WEBVTT - Feeling Tempted with Mark Walberg

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<v Speaker 1>Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared

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<v Speaker 1>and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, and welcome to

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<v Speaker 1>another episode of Help I Suck At Dating. My name

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<v Speaker 1>is Dean Clert and I am here with Jared. We

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<v Speaker 1>have Vanessa in Canada, the usual suspects on the producing

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<v Speaker 1>side as well. We have a very special episode for you,

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<v Speaker 1>Mark Wahlberg from Temptation Island. We've had him as a

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<v Speaker 1>guest before we got him back. He's going to be

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<v Speaker 1>guest hosting with us today. Um, but before we jump

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<v Speaker 1>into that, we have to talk with Vanessa. Vanessa, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just gonna hand it over to you here. Oh okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna try not to get emotional. Well, first of all,

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<v Speaker 1>uh my I told Mark this already. My boyfriend is

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<v Speaker 1>a huge fan of Mark Wahlberg. He's been watching him

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<v Speaker 1>ever since he was on Temptation Island, so he's like

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<v Speaker 1>a huge fan of his. So I'm really happy you

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<v Speaker 1>guys have him as a guest co host today. But

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<v Speaker 1>the reason he's on as a guest co host is

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<v Speaker 1>because it is my last episode with Help I Second Dating.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm already starting to cry. Um, but these are

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<v Speaker 1>it's like for me. It's more of a bitter sweet

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<v Speaker 1>tears like tears right now. It's it was a decision

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<v Speaker 1>of mine to make this my last episode with the

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<v Speaker 1>help I Second Dating family. And I really do say

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<v Speaker 1>it's a family because when I first came on, well,

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<v Speaker 1>first of all, this was Dean show to begin with,

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<v Speaker 1>so this was Dean's help I second dating show, and

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<v Speaker 1>then Jared came on board, and then I came on board,

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<v Speaker 1>And it was kind of a risk to kind of

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<v Speaker 1>have someone who wasn't part of your friend group to

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<v Speaker 1>be part of the show. So I really just wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to a say thank you so much for walking me,

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<v Speaker 1>welcoming me with open arms, because it wasn't a secret.

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<v Speaker 1>None of us were friends at the beginning of the show.

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<v Speaker 1>At least I wasn't friends with you guys at the

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<v Speaker 1>beginning of the show. But I really do feel like

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<v Speaker 1>we we grew together, we connected, and I learned so

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<v Speaker 1>much from not only you guys, but the guests and

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<v Speaker 1>our listeners and our producers. UM, and so I felt

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<v Speaker 1>like it was time for me to um take everything

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<v Speaker 1>that I've learned, all the tools that I've learned from

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<v Speaker 1>being on the show. UM. I really felt like every

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<v Speaker 1>time I called in and every time we recorded my

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<v Speaker 1>Monday afternoons and my Tuesday afternoons where were like a

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<v Speaker 1>therapy session with you guys. And now I have all

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<v Speaker 1>the tools that I need to somewhat have my life

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<v Speaker 1>in order and my life together in my life and

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<v Speaker 1>check and I have so many passion projects that I

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<v Speaker 1>really want to focus on, and it makes me sad

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<v Speaker 1>to think that the last year and a half I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't really been focusing much on my nonprofit, No Better You,

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<v Speaker 1>which is UM a nonprofit for special education programs in Montreal.

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<v Speaker 1>And ever since, I would say the last month or so,

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<v Speaker 1>things kind of started aligning for me when it comes

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<v Speaker 1>when it came to education, when it came to my nonprofit,

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<v Speaker 1>and I had to make a decision as to whether

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<v Speaker 1>or not I was going to put all of my

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<v Speaker 1>energy towards that. And that was a sad realization where

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<v Speaker 1>I had to kind of decide what I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>focus on next, and I really wanted to focus on

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<v Speaker 1>my nonprofits, so it was a really hard decision for

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<v Speaker 1>me UM. But like I said, it's I don't feel

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<v Speaker 1>as though this is my last episode, because I do

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I'm going to come back on or I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to need advice from you guys. And I love

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<v Speaker 1>talking about relationships, so I still want our listeners to

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<v Speaker 1>keep listening to you, guys, because it really has been

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<v Speaker 1>such a learning curve for me, and I guess the

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<v Speaker 1>learning curve is also taking risks, being able to take risks, because,

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<v Speaker 1>like I said at the beginning, it was scary for

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<v Speaker 1>me to come on. Um, I wasn't sure if I

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<v Speaker 1>was going to be welcomed. I wasn't sure if I

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<v Speaker 1>was gonna be liked. I wasn't sure, if you know,

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<v Speaker 1>if it was going to be a good fit. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>And it end up being an amazing opportunity. And now

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<v Speaker 1>I'm taking a risk at saying goodbye and focusing on

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<v Speaker 1>something else that doesn't make me money, but it makes

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<v Speaker 1>me really happy. So that's that's my news. Listen, Vanessa,

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<v Speaker 1>I get it. You come into the podcast called help

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<v Speaker 1>I Suck at Dating, you learn how to stop sucking

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<v Speaker 1>at dating, and then you decided to bow out gracefully,

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<v Speaker 1>and honestly, I respect that because Jared and I are

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<v Speaker 1>working on the same thing. It's just taking us a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit longer. But gosh, I cannot wait to quit

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<v Speaker 1>one day. Listen, it's so crazy how well. I just

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<v Speaker 1>want to say thank you, especially to our listeners, because

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<v Speaker 1>I get so many dems from them saying, remember when

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<v Speaker 1>you did this episode when you were single and crying

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<v Speaker 1>that you were not going to be a mother, that

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<v Speaker 1>you were going to be in a relationship, and our

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<v Speaker 1>listeners really either a hold me accountable for the things

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<v Speaker 1>that I have said and that I wanted to do,

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<v Speaker 1>and for reminding me of the growth that I've had.

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<v Speaker 1>And so it's crazy to think that we all started

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<v Speaker 1>this podcast completely single, not knowing where life was going

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<v Speaker 1>to go romantically, and now Jared is married, I'm in

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship, and Deans in a relationship, and listen, we

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<v Speaker 1>all evolve together. That's right, Yes we did. It is

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<v Speaker 1>really sad that you're this is technically your last day.

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<v Speaker 1>Even though I agree with you, Vanessa, I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>this would be the last podcast that you are on.

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<v Speaker 1>Help I suck at dating? Because yeah, it was Dean's

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<v Speaker 1>at first, and then I guess co hosted with Kendall Long.

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<v Speaker 1>I got a random phone call saying would you want

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<v Speaker 1>to come guest co host? Just too? Just an episode?

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<v Speaker 1>See how it goes and then we did that, and

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<v Speaker 1>then the next week I got a call back, and

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<v Speaker 1>then I think the next week after that was when

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<v Speaker 1>we interviewed you Vanessa, and then it was just a

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<v Speaker 1>good fit. And then I got a phone call saying, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>would you want to do help I suck a dating

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<v Speaker 1>with yourself, Dean and Vanessa going forward and have your

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<v Speaker 1>own my Heart radio podcast. Um. So this has been

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<v Speaker 1>a growing experience for all three of us together. So

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<v Speaker 1>it is going to be weird not having you a

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<v Speaker 1>part of the podcast, just because I haven't really experienced

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast without you. Um. And like you said, we didn't,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I don't. I think I met you one

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<v Speaker 1>time before we started doing the podcast, and and we

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<v Speaker 1>have all really grown together. And like you said, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>you're in a relationship now, Dean's in a relationship. I'm married.

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<v Speaker 1>I was technically dating Ashley when I started the podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>so I can't say I came in completely single. That

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<v Speaker 1>would be a lie. Um. But it's been an incredible

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<v Speaker 1>experience and it will be really sad to see you go. UM.

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<v Speaker 1>But I know that once again, my gut tells me

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<v Speaker 1>this will be This won't be the last podcast you

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<v Speaker 1>hear from Vanessa Grimaldi. Ah, I love you guys. Honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>it's been such an amazing experience, and I really have

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<v Speaker 1>to thank I think we all have to thank the

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<v Speaker 1>people who don't get enough recognition, Amy Tory, Danielle Easton,

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<v Speaker 1>Mark who really hold this podcast together, um, and who

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<v Speaker 1>have helped us through a lot, not only through not

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<v Speaker 1>only on the podcast. Um. It's sad, It's sad. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I really don't think this is gonna be the last

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<v Speaker 1>time I'm going to be speaking with you guys. And hopefully,

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<v Speaker 1>if I do need advice, it's not going to be

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<v Speaker 1>relationship advice, because hopefully from here on out it's going

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<v Speaker 1>to be smooth sailing for Josh and I. It's probably

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be wedding planning advice from Jared. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>you think I'll be more than happy to help you? Okay, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>tm I not TM I, but actually, just f y

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<v Speaker 1>I I've been sending Josh pictures of engagement rings? Is

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<v Speaker 1>that like a no note or put the pressure on?

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<v Speaker 1>I think Josh is kind of the guy that would

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<v Speaker 1>be okay with it. Yeah, but if Kylin was sending

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<v Speaker 1>me pictures, actually she does an all the time. But

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<v Speaker 1>I'm thure Josh loves it, and I mean I obviously

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<v Speaker 1>only think Josh loves that you send those pictures and

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<v Speaker 1>is taking notes hopefully. Well, I don't know what am

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<v Speaker 1>I supposed to do? Am I supposed to say? Goodbye?

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<v Speaker 1>We have a we have a bagpipe symphony that's we're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna play. You said, ye, Actually Easton is about to

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<v Speaker 1>stand up and perform it right now, he's not even

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<v Speaker 1>in studio. Um. Well, for the listeners out there that

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<v Speaker 1>we're obviously we're all gonna miss Vanessa, I'm sure the listeners, um,

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<v Speaker 1>we are going to miss you as well. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>like you said, well, we'll hopefully have you back occasionally

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<v Speaker 1>to give us updates on your life and and check

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<v Speaker 1>in on No Better You, um, and check in on

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<v Speaker 1>that engagement ring shopping from Josh as well. So, um, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we love you, and we appreciate everything that you've done

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<v Speaker 1>with us and for us, and we obviously know that

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to continue to crush it and we're looking

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<v Speaker 1>forward to see that. We're looking forward to hearing more

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<v Speaker 1>about No Better You. I know you're planning on putting

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<v Speaker 1>a lot more of your time and effort into it

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<v Speaker 1>and we're excited to see what comes from it. So

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<v Speaker 1>many exciting projects coming up, so I'm very excited to

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<v Speaker 1>call back in and keep you guys updated with everything

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<v Speaker 1>that's happening. But thanks for all the love, thanks for

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<v Speaker 1>all the support, and um, I will definitely miss you

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<v Speaker 1>guys and our listeners. We Vanessa love you guys can

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<v Speaker 1>cry now by um. All right, Well, so in the

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<v Speaker 1>light of that heavy news, as we mentioned, we have

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<v Speaker 1>Mark Wahlberg co hosting the rest of the episode with us,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think we should probably give an update about

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<v Speaker 1>what we're doing moving forward, because I'm sure people are curious,

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<v Speaker 1>are we Is it just gonna be the two of us?

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<v Speaker 1>Are we getting a new guest host? And from my understanding,

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<v Speaker 1>we are going to get somebody else. We don't know

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<v Speaker 1>who yet. Let's told tryouts. If you want to be

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<v Speaker 1>a co host to help by suck at Dating, please

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<v Speaker 1>go ahead and follow us on Instagram. Submit your emails

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<v Speaker 1>to I suck at Dating at iHeart media dot com

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<v Speaker 1>with a resume attached, maybe um a minute long snippet

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<v Speaker 1>of your voice. Resume A right, It's not gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>too difficult. Would be like joining a fraternity you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what that means. Don't they have to

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<v Speaker 1>go through this rigorous application process initiation. I guess that

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<v Speaker 1>was just kind of a weird thing to say, because

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<v Speaker 1>it's it's not a it's a it's a job application.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not a fraternity application. I understand that. But fraternity

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<v Speaker 1>as are well known for having a really difficult initiation process.

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<v Speaker 1>If you want to, if you want to be considered

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<v Speaker 1>for being a co host of help I Suck a

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<v Speaker 1>Dating with Me and Jared, email your resume to I

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<v Speaker 1>Suck a Dating at iHeart media dot com. We're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>go through everyone hand pick maybe a few, will have

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<v Speaker 1>some interviews, We'll talk to some people, will bring some

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<v Speaker 1>guest co hosts on Trium out and see how it goes.

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<v Speaker 1>We might even bring someone in from bachel Nation who knows.

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<v Speaker 1>Who knows, But I think right now until we find

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<v Speaker 1>somebody else, will be Dean and myself, uh sucking at Dating,

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<v Speaker 1>and then we'll see what the future has to bring.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know where you gonna say something? Yeah? Um,

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<v Speaker 1>So we are bringing in some people over the next

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<v Speaker 1>few months, so we do want to hear from all

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<v Speaker 1>of our listeners. If there's one co host that they

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<v Speaker 1>really really love. So if you listen over the next

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<v Speaker 1>couple of months and there's somebody that stands out, email

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<v Speaker 1>us and let us know. We want to hear your

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<v Speaker 1>feedback and help us decide our next co host. And

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<v Speaker 1>we always want to hear your feedback. I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>we we talked about it enough, and that's I think

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<v Speaker 1>Dean and I have been actively trying to work on

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<v Speaker 1>engaging more of your voice, whether that be through Instagram

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<v Speaker 1>to Facebook, group emails. Please keep emailing us your stories,

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<v Speaker 1>anything you want asked on air, Um, any advice you'd like.

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<v Speaker 1>We we really want to do a better job of

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<v Speaker 1>incorporating those questions, uh throughout the podcast. Um, yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>I agree with everything that everyone's been saying this entire episode.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to agree with everyone else as it

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<v Speaker 1>continues to drag on. We're gonna take a quick break,

0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:33.440
<v Speaker 1>but when we get back, we're gonna have Mark Wahlberg

0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:35.520
<v Speaker 1>in studio with us. He's gonna tell us a little

0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:37.400
<v Speaker 1>bit about what he's been up to with Temptation Island

0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.320
<v Speaker 1>season two, and then after that we are going to

0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:43.160
<v Speaker 1>be answering some listener questions. It's gonna get juicy. We're

0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.400
<v Speaker 1>gonna talk about some taboo topics because those seem to

0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.480
<v Speaker 1>be the most interesting ones for us to talk about.

0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:50.560
<v Speaker 1>I even get uncomfortable when we talk about them, but

0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.760
<v Speaker 1>I think being uncomfortable in the conversation is a good thing. Yes,

0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.840
<v Speaker 1>and at the end of the day, through yes, exactly. Okay,

0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:59.520
<v Speaker 1>so we're gonna take a quick break, uh, and we'll

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:09.800
<v Speaker 1>jump in to having Mark here. All right, and we

0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.160
<v Speaker 1>are back, and as promised, we have Mark Wahlberg in

0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.439
<v Speaker 1>studio with us. He was supposed to be a guest,

0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:17.760
<v Speaker 1>but we love Mark so much we just decided to

0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 1>have him co host the entire episode with us. Come

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.800
<v Speaker 1>around of applause, guys, A nice help. I suck at dating.

0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.800
<v Speaker 1>Welcome Mark, Welcome to the podcast. I'm a little nervous

0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:29.040
<v Speaker 1>as a new role as a guest. It's only four

0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.160
<v Speaker 1>minutes or so, but I'm gonna be here for minutes.

0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.200
<v Speaker 1>We're Yeah, We're gonna definitly get our money's worth out

0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:36.760
<v Speaker 1>of you today. The entire time along you've been You've

0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.960
<v Speaker 1>been consistently coming to these I Heart podcasts. Right, You've

0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:41.720
<v Speaker 1>been on this now two times. You've been on scrubbing

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:46.920
<v Speaker 1>in with that Gatilly An Tanya rad I know those

0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.360
<v Speaker 1>are like obviously like that's better than Temptation Island kind

0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.600
<v Speaker 1>of goal on my show business circle. And basically actually

0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:53.920
<v Speaker 1>today I got here before they opened up the lobby

0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:55.520
<v Speaker 1>and I had to kind of like gangster my way

0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:57.679
<v Speaker 1>up and they're everybody's coming into work on what are

0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.040
<v Speaker 1>you doing here? I'm like, good morning. I was like

0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:01.720
<v Speaker 1>the greater how juice sneak in this morning? I couldn't

0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.640
<v Speaker 1>even get on this floor, you know, I uh, you

0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:06.280
<v Speaker 1>just do the same thing you do when you're try

0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.839
<v Speaker 1>and get into the apartment complex. Somebody's open the door

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:10.880
<v Speaker 1>and pretend you got bags in your hand and walk in.

0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:12.920
<v Speaker 1>You seem like a very savvy man who can just

0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.680
<v Speaker 1>talk his way into and out of everything. I have

0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:21.680
<v Speaker 1>a few stories. You have more than just a few stories.

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:24.360
<v Speaker 1>You're telling me. One about poker last night, though, was

0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:30.000
<v Speaker 1>very intriguing. But you are known for your hosting career

0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:33.520
<v Speaker 1>that you have done so many different shows, Shop Till

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:37.000
<v Speaker 1>You Dropped, the Big Day, Weakest Length, Pyramid, Joe Millionaire,

0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:40.760
<v Speaker 1>Russian Lett, Test the Nation, and of course Temptation Island

0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.800
<v Speaker 1>Seasons one and season two, which is currently airing Thursday

0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:47.960
<v Speaker 1>nights on U s A at ten p m Central. Okay,

0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:49.960
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that you were a host of Weakest Link.

0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:52.040
<v Speaker 1>That wasn't I was on as a guest. But by

0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.959
<v Speaker 1>the way, what people talk about the shows you hosted,

0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 1>and they read this long list and people like, damn,

0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:58.720
<v Speaker 1>the guys had a career. All that says that's how

0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:00.439
<v Speaker 1>many shows got canceled. I was then kind of the

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:01.599
<v Speaker 1>same thing. But I don't want to say. It's like,

0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:05.080
<v Speaker 1>you want one show that lasts for twenty years, but

0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.160
<v Speaker 1>we talked about one show you did twenty years ago

0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:09.079
<v Speaker 1>that comes back twenty years later. So tell me what

0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:10.840
<v Speaker 1>by this week is linking? So you weren't the host

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:14.280
<v Speaker 1>of week. It's actually pretty cool story. So I wasn't

0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 1>the host. No, they were doing a celebrity version with

0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.680
<v Speaker 1>all TV hosts as guests, and I knew the producer.

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.320
<v Speaker 1>And I get a call like on a Tuesday saying, Hey,

0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:24.880
<v Speaker 1>we'd love for you to be on the show on Friday.

0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:27.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, who did you cancel? Who am I filling in? No?

0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:29.400
<v Speaker 1>You know you are our first choice, Like, dude, don't

0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 1>hustle a hustler. I know that I'm the fill in,

0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 1>but whatever. So I show up and it's it's me

0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.840
<v Speaker 1>and Ben Stein and Mario Lopez and Martha Quinn from

0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:41.240
<v Speaker 1>MTV and John Sally a bunch of ru Paul I

0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:43.560
<v Speaker 1>think it was on the show. I can't remember, and um,

0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.400
<v Speaker 1>and I end up winning the whole thing, but it

0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 1>goes down to the very end and um. The the morning,

0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 1>I get a I'm on the phone and my son,

0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:56.920
<v Speaker 1>who's like eight years old at the times, in the

0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 1>back seat of the car and he's like, Dad, Dad, Dad.

0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, Morgan, I'm on the phone. It's like, Dad,

0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 1>what's a million times a million? I'm like, I don't know.

0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:04.280
<v Speaker 1>He says, well, I asked my teacher. It's a trillion?

0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.040
<v Speaker 1>Is the number one? Followed by twelve zeros. I'm like, dude,

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:08.920
<v Speaker 1>I told you when I'm on the phone, you can't

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:12.120
<v Speaker 1>interrupt me. I'm doing business, and you know that whole thing.

0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.880
<v Speaker 1>Get to the final part of the show, like had

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.440
<v Speaker 1>made it to the very end, and the final question

0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:20.760
<v Speaker 1>is what's the American word for the number one? Followed

0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.320
<v Speaker 1>by twelve zero? And I literally looked at her and

0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:28.240
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to say, you gotta be shipping yeah, and

0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:29.880
<v Speaker 1>I looked like I knew that. It just like had

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:31.560
<v Speaker 1>that like, oh yeah, did you give credit to your

0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:33.760
<v Speaker 1>son on area You're like, I'm gonna take this one.

0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:35.880
<v Speaker 1>I took it, and then he said, so how much

0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.400
<v Speaker 1>do we make? I said, well, you get half of

0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:44.240
<v Speaker 1>the Karma charity that because experience. What's your favorite show

0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:48.800
<v Speaker 1>you've ever hosted? I think Temptation Island. Yeah, let me

0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:52.120
<v Speaker 1>you know. I get asked that a lot, but I

0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.760
<v Speaker 1>like doing comedy, so Russian Roulette was funny. I got to,

0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, kind of bust off people through the whole. Yeah,

0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:00.600
<v Speaker 1>it's a pretty badas show. That's was really great. I

0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:02.200
<v Speaker 1>used to kind of geek out on Game Show Network

0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:03.840
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. To be honest, I was a big

0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Lingo guy. I love a great story about Lingo. Please share.

0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:11.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how much I can incriminate myself on

0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:18.280
<v Speaker 1>this one. Well, I don't care. Yeah, many years ago, okay,

0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:21.000
<v Speaker 1>so I was doing I can't believe I'm telling this story.

0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:24.680
<v Speaker 1>Anybody who incriminates themselves always starts off saying it was

0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:28.800
<v Speaker 1>many years ago. I was young, so and it's on

0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:34.040
<v Speaker 1>YouTube too, so so I get booked too, come on

0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:37.800
<v Speaker 1>Lingo as a celebrity guest, because all the GSN game

0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:41.040
<v Speaker 1>show hosts are gonna show up and host and and

0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:44.160
<v Speaker 1>be contestants. And I'm like cool, but I didn't read

0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:46.080
<v Speaker 1>my email and I'm not really paying attention, and I

0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.760
<v Speaker 1>forgot what day it was, so I it's like a Friday,

0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:51.640
<v Speaker 1>like a holiday, and I'm on my way to the

0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:55.840
<v Speaker 1>gym and I'm, you know, already gone for the weekend,

0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.280
<v Speaker 1>all right, I'm like checked out, and I'm like irresponsibly

0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:01.720
<v Speaker 1>checked out, and I kind of gonna go to gym

0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:03.600
<v Speaker 1>and play basketball and then I'm just gonna chill. So

0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:06.720
<v Speaker 1>I may or may not having justested something that currently

0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.840
<v Speaker 1>is legal but may not have been. Then yes, so

0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.520
<v Speaker 1>I was way high, So you're fine, all right. And

0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:17.359
<v Speaker 1>then the phone rings. It says you're supposed to be

0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:21.320
<v Speaker 1>the studio now, and I get like every panic dream

0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:23.680
<v Speaker 1>from high school you've ever had, like, oh my god.

0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.919
<v Speaker 1>And now time stands still. I don't know what happened. Somehow,

0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:29.679
<v Speaker 1>I get back home and I get a suit and

0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:33.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm dressing while driving, which is kids don't do this

0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:35.480
<v Speaker 1>at home. And I I get to the studio and

0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:37.199
<v Speaker 1>I like dumped my car with a p A and

0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.359
<v Speaker 1>I run in and they dust my face with makeup,

0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.199
<v Speaker 1>and all of the executives are there and I have

0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.480
<v Speaker 1>no clue what's going on. And all the other contestants

0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:47.399
<v Speaker 1>have learned the game and watched it. I've never seen it.

0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.600
<v Speaker 1>I have no clue. It's my worst nightmare and I

0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:56.920
<v Speaker 1>am gone right now. Mark Summers is my UH partner.

0:17:57.000 --> 0:18:02.120
<v Speaker 1>And then Kennedy from Fox News Now and Graham Elwood

0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:05.160
<v Speaker 1>who really big podcast are really smart. These two are

0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:08.560
<v Speaker 1>genius smart are the other team. It's just every worst

0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:11.040
<v Speaker 1>nightmare ever. The only rules of the game I get

0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:13.840
<v Speaker 1>are the ones Chuck Wildery slurs at the beginning, right,

0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:18.240
<v Speaker 1>and again, I'm not really focused. I break the record

0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:22.399
<v Speaker 1>of the highest score ever. When you see it, and

0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:24.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, I know you're gonna google this, I'm in

0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 1>a zone. I come up with words I didn't even

0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:29.879
<v Speaker 1>know existed. Break the record. You want to know how

0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:33.520
<v Speaker 1>much Kennedy and Graham scored zero? Zero? Yeah, that's how.

0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:36.439
<v Speaker 1>It just shows you that we would do well on

0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:38.240
<v Speaker 1>that show. Like the biggest idiots are the ones that

0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:41.760
<v Speaker 1>do well in those shows. No not, You're not the

0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:43.680
<v Speaker 1>first Today to do it like someone who's high. You

0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:45.600
<v Speaker 1>has no idea what's going on, baked out of their mind,

0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:47.480
<v Speaker 1>and then they go on no idea how to play

0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:49.360
<v Speaker 1>the game, and then they break the record. I think

0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:51.679
<v Speaker 1>the takeaway might be so you never should prepare for

0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:55.400
<v Speaker 1>game show. That's the takeaway that it's not necessarily as

0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:57.360
<v Speaker 1>bad for you as people thought it back in the day.

0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:59.919
<v Speaker 1>I think takeaway probably the necessary step in getting it.

0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:02.800
<v Speaker 1>You're decriminalized and then now being legal. I've done what

0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:05.960
<v Speaker 1>I can to help America. You're a pioneer. I can't

0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:07.560
<v Speaker 1>believe I told that story and now I could just

0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:10.320
<v Speaker 1>hear the people yelling at me. I love it and

0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:13.080
<v Speaker 1>honestly like, yeah, that happens now who that carres? No,

0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:17.080
<v Speaker 1>it's legal. So so you are currently hosting Temptation Island

0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:18.840
<v Speaker 1>season two though, because last time you were here, you're

0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:20.960
<v Speaker 1>just wrapped season one. Yeah, and they didn't fire me,

0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:22.760
<v Speaker 1>so I'm back. It's fantastic And you wanted. Who I

0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:25.240
<v Speaker 1>was hanging out with actually in Croatia about a month

0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.520
<v Speaker 1>ago was Morgan and Evan. Oh, they were in Croatia.

0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:30.320
<v Speaker 1>I saw that. Now I just sit at home and

0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:32.400
<v Speaker 1>watch you guys on Instagram living the life I wish

0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:34.000
<v Speaker 1>I had. So I was with both of them there.

0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:35.960
<v Speaker 1>I never met them before, and I was like, okay,

0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:37.600
<v Speaker 1>I gotta hang out with some reality TV people here.

0:19:37.600 --> 0:19:40.160
<v Speaker 1>But they were like so nice. I love them. They

0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:44.160
<v Speaker 1>were like, he reminds me of I mean, I love Evan,

0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:47.640
<v Speaker 1>but he reminds me of that big sort of happy dog.

0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:53.159
<v Speaker 1>And she's just like the calming force that a relationship

0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:55.280
<v Speaker 1>they were. They were great. They were a good looking couple.

0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:57.040
<v Speaker 1>He was never in a bad mood. She was fantastic.

0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:58.560
<v Speaker 1>We spent like a week on a yacht together and

0:19:59.000 --> 0:20:01.000
<v Speaker 1>like I was at first, I was dreading it. Met

0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:03.000
<v Speaker 1>them and I was like, okay, we're basically best friend.

0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:06.320
<v Speaker 1>I like, yeah, that was at we can Kasia like

0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:08.000
<v Speaker 1>a couple like a month ago, two months ago, whatever

0:20:08.000 --> 0:20:11.040
<v Speaker 1>it was. When you're contestant on these shows, you get

0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:13.440
<v Speaker 1>the hookups. When you're the host of the shows, you're

0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:15.800
<v Speaker 1>hanging out in Sherman Oaks waiting for a podcast called

0:20:15.880 --> 0:20:21.359
<v Speaker 1>I don't Know Tell Chris Saras and that acast. Now

0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:25.400
<v Speaker 1>that's my rap. Get me back on lane go. So, Mark,

0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:29.920
<v Speaker 1>you've been married for over thirty years to your beautiful wife, Robbie,

0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:31.800
<v Speaker 1>what's your secret? You know? I used to have an

0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:34.240
<v Speaker 1>answer for that that I thought was really cute, and

0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:36.080
<v Speaker 1>then Robbie's like, why don't you just tell the truth,

0:20:36.920 --> 0:20:39.119
<v Speaker 1>and um, So there are a lot of secrets, but

0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:41.000
<v Speaker 1>she says, well, the biggest secret is that we love

0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:44.119
<v Speaker 1>each other. Like that's it. I kind of love her,

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:46.600
<v Speaker 1>she kind of loves me, and that's why we stay together. Yeah,

0:20:46.640 --> 0:20:48.440
<v Speaker 1>but I feel like a lot of people say love

0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:51.160
<v Speaker 1>might not be enough to well, that's the marriage last

0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.000
<v Speaker 1>really great segue into the answer I normally give is

0:20:54.040 --> 0:20:56.919
<v Speaker 1>really true for me, and it's not romantic. Look, I

0:20:56.960 --> 0:20:59.720
<v Speaker 1>love my wife. I think she's hot, she's beautiful, she's

0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:03.720
<v Speaker 1>she is to bomb. But love lust like or fluid,

0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:07.960
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't. It's not an everyday thing, right, And that's

0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:09.960
<v Speaker 1>where people get trapped. I think people are like, it's

0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:11.640
<v Speaker 1>all hot and great. Now it's not so hot and great.

0:21:11.800 --> 0:21:15.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm out. Life has a way of teaching you lessons

0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.760
<v Speaker 1>when you live long enough, so something happens you like

0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:21.040
<v Speaker 1>God forbid, you go to the doctor and you're you're

0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:22.720
<v Speaker 1>like waiting for three days to find out if you're

0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:26.000
<v Speaker 1>gonna live or die, like some some diagnosis or you know,

0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:28.600
<v Speaker 1>there's all or you go bankrupt, or you know, ship

0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:32.840
<v Speaker 1>hits the fan. In those moments, you go to the

0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:36.679
<v Speaker 1>only place where there's comfort. Right. And for me, early

0:21:36.720 --> 0:21:39.800
<v Speaker 1>in my career, when I was in trouble, right, there

0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:44.119
<v Speaker 1>were things going on and I got really anxious, really bad.

0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:48.480
<v Speaker 1>That's that was the good days before I discover that

0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:51.720
<v Speaker 1>when you're really in trouble, there's only one person that

0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:54.119
<v Speaker 1>gives you comfort. And so when I learned that, I'm like,

0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:56.720
<v Speaker 1>whether I like her or lover or lust for her, today,

0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:58.600
<v Speaker 1>I need her every day, like I don't know how

0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:01.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get through it without her. So when you

0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:03.960
<v Speaker 1>kind of get that you're kind of screwed without her,

0:22:04.320 --> 0:22:06.520
<v Speaker 1>then you have to look past those things that break

0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:09.679
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people up. Really early in our I

0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:12.840
<v Speaker 1>got married at twenty four, you know, before my birthday,

0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:15.159
<v Speaker 1>so really early. And and the other thing is I

0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:17.680
<v Speaker 1>got married with nothing right, I didn't have a job.

0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:19.080
<v Speaker 1>I was about to ask, when did your career take

0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:23.680
<v Speaker 1>off age wise? Like still waiting on the first round

0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:27.800
<v Speaker 1>of success started happening, maybe around when I was thirty.

0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:30.879
<v Speaker 1>I got in the business like a twenty five. I

0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:33.240
<v Speaker 1>started as a runner, like bringing coffee to people and stuff.

0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:35.199
<v Speaker 1>Because we talked about this last week on our podcast

0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:37.760
<v Speaker 1>about how Hugh Jackman similar to his wife and they

0:22:37.800 --> 0:22:39.800
<v Speaker 1>have such a good foundation of love because they were

0:22:39.840 --> 0:22:43.520
<v Speaker 1>married before his career as well. Now there's another level,

0:22:43.960 --> 0:22:47.399
<v Speaker 1>so that that's right. So the other thing that works

0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.040
<v Speaker 1>in our favors that we were dumb enough to get

0:22:49.040 --> 0:22:50.760
<v Speaker 1>married when we didn't have anything. When I met her,

0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:53.119
<v Speaker 1>she had a fork, a plate, So I was an

0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:55.080
<v Speaker 1>upgrade for her. I could get her a whole place

0:22:55.119 --> 0:22:59.920
<v Speaker 1>setting like two people can can get your napkins I need.

0:23:00.400 --> 0:23:02.880
<v Speaker 1>That's right, even like maybe you know a gravy boat,

0:23:03.119 --> 0:23:05.000
<v Speaker 1>and that's in our opinion, if you're lucky, I'll get

0:23:05.040 --> 0:23:09.600
<v Speaker 1>you that's right. But then that's not romantic. So anyway,

0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:13.280
<v Speaker 1>we got married with nothing. So everything that I have,

0:23:13.560 --> 0:23:16.480
<v Speaker 1>we have. There's not a heart stuff and my stuff thing.

0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:18.920
<v Speaker 1>There's not a get my ship together before I get

0:23:18.920 --> 0:23:21.160
<v Speaker 1>married things. So when you think back, the old days

0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:24.640
<v Speaker 1>are like prearranged marriages and stuff like that. While from

0:23:24.640 --> 0:23:28.639
<v Speaker 1>a sexist standpoint and a evolved in woke standpoint, I

0:23:28.640 --> 0:23:30.639
<v Speaker 1>don't I'm not down for the pre arranged marriage, but

0:23:30.680 --> 0:23:33.639
<v Speaker 1>there was a method to that madness. If you're virgins

0:23:33.640 --> 0:23:35.360
<v Speaker 1>when you got married, this is the best sex you've

0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:38.000
<v Speaker 1>ever had. If you have nothing, when you get married,

0:23:38.040 --> 0:23:40.919
<v Speaker 1>you build a life together and that becomes what love is.

0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:44.440
<v Speaker 1>Love is, you know, often not romantic. The romantic stuff

0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:47.439
<v Speaker 1>is awesome. But the reason we partner with somebody is

0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:51.160
<v Speaker 1>to survive it, to get through the winter with somebody

0:23:51.200 --> 0:23:54.560
<v Speaker 1>that we trust, who's got our back, relationship that hopefully

0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:57.600
<v Speaker 1>you grow into a tenderness. Yeah. You go through love

0:23:57.640 --> 0:24:00.000
<v Speaker 1>and you you go through life, and you need a team.

0:24:00.640 --> 0:24:02.399
<v Speaker 1>Life is difficult enough going through it alone. And I

0:24:02.400 --> 0:24:04.560
<v Speaker 1>think that's why a lot of people get married, because

0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:06.200
<v Speaker 1>you want a teammate to go through it because there's

0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:09.919
<v Speaker 1>going to be a lot of struggles ahead and to

0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 1>share the successes with. Did it ever become challenging once

0:24:12.800 --> 0:24:14.800
<v Speaker 1>you started seeing the successes, you become this, you know,

0:24:14.840 --> 0:24:18.520
<v Speaker 1>international man of mystery. Yeah, you know. Luckily my wife

0:24:18.840 --> 0:24:22.639
<v Speaker 1>was a uh success in show business, but as a child,

0:24:22.760 --> 0:24:25.400
<v Speaker 1>so she knew the game. So that was a huge part.

0:24:25.480 --> 0:24:28.280
<v Speaker 1>Is that if I had married a civilian, somebody out

0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:32.320
<v Speaker 1>of the business, it would be hard to justify choices

0:24:32.400 --> 0:24:37.480
<v Speaker 1>we make of life because show businesses, show business, show business. Baby. Yeah,

0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:39.800
<v Speaker 1>that's right, baby, What do you mean by that? I mean,

0:24:40.280 --> 0:24:42.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, like having to be ready at a beck

0:24:42.200 --> 0:24:45.160
<v Speaker 1>and call. She gets show business from a cellular level

0:24:45.280 --> 0:24:49.159
<v Speaker 1>from her life, right, So like for us, if something

0:24:49.240 --> 0:24:51.399
<v Speaker 1>really bad happens and we have a show to do,

0:24:52.200 --> 0:24:54.399
<v Speaker 1>Like for us, you do the show and then you

0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:58.440
<v Speaker 1>show up the hospital like I I had a kidney

0:24:58.440 --> 0:25:01.720
<v Speaker 1>stone and did a show in front of two thousand people,

0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:04.280
<v Speaker 1>finished the show into the hospital. That's just how we roll.

0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:06.879
<v Speaker 1>That's just and it doesn't make sense. It's it's an

0:25:06.920 --> 0:25:10.720
<v Speaker 1>old school vibe. But because she understands this game, she

0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:14.120
<v Speaker 1>understands when press says this or shows get canceled. Look,

0:25:14.200 --> 0:25:16.080
<v Speaker 1>she's a wife who's willing to ride with a guy

0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:20.400
<v Speaker 1>who's long term commitments are thirteen weeks at a time,

0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:23.359
<v Speaker 1>with great gaps of years in between, where we're like,

0:25:23.400 --> 0:25:27.879
<v Speaker 1>oh shit. So to look in the most people in

0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:31.760
<v Speaker 1>a marriage, when it really hits the fan, you're broken.

0:25:31.800 --> 0:25:35.840
<v Speaker 1>There's no hope for the future. They're out. My wife

0:25:35.880 --> 0:25:38.399
<v Speaker 1>is like, I've seen it this show business. She's down.

0:25:38.560 --> 0:25:40.159
<v Speaker 1>So we put more water in the soup and we

0:25:40.240 --> 0:25:42.359
<v Speaker 1>yell at each other in the kitchen and go, shoot,

0:25:42.400 --> 0:25:44.080
<v Speaker 1>what are we gonna do? And then God provides and

0:25:44.119 --> 0:25:46.120
<v Speaker 1>we're all good. So now we're kind of and that's

0:25:46.160 --> 0:25:48.040
<v Speaker 1>why some of the stuff on Temptation Island is from

0:25:48.119 --> 0:25:51.000
<v Speaker 1>life experience. I gotta tweet today saying are you a therapist?

0:25:51.040 --> 0:25:52.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, no, I'm a game show host, dude. But

0:25:52.680 --> 0:25:54.760
<v Speaker 1>I've been on the planet, you know, and I've got

0:25:54.760 --> 0:25:57.439
<v Speaker 1>some scars and I've learned some stuff, and you know,

0:25:57.480 --> 0:26:01.840
<v Speaker 1>it just gets really down to you know, authenticity, trust

0:26:01.880 --> 0:26:04.720
<v Speaker 1>and something bigger than you. Everything's gonna work out the

0:26:04.720 --> 0:26:07.520
<v Speaker 1>way it is. Worrying about it today doesn't fix it tomorrow.

0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:11.000
<v Speaker 1>And just you know, find somebody that you know, I

0:26:11.000 --> 0:26:14.119
<v Speaker 1>always tell people you're always saying, yeah she's great, but

0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:16.919
<v Speaker 1>she's crazy. Well yeah, we're all crazy. Just find the crazy,

0:26:16.960 --> 0:26:19.720
<v Speaker 1>you dick. You know. Well, So while you were, you

0:26:19.720 --> 0:26:22.040
<v Speaker 1>were on the subject a little bit about Temptation Island

0:26:22.040 --> 0:26:23.720
<v Speaker 1>Season to tell us about this one? What is it?

0:26:23.880 --> 0:26:25.760
<v Speaker 1>How is it different in season one? What are you

0:26:25.880 --> 0:26:28.159
<v Speaker 1>excited about? Because it's not it hasn't aired yet's wrapped

0:26:28.200 --> 0:26:31.840
<v Speaker 1>filming just wrapped and see episode one aired last Thursday

0:26:32.280 --> 0:26:34.399
<v Speaker 1>episode with Thursday's at ten okay, got you? So I

0:26:34.400 --> 0:26:36.320
<v Speaker 1>missed the first I missed the premier episode of season two.

0:26:36.400 --> 0:26:38.359
<v Speaker 1>All right, the ratings of dip because that's all right,

0:26:38.400 --> 0:26:40.360
<v Speaker 1>it's only my career. If you're listening to this episode

0:26:40.359 --> 0:26:43.359
<v Speaker 1>of Help, I Suck you dating, tune into Temptation Island

0:26:43.440 --> 0:26:48.200
<v Speaker 1>season two on Thursdays on USA Networks. Do you know

0:26:48.280 --> 0:26:50.680
<v Speaker 1>how many likes on your Instagram come from me? You

0:26:50.760 --> 0:26:53.439
<v Speaker 1>know how much I've done to support you? Everything I

0:26:53.480 --> 0:26:56.480
<v Speaker 1>just said about Bravo get the hell out of here occasionally,

0:26:56.520 --> 0:27:00.240
<v Speaker 1>but no USA Network and Temptation Island season two. We're

0:27:00.240 --> 0:27:04.760
<v Speaker 1>two episodes. And by the way, one of the things

0:27:04.800 --> 0:27:06.359
<v Speaker 1>I love about the show is I never see it.

0:27:06.600 --> 0:27:09.159
<v Speaker 1>I shoot it, and then everybody else seems to get

0:27:09.160 --> 0:27:11.280
<v Speaker 1>advanced copies of the episodes, but me, so I'm like

0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:13.280
<v Speaker 1>watching them on the air. I don't know where we

0:27:13.280 --> 0:27:15.840
<v Speaker 1>are in the story, but and it's awesome because my

0:27:16.520 --> 0:27:18.320
<v Speaker 1>as the host, I see them at the bomfire, like

0:27:18.320 --> 0:27:21.200
<v Speaker 1>what you see the bonfire is legit. It's very loose,

0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:23.399
<v Speaker 1>no script. We're kind of feeling our way through that

0:27:23.440 --> 0:27:27.959
<v Speaker 1>and I'm kind of really feeling them. And then whenever

0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:29.920
<v Speaker 1>you see me see them is when I see them

0:27:29.960 --> 0:27:31.719
<v Speaker 1>the rest of the stuff I'm discovering on the air,

0:27:32.480 --> 0:27:35.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, watching it with the viewers, and I'm like, damn,

0:27:35.720 --> 0:27:37.680
<v Speaker 1>I had no idea that that was going on when

0:27:37.720 --> 0:27:40.080
<v Speaker 1>I was talking to them about this, and I wonder

0:27:40.119 --> 0:27:42.240
<v Speaker 1>if it would have changed my game. But really, you're

0:27:42.240 --> 0:27:45.440
<v Speaker 1>not informed about anything that's real. Bit so figured you

0:27:45.440 --> 0:27:47.439
<v Speaker 1>would have to be just so things that you didn't

0:27:47.480 --> 0:27:50.000
<v Speaker 1>see in person you can be aware of when you're

0:27:50.000 --> 0:27:52.280
<v Speaker 1>talking to them whenever you talk to them, right, So

0:27:52.800 --> 0:27:55.920
<v Speaker 1>there is some of that. So the way that goes

0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:58.680
<v Speaker 1>down is like on a bomb fire night, I'll get

0:27:58.680 --> 0:28:02.240
<v Speaker 1>there and it's kind of great because where the bonfire

0:28:02.359 --> 0:28:05.240
<v Speaker 1>was set up there was a sort of an outdoor

0:28:05.320 --> 0:28:07.920
<v Speaker 1>lani patio thing why, and we would sit there. You

0:28:07.920 --> 0:28:09.720
<v Speaker 1>can't do anything til the sun goes down. So the

0:28:09.760 --> 0:28:13.480
<v Speaker 1>crew setting up and I'm sitting kind of with um

0:28:13.600 --> 0:28:16.280
<v Speaker 1>my wardrobes, tylist and my makeup artist and the writer

0:28:16.520 --> 0:28:19.080
<v Speaker 1>who become my best friends because we hang out together,

0:28:19.720 --> 0:28:22.360
<v Speaker 1>and the sun setting and it's just you just kind

0:28:22.359 --> 0:28:25.320
<v Speaker 1>of get into that Hawaii Maui chill, which is perfect

0:28:25.520 --> 0:28:27.720
<v Speaker 1>to kind of vibe get yourself ready for what's going

0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:29.879
<v Speaker 1>to be the night, and then the executive producer, one

0:28:29.920 --> 0:28:31.679
<v Speaker 1>of the executive producers that come down and we'll just

0:28:31.760 --> 0:28:34.960
<v Speaker 1>basically talk about where people are. You know, where are

0:28:35.040 --> 0:28:38.920
<v Speaker 1>they and what triggers are coming for them? Where are

0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:42.280
<v Speaker 1>they triggered? What what's the meat? And then I don't

0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:44.400
<v Speaker 1>look at the clips because I when I say to them,

0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:45.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what's in the clip. I want to

0:28:45.600 --> 0:28:47.760
<v Speaker 1>be honest about that. And then we kind of just

0:28:48.040 --> 0:28:50.440
<v Speaker 1>sort of game plan where we think they are. But

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:53.400
<v Speaker 1>then when we get into the bonfire, I have an earpiece,

0:28:53.440 --> 0:28:55.560
<v Speaker 1>so if there's something I missed, they're gonna fill me in.

0:28:55.600 --> 0:28:58.440
<v Speaker 1>But I don't have cars. There's there's nothing, man, We're

0:28:58.480 --> 0:29:01.200
<v Speaker 1>just literally vibe in it out like you see it

0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:04.120
<v Speaker 1>much longer than you see it. What what what do

0:29:04.160 --> 0:29:06.160
<v Speaker 1>you do to fill the days? Like say you're waiting

0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:07.760
<v Speaker 1>for the bonfire to come at night? Like do you

0:29:07.800 --> 0:29:10.360
<v Speaker 1>go play golf? What does your day look like while

0:29:10.360 --> 0:29:15.240
<v Speaker 1>you're not working in Hawaii? Um? Pretty awesome. It looks

0:29:15.280 --> 0:29:20.160
<v Speaker 1>like your Instagram. The surfing. I took up surfing this time.

0:29:20.160 --> 0:29:22.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty bad at it. But just paddling around out

0:29:22.400 --> 0:29:27.680
<v Speaker 1>there getting hammered into the reef is character building. But

0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:30.720
<v Speaker 1>you know, so that became a thing I would do

0:29:30.800 --> 0:29:32.600
<v Speaker 1>as often as I could for an hour. So I

0:29:32.600 --> 0:29:34.640
<v Speaker 1>can't really stay in the water that longer, get too tired.

0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:38.640
<v Speaker 1>But um, I'm m go surfing. We might go for

0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:42.440
<v Speaker 1>a snorkele. We might, you know, Um, I played around

0:29:42.440 --> 0:29:45.000
<v Speaker 1>a golf or two. But um, a little bit of

0:29:45.000 --> 0:29:47.560
<v Speaker 1>a time stuck for me and I and it's sort

0:29:47.600 --> 0:29:50.560
<v Speaker 1>of not sure if I'm gonna get called in. And

0:29:50.760 --> 0:29:52.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, We've got our haunts we like to go to.

0:29:52.520 --> 0:29:55.440
<v Speaker 1>And my wife and I your what, Yeah, I brought

0:29:55.440 --> 0:29:58.040
<v Speaker 1>my wife the home. No, not your wife haunts. Haunts.

0:29:58.080 --> 0:30:00.760
<v Speaker 1>We like to go those restaurants and stuff. Okay, little

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:03.320
<v Speaker 1>did you go to Mama Mama's fish Mama's fish house? Yeah,

0:30:03.320 --> 0:30:04.840
<v Speaker 1>I went to Mama's fish Houses on the other side

0:30:04.840 --> 0:30:07.520
<v Speaker 1>of the island, so and it's delicious, But to get

0:30:07.520 --> 0:30:10.040
<v Speaker 1>a reservations deep on my side of the island. The

0:30:10.120 --> 0:30:13.320
<v Speaker 1>places I go to our Star Noodles, which you can't

0:30:13.320 --> 0:30:16.040
<v Speaker 1>get into but it's I should have texted you when

0:30:16.040 --> 0:30:18.560
<v Speaker 1>I was there a week ago. Star Noodles right there

0:30:18.560 --> 0:30:21.320
<v Speaker 1>in kind of poly We go to Paia Fish Market

0:30:21.360 --> 0:30:24.000
<v Speaker 1>all the time. Now there's one in Paia. We love Paia,

0:30:24.720 --> 0:30:27.400
<v Speaker 1>uh that town, but there's one in Lhina. So we

0:30:27.440 --> 0:30:30.800
<v Speaker 1>go there a lot and um, there's the one of reeves.

0:30:30.840 --> 0:30:33.440
<v Speaker 1>I think, uh it's down on the south part of

0:30:33.440 --> 0:30:35.840
<v Speaker 1>the island. It's uh they said, like the best banana

0:30:35.840 --> 0:30:37.760
<v Speaker 1>cream pie on the island. I can't remember name it,

0:30:37.800 --> 0:30:40.120
<v Speaker 1>but pretty good too. Yeah. And we we go to

0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:42.760
<v Speaker 1>Monkey Pod and Hula Grill, just the tourist spots and

0:30:42.880 --> 0:30:44.560
<v Speaker 1>just and we go into to the bar because you

0:30:44.560 --> 0:30:47.040
<v Speaker 1>can't get a table and you know, get our make

0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:51.560
<v Speaker 1>sandwich and did your wife come with you? Season one? Yeah? Okay, cool. Yeah.

0:30:51.960 --> 0:30:53.760
<v Speaker 1>At this point in my career, I normally would say,

0:30:54.040 --> 0:30:56.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, I used to say I don't want family

0:30:56.800 --> 0:30:58.680
<v Speaker 1>to come with me because I'm trying to focus, right,

0:30:58.880 --> 0:31:01.480
<v Speaker 1>And it was legit. We get distracted, even if even

0:31:01.520 --> 0:31:04.040
<v Speaker 1>if they're handling themselves, I'm always wondering, are they cool?

0:31:04.120 --> 0:31:05.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, the kids are did you get them on

0:31:05.840 --> 0:31:08.320
<v Speaker 1>the boat or what's going on now the kids are grown?

0:31:08.840 --> 0:31:12.400
<v Speaker 1>And I said, if I don't have a doubt by

0:31:12.400 --> 0:31:14.840
<v Speaker 1>this point in my career, this focus thing that's kind

0:31:14.840 --> 0:31:17.000
<v Speaker 1>of bullet at this point, and how do I deny

0:31:17.080 --> 0:31:19.800
<v Speaker 1>you thirty five days vacation and Maui and it turned

0:31:19.840 --> 0:31:23.720
<v Speaker 1>out great because actually she's so chill. So she finds

0:31:23.720 --> 0:31:26.600
<v Speaker 1>a life of her own and we hook up and

0:31:26.640 --> 0:31:28.440
<v Speaker 1>have dinner together and we hang out when I can.

0:31:28.960 --> 0:31:31.840
<v Speaker 1>But Bonfire night she likes to come and watch because

0:31:31.880 --> 0:31:35.800
<v Speaker 1>they're deep. And for me, it's really great because in

0:31:35.840 --> 0:31:38.000
<v Speaker 1>between the bonfires and before I can kind of check

0:31:38.040 --> 0:31:40.320
<v Speaker 1>with her in the shorthand language that we have and said,

0:31:40.320 --> 0:31:42.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, was that authentic or am I being real?

0:31:42.240 --> 0:31:44.720
<v Speaker 1>Or did I get played? Or you know what did

0:31:44.760 --> 0:31:47.240
<v Speaker 1>I miss? And she'll bring it. You know, you were awesome,

0:31:47.320 --> 0:31:50.080
<v Speaker 1>You don't don't regret having said that, And that was rough,

0:31:50.160 --> 0:31:53.000
<v Speaker 1>but maybe you should think about this. And I mean,

0:31:53.000 --> 0:31:55.400
<v Speaker 1>she's not back, she producing, but she's my sounding board

0:31:55.440 --> 0:31:57.280
<v Speaker 1>and she knows me better than anybody else. It's nice

0:31:57.280 --> 0:31:59.440
<v Speaker 1>to have an objective opinion. We're gonna take a quick

0:31:59.440 --> 0:32:02.120
<v Speaker 1>commercial Rake when we get back. We're gonna answer some

0:32:02.400 --> 0:32:14.240
<v Speaker 1>listener emails. All right, we're back. We're gonna dive in

0:32:14.240 --> 0:32:15.800
<v Speaker 1>some questions. Mark, you're gonna help us answer some of

0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:17.880
<v Speaker 1>these for our listeners out there. They're struggling, they need

0:32:17.920 --> 0:32:20.120
<v Speaker 1>some dating advice. Who the hell doesn't. We got a

0:32:20.240 --> 0:32:23.080
<v Speaker 1>two married men, one man in a relationship. Maybe we

0:32:23.120 --> 0:32:25.400
<v Speaker 1>can give them a little bit of advice. I want

0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:27.920
<v Speaker 1>we're all in this together, kids. I wanted to Jessica

0:32:28.000 --> 0:32:31.560
<v Speaker 1>Haber's question first and foremost because it's the juiciest. She asks,

0:32:32.080 --> 0:32:34.160
<v Speaker 1>how about porn? Is it okay for men to watch

0:32:34.160 --> 0:32:37.240
<v Speaker 1>while in a relationship? How about women? Jared Mark, what

0:32:37.280 --> 0:32:40.200
<v Speaker 1>are your thoughts? You want to take this? I got it.

0:32:40.280 --> 0:32:42.520
<v Speaker 1>You can take it. Uh, you go first, and then

0:32:42.520 --> 0:32:45.120
<v Speaker 1>I'll bounce off your answer. Hey, anything you do in

0:32:45.200 --> 0:32:47.800
<v Speaker 1>secret that your that your spouse doesn't know about is

0:32:47.800 --> 0:32:50.520
<v Speaker 1>technically under the guise of a slippery slope of cheating.

0:32:51.000 --> 0:32:54.880
<v Speaker 1>So porn is a slippery slope if it becomes your

0:32:54.880 --> 0:32:58.440
<v Speaker 1>preoccupation and your secret is going to mess up your relationship.

0:32:59.120 --> 0:33:02.800
<v Speaker 1>If it's a marital aid and a fun and healthy

0:33:02.880 --> 0:33:07.200
<v Speaker 1>diversion that you're sharing with your girl, maybe not sharing

0:33:07.240 --> 0:33:09.640
<v Speaker 1>watching together, but letting her know that you're down, and

0:33:09.680 --> 0:33:12.520
<v Speaker 1>that's what you're doing. You know, I'm not such a

0:33:12.560 --> 0:33:15.440
<v Speaker 1>proude that I can't see that that might be great,

0:33:16.080 --> 0:33:19.000
<v Speaker 1>but it's the locking yourself in the den. And don't

0:33:19.000 --> 0:33:23.480
<v Speaker 1>you think porn is kind of like inherently private. Though well, yeah,

0:33:24.120 --> 0:33:26.600
<v Speaker 1>I would say sex is inherently I think it's also different,

0:33:26.600 --> 0:33:29.600
<v Speaker 1>if I'm being honest, just because you are a little

0:33:29.600 --> 0:33:31.280
<v Speaker 1>bit older than us. And I think porn has really

0:33:31.360 --> 0:33:34.280
<v Speaker 1>changed within the past ten to fifteen years, where I

0:33:34.320 --> 0:33:36.960
<v Speaker 1>think now a lot of guys and girls growing up

0:33:37.960 --> 0:33:40.000
<v Speaker 1>are watching porn at a very young age and just

0:33:40.040 --> 0:33:43.360
<v Speaker 1>adapted into their lifestyle where I think even when it again,

0:33:43.400 --> 0:33:45.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm not speaking for myself. I don't want people to

0:33:45.120 --> 0:33:47.080
<v Speaker 1>be like, well, Jared watch his porn every day, don't

0:33:47.640 --> 0:33:49.840
<v Speaker 1>But I'm not like a porn watching weed smoker over here.

0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:52.080
<v Speaker 1>That's not I can honestly say I have not watched

0:33:52.080 --> 0:33:55.120
<v Speaker 1>porn since I've been married, but I did. I mean, like,

0:33:55.200 --> 0:33:56.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna say I didn't watch once or twice

0:33:56.920 --> 0:33:59.160
<v Speaker 1>when I was engaged for a year and a half.

0:33:59.720 --> 0:34:03.080
<v Speaker 1>But that's an honest answer. I also, I just want

0:34:03.120 --> 0:34:05.160
<v Speaker 1>to be clear. I just I think it is really

0:34:05.160 --> 0:34:08.320
<v Speaker 1>different because you know, porn now you can just google

0:34:08.400 --> 0:34:11.120
<v Speaker 1>anything and you can get and you can see anything

0:34:11.200 --> 0:34:14.520
<v Speaker 1>on the Internet. And I think especially nowadays, you know,

0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:19.040
<v Speaker 1>especially a little like kids guys are watching porn at

0:34:19.080 --> 0:34:21.960
<v Speaker 1>like twelve years old. Well, now you're talking about two

0:34:21.960 --> 0:34:24.080
<v Speaker 1>different things, So I don't know if I am well.

0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:27.600
<v Speaker 1>Because my point is, once a kid grows up with

0:34:27.680 --> 0:34:29.480
<v Speaker 1>porn in their life and they get into a relationship,

0:34:29.520 --> 0:34:31.520
<v Speaker 1>I think they don't see it as cheating because it's

0:34:31.560 --> 0:34:33.919
<v Speaker 1>kind of adapted into their normal lifestyle. What I meant

0:34:33.920 --> 0:34:37.120
<v Speaker 1>by two different things is there's two two effects of

0:34:37.320 --> 0:34:41.200
<v Speaker 1>horn uh at different times in your life. So, for instance,

0:34:41.760 --> 0:34:47.960
<v Speaker 1>when I discovered some relatively uh saucy websites on one

0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:51.080
<v Speaker 1>of my my son's early early life, you know, I

0:34:51.120 --> 0:34:53.239
<v Speaker 1>had to talk with him saying, Okay, dude, there's no

0:34:53.280 --> 0:34:57.359
<v Speaker 1>way I'm gonna block your Internet because that's ridiculous. You're

0:34:57.360 --> 0:34:59.359
<v Speaker 1>gonna find your way around it. You guys are far

0:34:59.400 --> 0:35:02.520
<v Speaker 1>better hackers than I could ever block. And it's here

0:35:02.600 --> 0:35:05.200
<v Speaker 1>everywhere you look. You can barely search for something on

0:35:05.239 --> 0:35:08.680
<v Speaker 1>Amazon without is showing up with you know, porn. But

0:35:09.040 --> 0:35:12.920
<v Speaker 1>what you're looking at is actors. And this isn't indicative

0:35:12.960 --> 0:35:15.440
<v Speaker 1>of what an actual love relationship looks like. That's not

0:35:15.480 --> 0:35:19.200
<v Speaker 1>what making love looks like, except maybe on Valentine's Day,

0:35:19.520 --> 0:35:22.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, if if you play cards right. But but

0:35:22.880 --> 0:35:25.319
<v Speaker 1>so don't look at this as an imprint of how

0:35:25.920 --> 0:35:30.480
<v Speaker 1>we treat the women that we love. UM. But so

0:35:30.480 --> 0:35:32.120
<v Speaker 1>you actually sat your son down and had a conversation

0:35:32.120 --> 0:35:34.440
<v Speaker 1>with him about this for sure, and my daughter, I've

0:35:34.440 --> 0:35:36.719
<v Speaker 1>talked to both of them about all this stuff. We look.

0:35:36.840 --> 0:35:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Here's the thing is a parent, the awkward stuff. You

0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:42.400
<v Speaker 1>have to just lean into the awkward, you know, be

0:35:42.560 --> 0:35:46.680
<v Speaker 1>Eugene Levy in Um American Pie, just the worst dad

0:35:46.719 --> 0:35:49.000
<v Speaker 1>as far as broaching the subject. But the only thing

0:35:49.200 --> 0:35:52.160
<v Speaker 1>that the kid sees, and that is my dad cares.

0:35:52.440 --> 0:35:55.080
<v Speaker 1>He's a loser, but my dad cares, and he's making

0:35:55.080 --> 0:35:57.200
<v Speaker 1>it okay to talk. He's like normalized talking about into

0:35:57.239 --> 0:35:59.560
<v Speaker 1>the relationship in porn, which is more what Jared's talking

0:35:59.600 --> 0:36:06.600
<v Speaker 1>about is if your intimacy is isolating you from your lover,

0:36:07.200 --> 0:36:11.520
<v Speaker 1>then porn is bad. And if it's a private thing,

0:36:11.520 --> 0:36:14.879
<v Speaker 1>and it is inherently private, like you said, but if

0:36:15.640 --> 0:36:19.120
<v Speaker 1>if you're keeping it a secret, that's never gonna be good.

0:36:19.520 --> 0:36:22.640
<v Speaker 1>So if you like it, if that's your thing, then

0:36:22.680 --> 0:36:24.399
<v Speaker 1>you need to tell your girl and bring her in

0:36:24.480 --> 0:36:26.480
<v Speaker 1>with you and see if she's gonna watch with you.

0:36:26.520 --> 0:36:27.879
<v Speaker 1>And then you guys can be like one of those

0:36:27.880 --> 0:36:30.239
<v Speaker 1>couples you read about that's like crazy and you know,

0:36:30.440 --> 0:36:33.640
<v Speaker 1>you never know what's going on back there, but um,

0:36:33.719 --> 0:36:35.759
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't know that it's terrible, But it's

0:36:35.800 --> 0:36:38.239
<v Speaker 1>the secret that's the terrible part. No, I agree, And

0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:41.279
<v Speaker 1>it's probably also the level at which how much you're

0:36:41.320 --> 0:36:43.959
<v Speaker 1>watching it, because if it's if if you'd rather watch

0:36:43.960 --> 0:36:45.600
<v Speaker 1>porn than have sex with your wife, that's going to

0:36:45.640 --> 0:36:47.800
<v Speaker 1>be a big issue. But I agree with you, and

0:36:47.840 --> 0:36:50.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm really glad that you sat down and talked to

0:36:50.480 --> 0:36:52.920
<v Speaker 1>your son about this because I think a lot of

0:36:52.920 --> 0:36:57.440
<v Speaker 1>times when kids watch porn, or teenagers or even adults,

0:36:58.239 --> 0:37:00.479
<v Speaker 1>like you said, you're seeing two actors, but they don't

0:37:00.560 --> 0:37:03.560
<v Speaker 1>know that. And I think, especially nowadays, we should be

0:37:03.560 --> 0:37:06.920
<v Speaker 1>having more conversations about relationships between men women, men and

0:37:06.960 --> 0:37:09.359
<v Speaker 1>men women and women, about how they treat each other,

0:37:09.719 --> 0:37:14.359
<v Speaker 1>what's consensual, what is right, And I think at you

0:37:14.400 --> 0:37:17.279
<v Speaker 1>have to really not begin with porn, but it has

0:37:17.320 --> 0:37:19.799
<v Speaker 1>to be early on in the conversation because a lot

0:37:19.840 --> 0:37:24.319
<v Speaker 1>of these young specifically young men, are watching porn and

0:37:24.440 --> 0:37:28.400
<v Speaker 1>thinking that that's how women want to be treated, like

0:37:28.600 --> 0:37:31.640
<v Speaker 1>to be dominated for sure. And one of the things

0:37:31.680 --> 0:37:35.000
<v Speaker 1>that I joked about it was a comedy bits I said,

0:37:35.000 --> 0:37:40.719
<v Speaker 1>when I was a teenager, you could, you know, get

0:37:40.800 --> 0:37:44.000
<v Speaker 1>laid easy because there was there wasn't a whole lot

0:37:44.040 --> 0:37:46.120
<v Speaker 1>of stigma, there wasn't a whole lot of disease to

0:37:46.160 --> 0:37:50.200
<v Speaker 1>worry about, and but it was gonna be pretty basic.

0:37:51.040 --> 0:37:55.200
<v Speaker 1>Right now, you have a generation who's grown up on hardcore,

0:37:55.480 --> 0:37:58.960
<v Speaker 1>extreme porn. There are things on the menu that were

0:37:59.360 --> 0:38:02.680
<v Speaker 1>never the menu. But it's harder to close, I guess

0:38:02.719 --> 0:38:05.600
<v Speaker 1>for these people because of all the things going on

0:38:05.640 --> 0:38:09.520
<v Speaker 1>socially and everything, but the Internet and porn and everything,

0:38:09.520 --> 0:38:16.000
<v Speaker 1>this whole generation has now become numb too. How outrageous

0:38:16.719 --> 0:38:20.160
<v Speaker 1>these sex acts are. And in a loving relationship when

0:38:20.160 --> 0:38:23.920
<v Speaker 1>you're pleasing one another, these are not really good mirrors

0:38:23.960 --> 0:38:26.840
<v Speaker 1>of how that's supposed to really be. No, you're absolutely right.

0:38:26.880 --> 0:38:28.279
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's great to have the freedom to go

0:38:28.360 --> 0:38:30.640
<v Speaker 1>there and and and be vulnerable with the person that

0:38:30.680 --> 0:38:33.279
<v Speaker 1>you love and and whatever you're into. You're into, and

0:38:33.320 --> 0:38:35.719
<v Speaker 1>it's all good as long as consensual. But what you said,

0:38:35.800 --> 0:38:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Jarry is true. You've got to learn what is actually

0:38:38.640 --> 0:38:43.200
<v Speaker 1>consensual because those women are signing waivers saying I'm you know,

0:38:43.719 --> 0:38:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna film a porn scene. I'm saying yes to

0:38:46.239 --> 0:38:48.880
<v Speaker 1>every act when you're in real life, that woman is

0:38:48.880 --> 0:38:51.160
<v Speaker 1>not saying yes to every act. If you think, oh,

0:38:51.160 --> 0:38:53.880
<v Speaker 1>she she wants me to throw up against the wall.

0:38:54.239 --> 0:38:57.760
<v Speaker 1>But it's especially in today's world, you have to find

0:38:57.800 --> 0:39:03.160
<v Speaker 1>that balance because that could be really taken in a

0:39:03.239 --> 0:39:08.240
<v Speaker 1>bad direction. Not only not only that, but young guys

0:39:09.160 --> 0:39:13.840
<v Speaker 1>have to realize that she wants it, she seemed to

0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:17.280
<v Speaker 1>want it. That's the danger zone. And unfortunately, as sterile

0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:21.400
<v Speaker 1>as it sounds, you gotta verbalize, hey, are you cool

0:39:21.440 --> 0:39:24.360
<v Speaker 1>with this? Is this consensual? Are we good? You gotta

0:39:24.520 --> 0:39:27.360
<v Speaker 1>just ask the question and if there's any resistance even

0:39:27.440 --> 0:39:31.920
<v Speaker 1>in the moment. In some states, consent has to be

0:39:31.920 --> 0:39:35.400
<v Speaker 1>a verbal yes, which means even if it's consensual sex,

0:39:35.440 --> 0:39:37.479
<v Speaker 1>like nothing is said and you end up having sex

0:39:37.520 --> 0:39:41.600
<v Speaker 1>with this person later on, if they're like I felt uncomfortable.

0:39:41.800 --> 0:39:44.200
<v Speaker 1>In some states, it has to be a verbal yes,

0:39:44.280 --> 0:39:46.680
<v Speaker 1>and if they don't say a verbal yes, it's not consensual.

0:39:47.160 --> 0:39:49.640
<v Speaker 1>And the thing that you know, I've said to my

0:39:49.760 --> 0:39:53.320
<v Speaker 1>kids and and to other kids, and you know in life,

0:39:53.360 --> 0:39:56.080
<v Speaker 1>is that even when it was consentual, if they say

0:39:56.160 --> 0:39:58.080
<v Speaker 1>yes and you're in the act and they changed their mind,

0:39:58.840 --> 0:40:01.640
<v Speaker 1>it's now not consentual, I'll get out. Yeah, this is

0:40:01.640 --> 0:40:05.399
<v Speaker 1>a kind of a going through my mind a lot lately.

0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:09.759
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why, uh, but I think porn needs

0:40:09.760 --> 0:40:12.359
<v Speaker 1>to be more of a discussion. I think people need

0:40:12.400 --> 0:40:16.640
<v Speaker 1>to be okay with talking about porn more because it's

0:40:16.640 --> 0:40:20.560
<v Speaker 1>so ingrained in our culture now and it's such a

0:40:20.560 --> 0:40:23.719
<v Speaker 1>taboo topic that I just feel like there's gonna be

0:40:23.719 --> 0:40:26.399
<v Speaker 1>a whole generation of people not knowing how to act,

0:40:26.480 --> 0:40:28.759
<v Speaker 1>or what sex is or what making love is. You

0:40:29.040 --> 0:40:31.879
<v Speaker 1>have hit on something really astute in my in my mind,

0:40:32.320 --> 0:40:38.120
<v Speaker 1>thank you, You're welcome astute. I'm waiting with bated breath

0:40:38.120 --> 0:40:39.920
<v Speaker 1>on hearing what this was. I also want to hear

0:40:39.960 --> 0:40:43.840
<v Speaker 1>your perspective on porn Deane well after market give you

0:40:43.880 --> 0:40:45.840
<v Speaker 1>this acknowledgement, and then I would like to hear Dean's

0:40:46.160 --> 0:40:50.320
<v Speaker 1>take on it. But the part that I think is

0:40:50.360 --> 0:40:53.880
<v Speaker 1>really important that you said is there is the tendency

0:40:53.920 --> 0:40:56.880
<v Speaker 1>from a parenting standpoint for young people coming up to

0:40:57.040 --> 0:41:00.080
<v Speaker 1>block things. This is bad, don't do it, don't do it,

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:01.840
<v Speaker 1>don't do it, and do what you can to control

0:41:02.640 --> 0:41:06.319
<v Speaker 1>what the input is. Right. But really, all we have

0:41:06.440 --> 0:41:10.120
<v Speaker 1>as parents and quite frankly, as partners to people we

0:41:10.160 --> 0:41:13.560
<v Speaker 1>love is communication. So all we can do is educate.

0:41:13.880 --> 0:41:17.040
<v Speaker 1>It exists that And I'm gonna make the worst analogy,

0:41:17.080 --> 0:41:20.800
<v Speaker 1>but in baseball when my son was a baseball player younger,

0:41:20.840 --> 0:41:23.120
<v Speaker 1>I said, you can't pick your coaches. So sometimes it's

0:41:23.160 --> 0:41:25.799
<v Speaker 1>gonna be abusive and bad and everything. You have to

0:41:25.880 --> 0:41:29.279
<v Speaker 1>then educate yourself in those situations how to not let

0:41:29.320 --> 0:41:31.200
<v Speaker 1>that get in your head and ruin your life. So

0:41:31.600 --> 0:41:33.640
<v Speaker 1>there are things out there that are inputs that are

0:41:33.640 --> 0:41:36.560
<v Speaker 1>gonna happen. You can avoid them. All you can do

0:41:36.680 --> 0:41:39.520
<v Speaker 1>is do what you said, talk about it, even if

0:41:39.520 --> 0:41:42.279
<v Speaker 1>it's awkward. Now we have an understanding. You know what's

0:41:42.280 --> 0:41:43.879
<v Speaker 1>out there. I know it's out there. I know you've

0:41:43.920 --> 0:41:45.400
<v Speaker 1>seen it. You know that I know you've seen it.

0:41:45.480 --> 0:41:47.560
<v Speaker 1>Now we're past that awkward thing. Now we can talk

0:41:47.600 --> 0:41:50.080
<v Speaker 1>about this. And I really appreciate that you sat down

0:41:50.120 --> 0:41:52.080
<v Speaker 1>and talk to your son about it, because even in

0:41:52.120 --> 0:41:55.080
<v Speaker 1>the moment, if he did not react in a positive

0:41:55.120 --> 0:41:57.319
<v Speaker 1>way and he felt embarrassed by you and he didn't

0:41:57.320 --> 0:41:59.600
<v Speaker 1>want to talk about it with you, down the line,

0:41:59.600 --> 0:42:02.040
<v Speaker 1>he's gonna thank you for talking to him about it,

0:42:02.360 --> 0:42:05.440
<v Speaker 1>because it's going to teach him a lesson. Oh yeah,

0:42:05.520 --> 0:42:08.120
<v Speaker 1>and he's a wonderful boyfriend to his girlfriend. Yeah, and

0:42:08.160 --> 0:42:13.879
<v Speaker 1>it's an important lesson to be taught. He's seven. Oh okay, yeah,

0:42:13.920 --> 0:42:16.000
<v Speaker 1>we got him over the hump. He's like, he's on

0:42:16.000 --> 0:42:18.480
<v Speaker 1>his own now. He's probably sexually active. We could probably

0:42:18.480 --> 0:42:21.960
<v Speaker 1>can safely assume that. I'm pretty sure that's happening, not

0:42:22.680 --> 0:42:26.480
<v Speaker 1>to have another kind of So, Dean, what's your perspective

0:42:26.480 --> 0:42:29.040
<v Speaker 1>on this? You haven't spoken well, Yeah, I figured I

0:42:29.120 --> 0:42:31.000
<v Speaker 1>just let you guys do all the time. I'm curious

0:42:31.080 --> 0:42:33.319
<v Speaker 1>you're still better about you wanted questions and he went right,

0:42:33.440 --> 0:42:39.959
<v Speaker 1>when did you? Dean's that's not a sign that maybe

0:42:39.960 --> 0:42:43.640
<v Speaker 1>we should move on, But I'm still gonna I'm I'm

0:42:43.640 --> 0:42:50.520
<v Speaker 1>curious because I always I just think I'm I'm fumbling

0:42:50.600 --> 0:42:53.920
<v Speaker 1>over my words. Yeah, it's just a taboo topic that

0:42:53.960 --> 0:42:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I really wish wasn't because I do think it needs

0:42:56.560 --> 0:42:58.520
<v Speaker 1>to be talked about more and and people need to

0:42:58.600 --> 0:43:01.960
<v Speaker 1>educate themselves on it more. It's funny, actually, cause I

0:43:01.960 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 1>had a conversation not too long ago with a friend

0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:08.640
<v Speaker 1>about this about how guys, how guys watching porn kind

0:43:08.640 --> 0:43:11.080
<v Speaker 1>of diminishes the act of like making love with someone

0:43:11.160 --> 0:43:13.400
<v Speaker 1>because at a young age, basically what we're doing is

0:43:13.400 --> 0:43:15.400
<v Speaker 1>like we're watching porn. We're doing what we need to do.

0:43:15.640 --> 0:43:17.440
<v Speaker 1>We're getting it over with as quickly as we possibly

0:43:17.440 --> 0:43:19.200
<v Speaker 1>can because we don't want anyone to walk in on us,

0:43:19.440 --> 0:43:20.960
<v Speaker 1>and then like we're moving on with our lives. And

0:43:21.000 --> 0:43:23.399
<v Speaker 1>so that's kind of translating into the sex world now,

0:43:23.440 --> 0:43:25.120
<v Speaker 1>where like guys are like, okay, like I'm just gonna

0:43:25.160 --> 0:43:26.800
<v Speaker 1>go and crank it out, be over with it and

0:43:26.840 --> 0:43:28.200
<v Speaker 1>be done with it, and like when I'm done, it's

0:43:28.239 --> 0:43:29.960
<v Speaker 1>done kind of thing, you know what I mean. Then

0:43:29.960 --> 0:43:31.920
<v Speaker 1>that's not really how it is. Um. And so for

0:43:32.000 --> 0:43:33.640
<v Speaker 1>me as a kid growing up, like you know, I

0:43:33.640 --> 0:43:36.000
<v Speaker 1>had obviously my mom and dad were living in the house.

0:43:36.040 --> 0:43:37.640
<v Speaker 1>I had two brothers and a sister and they're all

0:43:37.640 --> 0:43:39.120
<v Speaker 1>older than me. So I was like trying to like

0:43:39.160 --> 0:43:43.279
<v Speaker 1>I started watching porn probably like when I was Yes,

0:43:43.360 --> 0:43:46.040
<v Speaker 1>that's very yes, it was good at hiding it right, um.

0:43:46.080 --> 0:43:48.200
<v Speaker 1>And so only just recently, probably within the past like

0:43:48.360 --> 0:43:50.759
<v Speaker 1>year or so, I've I've gotten comfortable enough with like

0:43:50.800 --> 0:43:54.080
<v Speaker 1>talking about it with like my partners about like you know,

0:43:54.160 --> 0:43:56.560
<v Speaker 1>like if I watch it, how often I watch it

0:43:56.719 --> 0:43:58.400
<v Speaker 1>when I'm watching like that kind of stuff, and then

0:43:58.400 --> 0:44:00.719
<v Speaker 1>like I started asking them questions as well. Um, and

0:44:00.760 --> 0:44:03.160
<v Speaker 1>so it's like still something that I'm working on normalizing.

0:44:03.480 --> 0:44:06.000
<v Speaker 1>But I agree, I think honestly is really what it is.

0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:09.880
<v Speaker 1>Just like probably in discussing it with your partners opens

0:44:09.960 --> 0:44:12.440
<v Speaker 1>up the possibility of an even better sex life with

0:44:12.480 --> 0:44:15.640
<v Speaker 1>those partners because the communication is great. But I think

0:44:15.680 --> 0:44:17.400
<v Speaker 1>once when I was in college, I asked my girlfriend

0:44:17.400 --> 0:44:18.919
<v Speaker 1>to watch porn with me while we were like looking

0:44:19.000 --> 0:44:20.480
<v Speaker 1>up and like I kind of as a joke, and

0:44:20.520 --> 0:44:21.920
<v Speaker 1>she wasn't into it. And then ever since then, I

0:44:22.040 --> 0:44:24.359
<v Speaker 1>like never talked about it again, you know what I mean. Um,

0:44:24.400 --> 0:44:25.839
<v Speaker 1>And so it's just I don't know, it's just kind

0:44:25.840 --> 0:44:27.920
<v Speaker 1>of a weird. We can play that whole thing of

0:44:27.960 --> 0:44:30.520
<v Speaker 1>putting out there going I would just kidding. Yeah, I

0:44:30.600 --> 0:44:33.920
<v Speaker 1>just want to see your reaction within relationships, I think,

0:44:33.960 --> 0:44:36.480
<v Speaker 1>to each their own. I just think, especially on an

0:44:36.480 --> 0:44:39.160
<v Speaker 1>early age growing up with it, I think it's very

0:44:39.160 --> 0:44:42.480
<v Speaker 1>important not to like you said, Mark block it or

0:44:42.520 --> 0:44:45.040
<v Speaker 1>try to ignore it, to accept the fact that it's

0:44:45.080 --> 0:44:47.400
<v Speaker 1>there and try to educate them as much as possible,

0:44:47.520 --> 0:44:50.719
<v Speaker 1>because I think as a culture also getting desensitized. You know,

0:44:50.960 --> 0:44:53.000
<v Speaker 1>that's my biggest fear about it is it's not a

0:44:53.040 --> 0:44:56.560
<v Speaker 1>real version of the way we interact with people when

0:44:56.560 --> 0:44:59.160
<v Speaker 1>you were a kid. I'm sure your way of seeing

0:44:59.200 --> 0:45:02.680
<v Speaker 1>women list was due if your dad's room, going into bed,

0:45:02.719 --> 0:45:05.239
<v Speaker 1>trying to get a Playboy magazine. If I got a

0:45:05.239 --> 0:45:08.200
<v Speaker 1>Playboy magazine, I'm sharing it with the neighborhood we were having.

0:45:08.239 --> 0:45:12.200
<v Speaker 1>We were like J. C. Penny bra Ads was like

0:45:12.440 --> 0:45:15.080
<v Speaker 1>softcore porn. Remember my sister had like a Cosmo subscription

0:45:15.160 --> 0:45:16.560
<v Speaker 1>or something. I would sneak up and check out that.

0:45:16.600 --> 0:45:22.680
<v Speaker 1>Everyone sing And now somebody can google anything they want

0:45:22.760 --> 0:45:27.719
<v Speaker 1>and it will pop up. That's not good for any

0:45:27.760 --> 0:45:30.520
<v Speaker 1>young generation out there. No, maybe it's really good to

0:45:30.520 --> 0:45:33.480
<v Speaker 1>to um like blast them with basically as whatever they're

0:45:33.480 --> 0:45:35.759
<v Speaker 1>interested in. Like you're curious about something, boom, you can

0:45:35.760 --> 0:45:39.160
<v Speaker 1>go and look it up. Yeah. Yeah. But the problem

0:45:39.400 --> 0:45:42.719
<v Speaker 1>in that is when you're in your formative years, like

0:45:42.760 --> 0:45:49.000
<v Speaker 1>you're your body's changing puberty, right, you're filled with shame,

0:45:49.760 --> 0:45:52.760
<v Speaker 1>like your whole life is comparing. You're in the locker

0:45:52.800 --> 0:45:55.560
<v Speaker 1>room at the seventh grade and you're a boy and

0:45:55.560 --> 0:45:56.960
<v Speaker 1>a guy next to you as a man, You're like,

0:45:57.120 --> 0:45:59.760
<v Speaker 1>what the hell. It's such a dramatic difference, and everything

0:45:59.840 --> 0:46:02.879
<v Speaker 1>is like makes no sense. You're like, you've heard about

0:46:02.880 --> 0:46:04.480
<v Speaker 1>what an orgasm is, but you don't even know where

0:46:04.480 --> 0:46:06.680
<v Speaker 1>it comes out and how does that work? And does

0:46:06.719 --> 0:46:10.200
<v Speaker 1>it stop on time? You know, the world is like,

0:46:11.200 --> 0:46:13.600
<v Speaker 1>maybe I just said too much about in dialogue with

0:46:14.000 --> 0:46:17.000
<v Speaker 1>the world is confusing and shameful to you, and you

0:46:17.080 --> 0:46:19.000
<v Speaker 1>don't want to talk about it because you're the most

0:46:19.040 --> 0:46:21.239
<v Speaker 1>awkward part of your life and you're you want to

0:46:21.239 --> 0:46:24.480
<v Speaker 1>talk about. What is underestimated is that your hormones are

0:46:24.480 --> 0:46:27.480
<v Speaker 1>going crazy. So you're not even in your right mind

0:46:27.520 --> 0:46:30.520
<v Speaker 1>at that age. So it is not natural for that

0:46:30.680 --> 0:46:35.920
<v Speaker 1>kid to say, you know, dad, what the hell is this?

0:46:36.600 --> 0:46:39.959
<v Speaker 1>And what it is natural for is to hide and

0:46:40.160 --> 0:46:43.200
<v Speaker 1>be fascinated by it. And at twelve and thirteen years old,

0:46:43.239 --> 0:46:45.440
<v Speaker 1>you can go twelve times a day, so you're rubbing

0:46:45.440 --> 0:46:49.200
<v Speaker 1>a callous right. And if somebody doesn't broach the subject

0:46:49.280 --> 0:46:52.239
<v Speaker 1>and say, hey, man, you know you're completely normal. This

0:46:52.360 --> 0:46:56.359
<v Speaker 1>is absolutely all the urges, all your questions. Let's just

0:46:56.400 --> 0:46:58.160
<v Speaker 1>get you. And this is how I broke it down

0:46:58.160 --> 0:47:01.239
<v Speaker 1>with my son. This is how it went down. It's

0:47:01.239 --> 0:47:04.160
<v Speaker 1>about six or seventh probably sixth grade, and he comes

0:47:04.239 --> 0:47:06.080
<v Speaker 1>up to me and he says, Dad, in middle school,

0:47:06.080 --> 0:47:09.880
<v Speaker 1>do we have to take showers? And Jim and I

0:47:10.000 --> 0:47:13.360
<v Speaker 1>knew what that really was was I don't know anything

0:47:13.400 --> 0:47:17.440
<v Speaker 1>about sex? And I said, because they had the like

0:47:17.480 --> 0:47:20.839
<v Speaker 1>the health um video coming up, like the health movie

0:47:20.840 --> 0:47:23.600
<v Speaker 1>you watch. And I sensed he was upset about it,

0:47:24.040 --> 0:47:26.439
<v Speaker 1>so I said, more, let's sit down. I said, Mom's

0:47:26.440 --> 0:47:28.799
<v Speaker 1>out of the house, Goldie got something going on. You

0:47:28.840 --> 0:47:30.600
<v Speaker 1>and me, let's chill and talk about this. I said,

0:47:30.640 --> 0:47:34.479
<v Speaker 1>what do you know about sex? He says nothing, I said,

0:47:34.600 --> 0:47:36.479
<v Speaker 1>and I joked, I said, well, this is gonna suck,

0:47:36.560 --> 0:47:38.960
<v Speaker 1>but all right, let's do this. Should have been like

0:47:39.040 --> 0:47:41.759
<v Speaker 1>me too, Yeah, I said, well, listen, I might say

0:47:41.760 --> 0:47:43.160
<v Speaker 1>to my son if he says, I don't know anything

0:47:43.160 --> 0:47:45.920
<v Speaker 1>about sex, but like I don't know. It's it's a

0:47:46.000 --> 0:47:49.799
<v Speaker 1>fluid situation. And I said, all right, well, let's just

0:47:50.000 --> 0:47:52.480
<v Speaker 1>knock this out right now. And I went through it.

0:47:52.520 --> 0:47:55.640
<v Speaker 1>I said, I here's how this works. You know. It's

0:47:55.880 --> 0:47:58.319
<v Speaker 1>it's you're gonna have an urge and it's gonna kind

0:47:58.320 --> 0:48:01.399
<v Speaker 1>of almost not it's gonna gross, but somehow it turns

0:48:01.400 --> 0:48:05.040
<v Speaker 1>out not being gross. And here's how this is what

0:48:05.680 --> 0:48:08.120
<v Speaker 1>where you put this and that, and here's what these

0:48:08.160 --> 0:48:10.200
<v Speaker 1>parts are. And I just broke it down, not even

0:48:10.239 --> 0:48:13.560
<v Speaker 1>like clinically, like jokingly, like you know, here's what's up,

0:48:13.760 --> 0:48:16.640
<v Speaker 1>and here's where it's dangerous, and and uh, here's some

0:48:16.719 --> 0:48:19.120
<v Speaker 1>other things. This is what gay sex looks like from

0:48:19.120 --> 0:48:21.759
<v Speaker 1>what I understand, And so don't don't be fooled by

0:48:21.760 --> 0:48:23.400
<v Speaker 1>what your friends will tell you about that. What a

0:48:23.440 --> 0:48:27.000
<v Speaker 1>gay relationship is, you know, and um and and we

0:48:27.080 --> 0:48:28.759
<v Speaker 1>laughed our way through it. And the way I came

0:48:28.800 --> 0:48:30.719
<v Speaker 1>into it, I said, look, you're gonna go into the

0:48:30.719 --> 0:48:33.160
<v Speaker 1>gym and watch this movie or wherever. And there's two

0:48:33.239 --> 0:48:35.759
<v Speaker 1>kinds of kids, Okay, there's the one kid who knows

0:48:35.800 --> 0:48:38.520
<v Speaker 1>what's up and the other kid who doesn't know what's up.

0:48:38.800 --> 0:48:40.440
<v Speaker 1>And they come out of that gym and one of

0:48:40.440 --> 0:48:42.680
<v Speaker 1>them is like laughing and chill, and the other one

0:48:42.840 --> 0:48:45.160
<v Speaker 1>looks like a ghost and freaked out because there's too

0:48:45.160 --> 0:48:47.840
<v Speaker 1>many questions that they don't have the answers to. I said, so,

0:48:47.960 --> 0:48:49.759
<v Speaker 1>I think, as awkward as it is to talk to

0:48:49.800 --> 0:48:51.879
<v Speaker 1>your dad about this, you want to be the dude

0:48:51.920 --> 0:48:54.919
<v Speaker 1>who knows what's up, right, And I promise you're gonna

0:48:54.920 --> 0:48:57.160
<v Speaker 1>feel better about it, so let's just get it done now.

0:48:57.600 --> 0:48:59.920
<v Speaker 1>And it became a conversation we laugh about today. It

0:49:00.080 --> 0:49:03.400
<v Speaker 1>is great, you know, and it gets down to the

0:49:03.480 --> 0:49:07.920
<v Speaker 1>root of it in love, in relationship, in parenting. If

0:49:07.960 --> 0:49:11.759
<v Speaker 1>you're talking, you're alive. You gotta gott a chance. If

0:49:11.760 --> 0:49:14.200
<v Speaker 1>you're talking out of that, it's all you know. And

0:49:14.239 --> 0:49:16.400
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like a pretty good dad. I never had that. Unfortunately,

0:49:16.400 --> 0:49:17.839
<v Speaker 1>I never had to talk with my dad about any

0:49:17.840 --> 0:49:22.000
<v Speaker 1>that stuff. Yeah, did you have ever have a sex

0:49:22.000 --> 0:49:24.319
<v Speaker 1>sox with anybody? I didn't either. In school I did,

0:49:24.320 --> 0:49:25.960
<v Speaker 1>and when I was in fifth grade, I think I

0:49:25.960 --> 0:49:28.239
<v Speaker 1>remember asking some pretty ridiculous questions. But all right, we're

0:49:28.239 --> 0:49:30.759
<v Speaker 1>gonna move on. So Britt asked the question, for all

0:49:30.800 --> 0:49:33.160
<v Speaker 1>three of us are opposite sex friends, Okay, when in

0:49:33.160 --> 0:49:35.239
<v Speaker 1>a relationship? Is it okay to message and hang out

0:49:35.280 --> 0:49:37.719
<v Speaker 1>with someone of the opposite sex alone if they're not

0:49:37.760 --> 0:49:41.399
<v Speaker 1>a mutual friend? Papa, Papa, what do you guys think?

0:49:42.400 --> 0:49:44.319
<v Speaker 1>Because I know what I think, I know what I think.

0:49:44.360 --> 0:49:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm just letting you guys. I don't want to talk

0:49:46.120 --> 0:49:47.960
<v Speaker 1>to my I'm never gonna get back. I think I'm

0:49:47.960 --> 0:49:49.920
<v Speaker 1>gonna be in the minority on this one. I think

0:49:49.920 --> 0:49:53.120
<v Speaker 1>it's okay. I think it's almost encouraged. You're not in

0:49:53.200 --> 0:49:56.080
<v Speaker 1>the already, but I'm going to qualify that you have.

0:49:56.440 --> 0:49:58.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm with Mark, you have to qualify. One of my

0:49:58.600 --> 0:50:02.440
<v Speaker 1>best friends is a female. And I remember Ashley always

0:50:02.640 --> 0:50:06.560
<v Speaker 1>before she met her, Ashley always thinking who is this

0:50:06.600 --> 0:50:09.959
<v Speaker 1>person and why aren't you two dating? M M. I said,

0:50:10.480 --> 0:50:14.400
<v Speaker 1>she's like my sister. You have to meet this person

0:50:14.440 --> 0:50:17.760
<v Speaker 1>to understand our relationship. Ashley did. This is when Ashley

0:50:17.760 --> 0:50:19.920
<v Speaker 1>and I were just friends. And she goes, Okay, I

0:50:20.000 --> 0:50:22.640
<v Speaker 1>get it. You guys have a total platonic relationship. You

0:50:22.640 --> 0:50:25.879
<v Speaker 1>guys are really like cousins. It's weird but cool. So

0:50:26.160 --> 0:50:28.400
<v Speaker 1>that would be my only exception to the rule, pretty

0:50:28.480 --> 0:50:31.640
<v Speaker 1>much is that you're it has to be a mutual friend.

0:50:31.640 --> 0:50:34.080
<v Speaker 1>I think it has to be somewhat of a mutual friend.

0:50:35.120 --> 0:50:37.239
<v Speaker 1>There's two sides of this, So let's talk about the

0:50:37.360 --> 0:50:40.160
<v Speaker 1>value of an opposite sex friend that's platonic, that's a

0:50:40.200 --> 0:50:43.160
<v Speaker 1>non sexual partner. And on Temptation Island, see I'm bringing

0:50:43.160 --> 0:50:46.880
<v Speaker 1>it back. Yeah, Temptation too on USA Network Thursdays at

0:50:48.320 --> 0:50:52.719
<v Speaker 1>Thank You Um. On Temptation Island, a happy. Byproduct that

0:50:52.760 --> 0:50:57.520
<v Speaker 1>nobody expects is that people form friendships that are platonic

0:50:57.600 --> 0:51:00.680
<v Speaker 1>with the opposite sex that really informs them on their

0:51:00.719 --> 0:51:04.360
<v Speaker 1>decisions later. So having a friend and a point of

0:51:04.440 --> 0:51:08.000
<v Speaker 1>view that you trust from the opposite sex is imperative

0:51:08.640 --> 0:51:11.720
<v Speaker 1>because if you're gonna hang out with your crew of dudes,

0:51:11.760 --> 0:51:13.920
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna get the same perspective and it's not going

0:51:13.960 --> 0:51:16.160
<v Speaker 1>to be as evolved as getting the other side of

0:51:16.200 --> 0:51:19.520
<v Speaker 1>the story. Now, the other thing is exactly what you're

0:51:19.520 --> 0:51:22.400
<v Speaker 1>talking about, Jared. If you're in a committed relationship, you

0:51:22.440 --> 0:51:24.280
<v Speaker 1>don't want to do anything to make the other person

0:51:24.440 --> 0:51:27.680
<v Speaker 1>be concerned or worried. So if you have an opposite

0:51:27.680 --> 0:51:30.600
<v Speaker 1>sex friend, that friend's got to be friends with both

0:51:30.640 --> 0:51:36.040
<v Speaker 1>of you, and you need to never have coffee without saying, hey,

0:51:36.080 --> 0:51:38.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm having coffee with Susy. See that's where I agree,

0:51:38.280 --> 0:51:40.560
<v Speaker 1>and I agree with half of that. I don't necessarily

0:51:40.560 --> 0:51:42.480
<v Speaker 1>agree that they have to be mutual friends, but I

0:51:42.520 --> 0:51:44.960
<v Speaker 1>do agree with being fourth right and honest about what

0:51:45.000 --> 0:51:48.000
<v Speaker 1>you're doing, where you're going and hanging out. And if

0:51:48.120 --> 0:51:52.239
<v Speaker 1>your wife is not down, sadly you're going to lose

0:51:52.239 --> 0:51:54.359
<v Speaker 1>that friends. Is that right? Though? No, it's not right.

0:51:55.000 --> 0:51:59.640
<v Speaker 1>It's not right. Look there's here. Now you're stumbling into

0:51:59.640 --> 0:52:02.200
<v Speaker 1>the rab at the whole of the conventions of social

0:52:02.560 --> 0:52:04.600
<v Speaker 1>and let's be honest, and sometimes in life you have

0:52:04.640 --> 0:52:06.959
<v Speaker 1>to make a choice. Well, that's what I'm talking about.

0:52:07.080 --> 0:52:12.040
<v Speaker 1>Is not right? If we were, it's like communism. Communism

0:52:12.080 --> 0:52:16.480
<v Speaker 1>on the first page of it makes well. It looks

0:52:16.520 --> 0:52:19.120
<v Speaker 1>like it's a great idea. Everybody owns everything, it's all

0:52:19.160 --> 0:52:22.240
<v Speaker 1>gonna work out. But the human condition of jealousy and

0:52:22.440 --> 0:52:26.759
<v Speaker 1>need is gonna crush communism. It doesn't work right. So

0:52:27.440 --> 0:52:30.400
<v Speaker 1>your answer, your question, Dean, is is that fair is

0:52:30.400 --> 0:52:32.200
<v Speaker 1>not fair? We should be able to have friends with

0:52:32.239 --> 0:52:36.520
<v Speaker 1>whomever we're connected with and trust that it's altruistic and authentic.

0:52:37.080 --> 0:52:40.680
<v Speaker 1>But the facts are it rarely works out that way,

0:52:41.120 --> 0:52:44.160
<v Speaker 1>and self doubt and concern within your relationship kills the

0:52:44.200 --> 0:52:47.000
<v Speaker 1>relationships you have. You have a duty to make sure

0:52:47.000 --> 0:52:49.680
<v Speaker 1>that the person you're committed to is number one, and

0:52:49.680 --> 0:52:51.600
<v Speaker 1>that means you lose some stuff. Let me let me

0:52:52.080 --> 0:52:54.279
<v Speaker 1>change the namic a little bit. Let me say, let's

0:52:54.280 --> 0:52:56.040
<v Speaker 1>say I so I'm dating Calin right, Let's say I

0:52:56.040 --> 0:52:58.040
<v Speaker 1>have a friend who's a girl, and here and I

0:52:58.160 --> 0:53:00.600
<v Speaker 1>like hang out semi often, like once a month, twice

0:53:00.600 --> 0:53:02.799
<v Speaker 1>a month, we'll get lunch, dinner. Right, doesn't make it

0:53:02.800 --> 0:53:05.239
<v Speaker 1>any different if that girl has a boyfriend or a

0:53:05.360 --> 0:53:08.960
<v Speaker 1>husband or absolutely, but it doesn't. It doesn't solve anything.

0:53:08.960 --> 0:53:10.560
<v Speaker 1>It just that kind of helps. It has to do

0:53:10.640 --> 0:53:16.640
<v Speaker 1>with your Caitlin, she feels about it. If she's cool,

0:53:17.000 --> 0:53:19.120
<v Speaker 1>you give her no reason to be concerned. She knows

0:53:19.160 --> 0:53:22.120
<v Speaker 1>the girl, and you're better for having that conversation and

0:53:22.160 --> 0:53:25.279
<v Speaker 1>it's open, then you're gonna have an evolved relationship. Because

0:53:25.280 --> 0:53:28.200
<v Speaker 1>my perspective with it to sorry Jared, is my friendship

0:53:28.719 --> 0:53:31.920
<v Speaker 1>with whoever I'm friends with is going to be longer

0:53:31.960 --> 0:53:33.680
<v Speaker 1>than my relationship. Right, But then I guess it really

0:53:33.760 --> 0:53:38.239
<v Speaker 1>just closed onto which one doesn't have a good Well,

0:53:38.239 --> 0:53:40.000
<v Speaker 1>you can't say that because what if the relationship turns

0:53:40.000 --> 0:53:41.640
<v Speaker 1>into a marriage if you want even want to spend

0:53:42.160 --> 0:53:44.200
<v Speaker 1>I agree, And obviously you have to prioritize relationships in

0:53:44.200 --> 0:53:47.120
<v Speaker 1>your life. What you're talking about the grandfather clause grandfathering

0:53:47.120 --> 0:53:49.960
<v Speaker 1>them in because they predate your relationship. But Jared is

0:53:50.000 --> 0:53:53.680
<v Speaker 1>talking about and he's not wrong, is you it's a

0:53:53.719 --> 0:53:57.080
<v Speaker 1>weighted average, So yeah, they may have been there longer,

0:53:57.480 --> 0:53:59.759
<v Speaker 1>and by right, you're allowed to keep that friendship. We

0:53:59.840 --> 0:54:02.279
<v Speaker 1>do with this actually on temptation on one of the

0:54:02.320 --> 0:54:07.000
<v Speaker 1>guys has former lovers as close friends now with the girlfriend, right,

0:54:07.320 --> 0:54:11.400
<v Speaker 1>And it's hinky when you commit to somebody for life

0:54:11.560 --> 0:54:17.640
<v Speaker 1>or at least you're exclusive, chronology is not the answer.

0:54:17.960 --> 0:54:22.200
<v Speaker 1>It's commitment your first And everything I do is through

0:54:22.200 --> 0:54:25.920
<v Speaker 1>the filter of are you comfortable? And I'm hoping that

0:54:26.000 --> 0:54:28.680
<v Speaker 1>I've set up a relationship that's strong enough that you

0:54:28.719 --> 0:54:30.480
<v Speaker 1>can allow me to have the friends that I've had

0:54:31.000 --> 0:54:33.239
<v Speaker 1>because my heart's with you. I'm with you. You don't

0:54:33.239 --> 0:54:35.239
<v Speaker 1>have to worry, and I'm letting you know what's up.

0:54:35.840 --> 0:54:38.200
<v Speaker 1>And if you feel uncomfortable about this, we either talk

0:54:38.239 --> 0:54:40.360
<v Speaker 1>about it and get resolved so you don't lose a

0:54:40.400 --> 0:54:43.120
<v Speaker 1>friendship that matters to you, or you talk about it

0:54:43.160 --> 0:54:45.520
<v Speaker 1>with a three of you to redefine how this friendship

0:54:45.560 --> 0:54:50.120
<v Speaker 1>is gonna work. Right. For instance, I have a family

0:54:50.120 --> 0:54:53.400
<v Speaker 1>member who's female, a distant cousin right that likes my

0:54:53.440 --> 0:54:55.840
<v Speaker 1>advice from time to time. But we made a pact

0:54:56.200 --> 0:54:58.920
<v Speaker 1>whenever you text me, make it a group text. Just

0:54:59.000 --> 0:55:01.520
<v Speaker 1>make a group text, so Robbie's aware. And we were

0:55:01.560 --> 0:55:06.279
<v Speaker 1>all cool, and that's a little bit of a ridiculous,

0:55:06.800 --> 0:55:09.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, compromise, because if we're all adults, there shouldn't

0:55:09.800 --> 0:55:12.279
<v Speaker 1>be no, shouldn't be anything to worry about. But it's

0:55:12.280 --> 0:55:15.200
<v Speaker 1>our job in a relationship to realize that it's a relationship,

0:55:15.239 --> 0:55:18.440
<v Speaker 1>it's its own entity. We have to compromise and change ourselves.

0:55:18.960 --> 0:55:20.640
<v Speaker 1>We give a little, they give a little, and for

0:55:20.680 --> 0:55:22.520
<v Speaker 1>the benefit of both of us. And when I say

0:55:22.560 --> 0:55:27.400
<v Speaker 1>a mutual friend, I just mean that the your partner

0:55:27.400 --> 0:55:30.040
<v Speaker 1>has to know this friend. They have had to have met.

0:55:30.239 --> 0:55:33.520
<v Speaker 1>You can't like, for example, if has Calin met this.

0:55:33.880 --> 0:55:39.919
<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying anything specific. I'm just sorry to say hypothetically, uh, Klin, Yeah,

0:55:40.160 --> 0:55:42.239
<v Speaker 1>Klin has not met your friend. That's a girl that

0:55:42.280 --> 0:55:44.040
<v Speaker 1>you hang out with once or two twice a month.

0:55:44.760 --> 0:55:47.359
<v Speaker 1>I really think it's important for your relationship with Calin.

0:55:47.440 --> 0:55:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Hypothetically speaking, this is not true, but that Caitlin meets

0:55:50.680 --> 0:55:53.560
<v Speaker 1>that girl and just make sure like, Okay, now I

0:55:53.600 --> 0:55:56.040
<v Speaker 1>know her, I have a connection with her. There's a

0:55:56.080 --> 0:55:58.239
<v Speaker 1>little different vibe because instead of you kind of like

0:55:58.320 --> 0:55:59.759
<v Speaker 1>leaving Caln and be like, oh, I'm gonna go hang

0:55:59.760 --> 0:56:02.320
<v Speaker 1>out with Sarah. Nowever, well, the truth is she already

0:56:02.320 --> 0:56:04.839
<v Speaker 1>knows this girl, because you can find out anything about anybody. Yeah,

0:56:04.880 --> 0:56:06.879
<v Speaker 1>but you know, it's different meeting someone face to face

0:56:06.920 --> 0:56:09.359
<v Speaker 1>in person and then then having connection and kind of

0:56:09.400 --> 0:56:13.480
<v Speaker 1>like vibing out the relationship between the friends. And I

0:56:13.520 --> 0:56:17.480
<v Speaker 1>believe that women's intuition, that old adage is legit and

0:56:17.520 --> 0:56:21.160
<v Speaker 1>there's a scientific reason why. So I think that's really

0:56:21.200 --> 0:56:24.880
<v Speaker 1>important because I feel like women can really quick be

0:56:25.040 --> 0:56:28.480
<v Speaker 1>together and sense is this chill or not? You know,

0:56:28.560 --> 0:56:32.560
<v Speaker 1>they can suss that out nonverbally. And uh, I think

0:56:32.640 --> 0:56:34.440
<v Speaker 1>men can do it too, but we've sort of atrophied

0:56:34.440 --> 0:56:35.840
<v Speaker 1>that skill a little bit because we just kind of

0:56:35.880 --> 0:56:38.920
<v Speaker 1>grunt and fight, just push all our emotions down exactly.

0:56:39.600 --> 0:56:42.040
<v Speaker 1>Women still into it each other. So I think that

0:56:42.239 --> 0:56:44.600
<v Speaker 1>the only way to navigate that is be true to

0:56:44.600 --> 0:56:47.640
<v Speaker 1>your friendship. And the same thing with the porn thing.

0:56:47.719 --> 0:56:50.839
<v Speaker 1>Just you gotta you gotta bring your wife or your

0:56:51.040 --> 0:56:55.120
<v Speaker 1>your girlfriend into the mix so that everybody feels supported.

0:56:55.360 --> 0:56:57.880
<v Speaker 1>I have another question that kind of commingles these two

0:56:58.040 --> 0:57:02.600
<v Speaker 1>questions that we've already answered. Jessica asks, would less Jessica

0:57:02.760 --> 0:57:06.040
<v Speaker 1>win her questions? God bless Jessica. Hopefully you're watching Temptation

0:57:06.120 --> 0:57:11.400
<v Speaker 1>Island or Dean likes watching on Bravo, but we're on USA.

0:57:12.000 --> 0:57:15.000
<v Speaker 1>Jessica asks, would you guys allow your wife or girlfriend

0:57:15.040 --> 0:57:19.200
<v Speaker 1>ever to have a hall pass? The hall pass is

0:57:19.240 --> 0:57:23.360
<v Speaker 1>such a that's like the that's like the most ridiculous

0:57:23.800 --> 0:57:27.600
<v Speaker 1>fantasy thing that doesn't exist in real life. Every movie

0:57:27.720 --> 0:57:31.720
<v Speaker 1>that touches on it. My show is fantasy is best

0:57:31.800 --> 0:57:35.160
<v Speaker 1>Left is fantasy. The hall pass is b as the

0:57:35.280 --> 0:57:38.800
<v Speaker 1>top three, you know, like your list of three, like

0:57:39.080 --> 0:57:44.120
<v Speaker 1>like like I once drunk called Robbie from the Rich Carlton,

0:57:44.160 --> 0:57:46.000
<v Speaker 1>New York, and I said, I just found out that

0:57:46.000 --> 0:57:48.360
<v Speaker 1>Britney Spears is staying in the hotel, and I'm letting

0:57:48.360 --> 0:57:49.440
<v Speaker 1>you know that if I have a chance to hook

0:57:49.520 --> 0:57:51.360
<v Speaker 1>up with her, I'm going to do that. And by chance,

0:57:51.400 --> 0:57:54.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean in the same elevator together. And she didn't

0:57:54.800 --> 0:57:57.440
<v Speaker 1>find any comedy in that, and I was only joking

0:57:58.120 --> 0:58:03.480
<v Speaker 1>kind of. But but the hall pass doesn't play that

0:58:03.520 --> 0:58:06.800
<v Speaker 1>one out, Dude, Everyone play that one out. That's what

0:58:06.840 --> 0:58:08.520
<v Speaker 1>I say on the show all the time. You want

0:58:08.560 --> 0:58:11.360
<v Speaker 1>the ring will play out that scenario. You get the

0:58:11.440 --> 0:58:13.760
<v Speaker 1>ring by ultimatum, how does that end up? So the

0:58:13.760 --> 0:58:16.600
<v Speaker 1>hall pass I want to haul pass. So you have

0:58:16.680 --> 0:58:18.600
<v Speaker 1>the Hall Pass. Now you come back. Now you've got

0:58:18.640 --> 0:58:22.760
<v Speaker 1>this thing, and if it doesn't bother your partner, the

0:58:22.800 --> 0:58:25.520
<v Speaker 1>same thing is temptation. If it doesn't bother your partner,

0:58:25.680 --> 0:58:28.919
<v Speaker 1>that's almost more alarming than it bothering your partner. Hall

0:58:28.960 --> 0:58:31.520
<v Speaker 1>passes a bullshit all right? Now? I agree, I agree,

0:58:31.840 --> 0:58:33.480
<v Speaker 1>I think it'd be I think in theory you can

0:58:33.520 --> 0:58:35.360
<v Speaker 1>say like, yeah, maybe it sounds like a good idea,

0:58:35.400 --> 0:58:37.720
<v Speaker 1>but in practice it would never really work, right, Like, Yeah,

0:58:37.960 --> 0:58:40.360
<v Speaker 1>like you said, if your partner likes it, that's a

0:58:40.360 --> 0:58:43.880
<v Speaker 1>red flag. If he doesn't like it, also, it's just

0:58:44.760 --> 0:58:48.560
<v Speaker 1>bloody red flag of death. Answer one more question, Jared,

0:58:48.600 --> 0:58:50.000
<v Speaker 1>pick the question. I feel like I've been asking all

0:58:50.000 --> 0:58:54.200
<v Speaker 1>of them. Um, let's ask this one from queens Steph.

0:58:54.280 --> 0:58:57.280
<v Speaker 1>How about determining if a guy is flirty with you

0:58:57.320 --> 0:59:00.240
<v Speaker 1>to attract you, or if he's just naturally and it

0:59:00.280 --> 0:59:02.800
<v Speaker 1>comes across that way. I feel like you probably a

0:59:02.800 --> 0:59:04.840
<v Speaker 1>lot of this on Temptation Island, Right. I was just

0:59:04.880 --> 0:59:06.640
<v Speaker 1>reading the cast list and some of them are like,

0:59:06.920 --> 0:59:11.840
<v Speaker 1>he's got a wondering I, he's very flirtatious, etcetera, etcetera. Right,

0:59:11.880 --> 0:59:13.480
<v Speaker 1>So what are your what are your thoughts on this?

0:59:13.640 --> 0:59:15.640
<v Speaker 1>And that's I'd like to hear your thoughts on this

0:59:15.680 --> 0:59:20.240
<v Speaker 1>because actually that's been you know, in my life, that's

0:59:20.240 --> 0:59:22.680
<v Speaker 1>been sort of a thing. You know, people, I'm being

0:59:22.800 --> 0:59:26.080
<v Speaker 1>me and it's misinterpreted as florty sometimes. I mean, that's

0:59:26.160 --> 0:59:28.200
<v Speaker 1>that's my experience with it too, as I think sometimes

0:59:28.200 --> 0:59:30.880
<v Speaker 1>my kindness comes across as flirtation, which can be I

0:59:30.880 --> 0:59:33.560
<v Speaker 1>guess it would be troubling, Like like if I was

0:59:33.640 --> 0:59:36.120
<v Speaker 1>dating me and I saw like that, I don't know,

0:59:36.160 --> 0:59:37.880
<v Speaker 1>I could be concerned. But I just who I am

0:59:37.920 --> 0:59:39.720
<v Speaker 1>as a person, you know what I mean. Yeah, I

0:59:39.720 --> 0:59:43.640
<v Speaker 1>mean I've had to learn two again. This is like

0:59:44.280 --> 0:59:47.080
<v Speaker 1>stuff that is natural and honest and usually have no

0:59:47.160 --> 0:59:49.840
<v Speaker 1>shame about. But you change your behavior because someone you

0:59:49.880 --> 0:59:53.120
<v Speaker 1>care about something. So you know, I'm a hugger, I'm flirty.

0:59:53.240 --> 0:59:55.640
<v Speaker 1>I like to hang out the guys and girls. It's

0:59:55.680 --> 0:59:59.360
<v Speaker 1>not even it's not even gender specific. I'm just I'm affectionate, right,

0:59:59.800 --> 1:00:02.680
<v Speaker 1>And and um, I have learned over the years to

1:00:02.720 --> 1:00:04.320
<v Speaker 1>be a little bit more aware that there are other

1:00:04.360 --> 1:00:07.200
<v Speaker 1>people in the room. And um, you know that how

1:00:07.200 --> 1:00:11.240
<v Speaker 1>does that make Robbie feel? You know? And and but

1:00:11.320 --> 1:00:15.120
<v Speaker 1>and the other thing is m and I hate to

1:00:15.120 --> 1:00:17.360
<v Speaker 1>get all like political, but the whole hashtag me too

1:00:17.400 --> 1:00:21.160
<v Speaker 1>movement thing has really really hit home for me and

1:00:21.200 --> 1:00:24.280
<v Speaker 1>made me really look at how difficult it is for women.

1:00:25.960 --> 1:00:30.960
<v Speaker 1>Has been in that everyone is a potential predator. And

1:00:31.000 --> 1:00:33.320
<v Speaker 1>I say this on the show. I can't believe. And

1:00:33.360 --> 1:00:36.040
<v Speaker 1>it's sad how many women I meet, young women and

1:00:36.320 --> 1:00:41.880
<v Speaker 1>older women who nonchalantly, you know, share at the very

1:00:41.960 --> 1:00:46.919
<v Speaker 1>least unhealthy relationship and at the very greatest highly abusive

1:00:47.080 --> 1:00:51.520
<v Speaker 1>relationships with men. So the vibe of friendliness that hey man,

1:00:51.560 --> 1:00:56.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm just it's all good is predatory at first glance.

1:00:56.640 --> 1:00:58.919
<v Speaker 1>So now what has made me have to do is say, hey,

1:00:58.960 --> 1:01:00.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, even though I want to be warm and

1:01:00.880 --> 1:01:03.160
<v Speaker 1>stuff like, I see a strange woman walking down the

1:01:03.200 --> 1:01:06.360
<v Speaker 1>street and I'm walking down the street and I offer

1:01:06.400 --> 1:01:10.160
<v Speaker 1>a smile. I now I'm aware. Is the smile letting

1:01:10.160 --> 1:01:12.360
<v Speaker 1>her know you're safe? Or is the smile like, oh shit,

1:01:12.720 --> 1:01:15.080
<v Speaker 1>is this guy coming at me? And so I'm hyper

1:01:15.120 --> 1:01:17.840
<v Speaker 1>aware of that now. And I think that you know

1:01:18.000 --> 1:01:21.360
<v Speaker 1>that being misinterpreted as flirty is a mechanism that women

1:01:21.440 --> 1:01:24.080
<v Speaker 1>have to have to make sure they're not going to

1:01:24.160 --> 1:01:27.120
<v Speaker 1>get in trouble, and so I think we as men

1:01:27.240 --> 1:01:29.840
<v Speaker 1>have to kind of really say stuff like, now I

1:01:29.920 --> 1:01:33.040
<v Speaker 1>host this live game show and for years when they

1:01:33.040 --> 1:01:34.760
<v Speaker 1>come on stage, I give him a hug. That's just

1:01:34.800 --> 1:01:37.520
<v Speaker 1>who I am. Now I say, can I hug you?

1:01:37.520 --> 1:01:39.560
<v Speaker 1>You know you? And and then it's all good. Now

1:01:39.600 --> 1:01:42.640
<v Speaker 1>you know where I'm coming from, right, and it's okay

1:01:42.640 --> 1:01:47.000
<v Speaker 1>that we have to kind of recalibrate. I agree, Well,

1:01:47.360 --> 1:01:50.520
<v Speaker 1>it's well my conversation. No, my my opinion on this

1:01:50.720 --> 1:01:54.400
<v Speaker 1>is not as a stute or uh political as Mark.

1:01:54.480 --> 1:01:58.800
<v Speaker 1>And I don't want to sound superficial, no please being

1:01:58.920 --> 1:02:00.880
<v Speaker 1>because I'm way too heavy, but I think it lives

1:02:00.880 --> 1:02:04.600
<v Speaker 1>on a superficial level. So let's it's just more I

1:02:04.600 --> 1:02:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I thought the exact same thing. I've tried to change

1:02:08.280 --> 1:02:11.880
<v Speaker 1>my behavior because when you're in a relationship, like you said, Mark,

1:02:11.960 --> 1:02:13.520
<v Speaker 1>your partner comes first and you have to put their

1:02:13.560 --> 1:02:18.600
<v Speaker 1>knees first. And of course sometimes sure we can come

1:02:18.600 --> 1:02:21.760
<v Speaker 1>off flirty when we're just being kind, but then you

1:02:21.840 --> 1:02:23.360
<v Speaker 1>kind of have to change your ways a little bit,

1:02:23.400 --> 1:02:25.400
<v Speaker 1>especially if you're in a committed relationship. I know that

1:02:25.480 --> 1:02:27.160
<v Speaker 1>might not sound right that you have to kind of

1:02:27.240 --> 1:02:30.000
<v Speaker 1>change who you are, especially living in today's world where

1:02:30.280 --> 1:02:32.520
<v Speaker 1>everybody just wants to be who they are and the

1:02:32.560 --> 1:02:35.200
<v Speaker 1>way they are, and I'm never gonna change for anybody.

1:02:35.280 --> 1:02:37.280
<v Speaker 1>I just don't think that's the way life works, and

1:02:37.320 --> 1:02:38.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it's the way life should work. I

1:02:38.840 --> 1:02:41.040
<v Speaker 1>think you should change and involve and try to better yourself,

1:02:41.040 --> 1:02:44.200
<v Speaker 1>specifically specifically for the person that you choose to spend

1:02:44.480 --> 1:02:47.600
<v Speaker 1>the rest of your life with, and then conversely with

1:02:47.600 --> 1:02:51.240
<v Speaker 1>with Ashley and myself. Ashley can sometimes be my wife.

1:02:51.240 --> 1:02:57.360
<v Speaker 1>Ashley can sometimes be very uh in awe of men.

1:02:58.080 --> 1:03:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I know that sounds weird, but she has always been

1:03:01.640 --> 1:03:04.720
<v Speaker 1>quote unquote a fan girl, uh, and it's kind of

1:03:04.840 --> 1:03:06.400
<v Speaker 1>she's built it a little bit of a career off

1:03:06.440 --> 1:03:09.160
<v Speaker 1>of it, being very well known for just being in

1:03:09.200 --> 1:03:11.640
<v Speaker 1>love with the Jonas brothers and boy bands and their

1:03:11.720 --> 1:03:15.440
<v Speaker 1>dreamy dreamy exactly. They are very, very dreaming. Joe Jonas

1:03:15.520 --> 1:03:19.200
<v Speaker 1>is a very handsome man. But even in her everyday life,

1:03:19.280 --> 1:03:23.920
<v Speaker 1>I can see her the way she acts towards certain guys, uh,

1:03:23.960 --> 1:03:26.520
<v Speaker 1>that she kind of gets giddy and it's not I

1:03:26.520 --> 1:03:30.240
<v Speaker 1>I trust my wife fully. We've had many conversations about

1:03:30.280 --> 1:03:33.320
<v Speaker 1>it where she is very honest about this is just

1:03:33.400 --> 1:03:35.800
<v Speaker 1>kind of the way I've always have been, and I'm

1:03:35.840 --> 1:03:38.080
<v Speaker 1>trying to change it for you, But I'm just She

1:03:38.200 --> 1:03:40.520
<v Speaker 1>was also never in a relationship, her first relationship as

1:03:40.560 --> 1:03:42.880
<v Speaker 1>a thirty years old, so she's never had to really

1:03:43.520 --> 1:03:46.120
<v Speaker 1>be aware of what her partner might think about that

1:03:46.760 --> 1:03:50.440
<v Speaker 1>um And so when we first started dating, it bothered

1:03:50.480 --> 1:03:53.240
<v Speaker 1>me a lot, for sure. And but go ahead, you're

1:03:53.240 --> 1:03:54.960
<v Speaker 1>gonna say something I was gonna ask. Don't you feel

1:03:55.240 --> 1:03:57.120
<v Speaker 1>excuse me? Don't you feel kind of guilty about, like

1:03:57.480 --> 1:03:59.640
<v Speaker 1>if this is like something that's so embedded in Ashley's

1:03:59.720 --> 1:04:02.040
<v Speaker 1>care and then you kind of come along and you're like, well,

1:04:02.040 --> 1:04:03.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't feel comfortable with this, Like could you change

1:04:03.960 --> 1:04:05.520
<v Speaker 1>it a little bit? Don't you feel kind of guilty

1:04:05.600 --> 1:04:07.320
<v Speaker 1>for like asking her to change like something that's kind

1:04:07.360 --> 1:04:10.560
<v Speaker 1>of like her outer core at times? But she asked

1:04:10.600 --> 1:04:12.240
<v Speaker 1>me to change a lot of things as well, and

1:04:12.280 --> 1:04:14.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm more than I want to change. That's the thing.

1:04:15.280 --> 1:04:17.560
<v Speaker 1>I think both of us want to change for each

1:04:17.600 --> 1:04:20.440
<v Speaker 1>other because we have chosen each other well. And I

1:04:20.440 --> 1:04:22.280
<v Speaker 1>think that's what you get at the core of it,

1:04:22.360 --> 1:04:24.920
<v Speaker 1>is that, sure, there are certain things. Of course, you

1:04:24.920 --> 1:04:28.160
<v Speaker 1>have to draw a line. Anybody can use common sense,

1:04:28.160 --> 1:04:30.200
<v Speaker 1>and I hope people are able to use common sense

1:04:30.200 --> 1:04:32.600
<v Speaker 1>with this conversation and realize there are some things that

1:04:32.640 --> 1:04:34.760
<v Speaker 1>maybe you should try to change for your partner to

1:04:34.800 --> 1:04:37.160
<v Speaker 1>better yourself and better your relationship. And then of course

1:04:37.200 --> 1:04:39.560
<v Speaker 1>there are other things that you shouldn't change. For example,

1:04:39.720 --> 1:04:41.400
<v Speaker 1>if your partner is saying, hey, I don't want you

1:04:41.440 --> 1:04:43.600
<v Speaker 1>spend spending that much time with your family. I want

1:04:43.640 --> 1:04:45.560
<v Speaker 1>you spending time with me and my family, then you

1:04:45.600 --> 1:04:47.120
<v Speaker 1>have to draw a line and say, hey, listen, these

1:04:47.160 --> 1:04:49.000
<v Speaker 1>are very important people in my life, so on and

1:04:49.040 --> 1:04:54.040
<v Speaker 1>so forth. But certain things, characteristics, behaviors, uh, things that

1:04:54.160 --> 1:04:57.160
<v Speaker 1>I have done that I'm trying to change. Um. I

1:04:57.840 --> 1:05:00.520
<v Speaker 1>think it's just an open dialogue about things that make

1:05:00.560 --> 1:05:03.920
<v Speaker 1>me feel uncomfortable with things that make her feel uncomfortable

1:05:04.000 --> 1:05:07.800
<v Speaker 1>that I do, and trying to evolve and better our relationship.

1:05:07.880 --> 1:05:11.000
<v Speaker 1>There there's another aspect on another level, as you get

1:05:11.040 --> 1:05:14.160
<v Speaker 1>deeper into relationships about the flirting thing, is that because

1:05:14.280 --> 1:05:16.360
<v Speaker 1>you you made it clear for me when you talked

1:05:16.360 --> 1:05:20.120
<v Speaker 1>about you observing Ashley kind of flirty or on her

1:05:20.680 --> 1:05:23.560
<v Speaker 1>on her cute she turns on the cute light right,

1:05:23.640 --> 1:05:28.480
<v Speaker 1>and she's actually you said she has changed. Well, so

1:05:28.600 --> 1:05:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I guess that's the question of whether it's right or wrong.

1:05:31.080 --> 1:05:35.000
<v Speaker 1>But then there's this part we as partners and relationships

1:05:35.040 --> 1:05:38.880
<v Speaker 1>have to trust the other person, and flirting with other

1:05:38.960 --> 1:05:42.080
<v Speaker 1>people makes us feel alive. Makes her feel alive and

1:05:42.120 --> 1:05:46.520
<v Speaker 1>excited and tingly. And it's look, watch sitcoms. It's always

1:05:46.520 --> 1:05:48.280
<v Speaker 1>in the sitcom they always do this thing. Oh why

1:05:48.280 --> 1:05:51.240
<v Speaker 1>did you? You know? The paramedics are coming over and

1:05:51.240 --> 1:05:54.840
<v Speaker 1>you put makeup on? You know, that whole trip. When

1:05:54.880 --> 1:05:56.880
<v Speaker 1>we're in a relationship where we really trust and love

1:05:56.960 --> 1:06:00.640
<v Speaker 1>one another, we can allow them to explore of that. Wow,

1:06:00.640 --> 1:06:03.720
<v Speaker 1>it's I love Leslie Man and the movies that Judd

1:06:03.720 --> 1:06:05.800
<v Speaker 1>Apatow does, And sometimes it's like, you know, but I

1:06:05.840 --> 1:06:07.320
<v Speaker 1>just want to know that I'm hot enough that a

1:06:07.400 --> 1:06:09.440
<v Speaker 1>dude wants to you know, you would you would do

1:06:09.480 --> 1:06:11.560
<v Speaker 1>sex with me? She said right in that movie. And

1:06:11.720 --> 1:06:14.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I get that, So go go sport fish

1:06:14.960 --> 1:06:18.320
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. I'm home. We're good. If it's too much,

1:06:18.320 --> 1:06:20.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna say, yo, slow your roll. But I mean,

1:06:20.840 --> 1:06:23.000
<v Speaker 1>but I'm more I'm more guilty of it than she is.

1:06:23.040 --> 1:06:25.520
<v Speaker 1>But it's part of her feeling alive. I kind of

1:06:25.520 --> 1:06:27.760
<v Speaker 1>don't want to robberr that either. It's sexy, of course,

1:06:27.800 --> 1:06:30.240
<v Speaker 1>and I've gotten a lot better with it because we're

1:06:30.280 --> 1:06:32.720
<v Speaker 1>more secure in our relationship. But when we first started dating,

1:06:32.720 --> 1:06:35.480
<v Speaker 1>in those first few months, I had a very difficult

1:06:35.480 --> 1:06:37.640
<v Speaker 1>time dealing with for sure, and it's all about how

1:06:37.680 --> 1:06:39.960
<v Speaker 1>we feel about ourselves. And it wasn't It was weird

1:06:40.000 --> 1:06:43.000
<v Speaker 1>and the way I rationalized it because it wasn't that

1:06:43.120 --> 1:06:44.680
<v Speaker 1>I think she wanted to cheat on me or be

1:06:44.760 --> 1:06:48.280
<v Speaker 1>with this person more. It was just the I yeah,

1:06:48.440 --> 1:06:51.000
<v Speaker 1>it's the idea of like, I know that you think

1:06:51.040 --> 1:06:53.520
<v Speaker 1>that person is cute, and that is really pissing me off.

1:06:53.560 --> 1:06:55.080
<v Speaker 1>And I know that's life and there's nothing I can

1:06:55.080 --> 1:06:56.960
<v Speaker 1>do about it. There's many good looking people in this world.

1:06:56.960 --> 1:06:59.440
<v Speaker 1>There's many people with different connections. But for some reason

1:06:59.440 --> 1:07:01.320
<v Speaker 1>in my head, it was really hard for me to

1:07:01.320 --> 1:07:04.080
<v Speaker 1>be like, I'm just I'm seeing the person i'm with

1:07:04.680 --> 1:07:07.440
<v Speaker 1>look at someone who's very good looking and looking with

1:07:07.480 --> 1:07:09.880
<v Speaker 1>google eyes. Not that she wants to be with them,

1:07:09.880 --> 1:07:12.480
<v Speaker 1>but just like the fact that she just can't hide like,

1:07:12.520 --> 1:07:15.680
<v Speaker 1>oh wow, this is a very very good person. We

1:07:15.760 --> 1:07:19.480
<v Speaker 1>want them to bekind blind to anybody In the album

1:07:20.360 --> 1:07:23.560
<v Speaker 1>No and I'm saying, our ego wants that ego wants

1:07:23.600 --> 1:07:25.920
<v Speaker 1>us to go. Oh, you know, Hugh Jackman walked in

1:07:26.000 --> 1:07:30.120
<v Speaker 1>the room and whatever. I'm down with them, old Mark Wall. Yeah.

1:07:30.160 --> 1:07:33.240
<v Speaker 1>And now it's it's way different now where I agree

1:07:33.240 --> 1:07:35.080
<v Speaker 1>with you, where it's like, oh, actually is doing her

1:07:35.080 --> 1:07:37.480
<v Speaker 1>thing or even me personally. You know, she saw we

1:07:37.480 --> 1:07:40.919
<v Speaker 1>were at a Taylor Swift. We were at Heart Radio

1:07:40.960 --> 1:07:43.760
<v Speaker 1>and Taylor Swift came out and forget it, yeah, she

1:07:43.880 --> 1:07:45.320
<v Speaker 1>just I was. I looked at her and I was like,

1:07:45.360 --> 1:07:48.800
<v Speaker 1>holy c Like, I just I never have seen Taylor

1:07:48.840 --> 1:07:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Swift like she's never been that. She's a very tractive woman,

1:07:51.680 --> 1:07:53.360
<v Speaker 1>but I've never looked at her that way. And then

1:07:53.360 --> 1:07:55.680
<v Speaker 1>she came out on stage and I've first actually looked

1:07:55.680 --> 1:07:58.120
<v Speaker 1>at me, and she's like, you think Taylor Swift super

1:07:58.160 --> 1:07:59.640
<v Speaker 1>hot right now? I was like, no, I just I

1:07:59.640 --> 1:08:02.280
<v Speaker 1>don't know what I'm thinking right now. So which we've

1:08:02.320 --> 1:08:05.120
<v Speaker 1>grown that? Which way is the shared experience of every

1:08:05.120 --> 1:08:07.280
<v Speaker 1>man who's been with Taylor Swim. Yeah, I don't know

1:08:07.280 --> 1:08:09.200
<v Speaker 1>what I'm thinking right now. Yeah, it's like I I

1:08:09.560 --> 1:08:11.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, because you don't want admit be like, yeah,

1:08:11.120 --> 1:08:16.559
<v Speaker 1>she's unbelievably hot, so unbelievably adorable. But so we've certainly

1:08:16.600 --> 1:08:18.240
<v Speaker 1>grown in that and grown trust and be able to

1:08:18.240 --> 1:08:20.719
<v Speaker 1>talk about it more. But specifically in the beginning relationship,

1:08:20.760 --> 1:08:22.680
<v Speaker 1>it really was bothering me. And obviously there's a lot

1:08:22.680 --> 1:08:24.479
<v Speaker 1>of things that I probably was doing that bothered her

1:08:24.479 --> 1:08:27.080
<v Speaker 1>as well. But um just my wife said to me,

1:08:27.479 --> 1:08:30.200
<v Speaker 1>you should be on Dancing with the Stars and I'm like, great,

1:08:30.240 --> 1:08:32.200
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to do that, and she then she'd watched

1:08:32.240 --> 1:08:33.720
<v Speaker 1>it some more. She says, but she can't be on

1:08:33.720 --> 1:08:36.519
<v Speaker 1>with Julian Huff. And then I worked with Julien Huff

1:08:36.560 --> 1:08:39.559
<v Speaker 1>and I was googly. I can barely deal she. Have

1:08:39.600 --> 1:08:42.439
<v Speaker 1>you've ever seen her? I mean, she's so adorable. I

1:08:42.479 --> 1:08:44.559
<v Speaker 1>think when she farts, cotton candy comes out. It's like,

1:08:45.479 --> 1:08:47.840
<v Speaker 1>she's the cutest thing you've ever seen. And I was

1:08:48.080 --> 1:08:50.519
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, you know, much older than her, and

1:08:50.560 --> 1:08:54.320
<v Speaker 1>there's no vibe and she's whatever. But I'd literally like,

1:08:55.080 --> 1:08:57.240
<v Speaker 1>should I wear this tire that time? You know, because

1:08:57.280 --> 1:08:59.519
<v Speaker 1>Julie had and I had to say to Robbie and

1:08:59.560 --> 1:09:01.200
<v Speaker 1>she gets it, But you know, what do you think

1:09:01.200 --> 1:09:04.479
<v Speaker 1>about this? I think that I think we've covered it

1:09:04.560 --> 1:09:09.799
<v Speaker 1>all your opinion what are we talking about again? Um? Learning?

1:09:10.040 --> 1:09:11.880
<v Speaker 1>Because I know a big thing for you is that

1:09:11.920 --> 1:09:14.559
<v Speaker 1>you don't want I don't impede anyone. I don't like

1:09:14.600 --> 1:09:18.880
<v Speaker 1>impede Kalin's uh ability to explore and be curious and

1:09:18.880 --> 1:09:20.519
<v Speaker 1>talk to people. So I have always just like do

1:09:20.680 --> 1:09:23.639
<v Speaker 1>you I appreciate it. I support it. She like has

1:09:23.800 --> 1:09:25.720
<v Speaker 1>a lot of guy friends that she gets dinner with

1:09:25.840 --> 1:09:30.320
<v Speaker 1>very occasionally. Do you ever s jealousy? No? I used

1:09:30.320 --> 1:09:32.200
<v Speaker 1>to be prett jealous. No, No, I'm like I'm very secure.

1:09:32.360 --> 1:09:34.639
<v Speaker 1>Like I know she's like obsessed with me, which is great.

1:09:34.680 --> 1:09:36.080
<v Speaker 1>It's like actually like one of the things that I

1:09:36.080 --> 1:09:38.360
<v Speaker 1>like most about her. And so I'm like, go have

1:09:38.439 --> 1:09:39.960
<v Speaker 1>your guy friends, go flirt with them if you want

1:09:39.960 --> 1:09:41.080
<v Speaker 1>to flirt with them. But like, I know, at the

1:09:41.160 --> 1:09:42.719
<v Speaker 1>end of the day, like you're still gonna like really

1:09:42.720 --> 1:09:44.479
<v Speaker 1>like me. So I'm not concerned about it, you know

1:09:44.479 --> 1:09:46.360
<v Speaker 1>what I mean. Do you think maybe I'm not saying

1:09:46.400 --> 1:09:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Calin is doing this, but maybe in past relationships she

1:09:48.680 --> 1:09:52.000
<v Speaker 1>actively tries to talk to other guys to see your reaction.

1:09:52.560 --> 1:09:54.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't think she does that, not with me. I

1:09:54.080 --> 1:09:56.960
<v Speaker 1>mean maybe in past relationships, but I've experienced that at all,

1:09:57.040 --> 1:09:58.760
<v Speaker 1>So I'm always like, and that's kind of the thing

1:09:58.800 --> 1:10:02.320
<v Speaker 1>that I'd like going back too. Yeah, I think it's

1:10:02.360 --> 1:10:05.000
<v Speaker 1>not not the worst thing, and like we're very open

1:10:05.040 --> 1:10:08.480
<v Speaker 1>about it too. Like I have like this crazy celebrity

1:10:08.479 --> 1:10:11.000
<v Speaker 1>crush on Alexis Rand and I'm always like, oh, Alexis Ranch,

1:10:11.000 --> 1:10:13.080
<v Speaker 1>She's so pretty, and she's like, Caleen gets upset with

1:10:13.120 --> 1:10:14.400
<v Speaker 1>me when I say that, but like it's just like

1:10:14.479 --> 1:10:16.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm just being honest with her, Like I think, you know,

1:10:16.320 --> 1:10:17.920
<v Speaker 1>it's just like the one person I think is like

1:10:17.920 --> 1:10:19.880
<v Speaker 1>really like the one Instagram model that I follow on

1:10:19.920 --> 1:10:21.920
<v Speaker 1>Instagram or whatever. You know. Well, I guess my question

1:10:22.000 --> 1:10:25.800
<v Speaker 1>is going back to a hall pass. The idea of

1:10:25.800 --> 1:10:28.439
<v Speaker 1>a hall pass. We all agreed that is, if if

1:10:28.479 --> 1:10:30.800
<v Speaker 1>you didn't get jealous of your significant other they're having

1:10:30.800 --> 1:10:34.040
<v Speaker 1>a hall pass, that's probably a big red flag. Obviously,

1:10:34.080 --> 1:10:36.080
<v Speaker 1>this is not to the extent, but the idea of

1:10:36.400 --> 1:10:39.880
<v Speaker 1>a partner not getting jealous about someone going on dates

1:10:39.880 --> 1:10:44.200
<v Speaker 1>with you, whatever sex they're attracted to, without you being there.

1:10:44.560 --> 1:10:46.599
<v Speaker 1>I'm wonder if that's a good sign or a bad sign,

1:10:46.640 --> 1:10:49.240
<v Speaker 1>if you don't feel even a little level of jealousy

1:10:49.360 --> 1:10:54.200
<v Speaker 1>and saying I wanted to be you. But I'm a

1:10:54.240 --> 1:10:56.920
<v Speaker 1>little upset right now. Yeah, I don't know. I don't

1:10:56.920 --> 1:10:58.000
<v Speaker 1>know what the right answer is. I don't know if

1:10:58.040 --> 1:11:00.400
<v Speaker 1>there's a right answer. Every hall Pass movie or sitcom

1:11:00.479 --> 1:11:02.760
<v Speaker 1>that does this plot line has it down to the

1:11:02.800 --> 1:11:06.120
<v Speaker 1>moment where you're gonna close and then more shows up.

1:11:06.160 --> 1:11:07.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't mean hall Pass in general, I just meaning

1:11:07.720 --> 1:11:09.960
<v Speaker 1>the jealousy of hanging out with someone for sure when

1:11:10.000 --> 1:11:11.960
<v Speaker 1>you're not there. But I think Dean hit it on

1:11:12.000 --> 1:11:15.000
<v Speaker 1>the head. You know, at some point you get to

1:11:15.000 --> 1:11:16.519
<v Speaker 1>a point where you hope to get to a point

1:11:16.560 --> 1:11:18.880
<v Speaker 1>in relationship where you're on the same page that you

1:11:18.960 --> 1:11:23.280
<v Speaker 1>had this unspoken spoken language like I see you and

1:11:23.320 --> 1:11:28.080
<v Speaker 1>you see me, like legitimately. And so if my wife,

1:11:28.120 --> 1:11:31.479
<v Speaker 1>for instance, was in the original Friday the Thirteenth movie, right,

1:11:31.920 --> 1:11:35.000
<v Speaker 1>so occasionally awesome, not just awesome. She was the first

1:11:35.040 --> 1:11:39.599
<v Speaker 1>one killed, like she's like like the historic and slasher films,

1:11:39.640 --> 1:11:42.519
<v Speaker 1>so sick. So occasionally she goes and does these cons

1:11:42.600 --> 1:11:45.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, in science autographs that she doesn't really enjoy doing,

1:11:45.400 --> 1:11:47.519
<v Speaker 1>but she does it. And the last one she went

1:11:47.600 --> 1:11:50.720
<v Speaker 1>to I couldn't go with her. And she still looks

1:11:50.760 --> 1:11:52.920
<v Speaker 1>really great. She looks like she did in the movie. Yeah,

1:11:53.000 --> 1:11:55.040
<v Speaker 1>But also I got to interject, you guys been married

1:11:55.040 --> 1:11:57.439
<v Speaker 1>for how long now thirty two. It doesn't necessarily make

1:11:57.439 --> 1:12:00.120
<v Speaker 1>it easier. I'm not saying it makes it, but it

1:12:00.200 --> 1:12:02.599
<v Speaker 1>changes it. Well, that's what I was saying. There's another level.

1:12:03.080 --> 1:12:07.960
<v Speaker 1>So in that weekend when she's back and these fans

1:12:07.960 --> 1:12:09.559
<v Speaker 1>are there and other people that have been in the

1:12:09.600 --> 1:12:11.599
<v Speaker 1>movie back in the day are seeing her again after

1:12:11.680 --> 1:12:14.840
<v Speaker 1>thirty semo years, she still looks great. Everybody else has

1:12:14.840 --> 1:12:17.760
<v Speaker 1>fallen off the wagon, you know, and she got a

1:12:17.800 --> 1:12:20.120
<v Speaker 1>lot of attention, and she came back with a little

1:12:20.160 --> 1:12:23.400
<v Speaker 1>bit more swagger than I was comfortable with. But because

1:12:23.439 --> 1:12:26.720
<v Speaker 1>I love her, I know that we have to fill up.

1:12:26.880 --> 1:12:29.439
<v Speaker 1>Ego is part of it. It's an ugly, ugly beast,

1:12:29.479 --> 1:12:32.599
<v Speaker 1>but the ego is part of it. And look, at

1:12:32.640 --> 1:12:34.800
<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, like Dean said, I know

1:12:34.880 --> 1:12:37.600
<v Speaker 1>she adores me. I don't really have to worry about that,

1:12:37.640 --> 1:12:41.040
<v Speaker 1>which is a blessing, right, But it does sting a

1:12:41.040 --> 1:12:43.800
<v Speaker 1>little bit, you know when you think of other people

1:12:43.840 --> 1:12:46.439
<v Speaker 1>flirting with your wife. But then that sting is also

1:12:46.520 --> 1:12:49.880
<v Speaker 1>really great. That sting reminds you where you're at, Like

1:12:49.920 --> 1:12:52.320
<v Speaker 1>I was saying, if you don't care, then it's a problem.

1:12:52.400 --> 1:12:54.559
<v Speaker 1>And I love her enough to let her have the

1:12:54.600 --> 1:12:56.760
<v Speaker 1>ego boosts. Look, I'm in show business. Every time I

1:12:56.760 --> 1:12:58.760
<v Speaker 1>walk around, some girl that's way out of my league

1:12:58.840 --> 1:13:00.880
<v Speaker 1>because they saw me on TV says something really sweet

1:13:00.920 --> 1:13:03.160
<v Speaker 1>about me that they don't really mean. But because I'm

1:13:03.200 --> 1:13:05.280
<v Speaker 1>on TV, and I wear it like there since here,

1:13:05.280 --> 1:13:07.439
<v Speaker 1>like I probably could have clothed that, right, And I

1:13:07.520 --> 1:13:10.599
<v Speaker 1>walk around with this like confidence and excitement because I'm

1:13:10.600 --> 1:13:12.639
<v Speaker 1>getting a lot of strokes a lot of times, right,

1:13:12.920 --> 1:13:17.720
<v Speaker 1>And and it's hypocritical to think that I don't like it. No,

1:13:17.840 --> 1:13:20.479
<v Speaker 1>of course everybody likes it, right, And my wife has

1:13:20.479 --> 1:13:23.080
<v Speaker 1>had to come to terms with you know, that's the business.

1:13:23.120 --> 1:13:26.679
<v Speaker 1>And you know, when he's out there being TV's Mark Wahlberg,

1:13:26.720 --> 1:13:28.960
<v Speaker 1>he's adorable. And then I get this really depressed guy

1:13:29.000 --> 1:13:30.960
<v Speaker 1>on the couch at home, And why do I get

1:13:31.000 --> 1:13:32.720
<v Speaker 1>that guy? When they get that guy? And so I

1:13:32.760 --> 1:13:34.160
<v Speaker 1>have to look at it and say, when she goes

1:13:34.160 --> 1:13:36.559
<v Speaker 1>out and she's Robbie Morgan from the movie and people

1:13:36.600 --> 1:13:39.759
<v Speaker 1>are all about it, she gets to have that. Of course,

1:13:39.840 --> 1:13:42.559
<v Speaker 1>I think. My what I'm saying is that there's a

1:13:42.560 --> 1:13:46.680
<v Speaker 1>difference between dealing with that when you're in a committed relationship, Like,

1:13:46.680 --> 1:13:49.120
<v Speaker 1>there's a big difference with me dealing in with it

1:13:49.240 --> 1:13:52.160
<v Speaker 1>now as a married man. Then there was you know,

1:13:52.200 --> 1:13:54.799
<v Speaker 1>a month and a half, two months into the relationships

1:13:55.400 --> 1:13:57.000
<v Speaker 1>thirty two years down the line. We can have this

1:13:57.080 --> 1:14:00.280
<v Speaker 1>conversation first year down the line. I'm not so or

1:14:00.320 --> 1:14:03.440
<v Speaker 1>either one of us wants to see anybody flirting around exactly,

1:14:03.520 --> 1:14:05.600
<v Speaker 1>And so you kind of have to four months in

1:14:05.720 --> 1:14:09.920
<v Speaker 1>right here, mark four months in right here, listen. But

1:14:10.280 --> 1:14:14.280
<v Speaker 1>your four months in and you're communicating, you know, and

1:14:14.360 --> 1:14:17.519
<v Speaker 1>that's important. That's it. Look it sounds like, honest to god,

1:14:17.560 --> 1:14:20.240
<v Speaker 1>I really think you and uh is it Caitlin or Caitlin?

1:14:21.720 --> 1:14:25.000
<v Speaker 1>I think that's uh from what I'm hearing, I'm you're

1:14:25.000 --> 1:14:28.439
<v Speaker 1>you're pretty Uh, you're doing good. I appreciate that from

1:14:28.479 --> 1:14:31.960
<v Speaker 1>the man himself. Well, listen, I'm just like somebody tweeted

1:14:32.000 --> 1:14:34.760
<v Speaker 1>me today, You're like, you know, like I said, I'm not.

1:14:34.840 --> 1:14:37.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't have any credential accept life experience. We're all

1:14:37.880 --> 1:14:39.519
<v Speaker 1>trying to figure it out, you know, and it's the

1:14:39.560 --> 1:14:41.600
<v Speaker 1>mistakes that make us better, all right, So that'll do

1:14:41.600 --> 1:14:43.760
<v Speaker 1>it for this week's episode, um, Mark, thank you for

1:14:43.880 --> 1:14:46.200
<v Speaker 1>joining us. Be sure to tune in if you're listening

1:14:46.240 --> 1:14:49.839
<v Speaker 1>to this To Temptation Island season two, it's four couples

1:14:49.920 --> 1:14:52.439
<v Speaker 1>that are continuously tempted by twenty four singles, putting each

1:14:52.439 --> 1:14:56.320
<v Speaker 1>relationship to the ultimate test. It's on USA Network every

1:14:56.360 --> 1:14:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Thursday at ten pm. You'll see Mark on your screen.

1:15:00.000 --> 1:15:02.080
<v Speaker 1>You get to put a beautiful face to this beautiful voice,

1:15:02.200 --> 1:15:05.840
<v Speaker 1>and everything we've been talking about actually actualizes on the

1:15:05.840 --> 1:15:10.040
<v Speaker 1>show in an extreme manner. And if you like last season,

1:15:10.680 --> 1:15:14.439
<v Speaker 1>this is just ridiculous. Can you give us a little

1:15:14.439 --> 1:15:16.559
<v Speaker 1>teaser on what we might see this season versus last season?

1:15:16.800 --> 1:15:18.519
<v Speaker 1>All I'll tell you is the last season there were

1:15:18.560 --> 1:15:19.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot of tears. When you get to hers that

1:15:19.960 --> 1:15:22.720
<v Speaker 1>final bomfire, you know, it's really emotional. I will tell

1:15:22.760 --> 1:15:28.920
<v Speaker 1>you that more than once I've held people of both

1:15:28.960 --> 1:15:33.559
<v Speaker 1>sexes in my arms as they sobbed. So that not

1:15:33.560 --> 1:15:36.200
<v Speaker 1>not a role you normally see. Well, it is sad

1:15:36.240 --> 1:15:38.880
<v Speaker 1>in the moment, but in the end, you know, those

1:15:38.880 --> 1:15:42.799
<v Speaker 1>moments are cathartic, and like I said, last season, sometimes

1:15:42.800 --> 1:15:44.960
<v Speaker 1>we learned lessons that we take to our next relationship

1:15:45.000 --> 1:15:46.720
<v Speaker 1>that don't apply to the when we're in and as

1:15:46.800 --> 1:15:48.519
<v Speaker 1>as a viewer, there's nothing you love to see more

1:15:48.560 --> 1:15:52.040
<v Speaker 1>than someone just sobbing their eyes out. That's all that's real,

1:15:52.120 --> 1:15:54.080
<v Speaker 1>that's authentic. Let me tell you something. There's a reason

1:15:54.120 --> 1:15:55.920
<v Speaker 1>we want to take a nap and feel peaceful after

1:15:55.960 --> 1:16:00.320
<v Speaker 1>we sob. There's a physiological thing that we have to

1:16:00.400 --> 1:16:04.639
<v Speaker 1>cry hard and it it gives us peace. So there's

1:16:04.680 --> 1:16:08.400
<v Speaker 1>actually a reason that we get so built up and

1:16:08.479 --> 1:16:10.880
<v Speaker 1>we releast sob it out and then we feel better

1:16:10.920 --> 1:16:12.720
<v Speaker 1>on the other end. There you go. So if you

1:16:12.800 --> 1:16:14.439
<v Speaker 1>got something building up, just go ahead and sob for

1:16:14.439 --> 1:16:17.840
<v Speaker 1>a long I'm gonna try right after the UM of

1:16:17.880 --> 1:16:21.200
<v Speaker 1>course the Vanessa News. Vanessa, we love you, we always

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<v Speaker 1>will love you, and I'm sure we'll see her. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think this will be the last time we

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<v Speaker 1>hear from Vanessa in the podcast. I mean, listen, you're

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<v Speaker 1>always on the go. I'm always here just waiting to

1:16:32.200 --> 1:16:34.880
<v Speaker 1>recording podcasts. But if one of us ever needs a fill,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm sure Vanessa could jump in dutifully and take

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<v Speaker 1>care of that very much. So big to our sponsors,

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<v Speaker 1>our listeners of course, as well, producers, UM, every one

1:16:42.960 --> 1:16:46.080
<v Speaker 1>of them except for Tori uh be here so much

1:16:46.120 --> 1:16:48.920
<v Speaker 1>for your questions too. We really appreciate you guys taking

1:16:48.920 --> 1:16:51.679
<v Speaker 1>the time and commenting on the help my Second Dating Instagram.

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<v Speaker 1>And next week Jared will be recording from nap. But

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<v Speaker 1>I think next week is you. Next week is me

1:16:58.320 --> 1:17:01.960
<v Speaker 1>recording by myself. Okay, hey, I'll be back next week

1:17:01.960 --> 1:17:05.920
<v Speaker 1>by myself to be here to tune in then, because

1:17:05.960 --> 1:17:08.639
<v Speaker 1>maybe I will suck just a little bit less. Follow

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<v Speaker 1>help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared

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<v Speaker 1>on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast