Speaker 1: Look out. It's only films to be buried with the
Speaker 1: Rewind classic Hello everyone, opia, Well it's the films to
Speaker 1: be buried with Rewind Classics. Now, for those who have
Speaker 1: missed the last couple of weeks, I've been taking a
Speaker 1: few weeks off to concentrate on filming. I hope that's okay.
Speaker 1: But in the meantime, I'm releasing some of my all time,
Speaker 1: all time, all time favorite episodes. And this week is
Speaker 1: the first time mister Romes Fangnation came on. We recorded this.
Speaker 1: I think this was like the first two months of Lockdown.
Speaker 1: First month, I can't remember. I think it all comes
Speaker 1: clear on the podcast. Anyway. If you don't know Romes,
Speaker 1: of course you do, stop lying about it. He's an
Speaker 1: award winner. He's on everything, he's in everything. He's consistently brilliant.
Speaker 1: He's a national treasure. I love him. You love him.
Speaker 1: This is a really special episode. And if you want
Speaker 1: all the extra content, the videos, the ad, free full
Speaker 1: uncut extra questions, the secrets from the guests, you can
Speaker 1: find all that and more over at patreon dot com
Speaker 1: Forward slash Brett Goldstein. That's all over there. I'll be
Speaker 1: releasing some new episodes very soon already recorded on They're brilliant.
Speaker 1: You're going to love it, But in the meantime that's
Speaker 1: it for now. I very much hope you enjoy this
Speaker 1: rewind classic with romesh Ranger Nathan of Films to be
Speaker 1: Buried With, Hello, and welcome to Films to be Buried With.
Speaker 1: It is I Brett Goldstein and I am joined today
Speaker 1: via a Internet connection with a podcaster, an actor, a writer,
Speaker 1: a presenter, a track have, a league of their owner,
Speaker 1: a family man, a stand up comedian, and frankly, let's
Speaker 1: call him what he is, a national treasure. Please welcome
Speaker 1: to the show, the brilliant Rom's like an apen, Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. A lot of that was bullshit, but thank you.
Speaker 1: Thanks for doing this from its bright It's an absolute
Speaker 1: honor to be on your podcast. Mate. Look, I know
Speaker 1: you won't say it, but I've been texting you sort
Speaker 1: of sporadically since you started for about a year now, yeah,
Speaker 1: since you started doing this podcast, because you don't seem
Speaker 1: to want me on it. What I found is every
Speaker 1: every three or four months, I get a text from
Speaker 1: ROMESK just going what the fuck? And I know what
Speaker 1: it means? And it's usually the day the podcast comes
Speaker 1: out with someone on it that isn't him, and I thought,
Speaker 1: the guy needs a break. So so I finally you know,
Speaker 1: so thank you listen. Thank you for you know, I
Speaker 1: guess I need to fill some guests, but thank you
Speaker 1: for doing this and I appreciate it. It's very exciting. Now.
Speaker 1: I ain't seen you in a world for many reasons.
Speaker 1: One't because we're in lockdown, and two because of all
Speaker 1: the people I know, i'd say you're the most workaholic.
Speaker 1: You're in the top three. Okay, and here if I've
Speaker 1: got some things I wanted to ask you about. One
Speaker 1: is I think you're phenomenal. I'm a huge, huge fan,
Speaker 1: always have been. And what you've done, which is very rare,
Speaker 1: is somehow you've got to the stage where you're in everything,
Speaker 1: but it's not annoying. Well, I think I think you.
Speaker 1: I don't think everyone shares that opinion, mate, I don't
Speaker 1: know what's happened. I don't think you think national treasure
Speaker 1: means the same thing that I do, because national treasure
Speaker 1: to me means somebody who's nationally treasured. That that sort
Speaker 1: of buy. It's great definition. And I'm so far from that.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't even think I'm a county treasure Jeman.
Speaker 1: So you're a postcode treasure. Very big, great, great. That's
Speaker 1: so the other thing that you do, which I found
Speaker 1: personally has done to him because I think I would
Speaker 1: very much struggled with it. Did you work a lot
Speaker 1: with your family and as your shows have grain, you
Speaker 1: not just work with your mum, but your wife and
Speaker 1: kids and uncles and cousins. I mean, that's extraordinary. How
Speaker 1: do you cope? The mom thing sort of happened by
Speaker 1: accident just because when we're doing Asian Provocator we thought
Speaker 1: would be funny. So that is, I'll be honest with you,
Speaker 1: that feels amazing actually in a way. I mean I
Speaker 1: talk about it. I've talked about it on stage. How
Speaker 1: frustrating I find it that she's become this breakout star
Speaker 1: or whatever. And she she is reliable and consistently funny
Speaker 1: on everything that we get her in on. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that is great. But she also you know, when my dad,
Speaker 1: my dad passed away few years ago, but when my brother,
Speaker 1: my mum and I both went through a horrendous like
Speaker 1: my mom had a horrendous time bringing us up and so,
Speaker 1: and there was a time when anything like this would
Speaker 1: have felt like it would never you know, nothing like
Speaker 1: this we could have ever imagined. So seeing my mum
Speaker 1: enjoy being on TV and stuff like that, take away
Speaker 1: the fact that she's put zero effort into the craft
Speaker 1: of it or anything like that, and that is obviously
Speaker 1: as an artist, that is frustrating. But take that all
Speaker 1: the way and it is an amazing thing. Lisa and
Speaker 1: the kids, Lisa and the kids, my wife and kids.
Speaker 1: I would describe that as do I slightly regret that
Speaker 1: I do regret. I do have regrets about that, to
Speaker 1: be HONESTE, Lisa hates being on TV. She hates if
Speaker 1: anybody recognizes her. Not that she resents it, it's just
Speaker 1: she doesn't want any attention at all. She is the
Speaker 1: opposite of my mum in terms of her attitude towards us,
Speaker 1: towards this whole thing. So like if I if I
Speaker 1: ever get recognized when I'm with Lisa, she will disappear
Speaker 1: like I'd look round and she's gone much. She just
Speaker 1: hates anything like that. And I did manage to convince
Speaker 1: her to be involved in this shard did call justin
Speaker 1: I've immigrant we went to la and I tried to
Speaker 1: sell out the Greek in three months or whatever, and
Speaker 1: I loved it. Oh, thanks very much, and you are
Speaker 1: one of I would say maybe fifteen people who saw
Speaker 1: it and loved it, So that's so thank you. You're
Speaker 1: amongst an elite group. It was the same amount of
Speaker 1: people that came to the Greek. I think the only
Speaker 1: people that watched the show were the people looking out
Speaker 1: for themselves in the gig at the end of the ses.
Speaker 1: But Lisa, she agreed to do it because they were
Speaker 1: intergral to the show, the whole thing of uprooting your
Speaker 1: family and taking him over there. But she didn't enjoy.
Speaker 1: She did not enjoy. I think she enjoyed the process.
Speaker 1: She didn't enjoy. If I'd said to her, we've made
Speaker 1: the show and that's going to get locked away in
Speaker 1: a vault or something, she would have been, Oh, that's great,
Speaker 1: that was a fun experience. It's the actual coming out
Speaker 1: and then people coming up to and going, oh, saw
Speaker 1: you on this thing? She just yeah, she doesn't enjoy
Speaker 1: any of that, being recognized, any of that show. She
Speaker 1: hates it. To anuine question, you might not answer, did
Speaker 1: you ever find yourself when you're shooting scenes with your family,
Speaker 1: particularly with your wife and children, where you're frustrated, where
Speaker 1: you're thinking do that better, say that better? Or like no,
Speaker 1: it doesn't I guess because a lot of that show
Speaker 1: is you kind of you go with what happens. And
Speaker 1: Lisa in a way as if you if you looked
Speaker 1: at as sitcom characters and this is not might not
Speaker 1: make sense if you haven't watched a show. But like so,
Speaker 1: my uncle Rags, he is a great sitcom device because
Speaker 1: he's so nuts you buy him suggesting anything. I mean,
Speaker 1: So that's really useful to have someone like him in
Speaker 1: the show. And my Mum is a very good character
Speaker 1: in terms of taking me down or undermining me or whatever.
Speaker 1: So she's all and she's always going to do that.
Speaker 1: That's in her nature to do that, right, And Lisa
Speaker 1: is probably the trickiest, you know, putting the kids to
Speaker 1: one side, Lisa's probably the trickiest to get to work,
Speaker 1: if you like, in a sitcom way, because she's the
Speaker 1: most two three dimensional yeah basically essentially it. Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: like a normal regular person, you know. And so actually
Speaker 1: all we needed was for her to be herself because Essentially,
Speaker 1: she's the person that's looking in on all of this, going,
Speaker 1: this is fucking this ain't gonna work. Like you're you're
Speaker 1: you're being you're being insane or whatever, and so you're
Speaker 1: just whenever we've tried to suggest things to them, it
Speaker 1: never works as well as just going, let's let this
Speaker 1: play out and see what happens. The kids were our
Speaker 1: second son, well, actually all three of the kids didn't
Speaker 1: want to be not they didn't want to be on it.
Speaker 1: They were excited to be on it. They didn't want
Speaker 1: to take any direction or any kind of suggestions about
Speaker 1: what to do at all. Maybe our eldest son did
Speaker 1: a little bit THEO, but the other two just couldn't
Speaker 1: give a shiny shit. I mean they were just like,
Speaker 1: they're very much this is my energy. You're gonna have
Speaker 1: to make it work. In the edit that was kind
Speaker 1: of that was the message we got from them, you know.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's the one thing I find I feel
Speaker 1: a bit sad about because it's all obviously it's great
Speaker 1: to involve your I love to be able to involve
Speaker 1: the family, and they get excited. And when my uncles
Speaker 1: are involved in it, and they get very excited. And
Speaker 1: the one person I feel a bit bad about is
Speaker 1: my brother, my brother, who also has started doing stand
Speaker 1: up comedy. Now, my brother is a very funny bloke. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a very funny bloke, but he's unusable for this,
Speaker 1: for a lot of this stuff because he's too similar
Speaker 1: to me. So in terms of like actually casting a show,
Speaker 1: he doesn't. He doesn't work as a you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So we put him in. We put him
Speaker 1: in Asian Provocateur, put in an episode of Asian Provocateur.
Speaker 1: But I always said to my brother, if I can
Speaker 1: try and find something that will work for you and me,
Speaker 1: I will do. But it's just it just didn't. I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's so weird. It's so weird saying to
Speaker 1: your brother, your character doesn't your character doesn't work for this,
Speaker 1: and this character is him as a person. That's so fascinating.
Speaker 1: Your character is too similar to the lead characters that
Speaker 1: we've been writing so different. Unfortunately, because we've gone a
Speaker 1: different way for the brother. Yeah, unfortunately, because you grew
Speaker 1: up in exactly the same circumstances as the lead character,
Speaker 1: you've actually tarned that to be far too similarly out
Speaker 1: there do you have members of your family like cousins,
Speaker 1: or you must have more people who haven't been on
Speaker 1: your show. I imagine them contacting your game when the
Speaker 1: fuck amy on it. Well they don't, they don't ever
Speaker 1: say that, but you do get that vibe because it's
Speaker 1: not nice, isn't it. I mean everybody, I think everybody.
Speaker 1: Not everybody wants to say to have a career in television,
Speaker 1: but everybody would like to be on television for a bit.
Speaker 1: I think that's the impression. And so every now and again, though,
Speaker 1: I'll get an email from them going where we are.
Speaker 1: It's really nice. That's you know, if you're ever thinking
Speaker 1: of if you ever thinking of doing a thing where
Speaker 1: you look at Oh god, I'll tell you what. Some
Speaker 1: of the guards we've got living down in this area.
Speaker 1: Oh we've got some characters in Brumley. Have you been
Speaker 1: to I'll tell you where. It's fucking mad Orpington. You
Speaker 1: should come and do a thing there is what another question?
Speaker 1: And I hope this is interesting to people, but it's
Speaker 1: fascinating to me is your shows they're all I guess
Speaker 1: scripted reality. If we were to, yeah, give them a genre. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know, for your example, the justin other Immigrant,
Speaker 1: you had a mission. It was ten episodes. Yeah, how
Speaker 1: much of it is you just going we have to
Speaker 1: trust because it seems to me that there's a lot
Speaker 1: of trusting. We're just going to find the thing as
Speaker 1: it goes. But how much of that is me being
Speaker 1: fooled Bay and how much of it is No, it's
Speaker 1: all plotted out. And Asian Provocateur was more of a
Speaker 1: traditional travel documentary. You know, there was some you know,
Speaker 1: we were trying to find funny things to do, but
Speaker 1: it's more of a traditional travel dot whereas justin ov
Speaker 1: Immigrant was very much more what you're talking about, which
Speaker 1: is a comedy show, you know, a scripted reality show.
Speaker 1: But what we did, I guess the easiest way to
Speaker 1: explode it is like take a scene, so I would
Speaker 1: know what I'm going to do, and sometimes my uncle
Speaker 1: might know what he's going to do. But apart from that,
Speaker 1: nobody really knows what's going on at all. So for example,
Speaker 1: I went to get head shots done, like Hollywood head
Speaker 1: shots or whatever, and the photographer doesn't know that I'm
Speaker 1: trying to push for funny the Lisa is just turning
Speaker 1: up with me to head a photo shoot we've not
Speaker 1: said anything to her about how to play or anything
Speaker 1: like that. Same with the kids, so they just do
Speaker 1: what they want to do. The photographer does what she
Speaker 1: wants to do. And actually that one, it was very
Speaker 1: much shot as reality, I guess. I mean, if you'd
Speaker 1: just sent me to get some head shots done, it
Speaker 1: probably would have come out a lot like that. There
Speaker 1: are other ones. For example, we did one where me
Speaker 1: and Me and Rags unveiled a banner behind Mary Ilopez
Speaker 1: on his live TV show. So with that, Mariolopez didn't
Speaker 1: know what was going to happen, but his producer, the
Speaker 1: producers of his show did, because we had to get
Speaker 1: permission to do that, and Rags and knew, you know,
Speaker 1: we knew that we were going to do that. But
Speaker 1: aside from that, so you have this, I guess, the
Speaker 1: way that we write it is, we think this would
Speaker 1: be a funny thing to do. Let's see how it
Speaker 1: plays out, you know what I mean. And on that
Speaker 1: day it didn't play out, actually didn't play as well
Speaker 1: as we would have liked because security, they can't be
Speaker 1: in full controllable security, so we got kicked off almost immediately.
Speaker 1: Whereas we had ideas about how we were going to
Speaker 1: push it further and things like that, and also were
Speaker 1: there were discussions about how much to produce it and
Speaker 1: how much to not produce it. So a couple of
Speaker 1: the guys working on the show wanted us to manage
Speaker 1: how many tickets got sold at the Greek because they
Speaker 1: felt like it would be much better if something happened
Speaker 1: towards the end of the series that gave it a
Speaker 1: boost or suddenly we got like a cool ending. But
Speaker 1: me and Ben Green, who directed, in a couple of
Speaker 1: other guys, we were just very adam and let's just see,
Speaker 1: let's just play it real and see what happened. And
Speaker 1: then the last couple of weeks I didn't I asked
Speaker 1: them not to tell me how it was selling. And
Speaker 1: we did this thing where we went to the Mexican
Speaker 1: border and we started building Trump's wall as like a
Speaker 1: stunt to try and get some publicity, and actually, like
Speaker 1: we got shut down, it actually got some publicity because
Speaker 1: people across the other side of the border saw it
Speaker 1: and it started to people thought Trump was actually starting
Speaker 1: his wall, because the whole, the whole idea of it
Speaker 1: was to build the wall to knock it down, as
Speaker 1: like a big stunt that actually I'm an immigrant to
Speaker 1: America and it's sort of a sign of it was like,
Speaker 1: it was like this really fucking Eggy, deliberately Eggy, and
Speaker 1: I genuinely started to think, oh, fuck, man, I think
Speaker 1: we got some publicity of this because I got invited
Speaker 1: onto TMZ to talk about and like that. And then
Speaker 1: I started thinking on, maybe we sell some tickets, and
Speaker 1: then that reality was shattered when I walked out on
Speaker 1: the night and I think we sold like three hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty or something. It's six six thousand, So it was, oh, man,
Speaker 1: I knew. I knew it was going to be low.
Speaker 1: I knew it was going to be low. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't know it was going to be it's bells. That's
Speaker 1: all so fascinating to me, and I just think it's well, look,
Speaker 1: on a personal level, I think I find it interesting
Speaker 1: because I feel very much more guarded about my family
Speaker 1: and about partners, and I wonder why that is more
Speaker 1: like I guess control, like what they're going to say,
Speaker 1: what they're going to do, our God, And it's interesting
Speaker 1: to me that you have you're very open with all
Speaker 1: of that, which is lovely. I admire it but I
Speaker 1: also wonder if with all the stuff that you're doing,
Speaker 1: with all the work that you do, and all this
Speaker 1: stuff that involves your family involves people around you, the
Speaker 1: people you love, do you ever get occasionally you just go,
Speaker 1: I just want to fucking sit in a box and
Speaker 1: be left alone and not have all of these things involved,
Speaker 1: like as in there seems no boundaries in order as well,
Speaker 1: I mean the trip, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that might be the way feels what there's an like
Speaker 1: to you watch it, but it's not that. My life
Speaker 1: is not like that. I mean, you know, I think
Speaker 1: having Lisa and the kids, Lisa is separated from what
Speaker 1: I do to the point that she doesn't watch anything
Speaker 1: I do. You know, she's got no connection with anything
Speaker 1: I do, right, Yeah, no interest. And she's just never
Speaker 1: been a comedy fan. She's not into it. She's very supportive,
Speaker 1: but she doesn't give a shit about what I do.
Speaker 1: She'll come to watch, like once a tour show is
Speaker 1: up and running, she'll come and watch it, but she doesn't.
Speaker 1: She would never Yeah, she would never choose to sit
Speaker 1: down and watch a thing that I've done ever. In fact,
Speaker 1: in fact, the only thing she recently that I can
Speaker 1: think of that she sat down to watch was I
Speaker 1: did this travel show to Columbia, and she watched it
Speaker 1: because one of her friends said that I was flirting
Speaker 1: a lot with the with the co host and what
Speaker 1: was herding. She no, she didn't give it. She just said,
Speaker 1: I don't know what. I don't know what she I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I was told that it looks fairly
Speaker 1: innocuous to me. I don't know if that. I don't
Speaker 1: know if if that's because it did look ancuous to
Speaker 1: her or she sees. The potential of that is so low,
Speaker 1: The risk of that leading to anything is so so miniscule.
Speaker 1: But yeah, But the reason I mentioned all that is
Speaker 1: because it means that when I'm at home, I'm at home,
Speaker 1: and like it's I'm properly insulated from anything like that.
Speaker 1: You know, they don't. My kids don't watch anything I do.
Speaker 1: My wife doesn't watch anything I do. So it's it's
Speaker 1: pretty it's pretty good in that regard. The only thing
Speaker 1: I would say is I've had to get better at
Speaker 1: not thinking about work all the time I'm not work.
Speaker 1: I look in terms of if I'm at home, I
Speaker 1: don't want to see the sea Lisa from the kids.
Speaker 1: But I'm constantly thinking about shit or a new idea
Speaker 1: or something. I mean, and it's so inane and boring
Speaker 1: to Lisa, you know, because I'll sort of I'll go,
Speaker 1: I've had this idea for a thing where I do this,
Speaker 1: or I remember what I remember, Like just before this tour,
Speaker 1: I had this idea for what's going to call the tour,
Speaker 1: and I had this idea for the image for it,
Speaker 1: and I told you about it. And she said, and
Speaker 1: this sounds like she's an asshole, but she wasn't being
Speaker 1: She just goes, why why would you think i'd want
Speaker 1: to talk about listener, Like, well, let's talk about this,
Speaker 1: said lockdown, because I've been in lockdown now for this
Speaker 1: is the third week I've been in lockdown, and you're
Speaker 1: in lockdown with your family. I'm assuming, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I'm really as I said to you just before
Speaker 1: we started, I think this lookedown really highlights how mad,
Speaker 1: how fucking mad we are. I am sadly yeah, And
Speaker 1: I realize in terms of being a workaholic, the ship
Speaker 1: that gets me through anything is making stuff. And like
Speaker 1: I'm amazed how much time I spend, Like I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know this. I started making a fake
Speaker 1: reality TV show called Lone Island Online. The amount of
Speaker 1: work I'm putting into this stupid thing where I'm dating
Speaker 1: a plant, you would be horrified, Like I'm working it
Speaker 1: as if I'm making an HBO show, Like I spent
Speaker 1: three days on the edit of a two minute episode
Speaker 1: and like like I'm fucking you know, going over and
Speaker 1: over and shots of plants and like madness. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I think that's good. That's good man. You're perfectionist. That's great,
Speaker 1: isn't it. I'm a perfectionist for a thing. But then
Speaker 1: yesterday I sort of had a moment of clarity because
Speaker 1: I've been on it all day in the edit. Sorry guys,
Speaker 1: I'm in the edit, and then just had a moment
Speaker 1: of clarity, like what the fuck am I doing? Like
Speaker 1: this is this is mad? Like the world's ending, We're
Speaker 1: in in lockdown? What is you? And I'm obsessing going
Speaker 1: what is your end goal for that? Are you? Are
Speaker 1: you putting that together? And it's the it's the thing
Speaker 1: that drives you to spend a day and edit on
Speaker 1: that because you think somebody is going to see that
Speaker 1: and you're going to be picked up to do something
Speaker 1: or is it literally is the goal? I just want
Speaker 1: this to be fucking great? Is that? Is that what
Speaker 1: it is? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I know. It never crossed
Speaker 1: my mind in terms of a bigger what it leads to.
Speaker 1: I think maybe I'm like your your wife in this way.
Speaker 1: I like the process. I don't care about the ultimate. Well,
Speaker 1: I care enough that I want people to like it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people think it's funny. That's it. I don't want it
Speaker 1: to turn into a multi you know. But the making
Speaker 1: the thing. It's always the coming up with ideas and
Speaker 1: making stuff is not the only thing. That and being
Speaker 1: in the sea are the only things that make me like,
Speaker 1: oh all right, everything's all right. Yeah mad, But I
Speaker 1: feel like, but I'm not the same thing. Man. I'm
Speaker 1: constantly I'm saying to you, like, I'm constantly writing stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm constantly working on stuff, and I don't have I
Speaker 1: don't have editing in my thing right in my locker.
Speaker 1: I've taught myself. I've taught myself, right, Okay, So yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: to give you an idea of how how much of
Speaker 1: a midlife crisis I'm absolutely run to us. I've bought
Speaker 1: a set of decks and I'm now learning teaching myself
Speaker 1: to mix. Please do a live two hours set. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I said to Lisa, I'm going to buy some decks
Speaker 1: and speakers and I'm going to learn to DJ. And
Speaker 1: she went, oh, that's a great idea. And then when
Speaker 1: the stuff arrived, she goes, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: And I said, I told you I was doing it.
Speaker 1: She goes, I thought you were joking like she was.
Speaker 1: She was being sarcastic, and then all of a stuff
Speaker 1: that there's a knock on the door. So I've got this, like,
Speaker 1: I've got this fucking set up in my house now,
Speaker 1: and it's just like that thing where you go, I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's trying to master stuff I think is
Speaker 1: so exhilarating. And I think that's why I find stand
Speaker 1: up so exciting to do, because I still feel so
Speaker 1: nowhere near as good as I want to be at it,
Speaker 1: and so you never feel like I don't ever feel
Speaker 1: like I've cracked it, really, you know, at all. So
Speaker 1: so that that thing that keeps on challenging you, I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's really exciting. Well, this is the thing
Speaker 1: stand up is that only not the only one, but
Speaker 1: the stand up. You're the beauty of it. Why it's
Speaker 1: wonderful is you'll never You'll never muster it because you're
Speaker 1: never safe. You can always have a bagg Chris Rock
Speaker 1: can have a bad gig. Even Chris Rock can have
Speaker 1: a baggig, could be the wrong crowd, could be bad.
Speaker 1: Mike's new material like You're never safe, and that's why
Speaker 1: it's brilliant. However, currently he's my one other question for you,
Speaker 1: and then we should probably probably talk about films from
Speaker 1: it is that you know stand ups currently dead, isn't it?
Speaker 1: We're not allowed crowds anymore. And I find the idea.
Speaker 1: I know people are trying it, and I'm supportive of it,
Speaker 1: and I hope we can find a solution. But the
Speaker 1: idea of me doing fucking stand up into my laptop
Speaker 1: in my kitchen while twenty screens stare back at me
Speaker 1: and there's a time delay and I go locked at
Speaker 1: It's weird? Locked at it? What lockdowns like? It's like
Speaker 1: being it's not being a housecat in it? And then silence?
Speaker 1: Can you hear? Is this connected? Right? Sorry? Did you?
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it? No? How do you
Speaker 1: feel about that? Listen? I'm yet. I've watched a few
Speaker 1: examples of it, of it happening, and I know that
Speaker 1: there are comedy clubs that are trying to find a
Speaker 1: way of monetizing it so they can keep going. And
Speaker 1: I really do hope that works. And I'm saying that
Speaker 1: as a preface of the fact that it looks absolutely
Speaker 1: horrendous as far as I can tell, and so the
Speaker 1: idea of doing it, I just I think that if
Speaker 1: if this was to become our permanent way of living,
Speaker 1: then I'm going to kiss stand Up goodbye, because I cannot.
Speaker 1: It just can't happen. It cannot, It doesn't. It's sort
Speaker 1: of it's like something really surreal about it. Without an audience,
Speaker 1: without a live audience in the room, it suddenly feels
Speaker 1: it feels like a conspiracy theorist in a bunker making
Speaker 1: a video about The only way I can see me
Speaker 1: contuning to stand up is if we get to a point,
Speaker 1: I just have to wait for them to make human
Speaker 1: size Johnnies that you can just put over your size
Speaker 1: so that crowds can once again come out and enjoy
Speaker 1: standard And I would I would rather wait for that
Speaker 1: to be invented than try and do stand up over zoom.
Speaker 1: That is my that's my personal film. I am with you.
Speaker 1: I would rather wear a giant condom on stage to
Speaker 1: an audience of giant condom correct. Yeah, that's that. Didn't
Speaker 1: do it? From my kitchen into scape. Having said that,
Speaker 1: you know, let's not pretend luck to everyone doing it
Speaker 1: and listen, I'm saying that I really hope it. I
Speaker 1: hope it work. No, I hope there's a solution, and
Speaker 1: if it does work, I'll be one of the first
Speaker 1: people to jump on that band. While I'm going to
Speaker 1: say that I never had any doubts, but currently doesn't
Speaker 1: look hopeful, does it. No. I think that's why I've
Speaker 1: segued into sketch comedy. Sketch comedy is great in it
Speaker 1: and I've always said I've always been banging on about
Speaker 1: a sketch comedy, haven't I. You know me, sketch comedy.
Speaker 1: He's so passionate about it. He's been an ardent, ardent
Speaker 1: defender of it for many, many years. Now, sketch comedy
Speaker 1: to be buried him. He's got that fingers. He's absolutely obsessed. Now,
Speaker 1: Oh romes, fuck, what, oh shit? What I forgot to
Speaker 1: tell you something? Nuts. I forgot to tell you. I
Speaker 1: should have told you. Probably you didn't even told you
Speaker 1: before we started recording. What a donut? Oh, I hate myself.
Speaker 1: Well I just have to I was going have to
Speaker 1: say it. I guess fuck, Well you you've died. You've died. Sorry, Okay,
Speaker 1: well how did you die? It was on my own
Speaker 1: in a part and I just fell down this sort
Speaker 1: of steep kind of thing and broke my broke my neck.
Speaker 1: Basically what happened was the kids. The kids were playing
Speaker 1: in the play part. Yeah, and it just became too
Speaker 1: fucking frustrating, and I said, I'm taking a break, lease up,
Speaker 1: can you just watch him for a bit. And I'm
Speaker 1: so furious. As I walked off, I just I stumbled
Speaker 1: and fell into this into like a like a narrow gap.
Speaker 1: And I think the way that I died is people
Speaker 1: will will happen upon my body and say, actually, if
Speaker 1: he'd displayed any kind of inclination or effort, he could
Speaker 1: have got out of this quite easily. But you know
Speaker 1: when they say that guy survived through sheer force of
Speaker 1: will and he overcame, people would find my body and
Speaker 1: go he could have got out of this. So easily.
Speaker 1: It's it's such a shame that he didn't even have
Speaker 1: the least amount of willing to try and get himself
Speaker 1: out of this predicament. Yeah. If anything, he probably died
Speaker 1: of starvation because in there so long he was. I
Speaker 1: don't think he was stuck off. He would have been freed. Wow.
Speaker 1: I love that death. It's one of my favorite Do
Speaker 1: you worry about death? No, I don't particularly worry about it.
Speaker 1: I flirt with the idea of it, you know a
Speaker 1: lot in my head. I used to be such a
Speaker 1: narcissistic child. I used to like, if I don't know,
Speaker 1: if my mum really told me off, I would fantasize
Speaker 1: about dying and then about how they talk about me
Speaker 1: when I was gone. Me like he was such a
Speaker 1: nasy boy, or all he wanted to do was make
Speaker 1: people happy. You know, that's sort of that's sort of
Speaker 1: really egotistical. It's pretty dark really, it's a real narcissistic trait.
Speaker 1: But I do think since having children, I've become more
Speaker 1: frightened of it because I not for me. I just
Speaker 1: think to myself, I haven't given them enough good memories
Speaker 1: of who I am as a human for them to
Speaker 1: eulogize about me positively. At this stage, I'm still about
Speaker 1: how the funeral is going to play. I'm sort of
Speaker 1: talking about I'm really great, You've really grown up, you
Speaker 1: really progress I was talking. So I've left that narcissism behind.
Speaker 1: I've left that ego behind. I'm completely freed of it.
Speaker 1: What I am going to be doing today is writing
Speaker 1: the eulogies that I want them to say. I'm going
Speaker 1: to put that with my will. Just gonna be a
Speaker 1: little folder of stuff I want them to talk about.
Speaker 1: It's scripted reality for the funeral. So you could just
Speaker 1: say these words, Lisa, if you could cry in the middle,
Speaker 1: it's great. No, but I don't. I don't mean it
Speaker 1: as trivial as that. What I mean is I want
Speaker 1: my kids to remember me fondly, you know, to think
Speaker 1: of me as a good dad. And I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I've got enough in the locker. If
Speaker 1: you think about our eldest son is ten, so he's
Speaker 1: got a lot of life to live. Have I instilled
Speaker 1: in him enough of a respect and a love for
Speaker 1: me that he might talk about his talk about me
Speaker 1: to his kids currently? If I die today, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll even be mentioned, So yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got to step it up of it. You know what,
Speaker 1: you think maybe his kids will be about eighteen and
Speaker 1: they'll go, Dad, you never you never talk about your dad,
Speaker 1: And he'll go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he'll go about him.
Speaker 1: Oh you mean that guy whose biggest contribution to my
Speaker 1: life's calling me a prick on stage? Yeah? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a He was a great fucking guy, that guy
Speaker 1: that fell down quite a small dix and couldn't be
Speaker 1: bothered to crawl out of it. How long I was
Speaker 1: on this wing, the longest day at the play park ever,
Speaker 1: that prick gave me. Oh yeah, what do they think
Speaker 1: of you calling the pricks on stage? Do they know
Speaker 1: I haven't been a problem, They're aware of it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The thing is is that by the time they see it,
Speaker 1: I mean when they've watched it. So for example, I
Speaker 1: actually talk about this in the latest Tor show about
Speaker 1: how I feel like I probably went too far. But
Speaker 1: in the in the last show they watched it two
Speaker 1: three years after it after it was like I told it,
Speaker 1: and so to them, I'm talking about a different person
Speaker 1: because it's them from three years ago. Like they can
Speaker 1: laugh at who they were three years ago. Means so
Speaker 1: it's like if somebody tells a story about how you
Speaker 1: wet yourself when you were nine, theoretically you could still
Speaker 1: unless you've got unless it's an ongoing problem, unless you's
Speaker 1: still doing it. Okay, do you think there's an after life? No,
Speaker 1: it's something I have struggled with and still continued to
Speaker 1: struggle if and being honest with you, my mum and
Speaker 1: dads were quite religious. My mum's still is quite My
Speaker 1: dad was quite religious, and they used to take us
Speaker 1: They're both Hindus, but it used to take us to
Speaker 1: temple all the time. And I had a spirituality instilled
Speaker 1: in me throughout my upbringing, and so I always have
Speaker 1: had some sort of belief, I guess, but there's so
Speaker 1: many things that have kind of gone against that, and
Speaker 1: I've struggled with that. When my dad died, I remember,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been being brought up as a Hindu
Speaker 1: but not really connecting with it fully. I remember seeing
Speaker 1: my dad's funeral and just thinking, I don't understand what
Speaker 1: the fox's going on here. I mean, there's one point
Speaker 1: where we had to we had to we had to
Speaker 1: where to give my dad's stuff that would help him
Speaker 1: on his journey. And the priest that came to our
Speaker 1: house told us what those things were, and so it
Speaker 1: was really strange things. So for example, some sandals for
Speaker 1: the walk, right, that feels fairly normal. An umbrella right
Speaker 1: if it rains, yeah, on the way, a small bag
Speaker 1: to carry stuff. I thought, is this, I said to
Speaker 1: my mom? Is this priest just by any chance? Is
Speaker 1: this priest going on holiday anywhere anytime soon? Or is
Speaker 1: he planning a trip? Just No, I'm not asking for
Speaker 1: any particular reason. I'm just it's just the tree tooth bress. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little wheely bag, a little wheely luggage, but just
Speaker 1: the right side so we can go in because for
Speaker 1: the journey, Yeah, to the journey, because often you have
Speaker 1: to have a small bag in God's plane. Interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well and so that made you think, well, I know.
Speaker 1: But the other thing is is that I really hope
Speaker 1: there is, because I don't know. The idea that my
Speaker 1: dad died and just vanished, I find that a lot
Speaker 1: less reassuring than the idea that he might still be
Speaker 1: aware of what's going on, you know, and he still
Speaker 1: might be watching over us. And stuff like that. You know,
Speaker 1: that's obviously a lovely thing to think and a much
Speaker 1: nicer thing to think than he's just you know, just vanished.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so I don't, you know, it's it's something
Speaker 1: I kind of internally debate and again, at least he
Speaker 1: is very is very sure about it. You're gone, You're
Speaker 1: fucking when you're gone, You're gone. But then but then
Speaker 1: every now and again she contradicts that by going and
Speaker 1: maybe that was your dad and a gold on it.
Speaker 1: You don't believe any of that ship what you're talking
Speaker 1: about came back time. He was on a jetliner to heaven. Well,
Speaker 1: I got good news. Roll, miss, there is a heaven.
Speaker 1: So Lisa was wrong. Okay, good In this heaven, they're
Speaker 1: obsessed with films, weirdly and sketch comedy, and all they
Speaker 1: want to do is know about your life through film.
Speaker 1: And the first thing they ask you is what is
Speaker 1: the first film you remember seeing? Well, there's two answers
Speaker 1: to this question. The first film was the care Bears movie. Mate.
Speaker 1: Of course I know this film, so I, my brother
Speaker 1: and I were obsessed with the care Bears. It was
Speaker 1: an insane premise, These bears that live in I can't
Speaker 1: even remember what the name of the cloud cloud Land, clouds.
Speaker 1: It might be Cloudland. What did you say it? What
Speaker 1: was the second one? He said, cload City. But then
Speaker 1: I think that's in Star Wars they're living Cloudland and
Speaker 1: they live in cloud Land. Yeah, and then when something
Speaker 1: bad happens, they do this care bear stare, and then
Speaker 1: they shook their bellies out and this sort of colors
Speaker 1: will shoot out. They just sort of jeers love the
Speaker 1: jeers are heart straight out of there, straight out care
Speaker 1: bestre and then like this, colors and lights shoot out
Speaker 1: of their bellies and my brother and I fucking love that. Man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember, I remember being I remember it was my
Speaker 1: sort of earliest recollection of Asian parent knuckoffs because my
Speaker 1: brother and I wanted a care Bear and instead and
Speaker 1: my mum bought us this is just as good as
Speaker 1: care Bear. And it was just this, like shit, just
Speaker 1: hideous looking bear didn't have anything on its belly. It
Speaker 1: just had fur that came off when he breathed too
Speaker 1: hard on its Yeah. Yeah, some market stall over had
Speaker 1: actually wanked into it before putting it on. Putting it
Speaker 1: on for some that's that's special. Care Bear that's Crusty's
Speaker 1: crusty bit of that is now he's one of the
Speaker 1: limited edition ones. I love that film. Yeah, but that
Speaker 1: was that on tv R at the cinema. No I
Speaker 1: went to the cinema. It was a cinema that got
Speaker 1: closed down, became bar Mead for a while and is
Speaker 1: now Turtle Bay Bay College, Jamaican. It's like the ub
Speaker 1: forty of Jamaican restaurants. There is no authentic there's nothing
Speaker 1: authentically Caribbean about it. But but I do also remember
Speaker 1: the reason I sort of said there's two answers to
Speaker 1: this is that the first film I remember having a
Speaker 1: visceral reaction to was one of my dad's. My mum
Speaker 1: and dad used to a big group of Shri Lankan friends,
Speaker 1: all the Shrilankan, big Shrilankan community and crawling in London,
Speaker 1: and they all used to meet up all the time.
Speaker 1: My memories as a child were constantly socializing with other
Speaker 1: Sri Lankan, British Shrilankan kids and stuff like that as constant. Right,
Speaker 1: and my dad's mate brought to our house a hirate
Speaker 1: copy of Terminator. Right, and I hadn't even heard of
Speaker 1: this film and he said, oh, this is like the
Speaker 1: new film that everyone's going to be going on about it.
Speaker 1: We should watch this. And my mum and dad. I
Speaker 1: don't know what your folks were like, but my mum
Speaker 1: and dad just ratings. They had no concept of what
Speaker 1: ratings or anything like that. Just didn't mean anything to them,
Speaker 1: so they let us watch it. We all sat up
Speaker 1: and stayed up and watched it. And I remember I
Speaker 1: had to have the next two days off school because
Speaker 1: I was so fucking terrified of the world as a
Speaker 1: result of watching that, Like it fucked with my head.
Speaker 1: So you know, those those flashes to the future, I remember,
Speaker 1: just fun. Oh my god, it was some of the
Speaker 1: most brutal imagery. I said, that brutal, most brutal imagery
Speaker 1: I'd ever seen in my life. I was fucking like
Speaker 1: what eight I mean, yeah, it was that in the
Speaker 1: care being exactly. It was a bit when one of
Speaker 1: the care bears looked a bit sad for forty five
Speaker 1: seconds during the second act. I mean, that was that
Speaker 1: was what I had it to to that point, was
Speaker 1: to make brut with brutality, and then he's saw an
Speaker 1: entire apocalypse. I don't know what the fuck my parents
Speaker 1: were thinking. But you know, you know, the the clote
Speaker 1: that end when he just keeps coming. I just remember,
Speaker 1: I just I'd never seen anything like it. Obviously I've
Speaker 1: never seen anything like it, but it was I just
Speaker 1: remember all of that. You know, you're often the things
Speaker 1: that you see for the first time like that and
Speaker 1: the things that stay with you forever. And just that
Speaker 1: experience of watching a film, I think, you know, I
Speaker 1: was so scared. I was terrified. It affected me, like
Speaker 1: fucking my head for a next couple of I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I want that every time I watch a film,
Speaker 1: but obviously the more you watch films, the less films
Speaker 1: have that kind of impact on you, because you've seen
Speaker 1: tropes and stuff like that and you become But that
Speaker 1: as a film watching experience was in terms of an
Speaker 1: actual bodily reaction, was one of the strongest I've ever had. Man,
Speaker 1: even to this day, it was crazy. That's amazing. Care
Speaker 1: Bears Into the Terminator is a brilliant double bill. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and in that order as well, I think, Yeah, and
Speaker 1: also to have a child that you know, is of
Speaker 1: the sort of sensibilities that they enjoy the Careban movie.
Speaker 1: To think that even on a taste level, never mind
Speaker 1: the ratings, to think that that that vent diagram might
Speaker 1: overlap in that way? Do you like your mom and dad?
Speaker 1: Like like a really bad Amazon delivery? Like, oh, if
Speaker 1: you enjoyed care Bears, you might also enjoy the Terminator.
Speaker 1: It's got stuff coming out of people's stomachs, but it's
Speaker 1: when they've been stamped on by two eight hundreds sweet dreams.
Speaker 1: So what is the film that made you cry? The master?
Speaker 1: You a cryer? It depends on the I've gone through
Speaker 1: crying phases in my life where I've like, just suddenly
Speaker 1: anything can sort of set me off, do you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? But there's there's two equal contenders for
Speaker 1: this accolade. Do I cry a lot? It just depends
Speaker 1: on what I've been going through at that period. So
Speaker 1: for example, there's some films I can't think of what
Speaker 1: they might be, but there's some films at least has
Speaker 1: gone to me. This is really going to get to you,
Speaker 1: and I've watched it like a fucking cold hearted psychopath.
Speaker 1: But then on another occasion in your head, still planning
Speaker 1: in your funeral, Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, they'll
Speaker 1: talk about this, they'll talk about this. He was so
Speaker 1: he was so focused that he didn't even didn't even
Speaker 1: cry when I showed him whatever the hell the film was.
Speaker 1: But then I watched, like, h you know, I know
Speaker 1: that's to go to one, but I found I think
Speaker 1: I cried seven or eight times during that film, But
Speaker 1: that's still not a film I cried out the most.
Speaker 1: And there's two contenders. If you're talking about just immediate
Speaker 1: descent into floods of tears, just apropa of nothing, just
Speaker 1: fucking completely, it would have to be and this must
Speaker 1: be the same for a lot of people. Men in
Speaker 1: Black three? Now, what what happened with Very Black three? Right? Yeah? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: but that's Brett. That's the thing. Right. So my dad
Speaker 1: had died maybe the year before that film came out, right,
Speaker 1: and and I had so my dad died of it.
Speaker 1: Getting into way too much detail like this, but anyone,
Speaker 1: my dad died of a heart attack at his house, right.
Speaker 1: My brother phoned me up and he said, I've just
Speaker 1: found Dad. You need to come home straight away. I
Speaker 1: was at a gig. I came home, came to find Dad, right,
Speaker 1: and I cried then right in such a way that
Speaker 1: the next day my brother said to me, I know
Speaker 1: that it's sad that dad died, but that noise you
Speaker 1: made yesterday was absolutely insane. But then, but then, since then,
Speaker 1: since said after that, I hadn't really cried that much. Right,
Speaker 1: So then I was doing a weekend at Birmingham Glee
Speaker 1: and on the Saturday morning, I thought to myself, I
Speaker 1: didn't really know any of the other comics on the bill,
Speaker 1: so I thought I wasn't hanging out with them, so
Speaker 1: it's essentially having a weekend on mine. I thought was
Speaker 1: let me just go to the cinema and Men in
Speaker 1: Black three was on. So I went to watch the
Speaker 1: Men in Black three, thinking to myself, this is definitely
Speaker 1: going to be better than Men in Black two, because
Speaker 1: better than Men in Black two is also any kind
Speaker 1: of STI because Men in Black two was an absolute
Speaker 1: fucking travestyo, Right, But so I'll go in to sit
Speaker 1: to watch Them in Black three. There's families there because
Speaker 1: it's a family film. I'm there with a large popcorn,
Speaker 1: just on my own, right, And I would say, at
Speaker 1: this time, I had just started getting used to going
Speaker 1: to the cinema on my own, because now going to
Speaker 1: the cinema on own. It's just something I don't even
Speaker 1: think about, but I only you know, when you start
Speaker 1: as a comic, I think like you start doing that
Speaker 1: more and more and more. But the first few that
Speaker 1: was in the stage when I was thinking, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure about this, I felt like people were looking at
Speaker 1: me and shit like that. So anyway, you know that
Speaker 1: when he finds out at the end of Men in
Speaker 1: Black three, there's there's his dad's storyline and they you
Speaker 1: find out why K and J ended up, you know,
Speaker 1: why he ended up taking him under his wing or whatever. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I watched that, and you know, there's a combination of
Speaker 1: anger as well, because I thought what they did with
Speaker 1: that time travel story, and I was fucking insane. They
Speaker 1: you cannot you know, time travel is difficult when you're
Speaker 1: really trying to be careful, and they just was so
Speaker 1: careless with the consistency of it. It was so absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 1: But there was a lot, you know, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of good stuff in that film. Anyway, The point is
Speaker 1: when the dad thing happened, I just fucking absolutely collapsed
Speaker 1: into my popcorn, just started sobbing my fucking eyes out.
Speaker 1: And I imagine that if you were to ever have
Speaker 1: on your podcast any of the other people that were
Speaker 1: in that cinema and you were said, and you were
Speaker 1: to ask them, what is one of the most horror
Speaker 1: of fine things you've ever experienced the cinema? I imagine
Speaker 1: it would be when I took my kids to watch
Speaker 1: the family film Men in Black three and a man
Speaker 1: sat on his eye started sobbing loudly in the corner
Speaker 1: of the theater, and noise I've never heard before. Your
Speaker 1: brother comes running again. That's the fucking what's wrong? Is
Speaker 1: he an animal? Wow? That's I mean, that's a heck
Speaker 1: of an answer. We've never had Men in Black Free? No,
Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, if you want the regular art,
Speaker 1: you know, not the regular answer. But the thing that
Speaker 1: did sort of it was Lion, if I'm being honest
Speaker 1: with you, But you know, Lion, We've had Lion, We've
Speaker 1: had Learning Black Free is beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. The final
Speaker 1: part of that film is people must have said this
Speaker 1: for turgid the not come out? What what what? You
Speaker 1: have a magical section where this this boy gives a
Speaker 1: heartrending performance being lost in India, terrifying, totally related to it. Right.
Speaker 1: I watched it while I was I was drunk on
Speaker 1: a plane, so that sort of adds to the emotional it, right,
Speaker 1: And then they decide, what what can we do to
Speaker 1: fit to take this film to its closing. Let's just
Speaker 1: have death hotel on Google Earth for an hour. That's
Speaker 1: essentially what the last section of that film is. It's
Speaker 1: just him repeatedly looking at Google Earth trying to remember
Speaker 1: the village. Fuck off. I think that's what. That's why
Speaker 1: the tears continue, is what This is how this film
Speaker 1: is going to end after that. That's such a magical
Speaker 1: first section. This is how they're going to finish it.
Speaker 1: The whole films at Google Earth. I've been duped. I
Speaker 1: had a corporate whole just sobbing awful. What is the
Speaker 1: film that scared you the most? Haven't than the Terminator? Okay,
Speaker 1: this is a really shit answer. Is a film I
Speaker 1: have a recollection of being scared by the most? I
Speaker 1: actually embarrassed to say was scream. But now, now, now
Speaker 1: hold on, I know you're going to judge me. Just
Speaker 1: bear with me. Just bear with me one second. Year
Speaker 1: with me, Just bear with me one second. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: talking about having a physical reaction. Okay, all right, now
Speaker 1: a lot of people forget this. A lot of people
Speaker 1: think that because there were so many copycat films to this, right,
Speaker 1: that actually it's a terrible film. But in terms of
Speaker 1: jump scares, all right, that film. Going to the cinema
Speaker 1: to watch it with the girl I was seeing at
Speaker 1: the time, who turned out she didn't love me as
Speaker 1: much as I thought that when I went to watch
Speaker 1: that film, jumping because it has scared you, wearing the scream.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine that helped, I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine it aroused her. But anyway, listen, the
Speaker 1: point is, I remember thinking, fucking hell. That is, I've
Speaker 1: never had an experience like that where I've jumped and
Speaker 1: been shot and scared so much by a film. Now,
Speaker 1: of course, i've watched since then, I've watched other scary films,
Speaker 1: and I've realized that actually what I was then was
Speaker 1: a cunt. I understand that, but that's only because that's
Speaker 1: only because my experiences of that type of thing was
Speaker 1: so limited, you know what I mean. And so i've since,
Speaker 1: you know, I've realized that there's a different there's a different,
Speaker 1: more nuanced quality of horror. Blah blah blah, I mean,
Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, the Babbadick's good and all that fucking shit,
Speaker 1: do you know. I mean, I understand all of that now,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know that then. I mean, then I'll
Speaker 1: just oh, Jesus Christ, and then why don't you love me? Now?
Speaker 1: How can we know have sex as much anymore? Jesus?
Speaker 1: What do you mean that? I'm not? Man, I went
Speaker 1: through a phase. I went through a phase of watching
Speaker 1: those films a lot, and then obviously see what happens
Speaker 1: is is like like your favorite fast food place. He
Speaker 1: starts to realize that actually it's very it's very unsatisfying
Speaker 1: and absence of any kind of real nourishment. So I
Speaker 1: get all of that. I mean, I would say the
Speaker 1: most flattening experience I had in a cinema, though, was
Speaker 1: Lisa was heavily pregnant with THEO, our eldest, and so
Speaker 1: she had not yet gone through childbirth, and I made
Speaker 1: the mistake of taking her to a distracting viewing to
Speaker 1: take her mind off the factor she's fed up being pregnant.
Speaker 1: I took her to watch The Orphan. Now. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you remember the opening sequence of The Orphan,
Speaker 1: but it is where a woman is quite literally split
Speaker 1: into giving birth to her baby and dying in the process.
Speaker 1: It was I cannot tell you that you want a
Speaker 1: horror films. That's a horror experience right there. That was horrendous.
Speaker 1: The rest of the film I was nonplus by, but
Speaker 1: that was a visceral experience. You took a heavily, heavily
Speaker 1: pregnant woman to see a film called Orphan, correct, But
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. I didn't know it's an origin story.
Speaker 1: I thought we were going to join the Orphan later on,
Speaker 1: I mean to see what was going on. They fucking
Speaker 1: showed everything. It's not my fault. If the film had
Speaker 1: been called childbirth Slaughter, then yes, I'll accept some blame
Speaker 1: for it not being appropriate to take a pregnant wife too,
Speaker 1: But fuck, it's called the Orphan anyway. Okay. The Orphan,
Speaker 1: by the way, is that they weren't with one of
Speaker 1: the greatest twists of all time where they adopt a girl.
Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, it's an old woman, an old psychopathic woman
Speaker 1: attended to me a six year old. So no, come on, mate,
Speaker 1: come on. It's like I like them thinking about it.
Speaker 1: I like them going, how are we going to end it,
Speaker 1: she's a grown adult serial killer. Okay, I think ready,
Speaker 1: but we're calling this child best laughter Nah now, because
Speaker 1: because the problem is you'll you'll put you'll put off
Speaker 1: expectant couples if you call it that. Let's let's we
Speaker 1: need their money as well, we need them coming along.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? It's an attractive title for people
Speaker 1: about to give birth offense and call it offend it.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? Do you know the problem with
Speaker 1: that twist is it actually makes the film less disturbing
Speaker 1: because a kid doing that is terrifying. A kid doing
Speaker 1: all that shit is horrific, and you s think, fucking hell,
Speaker 1: what's had to happen to that child to make her
Speaker 1: behave like that? And then I actually she's an adult
Speaker 1: and you go, okay, well I can totally buy an
Speaker 1: adult doing that. I mean, that's just you've actually made
Speaker 1: it less. Makes you've made it less, You've made it
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, you've given it some psychological depth, So
Speaker 1: I'm out. Yeah, but a kid, actually, a kid's being
Speaker 1: on that fucking out that's scary that that's horror ship.
Speaker 1: What is the film that people don't like? Critically? It's
Speaker 1: not acclaimed, but you're like, you're all idiots. I love
Speaker 1: this film unconditionally. I think it's probably the Golden Child.
Speaker 1: What it's a fantastic answer. I watched that film when
Speaker 1: I was absolutely head over hills in love with Eddie Murphy,
Speaker 1: like absolutely I when My Name Is Dolomite came out.
Speaker 1: I was so fucking happy at how good that film was.
Speaker 1: Because I love that film. Yeah, because Eddie Murphy to me,
Speaker 1: is so increase. He's one of the most naturally charismatic
Speaker 1: and funny comedian act I loved him as a kid,
Speaker 1: like obsessed with him. Watched Everything Right, you know, Beverly
Speaker 1: Hills Cop, Beverly Hills Cop. I love you know, all
Speaker 1: of those films. I don't need to name it him.
Speaker 1: I'm not fucking id id I am well you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I'm listening as films. That's the point
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make, right, go on, I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not ideal whatever. Yeah, Jesus Christ, that's happening
Speaker 1: to me. More on Lockdown. By the way, I'm starting
Speaker 1: sentences that I've got no idea where I'm going with.
Speaker 1: I actually googled it the other day as a potential
Speaker 1: sinom a corona because I was doing it so much
Speaker 1: that I thought it must be it must be a condition. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it's a Golden Child. Eddie Murphy has to for some
Speaker 1: for reasons that are sort of beyond explanation of us,
Speaker 1: the scriptwriters or anybody. It's not really made completely clear,
Speaker 1: has to look after this child who is going to
Speaker 1: essentially save the world. I think, or is some sort
Speaker 1: of And it's just everybody I've spoken to thinks it's shits.
Speaker 1: Every everybody. I don't think it was. I don't know
Speaker 1: how well it was reviewed, but every time I mention
Speaker 1: it as one of the films that I'll go, oh,
Speaker 1: Eddie Murphy was used to be so good, mad didn't there?
Speaker 1: And they go yeah, yeah, And I go, like Beverly
Speaker 1: Hill's Carbon Trading Blazes and they go Golden ChIL to
Speaker 1: go what what Sorry? And it sounded like you said
Speaker 1: sorry mate. I don't know if I miss it sounded
Speaker 1: like he said Golden Child. Because people just hate that
Speaker 1: movie because it's got some weird It's got some First
Speaker 1: of all, the special effects, I think, even for that time,
Speaker 1: were dreadful. The context of it doesn't it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how charismatic Eddie Murphy is, that context is not suitable
Speaker 1: for him. You know, on paper, the idea that somebody
Speaker 1: said Edie Eddie Murphy is great, isn't it. Why do
Speaker 1: we put him in some sort of Eastern adventure or
Speaker 1: he has a protector child from a demon. Now that
Speaker 1: sounds like that sounds like absolute text. But what you
Speaker 1: do with any Murphy that is that is a crystal
Speaker 1: clear next step what you do with Eddie Murphy. But
Speaker 1: it's got loads of funny lines in it. There's a
Speaker 1: bit where he has to I don't know if you
Speaker 1: don't know how well do you know the film? Well?
Speaker 1: I think I haven't seen it since since back in
Speaker 1: the day, but I think it's like it was also
Speaker 1: meant to be a bit like Indiana Janes in the
Speaker 1: Temple of Doing. Like there's there's certainly like a platform
Speaker 1: game bit where yes, that's the bit that yes, he
Speaker 1: has to retrieve I think has to retrieve knife without spilling.
Speaker 1: I might have got this wrong, so apologies any huge
Speaker 1: Golden Child fans that listen to podcast. So there's he's
Speaker 1: got to make it across these platforms without spilling any
Speaker 1: of this water, right, and if he makes it there
Speaker 1: he can retrieve the knife or something other. And then
Speaker 1: there's a bit is what it goes. One of the
Speaker 1: things that they say to him is only a man
Speaker 1: whose heart is pure can wield the knife. And then
Speaker 1: he's walking down the stairs and he goes, only a
Speaker 1: man who's hard as pure can wield the knife, and
Speaker 1: only a man whose ass is narrow can get down
Speaker 1: in the steps. And if man is such an ass,
Speaker 1: then as you have it, and just to wait. It's
Speaker 1: such a terrible land on paper. It fucking made me
Speaker 1: lose my mind. It's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: And then there's a bit where they had to there's
Speaker 1: a bit where there's this column and had this rotating
Speaker 1: bit on it, and they were talking to this this
Speaker 1: priest and you have to spin the thing and as
Speaker 1: it's spinning, you talk to it. We have come to
Speaker 1: retrieve the Ashanti knife. Please could you tell us how
Speaker 1: to get it? And then Eddie Hury walks up to
Speaker 1: he goes, I wipe the knife please, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: so fucking funny. But everything, there's so much there's so
Speaker 1: much shit about that film, but I loved it. Fucking
Speaker 1: still love it? Man, what film? What is a film
Speaker 1: that you used to love? You used to love this film,
Speaker 1: but then you've what's to recently and you've gone, oh boy,
Speaker 1: I do not feel the same way about this. Deep
Speaker 1: Blue Se said, no, I'm sorry that they happened to you, so,
Speaker 1: Deep Blue See. I love sharp films, right, I absolutely
Speaker 1: adore them, as do most people. Is that right? Am
Speaker 1: I right in saying that most people love sharp films
Speaker 1: and then they're popular, they're popular genre the sharp film. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And obviously I've I've long wanted a film to sort
Speaker 1: of compensate for the utter trash that was Jews now Objec,
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't going to watch I remember going to
Speaker 1: watch Deep Blue Sea, and I thought to me, at
Speaker 1: at that stage in my life, it had the hookiest
Speaker 1: premise ever for me, which was that these sharks they're
Speaker 1: night normal sharks, which are terrifying, but they're fucking mutated,
Speaker 1: so they're even more dangerous than regular sharks. Yes, please,
Speaker 1: absolutely right. And the reason I went to watch that film,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not lying. I went to watch that film
Speaker 1: three times at the cinema when it came out because
Speaker 1: I loved it so much. There's a lot of cool
Speaker 1: stuff in it. There's the bit where the shark has
Speaker 1: the guy in the stretcher and it flings it towards
Speaker 1: that they've got that viewing glass where they're looking. It's
Speaker 1: called a windows and it's not a viewing glass. They've
Speaker 1: got a huge window, that reinforced glass. And then the
Speaker 1: shark throws the stretcher against the window and then the
Speaker 1: little crack forms and then it starts, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what a moment. Right LLL cool J is a chef
Speaker 1: in it. Yes, please, right, he's got a party. One
Speaker 1: of the best death scenes in the history of cinema. Yes,
Speaker 1: please right, agree, agree, yes. Also, what made it better
Speaker 1: for me was it had the shittiest reason for mutating
Speaker 1: those shots that you could ever possibly imagine, which was,
Speaker 1: do you remember to cure Altzheimer's it come wuck on wharts?
Speaker 1: It's the friend of people, he wrote often. I wonder
Speaker 1: if that was a test. It's one of those egotistical
Speaker 1: things where they've said, listen this, do you know how
Speaker 1: much how good I think this this film is going
Speaker 1: to be. You could literally give him, You could give
Speaker 1: these fucking morons any reason for breeding these shots they
Speaker 1: don't care. Make it to help to cure outshimers something.
Speaker 1: They'll lack it up. These fucking they'll go to the
Speaker 1: cinema more than once to watch it. These people are
Speaker 1: so fucking stupid. So anyway, I loved everything about it
Speaker 1: at the time, and then recently I went to the cinema.
Speaker 1: More recently, I went to the cinema to watch the
Speaker 1: Imax presentation of The Meg which has which I was
Speaker 1: a lot too Deep Blue Sea in terms of the
Speaker 1: underwater sea base and all that kind of stuff. And
Speaker 1: I thought, to myself, this film is obviously dreadful, but
Speaker 1: as a visual spectacle, I get it. And then I thought,
Speaker 1: and then I started talking to the people I went
Speaker 1: to watch with about how this wasn't I tell you
Speaker 1: what this isn't. This isn't bloody deep Blue Sea. Now,
Speaker 1: that's a great shark movie. And they went I was
Speaker 1: shut up. And then I decided to go back to
Speaker 1: watch Deep Blue Sea so that I could meet them
Speaker 1: again if they agree to it, to tell them about
Speaker 1: how good Deep Blue Sea was. And I just did not.
Speaker 1: I found it. The experience devoid of any enjoyment at all.
Speaker 1: It just lost I don't know, I don't know why
Speaker 1: because in your picture of the film you totally sort
Speaker 1: of yeah, exactly call J's wandering around. Also, Emerald Fanelle,
Speaker 1: who was on this show, she pointed out that one
Speaker 1: of the greatest scenes of all time is it Shark
Speaker 1: working out had to ten on an Ovin. So you know,
Speaker 1: I'll take the answer, but I don't think you are.
Speaker 1: I really believed that it's not a brilliant I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what I do think. I do think that LLL
Speaker 1: cool J, when he decided to write the song for
Speaker 1: that film must have had a lot else on at
Speaker 1: that time, because the chorus deepest bluest, my hat is
Speaker 1: like a sharks fin could not be more on the
Speaker 1: fucking nose. I mean, I mean, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: Can you introde? We wanted to do a song about
Speaker 1: this shark movie and he's literally done, Oh I look
Speaker 1: like a shark. I'm going through the water. My hat's
Speaker 1: like a sharks fin. Just Jesus fucking Christ. I can't
Speaker 1: believe they okayed it. I can't believe note didn't go
Speaker 1: back to a Locoljo going I just a quick one, el.
Speaker 1: It's a really catchy song. It just it feels. Have
Speaker 1: you thought about going like maybe five percent less literal
Speaker 1: on this on your interpretation of it? Yeah, ye ship,
Speaker 1: Oh what is the film that means the most to you?
Speaker 1: Not necessarily the film itself is any good, but because
Speaker 1: of the experience you had around seeing the film, that
Speaker 1: means you will always remember it. Finally, so my choice
Speaker 1: for this at apologies if it's come up before, is Hot,
Speaker 1: which is the film where Russell Brand Easter Bunny. Russell
Speaker 1: Brand voices the Easter Bunny. Well, he doesn't voice the
Speaker 1: Easter Bunny. He voices the Easter Bunny elect because he's not.
Speaker 1: At the beginning of the film, he's not the Easter Bunny.
Speaker 1: He is an aspirant rock star and his dad wants
Speaker 1: him to be the Easter Bunny and he doesn't want to,
Speaker 1: and so he runs away and it's all about him
Speaker 1: sort of. It's an identity comes up, hope comes up
Speaker 1: as much as Men in Black three going. So, So anyway,
Speaker 1: my kids were obsessed with this film, right and we
Speaker 1: had it on a lot. And the reason that that
Speaker 1: it's Hot is because basically at that time I had
Speaker 1: been doing stand up comedy for a bit. We work
Speaker 1: completely and utterly broke as a direct result of me
Speaker 1: going into stand up comedy. We didn't have any money
Speaker 1: until Jesus, didn't have any money antil just before maybe
Speaker 1: maybe like the month before, we'd had our we'd had
Speaker 1: our car taken away because I hadn't paid the road
Speaker 1: tax on it. And I remember, I remember Lisa was
Speaker 1: it was a really dark anyway, I'm trying to set
Speaker 1: up the point is that I'm trying to point out
Speaker 1: to you that I was in a dark place, right.
Speaker 1: I was gonna it was really fucking I couldn't see
Speaker 1: how this is going to get any better. I was
Speaker 1: just like, I'm going to have to quit comedy, and
Speaker 1: this is like and You've taking your family into this
Speaker 1: situation because of your vanity and blah blah. You know,
Speaker 1: all of these horrible things were going through my head. Right,
Speaker 1: And then there's a bit where Hop is that his
Speaker 1: name in it? Is his name? Hop? I can't remember Anyway,
Speaker 1: There's there's a point in that film where he's absolutely
Speaker 1: rock bottom, right, It's absolutely rock bottom. And I was
Speaker 1: sitting there just like really just like utterly fucked fucked
Speaker 1: off with life, just completely like and there's a bit
Speaker 1: where he goes, you know what, maybe this is the
Speaker 1: rags part of my rags to riches story. And I'm
Speaker 1: not exaggerating. That was like almost like it's the context
Speaker 1: of it. Obviously. It was almost like a fucking life
Speaker 1: changing moment, like I suddenly got instilled with this. I
Speaker 1: know this sounds about it sounds insane, but I'm just
Speaker 1: telling exactly how it happened. It's suddenly I suddenly thought, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what this is. This is the bit that I
Speaker 1: will tell people about when I've got out of this
Speaker 1: situation and I'm starting to do you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: I really I really felt like I needed to have
Speaker 1: that that moment at that time, like it felt perfect.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it was just the moment that gave me
Speaker 1: the belief to sort of go, oh, I there's a chart.
Speaker 1: I'm going to make it out of this. I will
Speaker 1: make it out of this somehow. And I didn't know,
Speaker 1: by the way, whether that was going to be comedy.
Speaker 1: That wasn't me thinking I'm going to make it as
Speaker 1: a comedian. It was me thinking I might go back
Speaker 1: into teaching, or I might find some other path. It
Speaker 1: wasn't the thing that I said. It didn't give me
Speaker 1: the belief that I was going to become a comedian.
Speaker 1: It gave me the belief that I was going to
Speaker 1: we were going to get out of this. This wasn't permanent,
Speaker 1: this situation yet me, it was weird. It was like,
Speaker 1: that's amazing, Russell Brandon, Zister, Banny elect changed your life.
Speaker 1: I take that very seriously what you said, because the
Speaker 1: most profound thing I've seen at the cinema this year,
Speaker 1: and I'm not joking, is Bad Boys three. Have you
Speaker 1: seen Bad Boys three? No, I'll tell you why I
Speaker 1: haven't seen it. It's because I love Bad Boys so
Speaker 1: much and I liked Bad Boys too, and that was
Speaker 1: really concerned that my spirit couldn't take Bad Boys three
Speaker 1: being awful. That's basically the reason it's great You're safe.
Speaker 1: I felt the same way. I was very worried about it.
Speaker 1: But in Bad Boys three, which you know is kind
Speaker 1: of silly and has jokes and silly action, and it's
Speaker 1: all very over the top and you know, lots of
Speaker 1: weird shots and stuff, and it's all very glamorous and
Speaker 1: silly and stupid, and then bang in the middle of it,
Speaker 1: completely out of nowhere, Joe PANTOLIONI tells Will Smith a
Speaker 1: fucking little parable from the Tibetan Book of the Dead
Speaker 1: or something that pops up in the middle of this
Speaker 1: black film that I have thought about every single day,
Speaker 1: and I'm working on myself. Because he says to will Smith,
Speaker 1: he goes literally at an We're in the middle of
Speaker 1: this mad film, bombs going off, shootings everything. He says
Speaker 1: to him, there's a story. There's a I think it's Buddhist,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, he says, there's there's a desert pathway and
Speaker 1: there's a man walking on his own along this pathway,
Speaker 1: and in the distance he sees a man on a horse,
Speaker 1: and the horse is galloping straight towards him. But there's
Speaker 1: all this space, and he thinks the man on the
Speaker 1: horse is gonna get out the way, but the man
Speaker 1: on the horse is just galloping straight at him, and
Speaker 1: eventually the man walking has to dive out of the way.
Speaker 1: The man and the horse goes straight past, and he
Speaker 1: calls after him, and he says, where the fuck are
Speaker 1: you going, And the man and the horse goes, I
Speaker 1: don't know, ask my horse, and he says, we're all
Speaker 1: just being ridden by a horse. Our horses, our emotion,
Speaker 1: our past, new roses, all the things we have to
Speaker 1: be in control of so that you decide, You decide
Speaker 1: where you're going. Not the fucking horse. He goes. He
Speaker 1: goes to Will Smith, he goes, where are you going? Man?
Speaker 1: Holy shit, bad boys free? That is that is Will
Speaker 1: Smith asked for that to be put in rames. Where
Speaker 1: are you going? Man? I mean, that is it's proper
Speaker 1: in it. Have you have you watched any of Will
Speaker 1: Smith's kind of philosophy and stuff like that. I've seen
Speaker 1: a bit of it. I'm all for it. You know,
Speaker 1: he's obsessed, you know, you know, he's obsessed with the
Speaker 1: Alchemist and stuff like that and telling the universe that
Speaker 1: you want something to happen. And then you know, like
Speaker 1: if you can watch these YouTube things of where little
Speaker 1: bits of each interview that he's done cut together to
Speaker 1: turn him into some sort of fucking Tony Robbins, I
Speaker 1: mean in terms of like he properly believes all that shit.
Speaker 1: I mean, he'd be like you might go, Lone Island.
Speaker 1: I want this to be I want this to be
Speaker 1: a movie franchise. Right now, I've said it now, I
Speaker 1: said it now. The universe just has to catch up.
Speaker 1: That's that's what he that's what he believes. I mean,
Speaker 1: I said it, now, you just got to get there.
Speaker 1: You've just got to get there. That's that's how he
Speaker 1: sees it. That he loves all that shit. So let's
Speaker 1: so that that is exactly something that Will Smith would go, Look, okay,
Speaker 1: that's all cool. And I like that Mike Lawrence sort
Speaker 1: of bulgy eyes, being hilarious and all that. But we
Speaker 1: must have can we please make sure that we have
Speaker 1: the horsepit in there? That's amazing And he's right too,
Speaker 1: because it has stayed with me ever since. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I fee also because it sneaks in the middle of
Speaker 1: like I think that might be a metaphor for him
Speaker 1: agreeing to do Bad Boys three. You know this horse
Speaker 1: is just Bad Boys? This fucking coming? To do I
Speaker 1: have to do this? Do I have to do? This
Speaker 1: is coming? He's like, Bunny, I need this fucking how
Speaker 1: do I have to do? Where are you going? Now? Fuck?
Speaker 1: I guess I'm doing Bad Boys three? Rumes? Oh, what
Speaker 1: is the what is the film you most relate to?
Speaker 1: Or is it hot? Oh? I've got that's a hard one.
Speaker 1: But and I've got really shit answer for this, Just
Speaker 1: so you know, by the way, I just want to
Speaker 1: clarify at this point, my I know that I've asked
Speaker 1: to be on this podcast from you many times, and
Speaker 1: that might have been many impressions that I consider myself
Speaker 1: to be a film connoisseur. I just want to give
Speaker 1: you some sort of context. Do you know DJ Yoda?
Speaker 1: So DJ Yoda got in touch me a while ago
Speaker 1: and he said to me, I'm doing this film festival
Speaker 1: thing where I'm getting people to curate some of their
Speaker 1: films and introduced him and talk about them, and he goes,
Speaker 1: what would be your films? And he just sort of
Speaker 1: gave me some categories and I told him and I
Speaker 1: basically got myself removed from the festival with my choice
Speaker 1: of movies. But we're not playing hop At, We're not
Speaker 1: having hop care Bears and Men in Black. What's the film?
Speaker 1: He relates? It's American Pie, you know, Jim. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: why I am Jim. I mean, I don't relate to
Speaker 1: many things ever, but I everything about that guy in
Speaker 1: the first film is me man, and I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about I know that sounds like an obvious thing to do,
Speaker 1: like frustrated virgin. But I'm talking about the guy that
Speaker 1: sort of needy in conversations, the guy that I actually
Speaker 1: sometimes think of myself as I basically when when when
Speaker 1: I was about I guess between the years of twelve
Speaker 1: and seventeen, my family life got turned upside down. My
Speaker 1: dad went to prison, house got repossessed, we ended up
Speaker 1: living in council, like a councilor state and all this
Speaker 1: ship right, so very very quick period of time, it
Speaker 1: all got turned upside down. And sometimes I think to myself,
Speaker 1: would I have been like how I am now had
Speaker 1: we not gone through all of that stuff. And I'm
Speaker 1: not saying it's the worst thing that anyone's gone through,
Speaker 1: but it was formative, right, And sometimes I think back
Speaker 1: to how I was as a kid, and I think, no, actually,
Speaker 1: your core, you were a horrendous child and actually sort
Speaker 1: of needy and pathetic and sort of you know, people
Speaker 1: talk about code switching. I used to code switch left
Speaker 1: right center. I remember just so desperate for friends. I
Speaker 1: remember pretending I was into the Smiths just because I
Speaker 1: wanted this new group of people to like me. And
Speaker 1: then like he lent me the guy, one of the
Speaker 1: guys lent me the Smith's album and I didn't even
Speaker 1: listen to because I've got no interest in listening to
Speaker 1: the fucking Smith's right, No disrespect if you liked them,
Speaker 1: but just not for me. Right. And I gave him
Speaker 1: back the tape and he goes, oh, it's weird, it's
Speaker 1: in exactly the same position on the thing that I
Speaker 1: gave it to you. I don't know why he was
Speaker 1: fucking purrowing how whether I listened to the album or not,
Speaker 1: but anyway, Yeah, So the point I'm trying to make
Speaker 1: is that kind of that kind of and also the
Speaker 1: girl's thing as well. I mean, I know I'm talking
Speaker 1: to somebody who's who's the force is very strong in you.
Speaker 1: But I my ability to engage with women, to encourage
Speaker 1: them to respond to me, to see me as anything
Speaker 1: other than a distasteful ornament in their lives, I just
Speaker 1: have got nothing, absolutely nothing. I mean, so that kind
Speaker 1: of that kind of thing where you you pretend, that neediness,
Speaker 1: where you try and be everything that you that you
Speaker 1: think that girl wants you to be. I grew up
Speaker 1: doing that, man, that fucking needy little too. Oh I
Speaker 1: can do that. I can be like that. I can
Speaker 1: I can be like that if you want me to,
Speaker 1: if that if that's if that's what you if that's
Speaker 1: what you're like, Yeah, yeah, no, sure, sure yeah sure.
Speaker 1: What what you don't want to you don't want to
Speaker 1: hang out anymore? Okay, you know that kind of ship
Speaker 1: that I relate to hunt Smiths, Smiths? What did you pay?
Speaker 1: I guess is what I have to ask. No. But
Speaker 1: one of my first routines as a stand up that
Speaker 1: used to be my go to tem was this story,
Speaker 1: obviously made up story about how shore Lankin's always work
Speaker 1: at twenty fire petrol stations. I think I might have
Speaker 1: got rid of this before you and I started getting together.
Speaker 1: It was very very early open spot days. But I
Speaker 1: used the joke would go, and I'm not saying this
Speaker 1: is a good joke, by the way, I'm just telling
Speaker 1: you this was a joke. So I go to stand up.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, So guys, what do you do? So
Speaker 1: the bit was I go to twenty four petrol station
Speaker 1: and I'm looking for a copy of Asian I want
Speaker 1: to get a copy of Asian Babes because I'm so
Speaker 1: lonely or whatever. And so I turned up at the
Speaker 1: twenty four petrol station and my uncle Raj is behind
Speaker 1: the counter. Right, so obviously I can't buy a copy
Speaker 1: of Asian Babes. Then I've got to pretend I'm there
Speaker 1: for something innocent like a cheese and onion pasty and
Speaker 1: then do something with that. Right. That was that was
Speaker 1: a joke, right so, and I think, very good, thanks
Speaker 1: and I mean it wasn't but thank you. But I
Speaker 1: think that joke wouldn't have existed work not for American Pie.
Speaker 1: I think American Pie left its imprint on me so
Speaker 1: much that I thought would be acceptable to make a
Speaker 1: joke about using apacity as a wank sleeve. That is,
Speaker 1: that is essentially what I think that film did to me. Man,
Speaker 1: these films are really really Danu and number what is
Speaker 1: objectively the greatest film of all time? Can I tell
Speaker 1: you something? So you know, I do this hip hop
Speaker 1: podcast and I always say, yeah, thank you. I always
Speaker 1: say to them what's your favorite hip hop on more time?
Speaker 1: And they always say to me, this is a really
Speaker 1: difficult question. I just think, I just fucking answer the question.
Speaker 1: You fucking answer, And now you've now you asked me
Speaker 1: the question, and I realize that I have been a
Speaker 1: prick on to my guests on every single episode of
Speaker 1: Hip Hopsode of My Life. Yeah, for the record, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't do my own podcast because you couldn't answer that question. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean that, I'm not asking ridiculous questions. How they
Speaker 1: Who do you think you are the greatest film of
Speaker 1: all time? Ah? I would say, oh God. But basically
Speaker 1: the reason I'm telling you this because I told Nick
Speaker 1: Helnis and he shouted at me. It's a turn of
Speaker 1: sunshine of the spotless mind. You can absolutely have that.
Speaker 1: I listen. I'm just I'm just delighted you haven't said
Speaker 1: the Godfami. Everyone always says the Godfami, and it annoys
Speaker 1: me because it's not the Godfather. It's definitely not the Godfamier.
Speaker 1: But everyone keeps his head it is. I love that film.
Speaker 1: I fell in love with Kate Winslet in that film,
Speaker 1: and I feel like she undid all of the terrible
Speaker 1: works she didn't Titanic. No, I'm jacking, I really am
Speaker 1: to me. That film made me fall in love with
Speaker 1: the idea of being in love like more than any
Speaker 1: other thing I've ever watched. The whole when he's chasing
Speaker 1: the memories and trying to hold onto them, I just
Speaker 1: found it. Oh god, I love it. I love it
Speaker 1: so so much. It's just and then every time I
Speaker 1: watched that film, I go over to Lisa and I
Speaker 1: kiss her on the forehead because reminds me of how
Speaker 1: much a lover and she says to me, why are
Speaker 1: you being weird? It's it's it's so nice. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I just fucking love that film. It's just a great
Speaker 1: it's a great film, but it's a really great film,
Speaker 1: and it's and I also think the thing I love
Speaker 1: about that film is I think it's, aside from it's
Speaker 1: clever and interesting and original, that is that the end
Speaker 1: is the thing that I think that whenever people say
Speaker 1: what's your biggest regret or anything, it doesn't matter because
Speaker 1: you have to have lived your life to learn the thing.
Speaker 1: So they're just going to do it all over again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's I don't know, I just it's it's
Speaker 1: the one film that I watch. No, it's not true,
Speaker 1: it's not the one film. There's lots of films that
Speaker 1: I love this, but that film when when I watched it.
Speaker 1: You know, the thing with favorite films or films that
Speaker 1: are one of your favorites, is you remember a time
Speaker 1: watching it where you suddenly realized that this is one
Speaker 1: of your favorite films. And I remember sitting and it
Speaker 1: just it came and I've seen it a couple of
Speaker 1: times before, and it came on the telly and I
Speaker 1: had nothing else to do it and I just stuck
Speaker 1: it on and I just I remember just thinking, this
Speaker 1: is one of the most incredible experiences I've had watching
Speaker 1: a film. And I was just on my own in
Speaker 1: my living room at the end of a relationship that
Speaker 1: I mean that probably the context probably helped was the
Speaker 1: relationship where you went to see Scream and was made
Speaker 1: noises and put her up no that that that was
Speaker 1: That was a different third relationship Brett and umay, that
Speaker 1: was another one that I managed to push her away in.
Speaker 1: But that so, but this was like I remember just
Speaker 1: sort of watching it and just thinking, I really want
Speaker 1: to be head over heels in love with someone because
Speaker 1: this film has made me fall in love with the
Speaker 1: idea of that. Mean, so there you go. That's deadly
Speaker 1: m thinkers across I find it. By the way, Yeah,
Speaker 1: good luck man, thanks man, keep believing. Promise Let Me
Speaker 1: in the Eye. The sexiest film you've ever seen. I
Speaker 1: don't have good answers for these. I don't know what
Speaker 1: you mean. But what do you mean by sexy film?
Speaker 1: Because if you're talking about if you're talking about the
Speaker 1: non pornographic film that I had an erection for the
Speaker 1: for the most amount of time, it would be basic.
Speaker 1: It would be Basic Instinct. Great because there was a
Speaker 1: bit of context of this story. So I think I
Speaker 1: was I was underaged to watch this film when it
Speaker 1: came out. And a friend of mine and who's eighteen. Yes,
Speaker 1: I was a fourteen year old boy hanging out with
Speaker 1: an eighteen year and there's nothing weird about that. And
Speaker 1: we went to the cinema together and he said to me,
Speaker 1: I'm going to try and get you into watch Basic Instinct,
Speaker 1: but try and be mature. And at that time, all
Speaker 1: we'd heard about was the you know, the infamous legs
Speaker 1: on crossing bit, right, So that's kind of that was
Speaker 1: the bit that got us, that had got us to
Speaker 1: the door. The marketing team had done an absolutely fucking
Speaker 1: cracking job on that, right, So, um, yeah, they really did,
Speaker 1: and I remember, And so I think it was the
Speaker 1: adrenaline of trying to get into an eighteen film that
Speaker 1: added to this I was very, very excited. So then
Speaker 1: there was a lot of blood flowing anyway around the
Speaker 1: system because I was nervous about getting into the film.
Speaker 1: There's no reason to get nervous, I realized in hindsight,
Speaker 1: because all they can say is you can't come in.
Speaker 1: You don't get arrested if you try and get into
Speaker 1: an eighteen film. There are no stressful Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: incredibly stressful, but the worst that can happen is you
Speaker 1: go on and continue to live your life as you
Speaker 1: did before. We're gonna get a record. I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: a criminal record. Yeah. So, anyway, we got in Torch
Speaker 1: bas against it. I remember my friend having a go
Speaker 1: at me because he said that I'd said a couple
Speaker 1: of immature things when we're baring popcorn. But and they
Speaker 1: went to sit in to watch it. Fourteen year old
Speaker 1: thing to say, you're idiot. Yeah, it was no, he
Speaker 1: did say that something like that. I can't remember what
Speaker 1: I said. I can't remember what I remember him really
Speaker 1: having a go at me as if he might be
Speaker 1: arrested for being my accomplice in trying to get me
Speaker 1: into this film. Right. So, anyway, we went into the
Speaker 1: film and I just found the amount of sex in
Speaker 1: it and the nature of the sex. There's a there's
Speaker 1: a there's a lot of varieties of sex in it.
Speaker 1: There's the sex where Sharon Stone's riding him for a
Speaker 1: long time and it's very, very essential. There's a bit
Speaker 1: where he has sex with his his wife and he
Speaker 1: just I didn't really just bends her over that seat
Speaker 1: and just absolutely fucking has at it in about a minute. Um,
Speaker 1: and then yeah, and then and then there's something that
Speaker 1: I've seen with what Sea. Yeah, I mean sorry, I
Speaker 1: should Yeah, do you know what I thought you were? Again?
Speaker 1: I think you could at least have the decency to
Speaker 1: name it, rom It if you get to talk about
Speaker 1: the scene. Her name is Jeane Tripple. She deserves that much,
Speaker 1: rob Esh. I realized she was just a fucking sofa
Speaker 1: decoration to you, Romesh. She's actually had a long and
Speaker 1: very careers as in water World, thank you. Yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I just remember being absolutely fucking blown away. But I
Speaker 1: just thought this is so hot, and I've got such
Speaker 1: a hard on for so much of this film. I
Speaker 1: felt nervous about when we were watching the film, he
Speaker 1: was already got angry with me about the popcorn thing.
Speaker 1: I felt I felt too nervous to say to him,
Speaker 1: this has really given me an erection, because I felt
Speaker 1: like that would be another very fourteen year old thing
Speaker 1: to say, Oh you got a fourteen year old bonus.
Speaker 1: Stop it. It's almost like that's why I brought you here. Anyway,
Speaker 1: point Trump, there is a sub category of this question
Speaker 1: traveling boners, worrying, why don'ts? What is a film you
Speaker 1: found a rousing that you weren't sure you should. You
Speaker 1: must have had this a lot of times. But it's
Speaker 1: who friend Roger Rabbit, it's the late Bob Hoskins gives
Speaker 1: me such a hard on. No, that's a guy smoking baby.
Speaker 1: It's like it's a baby, but it's so naughty. You
Speaker 1: just don't give a shit, do you, baby? You've repeatedly
Speaker 1: been told not to smoke. You ain't fucking listen because
Speaker 1: baby doesn't care about the rules, do you? Baby? Ship that? Good? S? Oh? God?
Speaker 1: Good answer? Right? What is well? We don't like it
Speaker 1: to be negative? To do it quick? What's the what's
Speaker 1: the worst film you've ever seen? The worst film I've
Speaker 1: ever seen is a film called The Telephone staring Whoopie Goldberg.
Speaker 1: Now this. I don't know this film. Yeah, so this
Speaker 1: film was I went through a phase of really loving
Speaker 1: Whoopie Goldberg. You know, I watched The Burglar, I don't
Speaker 1: even seen it, Jumping Jack Flash. I liked all the Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. And so I went through a phase
Speaker 1: of every time I went to my parents, would we'd
Speaker 1: go to the videos still every week, as I'm sure
Speaker 1: a lot of families did, and we'd all have a
Speaker 1: choice sort of, and I'd always choose. I went through
Speaker 1: a phase of choosing Whoopie Goldberg. Right. Anyway, One of
Speaker 1: those films was The Telephone, and I was very, very
Speaker 1: excited because I'd heard nothing about The Telephone, and the
Speaker 1: whole film is Whoopie Goldberg's character in her apartments, making
Speaker 1: different phone calls and receiving phone calls. And I think,
Speaker 1: I can't remember what it was that I think she's
Speaker 1: she isn't she's an actor in it, an out of
Speaker 1: work actor or something like that. I can't remember. But anyway,
Speaker 1: long that it is obviously an experiment. That film they thought.
Speaker 1: I imagine the inception of that film was Whoopee Godberg's
Speaker 1: incredibly charismatic. She's so charismatic. I bet you could do
Speaker 1: a film where she just sat in her apartment for
Speaker 1: the whole time and it would still be great. And
Speaker 1: I was the one twat that fell for that experiment
Speaker 1: because it's one of the worst fucking abominations and was seen.
Speaker 1: But also I don't know if it's whoopy gobers, but
Speaker 1: the whole thing was a car crash. In fact, I
Speaker 1: say car crash. Already been grateful for some sort of
Speaker 1: car crash in it, something to take you out of
Speaker 1: the apartment, just for even thirty seconds. It was dreadful,
Speaker 1: sorry in it. No, I think the story there is
Speaker 1: a story, there's no there's a I think there's a
Speaker 1: story about her trying to get a job or whatever,
Speaker 1: so that she's getting different phone calls throughout the evening,
Speaker 1: and I think she's talking down the barrel of the camera.
Speaker 1: My dad. I remember my dad being furious with me
Speaker 1: for for renting out this film because obviously I was
Speaker 1: watching it with the whole family, and he just found
Speaker 1: it astounding because obviously he didn't realize. He thought that
Speaker 1: when somebody chooses a film, they've watched that film and
Speaker 1: had some part in the making of that film. That
Speaker 1: was my dad's Stitu. Yeah it was. I made all
Speaker 1: the creative choices in that film, so so obviously I'm
Speaker 1: the right person to be annoyed with about the fact
Speaker 1: this is an abomination. That's interesting to me because genuinely,
Speaker 1: that's how I feel when I showed people films like
Speaker 1: the reason I preferred one of the reasons I prefer
Speaker 1: going singing around my own is that I feel like,
Speaker 1: if I take someone and they don't like it, it's
Speaker 1: my fault for having made the film, even though it's
Speaker 1: so bad. I feel and I feel like that about films.
Speaker 1: I feel that like that when I take anybody to
Speaker 1: try anything vegan, that the pressure that you have, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just horrible, Yeah, because you're like, yeah, with the
Speaker 1: vegan stuff, it's like you've got one shot at this. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: even if this is a good meal. Yeah, I even
Speaker 1: feel change something. I even feel the pressure when I'm
Speaker 1: the only person eating something vegan and everybody else is
Speaker 1: hitting meat and then they go to me, what's that like?
Speaker 1: And I get nervous because it's nice, But then I
Speaker 1: get nervous that they're going to try it and then
Speaker 1: go so that's what you think's nice? So had I
Speaker 1: not tried that, I would have thought that was a
Speaker 1: nice thing, But now I've tried it, it tastes like shit,
Speaker 1: and you think that's nice. I just know you even
Speaker 1: treat being vegan like borrowing the Smiths. Yeah, man, what
Speaker 1: is the film you cannot have? What's the most over
Speaker 1: and over again? The film that I've watched over and
Speaker 1: over again is because there's a couple of contenders for
Speaker 1: this is Bad Santa. Bad Santa is in my top
Speaker 1: ten films of all time. Fuck me, that film is great.
Speaker 1: I think Bad Santa is a perfect film. And you
Speaker 1: know what, I relate, Bad the Team, Bad Center and
Speaker 1: School of Rock are both films that if you were like,
Speaker 1: what's the trailer, they look like a film you've seen
Speaker 1: you sort of go, yeah, yeah, it's that kind of film,
Speaker 1: But you've never seen that film done so perfectly as
Speaker 1: those two is tremendous. What a movie. Love it? I
Speaker 1: love it. I love everything about it. And there's one
Speaker 1: bit that you know you're talking about the Will Smith
Speaker 1: that the bit of philosophy and Bad Boys three. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is not this is not quite up there, right,
Speaker 1: but it really did put across the idea of human nature,
Speaker 1: made me think about life this part of the film,
Speaker 1: and there's a bit where Billy Bob Thornton's character is
Speaker 1: sitting in the mall or the department store canteen and
Speaker 1: he's eating he's eating his lunch and he's in the
Speaker 1: center outfit and this mum and her kid they spot
Speaker 1: him and she the mum takes him over right to
Speaker 1: go and say hello to She's going go and say
Speaker 1: hello to Santa. And then he's obviously just trying to
Speaker 1: ignore them because he just wants to eat his lunch.
Speaker 1: She doesn't give a fuck about being Santa. And the
Speaker 1: kid comes up and then he just goes, goes, I'm
Speaker 1: just trying, and it's like a bit let us flies
Speaker 1: out of his out of his mouth, and it just
Speaker 1: really made me laugh because I just thought to myself,
Speaker 1: I sympathize with everybody in that scene, right, because that
Speaker 1: mum is trying, she's under a lot of pressure. She's
Speaker 1: she's obviously she might not be able to afford to
Speaker 1: spend the time chewing up or even pay for that
Speaker 1: Santa experience for her kids to go and see Santa.
Speaker 1: She's trying to make she's trying to give her a
Speaker 1: kid a good Christmas. That kid's obviously in the right
Speaker 1: because he just loves Santa and he's like, you know,
Speaker 1: he might be coming, you know, who knows what year
Speaker 1: he's had to lead up to that Christmas and he
Speaker 1: just wants to go and talk to Santa. He suddenly
Speaker 1: got the opportunity to talk to Santa, and Billy Bob
Speaker 1: Thornton I totally sympathize with him as well because he's
Speaker 1: just trying to have his fuck in lunch, do you
Speaker 1: I mean? And that that whole thing made me think
Speaker 1: about empathy. I mean, if somebody, if one person in
Speaker 1: that scene had thought about what would be like to
Speaker 1: be one of the other people in that scene, we
Speaker 1: never have had that fucking nightmare of a situation. Billy
Speaker 1: Bob Thorn and all he's got to think about is
Speaker 1: this kid's just trying to enjoy his Christmas. This Mom's
Speaker 1: all that mum's got to think about is that guy's
Speaker 1: been talking to kids all fucking day. He's not going
Speaker 1: to want to talk to a kid doing And do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean that that was such an
Speaker 1: eye opener to me. I mean, I love that scene
Speaker 1: for that, but there's so much good stuff about it.
Speaker 1: You know the bit where the old woman's sleeping in
Speaker 1: the living room and then it pounds out of the
Speaker 1: window and they're having sex in the hot time and
Speaker 1: she's just gonna fuck me. It's so good, Bernie Mack
Speaker 1: saying her half half. Also, it does the thing. It's
Speaker 1: like a perfect bit of screenwriting because you know, you
Speaker 1: watch bad Tanner when you go, oh, well, it's going
Speaker 1: to be about him becoming good or learning to be nice,
Speaker 1: and even at the very end with everything that happens,
Speaker 1: the film plays it both ways, like he's not nice.
Speaker 1: At the end, he's still there's a yes, yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: for that. For the stuff, it's fucking great. It's as
Speaker 1: good as Bad Soner Too is terrible. I went to
Speaker 1: see Bad Tancer two and I forgave it all of
Speaker 1: it's many, many, many crimes, just because I was like
Speaker 1: happy to know, I know, you just sort of go. Actually,
Speaker 1: even if they didn't even even if Billy Bob Thornton
Speaker 1: as as as Soner did like a Facebook live, we
Speaker 1: didn't even have you know what I mean, Yeah, he
Speaker 1: just sort of chatted for a bit about his attitude
Speaker 1: to all the stuff. I fucking watched that I got
Speaker 1: to watch Okay, you're in comedy, right, What's the film
Speaker 1: that made he laughed the most? Probably plays Trains and Automobiles.
Speaker 1: I just I just think that dynamic between John Candy
Speaker 1: and Steve Martin is absolutely perfect. It's absolutely perfect. And
Speaker 1: that film has been attempted to be remade, all versions
Speaker 1: of that film done many times since, and they've never
Speaker 1: got it right, quite right because Steve Martin, Steve Martin's
Speaker 1: escalation to be getting pissed off and then his comeback
Speaker 1: down is so perfectly done. And John Candy's level of
Speaker 1: being an annoying prick against how sweet he is is
Speaker 1: so perfectly done that you go with it the whole.
Speaker 1: It's so lovely and so funny Steve that film. You
Speaker 1: never get annoyed with Steve Martin for being angry with
Speaker 1: John Candy, and you never get annoyed with John Candy
Speaker 1: for being who he is, because because they do it
Speaker 1: no perfect And I remember watching I watched du Date,
Speaker 1: and I was very excited about watching Due Date because
Speaker 1: which Due Date is essentially playing Trains and Automobiles, where
Speaker 1: with Robert Danny Jr. Who I love, Zach Galliphnakis, who
Speaker 1: I love, and it's also got a cameo from Danny McBride,
Speaker 1: who I think is fucking amazing. But they I thought,
Speaker 1: into my mind, I felt like Robert Danny Junior's character
Speaker 1: was a little bit of touch, too dislikable, and Zach Galliphernakis,
Speaker 1: yeah it's too mean. I don't know, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah it is. But there's there's an amazing bit in
Speaker 1: that in due Date. I know we're supposed to be
Speaker 1: talking about planes trains, but there's an amazing bit in
Speaker 1: Dude Date that made me rethink how I write comedy
Speaker 1: dialogue completely where they've gone to visit Jamie Fox, they go,
Speaker 1: it's just like, it's just because the randomness of it
Speaker 1: that was so funny. It wasn't a setup punch, it
Speaker 1: was just so and I just thought they must have
Speaker 1: just been talking and they come up with this because
Speaker 1: they've just been to Jamie Fox's house and Zach Gallaphannakis
Speaker 1: is talking to Robert Danny June about how he thinks
Speaker 1: that Jamie Fox might have slept with his wife, right,
Speaker 1: and then he says, do you think that they have
Speaker 1: panda babies at San Francisco Zoo? Just approprised of nothing.
Speaker 1: They're just having a different conversation and Robert Downey and
Speaker 1: he goes, can I just ask what the train of
Speaker 1: thought was that led you to ask me that question?
Speaker 1: And it goes, well, it was, well, I just as
Speaker 1: thinking about how if those two had sex, they probably
Speaker 1: might have had babies, and then if they had those babies,
Speaker 1: what one of those babies look like. And then that's
Speaker 1: thinking about pandas and the panda babies. We've come to
Speaker 1: the end. You've been absolutely wonderful. However, when you were
Speaker 1: in the in the park with your wife and kids,
Speaker 1: you got annoyed with them because they weren't talking, they
Speaker 1: weren't practicing the eulogy that you'd written for them to
Speaker 1: do at your funeral. Yeah, and you went for a
Speaker 1: walk and you tripped and you fell down quite a
Speaker 1: small ditch, to be fair, and your foot got stuck
Speaker 1: at the bottom of it, and you were just like
Speaker 1: and you sort of leaned against it. I mean, he's
Speaker 1: literally a couple of meter two meters deep this ditch,
Speaker 1: and you couldn't be bothered to sort of climb out.
Speaker 1: You just lay there for a bit and eventually you
Speaker 1: died of starvation after about four weeks, and I went
Speaker 1: looking for you because your wife and kids didn't seem
Speaker 1: that bother that the it feels weird that it feels
Speaker 1: weird that you'd be the go to person for them
Speaker 1: to ask. I know, w well, yeah, And in a way,
Speaker 1: I'm sort of like there's a sadness to me that
Speaker 1: I'm the only person that's thinking of it after four
Speaker 1: weeks that there hasn't been more of a sort of anyway.
Speaker 1: But that's that's by the bye. I find you at
Speaker 1: the bottom of this ditch. But because you've been there
Speaker 1: a long time, you're in quite a staate. Like grass
Speaker 1: has grown over you, like animals have been eating at you,
Speaker 1: Like there's bits of things that are now stuck to you.
Speaker 1: There's some rubbish that's just come in the ditch. You've
Speaker 1: got a plastic baggert or like you're a fucking mess.
Speaker 1: I got you this coffin. It was the size of you,
Speaker 1: but there's more of you than i'd expected, So I
Speaker 1: have to chop you up into fucking bits, and I'm
Speaker 1: stuffing you inside this coffin. I'm having to like fucking
Speaker 1: elbow bits in anyway, I managed to get you all in,
Speaker 1: but it's rammed, and there's only enough room in this
Speaker 1: coffin for one DVD that I can slide in the side.
Speaker 1: You can take that to the other side of you.
Speaker 1: And on the other side there's a movie note every
Speaker 1: night and one note it's movie night. One night, it's
Speaker 1: your movie nighte What movie are you taking to show
Speaker 1: to everyone on the other side? Juice? Yes, huh, Hu's
Speaker 1: a film. I love that film. It's a great are
Speaker 1: you going to be very popular in Heaven? Tupac was
Speaker 1: so charming in that movie. The d James Seems are
Speaker 1: so great in that film. It says everything I want
Speaker 1: people to. It frames hip hop in a way that
Speaker 1: I find delightful. It's a good representative for the culture
Speaker 1: that I love so much, and it's a great story.
Speaker 1: I love that film. It's a coming It's a great
Speaker 1: coming of age film. I love it. And it's a
Speaker 1: sort of film that if I put it on in Heaven,
Speaker 1: people go up. Rush is cool. We had a We're
Speaker 1: a cool choice a while ago. We've had We've had
Speaker 1: The Godfather twenty seven nights in a row. And then
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what broke it up that you know,
Speaker 1: the one that sits on his own a lot. He
Speaker 1: put on juice. We just made the word the other
Speaker 1: one that probably his head pretended to listening to the Smiths. Romes,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for your time. Thank you. Anything
Speaker 1: you would like to tell anyone to look out for
Speaker 1: No over the coming weeks. No, absolutely, just this point.
Speaker 1: I would like to tell them to look out for
Speaker 1: your live DJing set, which I hope is happening soon. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's gonna have been minutes the live just fucking nothing
Speaker 1: but bangers, nothing but bangers, nothing but banging. Yeah with
Speaker 1: Rames ranging Athan. Thank you so much for your time.
Speaker 1: Man to stop the recording now, have a lovely time,
Speaker 1: good good night, Thanks love you baby. That was the
Speaker 1: re wine classic with Romeo, Frank and APM. What's that?
Speaker 1: Brilliant man? God, he's great and he I hope you're
Speaker 1: all well at home or in the gym, or in
Speaker 1: a car, or on the train, or on the tube
Speaker 1: or in the sea. You can listen to these things
Speaker 1: in the scene now. I do very well with fish.
Speaker 1: Thanks to Scrubby as Pip and the distracting pieces of Network.
Speaker 1: Thanks to Buddy Piece for producing it. Thanks to ACAS
Speaker 1: for hosting it thanks to Adding Richardson for the graphics
Speaker 1: and Les allied Them for the photography. I hope you're
Speaker 1: all well. I appreciate you all listening. I'll be back
Speaker 1: next week with another absolute banging, all time classic. In
Speaker 1: the meantime, have a lovely week, and all of you
Speaker 1: please be excellent to each other and crust everybody. It
Speaker 1: was uncross was that it was across