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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My fiance is drowning in child support payments. I'm thinking

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Speaker 2: our wedding.

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Speaker 3: I think you should think about a boat.

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Speaker 2: So first thing I want to say is I love

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Speaker 2: my fiance. He's a great guy, a wicked, smart, kind, sunny, wicked,

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Speaker 2: whip smart. Oh what does that mean? Who knows what

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Speaker 2: that happens? Like whip smart that no one says like

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Speaker 2: whip smart, kind, funny, And a year and a half ago,

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Speaker 2: I would have never have imagined I'd be at this point.

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Speaker 2: We've been dating for five years, ever since we met.

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Speaker 2: He works at a call center and I'm a postal worker.

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Speaker 2: We make a moderate income and the wedding is tentatively

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Speaker 2: in April. Small courthouse wedding with a tasteful reception afterwards.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from boyfriend drowning in CP

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Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to our slash Okay story Time. So I apologize in

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Speaker 2: advance for the legal gobblin goop. He hasn't really kept

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Speaker 2: me in the loop. And I'm a mail carrier, not

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Speaker 2: a lawyer. I don't have a head for this. So

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Speaker 2: one gear into our relationship, he got a notice for

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Speaker 2: paternity from the state he used to live in for

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Speaker 2: a three year old boy. Whoa you just get a

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Speaker 2: letter in the mail when.

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Speaker 3: You have a boy, you have a boy years later?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy, that's like, yeah, but with a whole

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Speaker 2: whole child that has a personality. That kid served with

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Speaker 2: the key.

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Speaker 3: You know what you do? You wait like seven more years,

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Speaker 3: You send your child to live behind like an orchestra house,

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Speaker 3: and then you casually like happened to run into him

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Speaker 3: on the street while he's playing the.

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Speaker 2: Guitar fingerstyle, fingerstyle.

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Speaker 3: Style and you're like, never give up in your dreams,

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Speaker 3: and I think you And then you.

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Speaker 2: Take him in into isn't a different church? Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: then you teach him how to bust So what's your name.

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Speaker 3: Little boy? And he goes August Rush.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's what you do. So yeah, turn turn those

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Speaker 2: those those lemons into lemonade, I guess. Yeah, put that

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Speaker 2: child to.

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Speaker 3: Random children that show up on your door in three

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Speaker 3: years into prodigies.

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Speaker 2: So clearly this happened way before I met him. He

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Speaker 2: thought it was ridiculous, but took the ordered DNA test

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Speaker 2: and turns out he is the father.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you don't just get mail in the you know,

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Speaker 3: three years later if they're not pretty sure.

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Speaker 2: I mean, how do you test that though? With the

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Speaker 2: paternity test? But does he have to take it? I

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Speaker 2: guess it's court ordered. It seems it's turns out he

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Speaker 2: is the father. Insert Marie audience cat calling here. What

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Speaker 2: you know, like the mari thing? What it's like the

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Speaker 2: the are you the father? Are you the dad? Whatever?

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Speaker 2: That show is paternity court something? You are not the father? Yeah? Okay?

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Speaker 3: Who?

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Speaker 2: The mother was apparently mentally unwell, and it turned out

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Speaker 2: the boy was in the custody of the grandparents. They

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Speaker 2: offered to adopt the boy if my fiance gave up

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Speaker 2: all his paternal rights, and he jumped at the offer.

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Speaker 2: So he's like, take this kid, take.

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Speaker 3: This three year old. I'll find him in seven years.

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Speaker 2: They pulled some strings. I've heard it's supposed to be hard,

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Speaker 2: but we literally flew down to his old state on

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Speaker 2: the date they told him to sign some papers in

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Speaker 2: front of a judge and that was that clend of

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Speaker 2: that three year old gid.

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Speaker 3: That's kind of wild, Like, imagine being that relationship, Like, imagine.

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Speaker 2: Being what do you think would you like, like, let's

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Speaker 2: say you were dating someone and like, you know, like

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Speaker 2: even if it was like a like a couple months

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Speaker 2: the relationship. Yeah, and they get served with a child

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Speaker 2: and they sign away their kid? Does that make them

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Speaker 2: think of you? Like? Does that make you think of

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Speaker 2: them any differently?

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Speaker 3: Probably? I mean we heard that he jumped at the chance.

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Speaker 3: Think I jumped at the chance to just sign away

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Speaker 3: the rights for their child. And also the fact that

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Speaker 3: they find out three years I'll be.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I mean I think I would be.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I would necessarily. I'm not saying that

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Speaker 3: it's not necessarily the right decision for him to give

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Speaker 3: up those rights, because probably the grandparents can provide him

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Speaker 3: red life or the child a better life. But like,

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Speaker 3: but the jump, jumping.

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Speaker 2: The jump, you know, yeah, I at least want a

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Speaker 2: little bit of internal conflict.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe like a like a running start into a

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Speaker 3: die or like a fast walk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, a fast walk to it. But a jump

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Speaker 2: is a little bit much. Maybe even a skip. Well,

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Speaker 2: I personally an ambivalent about the whole thing. It seemed

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Speaker 2: like he just gave up all the rights to his

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Speaker 2: son without a care. But in the end, it's his business,

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Speaker 2: not mine. I told myself I would be a supportive

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Speaker 2: stepmother if the boy ever came to him for help

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Speaker 2: slash answers. When he was older, there was some messy

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Speaker 2: legal business about arears child support because the mother apparently

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Speaker 2: was on welfare for years and the state wants repay

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Speaker 2: from the fiance. Wait, but a lot of child support

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Speaker 2: because she was on welfare from the state, So he

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Speaker 2: owes child support back payments.

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Speaker 3: I guess, But I'm wondering because a lot of people

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Speaker 3: are saying in the chat that if he gave up

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Speaker 3: parental rights, then he doesn't owe.

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Speaker 2: Out support support. But maybe I guess, yeah, Like maybe

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Speaker 2: it's like it's a three years that the state was paying,

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Speaker 2: so he only gave up parental rights three years later,

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Speaker 2: and now the grandparents are taking control of that.

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Speaker 3: But how is that? I mean, like, I don't I

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Speaker 3: guess this is how it works, but it doesn't seem

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Speaker 3: sensical to me if someone didn't know they were a parent,

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Speaker 3: Like let's say, you know, someone finds out sixteen years later.

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Speaker 2: Because sixteen years of birth path.

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Speaker 3: Yeah the birth Like, couldn't you get someone for sixteen

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Speaker 3: years of back payments?

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Speaker 2: I believe so based on this is that? Is that true?

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Speaker 2: Let let us know could possibly be in the chat

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Speaker 2: more common than a thing. I don't know much about

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Speaker 2: it because you refuse to share, only that it's around

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Speaker 2: twenty k for three years. Dang twenty k, Yeah, you're mess.

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Speaker 2: A couple of years ago by I take fiance to

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Speaker 2: the DMV to renew his license because it's way past

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Speaker 2: expired and he won't do it. Lo and behold, it's suspended.

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Speaker 2: I wonder why, but I see you in the chat.

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Speaker 2: His license suspended, But that's what you were doing for?

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Speaker 2: Why past? Do child support judgment for another child? Separate child,

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Speaker 2: a twelve year old girl and it's thirty thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: for this kid?

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Speaker 3: Wait? Did he know about this child?

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Speaker 2: Beyonce is literally sick and I mean he threw up

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Speaker 2: all night, so MA sounds like he didn't know. But

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Speaker 2: also how is he finding out about these kids so late? Yeah? Worse.

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Speaker 2: In order to get his license suspended, he had to

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Speaker 2: contact child support department in his old state and give

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Speaker 2: them all his current info, where he works, where he lives,

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Speaker 2: and soon enough a notice comes through HR. No, he's

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Speaker 2: going to be garnished twenty five percent of his after

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Speaker 2: tax pay because of the child support judgment. Twenty five percent.

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Speaker 3: What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: It means that after taxes, they're the government's taking twenty

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Speaker 2: five percent of his pay. So if he's paid a thout,

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Speaker 2: like let's say he's paid, you know, one thousand dollars,

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Speaker 2: after taxes, they're they're they're taking two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 2: dollars of that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay. And if someone had like taxes coming up

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Speaker 3: soon and they were being paid by a company, you know.

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Speaker 2: With third tax I think you would go online, how

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Speaker 2: you would research it.

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Speaker 3: Get on that real quick.

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Speaker 2: You should get on that. You should get on that.

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Speaker 2: I'm this is your coming of age as as as

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Speaker 2: an adult.

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Speaker 3: No, this is not me. I'm ready, I'm fine.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure you are read it. He just shut down

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Speaker 2: after that, Stone walls any conversation regarding the issue at all.

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Speaker 2: I took up more of the bills, but now we're

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Speaker 2: both struggling. We have had to move into a smaller,

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Speaker 2: crappier apartment using my credit alone because his has a

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Speaker 2: big fat judgment on it. He had to refinance his

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Speaker 2: almost paid off car because he couldn't afford the high payments,

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Speaker 2: and there's some kind of hearing coming up. I don't

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Speaker 2: know what it's about, because he flatly refuses tell me.

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Speaker 2: I think maybe it's to adjust the payments based on

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Speaker 2: his current income, which has grown due to a promotion. Okay,

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Speaker 2: at least we got we got some somebody coming up.

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Speaker 3: How many secret babies would it take for.

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Speaker 2: You to break up with someone?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like they don't know about the babies either.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think something we've said on the show

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Speaker 2: is like the past is the past. We want to

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Speaker 2: take people for who they are, but who you are?

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Speaker 2: How many?

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Speaker 3: How many depends how long of datings like a month? No,

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Speaker 3: it's not a month, it's however long a peace.

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Speaker 2: One one secret baby for every five years of marriage.

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Speaker 2: Either way, he hasn't bought plane tickets, or rather hasn't

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Speaker 2: asked me for the money because he can't afford them.

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Speaker 2: I think he's not going it'll be an automatic judgment

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Speaker 2: against him. Here's the thing. He could request a DNA

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Speaker 2: test for the girl he has it. You totally should

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Speaker 2: to make sure that's actually your kid, though he has

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Speaker 2: told me he's certain he's not the father, Thank god,

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Speaker 2: thank god.

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Speaker 3: No, he's just saying that he's just going I'm manifesting.

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Speaker 2: He could hire an attorney. I've offered to front the costs,

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Speaker 2: but he has a thousand excuses. He had to get

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Speaker 2: one in another state. They gouge him because he wasn't there.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't have the time. Excuse, excuse, excuse. The hearing

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Speaker 2: is in three weeks. I don't know what's going on,

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Speaker 2: and he's so passive about it that I'm worried. So

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Speaker 2: I opened up an official looking notice received a few

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Speaker 2: months back, but never bothered to open. You're joking, No,

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Speaker 2: there's a third child.

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Speaker 3: What is this man doing?

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Speaker 2: This guy's this guy's got what.

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Speaker 3: Is this man doing?

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, he must just be I mean his

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Speaker 2: reflexes are definitely not strong at the very least.

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Speaker 3: No. No, But like I don't even think that's the crazy

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Speaker 3: thing for me, because people have accidental children all the time.

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Speaker 3: How does this man have three secret children? How is

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Speaker 3: he finding three people that aren't telling him that they

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Speaker 3: had a child with him until three to twelve years later.

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Speaker 2: To get pregnant. You have to you have to be

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Speaker 2: doing it raw.

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Speaker 3: For like a year, well not necessarily, I mean for like.

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Speaker 2: On average on our rout look at how look on

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Speaker 2: the average time it takes for a couple to get pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Average time the average time to conceive for healthy couples

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Speaker 3: is around six months, normal for some couples to take

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Speaker 3: longer up to a year.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so that's once to a year. Do I know? Women?

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Speaker 3: I say like six months over one person, and then

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Speaker 3: we have x over one hundreds, that's six hundred.

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Speaker 2: I don't know there is a third child. This one

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Speaker 2: is a brother of the girl. Maybe the hearing is

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Speaker 2: actually about him. Oh god, dang, I just don't know.

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Speaker 2: He has actually left the house for a long walk

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Speaker 2: when I questioned him a few weeks back. Man needs

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Speaker 2: more than a long walk. I am not a nagging person.

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Speaker 2: Asking him to deal with his BS is uncomfortable for

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Speaker 2: me too.

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Speaker 3: Hold on though, this because unless this boy is a twin,

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Speaker 3: then he saw that woman twice. The one he had

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Speaker 3: a twelve year old girl with she head right, she

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Speaker 3: would have had to hide this.

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Speaker 2: This is suspicious. If I have to confront him with

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Speaker 2: an ultimatum. We've reached the point of no return, but

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Speaker 2: I'm almost there. I think you should be there. Yeah, man,

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Speaker 2: I love my fiance. He's fifty k for the first

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Speaker 2: boy and girl in debt that will haunt him for

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Speaker 2: the foreseeable future. He won't do anything about it, just

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Speaker 2: sticks his head in the sand and hopes it goes away.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he's depressed. KEI as normal as if none of

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Speaker 2: this is happening.

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Speaker 3: He's gaslighting himself.

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Speaker 2: There might be more on the way with the third child.

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Speaker 2: If I stay with him, I'll never be able to

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Speaker 2: buy a house. I will have to make all major

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Speaker 2: purchases on my credit alone, and we can never combine income.

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Speaker 2: He has abandoned three children. I don't know the full

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Speaker 2: stories of the relationship between him and the mothers other

248
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,760
Speaker 2: than it was painful and full of lies. One is

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Speaker 2: his biological child, for sure. The other two are a question,

250
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Speaker 2: but they may as well be in the eyes of

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Speaker 2: the state. He doesn't care about them other than the

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Speaker 2: bi weekly garnishment on his paycheck. As far as I understand,

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Speaker 2: he's never asked about them once. I had a pregnancy

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Speaker 2: scare last month, well, actually I found it. I had

255
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Speaker 2: been pregnant via miscarriage. Oh, no condolence is needed. Never

256
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Speaker 2: mind who I didn't tell him it's done. But the

257
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Speaker 2: first thought in my head after I realized what came

258
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Speaker 2: out was my child would have been the fourth in

259
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:13,000
Speaker 2: line for any support if things went south. Who says

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Speaker 2: he wouldn't abandon me too. We do plan on having

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Speaker 2: children eventually. My heart loves this guy, my head says

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Speaker 2: I'll be throwing away by financial future if I stick

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Speaker 2: with him. What does Reddit say? And there's an update

264
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Speaker 2: the next day? But what do you think? Sofia should

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Speaker 2: ope listen to the heart that says I love him

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Speaker 2: or the head that says I will be financially ruined

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Speaker 2: if I stay with good?

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Speaker 3: And Also I feel like ope, is I mean, in

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Speaker 3: part rightfully so thinking about the financials, but like I

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Speaker 3: think she's thinking about them too much. You know, she's like, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm leaving them because because of finances that feel so cruel.

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Speaker 3: It's like, no, you're leaving him because he has three

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Speaker 3: secret children. Yeah, and I feel like he's not even

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Speaker 3: thinking about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the f angels are worried. I think what's more

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00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:07,040
Speaker 2: worrisome is like the potential lies that are embedded in

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Speaker 2: this whole scenario.

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Speaker 3: The potential lies the fact that he's now trying to

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Speaker 3: abandon kind of three children that has some responsibility for.

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Speaker 2: Maybe the two children are questioned, but he's paying. He's accepting,

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Speaker 2: like he's accepting, he's paying for them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, even though the two children are a question mark,

283
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Speaker 3: he's not putting in any effort to figure out, you know,

284
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Speaker 3: if they are his.

285
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's just I mean, he's basically acting as

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00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,520
Speaker 2: if they are his, but saying that they aren't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that his man is ostriching.

288
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:46,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we got an update see Great Children, Secret Children.

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Speaker 2: So unfortunately, someone linked my previous post from another subreddit,

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Speaker 2: so the post was locked and deleted. The basic justice

291
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 2: my fiance had stuck his head in the sand, and

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00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,840
Speaker 2: it was ignoring child support notices and hearings to the

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Speaker 2: tune of fifty thousand dollars for children conceived way before

294
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Speaker 2: our relationship started. After the second surprise child, he had

295
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,480
Speaker 2: completely shut me out on the subject. I opened up

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00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,840
Speaker 2: some of his forgotten mail and saw there was a

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00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,520
Speaker 2: notice for a third child and to recap baby one

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00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,560
Speaker 2: three year old boys. He was able to give up

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00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,720
Speaker 2: his paternal rights in favor of the mother's grandparents because

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00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,680
Speaker 2: the mother had mental health issues. Twenty thousand dollars child

301
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Speaker 2: support in a re What is that? Ariears our years,

302
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 2: our years? What is that? How does he pronounce that

303
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:38,280
Speaker 2: baby two, twelve year old girl thirty k ongoing child support?

304
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,560
Speaker 2: I don't know the story behind this one, and he

305
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:45,040
Speaker 2: isn't talking baby three, brother of the twelve year old girl.

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Speaker 2: The birthdate was on the paperwork, but he took that

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Speaker 2: letter with him. Thank you for all the comments, PMS

308
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 2: and valuable feedback from my other posts. The ones that

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00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 2: told me I too was sticking my head in the sand. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: good point. Really put it in place with me, and

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00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 2: did the ones who gave me professional as did the

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00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 2: ones who gave me professional insight that it was simply

313
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:10,200
Speaker 2: not possible for him to have been completely blindsided with

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Speaker 2: all three children. Yeah, I mean with the brother thing.

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Speaker 3: The brother thing, like either the brother's older younger, he

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00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,320
Speaker 3: would have known or he should have known, unless the

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00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:26,440
Speaker 3: mother was some kind of schemer who hid the children. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, unless they were meeting at like a hotel

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Speaker 3: or something. Yeah, you know, he should have You should

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00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:35,800
Speaker 3: have known something about that. Other child. Kirsch says, Elon,

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Speaker 3: is this you Yeah, I mean, I guess I'm I'm.

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Speaker 2: The only scenario I could see for those other two

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00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 2: kids is he was having an affair with this person

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Speaker 2: consistently and didn't know about the children. I think, and

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00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,720
Speaker 2: then those children came from another partner or something that

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00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:55,800
Speaker 2: wasn't a marriage. But again, but the sus Caitlyn van

327
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Speaker 2: Gambon says, bro is running from the child support payments

328
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Speaker 2: and the child's sport finally caught up.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 2: I think that is probably the most likely scenario. It's arrears.

331
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,479
Speaker 2: So I was in a mood when he got home tonight.

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00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,679
Speaker 2: I showed my fiance, who I'm now calling Johnny Applesey

333
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 2: thanks to a previous commenter, the letter I opened about

334
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 2: the third child. Luckily he didn't get all huffy about

335
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,640
Speaker 2: me opening his mail because I was not in the mood.

336
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,399
Speaker 2: Johnny's space just fell. I think we're getting the truth.

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00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,320
Speaker 2: We're gonna get the truth. And he said it was

338
00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,719
Speaker 2: impossible for him to be the father of the third child.

339
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,400
Speaker 2: He didn't know about it, not having opened his child

340
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,600
Speaker 2: support mail over the last few months. That the mother

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00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,760
Speaker 2: of the twelve year old child, had one child support

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00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 2: judgment against him for the girl, and now was clearly

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00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 2: looking for more. I told him I thought that was BS,

344
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,639
Speaker 2: and I wanted the truth now that I'd been looking

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00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,600
Speaker 2: through his old States law and the courts can't have

346
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,680
Speaker 2: ruled him the father of a twelve year old without evidence.

347
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,879
Speaker 2: He pulled his usual stonewall stuff, said it didn't matter

348
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 2: because there was a judgment against him, he was screwed

349
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 2: for life. He actually started to cry. I kept on him,

350
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,880
Speaker 2: and he finally told me the truth. The truth comes out.

351
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,520
Speaker 2: Baby gave it to me. So he and the baby

352
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:21,000
Speaker 2: mama were in love since they were teenagers, but it

353
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,280
Speaker 2: was an on and off relationship. She was drama. She

354
00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,840
Speaker 2: got pregnant and he was there for her, but right

355
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 2: before the baby was born, she told him he wasn't

356
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Speaker 2: the father. He was stubborn and proud and still signed

357
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,360
Speaker 2: the birth certificate, but he left her soon after at

358
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:39,639
Speaker 2: her request and didn't have any contact. Why didn't he

359
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 2: get a DNA test? It was expensive and his heart

360
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 2: was broken.

361
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,520
Speaker 3: But he still has some sort of.

362
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,240
Speaker 2: Like out so he still is an out.

363
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,320
Speaker 3: Oh no, but he still has some sort of responsibility

364
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,720
Speaker 3: because he signed the birth certificate.

365
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you can prove that paternity wasn't what

366
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 2: was like, uh, it was false. If you can prove

367
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 2: you like the pernity like fails, then you could get

368
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 2: out of it. By the end of this, he was crying.

369
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,160
Speaker 2: I started crying too, and I told him I can't

370
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:09,240
Speaker 2: marry him right now with all this going on. Yes,

371
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 2: oh my god, finally yeah, OMG. Did he go instantly

372
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,200
Speaker 2: from sorrowful to pust He kept asking me how I

373
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 2: could do this. But I knew about the child's support

374
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,439
Speaker 2: going in, and that he'd always been honest with me.

375
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 3: It's not true. You just admitted to lie.

376
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 2: Truth. Yeah, No, he'd said nothing or insinuated. She put

377
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 2: his name on the BURSTICKA fit not the same as honesty.

378
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,400
Speaker 2: That he knew baby Mam was trying to get again

379
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 2: to ruin his life, and the judgment was already in.

380
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 2: There was nothing he could do because the courts always

381
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,359
Speaker 2: ruled in the favor of the mother. There was no

382
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,880
Speaker 2: point in trying. This was all her fault for trying

383
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 2: to ruin his life, and by taking her side over him.

384
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:51,239
Speaker 2: I was letting her.

385
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, this man is just doing the whole

386
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:54,159
Speaker 3: woe is Me?

387
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,879
Speaker 2: Routine? Yeah, Reddit, I'd like to say I threw in

388
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 2: some good zingers. The fact is, when things get heated,

389
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,120
Speaker 2: my brain stalls out. I said some things about how

390
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 2: he was handling the situation, keeping me locked out of

391
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 2: what was going on with the upcoming hearing, and if

392
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,879
Speaker 2: he kept blowing this off, he'd go to jail. But

393
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 2: my delivery sounded kind of aim even to me. It's

394
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 2: never like how I practiced it in my head or

395
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 2: can type it out here, you know. Then he started

396
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,439
Speaker 2: asking me if this was about a male coworker I

397
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 2: had once given a ride home like three months ago,

398
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 2: if I had an affair with him. He is deflecting.

399
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 2: He's trying to like get the conversation away from all

400
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 2: of because he can't take respond I mean, he can't

401
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 2: take responsibility of three kids. Yeah, oh, what the F No.

402
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 2: I took off his ring, his grandmother's, and told him

403
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 2: to take it, that he needed to move out tonight,

404
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 2: stay with someone else, and give me some space. The

405
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 2: wedding was off and I needed a few days to

406
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 2: consider the rest of the relationship. Good idea, definitely a

407
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 2: step back. He kept asking me why, like he couldn't

408
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 2: believe I was breaking out the wedding because a little

409
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 2: old thing like fifty k in debt, three surprise children,

410
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 2: and a complete shutdown of the subject and the lining.

411
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 2: Then he called me shallow. That money means more to

412
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 2: me than love.

413
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 3: That's so funny, that's so funny. This man will do

414
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 3: anything but look in a mirror.

415
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: Mm hmm hmmmm. I mean he can't right now. What's

416
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 2: love got to do with this? Mm hmm. Well it

417
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 2: went on, but I'm already sick of reliving this. He

418
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:34,919
Speaker 2: does swear there is no possibility of any more surprise

419
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: children period. He packed a duffel full of clothes and left,

420
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: having convinced himself that I was either cheating on him

421
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 2: or shallow and money hungry. So I spent the evening

422
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 2: rereading comments I've done the right thing right and browsing

423
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 2: four rent signs. Also the right thing. The least is

424
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 2: in my name only because of the judgments on his

425
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 2: credit reports. Uugh, this is what I become, lying the

426
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 2: landlords because of my irresponsible fiance. He probably has some

427
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 2: sort of resident rights anyway. Mah. At least he's out

428
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 2: of the apartment for now. I texted him a long

429
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 2: message about an hour ago. Johnny, before we join our

430
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: lives together, I need to know you can handle your

431
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: responsibilities like an adult. Go to the hearing. I will

432
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,959
Speaker 2: help you with a lawyer, with a plane ticket, whatever.

433
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 2: If you treat me like a partner, maybe we can

434
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 2: rebuild our relationship. I love you, girl?

435
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 3: Is that?

436
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:29,679
Speaker 2: Is she doing this like?

437
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 3: Girl?

438
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, dude, I don't know. I

439
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 2: know she loves him, but he's terrible. I understand wanting

440
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 2: to give someone a second chance.

441
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 3: But you've given this man three two.

442
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 2: You've given him so many chances already, and he's shown

443
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 2: that he's like lying. I think this giving him another

444
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,880
Speaker 2: chance is just because maybe you want to stay comfortable

445
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 2: in the and the relationship. I mean yeah, And also

446
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 2: with the last comment too, yeah, Sna says, especially after

447
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 2: the last moment, like you.

448
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,400
Speaker 3: Accused you of cheating on him because you told him

449
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 3: that it wasn't okay, that he isn't taking care of

450
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 3: any of his problems.

451
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: He hasn't answered. I hope he listens to reason once

452
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 2: he cools down. He has so many good qualities.

453
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 3: I doubt that they outweigh the bad.

454
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 2: I have to share the very worst of my post

455
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 2: to you all. You'd be an excellent father if you

456
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 2: wanted visitation, and I'm willing to put into the work

457
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: to sort this out and move forward with these kids.

458
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: If he is, yeah, I'm sorry, I would be an

459
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 3: excellent president. And if I wanted to be president.

460
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 2: What there are There's a lot of work to be

461
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,520
Speaker 2: done here, and I think a lot of work that

462
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 2: you can't do. He needs to do a lot of

463
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 2: work on his own. I'm not saying you can never

464
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 2: be together, but what I am saying is, please, please, please,

465
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 2: please be separate for a while.

466
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 3: I mean be separate at least until he figures his

467
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 3: stuff out.

468
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's convinced himself he is screwed for life, and

469
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,199
Speaker 2: I think it's paralyzed him. It's a terrifying place to be.

470
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 2: I know, basically everyone wanted me to punt him to

471
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 2: the curb, but I'm hoping this break is enough of

472
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 2: a come to Jesus moment for him to prove he's

473
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 2: not an irresponsible person. Basically, if he wants to fight

474
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: for this relationship, he has got to go to the hearing,

475
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 2: handle his business, get on a payment plan, and keep

476
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 2: on it, then seek relationship counseling, lots and lots of

477
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 2: relationship counseling, and then we'll see I still may break

478
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: up permanently. Okay, that's good, but at least he'll have

479
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 2: sorted out a thing or two. Maybe I'm just holding

480
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 2: on to hope. What do you think, Sophia? I think

481
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 2: for sure.

482
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're holding on to hope more than.

483
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 2: Yep, yep, more than what, more than what? More than

484
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 2: more yep?

485
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 3: A better man.

486
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 2: Yep, holds on to a webs yep. That was great.

487
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 2: So that's it. I really wish I had thought of

488
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 2: something awesome to say during the argument, like maybe I'm

489
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 2: holding on to hope harder than Spider Man holds onto

490
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 2: webs exactly. But life isn't a movie. No, it's not

491
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 2: like there we go. She's on it. But Paul is

492
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 2: in his court. Let's see if he mans up or not.

493
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: Anyone been through anything like this, Behore, I hope not.

494
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 3: I think you may be the first.

495
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 2: I did blindside him a little because I too had

496
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: been way too passive in letting this slide. How do

497
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 2: I help him help himself? And we got an update?

498
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 2: It might feel like, oh, I'm abandoning him when he

499
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 2: needs it. Yeah, but like in actuality, you were letting

500
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 2: him solve his own problems and independence. Yeah, and be

501
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 2: an adult.

502
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 3: The thing is that I'm sure that nobody really is

503
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 3: prepared to take care of three secret children, but when

504
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 3: it happens, your responsibility to take care of it.

505
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 2: He hasn't answered the texts with the offer to help.

506
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 2: I've called the landlord and requested a new lock for

507
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 2: the door. He's not on the lease and it's probably

508
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,719
Speaker 2: not legal. But as someone pointed out, and I agree,

509
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 2: he's adverse to going to courts. Responses have been passionate.

510
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 2: I don't think I was clear. We're essentially done. I

511
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,719
Speaker 2: turned his grandmother's ring and told him to give me space.

512
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 2: If if he accepts help and steps up to his

513
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 2: obligations to his children with no backsliding, only then will

514
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 2: I consider taking him back. Not for immediate marriage JFC,

515
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 2: I'm not insane. Well what does that mean? What's JFC?

516
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 2: Not to get pregnant, as some lovely commenter suggested, But

517
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 2: considering it's morning and he still has an answer to

518
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 2: the text, it probably doesn't matter. Yeah, I think he's

519
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 2: given thing.

520
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 3: Is it sounds like you were willing to give him

521
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 3: a chance, but he's already given up on your relationship.

522
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 2: So yeah again, and he's shown through his actions. But

523
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 2: we got some relevant comments. Hopefully these relevant comment as

524
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 2: saying girl, wake up there. But we got some relevant comments.

525
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 2: So A pretty dirt unlive says he would be an

526
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 2: excellent father if you wanted visitation. What he would be

527
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 2: a doctor, if he graduated medic school school, he would

528
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 2: be a millionaire if he had won the power ball,

529
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 2: if he had wings, he'd be a bird. What he

530
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 2: is as a total failure as a father at times three,

531
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 2: he participated in the creation of three little ones, abandoned

532
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 2: them emotionally and financially, and now complains that they are

533
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 2: burdened three children growing up fatherless, which will color their

534
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: lives for other because of him. This is the depth

535
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 2: of compassion and empathy that he is capable of. This

536
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 2: is how he treats the truly powerless and dependent, even

537
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 2: though he has every legal and moral obligation to support them,

538
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 2: because there's nothing in it for him. His maybe they're

539
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 2: not mine excuse is a total load of bs, Because

540
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 2: if he had an iota of humanity and him, he'd

541
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 2: care enough to find out it. Oh, he responds to this, Sofia,

542
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 2: what do you think about that company?

543
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 3: The thing is, I completely agree if he believed that

544
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 3: these children were truly not his, that he'd take. Yeah,

545
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 3: he would take. He would say, yeah, he believes in

546
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 3: his heart that they are. Yeah, he knows in his

547
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 3: heart that they are.

548
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 2: Is I feel like we have like delusion on two levels. Here.

549
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 2: We have the delusion of this guy who is I

550
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 2: guess deluding himself thinking that he is not responsible for

551
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 2: these kids and if he doesn't confront everything, it'll go away.

552
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 2: And then we have delusional ope that thinks that if

553
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 2: she gives this husband another chance, will turn into this

554
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 2: model father and and model partner. And I just don't

555
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 2: think we have any evidence of that.

556
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 3: Nope.

557
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 2: But Opie responds, Okay, this did make me laugh. You

558
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 2: have a points and update two one month later. Hey,

559
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 2: it's Sam, your ogi host here. Bring it back to

560
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 2: the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

561
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 3: See if he went to any of his court hearings.

562
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I don't know where to start.

563
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 2: After I called off the wedding and returned his grandmother's

564
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 2: engagement ring. He packed a duffel full of his clothes

565
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: and left. Been about a month and I haven't heard

566
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 2: a peep from him. I changed the on the apartment,

567
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 2: but he hasn't been back for his stuff anyway. He

568
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 2: blocked me on Facebook and then and when I gave

569
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: in and tried to give him a call a week later,

570
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 2: he'd changed his phone number two. This is his m O. Yeah,

571
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: this is his m O.

572
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 3: He does this. I mean, he's done this to three children.

573
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:21,719
Speaker 2: Also, what's crazy is she had a miscarriage, so it

574
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 2: could have been four.

575
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 3: The blocking. I bet he does this to everyone at

576
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 3: the women and then when they try and reach out

577
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 3: to him to tell him that they have children, they can't.

578
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 3: They can't reach out.

579
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 2: He's got a system. I heard he was staying at

580
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 2: his best bro's house courtesy of Bro's girlfriend. Trust me.

581
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 2: I went through all the stages of grief, denial, anger, acceptance,

582
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 2: et cetera, and I finally accepted he wasn't coming back.

583
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 2: I thought maybe he'd gone back to his home state

584
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 2: to be one of the baby mamas, but his car

585
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: was parked in the parking lot at his work. I

586
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 2: may have drove past once or twice. The hearing was

587
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 2: scheduled for early this week, and finally tonight, I plucked

588
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: up the urge and went to best Bro's house to

589
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 2: confront him. Who I think, just let him be, Let

590
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 2: him be, you know, like you don't, don't, don't get

591
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 2: involved in him? Like like.

592
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 3: Answered like, okay, I'm going to confront him and tell

593
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 3: him that he can either change or leave.

594
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 2: And so he's he's left. He's given up on the relationship.

595
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 2: The least he could do is get his crap out

596
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 2: of my apartment. Right, I grabbed up as many many

597
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 2: unopened child support notices. We know this is not the reason, right,

598
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 2: she just wants to see him as this is not

599
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 2: not If you really didn't care about him and the relationship,

600
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: he would probably just put his stuff in a trash

601
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: bag and leave it there exactly. And a picture of

602
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 2: boy number one he left on his dresser. It's the

603
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 2: only picture of the three kids that he has, and

604
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 2: he left it behind because he doesn't care, doesn't care

605
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: about Best Bro answered the door, and what follows about

606
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 2: the most awkward conversation ever. I can't remember the conversation verbatim,

607
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 2: but I asked where ex fiance was and Best Bro

608
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,080
Speaker 2: said he wasn't there. He's being all evasive. And I

609
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: asked if he went to the hearing or not, and

610
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 2: Best Bro looked confused. What hearing? I told him the

611
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 2: child support hearing for his three kids. Best Bro looked

612
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 2: super confused, like I was crazy. Then he asked if

613
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 2: I was seeing anyone else other than ex fiance. I said,

614
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 2: of course I wasn't. I gave Best Bro a very

615
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 2: abbreviated version punted ex fiance out because he was doing

616
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 2: his child support for from his baby mamas. He had

617
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 2: a hearing earlier this week. I was getting loud because

618
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 2: I'd been bottling this up, and Best Bro's girlfriend came

619
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 2: out to see what was going on. She's the one

620
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 2: who told me her exact words, your man lost his

621
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 2: dang mind. But I think we're going to see what

622
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 2: happened to me. Yeah, Moorgie, and he went on a

623
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 2: bender and now there's ten baby mamas. The weekend after

624
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 2: I punted him out, he went to a bar with

625
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: his best bro old girl bashing what wait what I

626
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 2: read ahead, That's what I'm saying. I've been met up

627
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 2: with some twenty two year old bard and hooked up

628
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 2: read it. He married her last weekend, drove up to Reno,

629
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 2: were a couple hours from the Nevada border, and did

630
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 2: the whole Chapel of Love thing where these women and

631
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 2: his girlfriend were the witnesses. They hadn't really supported his decision,

632
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 2: but he had convinced them I was a cheating witch

633
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: and he was heartbroken. Plus Best Bro's girlfriend implied later

634
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 2: that he'd overstayed his welcome by crashing at the house

635
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 2: for most of the month. I was shocked and pissed

636
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 2: and wanted to cry because I sort of got the

637
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 2: vibe that Best Bro still didn't believe I wasn't cheating.

638
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 2: So I grabbed the court documents from my car and

639
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 2: gave them to him to pass along to my ex.

640
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 2: I doubt they'll open them up, but the fact that

641
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 2: they're from Old State County's Child Support division should be

642
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 2: good enough evidence. I don't know why I should care

643
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: about their opinion. Neither one of them called me during this.

644
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 2: I thought I was their friend too, but they believed him.

645
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 2: I'm back home, surrounded by his crap and trying to

646
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 2: sort out my feelings. Put the crap in trash bags

647
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: and put it on Best bros doorstep. I feel like

648
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 2: I've just watched someone blow through all the bridge's out

649
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 2: warning signs and drive off a cliff. I told my

650
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 2: ex i'd help him get a lawyer for the hearing,

651
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 2: help them with a plane ticket. Instead of taking care

652
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 2: of his business, he went and married some chick he'd

653
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 2: known for like two and a half weeks at most.

654
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 2: I think I'm not in the mood to drag out

655
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 2: the calendar. Let's be generous and call it three weeks.

656
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 2: I should feel bad for the girl, his new wife,

657
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 2: what the f for what she's just gotten into. But

658
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: she must either be a real piece of work herself

659
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 2: or just an idiot who marries someone they've known for

660
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: that short of a time. And I know someone out

661
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,719
Speaker 2: there is thinking you're an idiot. He had to have

662
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 2: known her for longer. He was cheating before this, well,

663
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 2: I'm certain he wasn't. He is a homebody by nature.

664
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 2: There was never any missing time in a relationship, and

665
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 2: Best Bro is pretty clear they'd met at the bar

666
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: that night, So basically, instead of going to his child

667
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 2: support hearing, he was moving in with his new wifey

668
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 2: and probably doing what newly married people. Do I hope

669
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 2: they're happy together? Of course I don't. I guess my

670
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 2: next stop is the legal advice submurn to figure out

671
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 2: what to do with this stuff. You might have a

672
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 2: contempt of court warrant out for him for skipping the hearing,

673
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 2: so I doubt he'll assume me if I toss it

674
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,799
Speaker 2: all away, But I do want to cover my butt.

675
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 2: By the way, if you want to cover your butt

676
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 2: with audio going into your ears, go listen to full

677
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 2: episodes of stories just like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

678
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 2: or your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, story time,

679
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: there's another for there's another relevant update. But it feels like, oh,

680
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 2: he's finally getting the message that this guy is not

681
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:35,879
Speaker 2: coming back.

682
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 3: Well like it took her a while. Took her a while,

683
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 3: and it took her it took her boyfriend marrying someone

684
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 3: else in Reno.

685
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 2: I know, I know, which is kind.

686
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 3: Of shocking, but it does seem again like his mo

687
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 3: he engages or he marries or whatever.

688
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: He has a system. Man works quick.

689
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 3: He makes these women think that they are the love

690
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 3: of his life, and he's I want to baby that.

691
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 3: They say, Hey.

692
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 2: Dude, what about these three baby mamas. He goes, yeah,

693
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: so let's get into this end of the story. I

694
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 2: know I need to ask a questions, So here it is.

695
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 2: What in the world was he thinking? Out of all

696
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 2: the options he had to pick, he picked the very worst.

697
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 2: What was she thinking? I loved Slash, loved the man,

698
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 2: but even I can admit he's not classically good looking.

699
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 2: He had nothing to offer but a low paying job

700
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 2: and being practically homeless. And finally, what is wrong with

701
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,359
Speaker 2: me that I feel terrible? He's found some new way

702
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 2: to f up. It's live. Hey, that's love. Op sucks.

703
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 2: But maybe you can choose more wisely in love next time, hopefully, hopefully,

704
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 2: But oh my gosh, that was a doozy. Truly all right,

705
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 2: we got one more story in that episode. I'll get

706
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 2: it back.

707
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 3: I just took a DNA test and found out my

708
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 3: dad isn't my biological father.

709
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 2: Ooh no.

710
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 3: I'd always read posts like this, but never thought I

711
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 3: would be writing one myself at thirty five years old.

712
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 3: I'm sharing my story in hopes of connecting with others

713
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 3: who might understand what I'm going through. If you do

714
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,720
Speaker 3: read this, all, please know that I experienced a lot

715
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 3: of denial at the beginning of this process. By the way,

716
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 3: this comes from the Secret world X and if you

717
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 3: want to spit your own stories, go to our slash

718
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 3: okay storytime separate it so. As someone who believes in

719
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,880
Speaker 3: science and data, it's painful to realize how hard I

720
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 3: fought against accepting the truth. If you knew right away

721
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,760
Speaker 3: in a similar situation, please know I just wasn't capable

722
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 3: of that, at least not initially. I was doing the

723
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 3: best I could. Just over a week ago, on Hollowey night,

724
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 3: I was about to go to sleep at around two

725
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 3: am when I got an email that my ancestry DNA

726
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 3: results were ready. Eager to see the results, I decided

727
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: to take a quick look. I was excited because this

728
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 3: was a project I had been working on with my fathers.

729
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: Must say Pandora's box as we know.

730
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 3: Oh when his mother, my close grandparent, passed a few

731
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 3: years ago, we were happy to bond over carrying on

732
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 3: her genealogy research to discover and explore our extended family

733
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 3: treat But upon opening the region's page, I was immediately confused.

734
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 3: Three of my grandparents, now all deceased, had strong Ashkanazi's

735
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 3: backgrounds which have always been a huge part of my identity.

736
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 3: While my living family is not strictly religious, we have

737
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 3: always been very connected ethnically and culturally to our Judaism.

738
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 3: But when I looked at my results, they showed that

739
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 3: I was only thirty four percent Ashkanazi, a stark difference

740
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 3: from my brother's eighty percent from when he took the

741
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,240
Speaker 3: test a few years ago. I convinced myself that maybe

742
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: he'd inherited the maximum them out of those genetics. Well,

743
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 3: I received the minimum. Regions appeared that I had never

744
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,280
Speaker 3: heard my family speak of, and I had never seen

745
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 3: in any of my research French Basque Bosque finish. I

746
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 3: dismissed this as well, recalling posts I have seen about

747
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 3: people's DNA results shifting after recent Ancestry platform updates.

748
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 2: Man in, I'm putting some ICUs, putting some icyus.

749
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 3: I mean large icy us in a large amounts of

750
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 3: denial to be like, my brother just got more of

751
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 3: the Ashkaranazi. That's unfortunately not.

752
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 2: That's not how it works, oh man.

753
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:29,399
Speaker 3: Man, Yeah, yeah, just a train train on.

754
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 2: Fun on the side.

755
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 3: Then I moved to regions by parent and I saw

756
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 3: that all my Oshkarazi ancestry came from parent one. Well,

757
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 3: all these unexpected regions were from parent two. I felt

758
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 3: a pang of panic, but quickly assigned parent one to

759
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 3: my father, who had two Oshkanazi parents, and parent two

760
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 3: to my mother, who had one Oshkanazi parent. I kept

761
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 3: reassuring myself that this was just an extreme genetic distribution

762
00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 3: and nothing more.

763
00:38:59,480 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 2: Sure.

764
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 3: Then I opened the DNA matches section and saw my

765
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 3: brother listed. This was no surprise to me, as I

766
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 3: knew he had taken a test years ago. But then

767
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,320
Speaker 3: I saw that he was listed as my half brother.

768
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:15,360
Speaker 2: Would he not know the same information? Like would he

769
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 2: not know that?

770
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 3: No, because OP, he wouldn't have shown up.

771
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 2: Right, But like couldn't because like OP, he was before

772
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 2: he saw half brother. Before OP saw a half brother, OP,

773
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,879
Speaker 2: he was looking at the like oscaranzi Jew, like like oh,

774
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: like hey, like I I know this. My mom came,

775
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 2: I had these many oshcnozi Jew parents, and then my

776
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 2: dad had this many.

777
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 3: I think if OP had been open to any of

778
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 3: the information, he would have realized that it wasn't you

779
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 3: know it.

780
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 2: Was the stepbrother didn't know his step brother? No, But

781
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 2: didn't the stepbrother already did the step brother, already.

782
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,919
Speaker 3: Saying if like, all of the information is really clear, Yeah,

783
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 3: it's pointing to a very clear answer, and it seems

784
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 3: like he's just like no, no, no no. I quickly

785
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 3: changed the label full brother, ignoring pop up warnings encouraging

786
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 3: against it. As I kept looking, I noticed two other

787
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 3: people below my brother who appeared as my maternal grandparents,

788
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 3: but their names were not those of the grandparents I

789
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 3: grew up with my whole life. They were my grandparents'

790
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 3: best friends, my sort of Swedo grandparents growing up. I

791
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 3: gasped and clung to the idea that my mother had

792
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 3: been adopted by her parents and that both families had

793
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 3: stayed close through it all. After sitting with this for

794
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 3: a few hours, I called my dad, even though he

795
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 3: and my mom had been divorced for fifteen years and

796
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 3: I never made it a habit to involve them in

797
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 3: each other's affairs. I just needed reassurance, and I've always

798
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 3: called my dad when I needed help. When I asked

799
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 3: if he knew whether my mom had been adopted, he laughed,

800
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 3: assuring me she wasn't. I took him through what I'd found,

801
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 3: leaving out details I thought were irrelevant. My dad was quiet,

802
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 3: as I explained, but he patiently walked me through my theory.

803
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 3: The more we talked, the more inconsistencies be uncovered, and

804
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 3: I grew in reacingly frustrated. Then, to my shock, my

805
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 3: dad suggested that he might be questioning his paternity.

806
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 2: To me, I thought that when OPI went through that

807
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 2: the Ashkarazi jew actually did match up.

808
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:20,800
Speaker 3: So what happened here? It seems like OPI had parent

809
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 3: one and parent two with no names, and it said

810
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 3: parent one a certain amount of Ashkenazi and then parent too,

811
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 3: like thirty two percent Ashkenazi. So he went, oh, well parent,

812
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 3: this parent must be my dad and this parent must

813
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 3: be my mom. But he swapped them, and so he

814
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 3: instead of being like, oh, my dad's not my dad,

815
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 3: he was like, my mom's adopted because he had swapped

816
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 3: the parents. Yeah, yeah, so he misassigned them. Is what

817
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 3: has happened here? I laughed it off, even grew angry

818
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 3: with him, trying to steer the conversation back to my

819
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,839
Speaker 3: mom's adoption. But when he looked up his own twenty

820
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 3: tie three and meter results, I went back to my

821
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 3: DNA matches section to find my closest relative on my

822
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 3: paternal side. I clicked into family trees, expecting to see

823
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 3: familiar names, and they were familiar, just not paternally. The

824
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 3: trees showed my mother's relatives per tree. It hit me

825
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 3: I had misassigned my parents. Parent one was my mother

826
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 3: and parent two was my father. Yeah, with the correct assignments,

827
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 3: my biological grandparents shifted to my paternal side. As I

828
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 3: was confirming this for my father, he protested, telling me

829
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 3: this still doesn't line up one hundred percent because my

830
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 3: brother had shown up as fully related to me. I

831
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 3: then confessed that I had changed my brother's relationship to me,

832
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 3: thinking it was a mistake at first. When I reverted

833
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 3: my brother's status to its default, it read half brother

834
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 3: maternal side.

835
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 2: Only his whole family has fallen apart.

836
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 3: I mean this man was so in dinny that he

837
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 3: changed the results.

838
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, And at that.

839
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 3: Moment, after two hours of frustration, I finally broke down.

840
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 3: The man who had been my father all my life

841
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 3: and my closest family was not biologically related to me.

842
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 3: By five am, I was beyond exhausted, ashamed for clinging

843
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,399
Speaker 3: so desperately to denial. My dad told me he'd known

844
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 3: from the first result. I shared that he likely wasn't

845
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 3: my biological father, not because he ever suspected it, but

846
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 3: because he trusted the science. He said, the hardest part

847
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 3: of finding out with me was watching me struggle so

848
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 3: hard to rewrite the truth. I mean that's because like

849
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 3: that's all you've ever known.

850
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like this is this is your whole life,

851
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: and now you're you're it's like it's like op he

852
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 2: wants to preserve the the lie. Yeah, the like over.

853
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 3: Thirty year old life.

854
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,320
Speaker 2: Oh it sucks.

855
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:59,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. The next twenty four hours, sleepless and emotionally raw,

856
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 3: were filled with some of the most heart wrenching conversations

857
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,720
Speaker 3: of my life. My mother shared with me that early

858
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 3: in her marriage to my father, she had a very

859
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 3: brief affair. It was only one time. She believes she'd

860
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 3: taken all precautions, and with no reason to suspect otherwise,

861
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 3: she'd put that chapter behind her.

862
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 2: I mean, taking all precautions would be to.

863
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 3: Not have to that affair, Like I took all precautions

864
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 3: the safest. She went on to have three children, all

865
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 3: resembling my father, and there was never a hint of

866
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 3: doubt from anyone in our family. If not for this test,

867
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 3: this hidden piece of history would have remained for him unknown.

868
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 2: That's the key about covering your bases with an affair.

869
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: You gotta gotta find someone who looks like your actual partner.

870
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then no one will know well until a

871
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 3: really good genie.

872
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, or you just maybe banned DNA tests and say

873
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 2: they ruined families.

874
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 3: This past week has been extremely challenging, and the first

875
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 3: few days were dang near paralyze. But I'm choosing to

876
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 3: approach this journey with forgiveness and understanding, hoping to find

877
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 3: some positive takeaway from it all. My father and I

878
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 3: agreed that although unexpected, learning this truth together over the

879
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 3: phone was perhaps the best way I could have unfolded.

880
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 3: Our bond is unshaken, and we both know this revelation

881
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 3: doesn't change anything between us. As for my relationship with

882
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 3: my mom, we haven't always been very close, but over

883
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 3: the last seven years we've grown to understand each other

884
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 3: in ways I never thought possible. She married at twenty

885
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 3: had me at twenty one, navigated a difficult past and

886
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,760
Speaker 3: a very limited opportunity to explore her identity before starting

887
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 3: a family. As our bond deepened over the years, I

888
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 3: often found myself wishing I could go back in time,

889
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 3: befriend my younger mother and show her another life, one

890
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 3: similar to the one I am currently living and loving,

891
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 3: largely thanks to her. I understand that she made a

892
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 3: mistake at a young age, but nothing in me feels

893
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 3: anger towards her. I realized that in many ways, I'm

894
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 3: lucky the most in the situation. I have a supportive family,

895
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 3: my siblings included, who have been incredibly reassuring and are

896
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 3: fully behind whatever decision I make about reaching out to

897
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 3: my biological father. I've connected with a NPE non paternal

898
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 3: event therapist, and my first session is this Tuesday. I've

899
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 3: also ordered a few books written by others who've been

900
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 3: through a similar experience, hoping they offer some guidance. My

901
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 3: friends have rallied around me, and their support has been

902
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 3: a huge comfort. Sharing this here feels like an important

903
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 3: part of processing everything, a way to connect with a

904
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 3: community who can truly relate. I know there are still

905
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 3: many choices ahead, deciding whether to reach out to my

906
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 3: biological father, figuring out what to say if I do,

907
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 3: and finding a way to rekindle my joy for exploring

908
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 3: my ancestry.

909
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 2: Oh man, I feel like it's gonna be hard to

910
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 2: rekindle this choice. Yeah, he's like ivery word about finding

911
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 2: more skeletons in the closet, and then I'm like, oh, like,

912
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 2: maybe my grandparents aren't my actual grandparents. My great grandparents

913
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 2: aren't my actual great parent grand parents, my uncles are

914
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 2: my aunts, and.

915
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:05,959
Speaker 3: A lot of yeah, a lot that you could uncover.

916
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 2: Too much, too much, you know, maybe just maybe just

917
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 2: live lie similar I take the red pill? Or is

918
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 2: the blue pill? Which? Which pill of you do you get?

919
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 2: I never watch the matrix, the the matrix ending pill, Dakota,

920
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 2: which which the red pill? Don't take the red pill.

921
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,399
Speaker 3: I want to get to a place where I can

922
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:26,320
Speaker 3: carry on my grandmother's legacy, learning to appreciate each branch

923
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:29,359
Speaker 3: of my family tree, even if my connection to each

924
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 3: one is now so different. Thank you for giving me

925
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,919
Speaker 3: a space to share my story. And then comments, Hey.

926
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 1: It's John here, og host of the show. We're gonna

927
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 1: get back to these juicy stories. But here's a quick

928
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

929
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 3: Wild black Cat says, as someone who believes in science

930
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 3: and data, it's painful to realize how hard I fought

931
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 3: against accepting the truth. If you knew right away in

932
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 3: a similar situation, please know I just wasn't capable of that.

933
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:54,880
Speaker 3: When I read that, I thought you'd have been in

934
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 3: denial for months, if not years, not two hours.

935
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 2: Okay, this time of it.

936
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 3: It's a relief to everyone that everyone is understanding and supportive.

937
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 3: I wish you the best going forward. Maybe in time

938
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 3: you could come back and update us on which decisions

939
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 3: you made and how everything turned out.

940
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 2: Do we have an update?

941
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 3: Well, Opie says, I was still trying to find some

942
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 3: random excuses for a few days, but I have fully

943
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 3: accepted it now. I just wasn't sure if people would think,

944
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 3: how could she not believe the science? It's right there.

945
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 3: And also I've been saying that Opie is a man

946
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:26,359
Speaker 3: full time. Sorry, uh, maybe that is just me still

947
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 3: being hard on myself. So thank you for the reminder

948
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 3: to be gentle. There isn't up.

949
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 2: Oh three and a half months later.

950
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 3: We actually have a lot more to this story.

951
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 2: Oh wow, how much more.

952
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 3: We're a little bit over halfway through it.

953
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, three and a half

954
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 2: months later, get into it.

955
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 3: Let's jump in I want to thank everyone who read

956
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 3: and commented on my last post. The past four months

957
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 3: have been an absolute whirlwind and so much has happened.

958
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 3: I promised a few of you an update, so here

959
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 3: it is. Since Halloween of last year, I've been very

960
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 3: intentional about my NPE journey non parent entity theory therapist therapy. Okay,

961
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 3: in November I started seeing a therapist who specializes in

962
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 3: NPE experiences and oh event is that what I said?

963
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,959
Speaker 3: And she's been incredible. I feel incredibly fortunate. Not only

964
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 3: did I find a therapist who's a great fit for me,

965
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,320
Speaker 3: but she has also been through the exact same experience

966
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 3: I had.

967
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 2: That's awesome. I mean, not for her, but she's like,

968
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: I've been through and through this.

969
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 3: And I came out on the other side.

970
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 2: A therapist.

971
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 3: She's helped me navigate both the emotional impact and the

972
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 3: logistical aspects of my discovery. As for reaching out to

973
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 3: my biological father, I ultimately had my mom delivered the

974
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 3: news to him and gauge his reaction for context. I

975
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 3: actually grew up around my biological father and have siblings

976
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 3: without knowing our connection. None of us did no, no,

977
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 3: because this was Remember when op was like, Oh, yeah,

978
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 3: it says that my my like suedo grandparents for pseudo

979
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 3: pseudo grandparents were my grandparents. I think that's what it said.

980
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 3: So I feel like maybe the pseudo grandparents had a

981
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 3: kid and that's the fall this. So the pseudo had

982
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 3: a son that the mother.

983
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: So really it was it was a family friend right

984
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 2: that the mother was was sleeping with.

985
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 3: I think that's what we're learning. His parents, my biological grandparents,

986
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 3: were best friends with my grandparents, my mom's parents, and

987
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 3: he and my mom grew up together.

988
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:43,760
Speaker 2: Wow. Oh wow, they're kind of like it's kind of cute, honestly,

989
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:45,799
Speaker 2: Like as far as the fair partners go, Like, that's

990
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,359
Speaker 2: kind of the cutest one. You're like childhood sweethearts.

991
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess.

992
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:54,879
Speaker 2: There are a way worse affairs to have. You could

993
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 2: you know, you could have an affair with the stripper

994
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 2: that's not that cute, but have an affair with your

995
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 2: childhood best friend that's cute.

996
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 3: Hey, they have lives too, Sam strippers.

997
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 2: I know they have, but it's not cute. Maybe it's hot,

998
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 2: but it's not cute.

999
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 3: Though he wasn't technically a stranger, we hadn't spoken in

1000
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 3: years when my mom told him the truth. He was

1001
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 3: completely shocked, but also happy, and immediately expressed a strong

1002
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 3: desire to talk on my turn. A few days later,

1003
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 3: I called him and explained how I discovered the truth.

1004
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 3: We caught up a bit, but mostly he cried and

1005
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 3: expressed deep shame for what had happened, particularly what he

1006
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 3: had done to my dad. He told me he wanted

1007
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,399
Speaker 3: to speak with my dad to make amends, and he did.

1008
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 3: My Biodad reached out to you.

1009
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 2: Couldn't start that conversation.

1010
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 3: He dude, I know, I never told you for like.

1011
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 2: So much in common, like we kind of like the

1012
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 2: same girls, you.

1013
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 3: Know, Like I think your son is cool. I mean, sorry,

1014
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 3: I think my son is cool.

1015
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think our son is cool. Yeah yeah, I mean.

1016
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 3: I've an awkward conversation.

1017
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 2: It's definitely an awkward conversation. But maybe if it's done way,

1018
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 2: all you guys could be like, bros, you can't do that,

1019
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 2: oh right anyway, bros.

1020
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,279
Speaker 3: I don't think that makes sense anymore. Now you've gone

1021
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 3: too far away and it don't make sense. What about

1022
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 3: just bros? And he did. My bio dad reached out

1023
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:19,280
Speaker 3: and they had a few conversations. He expressed his regret

1024
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:22,280
Speaker 3: and reassured my dad that he would never and could

1025
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 3: never replace him. He's like, hey, dude, Like, I don't

1026
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 3: want you to feel a friend by me. You know, I'm.

1027
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 2: Just I'm just a guy like everyone.

1028
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 3: Guy who had spiced to sleep with your wife.

1029
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:34,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's way better friends with her and has

1030
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 2: known her for longer, you know. But like, don't be intimidated.

1031
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 3: Despite the pain, my dad has shown an incredible amount

1032
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 3: of grace and has been open to having a relationship

1033
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 3: with my bio dad. Wow, it's not entirely surprising, giving

1034
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 3: that they were actually friends long ago before and during

1035
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:54,240
Speaker 3: my parents' marriage. Out. Though they hadn't spoken in years,

1036
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 3: they were never truly strangers. I've made it clear to

1037
00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 3: both of them that whatever relationship they choose to have

1038
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:03,240
Speaker 3: is entirely to them. Their journey of forgiveness is separate

1039
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 3: from mine, and I support whatever path they take. After Christmas,

1040
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 3: I saw my bio dad in person while home for

1041
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 3: the holidays. They drove a few hours to come see

1042
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 3: me and my mother. The reunion was a bit last minute,

1043
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 3: but I knew they were eager, and I realized that

1044
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 3: dragging it out would only make me more anxious. My

1045
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 3: dad initially struggled with the timing. He felt it was

1046
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 3: happening too fast, but I reassured him that this was

1047
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 3: the right decision for me and my own healing. Eventually

1048
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:33,879
Speaker 3: he supported me. The reunion itself was surreal. I saw

1049
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 3: my bio dad, his wife whom he met long after

1050
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 3: I was conceived, my two half siblings, and my bio grandparents.

1051
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 3: Though I had known them as a teenager, the dynamic

1052
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:48,840
Speaker 3: was understandably different. They had all cried, hugged me, and

1053
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,280
Speaker 3: expressed how happy they were to have me in their lives.

1054
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 2: So it's like adopting a child as an adult. Yeah,

1055
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 2: it's like a weird It's like it's like it's it's cute,

1056
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 2: I think, but it's but it's just so odd.

1057
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 3: But also it's it's interesting because I mean, Ope even

1058
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,320
Speaker 3: says it. Though I had known them as a teenager,

1059
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 3: the dynamic is different, like he's she's she's learned or

1060
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 3: she's known these people kind of her whole life, but

1061
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 3: now is being reintroduced to them.

1062
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 2: Which I think is weirder than like, because often when

1063
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 2: this story happens, it's like this, yeah.

1064
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 3: Super family, you don't know them.

1065
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 2: Yes, And then you're being introduced to this person for

1066
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,800
Speaker 2: the first time, and it's like, oh, that's my biological father.

1067
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:37,760
Speaker 2: Yeah right, and and and I think it's much easier

1068
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 2: to apply that new frame to someone you've never met.

1069
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 2: To someone you already know. It's like, oh, like, I

1070
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 2: know you. You just know me as your your mommy's friend,

1071
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 2: but I'm I'm actually your dad. Like that. I think

1072
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:54,239
Speaker 2: that's a hard switch I agree to take on.

1073
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 3: They all cried, hugged me, and expressed how happy they

1074
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 3: were to have me in their lives. I ate, drank,

1075
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,320
Speaker 3: and tried to keep things as things as natural as possible.

1076
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 3: We even went out to dinner and toasted to everyone's

1077
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:09,239
Speaker 3: strength in handling this news. The last toast was to

1078
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 3: my dad, which completely choked me up. I cried when

1079
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,280
Speaker 3: they left. One thing that came up when I shared

1080
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,480
Speaker 3: my regional DNA results is that my biodad got confirmation

1081
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,360
Speaker 3: that his grandpa was not his father's father.

1082
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 2: Wait wait, wait runs in the family.

1083
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,439
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, what it goes so hot?

1084
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 2: Wait? Oh multi generations of people just have an affairs.

1085
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:36,879
Speaker 3: Their family has been speculating for a while that there

1086
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 3: was a DNA discrepancy, and my results just proved it

1087
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 3: and allowed my biodad to tell his dad that his

1088
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 3: father was not biologically related to him. That's a whole

1089
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 3: other story that has come undone because of my discovery.

1090
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 3: Since the visit, my biodad and I have spoken a

1091
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 3: few times, but everything has been very low pressure. After

1092
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 3: such an emotional and intense November and December, we all

1093
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,719
Speaker 3: felt the need to settle into our new reality. The

1094
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 3: start of the year has been about finding normalcy again,

1095
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 3: and it's been refreshing to deal with everyday life while

1096
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 3: continuing to work through things with my therapist. The world

1097
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 3: is only getting weirder and weirder as time passes, and

1098
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:19,879
Speaker 3: I'm trying to keep my discovery in perspective to see

1099
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 3: it as a blip in my experience that makes me

1100
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:27,760
Speaker 3: interesting and challenges me to rethink my understanding of connection, relationships,

1101
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:31,280
Speaker 3: and family. With the continuous support of my friends and family,

1102
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,839
Speaker 3: I don't think it needs to be anything more than

1103
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 3: that right now. Moving forward, I want to wait until

1104
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 3: the summertime to start digging back into my ancestry account.

1105
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 3: My goal is to continue to help my father build

1106
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 3: out a tree even if my DNA won't be an

1107
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 3: asset there by the way you would be an asset

1108
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 3: to us if you listen to full episodes of stories

1109
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 3: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio,

1110
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:59,240
Speaker 3: and search up Okay, storytime. And that is the almost

1111
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 3: end of the story. There's a little bit left to it.

1112
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:05,439
Speaker 2: I love how we're uncovering so much, oh much, It's

1113
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 2: very interesting. I just feel like it is to be

1114
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:13,880
Speaker 2: the person in it feels completely destabilizing.

1115
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. To to one find out that, like

1116
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 3: your whole life is kind of a lie, and that

1117
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 3: the family friend that you've had for years, thirty years.

1118
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 2: Or at least, I mean that ended up cute, Yeah,

1119
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 2: but not every layer is going to end up that cue.

1120
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 3: But then to also learn that, like two things deeper,

1121
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 3: you're a great grandpa or your grandpa. No, yeah, you're

1122
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 3: a great grandpa also, isn't you know? Just like you

1123
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 3: keep destabilizing every Yeah, tough.

1124
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,160
Speaker 2: But we got a little bit more to this story.

1125
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 3: Yes, I will keep working on my mother's tree, and

1126
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 3: I have agreed to help my biodad do more research

1127
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 3: on his family. You're just helping everyone since he doesn't

1128
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 3: know who his real grandfather is. I want to find

1129
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 3: ways to relate to all three trees, even if they

1130
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 3: all feel slightly different to me. In the meantime, I

1131
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 3: will work to gather health history and other info from

1132
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 3: my living biofamily so that I could give my real

1133
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 3: health history for the first time to my doctors. Thanks

1134
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,800
Speaker 3: again to everyone who has followed along and offered support.

1135
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 3: Feel free to message if you're going through something similar

1136
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 3: and want.

1137
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 2: To talk about.

1138
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story.

1139
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 2: Wow wow, wow wow.

1140
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 3: We were kind of connected to the first story in

1141
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 3: that we had. You know, all these secrets come out

1142
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:28,000
Speaker 3: one after another.

1143
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:32,680
Speaker 2: I know, I know the beauty of some DNA paternity

1144
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 2: deaths and the beauty of some tunnel buddies, you know, true, true, true.

1145
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 2: I think that's the love story that we need to

1146
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 2: really talk about, is the tunnel buddies that were exposed

1147
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 2: and the romance that's butting, the butting broman butting bromance butt.

1148
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 2: That's where that story ends. So if you love us,

1149
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 2: make sure to subscribe.

1150
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.