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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case story Time podcast hosts, and we have some

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Speaker 1: ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want

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Speaker 1: to hear the wisdom from two old heads that know

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Speaker 1: more than they know what to do with, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to wait for a quick message from our sponsors

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Speaker 1: for the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: I cut off my husband's family after he passed away.

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Speaker 3: Which wish, yes, me cut that's the blade cutting off,

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Speaker 3: got it?

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Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay, storytime,

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Speaker 2: separate it. My husband and I him thirty three and

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Speaker 2: I thirty one when he passed had known each other

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Speaker 2: since I was twelve or thirteen years old. He was

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Speaker 2: my brother's best friend in high school. I worked for

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Speaker 2: my dad and was around our family when I was

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Speaker 2: married to my ex. We started seeing each other after

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Speaker 2: a year of me being separated from my ex, and

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Speaker 2: shortly after we found out I had gotten pregnant. This

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Speaker 2: was a huge deal because I already had three kids

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Speaker 2: with my ex husband and my husband had been a

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Speaker 2: bachelor his whole life, so it was going to be

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Speaker 2: a major change from By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: no Corner ninety three, ninety eight, and if you want

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Speaker 2: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay storytime suppared it. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, I'm Carly,

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Speaker 2: and we're.

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Speaker 4: Here to give good advice.

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Speaker 2: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers. We only

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Speaker 2: know what we'd do, So let us know what you

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Speaker 2: would do in the comments, and Opie says, we did

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Speaker 2: everything the best we could to introduce him as my

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Speaker 2: partner to my kids, and he very quickly became an

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Speaker 2: amazing step dad. They loved him so much. He coached

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Speaker 2: my son's football team, gave advice, spent quality time with

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Speaker 2: all three of the kids, and was so patient and kind.

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Speaker 2: He moved in with us a few months after, and

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Speaker 2: we were so happy. Before our son was born, we

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Speaker 2: put down a payment on a new build and watched

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Speaker 2: her home be built. We moved into our new home

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Speaker 2: in August, and in October we got secretly married in Mexico.

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Speaker 2: The people we spent time with knew that we referred

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Speaker 2: to each other as husband and wife even before we

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Speaker 2: were legally married. Only his best friend and the wife

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Speaker 2: knew that we were legally married. Ten days before my

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Speaker 2: son turned one, my husband passed away. To this day,

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Speaker 2: nothing makes sense about it how he passed. He was

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Speaker 2: hit by a car while at work and was in

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Speaker 2: so much pain, then suddenly passed in his sleep four

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Speaker 2: days later.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 2: The autopsy says he passed of natural causes, but it

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Speaker 2: doesn't make sense for a thirty three year old healthy

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Speaker 2: male to just pass of natural causes. We obviously started

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Speaker 2: talking about suing the man who hit my husband with

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Speaker 2: his truck, and think this is where his family became

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Speaker 2: very selfish. I guess the thought of making a buck

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Speaker 2: outweigh a relationship with their grandson and nephew and me.

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Speaker 2: They were not happy when I called myself his wife

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Speaker 2: to the corner, well, you're legally his wife because you

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Speaker 2: got married.

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Speaker 5: In secret, secret wedding. You guys know nothing, Yeah, you

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Speaker 5: know nothing for in law.

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Speaker 2: They could object, but you can be like, well here's

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Speaker 2: the information.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law and younger sister in law objected

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Speaker 2: and said we had only been together for a short time,

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Speaker 2: but the corner told them I was the wife and

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Speaker 2: shut them down.

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Speaker 3: Boom corners corner confirmation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. When we went to the funeral home to plan.

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Speaker 2: I asked mother in law and sister in laws what

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Speaker 2: they wanted, and I picked everything based on what they wanted,

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Speaker 2: except for the clothes I wanted him. Married in the

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Speaker 2: funeral home told us the date when the pill was due,

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Speaker 2: and no one spoke up on what amount of money

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Speaker 2: they would be helping with. My dad and I showed

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Speaker 2: up on the due date at four pm to pay

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Speaker 2: in full because no one else had offered to help

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Speaker 2: with any cost. The funeral and reception was over thirty

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars.

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, that's so much money.

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Speaker 2: Just bearing me the cheapest way possible, right, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I would like to be cremated. If there's a cheaper way,

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Speaker 2: that's okay. Just put some dirt on me, pers some

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Speaker 2: dirt on me, get rid of me. I'm gone. I

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Speaker 2: don't care.

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Speaker 5: It costs nothing to say your piece.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, say it at your house.

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Speaker 4: Sure.

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Speaker 2: Mother in law invited my husband's ex girlfriend to the

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Speaker 2: funeral and asked her to sit with the family. She

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Speaker 2: was mad because I wanted to keep my husband's necklace

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Speaker 2: for my son instead of bearing him with it. Of course,

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Speaker 2: of course you would. That's your son, like, that's a

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Speaker 2: connection to your husband. Yeah, his family does not sound

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Speaker 2: very thoughtful. Mother in law and younger sister in law

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Speaker 2: showed up to the funeral home with multiple people to

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Speaker 2: cut my husband's hair after being told to come alone.

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Speaker 2: While mother in law was there, she demanded that the

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Speaker 2: crucifix needed to be handed to her after the priest

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Speaker 2: blessed it, even after being told that would be going

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Speaker 2: to me. If she would have asked me for it,

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Speaker 2: I would have gladly given it to her. My sister

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Speaker 2: in law changed the obituary that my best friend and

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Speaker 2: I wrote. She said I just wanted to fix some

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Speaker 2: grammar and took out any mention of me being the wife,

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Speaker 2: only referring to us as partners.

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Speaker 5: What the heck? It's like, Well, that's not true, that's

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Speaker 5: not grammar. That's not grammatically or legally her eggs. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: what about that, Paul.

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Speaker 2: When she changed it back to me, I let it

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Speaker 2: be that she changed ninety percent of what it said,

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Speaker 2: but I changed it back to calling my husband and

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Speaker 2: sent that to the funeral home for the online obituary.

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Speaker 2: At the funeral, my mother in law did not hug

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Speaker 2: me back when I went to say hi. My younger

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Speaker 2: sister in law told me I had to sit on

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Speaker 2: a different side than them at the The funeral home

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Speaker 2: lady told me that the wife sits on the side

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Speaker 2: they told me not to sit at My younger sister

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Speaker 2: in law had to print out of the obituary that

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Speaker 2: she was handing out, and it was the version that

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Speaker 2: only referred to him as my partner, and she had

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Speaker 2: a different picture printed of my husband, even though I

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Speaker 2: printed a picture that they picked. Mother in law ended

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Speaker 2: up buying a separate crucifix so she could have it

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Speaker 2: blessed as well, but when the priest blessed both, she

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Speaker 2: purposely took the one I purchased from the funeral home.

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Speaker 2: I would have been none the wiser, but the funeral

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Speaker 2: home lady came to me in private and told me

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Speaker 2: that the one I was holding was not mine and

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Speaker 2: that my mother in law took mine, which was apparently gold.

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Speaker 2: These people are terrible. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 5: What's some mother in law? What kind of stick you

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Speaker 5: got up your butt? Yeah, let's get your booty sick.

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Speaker 2: Out of here? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Go home with that with your bootysick? Are your butt?

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Speaker 2: I mean, like you're both you're all dealing with the

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Speaker 2: loss of this person.

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Speaker 5: That you love.

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Speaker 2: Why do you have to diminish oh Ke's love? Why

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Speaker 2: can't it all just be a sign that you're your

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Speaker 2: son was so deeply loved.

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Speaker 3: Right, this priest has got to like cleanse your face

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Speaker 3: and bless this booty sick so that maybe when that

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Speaker 3: sick is up butt, maybe it's maybe you.

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Speaker 2: Won't be so terrible.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, bless that bootysick.

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Speaker 2: Bless the boost.

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Speaker 5: Sure.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: At the reception, my mother in law did not speak

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Speaker 2: to me at all, and I later found out that

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Speaker 2: she had my husband's ex girlfriend helping her walk around

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Speaker 2: the whole time, introducing.

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Speaker 4: Her to people.

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Speaker 2: What Then she and my younger sister in law left

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Speaker 2: without saying anything. My older sister in law asked me

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Speaker 2: to give her my husband's phone so she could unlock

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Speaker 2: it for me the day he passed away. She then

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Speaker 2: let me ask for it for two weeks, giving the

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Speaker 2: excuses on why she couldn't meet up that day. When

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Speaker 2: I finally asked her if she had any intention of

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Speaker 2: giving it back to me, she said no because her

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Speaker 2: brother was a private person and I shouldn't be allowed

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Speaker 2: to go through his phone. When I said I wanted

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Speaker 2: pictures and banking information from his phone. She told me

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Speaker 2: I must be hiding something. What her logic didn't understand

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Speaker 2: that she had had his phone for two weeks and

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Speaker 2: if I were riding something, she could have easily found it.

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Speaker 2: After the funeral, three weeks after his passing, my older

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Speaker 2: sister in law invited me to dinner and promised to

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Speaker 2: give my husband's phone back to me. At this dinner,

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Speaker 2: she again told me she didn't actually want to give

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Speaker 2: me the phone. I disclosed that we had gotten married

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Speaker 2: in Mexico and we hadn't told anyone but the lawyers,

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Speaker 2: and they suggested I tell the immediate family before they

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Speaker 2: found out in the court proceedings.

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Speaker 5: I'm so supposed that she hasn't already.

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Speaker 2: I would have, Yeah, I would have already told them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I would have been like, just so it's clear I

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Speaker 2: am his legal wife.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was kind of like assuming that, like with all this,

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Speaker 3: they knew, because like it feels like she's like, well

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Speaker 3: they just won't yeah, just won't give me the did

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Speaker 3: they know?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I won't call me his wife? Like what's going on?

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Speaker 2: It's like, well, maybe did they know?

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Speaker 3: It's still rude, but yeah, maybe like tell them, show

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Speaker 3: them the legal documents.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then go from there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I left the dinner with the problem of her letting

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Speaker 2: me borrow the phone so I could get the pictures

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Speaker 2: and information I needed, But she didn't bring the phone

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Speaker 2: with her to dinner. Two days later, she let me

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Speaker 2: know that she did not believe me that we had

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Speaker 2: gotten married in Mexico and told me she spoke to

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Speaker 2: a lawyer and had no obligation to give me the

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Speaker 2: physical phone. What do you mean, literally, I'm just sending

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Speaker 2: her the marriage license. Yeah, I'm like, it's open to

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Speaker 2: the public. Yeah, here you go, here's the marriage license.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 3: Also, you really spoke to a lawyer to see if

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Speaker 3: you needed to see if it was okay to give

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Speaker 3: or to keep your brother's phone and not show it

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Speaker 3: to his wife.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: That feels so fake because it's so many lengths to

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Speaker 3: go to. Yeah, to find out that small bit of information.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: After I waited the four days because I couldn't do

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Speaker 2: the two step verification process, I found out that she

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Speaker 2: had canceled my request on his physical phone. I had

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Speaker 2: to call Apple and wait another five days to be

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Speaker 2: able to have access. Around this time, it got back

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Speaker 2: to me from my husband's best friend that my mother

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Speaker 2: in law had been telling me many people that I

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Speaker 2: had poison my husband. Oh and at this point, we've

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Speaker 2: learned that these people are insane.

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Speaker 5: They're so crazy.

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Speaker 2: These people are they're telling other people that you unlive

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Speaker 2: your husband. Dude, They're actually insane.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like trying to come up with some sort

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Speaker 3: of coping mechanism for this this grief.

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Speaker 5: That they're carrying.

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Speaker 2: Horrible, horrible.

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Speaker 4: It's like, you can't be you can't be like, you know, blaming.

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Speaker 5: Someone else for the loss of this guy's life.

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Speaker 4: We know what happened.

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Speaker 5: Like, yes, some people said that like.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it was natural causes, but like I feel like,

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Speaker 3: you know, those natural causes could be that when you

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Speaker 3: get hit by a car, yeah, you might pass away.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty natural. That was a pretty weird way

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Speaker 2: for the doctors to put it when there was like

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Speaker 2: an obvious probably like an obvious reason, yeah, the internal bleeding.

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Speaker 2: Maybe there was some sort of thing that happened in

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Speaker 2: the car accident, right, which I mean that happens, you know,

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Speaker 2: where someone gets through like in a traumatic injury. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then things that they're fine, but there's some internal

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Speaker 2: thing going on, Right, it's weird that they didn't look

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Speaker 2: into that further.

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Speaker 3: It's so weird because it's like, well, then what does

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Speaker 3: not what do natural causes even mean? Because it's like

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Speaker 3: there's so many different ways that we talk about someone's passing.

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Speaker 5: It was like, Okay, yeah, they got hit by a car.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they passed away from cancer or from this

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Speaker 3: disease or whatever.

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Speaker 2: What what are you considering natural clause?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Because usually how people use that word to communicate is

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Speaker 3: like when it's someone old and their body just stopped working,

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Speaker 3: because yeah, it couldn't last that.

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Speaker 2: This guy was like thirty one, thirty three, Yeah, thirty three.

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Speaker 2: That's not natural causes. That's something happened after the car

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Speaker 2: accident that you guys didn't see.

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Speaker 6: Yes, a natural cause of passing is a passing that

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Speaker 6: occurs due to an internal disease or the body's natural

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Speaker 6: aging process without external forces, like accidents.

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Speaker 2: Are violent, which is not what happened here.

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Speaker 6: Examples include heart disease, stroke, cancer, and organ failure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like wouldn't they mention any of that stuff though,

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Speaker 3: Like you could still consider it natural causes, but wouldn't

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Speaker 3: you mention like, yeah, there's like this internal problem.

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Speaker 2: They were just like, I don't know, you just it's

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Speaker 2: just that's all we got. Since then, my mother in

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Speaker 2: law is hidden my husband's car that was parked at

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Speaker 2: her house, kept his dog, kept a watch that was

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Speaker 2: for my son, kept some other personal belongings that were

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Speaker 2: supposed to be given to me, forged my husband's signature

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Speaker 2: on a power of attorney for his car.

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Speaker 4: You can seer for that, you.

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Speaker 2: Can absolutely if you approve of that, you can seer yep,

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Speaker 2: and continue to spread rumors that my husband was not

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Speaker 2: that serious about me, didn't believe our son was his,

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Speaker 2: and that I poison him. And that's when you get

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Speaker 2: the paternity test and just start saying here you go, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you have a stapled PAM or like staple document

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Speaker 2: that's the paternity test, your marriage license, and then like

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Speaker 2: doctor's report. Yeah, and we just we just bring that out, yud.

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Speaker 5: Dude, I totally forgot she was pregnant. Yeah, that's awful.

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Speaker 2: Let me make it clear that my husband was not

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Speaker 2: rich and only had a fifteen thousand dollars life insurance

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Speaker 2: policy that was not even in my name. It was

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Speaker 2: in the older sister's name. And she kept it all.

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Speaker 2: If it were not for my dad, I would have

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Speaker 2: lost my home already, and I can't afford to live

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Speaker 2: in the home that we just bought together myself. My

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Speaker 2: lawyer file a petition to make me executor of his estate,

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Speaker 2: a townhouse that he only brought three years ago and

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Speaker 2: his last paycheck, and it was granted within a couple

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Speaker 2: of days. But a month later, my mother in law

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Speaker 2: file the petition against me, saying I am not his

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Speaker 2: wife and my son is not my husband's those are

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Speaker 2: so easily disproved. She added two testimonies of two women

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Speaker 2: claiming to be his best friend to say that he

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Speaker 2: expressed to them he had no intention of ever marrying me,

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Speaker 2: and then he asked me multiple times for a DNA test.

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Speaker 2: One of these women met my son and me on

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Speaker 2: the day my husband passed, and the other woman only

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Speaker 2: met my son once and me twice and is the

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Speaker 2: older sister in law's best friend since high school. My

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Speaker 2: lawyers gladly sent over my marriage certificate and the DNA

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Speaker 2: test proving my husband is the father. We had the

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Speaker 2: undertaker at the funeral home take the DNA sample before

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Speaker 2: we buried my husband. She is still not dropping the

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Speaker 2: petition against me and is asking for a settlement. No,

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Speaker 2: at this point, sue her, so she's defaming you. Sue

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Speaker 2: her for.

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Speaker 5: Having a booty stick into a butt.

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Speaker 2: Also that I think.

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Speaker 5: That legally, legally, no one should have.

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Speaker 2: A stick up there. But you're arrested for that, to jail,

320
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Speaker 2: to strike, to jail. She wants another DNA test and

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Speaker 2: wants a relationship with her grandson if he really is

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Speaker 2: my husband's. But there is a little bit left to

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Speaker 2: this story. Just keeps getting worse, just keeps getting worse.

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Speaker 3: Booty stick, upper buttons, just getting so much, so much

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Speaker 3: worse for her. I feel like I need should not

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Speaker 3: go into detail of that bit because it's just gonna get.

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Speaker 2: Grosser and grossery. Yeah, I choose to leave it there.

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Speaker 3: But uh, yeah, she's she sucks, is a booty face, yeah,

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Speaker 3: which we all know is a bad person.

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Speaker 2: Agreed, absolutely, But that's the end of that's. No, it's

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Speaker 2: not I keep doing that theah story, folks. There's a

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Speaker 2: little bit more. She sucks. Your family or his family sucks.

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Speaker 2: And I think if they keep defaming you, I would

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Speaker 2: sue them because you have all the proof that he

335
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Speaker 2: married you and that your son is your guy's son. Yep, yeah,

336
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Speaker 2: sue if you have the money. But I know you're

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Speaker 2: having like monetary troubles, so it might help a little

338
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Speaker 2: context on the woman. She lives in a four bedroom

339
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Speaker 2: house in section eight, lives off disability after being mugged

340
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Speaker 2: fifteen plus years ago, sued Coca Cola for seventy five

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars for a can exploding in her car.

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Speaker 5: Wait, what that's wild?

343
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,160
Speaker 2: Is a hoarder. Two out of three of her children

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Speaker 2: don't have a dad in their lives, and stole the

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Speaker 2: majority of my husband's four to one k when he

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Speaker 2: was in his twenties. My husband has been gone for

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Speaker 2: almost six months and I'm still dealing with the lawyers,

348
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,720
Speaker 2: going back and forth because she won't give anything back.

349
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Speaker 2: My husband's best friend and his wife are my son's

350
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Speaker 2: godparents and have been an incredible support system to me.

351
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Speaker 2: We see each other almost daily, so I am so

352
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Speaker 2: grateful that we have them and my family to love

353
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Speaker 2: and see my son grow up. This is ridiculously long,

354
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,680
Speaker 2: and it is no not even over. Yes, I also

355
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,960
Speaker 2: probably left some other horrible things that his family have

356
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Speaker 2: said and done to me, and that is the end

357
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Speaker 2: of that story, but uh, Opie, you are one of

358
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Speaker 2: her own, and I'm so sorry that you have gone

359
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Speaker 2: through this, yes, just this loss, but then also having

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Speaker 2: to deal with, you know, these awful people when you

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Speaker 2: were grieving your husband's absolutely yeah, absolutely, yeah, best of

362
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Speaker 2: look to you.

363
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Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, obviously you've got a good

364
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Speaker 3: head on your shoulders. Yeah, that's other people in your

365
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,840
Speaker 3: life that are helpful, so hopefully you can lean on

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Speaker 3: them a bit.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, I'm sorry for this booty face girly that's

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Speaker 5: in your life.

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Speaker 2: She stinks.

370
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Speaker 5: She stinks like a booty thinks.

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Speaker 2: That is the end of the story. And we've got

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Speaker 2: another one.

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Speaker 7: My fiance's mother is making my wedding planning a nightmare.

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Speaker 2: Ah, nightmare, nightmare.

375
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Speaker 7: My mother in law Slee's cake is a seaword basket.

376
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Speaker 7: She and future father in law have always disliked me.

377
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Speaker 7: They are so clingy over their three adult boys that

378
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Speaker 7: they feel like any significant other is a massive threat

379
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Speaker 7: to their entire family. They tell dear fiance that I'm

380
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Speaker 7: controlling and poisoning him, making him.

381
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Speaker 4: A negative person.

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Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from user antelopess anonymous, and

383
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,840
Speaker 7: if you want to submit your own stories. Go to

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Speaker 7: the horse slash okay story. I'm sebreated and we are

385
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 7: here to give you good advice. Goofly, but we don't

386
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Speaker 7: have all answers if you only know what we would

387
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,360
Speaker 7: do in this situation. So if you would do something different,

388
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Speaker 7: lets us know. In some comments, my fiance has been

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Speaker 7: dealing with depression and anxiety. I've known for the whole

390
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Speaker 7: five years we've been together, but he's only recently decided

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Speaker 7: to start seeing a therapist, probably because until recently he

392
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Speaker 7: was doing an expert job at shoving his emotions away

393
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Speaker 7: as if they didn't.

394
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Speaker 4: Exist, which has always bothered me.

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Speaker 7: He's also realizing he's codependent and struggles with feeling like

396
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,680
Speaker 7: he has to please everyone rather than focus on himself,

397
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Speaker 7: ultimately doing this at the expense of his own happiness

398
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Speaker 7: and sanity. Of course, his mother and father are in

399
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Speaker 7: denial that their flawless child could be depressed.

400
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Speaker 4: They think his emotional issues are all a direct result

401
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 4: of me.

402
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Speaker 7: Ever since he started getting treatment, he's been annoying, fragile,

403
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 7: or vulnerable, and is almost trying to use his depression

404
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 7: as a card.

405
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Speaker 4: Sorry, I can't do the dishes, I'm too depressed. Sorry,

406
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,879
Speaker 4: I didn't mean to be a huge wiener.

407
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Speaker 7: I think it's just because of my depression, et cetera. I,

408
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,720
Speaker 7: on the other hand, have been dealing with borderline personality

409
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,040
Speaker 7: disorder slash bipolar slash depression slash anxiety since I was

410
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Speaker 7: like thirteen, and I've been seeking a therapist for a decade.

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Speaker 7: Pausing really quickly, it sounds like you've been addressing your

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00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 7: mental health for a decade versus your partner who's only

413
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,080
Speaker 7: been addressing it very recently.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so there is like a maybe it's been cutting

415
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Speaker 2: him a little bit back. I feel like when you

416
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,879
Speaker 2: were you begin your mental health journey of like, I

417
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 2: think the fact that he's like actively.

418
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Speaker 7: Trying to work on it and he's literally just saying

419
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Speaker 7: like sorry, I think that was my depression, not being

420
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,199
Speaker 7: like yeah, yeah, no, you're gonna have to deal with

421
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,480
Speaker 7: that because I have depression.

422
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Speaker 4: I think that's where to say.

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Speaker 2: If if he were to say like, I'm I'm just depressed,

424
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 2: that's why and make no efforts to change that, it's different.

425
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 2: But if he is actively.

426
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Speaker 4: Trying right, which he is, he's going to therapy.

427
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 7: Yeah, until recently, I felt like I had been making

428
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,560
Speaker 7: major progress in my own personal tr treatment for the

429
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,239
Speaker 7: first time in my entire life. Despite all of this,

430
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,120
Speaker 7: we've made appointments with a couple's therapists, we haven't got

431
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,199
Speaker 7: in yet, and our individual therapists don't think that our

432
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 7: relationship is unsalvageable or beyond repair. So this weekend, his

433
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,480
Speaker 7: mother and father came to visit, because they always insist

434
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 7: on visiting several times a year they live in another state.

435
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 7: At first, my spinalist fiance said it was because he

436
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 7: didn't know how to turn them down without causing a

437
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,399
Speaker 7: ton of drama. But now he's claiming that he actually

438
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,600
Speaker 7: wants to see them more often, and it's making me

439
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 7: worry that he's not ready to cut that umbilical cord

440
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,400
Speaker 7: and isn't actually as emotionally independent as I thought he was. Girl,

441
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,760
Speaker 7: I mean, hey, wait, can you repat that you're you're acting?

442
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,199
Speaker 7: Can you reat that wild? She's trying to say that

443
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Speaker 7: maintaining any level of connection with his parents.

444
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Speaker 4: It sounds like that's what I'm not cutting the umbilical cord.

445
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,479
Speaker 2: That's really unfair.

446
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 7: But what do you mean, Yeah, of course it's it's

447
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 7: completely that's not that's not right.

448
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,600
Speaker 2: Unless he is being enmeshed and not listening to your

449
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 2: you know, your concern and stuff like that, and just

450
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,480
Speaker 2: siding with his parents and stuff all the time. Then

451
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 2: this is just kind of I mean, like it's it's

452
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 2: pretty normal for people to want to have a relationship

453
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 2: with their family.

454
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,199
Speaker 7: It really sounds like no, no one person in this

455
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 7: story wants the relationship to be completely wrong. They got

456
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,520
Speaker 7: in on Friday and we went out to the most

457
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 7: uncomfortable dinner of my entire life. My fiance and I

458
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,679
Speaker 7: had prepared for this. My parents offered us ten thousand

459
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 7: dollars for our wedding and honeymoon to spend however the

460
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,119
Speaker 7: f we want. I'm turning twenty six in November and

461
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,959
Speaker 7: I'm currently on my parents' health insurance. I have a

462
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,440
Speaker 7: ton of costly health problems. My fiance has great health insurance.

463
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 7: I'm self employed. We decided to elope in BAMF in

464
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 7: November for the sake of health insurance, but wanted to

465
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 7: make it fun, hence BAMF instead of just going to

466
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 7: the courthouse.

467
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 8: Wait, what is bath have to do?

468
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, what is.

469
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 7: Eloping for the sake of health insurance have to do

470
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,120
Speaker 7: with anything? You mean, maybe eloping so that you can

471
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 7: get on your fiance's health insurance. I assume because it

472
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,680
Speaker 7: may be from a company, and once you're married, then

473
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 7: you can also have his health And I think.

474
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 2: Just saying like we got married for the health insurance,

475
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 2: but we eloped because it was easier, I think that's

476
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 2: like the general vine.

477
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,360
Speaker 4: Hey, don't get married for health insurance.

478
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,640
Speaker 8: A lot of people didn't you just say the other day,

479
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 8: get married for taxes.

480
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 2: I don't know.

481
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 4: I don't know that it's a benefit.

482
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 2: It's people will do that. I mean, obviously buy you

483
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 2: want to have like actual love.

484
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,160
Speaker 7: And also I'm goofy when I say get married for taxes,

485
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 7: I'm not being serious.

486
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 8: Get married for tax evasion?

487
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,879
Speaker 4: Cool, commit tax fraud. Anyway, we'd each bring a friend

488
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 4: as a witness.

489
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,360
Speaker 7: Then several months later we'd have a ceremony where we'd

490
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 7: invite the family and friends and repeat our vows. As

491
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 7: far as everyone else would be concerned, this would be

492
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 7: the real wedding. We wanted the elopement to be a secret.

493
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 4: Hey like secret winding.

494
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 7: We decided to tell our parents about the plan out

495
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,400
Speaker 7: of respect. My parents were cool with it. His flipped

496
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 7: their lids Obviously, Slee's cake was so which is what

497
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 7: op is calling her future mother in law cool. Slee's

498
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 7: cake was so offended that we were getting Elope that

499
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 7: she told everyone she knew and intentionally omitted the part

500
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,199
Speaker 7: about the follow up ceremony, even though she knew it

501
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 7: was supposed to be a secret. My fiance has a

502
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 7: massive extended family, and of course he wanted them all

503
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 7: to be at the reception. After doing a bunch of budgeting,

504
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 7: we decided we just couldn't do this all on a

505
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 7: ten thousand dollars budget. The new plan would be to

506
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 7: Elope in Bam in November. Each bring a friend and

507
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 7: invite the immediate families. Then we wouldn't have any follow

508
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 7: up ceremonies or anything. We would just leave it at that,

509
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 7: even though the thought of having his family there makes

510
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 7: me dread the ceremony so much that I'm not sure

511
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 7: I will even enjoy it. Have you like properly expressed

512
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 7: off these feelings to your partner, like that you despise

513
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 7: his family.

514
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 4: To this lessl Yeah? Does he know?

515
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,159
Speaker 2: Did we get any information that she's expressed that?

516
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,400
Speaker 7: We expected his parents to be angry with this plan?

517
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 7: But it's our wedding and they aren't helping pay, and

518
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 7: it's all we can afford.

519
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,160
Speaker 4: But we knew they'd be unhappy.

520
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 7: Fiance wanted a huge reception too, so we agreed that

521
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 7: if they insisted on a reception, we would say that

522
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 7: they'd be welcome to throw us one of them so

523
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 7: which seemed pretty reasonable. So at the dinner we told

524
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 7: them about the new plan, and as expected, they flipped

525
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 7: the f out Slee's cake said some revolting, gag worthy

526
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 7: crap like, see, I knew my baby would never betray me.

527
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 7: I knew he needed me to stand at the altar

528
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 7: with him. Is that typically how that goes down? What

529
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,399
Speaker 7: the parent do? The parents stand at the altar?

530
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 2: Not usually no, unless they're part of like the you

531
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: know best, the groomsmen or the bridesmaids.

532
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 4: Think again, your butt is staying in the seats.

533
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 7: I'd never forgive you if your best woman got to

534
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 7: see my baby boy get married and I didn't. But

535
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 7: it was future father in law who was extra disturbing.

536
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 7: He straight up told us that we did not have

537
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 7: permission to have this wedding as if we're children and

538
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 7: as if he is paying. Unless we had a follow

539
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 7: up ceremony for their a kajillion million cousins and friends

540
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,880
Speaker 7: and friends of aunts of middle school mailman to attend. Afterward,

541
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,199
Speaker 7: we had both agreed that my fiance would say that

542
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 7: they were welcome to throw such a reception for us,

543
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 7: because those two already hate me, and if I said

544
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 7: something like that, they're more likely to hear it as

545
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 7: an uncooperative retort. But my spineless fiance rolled over and

546
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 7: immediately said, yeah, you're totally right. We will redo the

547
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,479
Speaker 7: budget again to allow for that.

548
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 2: What that's frustrating for him to just be like, well,

549
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 2: we're to use money, we don't have to accommodate all

550
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 2: of these people that we don't really care about having

551
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 2: at the reception.

552
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 4: I just don't like any of this at all.

553
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's just not liking any of the vibes from

554
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 7: any side of anyone in this story.

555
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, like you spineless doesn't feel like a

556
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 2: great relationship, and I.

557
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 7: Can't imagine why their parents hate you so bad.

558
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 4: It seems like the feeling has been pretty mutual.

559
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, guys, this is this is a great example of

560
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 7: someone who needed to use the silly baby approach. Yeah, okay,

561
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:50,120
Speaker 7: when you really you can't just outwardly despise unless you've

562
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 7: been given the green light to do so. Yeah, you

563
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 7: can't just outwardly despise your partner's family and parents.

564
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 4: So you sometimes you gotta go, hey.

565
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 7: Look at this silly baby trying to tell me that

566
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 7: I need their permission to get married in a certain way.

567
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 4: Huh, what a silly little baby.

568
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

569
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 7: I then got a fifteen minute lecture about how marriage

570
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 7: is about families joining, and how it's so unbelievably disrespectful

571
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 7: that I haven't met his extended family yet, and.

572
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 4: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

573
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 7: In much more words, he basically said that this marriage

574
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 7: is about their family, not about the two of us.

575
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 7: I wanted to throw my drink in his stupid, ugly face.

576
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 7: I also was kind of confused as to why he

577
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 7: even wanted to introduce me to their family so badly

578
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 7: if he hated me so much. It was all very

579
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 7: bizarre and convoluted. That's when Slee's Cake chimed in to

580
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 7: ask the name of the hotel the wedding would be at.

581
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 7: I told her, and she looked it up on her

582
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 7: phone and said, oh my god, this is so pretty, husband,

583
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 7: we have to stay there. My fiance finally spoke up

584
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 7: and said, I don't know, mom, it's five hundred dollars

585
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 7: a night. We found several other really nice, close hotels

586
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 7: for our guests to stay at, but she insisted, saying

587
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 7: it was too nice not to stay there, and father

588
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 7: in law back to her up saying we're not about

589
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 7: to fly all the way to bamf and not have

590
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 7: a family vacation. We want to stay with you guys

591
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 7: and enjoy Canada together as a new family. Well, see,

592
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 7: now what you're describing is intruding on a honeymoon. Now, Kanya,

593
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 7: we're getting married and then we're gonna spend that time

594
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 7: to get there.

595
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, now your.

596
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 2: Husband needs to be like I think your husband needs

597
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 2: to say no, no, no. I'm not saying I don't

598
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 2: want you to come because it's too expensive. I'm saying,

599
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 2: don't come because we're having a honeymoon there and that's

600
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 2: our time. It's not a family vacation. I don't know.

601
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 2: There's just like, I don't know.

602
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 7: Starting to see why you were so upset at everyone

603
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 7: involved here.

604
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 4: Op.

605
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, but it sounds like nobody has really good communication

606
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 7: skills to properly navigate this.

607
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you're expressing this to your partner and

608
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 2: your partner's not standing up for you, then this is

609
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: not a marriage that it's going to last the way

610
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: that it is.

611
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 7: At this point, I was effing triggered, actively trying to

612
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 7: hold back tears.

613
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,879
Speaker 4: I said, well, we're staying at the hotel for the

614
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 4: rest of the week. Is our honeymoon? Slee's cake says,

615
00:25:58,680 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 4: that's wonderful. I am.

616
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 7: You're snowboarding, Well, we'll bring our skis and join you.

617
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 7: Uh no, No, what the f do they really not

618
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 7: know boundaries? My fiance tried to explain that there are

619
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,719
Speaker 7: three different resorts nearby, so they could go ski at

620
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 7: one of the other ones while we were snowboarding, and

621
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 7: his mom was like, but how often are we gonna

622
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 7: get the chance to ski and bamf with you guys?

623
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 4: If it's that important, we can.

624
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 2: Make a plan, right, Yeah, maybe we make a little

625
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 2: bit of a plan. This is ridiculous. Your husband just

626
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 2: like letting them walk all over you. Guys. Now, I

627
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 2: understand why you call them spineless, but I also think

628
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 2: that if you're calling your partner spineless, then it's not

629
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 2: a great relationship.

630
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 7: Future father in law then asked what else we were

631
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 7: planning on doing while we were there. I stepped on

632
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 7: my fiance's foot, so he noticed shut up because obviously

633
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 7: his question wasn't innocent in nature.

634
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 4: My fiance effing screamed out, what the f girl?

635
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, stop talking and what the why would you

636
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 2: do that? Because it needs you to stop talking.

637
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 7: At this point, his parents glared at me, and I

638
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,719
Speaker 7: excused myself to the bathroom to freak out in privacy.

639
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 7: As I was walking away, I heard him begin to

640
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,199
Speaker 7: tell his dad about the world renowned spa, and I

641
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,360
Speaker 7: heard his mom say she couldn't wait to use it.

642
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 2: Okay, and now I'm seeing the enmeasurement. It seems like

643
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 2: we got all of like like, oh, he just kind

644
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 2: of told us all this stuff, and we're like, we

645
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 2: didn't have any proof of it, and now we're getting

646
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 2: all the proof of it. Yikes. He's bringing his parents

647
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 2: on the honeymoon.

648
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 7: Apparently, when I was in the bathroom, his parents pressed

649
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 7: really hard to get fiance to give them my parents'

650
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 7: phone numbers so they could discuss finances and wedding plans and.

651
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: Get everything all arranged. For us.

652
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 7: No, what the f We're not children, this is not

653
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 7: their event. Thankfully my fiance refused, but it made his

654
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 7: parents live it. I told my parents about it afterwards,

655
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 7: and they said it was no big deal and to

656
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 7: give them their info and that they'd handle it. I

657
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 7: made my parents promise not to let his parents make

658
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 7: any decisions for us or anything, and they agreed, but

659
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 7: I'm still very nervous and uncomfortable about all of it.

660
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 7: My parents assured me it wasn't a weird request, which

661
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 7: also felt really weird. What is this eighteen fifty four?

662
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 7: We can plan our own wedding, Thank you very much.

663
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 7: When we got home from dinner, I called my parents sobbing.

664
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 7: I told him about the honeymoon thing, and they agreed

665
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 7: that was completely out of line. But then fiance came

666
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 7: in to say they absolutely did not invite themselves along

667
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 7: for the honeymoon.

668
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 4: You're exaggerating. You heard what you wanted to hear. Excuse me, so.

669
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 2: Where did you invite yourselves?

670
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 7: That launched into a huge, gigantic argument. He started crying

671
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 7: and laughing hysterically, which was actually really creepy, and he

672
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 7: said he felt like he was caught between feeling like

673
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 7: he wants a hug from his parents and a hug

674
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 7: from me, also very creepy, and I told him that

675
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 7: wasn't okay and I need to be first. I told

676
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 7: him I can't compete with his parents for his affection

677
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 7: and that I don't know if we're ready for marriage

678
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 7: if he is this emotionally dependent on them.

679
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 4: He just kept saying that.

680
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 7: He hates that he has to choose sides, and I said, yeah,

681
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 7: it sucks, but you're wasting energy wishing it was different.

682
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 4: It's not.

683
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 7: At the end of the day, you're going to have

684
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 7: to choose, and I don't want to marry someone who

685
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 7: can't put our relationship first. Said he loves me and

686
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 7: that he's on my side and that he chooses me

687
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 7: and that I'm first, but I just don't effing feel it.

688
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 7: He doesn't act that way, and I've told him that.

689
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 7: I tried to explain that it's okay for his parents

690
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 7: not to be perfect people and that doesn't mean he's

691
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 7: not allowed to love them, but he only got offended.

692
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 7: I said, I think he needs to limit some of

693
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 7: the interactions with them, and he lashed out.

694
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 4: He kept crying, and I said dude, it.

695
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 7: Should be evidence to you right here that you are

696
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 7: too terrified to cry like this in front of your parents,

697
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 7: but not in front of me. There's so much of

698
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 7: yourself that you have to hide from your parents. You

699
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 7: can't actually be your true self in front of them.

700
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 7: And that seemed to finally get through to him. He

701
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 7: said he wanted to change, but I don't know if

702
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 7: I believe that he wants it badly enough that'll actually

703
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 7: follow through.

704
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 8: I feel like, Op, he's kind of getting the ig.

705
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so.

706
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 4: She's like this guy, it's a little icky.

707
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to not we need to unmarry him.

708
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: The fact that OPI, I don't even have you married yet.

709
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: I don't think you've married him yet. No, I think

710
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 2: you need to not marry him.

711
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 8: Oh he hit him with the dude, this is like.

712
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 2: An a little snapshot into what the rest of your

713
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 2: life is.

714
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 4: Going to be.

715
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 2: If you were calling your future partner a spineless little

716
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 2: man and you hate his family and you think that

717
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 2: he never listens to you, don't marry that guy.

718
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:13,959
Speaker 8: Yeah. I feel like they should have been brought up

719
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 8: way before, way before we are even calling each other.

720
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 8: You know, fiances.

721
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,479
Speaker 7: Absolutely because we always reached this conclusion, and then the

722
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 7: moment he sees Mommy again, he goes back to square one.

723
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 7: The rest of the weekend was filled with way too

724
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 7: many of Slee's Cake's antics towards my fiance. Every time

725
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 7: I tried to very gently bring it up with him

726
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 7: in private, saying that those made me feel uncomfortable and

727
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 7: that I think he should try to cut the hugs short,

728
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 7: he would get quite defensive and say that I only

729
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 7: thought they were abnormal because my parents never hugged me

730
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 7: when I grew up, which is true, But I still

731
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 7: think he's wrong.

732
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 4: Wait, I do think it's crazy to criticize hugs.

733
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 2: Wait why is she? What does she say? What was

734
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: wrong with that?

735
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 4: I think? Okay, so this is what I'm gathering.

736
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 7: Okay, I think that there is a level of wrongness

737
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 7: on both sides of the story. I think that clearly,

738
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 7: given the previous sentence, Op is not used to and

739
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 7: kind of perturbed from a family dynamic that involves like

740
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 7: parents really liking their physical you know, it's not something

741
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 7: that they're used to. And Op is clearly in a

742
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 7: situation where his parents are so on top of his

743
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 7: business that whenever they're around, he loses all independence and

744
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 7: reverts back to this state where it's like, well, I'm

745
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 7: a child and I have to just submit to the

746
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 7: will of my parents because I cannot say no to

747
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 7: them without it becoming an argument or a fight that

748
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 7: I have to defend myself from. I think there's also

749
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 7: that element of, like, yeah, well, if I do get

750
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 7: married to you and you clearly hate my parents, like

751
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 7: that is going to limit the amount of time I

752
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 7: spend with them. I do care about them, and they

753
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,120
Speaker 7: are getting older and we only have so much time

754
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 7: with the people in our lives. And he's probably going

755
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 7: through a whole cocktail of thoughts like that, But it's

756
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 7: really only being boiled down to you're a spineless wimp

757
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 7: by op his fiance, And I just think there's a

758
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 7: level of just like.

759
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 2: I think, you guys just aren't a match. I think

760
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, he's got his own

761
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 2: issues to deal with. You got your own issues to

762
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: deal with. Neither of you are willing to compromise. Consider this, considering.

763
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 7: What if they are, you know, And I'm not saying

764
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 7: that this is good or bad. I'm just saying, what if, like,

765
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 7: would it still be equally weird if they're at this

766
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 7: hotel and they're experiencing this stuff, but the only time

767
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 7: they ever cross paths is like snowboard a we're skiing

768
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 7: because it's bam, that's like where you go, that's that's

769
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 7: the destination.

770
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: It seems like they want to ski with them. That

771
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 2: was like what they said.

772
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 4: But I mean, like the spa, the hotel, the pool.

773
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 7: It's like if the only place where their paths are

774
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 7: crossing is outside, like skiing at the resort, is that

775
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 7: still that big of a deal.

776
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 2: I think I think so.

777
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 8: I think so because OPI wanted then it's a honeymoon.

778
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 8: You're supposed to spend this with your I think I.

779
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 2: Was on a honeymoon. I really would not want my

780
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 2: and I love my parents. I have a great relationship

781
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 2: with my parents. Don't think I would want the mount

782
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: my honeymoon.

783
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 8: No, Yeah, that honeymoon is going to be really you

784
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 8: and your honeymoon.

785
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 2: In the same place. And they've also said we want

786
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 2: to ski together.

787
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 8: They wanted to do the spa, they want to do

788
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 8: I don't know.

789
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 7: I guess it's I've snow worried a lot. I don't

790
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 7: feel like it would be that much of a difference.

791
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 7: It's not putting routes with just my partner versus my partner.

792
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 8: And the context of the honeymoon. If it was like, oh,

793
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 8: let's go on a trip to bamp Fine, but this

794
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 8: is a honeymoon between O P.

795
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

796
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 7: And I mean to be clear, I don't think that

797
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 7: these parents would keep it at just the slopes.

798
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 4: But I was just putting it out there. Is that

799
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 4: Does that make a difference.

800
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 8: No, Yeah, it's intrusive. Cowbodys God says it's intrusive. I

801
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 8: agree with that. I think I agree what Sophia said.

802
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 8: You guys are not ready. You guys are not at

803
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 8: a level to figure this out. You got your stuff

804
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 8: to work through. He's got his stuff to really work through,

805
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 8: and you can't do that together. No, agreed, unless if

806
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 8: you guys like take it, take a couple steps back,

807
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 8: slow it down.

808
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 4: Agreed.

809
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 8: But he's got to really dial it up and figure

810
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 8: out what he needs to do with his family before

811
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 8: he gets into a relationship with you. He can't do

812
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 8: both at the same time. Obviously, looser, it's not worth it.

813
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 7: It was also filled with Slee's cake and future father

814
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 7: in law getting angry when I would have to slip

815
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 7: away for a few hours for work because, omge, how rude.

816
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 4: She's self employed. Why can't she schedule the whole weekend

817
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 4: offer us. She's doing this on purpose, the parents spending

818
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 4: literally fifteen hours of each day with us, my fiance

819
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 4: getting ultra defensive anytime I had anything less than gushingly

820
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 4: complimentary things to say about him or his family, and

821
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 4: his parents trying to push us to go to California

822
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 4: with them in two weeks, even though we've told them

823
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 4: fifteen times that we can't.

824
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 7: And we do have a little bit more story left. Yeah,

825
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 7: I think that you definitely might want to put things

826
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 7: on hold for now until you can work through both

827
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,479
Speaker 7: your relationship and here here and work through his own

828
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 7: relationship with his parents, agreed. I thought Beyonce and I

829
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 7: were making progress. I thought he would making progress on

830
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 7: his own with his parents too. I thought he was

831
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 7: getting better at standing up to them. But all of

832
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 7: a sudden, he's regressed. Now he's saying that one visit

833
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,359
Speaker 7: a year with family isn't going to cut it for him.

834
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 7: He did apologize for trying to force a relationship with

835
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 7: his family on his terms, on me, but I don't

836
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 7: know if it was sincere or if it means he'll

837
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 7: stop and right now, I don't know if the proposal

838
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 7: even came from a genuine place. I don't know if

839
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 7: he proposed because he honestly loves me and chose me,

840
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 7: or because he loves me and thinks that's just what

841
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 7: you're supposed to do.

842
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 4: I don't know if I feel like we're ready for

843
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 4: marriage anymore. I don't even know how to feel about us.

844
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 7: I feel like I'm not in the driver's seat of

845
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,280
Speaker 7: my own life anymore, and I feel like I'm engaged

846
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 7: to his parents, not to him. I feel like my

847
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 7: fiance has been hijacked by a child this last year,

848
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 7: and like our relationship is all of a sudden foreign

849
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:46,879
Speaker 7: to me. And I don't know how to fix any

850
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 7: of this, or if it even can be fixed, and

851
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:50,280
Speaker 7: I'm really scared.

852
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story.

853
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 2: I think that you guys need to postpone the.

854
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 8: Wedding, postpone your relationship.

855
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 2: I yeah, I think, honestly like taking Honestly, I don't

856
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 2: always understand that you like the point of breaks in

857
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: a relationship, but on this point, I think that it would.

858
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 2: I think that would be good. Doesn't mean like necessarily

859
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,760
Speaker 2: have to break up forever, but I think taking a break,

860
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,439
Speaker 2: figuring your stuff out, figuring out if you still want

861
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 2: to be in this relationship would help.

862
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 7: I think the real problem here is that your snowboarders

863
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 7: and his parents are skiers.

864
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 2: And at the end of the day, that's the real problem.

865
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 4: I think guys are his parents where snowboarders, they be

866
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: each other.

867
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 2: The monogues and the calpulates of the sky slopes the.

868
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,320
Speaker 4: Montacuse, I heard monkeys, you said montarchies.

869
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: I heard not what I said at all. I said

870
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 2: the monogues in the.

871
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 4: Cap we both heard something else.

872
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 2: Don't know how you heard that. There's a recording of it.

873
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 4: Woa the monogues. Let us know what she said the

874
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 4: first time. Chat.

875
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 1: Hey Sam, We're gonna get back to the stories.

876
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 4: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

877
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 2: My mother in law demanded an apology after family therapy exploded.

878
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: That sounds dangerous and trigger warning frementions of emotional abuse.

879
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 2: After almost a decade of toxic behavior, I think I

880
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 2: have finally gotten to a point of full acceptance for

881
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 2: myself in a good way. Do not recommend this because

882
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 2: it isn't for the faint heart, but I agreed to

883
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 2: join one session of family therapy with my husband, his

884
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 2: three younger sisters adults, and their mother. By the way,

885
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 2: this comes from the Effort twenty seven And if you

886
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 2: want to spit your own stories, go to the r

887
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,399
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subpared it and we're here to give

888
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,799
Speaker 2: good advice. Goofly, but we don't have all the answers.

889
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

890
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments and Opie says

891
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 2: most get together as became volatile, which has been normalized

892
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 2: in this family. Things had been fine, quiet enough until

893
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 2: after what everyone thought was a beautiful Christmas together. We

894
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 2: drove fourteen hours with two babies and it was a

895
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 2: new experience all around. Upon arrival, I now realized that

896
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 2: happiness and happy families specifically are these people's triggers. A

897
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: few months later, mother in law initiated a strange conversation

898
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 2: with me that eventually turned into a disagreement I had

899
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: extensively but not even fully explained to where my feelings

900
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 2: due to her actions over the years. I was met

901
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,280
Speaker 2: with a classic backhanded apology and then the silent treatment.

902
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 2: After years of this similar type of toxic abuse, couples counseling,

903
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 2: individual counseling on both me and my husband's part postpartum therapy,

904
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 2: including EMDR for my childhood traumas and two babies both

905
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: under three years old. I have decided that mine and

906
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,399
Speaker 2: my children's safety was at risk. She says, I'm too

907
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 2: difficult to talk to. So my mother in law wanted

908
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 2: her and me to do therapy. I agreed, under the

909
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,720
Speaker 2: stipulation that she does some individual sessions until they felt

910
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 2: it was a good idea for me to join. She agreed,

911
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 2: but I never heard from her again. You never heard

912
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 2: from her again. She disappeared, She was gone.

913
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 4: She agreed.

914
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 2: Stop for everyone heard that stop farting, just like a

915
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 2: fot in the wind. Until months later, her oldest daughter

916
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 2: texted me, adding me to a grip chat saying she

917
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 2: was glad everyone was on board with family therapy. I

918
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: responded in the group that I had not agreed to this,

919
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 2: and that if any of the three sisters I hadn't

920
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 2: heard from in six months had a reason for me

921
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 2: to be included, they could discuss this in a private

922
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 2: message with me and I left the chat. The oldest

923
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 2: message to me, dancing around the subject while not trying

924
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 2: to divulge.

925
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 5: Her true sinister intentions.

926
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,439
Speaker 2: A flying monkey sent to defend her mother's honor. This

927
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 2: was a gang up. She denied it and became very

928
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 2: angry that she wasn't getting her way. She lost it

929
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 2: completely and dropped the whole idea until I mentioned that

930
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 2: it would appear to be a gang up on me

931
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 2: if she didn't follow through in family therapy with her

932
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: own family. It was stated by my husband that there

933
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 2: had been major issues long before we met, and he

934
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 2: wanted everyone to be a loving and supportive family unit

935
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 2: because he loves them and wants them involved with his children.

936
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 7: I saw a comment earlier, I think it was from Gala.

937
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 7: It was like, I would rather eat broken glass than

938
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 7: go to family therapy with my now ex mother in law.

939
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 4: I mean, it is can be intense, for sure.

940
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 2: I mean, like I under, I totally think the validity

941
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,919
Speaker 2: of late family therapy with your immediate family is good. Yeah,

942
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:11,760
Speaker 2: but to put their issues on you is quite strange.

943
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 4: There right there.

944
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 2: They did two sessions and he confirmed it was a

945
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 2: gang up, and he couldn't even answer the doctor's questions

946
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: because of constant interruptions. He wanted me to join just

947
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 2: one session, and I agreed to fully support him. But

948
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 2: this was my last hurrah, so to speak. When my

949
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 2: husband brought up volatile behavior and animosity between them all

950
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 2: and the issues surrounding their late father, whom he was

951
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 2: the only one speaking to due to a nasty divorce,

952
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 2: they just kept bringing me up instead. They said I

953
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 2: need to be there because I was family. I never

954
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 2: met the dad, but I hear about him constantly. A

955
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 2: friend kindly let us use her bedroom for the Zoom

956
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:49,840
Speaker 2: meeting while our kids had a playdate, which none of

957
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 2: his family considered could be an issue for us. The

958
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 2: session was everything I expected and more. The therapist asked

959
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 2: me what I think is the issue? So I began

960
00:40:58,040 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 2: to explain an overall g just of the tone and

961
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 2: the family and how it affected me. Since there were

962
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 2: multiple members, it was very difficult for me to keep

963
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 2: the discussion from derailing. I pointed that out, which led

964
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 2: to more deflecting and flaim shifting. The biggest outrage came

965
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 2: when I shared my feelings and perspectives. It became apparent

966
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 2: that I am not allowed to have those? Any answer

967
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 2: was met with aggression and correction, yes, correction of my perspectives.

968
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 2: On one hand, there was an outrage that my husband

969
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 2: would dare share or discuss anything said about me behind

970
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 2: my back. On the other hand, it's completely okay for

971
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 2: everyone else to discuss matters with their friends or significant

972
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 2: others because there's different double standard. Any truth I spoke

973
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 2: about atrocities I endured only ones I shared with witnesses

974
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 2: or proof was met with aggressive vitriol and offensive laughter.

975
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,919
Speaker 2: I began to realize they were really losing it. Why

976
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 2: did they even invite you just to dunk on you?

977
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 7: Did they just come here because they were like, this

978
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 7: isn't going well.

979
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 4: Let's all unify against OP.

980
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 2: You're the common enemy. They needed to unite as a family.

981
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 7: Then afterwards over they're like, ah, wow, I feel light

982
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 7: as a feather.

983
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 2: I feel bonded. Do you all equally?

984
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 4: We're so good. I love my I love you guys.

985
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 4: I love family.

986
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 2: The youngest sister was the voice of reason. She was

987
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 2: clearly mistreated. The middle one was grubbing a giant.

988
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 4: Sandwich, rubbing a giant sandwich.

989
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 2: Hight wait, she was grubbing a giant sandwich during the

990
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 2: therapy appointment.

991
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,359
Speaker 4: Sometimes you just need a good sandwich, and wanted.

992
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 2: To discuss herself how busy she was being a bartender

993
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 2: and planning a wedding for next year, but has been

994
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 2: engaged for two years, so me asking for help was

995
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 2: an inconvenient time. She lives five minutes away. She decided

996
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 2: yesterday that she's stepping back and Mike decide to contact

997
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: me in the next few years, to which I asked how

998
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 2: that was any different from the present course she's taking.

999
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 2: The oldest daughter, who lives overseas, had nothing important to

1000
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 2: say because she had zero involvement in anything discussed, except

1001
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 2: she had the most to say while also being the

1002
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 2: most aggressive. I needed to apologize to the mother for

1003
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 2: what I said to her, because she's an elder who

1004
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 2: should only be given respect. I asked if there was

1005
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 2: any interest in knowing what may have led to this text.

1006
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 2: She interrupted, She yelled, she laughed, and was more than

1007
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,439
Speaker 2: usual alarmingly aggressive, all while in a cloud of her

1008
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 2: spliff she was puffing on. Is this during the appointment?

1009
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, we've got someone grubbing on a sandwich. Someone's

1010
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 2: smoking a spliff all while we're trying to have a

1011
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 2: family therapy appointment. Who are these people?

1012
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 8: It's called therapy, and I guess the sandwich is therapeutic.

1013
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 8: The spliff was definitely therapeutic.

1014
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 7: I'm imagining this just like happened like at home, like

1015
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 7: in the living room, and the person you were told

1016
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 7: was a therapist is just like an uncle like.

1017
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 2: This just a therapist. This is my cousin, My cousin Vinny.

1018
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 4: My cousin Mady.

1019
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, hey, mighty, check out his broad Didn't she suck you?

1020
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:53,879
Speaker 3: Wait?

1021
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 7: Listen to would talk about her problems like they matter.

1022
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,800
Speaker 2: He went, he went through his school in Connecticut, school

1023
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 2: hard knocks. Shame you thought he went to Harvard. No,

1024
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 2: he's had a.

1025
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 4: Hard time of it Harvard.

1026
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 2: I barely know her anyway, A full on tantrum with

1027
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 2: the works, huffing, pouting, saying she was done, but kept interrupting.

1028
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 2: She said, I'm done, and one more thing than the mother,

1029
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 2: the biggest victim of all. She demanded an apology, which

1030
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 2: I refused. I asked her to read aloud the text

1031
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 2: I sent or clarify what was offensive. She finally disclosed

1032
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 2: that I called her wasted. I didn't say that to her,

1033
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 2: but she is I worked in bars for twenty years,

1034
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,919
Speaker 2: and everyone she knows, including her children, love a few

1035
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 2: drinks at all times. My husband no longer drinks, but

1036
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 2: she always tries to make him. I felt she was

1037
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 2: unfit to watch our children, which only came up because

1038
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 2: she couldn't understand why we wouldn't send our children states

1039
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 2: away for a week with her alone. I began to

1040
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 2: explain what my husband has also explained to her multiple times,

1041
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 2: that she has crossed every boundary with me, like it's

1042
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 2: sums sort of childish game. I only realized how bad

1043
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 2: it was when she started doing it to my children,

1044
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 2: like giving screen time when we explicitly said not to,

1045
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 2: refusing to know about bedtime routines, and not understanding basic

1046
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 2: words my son says because she hasn't spent much time

1047
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 2: with him. She refused to help him go potty, even

1048
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 2: though he's potty trained, very early potty, and she complained

1049
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 2: about the kids' schedule, like I wouldn't take them out

1050
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 2: to a restaurant for a seven pm reservation for no

1051
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 2: specific occasion. Then I mentioned the only two times she

1052
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 2: watched my baby girl, she ended her back saying she

1053
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 2: had a bad temper six months old. She said, the

1054
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 2: six month old baby had a bad temper.

1055
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,839
Speaker 4: It is baby's got a real head.

1056
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 2: Body keeps crying.

1057
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm gonna hand her off to my cousin Vinnie.

1058
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,399
Speaker 9: He's gonna teach her about the school hard knocks. He's

1059
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 9: gonna take it down in the construction yard. Teach you

1060
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 9: what in real hod day's work is like. So this

1061
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 9: baby'll stop complaining so much. This baby needs to under

1062
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 9: stand out. We usually they got it.

1063
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 7: Why don't you try having this kind of attitude down

1064
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 7: at the docks where I work.

1065
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,760
Speaker 2: But upon changing her diaper, her girl parts were alarmingly red.

1066
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 2: It had never happened before, to which my husband asked,

1067
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 2: if she used like saw wipes. What there's a possibility

1068
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 2: that this lady used lysol wipes instead of baby wipes

1069
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:20,720
Speaker 2: on your daughter.

1070
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 4: Hey, what's the difference?

1071
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,280
Speaker 2: He saw wet wipes?

1072
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 7: Hey, wait, time I saw the word wipe, I got

1073
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 7: the job done.

1074
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 2: We also later found out they tried to let her

1075
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,399
Speaker 2: cry it out, but it didn't work. When we left

1076
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 2: for forty five minutes, literally, never like these people around

1077
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 2: your baby again.

1078
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,239
Speaker 7: It's not like a toddler having a tantrum in the

1079
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 7: terrible twos.

1080
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 4: This is an infant.

1081
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 2: There is a little bit left to the story, but

1082
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 2: I would literally never let my child around these people.

1083
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,399
Speaker 4: Again, how did your husband make it?

1084
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 7: How'd your husband make it our childhood with these people

1085
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:57,760
Speaker 7: being his parents?

1086
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 2: Crazy say crazy?

1087
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 4: Well, I just wanted to be clean.

1088
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 7: That's why I also dunked her in a tub full

1089
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 7: of bleach, because I heard that's really good. Addition infected.

1090
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 2: But these people are either like idiots or willfully just

1091
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 2: don't care. Crazy And this is all coming out in therapy.

1092
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 2: This is a crazy therapy session. The mom blew her top,

1093
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 2: raged up close in her computer camera, denied everything, Uh,

1094
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 2: it's video, that it's zoom therapy. I forgot. That was

1095
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 2: the yeah, I forgot. They said that, yeah, okay, this

1096
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 2: makes sense. But thankfully my husband vouched for me and

1097
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 2: bared witness to these facts. I laughed, probably out of shock.

1098
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 2: She and her daughter lost it even more while shouting

1099
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 2: you maybey, do that does as much I wanted? And

1100
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 2: then the session was abruptly over due to the psychiatrist

1101
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 2: time constraints. Psychiatrist said, and that's so much time.

1102
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,800
Speaker 4: I gotta go by guys had his finger just hovering

1103
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 4: over the button to end that.

1104
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 7: Okay, oh my god Jesus, and then immediately went to

1105
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 7: his own therapy.

1106
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said, you will not believe the day I had.

1107
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:08,760
Speaker 4: I literally can't stand these people.

1108
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 2: The mother sent another group message stating we should all

1109
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 2: do what her daughter says, which was stepping away for

1110
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 2: a long while. I immediately left that chat as well.

1111
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:19,799
Speaker 2: There is endless, overtly textbook toxic behavior. So what do

1112
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 2: you think will happen next? I don't know.

1113
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 8: I don't want to know.

1114
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 2: I would cut these people watch child again ever ever,

1115
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:30,720
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story.

1116
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,439
Speaker 7: He gets older, they're like, yeah, I know, the kid

1117
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 7: was hungry. We just started feeding him those little packets

1118
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 7: that come in the in the in the beef jerky packages.

1119
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 2: We started feeding them the little jello packets, what are

1120
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,879
Speaker 2: they called, tide type pot tied you.

1121
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 4: Know, they look so good, and a lot of them.

1122
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 7: We figured that they really tell you not to eat

1123
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 7: the silica gel packets because they don't want you to

1124
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 7: find out how good they taste.

1125
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:57,880
Speaker 2: So yummy.

1126
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,439
Speaker 7: So we've been feeding out of the kids and then

1127
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 7: you know whatever, he's been real quiet all day.

1128
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. And we've got

1129
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 2: some comments.

1130
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 4: Hey John Ogi, hoist here.

1131
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:09,439
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

1132
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the

1133
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: show alive.

1134
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 8: Yes we do, so we have comments from the video.

1135
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 8: My family hates me because of my sister in law

1136
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 8: and this was posted November seventh, twenty twenty five. This

1137
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 8: is going to be from the first story. And here's

1138
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 8: a quick till d are of that story. So Op

1139
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,840
Speaker 8: twenty four Mail defended his sister in law after his

1140
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 8: overbearing sister his sister insulted her for having an emergency

1141
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 8: C section. Instead of backing him, his brother and parents

1142
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 8: blamed op accusing him of flirting with the sister in

1143
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 8: law and trying to steal her despite him being openly gay.

1144
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 8: Now Opie's family thinks he's manipulative, and he's left questioning

1145
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 8: if his mom can ever see the truth about his

1146
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 8: brother and family drama. I remember this one, okay, so

1147
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 8: you give a little bit more context. If you're curious

1148
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 8: to know the full story, you can go watch the

1149
00:49:58,680 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 8: full video.

1150
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 2: I think go. He was just like critiquing or trying

1151
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 2: to help out the wife because she was kind of

1152
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 2: not being treated well. And then everyone was like, you're

1153
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,720
Speaker 2: just doing that because you're trying to steal. You're trying

1154
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 2: to steal your brother's wife.

1155
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 7: I do remember this allowed to be nice to women

1156
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 7: unless you want to make them your wife.

1157
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 2: They were already super homophobic, so it.

1158
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,240
Speaker 8: Just it was just like, oh, two birds, I do remember,

1159
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 8: this was like a two birds one stone. They just

1160
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 8: wanted an excuse.

1161
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 7: Once you have a life pot nah, you're not allowed

1162
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 7: to be nice to anyone else, otherwise you want to

1163
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 7: steal them and make them your wife.

1164
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 8: But we do have some comments here, comment number one

1165
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 8: by Eminem forty two. It's Eminem as a mom who

1166
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 8: didn't have a sea section but did get the epidural.

1167
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 8: I praise sea section moms. It is not the easy

1168
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,280
Speaker 8: way out. They cut you all the way, even pulling

1169
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 8: apart the muscle while you're awake. Typically they even will

1170
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,320
Speaker 8: sometimes have to lift your intestines out of the way.

1171
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 8: The recovery is so much harder and usually much longer.

1172
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 8: See sex are not easy. They are terrifying and intense.

1173
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 8: I know many who had to do the emergency ones

1174
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 8: even my recovery time was intense long and I didn't

1175
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 8: have one. Also, was only given high dose yberprofen for

1176
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 8: after care recovery after tearing and stitches. All birth is

1177
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 8: hard and painful, but it makes me so mad when

1178
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 8: people say sea sections are the easy way out.

1179
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 2: Yeah till all.

1180
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 8: Sea section moms out there. You rock and are truly awesome,

1181
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,959
Speaker 8: and some of the strongest women are out there.

1182
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 4: Crazy.

1183
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 2: They made a comment about her easy way, you know,

1184
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 2: having an easier time with the pregnancy, because yeah.

1185
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 8: I do remember all of us reacting like you're like, uh.

1186
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 4: Women tearing women down at it's finest.

1187
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, you had to literally slice your

1188
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 7: actual abdomen open.

1189
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 4: Easy way out, faker, you had a shorter pre you've

1190
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 4: never even given birth before. Then you just want the attention.

1191
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 8: You're just doing it for the attention. We have a

1192
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,320
Speaker 8: couple more comments here Ashley pattern or Sorry Ashley Patten

1193
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,479
Speaker 8: twenty three four. They say this makes me so mad.

1194
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 8: I had five sea sections. I've not been able to

1195
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 8: move for days after each one without immense pain. I

1196
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 8: ended up in the hospital floor crying for ten minutes

1197
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 8: once because I had to get up because my baby

1198
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 8: was crying. I fell due to the pain and I

1199
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 8: just lay there until someone came. My husband had gone

1200
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 8: home to take care of our other kids, so I

1201
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 8: was on my own. For some reason, most hospitals have

1202
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,360
Speaker 8: eradicated nurseries. I guess they don't think women need to recover.

1203
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,760
Speaker 8: But my guess it's to save money, but still charge

1204
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 8: you in a nursery charge on top of it. I

1205
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:30,799
Speaker 8: am deformed from all the surgeries. I wish I had

1206
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 8: done it the natural way. My sister in law was

1207
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,319
Speaker 8: walking around the same day and I have never been

1208
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 8: able to do that. I was jealous because I wish

1209
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 8: that was my experience. I mean, to all the mothers

1210
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 8: out there.

1211
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,239
Speaker 7: My mom had to do a sea section because I

1212
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 7: was an enormous freak baby.

1213
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, I was a sea section.

1214
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 2: Dang.

1215
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 8: I was born a month early?

1216
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 2: Whoa, I was only born a couple of days early.

1217
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be born on fourth of July.

1218
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 8: Me too, but I was a month early. Remember this?

1219
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:55,399
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1220
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 8: You were you were? Yeah, isn't that crazy?

1221
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 4: You were probably a month early because your ghost.

1222
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 2: Made you ca He said, get out of there, get out.

1223
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 4: Your ghost got in.

1224
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 7: Then was like, ah, we're ready to go, let's go,

1225
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 7: ready to go right now.

1226
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 8: But we have one last comment here from bomb dot

1227
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 8: com twenty one sixty eight. That first story is absolutely insane.

1228
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 8: These people are absolutely disturbingly harmful to Op and his

1229
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 8: sister in law. The fact that they blamed her for

1230
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 8: the loss of the first child is despicable. I hope

1231
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:25,320
Speaker 8: she runs far from them and can find peace in

1232
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 8: a healthier family. As for Op, I hope he and

1233
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,319
Speaker 8: his boyfriend are well and don't have to put up

1234
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 8: with so much family drama anymore. And there is a

1235
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 8: small edit another comment, how many of my comments have

1236
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 8: they read? Apparently we're reading another one, So thank you

1237
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,720
Speaker 8: for that bomb dot com.

1238
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 2: Nice, we'll read nice a comment, So I don't think

1239
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 2: you don't need to keep commenting, and you just might

1240
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 2: get your comment read as well. Pregnancy is just hard

1241
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 2: for everyone.

1242
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:55,359
Speaker 7: So yeah, well, thank god men can't do it, because

1243
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 7: if we could, we'd make it look easy. A that's

1244
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,359
Speaker 7: that's not a clear joke. You need to get off

1245
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:07,879
Speaker 7: the internet. Go back to joke school. Joke where we've

1246
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:08,319
Speaker 7: all been.

1247
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I went to joke school.

1248
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 8: I went to joke school. They all knew you from

1249
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 8: and they all knew you there.

1250
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 7: I went to Joke School. They said, where's the principal.

1251
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 7: She's missing. We've been looking for her for years.

1252
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 4: We want her back at the school.

1253
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 2: Those are the end of the comments and the end

1254
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 2: of this episode. So if you love us, make sure

1255
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:31,919
Speaker 2: to subscribe.

1256
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 4: We love you and see it a