not obligation, it's desire, but it's an effort 44 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: because yeah. 45 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,239 Speaker 4: But everybody's been in a relationship that was one. 46 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 3: No, totally, totally facts another and. 47 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 4: They try so hard because they don't want to admit 48 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 4: this isn't working. That they work and work and work 49 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,920 Speaker 4: and spend decades working on their relationship where I'm like, 50 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 4: I'm I gotta be sure. If fifty percent of your 51 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,639 Speaker 4: time you're fighting, there has to be an easier relationship. 52 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 4: Let's find a relationship where like ninety ninety five percent 53 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 4: of the time smooth sailing. And then we just got 54 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 4: to iron out the differences. And that's just human beings connecting. 55 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: Yes, because I said, I said the other day, if 56 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: you don't know yes, it's no. I really believe that 57 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: if you don't know yes, it's no, you can't be like, 58 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: I'm not sure, I think, but that's where the work 59 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: comes in. 60 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 3: I kind of agree with you. 61 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 4: I believe something differently because I didn't know with my wife, 62 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 4: and just the fact that I exist means that there 63 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 4: has to be some counter argument to oh my god, 64 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 4: you just know every time I just knew she dumped me. 65 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 4: When you're making the biggest decision of your life, it 66 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 4: would be normal to have questions like literally I got engaged, 67 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 4: were using my father the ring my father gave to 68 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,959 Speaker 4: my mother in nineteen sixty eight. I said, Mom, bring 69 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,919 Speaker 4: the ring out to pass over. We're going to go 70 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 4: to my sister's place in San Francisco. I might propose 71 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:26,959 Speaker 4: this weekend. I don't know. But I was thirty four, 72 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 4: she was thirty seven. We both wanted kids. We were 73 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 4: on an accelerated timeline. I didn't know she was indispensable 74 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 4: to me. I didn't figure out she was indispensable to 75 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 4: me until after we were married. I took an educated 76 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 4: guest and a leap of faith. That turned out to 77 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 4: be the best decision I ever made. 78 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 2: But I would specially if you have if you have 79 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 2: a bad track record in love, it's really hard to 80 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 2: know anything when nothing's ever worked out before. I agree 81 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 2: with that too, But I'm not saying just no feeling, 82 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 2: just no feeling is great, like I'm all for it. 83 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 4: I just don't think everybody learns well. 84 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: I know, but I have to put the difference on 85 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: that because for me, also with the way that I 86 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: was raised and the the na seeing good role models 87 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: for relationships, I guess there's always some leap of faith. 88 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: You don't, you can't, you're not You're not a soothsayer. 89 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: But I would need to know yes to do it. 90 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: I would need to know yes to do. 91 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 4: It, what I knew about my wife, what my wife 92 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 4: knew about me. To individualize this, you can't make this 93 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 4: for everybody. Is it was easy? That was huge. We 94 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 4: really didn't fight, right. We naturally shared the same values. Right. 95 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 4: We come from middle class backgrounds. 96 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 3: We make fundamental the fundamentals. 97 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 4: The unsexy stuff, character, kindness, consistency, communication, commitment check check check. 98 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 4: So on paper, is she the most impressive person I've 99 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 4: ever dated? 100 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:50,919 Speaker 2: No? 101 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 4: The last guy she did it before me was six seven. 102 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 4: I can't compete with that on five ' nine. The 103 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,839 Speaker 4: truth he was in some grad school to be computer 104 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 4: scientists or something. I'm just a guy who talks about 105 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 4: women before a living. So the idea that you're dating 106 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,280 Speaker 4: the person who's the best in every category, No, you're 107 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 4: dating the person who when you're with them, you can 108 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 4: let down your guard, you can be yourself. You can 109 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 4: take a twelve hour car ride without a radio and 110 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,280 Speaker 4: not get bored, and you can make a hundred little 111 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 4: decisions together without wanting to kill each other. And that 112 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 4: doesn't show up in a bumble profile. And that doesn't 113 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 4: show up on a first date. And that's the hard part. 114 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,919 Speaker 4: We need to give it enough time to breathe, to 115 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 4: go through a few seasons together to see, oh wow, 116 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 4: it's still going really smoothly. This is confusing. 117 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: You're one hundred percent right, one hundred percent right. 118 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 4: So we get engaged at the peak of the roller 119 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 4: coaster and then we discover it's a mistake. It's really 120 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,480 Speaker 4: a smoother ride. And I'm sure you've had your experiences. 121 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: No, I completely agree with you. It's a compatibility aspect, 122 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: the energy match, and you're right. Is it just it 123 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 1: should feel in that way? It should feel easy. What 124 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: about comparisons? What about people coming in and wanting to 125 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: take the oli carte menu even they were with the 126 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: last relationship and yes, the guy was a little crazy, 127 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: but he was exciting and he bought me presents, or 128 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: he wanted to go on vacations or he did that. 129 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: Like what about the comparing that people do where they 130 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: want to kind of take something from that and if 131 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: this person who does make them feel good but doesn't 132 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: have that one thing, So how do you deal with 133 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 1: these women? Because women are nitpicky, women are pain pains 134 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 1: and the asses and women are constantly finding the ant 135 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 1: at the picnic. So what about these ants at the 136 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,840 Speaker 1: picnics and these comparisons. 137 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 4: I have the final thing in my signature course Love You, 138 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 4: is an exercise called the husband Picker. It's like, it's 139 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 4: like a fifteen minute exercise. I'm not going to go 140 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 4: through the whole thing with you, but it touches on 141 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 4: the exact same thing you're talking about. If I just said, hey, 142 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 4: most important thing you need to get character, kindness, consistency, communication, commitment, 143 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,279 Speaker 4: because if you're missing one of them, you're screwed. Doesn't 144 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 4: matter how gorgeous or hot, or rich or smart he is. 145 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 3: It's character, kindness. 146 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 4: Consistency, communication, commitment. Maybe add connection because I think that's 147 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 4: really important too, So we could call it the five 148 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 4: SE's the six seeds. One of them is a K. 149 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 4: We don't have to be too precise about it. But 150 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 4: the idea is these are the baseline things. And if 151 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 4: I ask you or most of your women listeners, what's 152 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 4: the reason that you didn't work out with Brad dan John, 153 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 4: it's going to be one of those six things. It's 154 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 4: not going to be I wish he was five eleven, 155 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 4: but he's really five to ten, right, it's not going 156 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 4: to be I wanted to make, you know, two hundred 157 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 4: and fifty thousand dollars, but he'd made one hundred. 158 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 3: What was the last one? Commitment and then what character? 159 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 4: Kindness, consistency, communication, commitment, and connection is probably a sixth 160 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 4: one because you could have the nicest guy in the world, 161 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 4: but if you don't feel a connection with him, it 162 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:41,559 Speaker 4: doesn't really matter. 163 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: Where would you put Like the energy match that so 164 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: many people talk about and the dimming of the light, 165 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 1: like someone you're alive. They love the aliveness, they're attracted 166 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: to it, but like your light is being dimmed. I 167 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: hear this a lot with men and women where they 168 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: feel like they're losing themselves. Someone's dimming their light. Someone's 169 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: like they have to like dumb it down for the 170 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: other person or downplay it. 171 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 3: What is that? 172 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 4: That's part of a feeling that you should know. A 173 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 4: good relationship elevates you, even if they're not more impressive 174 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 4: than you. They become sort of the wind beneath your wings. 175 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,719 Speaker 4: Pretty Much every like superstar person has the behind the 176 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 4: scenes person who allows them to be the superstar person, 177 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 4: right Like not every famous athlete, politician has another famous 178 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,439 Speaker 4: person with them who's out there killing it in a 179 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 4: big way. Right, So if you're Ruth Vader Ginsburg, your 180 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 4: husband is not a Supreme Court justice. He's probably just 181 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 4: a regular lawyer or something like that. So I think 182 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,839 Speaker 4: we just have to recognize that you're right. If that 183 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 4: relationship is draining, it's not additive. There's no point to 184 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 4: the relationship. It's dead weight. 185 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: Yes, even if you really love the person and they 186 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: make you feel good sometimes and you entertain. But if 187 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: you feel drained and you feel like there's a rub 188 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: and the drain, that's okay. 189 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,719 Speaker 3: It's the fundamental that's right. 190 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 4: And that also a thing you can't see on paper 191 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 4: or something you could only experience because a lot of 192 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,679 Speaker 4: people and a lot of people audition. Well, you could 193 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,320 Speaker 4: have a few good mess and then the mask comes 194 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,439 Speaker 4: off and you're like, oh, this is the real you, 195 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 4: not the first few months. This is the real you. 196 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,559 Speaker 4: And so a big part of my work is encouraging 197 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 4: women to listen to their own feelings. 198 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 1: So let's talk about sex and not when you should 199 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: have it and the boring things we've all heard about before, 200 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: but like how much it means when it's working, when 201 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 1: it's not working, can you work on certain things? You're 202 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: a little conservative, the other person is a little kinky. 203 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 1: It's weird to talk about bed sex, but you can't 204 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 1: because you can't talk about when you're in bed. But 205 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: then one person may not know exactly what they're doing. 206 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: But can that be corrected? Everyone doesn't walk like there's 207 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: a man breck that I know that says people, well, 208 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: don't come with batteries included, Like, so, where do you 209 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: stand on all of these sexual dynamics? 210 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 4: Yeah, And everybody has their own and this is about 211 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 4: dating and relationships. Everybody has their own rule book that 212 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 4: they carry in their head that they think this is 213 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 4: the way everybody supposed to do things the way I 214 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 4: like it. Everybody has that rule book. I think women 215 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,839 Speaker 4: even have even more of a rule book than men 216 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 4: about what men are supposed to do. Where men are like, well, 217 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 4: she seems pretty and nice and all to see where 218 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 4: this thing goes? So I think it's it's it becomes 219 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 4: really challenging, especially if you're lacking a spark. So I 220 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 4: would never tell anybody to be in a relationship without 221 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 4: a spark. We mark that as like a six out 222 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 4: of ten in chemistry, it's like a made up number. 223 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 4: But if if you don't have to talk yourself into 224 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,679 Speaker 4: a date, in other words, you don't have to talk yourself. 225 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,439 Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be a ten at it doesn't. 226 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 4: Have to be a ten because a six could grow 227 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 4: to a nine with great sex, right, But you can't 228 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 4: take up two and turn it into anything. And a 229 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,599 Speaker 4: lot of women try to yes, because hey, I was 230 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,319 Speaker 4: told them too picky. I'm told they should give this 231 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 4: guy a shot. Nope, you don't don't have to talk 232 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 4: yourself in ever. Sexual incompatibility is a thing that could 233 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 4: be worked on to a point, which makes it almost 234 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 4: like any other compatibility, right, like introversion and extraversion. How 235 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,559 Speaker 4: we spend money, how we parent the kids, like. 236 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 3: Even cadence, how much? 237 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: How how what time after dinner you're drinking? You're not 238 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: Men can't perform necessarily the same favorite like with all 239 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: that stuff, And so when when is that discussed over 240 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: the car ride? 241 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 3: It's not discussed in bed. 242 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 4: So no, it's it's one of those things where most 243 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,079 Speaker 4: of the stuff we're talking about now again I think 244 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 4: it's really interesting and important, it's none of it's really 245 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 4: first date to come out. 246 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 3: No no, no, no no. But you you only coach 247 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 3: for like first dates or once they're in it. 248 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 4: No, no, I coach women say through relationships. I start 249 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 4: from zero to relationships. So it's a soup to nuts 250 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 4: type concier service. But when someone's dating someone and they're 251 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 4: unsure about the quality of their sex life, that becomes 252 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 4: just another metric that is potentially negotiable, that could become 253 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 4: a deal breaker if they can't get it together and 254 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 4: find a compromise. Point. There's an old Annie hall Woody 255 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 4: Allen and Diane Keaton are having it out. They're talking 256 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 4: to their respective therapists and he's like, I feel like 257 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 4: we never have sex. It's like only like three times 258 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 4: a week. And she's like, this guy wants sex all 259 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:28,439 Speaker 4: the time. It's three times a week, right, So as 260 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 4: long as both people could live it's a Van diagram. 261 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 4: As long as both people could live with the compromise, 262 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 4: it could work. 263 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 3: Okay. 264 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: But so that's to your point the beginning. You're dating, now, 265 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,839 Speaker 1: how do you deal with sex? You're off to the races, 266 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 1: you're attracted to each other, but the sex is a 267 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,199 Speaker 1: little clunky, Like, how are you talking about sex with 268 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: someone you just start dating. 269 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 3: Let's talk about that. 270 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 4: I think it's always in a positive affirming way, right. 271 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 4: I love when you do this. I really like our connection. 272 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 4: You know what would really make me happy? You know 273 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 4: what really really turns me on? I love it when 274 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 4: you How could I and reverse it? If you're dissatisfied? 275 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 4: You say is there anything I could do to please 276 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 4: you better? So it puts the focus on him and 277 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,559 Speaker 4: he might say, yeah, no, I really actually liked a 278 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 4: little bit of oral before it gets started. So you 279 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 4: flip it on him, and then he's going to turn 280 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 4: around and ask you the same question. Well, I'm so 281 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 4: glad you asked. In fact, here's something I really liked. 282 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,679 Speaker 4: It might not be something you normally do, but maybe 283 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 4: next time we could experiment with that. 284 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 3: Okay. 285 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 4: I think people have their comfort zones, and if someone 286 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 4: is again for your term, very you know, very kinky 287 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 4: or very vanilla, that could be a deal breaker that 288 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 4: you don't see until you've actually gone a couple of 289 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 4: rounds as a couple where they just there's no way 290 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 4: unless you're advertising this, you couldn't have figured it out. 291 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 4: But as I said, that makes sense. No different from 292 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 4: money communication there's all sorts of things that you can't 293 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 4: really navigate until you're a couple. 294 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: I think things that are like not gimmicks, but like 295 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: sort of not like games, like the love languages or 296 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 1: it's not it's not a gimmick, but things that can 297 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: be defined, like if you're talking to someone. I once 298 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 1: had a conversation with someone about like what's most important 299 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 1: to them? 300 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 3: Meaning for me, it's safety. 301 00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,800 Speaker 1: For you, it might be being wanted for someone else, 302 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: that might be being loved someone else. 303 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 3: It's physical touch. 304 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: It's kind of a cousin to love language is like 305 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: what is the thing you know? 306 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 3: And I think that stuff once someone hears. 307 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: It, you can like you really it is like a 308 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: it's like a prescription. And what the most what are 309 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 1: you finding that most women are wanting in that way? 310 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: Not not meaning like presents and meals, I mean like 311 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: from as a fundamental said, and what are you finding 312 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 1: men want, women want to feel safe? 313 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 4: No, I love this. You can literally go to my 314 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 4: website right now. I'm not telling everybody that they should. 315 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 3: They should. 316 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 4: Women are looking for a relationship in general, they'll say 317 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 4: I want a no argument, tall, dark hands and successful, rich, 318 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 4: charismatic funny, what do they need? Safe her and understood? 319 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 3: Okay, safe, Because if you're. 320 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 4: Not safe, heard and understood, you're always going to feel 321 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 4: like your relationship is lacking. It's always going to feel 322 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 4: like it's on shaky ground, no matter how great the 323 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 4: sexual connection, the intellectual stimulation. Think about relationships you've had, 324 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 4: especially if you're anxious attachment style. You've chosen men for 325 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 4: whatever reason who didn't make you feel safeer for it 326 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 4: and understood, and turned out you weren't safeer it and 327 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 4: understood in those relationships. 328 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 3: And what are the men looking for? 329 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 4: Accepted, appreciated, and admired, and it's something they don't get anywhere. 330 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 4: You heard me. I said the number one thing that 331 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 4: I was lacking, and it took me three hundred dates 332 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 4: to realize it was I went out with really bright women. 333 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 4: I went out with really sexy women. I went out 334 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 4: with really cultured women who can teach me things. I'm 335 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 4: turned on by all those things. I could not find 336 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 4: one person who didn't try to change. 337 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 3: Me accept it. 338 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 4: So the fact that I had I've had one person 339 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 4: who just accepted me as I was and saw me 340 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 4: as the best version of myself, wouldn't you like to 341 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 4: be seen as the best version of yourself by your partner. 342 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 1: Well that's funny because when I was on stage with 343 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: Alex Cooper and she as, I said, someone, you're not 344 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: dumbing it down. I said, you need someone needs to 345 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: accept you for exactly who you are. I literally just 346 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 1: said that someone accept you. 347 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 4: I know. So I said, I think I think you 348 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 4: might be a salon. 349 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: I don't know about that, but okay, so then that 350 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 1: that's good. Those are two different things for women and 351 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: for men, So that's something that's a good. 352 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 4: But there is an overlap. Right, So we could say 353 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 4: women need to feel safe and understood and then need 354 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 4: to be accepted, appreciated, admired, But that turns sex into 355 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 4: this sort of false binary because wanted. Yeah, women might 356 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 4: need safety more than men need safety, and men might 357 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 4: need appreciation more. Right, But any little thing a guy 358 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 4: does we talk about go back to love languages. Guys 359 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 4: you know, uh are not gonna might not say I 360 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 4: love you as much. I'm a words guy, but other guys, 361 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 4: he shows you he loves you by taking out the 362 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 4: heavy grocery bag and by picking up your kids from 363 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 4: school on his way home from work and it's a 364 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 4: lot of the actions rather than the words. If you're 365 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 4: a woman who needs the words, you'll often struggle with 366 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 4: his expression of love. 367 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: Right because you also have to always look at where 368 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: someone comes from, what's their background. Will I had a 369 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: conversation with someone where I said to them, you are 370 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: a breeder dog. I am a rescue I came from 371 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 1: a completely different environment than you came from. And so 372 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: the same thing that would not even phase you would 373 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 1: make me want to bite you or me run back 374 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 1: into the cage, like a score or squirrel that runs 375 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,879 Speaker 1: up the tree. We are different creatures. And like, I 376 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: don't think even though people might know that, I think 377 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 1: that stuff needs to be laid out because it's a 378 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: different concept. Like if you're really thinking about somebody who 379 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 1: just has had parents have been together for fifty years 380 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 1: and like has only seen positivity, and you have another 381 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: person who's seen like complete abuse and drugs and like 382 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,399 Speaker 1: sexual assault, it's going to be different. 383 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,400 Speaker 4: Have you seen this, I mean it seems sort of timely. 384 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 4: Have you seen this Netflix show? Nobody wants this yet? No, 385 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 4: it's Adam Brodie, Kristen Bell, He's a and then she rabbi. 386 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 4: She's a little bit of a hot mess who does 387 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,959 Speaker 4: a podcast about her love life. And you know, this 388 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 4: guy is doing like everything right and that not to 389 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 4: give anything away, the sort of tipping point in the 390 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,919 Speaker 4: story is she keeps on finding reasons to push him away. 391 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,199 Speaker 4: He's so nice, he's so functional, he's so dorky. How 392 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 4: do we get rid of this guy who's done nothing 393 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 4: but be consistent? And he just holds her and says, hey, 394 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 4: I can handle you, right. Interesting, that's the moment, and 395 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 4: again I thought it was it was a very good 396 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,679 Speaker 4: modern look at dating. I get I get no points 397 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 4: for for I'm just I'm just I'm sharing because it's 398 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 4: a it's a cute, cute, bingeable sittime about this. 399 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:57,359 Speaker 1: So what are you finding that men and women respectively 400 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: are doing wrong in dying? The biggest things that are 401 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: so common and so easy to correct. You know, I've 402 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 1: heard the girls say that the men really want the 403 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: women to make an effort, and they seem like they care, 404 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: they took time for the day, and often that also 405 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,200 Speaker 1: that like alcohol is a problem. They don't eat there, 406 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 1: they get drunk, they share too much. Like, what are 407 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 1: you finding? 408 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,199 Speaker 4: I think the biggest problem that men and women have 409 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,959 Speaker 4: in dating is it has almost little to do with 410 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 4: men and women, and it has everything to do with where 411 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 4: we are as a society right now. It's dating apps, 412 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 4: it's swiping, it's texting, it's the infinite number of choices, 413 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 4: it's the deep personalization of things. It's the lack of 414 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 4: solving problems like this by conversation by phone. Everybody's over subscribed, 415 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 4: too much noise out there, there's always something else pinging 416 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 4: on your phone, and so I just think we're at 417 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 4: a point in society where everybody and then everybody gets 418 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 4: burnt out. So men are burnt down on this, women 419 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,400 Speaker 4: are burnt down on this. Everybody hates this, and they 420 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 4: keep doing it the same way. So to me, the solution, 421 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,479 Speaker 4: and again the gift I want to give to your 422 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,439 Speaker 4: readers before we go, is how do we say, in 423 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 4: this moment, how do we push back against the excesses 424 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,120 Speaker 4: of this and turned dating into something that's a lot 425 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,119 Speaker 4: more fun and personal and something that probably resembles the 426 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,879 Speaker 4: way maybe you and I, if we're similar ages dated 427 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 4: back before it was all phone based dating. Okay, how 428 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 4: do we make better connections with people instead of treating 429 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 4: everybody as disposable on an app, and I think that 430 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,400 Speaker 4: there's something to that. 431 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 3: I don't know. 432 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: I think it's customized shopping where you get to get 433 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: exactly what you want, and it's fishing and you only 434 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 1: have to find one. So it can be a little 435 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,159 Speaker 1: like you get full and you're at the buffet. But 436 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: I think, yes, there's a lot of wasting time and 437 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,399 Speaker 1: doing what you're saying. But I think going out, going 438 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,880 Speaker 1: to the restaurant, going to the bar, looking around, talking 439 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: to someone who might be married, I think that was 440 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 1: for fucking time consuming too. 441 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,200 Speaker 3: Like it. I think it's more efficient. 442 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 4: I didn't say get away from the area. 443 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 3: I know you didn't say it. 444 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 1: I'm just saying I think buy and large in the aggregate, 445 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 1: it's not that different. I don't I'm pushing back on 446 00:20:59,359 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: you this time. 447 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,439 Speaker 4: What's different. Here's the big difference, and we will close 448 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,920 Speaker 4: and continue. The big difference is I go to a bar, 449 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 4: I see you across the bar. I find you're attractive. 450 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 4: After I do my lap. Got to do the lap? Yeah, right, 451 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,480 Speaker 4: I get the courage to come up to you, right, 452 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 4: make a little small talk. Hey, step outside, grab a drink, 453 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 4: get your number. I got that was my that's my night. 454 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,199 Speaker 4: I got your number. I'm excited about that. That's my 455 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 4: singular focus. I can come home from a bad day 456 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 4: at work, put my feet up on the table, turn 457 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 4: on the TV, eat some crappy dinner, and get fifty 458 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:40,920 Speaker 4: phone numbers. So the volume, the competition makes it such 459 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 4: that normal people who might have connections have way too 460 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 4: many options to focus. 461 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 3: Well, that's absolutely true. Okay, So that's absolutely true. Yeah, 462 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 3: I get it. I get it. 463 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,199 Speaker 4: So the apps are great for creating opportunity where we 464 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 4: would not meet people. Yes, Hinge just reduced the number 465 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 4: of conversations you could have to ten. Not a step 466 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 4: in the right direction. They're trying to just say, hey, 467 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,160 Speaker 4: let's have a little focus here, let's treat people more 468 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 4: like humans. Yeah, use the technology to meet people outside 469 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 4: of your world. Yes, And how do we make a 470 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,919 Speaker 4: better connection before we go on a blind date with 471 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,520 Speaker 4: the stranger? How do we just humanize this a little 472 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 4: bit by slowing down. That's to me, it's old school 473 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 4: values for modern day dating. 474 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:24,199 Speaker 3: Okay, I like it. Okay, So what's the solution and 475 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 3: what's the gift to the listeners? 476 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 4: I'm so glad you asked. I just created it, and 477 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 4: I just created because I knew I was going to 478 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 4: be on today. So it's a it's a mini course, 479 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 4: right basically seven videos, seven like six minute videos. You 480 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 4: could breeze through one a day. 481 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 3: Okay. 482 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,639 Speaker 4: It's called Raise your Relationship Standards seven Steps to finding 483 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 4: a quality commitment, orient and man. 484 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 3: Love it. I'm excited. 485 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 4: I made it specifically for you. So if you go 486 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,920 Speaker 4: to Vanmarkatz dot com forward slash just be it takes 487 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 4: you that page. 488 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 1: Amazing, amazing conversation, really really good and different. 489 00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,120 Speaker 3: So I'm excited. 490 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,760 Speaker 4: Yeah you were, you were amazing. 491 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 3: Thank you. I appreciate it. It's a good topic. It's 492 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 3: a great women want to know, men want to know. 493 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 3: I like it. I think it's dynamics. 494 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,439 Speaker 1: So next time we'll talk about more of like the 495 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: brass hacks are just like walking into a bar and 496 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: things like that. But I think this stuff is the 497 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: stuff people have a harder time with than like go 498 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:16,720 Speaker 1: to a steakhouse and meet men. 499 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 3: You know what I mean? 500 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,439 Speaker 4: I agree entirely. 501 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 3: Okay, great, awesome, have a great day. 502 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.