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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two Case Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 2: We have some ancient wisdom in the stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: If you want to hear the wisdom from two old

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Speaker 1: heads that know more than they know what to do with,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to wait for a quick message from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors for the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 3: My sister in law was cheating on her partner. I

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Speaker 3: secretly helped him move out.

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Speaker 1: All right, his stuff on the curb pooh.

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Speaker 3: About five years ago, I moved about fifteen hours away

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Speaker 3: from my hometown for a job. Shortly after moving, I

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Speaker 3: met my now wife, Becca, yep, wife Becca. A few

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Speaker 3: years ago I had a buddy Jr. From back home

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Speaker 3: come stay with me.

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Speaker 2: Buddy Jr.

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Speaker 3: And OPII are living together, and while here he met

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Speaker 3: my wife's sister, Maggie.

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Speaker 2: There we go, so Jr. And Maggie hit it off.

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Speaker 3: They pretty quickly started dating. Maggie has a daughter from

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Speaker 3: a previous relationship. Daughter's dad is very much in the picture.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from vast Base twenty two

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Speaker 3: seventy three and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash okay, storytime subreddits. So almost

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Speaker 3: a year ago, Maggie and JR. Moved in together.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's getting serious. Getten roll serious.

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Speaker 3: And speaking of which, how's how's how's the chart looking,

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Speaker 3: FAMMI chart is looking good?

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Speaker 2: There we go.

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Speaker 1: We got JR and Maggie in a relationship. Maggie has

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Speaker 1: a daughter and the daughter has a.

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Speaker 2: Dad that is JR. Bingo. So Maggie is like the

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Speaker 2: sister in law right, opis sister.

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Speaker 1: Maggie is a Becca, Yes, sister law, Becca's sister. Yes,

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Speaker 1: there we go, which is the wife of Op.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 3: So at the time sister in law, Maggie was living

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Speaker 3: with her parents, but she could not afford rent on

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Speaker 3: her own. Things seemed to be going along well. It

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Speaker 3: is a long story. But almost two months ago JR.

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Speaker 3: Got pretty irrefutable proof that Maggie was cheating on him.

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Speaker 1: Ooh oh no, oh no, what was the proof? What

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Speaker 1: was the proof? Did he hear? Uh moans the walls.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, that would not be fun proof.

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Speaker 1: He picks.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's probably worse, which.

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Speaker 1: Is where I would I would rather see spicy picks

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Speaker 1: than here, moans to the wall.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I guess it's like if it's like feeling it

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Speaker 2: live and direction.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, like everyone knows. The live experience is more,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot, it's more. It's just more.

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Speaker 3: You don't you don't want the live in concert of

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Speaker 3: your partner cheating on you. Let's do the pre recorded. Also,

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Speaker 3: the dude that that thing was spitting out more than

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Speaker 3: Maggie was.

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Speaker 1: Oh, Maggie, sorry.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, our printer was was spitting prints. I can't help it.

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Speaker 3: So of course he was angry, depressed, and overall distraught.

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Speaker 3: He could not deal with confronting her, but he could

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Speaker 3: also not deal with living her, living with her, the

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Speaker 3: classic dilemma. Yeah, he talked to me and wanted my

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Speaker 3: help to get away. So I reach out to my

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Speaker 3: network of people who are not mutual friends of Becca

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Speaker 3: and I to get him a place to stay. Becca

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Speaker 3: sister in law, Maggie, and Maggie's daughter, and my mother

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Speaker 3: in law were going out of town to visit mother

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Speaker 3: in law's mom a few weeks.

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Speaker 2: After he found out.

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Speaker 3: Dude, op just confuses people the most confusing way possible.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law's mom, dude, come on, uh so, randma,

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Speaker 3: grandmon law, come on, grandmon law.

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Speaker 2: I had a work friend with a rent house. I

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Speaker 2: helped JR.

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Speaker 3: Pack his stuff, which is like ninety percent of the apartment,

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Speaker 3: and he moved out. He sent an email to Maggie

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Speaker 3: about why he left and moved out. He left a

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Speaker 3: check for rent utilities through the end of March when

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Speaker 3: their lease is up. Wow, great timing, dang, and informed

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Speaker 3: the landlord that he was not renewing super quick.

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Speaker 2: Pause here, Was this a good move? Yes? Or no?

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Speaker 2: To just like leave email?

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Speaker 1: I mean he wants to get out of I mean

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Speaker 1: I feel like he did a good job of like

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Speaker 1: making sure all of his bases are covered. Yes, in

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Speaker 1: terms of not screwing her over completely, but saying hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to be here anymore.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think I think having a conversation would be good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because we've had a situations where we've discovered irrefutable evidence

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Speaker 1: but then turns out it was refutable that is true.

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Speaker 1: So I think usually just having a conversation first saying hey,

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Speaker 1: this is what I found out. I'm gonna leave, and

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Speaker 1: just giving the person a chance to respond, especially if

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Speaker 1: it's not like an abusive relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that would be okay. Op, he says.

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Speaker 3: Maggie got the email and called JR numerous times. While

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Speaker 3: on the trip, my wife called me and asked what

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Speaker 3: was going on and where JR was. I told her

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Speaker 3: that JR moved out and he was safe, but I

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Speaker 3: will not tell her where he is. They got back

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Speaker 3: and Maggie flipped out about all of the stuff that

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Speaker 3: JR took. My wife was quite angry and demanded to

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Speaker 3: know where JR was. I kept telling her that he

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Speaker 3: is safe, but I am not telling her where he

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Speaker 3: is at the last month has been tense and my

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Speaker 3: wife has begged me and made threats to know where

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Speaker 3: JR is.

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Speaker 1: This is like, I wonder what the threats are. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like like no head for a week.

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Speaker 2: I'm moving out and I'm not telling you.

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Speaker 1: That's a little bit more than mine. Yeah, I don't know, dude.

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Speaker 3: So she has even tried using my phone to impersonate

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Speaker 3: me to call JR and get information out of it.

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Speaker 1: Hey, that that feels like a violation of the trust

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Speaker 1: of the relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, it's it's checking the phone. It's like basically

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Speaker 3: same getting into the phone. I don't know that maybe worse.

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Speaker 3: I have since changed my past code. She says, we

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Speaker 3: are married. This is affecting my family. I deserve to know.

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Speaker 3: Tell me why I need to know, but I refuse.

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Speaker 3: She has even talked about this being divorceable. So am

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Speaker 3: I the ahole. We have edits, we have irrelevant comments,

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Speaker 3: we have updates. I'm pretty sure we've got so much

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Speaker 3: more left in the sword to dissect, but we we

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Speaker 3: have to answer this question.

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Speaker 1: Is OP the I don't think so. I think he's

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Speaker 1: protecting He's protecting his friend Jr's privacy. I do think

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Speaker 1: JR should have had one final conversation with Maggie just saying, hey,

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Speaker 1: this is what I know. But I don't think that's

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Speaker 1: Ope's problem to deal with. I think all he's doing

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Speaker 1: is protecting the privacy of his friend. Doesn't sound like

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Speaker 1: JR stole anything that isn't his.

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Speaker 3: You know, maybe that's debatable because like he's they said

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Speaker 3: he took ninety percent of stuff and Maggie was freaking out.

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Speaker 3: So I imagine there could be some crossover or something

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Speaker 3: that could have been a conversation meaning.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which again, like that's why Jay, I feel

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Speaker 1: like JR not saying anything yes about like what he's doing,

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Speaker 1: what he's taking, Like, I mean, you can't just if you,

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Speaker 1: let's say you co own certain stuff yep, and you

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Speaker 1: just leave. I mean you're effectively stealing whatever percentage ownership

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Speaker 1: that Maggie may have had, like if they bought a

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Speaker 1: couch together or whatever. Yeah, but all that to say

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Speaker 1: is it Ope's issue? Like No, I think I think

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Speaker 1: him protecting the privacy of JR.

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Speaker 2: Is okay.

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Speaker 1: And I think the fact the white is being so

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Speaker 1: so snoopy on the phone and like threatening divorce that

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Speaker 1: feels really unhealthy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm definitely seeing some red flags. But guys,

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Speaker 3: we got an edit. We've got some more more info.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: So number one, my wife knows why JR. Left, so

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Speaker 3: she knows about the cheating, which is good. Maggie has

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Speaker 3: admitted to the cheating since since he left. Point number three,

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Speaker 3: my wife denies knowing about the cheating, and I do

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Speaker 3: believe her. Historically, Maggie and Becka are not that close.

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Speaker 3: Prior to Jara moving here, we would see Maggie once

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Speaker 3: every maybe three months ish. Since Jarah moved, we see

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Speaker 3: her a lot more because JR and I regularly organized

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Speaker 3: get togethers, which is why my wife's reaction is so

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Speaker 3: surprising to me. It's like, hey, you weren't even like

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Speaker 3: that close. Why are you unreasonably defending her?

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess it makes me wonder And this is

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Speaker 1: conspiracy theory, but there's something that op his wife is

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Speaker 1: hiding that she think will be exposed by you know, JR.

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Speaker 2: Leaving. Did Maggie poison the well? You know, she's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I cheated, but x y Z And that's kind of

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Speaker 2: painting a reason why she's more in her corner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, Yeah, hey, your family or like

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Speaker 1: I'm even wondering, like, you know, Maggie and Becca went

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Speaker 1: on some girl's bachelor trip and they both did something

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Speaker 1: naughty and Maggie like, Becca's worried that JR Is going

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Speaker 1: to tell Op. I don't know that. I feel like

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Speaker 1: that it's like that's a conspiracy theory.

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Speaker 2: But it could be that that would explain the logic, yeah, or.

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Speaker 1: And it'd be like it just feels like Opie's what

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Speaker 1: I guess. All I'm thinking right now is Op's wife

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Speaker 1: seems to have something to lose, which is why she's

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Speaker 1: acting so sus and I'm wondering what that is.

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Speaker 3: Point number four of the stuff JR took was only

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Speaker 3: his stuff. In fact, a lot of stuff he left

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Speaker 3: is also a stuff. So we left some of his

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Speaker 3: stuff behind, even other than gadgets. He left all the

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Speaker 3: kitchen things despite it being one hundred percent his. He

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Speaker 3: left all of the stuff in my niece's room, even

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Speaker 3: though he had paid for a lot of it. And

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Speaker 3: there was no consensus. OPI basically received majority, not the ale.

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Speaker 1: Which I think, not the holes I think. I think

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Speaker 1: we're in greement here.

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Speaker 3: I agree, I agree, we got some relevant comments here.

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Speaker 3: So how did JR find out about Maggie's cheating, Opie

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Speaker 3: says text messages with her affair partner. Maggie freely admits

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Speaker 3: she was cheating, even admitted it in voicemails and text

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Speaker 3: messages to JR.

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Speaker 2: After he sent the email. I wonder what no dispute

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Speaker 2: about that? Why was she so?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I guess that's one green flag. Like if

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Speaker 1: you get a cheat, freely admit it.

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Speaker 3: Just like okay, yeah, which so often we see people

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Speaker 3: just like try and it's like the jig is up.

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Speaker 2: You might as well at least be honest about it now.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, so hey, you know, one gold star for

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Speaker 1: me maybe like a.

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Speaker 2: Point star, I mean, like one of the little arms.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, did Jr. Take some of Maggie's stuff when he

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Speaker 3: moved out? Opie says, none of what we moved out

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Speaker 3: was her stuff. I helped him move in. It was

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Speaker 3: all his. There were big ticket items like the bed,

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Speaker 3: living room, TV couches, dining room table, but it was

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Speaker 3: all stuff that he had before he moved here. Much

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Speaker 3: of it he had before they even started dating. And

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Speaker 3: I guess that does leave her. She comes home, she's like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: well now I have no bed, I have no so

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Speaker 3: again maybe another point in the conversation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean I think it's it's like she

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Speaker 1: might have agreed, like, hey, yeah, this is all your stuff,

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Speaker 1: but the fact that it's just all gone, there's an

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Speaker 1: emotional real Yeah. Yeah, she can plan a little bit more. Also,

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Speaker 1: just I mean like thinking about the kid, like the

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Speaker 1: kid is is uh and the kid comes back, he's like, Mom,

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Speaker 1: where's all of our crabit?

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Speaker 2: Why do we live in a box? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like just thinking of the kid too.

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Speaker 1: You know, you want to you want to create a

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Speaker 1: nice transition for the kid.

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Speaker 3: Commentary Number one says, I get the feeling that there

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Speaker 3: is info being left out, but I can't really put

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Speaker 3: my finger on what it is. I think so too,

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Speaker 3: So I'm gonna ask a few questions. Who is Maggie

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Speaker 3: cheating with? How old is Maggie's daughter? What's the long

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Speaker 3: term plan here? This guy is your best friend and

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Speaker 3: you just plan to keep him secret forever? Why is

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Speaker 3: your wife so invested? Does she feel that she got

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Speaker 3: closer with her sister since gr was there to get

238
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Speaker 3: everyone together, and now that he is gone, she fears

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Speaker 3: that she'll lose this closeness with her So maybe one

240
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Speaker 3: reason why she's defending her so much. Please ask your wife,

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Speaker 3: what would she say or do if she did know

242
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Speaker 3: where Jar is she plans to bully him into coming back?

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Speaker 3: Or what if Maggie was so dependent on this relationship?

244
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Speaker 3: Why did she cheat? Did she have a history of cheating?

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Speaker 3: And Opie responds to that.

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Speaker 1: Interrogation, let's go okay, So who was the person a coworker?

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Speaker 3: The affair partner was a coworker? Well, Jr. Is trying

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Speaker 3: to figure that out. He's considering whether he's gonna stay

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Speaker 3: here or move back home. He's not able to remain

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Speaker 3: in hiding forever, but right now this is the situation.

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Speaker 3: I suspect that in the next threeish months for him

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Speaker 3: to figure out what his plan is going to be.

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Speaker 3: In the meantime, I am not saying where he is

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Speaker 3: to my wife. Maggie was always the kid who could

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Speaker 3: not get her crap together.

256
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Speaker 2: It annoyed Beca to no end. With JayR. Moving in,

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Speaker 2: it felt like Becca was getting her crap together.

258
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Speaker 1: So maybe she's worried that, like Maggie's gonna fault like

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Speaker 1: fault pieces.

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Speaker 2: And maybe that's also going to be her problem too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is That feels plausible. And so finally someone

262
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Speaker 1: took control of this mess of a person. I had

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Speaker 1: some rest and now it's like, oh, I'm gonna have

264
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Speaker 1: to go back into it.

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Speaker 2: Back to it. Yeah, especially with the breakup.

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Speaker 3: Now she is afraid things are going to revert. My

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Speaker 3: in laws are frustrated by that possibility too. They like JR.

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Speaker 3: And want to talk to JR. To see what they

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Speaker 3: can do to salvage the situation.

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Speaker 2: Everyone wants JR.

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Speaker 1: Back. It was like, oh, my god, you help this

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Speaker 1: family so much. Please you fumbled the back, We'll pay you.

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Speaker 1: Just take care of her.

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Speaker 2: And what's the price. Jr.

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Speaker 3: Is one of the nicest guys in the world and

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Speaker 3: does not want to upset them. Ultimately, they feel like

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Speaker 3: they have seen Maggie actually be a functioning adult and

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Speaker 3: are deeply afraid if JR. Leaves that she will just

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Speaker 3: stop doing that. Maggie's daughter is four years old. OPI

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Speaker 3: on the possibility of his wife cheating and Maggie covering

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Speaker 3: up for her.

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Speaker 1: That's what we said. I feel like that this is

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Speaker 1: more of a stretch, yeah, than but hey, hey.

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Speaker 2: I love a good hail Mary because when it lands, and.

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Speaker 1: When at lands and lands, it.

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Speaker 2: Feels so good for a half second, and it's so bad.

287
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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh man, why am I right?

288
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Speaker 2: We don't want it to be true.

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Speaker 3: So Opie response, My wife and I have a life

290
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Speaker 3: three sixty. We work in office buildings next to each other.

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Speaker 3: That is how we met, and when we're not working,

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Speaker 3: we spend most of our time together. Could she be cheating, absolutely,

293
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Speaker 3: but it would be pretty difficult for her to do that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, as Jeff Goldbloom says, life finds away life,

295
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Speaker 1: so it is cheating, you know.

296
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Speaker 3: If OPI responds to a downvoted comment regarding getting involved

297
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Speaker 3: with JayR situation. I'm guessing maybe like getting after him

298
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Speaker 3: for like hiding in and protecting him.

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Speaker 2: Opie says.

300
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Speaker 3: On top of that, I think you got too involved

301
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Speaker 3: in a situation that doesn't really concern you. Opie says,

302
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Speaker 3: the situation does concern me. First, this is outside of

303
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Speaker 3: my brother, the man closest to me in the whole world. Second,

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Speaker 3: he has asked for my help in the situation. Third,

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Speaker 3: he was with Maggie at least in part at my

306
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Speaker 3: prompting and suggestion after they met via me. I'm not

307
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Speaker 3: saying you can't refer him to open housing or to

308
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Speaker 3: help him pack up, but I think helping him facilitate

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Speaker 3: all of the pre planning makes you look a little

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Speaker 3: bit of an a hole. You can't throw your hands

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Speaker 3: up now and say it's none of my business and

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Speaker 3: not my place to tell when you quite literally made

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Speaker 3: it your business by executing this big butt secret plan

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Speaker 3: with him.

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Speaker 2: Everyone sucks. Here A just quick gut take on that,

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Speaker 2: do you?

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Speaker 1: I mean?

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Speaker 3: Maybe it's tough because there's so much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's like, do you if you tell

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Speaker 1: your wife then she tells Maggie exactly, you know.

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Speaker 2: I think she definitely would have done knowing her response.

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Speaker 1: Now, if a friend comes to you and asks, hey,

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Speaker 1: I need your help, but please don't tell your wife,

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Speaker 1: what do you think about that? Dude? It's it is tough.

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Speaker 3: It is I've honestly been buying time because it is.

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Speaker 3: It is really really hard.

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Speaker 1: I think you could say, like, hey, I won't tell

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Speaker 1: her right now, but I do have to tell, like

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Speaker 1: tell my wife eventually, and then you tell your wife

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Speaker 1: and your wife is probably mad that you didn't talk

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Speaker 1: about it earlier.

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Speaker 3: Maybe also you could be like, hey, listen, Jr's going

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Speaker 3: through some stuff. He has asked me to, uh, you know,

334
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Speaker 3: respect his privacy, and because of the situation, that's exactly

335
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Speaker 3: what I'm gonna do. So I'm I'm I'm telling you,

336
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Speaker 3: but I'm telling you I'm not going to tell you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I like. I like that. I like to tell I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to tell you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's what op could have done to not be

342
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Speaker 1: the a hole to.

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Speaker 3: His so Opie responds to this critique, I have no

344
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Speaker 3: idea where you see me saying it is quote unquote

345
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Speaker 3: none of my business. I am saying that I have

346
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,640
Speaker 3: been asked to keep Jay's location confidential and I am

347
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Speaker 3: just doing that. Another comment should know he be concerned

348
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,720
Speaker 3: about his niece's relationship with JR. Opie said, he did

349
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,600
Speaker 3: tell her goodbye. He did not tell her to lie.

350
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Speaker 3: Of all people here, she is not upset with him

351
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Speaker 3: being gone. Her dad poisoned the well and told her

352
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Speaker 3: to keep her distance from him, and she generally did.

353
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Speaker 3: She's not upset at all that he's gone. So maybe, yeah,

354
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Speaker 3: maybe they didn't even have a good relationship. She doesn't care,

355
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Speaker 3: but I guess it doesn't affect her too. Commenter says,

356
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Speaker 3: if Maggie and Becca were not close, then why is

357
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Speaker 3: Becca so angry? If she knows that Maggie cheated, why

358
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 3: she's threatened divorce over it? Does she condone Maggie's behavior.

359
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,400
Speaker 3: If she doesn't, then she would side with you and

360
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 3: respect Jayr's right to his privacy. At the very least,

361
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 3: she would stay out of it. This is why hooking

362
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 3: people up is so hard, because at some point you

363
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 3: will be choosing sides.

364
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,480
Speaker 2: Maggie cheated and will have to live with the consequences

365
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Speaker 2: of her action.

366
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,200
Speaker 3: And I would have a long talk with Becca about

367
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Speaker 3: her behavior and the stance that she took against you

368
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:05,560
Speaker 3: and Jr.

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00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 2: She chose a side with the cheater, which says a

370
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Speaker 2: lot about her character.

371
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 3: You might want to check out what's been going on

372
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 3: with Becca that she would choose the side of a cheater.

373
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Speaker 3: When you side with a cheater, you might be one yourself.

374
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,919
Speaker 3: Don't hold that against me. I don't agree with that.

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Speaker 1: She's siding with her sister, you know, And I feel

376
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 1: like that's different than like, yes, like not the best

377
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Speaker 1: move because she did cheat, and I don't think that's

378
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 1: the side sheat should take. But she sided with her sister.

379
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Speaker 3: I think, And maybe this wasn't mentioned. She should have

380
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,160
Speaker 3: at least been condemning her in this process, being like, listen,

381
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,240
Speaker 3: I know she f she totally fumbled the bag, but yeah,

382
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 3: you know.

383
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 2: So you're not the a hole. But Becca and Maggie are. JR.

384
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,880
Speaker 3: Ghosted Maggie and that needs to be respected. He doesn't

385
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,160
Speaker 3: want a confrontation and he doesn't want to hear her lies.

386
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,359
Speaker 3: As a friend, you don't have the right to portray

387
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 3: his confidence, not even to your wife.

388
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,119
Speaker 2: Hope you responds to this.

389
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,080
Speaker 3: If Maggie and Becca were not close, why was Beca

390
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,199
Speaker 3: so angry If she knows that Maggie cheated while she's

391
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Speaker 3: starting divorced.

392
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Speaker 2: Okay.

393
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 3: Becca's tendency went it's the fan is for for anything,

394
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,959
Speaker 3: is to go into fix it mode. She is an

395
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,919
Speaker 3: engineer by training. She gets incredibly angry at anything she

396
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 3: perceives as in the way of fixing the problem, issue, bug,

397
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 3: et cetera. It's her default belief that anything can be fixed.

398
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Speaker 3: So she thinks what Maggie did is very crappy, but

399
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,439
Speaker 3: there's no way to undo it, so why fix it

400
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,679
Speaker 3: on it? She thinks the only productive thing to do

401
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 3: now is try and fix it. She thinks she can

402
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 3: fix it. I am telling her, no, you can't, and

403
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,639
Speaker 3: in her mind, I am stopping her from fixing it,

404
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 3: so she's very pissed at me for that. We have

405
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,119
Speaker 3: an update a month and a half later. Whoa, I

406
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 3: am guessing we might have some reveals on where jer Jr.

407
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 2: Is at.

408
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:44,400
Speaker 3: Maybe some communication finally starts happening between JR and Maggie.

409
00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 1: Which would be great. I mean, I'm curious what Chat

410
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 1: thinks about OHP not telling his wife Jr's secrets.

411
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe a poll tell whife or n Yeah, yeah,

412
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 3: I'm very curious too, and also quick thoughts on You know,

413
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 3: Opie has the reasoning for like why the wife is

414
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 3: basically like, I guess frustrated with him, but I feel like, yes,

415
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 3: we have the logic and reasoning behind it, but it's

416
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 3: not a good behavior. It's not it's not it's not

417
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 3: worthy of threatening divorces. Like, oh, you're getting in the

418
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 3: way of me fixing the problem. That's that's how you

419
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 3: are perceiving.

420
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think he is like trying to

421
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 1: give her the benefit of the doubt as much as possible. Yeah,

422
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 1: but I do think it's it's pretty toxic behavior on

423
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 1: the wife's part, and like, although OPI understands it, I

424
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 1: don't know if it should be excused.

425
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 3: But we're gonna get into this update a month and

426
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 3: a half later. By the way, this happened just a

427
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 3: week ago. This is this is fresh a lot of

428
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 3: the pole. So weeks after the post, Becca let it

429
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,919
Speaker 3: slip that I knew where JR.

430
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 2: Is located.

431
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,919
Speaker 3: This caused a slew of intimidation from Maggie and my

432
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,320
Speaker 3: mother in law. I refuse to tell him where he is.

433
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 3: Some choice words were exchanged between Maggie and.

434
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: I don't think that Becca Opie's wife did it accidentally?

435
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:02,679
Speaker 1: I think she leaked it on with.

436
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,360
Speaker 2: Us, yeah, let it slip.

437
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think it was intentional. That's pretty messed

438
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 1: up on the wife's part.

439
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I told Maggie she's not allowed in my

440
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 2: house until she apologizes to me.

441
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 3: She refuses, So I have not seen her or my

442
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 3: in laws in about a month. Since the end of

443
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,199
Speaker 3: March twenty twenty five, Maggie has been living again with

444
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 3: my in laws. Becca tried to get me to agree

445
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 3: to let Maggie and my niece move in.

446
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 1: I really don't think that's a good idea, but.

447
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 3: I refused based on the conflict that I have with

448
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 3: Maggie and Beca's behavior the last couple of months. Becca

449
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 3: explained to me why she has been behaving the way

450
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 3: she has the last couple of months. Okay, are we

451
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,159
Speaker 3: going to see is there a reason that explains Maggie

452
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 3: is cheating and all that.

453
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 2: Is it all going to be explained?

454
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 3: Like?

455
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course.

456
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 1: The thing though, is it's like it does it feel

457
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 1: like Becca is changing at a year of her behavior? No,

458
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 1: it's still I want to tell you why I have

459
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: been like being so terrible The last couple of months

460
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 1: and will continue to be. Yeah.

461
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like it's giving the same thing as before. Op.

462
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, my wife, just like anytime someone gets

463
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 3: in the way of her fixing the problem, she gets mad.

464
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, that's not good.

465
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 1: That shouldn't be excused.

466
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, Maggie's X has said that if Maggie moves back

467
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 3: in with my in laws, he's gonna go for full

468
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 3: custody of my niece h so that he's gonna take

469
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 3: the kid away from not just Maggie, but the whole

470
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 3: side of the family.

471
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,119
Speaker 2: Right has the potential.

472
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like, ca can he do that? I mean,

473
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 1: is it? I feel like living with your parents isn't

474
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:36,440
Speaker 1: necessarily hostile.

475
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 2: I guess. I guess you could argue she doesn't have,

476
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 2: you know, a place to live like I have. I

477
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:42,880
Speaker 2: have everything. Yeah.

478
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 3: Now, the neighborhood where my in laws live in is rough,

479
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 3: and there's a fair bit of conflict between Maggie and

480
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 3: my father in law since moving back in. My niece's

481
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,959
Speaker 3: dad's lawyer, so the dad has reached out and indicated

482
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 3: that they are going for full custody. Becca is blaming

483
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 3: me and Jr. For I mean, that's not fair at all,

484
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 3: is dude. I don't know Maggie created this situation. It

485
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 3: feels like this is not a stable environment for a kid. No,

486
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 3: it doesn't feel that Becca is that great of with

487
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 3: this story.

488
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 1: I'm not getting a lot of confidence that she's a

489
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 1: grand mom.

490
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 3: Opie says she is convinced that if they knew he

491
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 3: was leaving, they could work something out to keep them together,

492
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 3: or at least keep Maggie in the apartment.

493
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 2: I do not think this is the case at all.

494
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 3: By the way, you can listen to full episodes of

495
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 3: stories just like this, Ladies and gentlemen.

496
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 2: More hot tea for you.

497
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: Just going to.

498
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 2: Spotify, Apple our iHeart podcast app and search.

499
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 3: Okay, story time, we got two thousand episodes of juicy

500
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 3: stories to listen to.

501
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 2: But we're going to dive right in to the ending here.

502
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:44,400
Speaker 2: So JayR.

503
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 3: Is still processing, but was willing to speak to Maggie now.

504
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 3: So we're finally getting some communication. So he reached out

505
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 3: a couple of weeks ago. This past weekend, Maggie Jr.

506
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 3: Spoke via FaceTime. Maggie wanted an in person meeting, but

507
00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 3: Jay Are absolutely refused Maggie apologized and try to get Jr.

508
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 3: To reconsider for my daughter for the step daughter.

509
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 1: Jr refused, which understandable. Yeah, Jay is trying to preserve

510
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: his peace. Yeah, yeah, you didn't make this mess. And

511
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 1: they're not even married, like his daughter doesn't like him,

512
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 1: like yeah, I mean there's nothing, there's nothing for him.

513
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 3: It's all kind of like selfishly and Maggie's yes, I

514
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 3: feel like everything. Maggie had an emotional outburst. Jar hung

515
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 3: up on her. There's no plan for him to speak

516
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 3: to her again. We got some relevant comments. So was

517
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 3: Maggie on the least with Jr? Opie says she was

518
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,959
Speaker 3: on the least. She did not qualify for the apartment

519
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 3: on her own and cannot meet the qualifications. The situation

520
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 3: between my in laws and Maggie was contentious before she

521
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 3: moved in with Jar. I don't know if my niece's

522
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 3: dad will win the custody battle, but what I do

523
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 3: know is that one my niece has expressed being scared

524
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 3: at my in law's house.

525
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 2: Again. It was like, it's not unsafe neighborhood. They said,

526
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 2: oh that sucks.

527
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I mean, hey, that that I feel like

528
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: that's that's enough. That's a big indicator.

529
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:01,360
Speaker 2: Dude.

530
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 3: Number two, Maggie cannot afford to fight him on custody.

531
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 3: And three, generally, the quote unquote best interest of the

532
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 3: child is the standard in our state, and the living

533
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 3: situation with her.

534
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 1: Dad's a great standard.

535
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a good standard. It's a good standard.

536
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 3: And Opie says the living situation with her dad would

537
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 3: be significantly better. So I think what we're saying assuming

538
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 3: is right. He's kind of like economic much.

539
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 1: Better this kid away from Maggie.

540
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 2: I mean.

541
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 3: Commenter says, your wife is delusional. Do not let Maggie

542
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 3: move in. She will never move out. Commentary number two says,

543
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 3: Maggie fed up. Maggie continues to f up, and Becca

544
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 3: is trying to make Maggie's f ups your problem or Jr's,

545
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 3: and it's neither. You don't need to take care of

546
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 3: Maggie and her kid because she has an active father

547
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 3: who likely has a valid reason to be upset about

548
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 3: the current situation. Maybe Maggie having no custody will wake

549
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 3: her up because all of this is through her own actions.

550
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 2: She had a good guy and she cheated.

551
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 3: She can't take care of herself and her kid and

552
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 3: her parents have issues with her. The common denominator is Maggie. Yeah,

553
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 3: you need to have a conversation with your wife that

554
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 3: this isn't your problem and you don't want to make

555
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 3: it your problem. Becca needs to recognize that Maggie has

556
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: been her own worst enemy. If and Becca needs to

557
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: figure out if she wants to keep that BS drama

558
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 3: in her life, you can easily walk away and that's

559
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 3: a conversation that should come up. And comment your number

560
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 3: three closes us out, not the ahole, And honestly, you've

561
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 3: been the only.

562
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: Adult in the situation. Becca. Blaming you and JR.

563
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 3: For Maggie's custody issues is wild, considering Maggie's own choices

564
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 3: blew up her life, JR. Owes her nothing, and the

565
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 3: fact that she tried to emotionally manipulate him for your

566
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 3: daughter quote unquote.

567
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 2: Is so gross.

568
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 3: Like your daughter deserves love, not guilt leverage relationships. You

569
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 3: set boundaries, stuck to him, and protected someone who needed

570
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 3: space to heal. That's not portrayal, that's loyalty with a spine.

571
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean shadow pe for sticking to their guns

572
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 1: and sticking to their morals. Not easy when like it

573
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 1: seems like everyone is against you, making you feel crazy. Yes,

574
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: I'll be like wait, literally he's coming to Reddit because

575
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: he's like, wait, am I crazy? Am I doing something

576
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 1: wrong here?

577
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 2: Yes?

578
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: Because everyone in his life, like I mean, his wife, Becky, Maggie,

579
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 1: the parents are all being like, dude, what are you doing?

580
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 3: It's a strong reality to force it when you have literally,

581
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 3: you know, three, four, five, six people in your life

582
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:20,640
Speaker 3: all telling one thing.

583
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 2: It is hard tord you know, staying and you're like.

584
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: Wait, maybe I am wrong. But shout out Reddit for

585
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: for setting setting the record straight. Yeah, so we love

586
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 1: to see but that's where that story ends. That's right,

587
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: But not this episode. Not this episode. We got another

588
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 1: one for you're going to get it right into.

589
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 2: Give it to me.

590
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: My husband wants to have a baby with another woman.

591
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 2: Uh, it's gonna be our baby, babe.

592
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 1: Also trigger warning loss of pregnancy. But let's get into

593
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,679
Speaker 1: the story. So I'm honestly in a bit of a

594
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 1: shock after everything that has transpired in the past twenty

595
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: four hours and need some unbiased opinions to get me

596
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 1: through a little back. My significant mother and I have

597
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: been married for four years and together for seven he's

598
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: a civil engineer who is more so ambivalent to his career.

599
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 1: His real passions lie and his hobbies, our relationship and

600
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 1: his friends.

601
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 2: That's pretty cute, yea.

602
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: I am an emergency medicine doctor and this is my passion.

603
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from doctor Mick Puffy And

604
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: if you want us to get your own stories, go

605
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 1: to our slash Okay storytime. So I write it. So

606
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: I love my husband, my friends, and I have hobbies,

607
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 1: but my work is my passion.

608
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 2: Ooh.

609
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: Becoming a doctor was my dream since I was twelve,

610
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: and I have made it a reality. Now my issue.

611
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: About fourteen months ago, my husband was pushing me to

612
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 1: get pregnants. He wanted a baby.

613
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 2: Ooh. He was pushing and he was pumping.

614
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 1: I honestly did not ope. He did not want the pump.

615
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:50,199
Speaker 2: Ooh.

616
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: I was finally hitting my stride at work. We had

617
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: just bought our first condo together and we weren't living

618
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: a really kid friendly life. I did not tell him

619
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: this because I was a coward and we have never

620
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 1: really disagreed before. So I kept my mouth shut and

621
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: decided it wouldn't be a huge sacrifice to have a baby.

622
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: I could make it work.

623
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 3: Op, Op, what do we always say, John, communicate early,

624
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 3: and often.

625
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,880
Speaker 1: Communicate early, and often especially about something as big as

626
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: a kid.

627
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 2: Dude, and she's carrying it.

628
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that that is like it's it's already

629
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 3: like a big conversation about having a kid. But if

630
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 3: you have to carry this baby and you're like unsure

631
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 3: about that is so much pressure on you that you

632
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 3: don't that you deserve the right to be able.

633
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: To And hey, maybe this is maybe this is a

634
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 1: hot take, but I think if you're not sure you

635
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: want a kid, you should not have a kid.

636
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 2: I think I can get behind that.

637
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: Obviously, accidents happen, Fia.

638
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 2: Hey that's true. Accidents do happen.

639
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, accidents happen, and people change their minds all the time.

640
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: But like, like, I think in this case, it feels

641
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: like Op was actively unsure yeah, and then yeah, and

642
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: then decided to just go ahead and plan. And I

643
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: think all sorts of weird things can happen if you

644
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: just force yourself into having a kid. We got pregnant.

645
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: I was miserable. Oh, pregnancy did not suit me and

646
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: I wanted it to be over. I felt disconnected from everything,

647
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: especially my pregnancy and I sought out therapy. My therapist

648
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 1: told me that I was holding resentment against this baby,

649
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: and I was in a great spot in my career

650
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: and was more worried about that than my unborn child.

651
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 1: He was right. I worked on this and by month six,

652
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: I was really excited to have this baby. We turned that.

653
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: We turned that around, hopefully, hopefully.

654
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I'm I'm nervous.

655
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 1: Hey, all right, I mean we're I think we're in

656
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: a good, good place. We're in a good place. My

657
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: husband and I were in a better place. My resentment

658
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: and attitude really hurt our relationship during this time, and

659
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 1: everything was going well until it wasn't here. We go

660
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: around seven months and I had some horrible complications that

661
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: have caused my chances of ever getting pregnant being incredibly low.

662
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 1: I know that I am never getting pregnant. After the

663
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: initial shock, recovering from the physical trauma and the emotional trauma,

664
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 1: I won't lie. I felt relieved, massive relief. I didn't

665
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: want to be a mother then, but I will down

666
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: the road. I am a firm believer that this was

667
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: just not meant to be. But my husband took it

668
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 1: harder with some therapy. Though on both our ends, we

669
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 1: seem to be in a good spot until last night, and.

670
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 3: So to clarify it, basically seems like there was a mischaracter.

671
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: He lost the baby. He lost the baby. Last night

672
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: my husband approached me. He said that he really wants

673
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: us to have a kid, and Ford gives me, Oh,

674
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 1: no for losing hours.

675
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 4: Oh son, forgive me for losing my temper right now?

676
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 2: Oh that is so bad.

677
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: How do you say something like that?

678
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: That is so so bad? Oh?

679
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe he'll recover in the second. How let's see.

680
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,719
Speaker 1: He knows that I cannot conceive, but reminded me that

681
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: he is more than capable that that. Babe, I know

682
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: you're inferle but this sperm, this freaking Michael Phelps of

683
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: the sperm over here.

684
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: I see you. I know where we're heading.

685
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: I also I see the up. If we want a baby,

686
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: then we need to look into adoption or getting donated

687
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: eggs and going the surrogacy route. Right now, we aren't

688
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: in a financial position for that either. Then he asks,

689
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: what if there was another way?

690
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 3: Due this is like this is like an infomercial, like

691
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 3: where it's like you are you tired of trying to

692
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 3: get you know baby by IVF Surreyviuni adoption.

693
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: Have you tried cheating on your wife? Just ask her,

694
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: but with less steps you don't need an ask for

695
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: your wife's permission.

696
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 2: Surrogacy, that's Surga free.

697
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh boy, naturally asked what he told me. I

698
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: literally was about to say, like, oh, yeah, this is

699
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 1: a girl from work. He told me that there was

700
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 1: a woman at work that he has known for several years.

701
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: Apparently she knows all about our marital problems and knows

702
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: all about my health issues over the past years. He

703
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: says that they recently went to drinks together. Bro. Again again,

704
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 1: I just want to position this. This is real. This

705
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: is like very recently after she lost her pregnancy. So first,

706
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 1: he says, hey, I forgive you for losing the pregnancy.

707
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 2: Crazy.

708
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: Second, I was as fertile as a as a as

709
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: a a bison in spring. And third, I just confessed

710
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: all of her marital problems to this haudio work that

711
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: I had drinks with and I want to hook up

712
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: with her for us.

713
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 2: Bro, this is so bad.

714
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: Wow, he said, they recently went to drinks together. I

715
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 1: was at an overnight shift and after a few drinks,

716
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: she offered to not only donate eggs, but to be

717
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: our surrogate. This seems too good to be true, right,

718
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 1: She's like, we can.

719
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 4: Even skip the donating eggs part.

720
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can just go right to the source.

721
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: Right to the sort. Hey, you know yeah, And in fact,

722
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: we we knew you would be okay with it. So

723
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: after drinks, we did a little surrogacy session, you know, say,

724
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: a little little prep.

725
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 2: We why why would we make you wait?

726
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean? And you know it's

727
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: so expensive, it's so expensive.

728
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 2: We wanted to get the process start now.

729
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 3: And you know we might have to do it many

730
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 3: times for me, you know, you know, you know strike,

731
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 3: you know.

732
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: Strike like the baby. But don't worry, I Am going

733
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: to put in.

734
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: The work every single day.

735
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: She will only do this if my husband impregnates her

736
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 1: the natural way, having spicy sleep with her during her

737
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: ovulation period until she gets pregnant. I was baffled by this.

738
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 2: It's so obvious. This is just this is just cheating.

739
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 2: This is literally just cheating.

740
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: He's trying to find a loophole and it and he's.

741
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 3: Still like, like he hasn't checked in with her and

742
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 3: been like because think about it she just lost a kid,

743
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 3: she could probably have so many complicated emotions.

744
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 1: Or literally not checking her once. First he was considering

745
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: it and seemed genuinely excited for this. Yeah, I'm sure

746
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: he was. Second, that this woman would offer such a

747
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: thing without ever having met me, and finally that he

748
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 1: had shared such intimate details with her. Yes, he said that.

749
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: He then followed up with her when they were both

750
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: sover via text, and she responded, Oh, I would love

751
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 1: to have your baby. It just keeps getting worse, okay,

752
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: really quick, keeps getting worse, is there? I mean, I

753
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: feel like this is just like a Lily Pat hoppin.

754
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 1: I feel like he's just trying to hop to the

755
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:40,359
Speaker 1: next thing.

756
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 3: That is a great point, and Irish Gigs in chat

757
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 3: just made an incredible point to what she's all already.

758
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of people are saying that in chat.

759
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 3: Oh, and they're trying to slide through.

760
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 2: And get away with it.

761
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

762
00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 3: The one thing I'll say against that, though, is I

763
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 3: am imagine she would just be like, unless she's just

764
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 3: an absolute just insane person, she would say, hey, we

765
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 3: can still do like you know, basically either the Turkey

766
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 3: base or you know, we don't have to do natural

767
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 3: you know, not natural or whatever.

768
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, this seems odd to me, and I questioned

769
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 1: the mental stability of this woman. But then my husband's

770
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: entire demeanor shocks me. I told him I wasn't sure

771
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 1: about this.

772
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 2: Yes, you are sure about it. I'm sure that.

773
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh pie, you could say no.

774
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,760
Speaker 2: You can say no if.

775
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: We go the surrogate route. I would prefer it to

776
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,840
Speaker 1: be all anonymous in our surrogate, to be a stranger.

777
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 1: I don't want this getting messy or having to worry

778
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 1: about running into the egg donor instead of seeing the

779
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 1: validity of my opinions. He told me that having a

780
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 1: baby with him was non negotiable. Wait what he told

781
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 1: me that having a baby with him was non negotiable.

782
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 1: That this friend wants to help us. You wouldn't mind

783
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: doing it her way, and it would be the most

784
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 1: cost efficient since we just discussed how we cannot afford

785
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 1: it at this time. He told me that if I

786
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: love him and want a baby, then I will do

787
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:03,359
Speaker 1: this for him.

788
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 4: Dude, She's like, no, no, no, you know I think that

789
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 4: you're thinking about it in mins for my sake. I

790
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 4: don't mind, because you were worried that I would. I

791
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:11,320
Speaker 4: don't mind.

792
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: I really don't mind. In fact, you know, I want

793
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,479
Speaker 1: you with a camquarder for we can live this out

794
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: for many moons to come. I try to explain to

795
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 1: him that I am not sure if I am ready

796
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 1: for this, and I don't know if I am comfortable

797
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,479
Speaker 1: with all this, especially with him sleeping with someone else.

798
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: He brushed that off. I mean, no big deal if

799
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: you were to sleep with her, And then I'm overreacting

800
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 1: that he stood by while I got my dream and

801
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: he was left alone slash ignored. I never knew he

802
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: felt this way, and then I owed it to him

803
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 1: to let him do this. Today, I looked this woman

804
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 1: up on Facebook and she is, Hey, Sam, we're gonna

805
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 1: get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of

806
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 1: bads from our sponsors. Very attractive.

807
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:52,760
Speaker 2: Oh man.

808
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: I would say that my husband and I are both

809
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: average looking, but she is definitely striking, which makes my

810
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: anxiety go even higher.

811
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, WHOA, Why are we doing this?

812
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: Why do this for us? I don't get what she

813
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: gets out of this. Am I overreacting? This seems completely

814
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: bizarre to me, and I'm questioning everything in our relationship.

815
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 1: What should I do? We got some cop we got

816
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 1: some updates, but John, yes, sir, what should OPI do?

817
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 3: I know that OP struggles with confrontation, confrontation and being honest.

818
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 3: I think because of the severity of the scenario, I'm

819
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 3: getting worried that husband's just gonna kind of bold thoze

820
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 3: his way through this. Maybe she could do something like

821
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: get like a counselor or something and talk to them

822
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 3: and be like, hey, can you help me, like like

823
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 3: tell him how I really feel, and like get this,

824
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 3: get this all together. And I think too by proxy

825
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,959
Speaker 3: of that, the counselor will be like, oh, like hey,

826
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 3: this sucks, this is terrible, and he said, you know,

827
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 3: oh this is non negotiable. Great, then the deal is off.

828
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 3: Our our deal of like us being committed to each

829
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:08,320
Speaker 3: other is done. If you're not gonna be able.

830
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 2: To even talk about any of these ridiculous things are

831
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 2: trying to make me.

832
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 1: I mean, uh, I would you say the relationship is over?

833
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: She? I think she has to leave?

834
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, like to your point, like the counselor

835
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: is just a way for her to understand that.

836
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 2: To realize that.

837
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, and hopefully you know, I think this will be

838
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 3: a good experience for her to learn the voice, the

839
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 3: voice she deserves to have.

840
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, stand.

841
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:34,320
Speaker 2: Up for herself.

842
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and like this is like one of the

843
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: first ways she can train herself to like do that. Yes,

844
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 1: but we got some comments, we got some updates, so comments,

845
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 1: are you sure she's not already pregnant? And so we asked,

846
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 1: let's be asked, Well, I don't think she is. He

847
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 1: told me that they mapped out her cycles and insinuated

848
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 1: that I could help figure out when is best for her,

849
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 1: and that we could aim for a January insemination date

850
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: so that we could have a fall baby. There is

851
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: no way that she is already pregnant, assuming six plus weeks,

852
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: they could fool me with a fall baby. And reply,

853
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 1: this is so gross and appropriate, Opie says. It is

854
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: the fact that he has conversations with her about her

855
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: population cycles, which we didn't even talk about when we

856
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: were trying to conceive, is grossly inappropriate. That didn't even

857
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: hit me until I started reading some of the comments

858
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:19,760
Speaker 1: and we have the update.

859
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 3: I'm so afraid everything out of this man's mouth is pure,

860
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,360
Speaker 3: utter hot steaming.

861
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

862
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 1: I don't know why he just doesn't you know, go

863
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 1: to her, believe leave just leave.

864
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 2: There there's the door, Yeah, you can walk out of

865
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 2: it and just just just just just go.

866
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,240
Speaker 1: I just see. It feels like there's such resentment from

867
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: him to OPI.

868
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 3: It's it's almost like he wants to like hold this

869
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 3: over her and you have like give you you know.

870
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 3: He he he's just like relishing in the in the

871
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 3: the pain that it he's causing.

872
00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: Op.

873
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,399
Speaker 1: It feels like, yeah, dude, it feels like he wants

874
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: to punish her. Yeah, yeah, you're right. But we got

875
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 1: an update.

876
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 2: Let's go. So.

877
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 1: I spoke with my husband on Tuesday, after he got

878
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,959
Speaker 1: home from work and before I had to leave for work.

879
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,399
Speaker 1: I explained to him that even though I do want

880
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 1: kids down the road, I would not be comfortable with

881
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 1: this friend being our surrogate and that this would not

882
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 1: change for me ever. Yes, foot down, but do you

883
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 1: think we're gonna let's see if you'll we'll actually move

884
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 1: forward with them, maybe another foot down, or maybe a

885
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 1: retreat away from the relationship. All of it made me

886
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and honestly made me question his fidelity. He was

887
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: shocked by this. The exact words were are you saying

888
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 1: that I cheated on you. I laid it out for him,

889
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: pointing out a lot of things that were pointed out

890
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 1: to me from my original post, and stated that even

891
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 1: if he hadn't yet physically cheated, he emotionally cheated. He

892
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 1: said that he did have an emotional connection with her,

893
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 1: but beyond that nothing else. I asked if they had

894
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 1: spicy sleeping, anything spicy related at all. He was baffled

895
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: that I would even think this and adamant he did

896
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: not have any spicy related contact with her. He reiterated

897
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: that he loves me and I am the only one

898
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 1: he wants. The whole idea of this was because he

899
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: wanted to give us a family and help repair the loss.

900
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 1: This was just a way to do that, and he

901
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: never saw it as cheating because it would be something

902
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: we both would agree to. I told him that isn't true,

903
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: because he emotionally manipulated me, or tried to and going

904
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 1: along with it. I told him I needed to know

905
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 1: what their relationship was like. He admitted that over the

906
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 1: past year, even while I was pregnant, he confided in

907
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: her about my obvious lack of interest in the pregnancy

908
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: and my disdain toward motherhood, So he did know and

909
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: kind of just forced Op to continue in this path.

910
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 1: Not surprised, And again it's like, I don't I think

911
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 1: it is terrible that he forced Ope to do that,

912
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 1: but also I know he already said this, Like I

913
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: think Ope needs to learn to stand up for herself

914
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 1: so she never gets in a situation like that.

915
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

916
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's doing a.

917
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: Much better job. Big progress. And how she's talking right now, it.

918
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 1: Might disdain towards motherhood, his fear of me hating our

919
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,800
Speaker 1: baby and the issues that persisted in our relationship. Apparently

920
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,399
Speaker 1: she was shocked and I would feel this way towards

921
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: a baby. She told him that she has only ever

922
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: wanted to be a mother. Since then, they have only

923
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: gotten closer, but he denies it has ever gotten physical

924
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 1: or that he has felt any romantic inclinations towards her.

925
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 1: I don't know. He said that the surrogacy was completely

926
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 1: her idea and she has been hinting at it for weeks. Yeah,

927
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: tell him how she would carry our baby for us,

928
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 1: how he deserves to be a dad. But informed her

929
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: that we did not have any frozen eggs or options

930
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: or egg donation or adoption, which we couldn't afford. No problem,

931
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 1: she suggested using her eggs, which is how the plan

932
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: took shape of conspiracy theory. Conspiracy theory. She wants a

933
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 1: baby and wants a donor, sperm donor, and wants to

934
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: keep the baby, and this is her way of manipulating

935
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: Opie's husband into giving a sperm donation so she can

936
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: have her own baby, because she's only ever wanted to

937
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 1: be a mother.

938
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 3: She's like, this is this is my way through, this

939
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,919
Speaker 3: is my way to get it, and it's cheap, it's free,

940
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 3: and it's free, and he'll he'll do it.

941
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 1: Cheryl Emerson says she will not give up the baby. Yeah.

942
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: I think she won't give up the baby. I don't

943
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: even know she's fully interested in op Maybe she just

944
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: sees a little sperm sperm yeah, baby opportunity.

945
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 4: Well were you gonna say, Sophia, I doesn't really matter

946
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 4: whether or not he likes her, sees her in a

947
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 4: romantic light, which I think is a lie anyway. Yeah,

948
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 4: but she's clearly into him or like has some other

949
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 4: ulterior motives.

950
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's there's something, Yeah, some sort of

951
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 3: connection that is not not right here.

952
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 1: Like they're not even I don't think they're close enough

953
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: enough friends, like for this to be a platonic friend thing. Yeah, yeah,

954
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 1: like agreing with Sophia. Either it's romantic or she wants

955
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,240
Speaker 1: to kid herself.

956
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, just I don't know, man, just telling about like

957
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,319
Speaker 3: her the medical things, and I don't know.

958
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 2: It's just such a betrayal of trust on it.

959
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 1: Oh, it is a huge betrayal of just for sure.

960
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: He said that they could do artificial incumination, but she

961
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: said she didn't want medical records of this, and natural

962
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 1: insummination would keep cost down.

963
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, she didn't want medical records. She didn't want any

964
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 4: kind of like documentation that would say that she had

965
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 4: to give up the child.

966
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 2: Yeah mmm.

967
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,720
Speaker 1: I asked him what the f he was thinking talking

968
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: to her about stuff like this and thinking that this

969
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: was okay. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

970
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 1: I asked him how he would feel if I did this,

971
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: if he was the infertile one and I had an

972
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 1: attractive doctor friend knock me up with no strings attached

973
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 1: at his suggestion, how would he feel he had nothing

974
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: to say to this?

975
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 3: There you go, There you go, John, Here og host.

976
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

977
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 3: three minute break from hous from our sponsors.

978
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 1: I told him that I felt absolutely betrayed by all

979
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 1: of this. Clearly she has some sort of mental health

980
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 1: problems and an unhealthy attachment to my husband, but beyond that,

981
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 1: his relationship with her is in appropriate. He said, Obviously

982
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: I shared too much. I told him that I am

983
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:14,399
Speaker 1: upset that he forgave me his quote for the loss

984
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 1: for a baby, which I had no control over, and

985
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: that he used that to emotionally manipulate me. He apologize

986
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: for that, He never meant it to come out like

987
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: that and in no way blames me. After that, everything

988
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: calmed down, but I told him I needed some space

989
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 1: from him for a bit. He asked if our marriage

990
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 1: was over. I wonder if he wants that he.

991
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 2: Wants her to do it.

992
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 4: He's like, ah, it's your marriage over.

993
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 1: You're telling me I have to go impregnate the super

994
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 1: hot worker.

995
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 3: Oh shut dude, Yeah he's doing He's trying to do

996
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 3: everything he can to like push her to the edge.

997
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 2: You're like, hey, I did always see.

998
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,439
Speaker 1: Because also you know, it's it is hard to break

999
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: up with your partner. It's much easier to like have

1000
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 1: them do it the worst and just pushed them away.

1001
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 3: And him it's almost like, looking back on it now,

1002
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 3: it's almost like, oh, all of these things he do

1003
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,919
Speaker 3: he's doing almost seems strategic to where it's like, yes,

1004
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 3: it'll it will just push her to the brink of

1005
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 3: wanting to her initiate the breakup.

1006
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: But I mean, he still looks like a bad guy.

1007
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 2: But it's like, oh, I.

1008
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,240
Speaker 1: Didn't cheat, or you know, I didn't do X y Z. Yeah,

1009
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 1: I told him I didn't think so. But this has

1010
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: been really emotionally turbulent a few days and I need

1011
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: to process it. I think that's fair. I think her

1012
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 1: processing and taking time is she shouldn't make any like

1013
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 1: split second reactions. He told me that he doesn't want

1014
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: our marriage to be over if this was something I

1015
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 1: was considering. He loves me more than anything and cannot

1016
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: bear to lose me over this. That losing our baby

1017
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: was devastating and has made him depress, confused, and angry.

1018
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 1: But he does not want to lose me at all,

1019
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: which you know might be true. You know, like people

1020
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 1: when they're depressed and confused and angry make terrible decisions.

1021
00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:01,280
Speaker 1: Maybe this is is a short term lined ness.

1022
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:05,240
Speaker 4: I don't think so, because even before they lost the baby,

1023
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 4: he was acting like this.

1024
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 1: Well, I think I think he's just been so focused

1025
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 1: on having a kid that he's like ignoring her feelings

1026
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: and just trying to steamroll to this like goal.

1027
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 2: Of his Yeah. I think.

1028
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 3: I think the evidence stacked is so so damning that

1029
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 3: it's like you just you just you can't trust that

1030
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 3: he won't do things to hurt you at this point.

1031
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 2: It's so much evidence.

1032
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,720
Speaker 1: A lot of his behavior has been really hurtful.

1033
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think this relationship can like laugh, I

1034
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 4: think he needs to get therapy, not to save this relationship,

1035
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 4: but to fix MYSELFLF.

1036
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:42,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1037
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I told him he should not have thought about

1038
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 1: that before planning to stick his wiener in crazy. I

1039
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 1: told him that if he wants to keep open communication,

1040
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 1: he needs to get ties with her. Obviously he works

1041
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: with her, but nothing beyond whatever work contact they have

1042
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 1: to have. He needs to go to individual counseling and

1043
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 1: come to at least one counseling session with me per week.

1044
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: Before he left, he changed his phone number, blocked her

1045
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 1: on Facebook, and deactivated it He told me that he

1046
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,720
Speaker 1: would give me access to whatever I wanted to see

1047
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 1: to prove that the relationship was severed and that it

1048
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: was nothing more than what he told me. His parting

1049
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 1: words were I just want to build a family with you,

1050
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 1: which absolutely gutted me. Wednesday afternoon, I checked his email.

1051
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: There was nothing, nothing deleted bin or recovered, deleted out items,

1052
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: and outlook. Facebook was hard to look at. There were

1053
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: a lot of chat messages between the two of them

1054
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 1: spanning the last eight months when he added her on Facebook. Overall,

1055
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 1: his messages were friendly. A few times he was flirty,

1056
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: but never spicy, related or what I would consider too

1057
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:42,320
Speaker 1: much for what should be friends. But hers were pretty

1058
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: clear in her meaning. The messages are clear she's making

1059
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 1: some kind of play for him. I took screenshots of

1060
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 1: all the conversations. Don't worry. I triple checked for any

1061
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 1: deleted messages, hidden app or other messaging services, and re

1062
00:48:55,280 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 1: deactivated his Facebook. I have his iPad ipadd They never

1063
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 1: remember to delete the messages on the iPad.

1064
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 2: I've had to tell you.

1065
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: How many relationships have been destroyed for better Yeah, because

1066
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 1: an I've had caught them red handed like so many.

1067
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 2: Oh, shout out Steve jobs Man.

1068
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 1: Well, I have his iPad and it was able to

1069
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: look at the messages on there. They appeared to Elite

1070
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 1: every thirty days, which left me with that to look at. Overall,

1071
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: the text and chats line up with his story, but

1072
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 1: the whole exchange about the logistics makes me sick. She

1073
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 1: talks about making a baby as though it's a date,

1074
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 1: that she doesn't want it to be sterile or feel

1075
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 1: like she's being used. Her comments were inappropriate, but he

1076
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: never stopped her or corrected her. She even insulted me

1077
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,320
Speaker 1: several times when he expressed concern about how I would feel,

1078
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 1: saying things like she's cold hearted and maybe you should

1079
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,480
Speaker 1: just do this on your own so you don't have

1080
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 1: to worry about her rejecting the baby. Do this on

1081
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 1: your own with me?

1082
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just just yeah. She clearly, like Sophia said,

1083
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 2: there is some ulterior motive.

1084
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 3: Is it she wants him? She's like roll mansally interested.

1085
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 3: Does she just want him as a spur, as a

1086
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 3: baby juice donor it's.

1087
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: Something she wants him? But man, what a crazy move

1088
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: on her part. Oh in insane? How old are all

1089
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,720
Speaker 1: of them? Do we know? Do we get those ages.

1090
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: Do you think, Sophia, I don't know.

1091
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 4: And then also male and thirty two females.

1092
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 3: Okay, And then and then also if if she is

1093
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 3: just looking for like a baby daddy, for a donor, why.

1094
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 2: Go to this is such a complicated situation. Go to

1095
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:38,800
Speaker 2: a single dude.

1096
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like down that you like, can but she's

1097
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: you know, it created the attachment with this guy from work,

1098
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 1: you know, guess feels comfortable. Yeah, he didn't really stand

1099
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 1: up for me, but said that he didn't think I

1100
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 1: would do that. It was all very hard to read.

1101
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:55,759
Speaker 1: But I feel better about my decision overall. By the way,

1102
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: you want to feel better about your decision to spend

1103
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:01,680
Speaker 1: more time with us? Oh god, you you should listen

1104
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go

1105
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 1: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, storytime,

1106
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 1: there's another relevant update. But John, Yes, I feel like

1107
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 1: we're not quite getting away from the relationship with the

1108
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 1: speed that we may need.

1109
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, he like he is.

1110
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 3: Just I feel like there's like a like a time

1111
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 3: and place in a relationship where the the trust of

1112
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 3: them kind of like caring for you, you know, is just

1113
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 3: like completely obliterated and he has He's obliterated it, nuked it,

1114
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:40,279
Speaker 3: just absolutely nuked it. And yeah, Op just needs it.

1115
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 3: And you know what, I think she's I think she's

1116
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 3: getting there and she's realizing she's coming out of out

1117
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 3: of like being non confrontational, not wanting to rock the boat.

1118
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, which is good, Which is good.

1119
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 1: This is like character development at least one at least

1120
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: like on one side.

1121
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, think, thank god she caught it before they had

1122
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 3: imagine they had a baby yet, Oh my god, So

1123
00:51:59,040 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 3: thank god it was caught.

1124
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 1: Now, you know, we really speak on Wednesday. He checked

1125
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 1: in a few times, but I let him know that

1126
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,759
Speaker 1: we would talk Thursday. Thursday morning, he let me know

1127
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:09,240
Speaker 1: that he turned into his letter of resignation Wednesday morning.

1128
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 3: Huh, so like like basically being like, hey, I'm gonna

1129
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 3: cut her off so hard, I'm quitting.

1130
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he's trying. I think he knows how

1131
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: massively he aft up. And now he's like like I'm

1132
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 1: going to lose my my wife, hail Mary, which you know,

1133
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 1: like I mean is better than not. I mean, I

1134
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 1: think he is showing that he's choosing her. I just

1135
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 1: don't necessarily, Like, I don't think we have enough information

1136
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 1: to show that he's actually changed and is not manipulative.

1137
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 1: But I do think he's trying to send a message

1138
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: to her like, hey, I'm choosing you. I don't care

1139
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 1: about this woman, Like I'm cutting her out of my life.

1140
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 3: Even that though, it's just like just the stupidity of

1141
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:56,399
Speaker 3: like that's gotta be damaging to his career. And that's

1142
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:58,359
Speaker 3: also you know, the funance disability both of them.

1143
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just yeah, that's actually a good pint.

1144
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: Miss Chamber and says he's making a lot of big

1145
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,399
Speaker 1: decisions without talking to Op.

1146
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:07,319
Speaker 3: True, why why didn't he go to her and say, like, hey,

1147
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 3: to do this? Would this make you feel better?

1148
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah.

1149
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 4: Also, I just think, like if I didn't hear the

1150
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 4: beginning of this story him in the middle of it.

1151
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 4: But I think if you guys, if like, if there's

1152
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 4: ever a couple where one person doesn't want to have

1153
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 4: a child and one person does, that just cannot work. Mm,

1154
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 4: Like you guys have the like, if that's a deal

1155
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 4: breaker for you, that cannot work.

1156
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:30,880
Speaker 2: Yes, he said it was.

1157
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was no negotiable for him and Op. He

1158
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 4: was clearly like I don't want to do this. Yeah,

1159
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,920
Speaker 4: that's just a relationship that can't work. It would no

1160
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:43,320
Speaker 4: matter the therapy, because you guys have just want different things.

1161
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, alsopia, you're glowing by the way, Ah, it might

1162
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:49,280
Speaker 1: be the light.

1163
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 2: Positive.

1164
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 1: He hasn't heard from her, but doesn't intend to seek

1165
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 1: her out to say goodbye either. He apologized he just

1166
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: thought he was doing the right thing and thought this

1167
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 1: would make me happy. Don't feel extremely betrayed. He is

1168
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 1: dealing with loss and other things. We both agree that

1169
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 1: our communication has really deteriorated in the past year, and

1170
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 1: then we need to fix this. So no lawyer, no Jim,

1171
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 1: just therapy for us. You know, I do think we

1172
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 1: went to some pretty crazy dark places. I will say

1173
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 1: he does feel like he's at least improving a little bit,

1174
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 1: and I do think going to therapy is really important.

1175
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 1: And I do think she is taking back her power. Yes,

1176
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 1: I think like he's made her feel very powerless in

1177
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:38,399
Speaker 1: this and but yeah, I'm just I think we need

1178
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 1: a I think we need a lot of therapy and

1179
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 1: a lot of space to make this relationship work, if

1180
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,240
Speaker 1: we even think it should.

1181
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,279
Speaker 4: I think I think they have different values I don't

1182
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 4: think it can work.

1183
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think it can work.

1184
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 4: Like, maybe they could have gotten through all of this

1185
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 4: stuff had she wanted a child, but they just want

1186
00:54:57,920 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 4: different things.

1187
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: Well, I think that's where that story ends, and this

1188
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: episode ends.

1189
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 2: I'm sorried.

1190
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 1: Well, you're about to get more sad, because if you

1191
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 1: love us, make sure to subscribe Oh we love you,

1192
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,000
Speaker 1: and see it tomorrow