Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
Speaker 1: was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now in the air everywhere we were
Speaker 1: back at it again. A Saturday Saturday edition of the
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Deep in the north Woods.
Speaker 1: Here a spinoff of the radio show, only available in
Speaker 1: the podcast format. We thank you for finding it and
Speaker 1: being part of the festivus of audio content. Here on
Speaker 1: a Saturday, joined by the Man West of the four
Speaker 1: oh five, David Gascon is here. He's got a big,
Speaker 1: big introduction. You don't have any any sound effects, nothing canned,
Speaker 1: nothing can for the day, well the day. Yeah. The
Speaker 1: crowd actually thinks I'm I'm They're they're more excited about me,
Speaker 1: so flopping there, very happy that I'm here. I golf
Speaker 1: count yeah, exactly. The one thing this show will not
Speaker 1: be is all right, will not be born? Yeah? Who
Speaker 1: did you get that from? Avenue. No, no, I cannot
Speaker 1: say avenue toy. But look the calls are coming in
Speaker 1: at most people can't call a podcast guest count. But
Speaker 1: look at that. The phones are ringing. Who is that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh, the phone is ringing. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I gotta answer the phone. And she's yelling at me
Speaker 1: to answer the phone. Disgusting. You might even get a
Speaker 1: prank phone call. Look look at that. Look who's calling in?
Speaker 1: Oh no, Papa boys calling. Hey, this is like last
Speaker 1: year with with Benny versus the Penny. As soon as
Speaker 1: you can see the comments on the YouTube channel, you
Speaker 1: just you uh, I was distracted. You were like a
Speaker 1: pig and slop to get this. It's the shiny object,
Speaker 1: you know, it's the shiny object. And that and when
Speaker 1: you when you say something stupid, yeah, yeah, you lose.
Speaker 1: See you see that's you know where that's from video games?
Speaker 1: That from that's an iconic video game. That's Donkey Kong.
Speaker 1: When you when you losing Donkey Kong. Ye Now it's
Speaker 1: a child in my youth, those were the games I had,
Speaker 1: so for me, that's an iconic sound. That's it is.
Speaker 1: It was like Donkey Kong galagha pac Man. You had
Speaker 1: some some rich stuff in the video game, in the
Speaker 1: world of course Magic versus Bird too, but yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: there was some classic classic games. So what's that? Who
Speaker 1: in it too? I give it to myself? What are
Speaker 1: you talking about? You know why? I'm a winner, That's why.
Speaker 1: Come on, this is a fucking nightmare. This is absolutely atrocious.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you. Did you found this somewhere? Did
Speaker 1: you find it or did your wife find it somewhere? Oh? No,
Speaker 1: I found it. I I found it, and uh your Batman,
Speaker 1: Oh the Cape Crusader making an appearance there. I might
Speaker 1: have to edit that out of the podcast in case
Speaker 1: the people upstairs here it. Oh yeah, no, so so
Speaker 1: I I uh years ago, when you know those replay machines,
Speaker 1: you might not if you're like a track right, like
Speaker 1: it's connected to your board when you're so that became
Speaker 1: I remember when that was like new and the person
Speaker 1: on air or the or the engineer could hit sound effects.
Speaker 1: And we got one of those at Extra Sports eleven
Speaker 1: F D L. A and and I the first like
Speaker 1: two months all I did after everything, I said, let
Speaker 1: me give you a kind of a recap here what
Speaker 1: happened here. Let me see if I can. You can
Speaker 1: find it after everything I said, even it didn't matter
Speaker 1: what it was, it was yeah, hey, I I had
Speaker 1: a corned beef sandwich for lunch yesterday. Yeah, you know, okay,
Speaker 1: And it was just and the program director Bo Bennett
Speaker 1: came in after a couple of weeks during the show,
Speaker 1: I was in the middle of the segment and ripped
Speaker 1: the sound effect machine out of my my hands and said, no,
Speaker 1: you you're not allowed to have that anymore, and literally
Speaker 1: just unplugged it and ripped it from the wall and
Speaker 1: took it away. So that's good. Were you were you
Speaker 1: scared of him at all or did you push back? No?
Speaker 1: I was scared of Bo because he was a very
Speaker 1: small person. Um, but I I also was afraid of
Speaker 1: all program breactors in general because I was convinced that
Speaker 1: they all were out to get me. So I did
Speaker 1: not did not spend much time get pushing back. Now,
Speaker 1: I I'm at the point I don't really care. But
Speaker 1: back then it was it was much different. So on
Speaker 1: this podcast, obviously we just gave you the new thing,
Speaker 1: which is so excited. Look, hey, the Minnesota Vikings, whoa
Speaker 1: look at that school? Ah, oh, this is doesn't bode
Speaker 1: well for me. Oh yeah, it's over for you, man,
Speaker 1: it's over. Your your career is now. Yeah, that's it. Uh.
Speaker 1: So we we have the injury tent, the glitch, and
Speaker 1: whatever else pops up, whatever else pops up on the podcast. Also,
Speaker 1: I will answer a question now. Yesterday I answered a
Speaker 1: couple of questions. I know that the podcast got up
Speaker 1: late on Friday, but there were some technical difficulties that
Speaker 1: were beyond our control. So we put that up a
Speaker 1: little bit later. And I did answer the age old
Speaker 1: question of whether or not it's the Code of the
Speaker 1: wet or the John Wooden Creed because I had a
Speaker 1: guy from from l a here that emailed me, and
Speaker 1: he actually emailed me a while ago, not that long ago,
Speaker 1: but I I got into that and ranted and raved
Speaker 1: about which is which is better? But we begin this podcast.
Speaker 1: I hope you if you missed the Friday podcast because
Speaker 1: it was up late, you can end up you know,
Speaker 1: listen to whatever. Listen to it right now if you want.
Speaker 1: I don't care. But this podcast, uh, the injury tent.
Speaker 1: So I think you would agree with me that my job,
Speaker 1: our job is pretty simple, pretty simple, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's talking. Anybody can talk, um, it's not that hard.
Speaker 1: So I found a way the other day to injure
Speaker 1: myself while preparing for a radio show. And this could
Speaker 1: be the answer to some kind of obscure tributa question.
Speaker 1: But I was, I was getting ready for the show,
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty much locked in the office here. Not
Speaker 1: not that this is a big issue. It's a it's
Speaker 1: a first world problem. But there's a lot of construction
Speaker 1: going on here at the Mallard mansion, and as a
Speaker 1: result of the construction, I am pretty limited in where
Speaker 1: I can go. So I hang out in the office
Speaker 1: and spend a lot of time here. I don't even
Speaker 1: have we don't have TVs in the house. It's it's,
Speaker 1: you know, these are first world things that we don't have.
Speaker 1: So and then it's gonna be like another month at
Speaker 1: least until things are somewhat normal. So, but I'm not
Speaker 1: paving roads or doing any kind of physical labor like
Speaker 1: the people are actually working on the house or doing
Speaker 1: some physical labor. But I managed to suffer a knee injury.
Speaker 1: I was prepping for the show the other night, and
Speaker 1: I was putting some monologues together, putting some bullet points
Speaker 1: together for the monologues. And uh, I had I have
Speaker 1: a chair that rolls, most people do. And then I
Speaker 1: rolled away to grab some water and then in my
Speaker 1: haste to come back and to get back to my
Speaker 1: my position in the desk. Uh I went a little
Speaker 1: too fast, I think. Uh, the voice in my head
Speaker 1: so like kind of like tiger woods. Uh, turning the
Speaker 1: corner there near where you live, west of the four
Speaker 1: or five back in then and so I I went
Speaker 1: boom and then kaboom, just like that, Uh, kaboom, and
Speaker 1: my my leftnee was not my right he was my
Speaker 1: left knee went right into the corner of the desk,
Speaker 1: and I was just in tremendous pain. But nobody knew.
Speaker 1: Nobody knew because I'm in a room by myself. I'm
Speaker 1: far away from everyone else. And uh, I was in real,
Speaker 1: real misery. And so what I had done it I
Speaker 1: had jerry rigged the desk because I know you're very
Speaker 1: concerned about how my desk is set up. I have
Speaker 1: a corner desk in the studio. Everything set up. It's
Speaker 1: a pain in the ass. I've had to rebuild the
Speaker 1: studio multiple times since the beginning of this year because
Speaker 1: of moving, and so I've got it just the way
Speaker 1: I wanted. And but the desk, I had to take
Speaker 1: part of the desk off so I could sit where
Speaker 1: I need to sit for the podcast. And in in
Speaker 1: doing that, I opened up a corner and I just
Speaker 1: nailed that thing. So I have a nice My knee
Speaker 1: is black and blue. It was actually bleeding, Actually had
Speaker 1: blood coming out of the of the knee during this
Speaker 1: this episode. So it was it was an interesting time.
Speaker 1: But but I believe I will make a full recovery.
Speaker 1: And I I did not tell a soul, didn't tell
Speaker 1: the wife. The first people I'm telling are right now
Speaker 1: you listening. It's very important information. The Saturday podcast is
Speaker 1: really the life of Mallard. That's what people have said.
Speaker 1: It's all about things that have happened to me. So
Speaker 1: we should get what was the what was the board game?
Speaker 1: Was it called? Doctor? Oh? Are you talking about operation? Operation?
Speaker 1: There you go. We should get that. We should golt
Speaker 1: a Ben Mallar operation board because we have the gall bladder,
Speaker 1: we have a tongue, we have the knee. Um, have
Speaker 1: you stepped your tail yet yet? Oh? Yeah, I've had
Speaker 1: two issues now you play the game Operation back when
Speaker 1: you were when you were a kid, did you play?
Speaker 1: I did? I did, But for full disclosure, your pasty
Speaker 1: white seal bruised quite easily. Anyway. This isn't really know.
Speaker 1: I've always bruised. That's one of my superpowers. And when
Speaker 1: I played football, people always felt bad for me because
Speaker 1: the after every game, I would come back and my
Speaker 1: arms would be all black and blue from the shoulder
Speaker 1: down to the elbow, and people, I can't believe, why
Speaker 1: are you playing football? And I'm like, well, it doesn't
Speaker 1: it didn't really hurt. I just bruised. You know, you
Speaker 1: touched me and I'll bruise. I'm I'm a wallflower when
Speaker 1: it comes to that. But the game Operation I played,
Speaker 1: I was very good at the game Operation. As a child,
Speaker 1: I should have been a doctor. But you know the
Speaker 1: name of the title Carrie. Don't know its character. I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's the right way to describe it.
Speaker 1: But the on the game, the person laying on the
Speaker 1: front of the bottom, Okay, I don't know his name,
Speaker 1: and I don't know the main character of Monopoli's name either. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know in in Operation it's Cavity Sam they call. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I looked that up actually because I I was doing
Speaker 1: a monologue about Anthony Davis Lakers and I was like,
Speaker 1: this guy's the character from you know, Operation. I was like,
Speaker 1: I couldn't and I found his name as Cavity Sam.
Speaker 1: But in Operation can he even put can even put
Speaker 1: a bone in his mouth? I know you could put
Speaker 1: it everywhere else, but I don't even think you could
Speaker 1: put a bone in his mouth? Right, Yeah? No, I
Speaker 1: I I believe that you can't. I have to look
Speaker 1: at the box. I don't have the box right in
Speaker 1: front of me, but I think you can put that
Speaker 1: put that in anyway? You know. You bringing him up
Speaker 1: as is remarkable because that could be a trivia question
Speaker 1: the next ten years. Name a game character that was
Speaker 1: not canceled. Well, is there a reason to cancer? I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's something that has got something racist about Kevity Sam.
Speaker 1: I'm sure could be a skin color. Yes. Uh, well,
Speaker 1: I'm surprised Monopoly is still around because that supports the
Speaker 1: aristocrats and the robber Bart capitalism, capitalist of evil, evil
Speaker 1: successful and make a lot of money, and super Mario brothers,
Speaker 1: you know, stereotyping Italians, that's right, I mean you could
Speaker 1: conceivably get rid of everything. The Smurfs making fun of
Speaker 1: a poor community, you know, yeah, exactly. Uh so you know,
Speaker 1: why not just get let's just get rid of everything.
Speaker 1: We'll just stare at each other and that is it.
Speaker 1: We have a very fragile society and the flakes are
Speaker 1: triggered by everything. So we'll just bow down. And the
Speaker 1: what do they say, they professionally offended class, right, the
Speaker 1: offended professional grifters. Yes. Every think of today though, is
Speaker 1: that people when they are almost victims and not victims,
Speaker 1: get upset when they're not victims. And this is something
Speaker 1: that has changed in my lifetime because when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, you didn't you you didn't want to be
Speaker 1: a victim. You know, he was like, I'm glad, I'm lucky.
Speaker 1: I'm not a victim. Nobody's taking advantage of Now It's like,
Speaker 1: oh man. The best example of that is the Colorado
Speaker 1: Rocky story from a couple of weeks ago. Remember that
Speaker 1: one where the fan, the fan behind on plate was
Speaker 1: screaming dinger with a d right. I got picked up
Speaker 1: on the microphone behind on plate. And of course social
Speaker 1: media always going to the worst possible place, uh said
Speaker 1: that this guy screamed out the N word, and then
Speaker 1: they went back and they realized he was just screaming
Speaker 1: out for the Rockies mascot to come over to him.
Speaker 1: But the guy on the Marlins, I forget the guy's name,
Speaker 1: but the guy in the Marlins who was interviewed, um,
Speaker 1: remember he went on and on. It's like, uh, I
Speaker 1: heard it. He felt like he was the victim. He
Speaker 1: really wanted to be the victim. Like I remember watching
Speaker 1: his comments and I was like, wow, this guy really
Speaker 1: is upset. He's not the victim. You know, it could
Speaker 1: be like that scenario where you're you're playing on Miami's defense, right, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, Miami gets a turnover, they get the turnover chain,
Speaker 1: and so all of a sudden you have something that
Speaker 1: comes to prevalent and you're like, I got the virtue
Speaker 1: signal and chain, right like I got the gold like
Speaker 1: I got something to put around my neck. Yeah, no, exactly.
Speaker 1: It's just it's it's not the Potters have that too,
Speaker 1: right the when they hit a hold on they have
Speaker 1: the SD chain that they put it. Good for the
Speaker 1: nationally naturally West third place standings, Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh
Speaker 1: they were great. They were the best team in baseball
Speaker 1: for like we're even in first place. I feel like
Speaker 1: the Giants have been in first place in baseball. I
Speaker 1: think San Diego was like in first place for a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks, then the Dodgers and then San Francisco
Speaker 1: took him over at the tail end of the middle
Speaker 1: of April, and then the Dodgers an hour obviously in
Speaker 1: a dogy with this weekend series, do we need to
Speaker 1: do a wellness check? In my friend hacks All, there
Speaker 1: is cardiac arrest because the padres a falling apart and
Speaker 1: heart stop it in Mission Valley when it's not Mission
Speaker 1: Valley anymore. See that's a day to day because the
Speaker 1: Potters used to play Mission Valley, but now now it's
Speaker 1: down downtwass slap? Do you call it gas slap or downtown? Uh? Well,
Speaker 1: I always think of it at downtown. I know everyone's
Speaker 1: just gas lamp because all the bars and all that
Speaker 1: stuff are there. But I always what's just downtown? Just
Speaker 1: in downtown. That's why I go to downtown San Diego.
Speaker 1: That's where it is, right, I'll be I'll be down
Speaker 1: there tomorrow night. Oh yeah. Then a little San Diego example,
Speaker 1: what do you. What are you going down? I'm actually
Speaker 1: going to del morow on closing day? Oh is that
Speaker 1: this weekend? Is that Monday? Yeah? Monday, Yeah, Labor Day.
Speaker 1: So I gotta go down there for work one day
Speaker 1: and then down there I'm Monday to play a little bit.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna make a weekend out of it. Are
Speaker 1: you gonna see my guy, Marlin's Man? Are you gonna
Speaker 1: check out Marlin's Man, friend of the show. I gotta like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I can't call him marlins Man. Like, what's his
Speaker 1: real name? His name is Lawrence, but I call him
Speaker 1: Marlin's Man. When I talked to hey, Marlin's Man, I
Speaker 1: don't remember. I often forget his name, his real name,
Speaker 1: because to me, he's a superhero. People get very snip
Speaker 1: by that. But he's the fans superhero, just like Clipper Darryl.
Speaker 1: I call him Clipper Darrell. I don't call him Daryl.
Speaker 1: I call him Clipper Daryl. He says that means if
Speaker 1: you approach, if you approach Neon Dion, will you call
Speaker 1: him Coach Sanders or will you call him Dion Sanders.
Speaker 1: I'll call him all he wants to be called coach Prime, Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Uh no, I'm bummed out. I guess I don't know
Speaker 1: if I told that story here on the podcast. I
Speaker 1: don't think I did yesterday. I'm trying to remember. It's
Speaker 1: just a haze right now. It's a steeple chase, a
Speaker 1: lot of obstacles. But I I had to turn down
Speaker 1: marlins Man twice. This one, Yeah, Monday, he was at
Speaker 1: the Dodger Braves game and he he texts me in
Speaker 1: the afternoon and he's like, hey, I got a ticket
Speaker 1: and you know v I p right behind him. PLATE
Speaker 1: want you to be my guest. And I couldn't do it,
Speaker 1: I think the show because I had to prepare for
Speaker 1: the show. And uh, you know when you go with
Speaker 1: Marlin's Man, there's like a cavalcadeo. You know, it's a
Speaker 1: big to do. You know, he's like a super people.
Speaker 1: Kids want to take pictures with him, he signs autographs,
Speaker 1: you know, adults are asking like, what the hell are
Speaker 1: you doing to go to all these games? How can
Speaker 1: you afford this? Um, So there's a lot going on
Speaker 1: and I I couldn't do it because it was it
Speaker 1: was I was just not available because to get ready
Speaker 1: for the show. Believe it or not, I don't just
Speaker 1: roll into the studio. I have to. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of preparation that goes into it. Yeah, and you you
Speaker 1: can't roll anymore anyway. You'll bang your knee and cut
Speaker 1: it up and fall it on the ground, and exactly,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do that. So so anyway, so
Speaker 1: that happened. And then it was funny because he Marlin's
Speaker 1: Man was texting me during the game. I was watching
Speaker 1: the Dodger game. I had it on in the studio,
Speaker 1: and Marlin's Man was texting me and he had a Pablo,
Speaker 1: the guy from Channel eleven. Uh, I forget his last name.
Speaker 1: Good guy. He's from Miami, so he knows Marlin's Man.
Speaker 1: So Marlin's Man is like, hey, this guy came instead
Speaker 1: of you. And then they were busting my balls, both
Speaker 1: of them, back and forth. Channel eleven here now A obviously.
Speaker 1: And then and then on Wednesday, while I woke up,
Speaker 1: I I got a bunch of texts like Marlin's Man
Speaker 1: is on a plane flying into l A's like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm on my way to l A. I want you
Speaker 1: to go to the game tonight. And again I had
Speaker 1: to I had to turn him down. So Hopefully he
Speaker 1: does not hold the grudge against me, so I we'll
Speaker 1: find out. But I did tell him once the playoffs
Speaker 1: come around, I will adjust my schedule because in the playoffs,
Speaker 1: we we'll talk about a baseball game like a Dodger
Speaker 1: playoff game. We'll do a whole thing on it. But
Speaker 1: we're not gonna do a whole thing regular season Dodger game.
Speaker 1: And it's just not realistic unless unless Kenny Jansen goes
Speaker 1: out and ships the bed then we can do that.
Speaker 1: Or kersha, Yeah, well, kersha, he's like a rumor. He
Speaker 1: hadn't when's the last time Kershaw told the rubber It's
Speaker 1: been a while, right, maybe like, yeah, it's been forever
Speaker 1: mayor early June. He's been out forever. Kershaw's season is, uh,
Speaker 1: it's not so good, right, Who could have predicted to
Speaker 1: pay him that contract? And yeah, he couldn't see that one, right.
Speaker 1: I just have so much money. I don't think they care,
Speaker 1: you know, hatting that luxury tax that was gonna hurt
Speaker 1: a little bit. You can afford it. You can afford it,
Speaker 1: and the rest of baseball is like at the dog,
Speaker 1: they don't. Yeah, I mean this is going to improve
Speaker 1: the pot. You understand how better the pot, how much
Speaker 1: better the podcast is gonna be? Now, No, because now
Speaker 1: when we do our mailbag sessions, you're gonna have every Tom,
Speaker 1: Dick and Harry asking for you to start playing drops
Speaker 1: during you'd like to recommend to drop. Now, these are
Speaker 1: my own drops. I don't have the you know, the
Speaker 1: drops that we have from the show. These are my
Speaker 1: own drops, so I don't have. These are different drops,
Speaker 1: so and I have a limited amount. I'm still putting
Speaker 1: them in. Yeah, it's not good. Look as another as
Speaker 1: a cell phone calling in. That's a cell phone. That's
Speaker 1: like an old school Nokia flip phone. Like they don't
Speaker 1: make that more exactly. Yeah, come on, bro, you know,
Speaker 1: give me better than that problem. All right? Moving on
Speaker 1: the podcast studio, which hopefully you're hearing this we are
Speaker 1: broadcasting from who knows. I have no idea, but the
Speaker 1: podcast studio up and ringing the great Jake Warner. The
Speaker 1: first he's an answer to a tribute question Jake Warner,
Speaker 1: my former engineer Stay Awake with Jake. I was on
Speaker 1: his podcast. We talked about this and Jake said, hey,
Speaker 1: you sound internetie. You sound like crap. Can you please
Speaker 1: I can fix that. I know some things to buy.
Speaker 1: So I bought the things and he showed up, put
Speaker 1: everything together home studio, Good to Go, came out, had
Speaker 1: a great visit, set everything up. We chatted very briefly.
Speaker 1: Uh and we uh we we had success. Now that
Speaker 1: there was an issue with the cables, but we we
Speaker 1: fixed the cables. I know you're very concerned about that. Uh.
Speaker 1: And I have had no idea. I had bought in
Speaker 1: stereo cables. I thought stereo was better. But when you're
Speaker 1: recording audio content, mono is the way to go. So
Speaker 1: I learned a valuable audio lesson that winn in doubt
Speaker 1: throw the mono out, that that is the that is
Speaker 1: the way to go. So when they record you doing
Speaker 1: your own videos and the documentary too, they recorded you
Speaker 1: in mono. Yeah did. I didn't ask what they were recording,
Speaker 1: and I just just kept talking and talking and talking
Speaker 1: and talking and talking. Those things are still airing. I
Speaker 1: get email. This could be an evergreen thing. This is great.
Speaker 1: Those evergreen shows are wonderful. That reminds me September the seventh,
Speaker 1: which is a few days from now. Yeah, um, I
Speaker 1: will be making a television debut. Oh is that right,
Speaker 1: are you? Are you going on the Jerry Springer Show? No?
Speaker 1: But American Crime Story season three? Oh it's what do you?
Speaker 1: It's the Bill Clinton impeachment, So I, uh, I play
Speaker 1: a reporter that on? Is that on Netflix? No, it's
Speaker 1: on X Okay, I think Coop was talking about that.
Speaker 1: Maybe not. I feel like I've heard that somewhere, maybe
Speaker 1: it was from you. But it's on FX. Yeah, on
Speaker 1: FX September the seventh, So unless, of course they just
Speaker 1: chopped me out. But yeah, I am I'm one of'
Speaker 1: I didn't realize this when I shot it, but I'm
Speaker 1: one of four reporters that starts grilling Paula Jones and um.
Speaker 1: All the other reporters that I was with were sitting
Speaker 1: down when they asked questions, and during the press conference,
Speaker 1: I decided to stand up, like part of my part
Speaker 1: like being like, you know, aggressive and all this bullshit.
Speaker 1: So I stood up and the entire Omni Hotel was
Speaker 1: covered in people. So I made the mistake of turning around,
Speaker 1: and when I did, it was like, holy sh it,
Speaker 1: I'm actually really doing this for like hundreds of people.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of nerve racking. But yeah, we'll see
Speaker 1: how the camera likes me us. So you you filmed
Speaker 1: this and you didn't realize where you were around? Or
Speaker 1: is it just how they edited together? Has no, No,
Speaker 1: So we we go into the we go into the
Speaker 1: Omni Hotel, but we're in the front row and then
Speaker 1: they bring like a sea of extras behind us to
Speaker 1: make it look like this massive press conference about you know,
Speaker 1: obviously Bill Clinton being accused of sexual harassment. So all
Speaker 1: the questions that were asked by these reporters, they're all
Speaker 1: sitting down the front row, but they're all sitting down
Speaker 1: like they're not challenging her at all. And I just figured, like, funck,
Speaker 1: my scene. I'm not having a big role. But I
Speaker 1: felt like my scene I needed to attack her. So
Speaker 1: I got up and I started grilling her, like basically
Speaker 1: airing her out. But then I was grandstanding to like
Speaker 1: like you would be um, like what's his name from CNN?
Speaker 1: Um Anderson Cooper? No, No, who's the Georgia Costa you're
Speaker 1: talking about? Yeah, Costas. It was just like that, so Acosta,
Speaker 1: how he is with Trump? So I basically was attacking
Speaker 1: Paula Jones. But I would turn around to face the crowd,
Speaker 1: like basically have all their support. And when I did that,
Speaker 1: it was kind of like that come to Jesus moment, like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, I'm performing in front of all these people.
Speaker 1: You know, Like it's different when we're in the studio
Speaker 1: because you and I are in isolated bays. But when
Speaker 1: you're doing it in a big gass room with you know,
Speaker 1: millions of dollars worth of equipment and talent. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: got to be for a split second, Wow, you fell
Speaker 1: into the that's like curb your enthusiasm style acting right
Speaker 1: where you just add are you allowed to do that
Speaker 1: when you I don't do these acting gigs. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: did it. Yeah, And they didn't say anything like that.
Speaker 1: But sometimes people come you have to exactly like I'll
Speaker 1: get my the way I relate to that guests. Why
Speaker 1: I get a lot of commercials we voiced over for
Speaker 1: the podcast of the radio show, and it sometimes the
Speaker 1: copy will say, do not add lib. No. I always
Speaker 1: think better when you just toss extra stuff in, because
Speaker 1: I I give even when I'm doing the p s
Speaker 1: A s for Nitza on drinking and driving or or
Speaker 1: weed or whatever. I like, I'll throw some extra content.
Speaker 1: And but sometimes the people like no, you gotta word
Speaker 1: for word verbatim, and I always hate those. I like
Speaker 1: to I like to have creative license. I like to
Speaker 1: have artistic freedom. And that's because the creative directors don't
Speaker 1: like you butchering their copy. But most of the time
Speaker 1: their copy sucks, so like they don't, they don't voice
Speaker 1: that you do. And U. I had a commercial I
Speaker 1: won't say for who this week, but they the copy
Speaker 1: they gave me for a live read during the show
Speaker 1: was wrong. Uh, it was, it was. It was something.
Speaker 1: It had something to do with, Hey, check out the
Speaker 1: you know the exhibition football this weekend. There's no exhibition
Speaker 1: games this weekend. So there were some other things I
Speaker 1: had to on the on the fly, So that's cool. Sorry.
Speaker 1: How much how much you get paid for a gig
Speaker 1: like that? More than I do? It? Fox was that
Speaker 1: that could be two dollars in decent I just read.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought this up because I just read
Speaker 1: the other day and I didn't know this. The film
Speaker 1: The Thin Red Line. Yeah, you know the movie, so
Speaker 1: I did not know. But in post production, Adrian Brody
Speaker 1: in that film, he was supposed to be the lead.
Speaker 1: He went from the lead. He only had two lines
Speaker 1: of dialogue and he was just edited him out in
Speaker 1: post production. He had two lines of Donald of dialogue
Speaker 1: Billy Bob Thornton, three hours of narration that was never used.
Speaker 1: That was does he get paid for that? They gotta
Speaker 1: pay him? And Mickey Rourke can only be found in
Speaker 1: the DVD of The Thin Red Line. Now, those are
Speaker 1: all people we've heard of, so they're probably not upset
Speaker 1: about that, but we're too upset about it. But imagine
Speaker 1: if you were somebody that you hadn't heard of that
Speaker 1: I needed that movie, and then you find that you
Speaker 1: you spent all this time making The Thin Red Line
Speaker 1: and you're the lead here, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: no you're not. You only have two lines in the movie.
Speaker 1: So that'd yeah. I mean, they give you stage directions
Speaker 1: and things you need to do. But we actually shot
Speaker 1: that one scene, Like my call time was five am,
Speaker 1: and we didn't get into wardrobe and hair and makeup
Speaker 1: until eight am, and they wouldn't start shooting till twelve
Speaker 1: and then we didn't finished shooting that scene until PM.
Speaker 1: So it was like an entire day shooting one scene
Speaker 1: of one episode. It was I would I would hate that.
Speaker 1: Although you're in a group, there's a lot of people
Speaker 1: I know that do acting on the side. Yeah, which
Speaker 1: is weird because of the four reporters that were in there,
Speaker 1: Me and one of the guy, we're sports reporters or sportscasters,
Speaker 1: and the other guy is not working anymore. But what
Speaker 1: was the guy's name? Was it Jeff Witcher? I don't know,
Speaker 1: I forget. He looked like a disheveled, little like guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that that by the guy I know, Jeff Witcher, disheveled
Speaker 1: at the white guy. Oh yeah, good, it could be him.
Speaker 1: And he he used to play all of the sports
Speaker 1: reporters if they needed central casting, if they needed a
Speaker 1: sports reporter, they would go to Jeff Wicher and he hosted.
Speaker 1: He was one of the hosts of Dodger Talk back
Speaker 1: in the when I was coming up the radio ranks.
Speaker 1: Just a great guy. He's an old school He worked
Speaker 1: at k A b C in l A when that
Speaker 1: was the number one radio station, and he would tell
Speaker 1: me stories of how they treated the on air staff
Speaker 1: and it was just spoil them and they all made
Speaker 1: ridunculous money and it was like the golden age of radio.
Speaker 1: And he would do that to bust my balls, because
Speaker 1: it's not like that anymore. But he's like back back
Speaker 1: in the old days. Let me tell you, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it was amazing this, that and the other thing. And anyway,
Speaker 1: I just said his name popped in my in my head,
Speaker 1: and so I thought I would go down that road.
Speaker 1: So you want to get scientifical? Would you like to
Speaker 1: get scientifically here? We could as I'm looking for that
Speaker 1: guy or if it is the same dude that guys
Speaker 1: I know Jeff I know better, Jeff Witcher. The other
Speaker 1: one is I think it's Jeff Nasonson. I think, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's exactly who it is. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Jeff names, Yeah, yeah he I know him a little bit.
Speaker 1: I don't know him as well as Jeff Wicher, but
Speaker 1: I know him a little bit. And yeah, he worked
Speaker 1: at one of the news stations I believe, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, he he looks like a he looks like
Speaker 1: a knockoff version of Steve Hartman or Sam Farber, like
Speaker 1: like your typical eastline white talk show host, baseline radio
Speaker 1: guy that would be That would be Mo'm glad he's
Speaker 1: still he's still doing stuff. So yeah, so that's texted
Speaker 1: you his uh, his stuff. That's pretty funny. Small world.
Speaker 1: It's a small world, after all. It's a small small world,
Speaker 1: all right. Let's get scientifical here. Let's see here the
Speaker 1: worst days of the week to have your stuff stolen
Speaker 1: by a porch pirate. Monday, that is one of them.
Speaker 1: What's the other day? Friday? Now Monday and Tuesday? So
Speaker 1: is that because people have a tough weekend and they
Speaker 1: want to come back and try to get some some
Speaker 1: money and some stuff back. And I don't know, but
Speaker 1: they say those are the two days that are are
Speaker 1: the worst for that kind of I've had mail stolen
Speaker 1: here had mail stolen. I've had but the place that
Speaker 1: I live at there's the same address on the back side,
Speaker 1: it's just different. It's just a different street names, the
Speaker 1: numbers are the same. So sometimes like EPs or Amazon
Speaker 1: will deliver it to the back side property and not mine,
Speaker 1: so I don't get it for like an extended week
Speaker 1: or two. I I had a neighbor where the old place,
Speaker 1: well two places ago that I lived, and we're pretty
Speaker 1: sure that she was stealing male because the local police
Speaker 1: department sent out My wife follows them like Facebook, and
Speaker 1: they sent out a photo of someone that had been
Speaker 1: taken off a camera on a porch, you know, one
Speaker 1: of those ring camera things, and it was I'm asking god,
Speaker 1: it was this woman that lived next door, blonde woman
Speaker 1: who wore ugs all the time. And uh, and she
Speaker 1: had the same car and just like they looked almost exactly,
Speaker 1: and it had to be her. And I told my wife,
Speaker 1: we have a porch pirate that lives right next door.
Speaker 1: And she's probably not probably just looks like her all
Speaker 1: that she thinks. I all, you know, I think everyone
Speaker 1: looks the same, which is true. Actually, I think everyone
Speaker 1: kind of looks the same. I don't I'm not able
Speaker 1: to tell between between people. All Right, what else do
Speaker 1: we have here? Even untrained pet dogs, they say, can
Speaker 1: detect when their owners are about to have an epileptic seizure.
Speaker 1: That's exciting. But if the dogs not trained, what good
Speaker 1: does that do? Now? This is this is a wonderful
Speaker 1: thing that dogs help out people like this, But if
Speaker 1: you're by yourself, there's not much you can do. Right right,
Speaker 1: does not work? I don't know. I don't know how
Speaker 1: that works. But that's uh, that's an interesting one. The
Speaker 1: powers of dog, The powers of dog let's see here. Uh,
Speaker 1: your eyes. Your eyes may reveal whether or not you
Speaker 1: have heart disease. Does that? Does that move? You can't
Speaker 1: they tell through your eyes if you have UM either
Speaker 1: early onset or the potential to have Alzheimer's or dementia. Uh,
Speaker 1: that sounds sounds right to me. You know the one
Speaker 1: that I didn't know until my mom had it. But
Speaker 1: my mom had breast cancer, but then it spread to
Speaker 1: her liver and her eyes turned yellow. Uh, jaundice. I
Speaker 1: I my eyes when I was in the hospital with
Speaker 1: my gallbladder and I was all fucked up because I
Speaker 1: waited way too long to go to the hospital. Uh,
Speaker 1: my eyes were turning yellow. So that's that's a sign.
Speaker 1: If your eyes are turning your your eyes are turning yellow. Generally,
Speaker 1: that's not a good thing. That There are some cases.
Speaker 1: I remember Michael Jordan's in the documentary. People were like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, Jordan's eyes don't look right, and they said
Speaker 1: he was okay. It was just I guess it was
Speaker 1: just the way the lighting was or something like that,
Speaker 1: or he had some some condition. But it wasn't like
Speaker 1: a big they said, it wasn't a big deal. Uh,
Speaker 1: who knows one third of the population suffers from a
Speaker 1: hatred of movements, a fear of fidgeting. So I do
Speaker 1: not suffer from this. I don't What is my big
Speaker 1: pet peeve? My big pet peeve is when people drive
Speaker 1: like absolute crappola, I lose. I don't think that's a
Speaker 1: actual medical condition. I don't think. But when when people
Speaker 1: are are driving poorly or drive too slow, or don't
Speaker 1: you know, I don't care if you cut me off
Speaker 1: as long as you signal, But if not, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go like you know you are a Yeah, what happened?
Speaker 1: It's not worth my my toy is not working here?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's not Let me see here the
Speaker 1: toy turned off? What happened to my toy? Oh? I
Speaker 1: see here? There go all right. I got concerned. I
Speaker 1: thought we haven't even made it through the first podcast
Speaker 1: with this thing, and it's what's going on. It's not right.
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound a lot, it doesn't sound well, what
Speaker 1: happened to it? I didn't do anything to it. Did
Speaker 1: you charge you that? Yeah, it's charged. Yeah, the thing's charge.
Speaker 1: I don't know. What's a A. Well, it worked for
Speaker 1: like five minutes. Well, it's a good lot lasted. If
Speaker 1: you did you put a curse on it? Is that
Speaker 1: what you did? Guess God Will and the man upstairs?
Speaker 1: Did you put a curse on my toy? You can never?
Speaker 1: Does that sound right? I want to say her, hold
Speaker 1: on a second, fix it here, but this here, like this,
Speaker 1: like this in doing this live on the air, being surgery. No,
Speaker 1: still not working. Yeah, I don't know what happened. And
Speaker 1: it was working fine. I didn't even touch the thing,
Speaker 1: and it's it's what kind of what kind of device
Speaker 1: is that? I couldn't even make it a forty minute podcast?
Speaker 1: Thirty five minute podcast? My god, that's a sign, you know,
Speaker 1: that's a sign. Gast gun tap out, that's a side
Speaker 1: we gotta give up. Yeah, that's it. Throwing the towel,
Speaker 1: throwing the sponge. We'll be back with the mail Bag
Speaker 1: on Sunday. All new questions. They're gonna sound like we've
Speaker 1: heard them before, but all new questions in the mail
Speaker 1: Bag podcast on Sunday. Have a great rest of your Saturday,
Speaker 1: and that we will catch you there.