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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Alchemy this I'm your host, Kevin Pollock,

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Speaker 1: Yes that Kevin Polo That, Yes, I do think not

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Speaker 1: including the inspiring Mr Rogers documentary, won't you be my neighbor?

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Speaker 1: In the Oscar nominations? There is a legit reason the

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Speaker 1: boycott this year's festivities, But I digress, dear pimps and

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Speaker 1: pim bats. Over the years, I've seen my fair share

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Speaker 1: of alchemy. My definition alchemy is quote when a person

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Speaker 1: or a person's creates something through a seemingly magical process. Well,

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Speaker 1: one day the idea struck me right between the eyeballs.

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Speaker 1: What if I brought together the right creative people and

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Speaker 1: asked them to make stuff up based on my own

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Speaker 1: twisted ideas, and then I offered a podcast of the

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Speaker 1: seeming or magical process and I could call it alchemy.

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Speaker 1: Come back to bed? Damn it? But Peter getting cold? Well,

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Speaker 1: good peeps and boops. After a bit of titled tinkering,

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Speaker 1: I'm so very proud to present to you another episode

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Speaker 1: of Alchemy. Then let's meet our alchemists, shall we? You

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Speaker 1: know particular, order to say hello to James Eny Jimmy,

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Speaker 1: Hey Jack? Can I call him? Okay? Go ahead, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: Can I call your Martha Plumpton? So here's the problem.

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Speaker 1: I was at sketch Fest and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm in alchemy this and You're like, oh, are you

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Speaker 1: Larry Nozzle tlister Martha Plumpton? And I'm like, no, James,

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Speaker 1: he had never heard of them. So I'd really like

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Speaker 1: to just change. My work is done here, Uh, pull

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Speaker 1: over and park it. It's Vanessa Ragland Venete. What's your

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Speaker 1: favorite dessert? And or desert? I like anything that salt

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Speaker 1: on it perfectly. Well, let's crying time again because Joey

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Speaker 1: Greer is here. Greer and Barrett. What do you get

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Speaker 1: when you subtract twenty two from eight thousand, a lesser number?

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Speaker 1: Put the pot on. It's Mark gag Learts. When you

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Speaker 1: dream at night? What animals do you talk to? Most?

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Speaker 1: I talked to other humans, but they're only half humans.

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Speaker 1: Perfect yeah yeah, yeah, last, but foodie on you if

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Speaker 1: you think them leaves? It's great, kosk can any buddy Coroboway?

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Speaker 1: Whatever about the nine? It's one out in Georgia. I

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Speaker 1: don't respect the question. You had no authority? All correct answers,

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Speaker 1: all right? Uh? These scenes for today's episode are suggested

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Speaker 1: by our listener mail. That's my way of pointing fingers. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they are, in fact all listener females um. First up, though,

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Speaker 1: a follow up from a grateful listener whose fan mail

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Speaker 1: suggestion I read a couple of weeks ago that we

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Speaker 1: improvise from. That's Whitney Larson, who writes to us, thank you,

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Speaker 1: dear alchemy, this team for life in the Registrar's office

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Speaker 1: and for proving once again the higher education is all

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Speaker 1: about athletics. Sigh seriously. I closed the office briefly and

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Speaker 1: listened with my assistance and student workers. It broke the tedium.

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Speaker 1: Well that's why we do this. We broke the tedium

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Speaker 1: the TV and we all more than giggled more than giggled.

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Speaker 1: What are we looking for here? No more than giggled

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Speaker 1: more than giggle. I don't sense of gufa anywhere in

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Speaker 1: their existence. Always looking forward to what you do next,

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Speaker 1: best wit, So thank you Whitney Larson for that. Now

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Speaker 1: we have our first fan mail from the United Kingdom.

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Speaker 1: That's all we have time for today. Although this listener's

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Speaker 1: name is Barry King, I'm going to insist that given

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Speaker 1: his land of origin as well as our general ignorance

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Speaker 1: of the laws government for foreign brothers and sisters that

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Speaker 1: we refer to him as King Barry. King Barry wrote us,

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Speaker 1: good evening, folks, love love, lovely show. It's already horrible.

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Speaker 1: I thought I would share with you my idea for

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Speaker 1: seeing The Alchemists are part of a cult, the cult

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Speaker 1: that ends in a mass suicide pad. He wants us

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Speaker 1: to die once the deed is done, rather than being

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Speaker 1: transported to an alien planet or send to Heaven or

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Speaker 1: indeed take the plunge to Hell. They get stuck in

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Speaker 1: the limbo and have to try and work what work out,

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Speaker 1: what unfinished business they have to take care of it? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: a lot of backstory. Take what you will. In the meantime,

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Speaker 1: Satan and God try to persuade each of them. This

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Speaker 1: is a photo arresting spot. I'm only halfway through the

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Speaker 1: leg It's a letter even he signed. Yeah you know,

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Speaker 1: he wrote with a quill. Keep out the good work,

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Speaker 1: King Barry from england Shire. Alright, so we now take

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Speaker 1: you to limbo. Uh where souls are lost? Uh? Can

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Speaker 1: somebody help me find my keys? Can someone help me

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Speaker 1: find my dog? You have a dog you brought a dog.

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Speaker 1: I had to leg I don't think they were bringing dogs,

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Speaker 1: and we don't need legs were Floatus's just like emotional

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Speaker 1: support bullshit because I don't know. I really I can't.

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Speaker 1: I just can't. Let's just find my dog and then

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Speaker 1: we can help you with your problem, and then I

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Speaker 1: think everyone won't be able to be fine. Why do

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Speaker 1: you need your keys, Clive so we can drive out

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Speaker 1: of here? I think we're going to be picked up

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Speaker 1: by the spaceship if we just have patience. What makes

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Speaker 1: you still believe that the spaceship is coming? Guys, I

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Speaker 1: really think that we might have. We might have picked

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Speaker 1: the wrong horse on this one with Tim. I've got

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Speaker 1: to say, nobody said that my legs would go missing.

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Speaker 1: This is a curveball. There's no spaceship. Something else is

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Speaker 1: up yet, nothing that dear leader told us has come true.

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Speaker 1: And did you notice that dear leader didn't drink it? No,

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Speaker 1: he's not here. Where's dear Leader? We don't know he

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Speaker 1: didn't drink it. I'm sure that he's just making sure

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Speaker 1: we all made it to this bus stop for the

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Speaker 1: next bus stop. It's what it kind of is. It's

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Speaker 1: like a transition, doesn't look like a bus stop to me,

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Speaker 1: he'll be here soon, and then once he's here, we

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Speaker 1: could all go together. Any quarters you've got, any quarters? Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.

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Speaker 1: I've been here for two thousand years years. How do

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Speaker 1: you know that I know that I read the stars? Well,

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Speaker 1: that's just another thing that fell off. One of the

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Speaker 1: other things that fell off. Well, my kneecaf slid down.

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Speaker 1: My teaso's are gone, which my teaso's sure, all my

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Speaker 1: hands are gone. How do we leave here? Oh, that's

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Speaker 1: not a good sign. Here you all have some unfinished

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Speaker 1: business to take care of that collectively, or like we

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Speaker 1: each have unfinished business. It looked like you're all wearing

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Speaker 1: the same kind of robes and Nike sneakers. So we

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Speaker 1: got duped, but we didn't get Are you still holding

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Speaker 1: onto this? If, of course I took the tip, will

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Speaker 1: explain what you think is going on? Because I don't

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Speaker 1: have legs in a gooey man is telling us we've

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Speaker 1: unfinished pysics, girl, just lay it out for me. I

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Speaker 1: think he's a spiritual hitchhiker trying to suck you us

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Speaker 1: off of us. Speaking of which, can I just clear

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Speaker 1: the slight real quick? How many of us had sweet

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Speaker 1: made sweet sweet love to leader? Yoh yeah, I always

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Speaker 1: made sweet sweet love too by Leader. Okay, I make

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Speaker 1: you the special. Well, yeah, let's don't keep making a

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Speaker 1: sweet sweet love. To answer your question, sir, I don't

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Speaker 1: have any change because we were told not to bring

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Speaker 1: any baggage into the afterlife, and so I'm certainly not

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Speaker 1: going to go in the afterlife with loose quarters. Also,

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Speaker 1: what would you do with quarters? Here? Let stack him up?

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Speaker 1: Maybe I can climb my way to him, you know,

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Speaker 1: not having Oh boy, no no no, no no no.

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Speaker 1: Does that mean it's hell on? No? No no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no no. You're just gonna say that to every

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Speaker 1: question I would have been on what it is? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Is this a bus stop? Again? Have you ever seen

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Speaker 1: a bus here? The bus here? Uh? Huh? Was it stopping?

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Speaker 1: Moving fast? Made a marshmallow? So you died two thousand

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Speaker 1: years ago and you've been stacking up American quarters and

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Speaker 1: you know what a bus is? What's the third degree

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Speaker 1: on this? There's more? I think we should step away

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Speaker 1: from him. He's clearly not with us. How are we

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Speaker 1: going to get out of here? And where are we going?

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Speaker 1: I don't know somebody mentioned a marshmallow bus, but I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's coming. Count on, Hello, I see some

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Speaker 1: wondering youths. Yes, yes, hello, hello? Maybe ask who you are? You?

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Speaker 1: Who are you? I am the great nipple? The right's

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Speaker 1: the great great nipple? Just looks like a giant nipple.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to say. Is there a medio? Do

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Speaker 1: we suckle? Right? That's all of you must suckle? Can't

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Speaker 1: be right from the top of your head. I mean

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Speaker 1: it just to just jumped right in there. What is

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Speaker 1: it told me to suckle? What is it like? What

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Speaker 1: you find? Great piece? Just water? Guys, I feel like

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Speaker 1: our malleability has been a problem in the past, and

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Speaker 1: this guy's just telling us to suckle him, and we're

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Speaker 1: just saying yes. Why would I say no? I have

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Speaker 1: no legs. I'm in the middle of a gooey land

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Speaker 1: with a gooey man. God is here in the first place?

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Speaker 1: Change immediately? Did you guys also give all of your

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Speaker 1: life savings? Yeah? Yeah, but what were you going to

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Speaker 1: use him for a while? Going to a higher place?

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Speaker 1: And I think it's why he's not here. What's he

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Speaker 1: going to do with all that junk? You're still on

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Speaker 1: the is it getting better? Everyone drink from my well,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. She's throwing. If you drink from money,

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Speaker 1: you will meet Nirvana. We'll meet Nirvana. They're here. Dave

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Speaker 1: Grol was still alive at the time that we died.

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Speaker 1: Things happen? Man look looking like who want to meet

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Speaker 1: the Nirvana? I don't know. I don't mean to be

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Speaker 1: in a hurry of any kind, But how do we

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Speaker 1: get out of here? Drink from guy? You two is here? Also,

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Speaker 1: you too is here? They were almost what happened? How

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Speaker 1: many people drank the koolaid? I mean, I think all

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Speaker 1: six of us. You're talking metaphorically or literally literally? Well,

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Speaker 1: I bought in to the belief system, and I also

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Speaker 1: drank the kolid Okay, but wait, just the six of us,

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Speaker 1: the hundreds of us in this in this group, are

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Speaker 1: we the only ones who fell for them? Well, dear

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Speaker 1: leader told me I was special. I didn't realize told

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Speaker 1: me five other special people. Yeah, he told me I

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Speaker 1: was special, was special. He told me I was special

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Speaker 1: while he made love to me. That's when he told

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Speaker 1: me while he was making love to him. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: well he was making love to me. But he told

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Speaker 1: me I was the only one, so I thought it

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Speaker 1: was just gonna be me and him here. But you

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Speaker 1: guys are cool, hey kids looking to make them love?

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Speaker 1: Is that what I'm hearing? Oh my god, I heard

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Speaker 1: one of you look curious about how to get out

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Speaker 1: of here, and we're supposed to be going up. Nipple

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Speaker 1: is misdirecting. Don't fall for the nipple game. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's a newcomer thing everybody does. Don't feel to be

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Speaker 1: mad about it. But I've got a way out, really,

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Speaker 1: except for this one over here says I'm about going up.

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Speaker 1: We're definitely not going But no, I'm supposed to be

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Speaker 1: going to a higher place and you're supposed to be

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Speaker 1: in than there is, and you can add one or

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Speaker 1: the other supposed to be. He's gonna keep you here.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, where wherever we're going is worser better

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Speaker 1: than where we are now? It's a lot better. This

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Speaker 1: is this is yeah, whole lot of nothing. And you're

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Speaker 1: saying it's going in a different direction than up. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you keep signaling on an upward fashion. We're pointing down.

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Speaker 1: We're not going up. Yeah, why are you pointing down?

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Speaker 1: Because that's where we're here? Is that hell is hell real?

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Speaker 1: Give it a name. Were already given a name. We

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Speaker 1: could give it a name, is my point? Are we

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Speaker 1: going to Debora? I haven't aunt Debora. I love that name.

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Speaker 1: She loves you, she does love I knew this could

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Speaker 1: turnaround much better. Nipple too, if I could say so.

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Speaker 1: I got six of them, six nipples. That's the nipple

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Speaker 1: for each of it. It turns out that's gonna work out.

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Speaker 1: Just too good to be true? Well that see, that's

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Speaker 1: the thing about it, is it. It sounds too good

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Speaker 1: to be true, and it's not too good to be true.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's just good true. It's just true. It's

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Speaker 1: also not true. And you meant to wait what I

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Speaker 1: just need some paperwork? Sign? You have medals on your chests.

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Speaker 1: Were you a soldier in the past life? Many many

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Speaker 1: soldiers and passed through this life. Yes, that's for sure.

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Speaker 1: So you weren't a soldier. You just stole their medals.

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Speaker 1: You have been through this before. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to break it to you, but this is not your

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Speaker 1: first trip. Yeah, I mean, I could break it all

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Speaker 1: down for you individually, or you could just take no

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Speaker 1: word for break it down individual. What was your name?

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Speaker 1: Jim Jim. My name is Tim Jim. Yeah, all right,

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Speaker 1: Jim Jim. So you were a philistine originally philistine? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: by name a car. Yeah, and uh you died in

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Speaker 1: a fight? Cool y, Yeah, it was embarrassing for your family.

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Speaker 1: You didn't fight, well, you were a bit of a coward.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't even a fight. You were attacked and you

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Speaker 1: cried and then died. And this was thousands of years ago. Sure,

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Speaker 1: sure it was all right. Well, do you know you're

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Speaker 1: a chim Chum. No, I'm not. That's Jim Chum. Names on,

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Speaker 1: you're a check my record here, you're a filistine. That

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Speaker 1: was everything. If we all were just so we weren't,

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Speaker 1: if we all were just, then we can just wrap

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Speaker 1: that up and then move on to the individuals. Do

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Speaker 1: we all have the same backstory? The first two philistines?

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Speaker 1: That's all. It was a coincidence. Okay, just take us

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Speaker 1: to Tapra. Alright, alright by me? Wait wait wait, wait, wait,

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Speaker 1: hold on a second, are you the are you the devil?

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Speaker 1: Are you trying to trick us? Is that what's happening

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Speaker 1: right here? That name? Okay, are you about another name

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Speaker 1: is a favorite of mine? So we know that. No,

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Speaker 1: I'll stay I'll stay here, you stay here in anybody

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Speaker 1: want to get Yes, yes, the fst beallow bus up

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Speaker 1: on the bushmallows, the bicest, longest hair. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: picking us up, No problem. We almost got tricked by

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Speaker 1: the devil, did you? And you probably did get tricked

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Speaker 1: by that nipple guy dude, didn't we suck? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he'll do that. And then before that this while our

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Speaker 1: great leader we were drinking. I mean, it's just been

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Speaker 1: a crazy I have no idea of time anymore, but

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Speaker 1: it's been a crazy a little while. So it's so

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Speaker 1: going to be more so comfortable. Oh sure, sure, sure,

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Speaker 1: well you know you sitting down, relax, enjoy the marshmallows,

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Speaker 1: and we'll get you guys to Debora in no time. Debra. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is the bus to Deborah. To tell us more

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Speaker 1: about Debora. Oh Debora. Yeah, sure, she's a she's a

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Speaker 1: beautiful place. Yeah, she's a real wonderful, wonderful place, real

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Speaker 1: hot fires and uh, maybe it's not the same Deborah.

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Speaker 1: It's going to be a different Oh no, this is

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Speaker 1: the Debora that is also called Hello. You guys wanted

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Speaker 1: the bus on the other side of the street. That's

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Speaker 1: why it's getting where to Oh that bus, That bus

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Speaker 1: goes to Hank. Oh yeah, Hank Heaven. Well, some folks

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Speaker 1: call it Heaven, but then we call it that's what

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Speaker 1: we were calling. Well most most people around here call

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Speaker 1: it Hank. No, well, there's there's less fires there. Oh sure, sure,

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Speaker 1: a lot less fire, way more clouds that. Do we

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Speaker 1: need a transfer to get onto Hank. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to see I'm gonna need to see

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Speaker 1: all of your I D s though, and everybody's gonna

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Speaker 1: have to hold up their keys. Were That's the thing

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Speaker 1: we weren't allowed to bring anything. Do you have any

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Speaker 1: American quarters? American American leg I had a complete set

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Speaker 1: of all the state quarters with the landmarks on the

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Speaker 1: How long have you been driving the bus to Debora?

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Speaker 1: Oh gosh, probably since the Philistines got on this thing,

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Speaker 1: long long time. And why are you still stuck here? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm more of a ferryman than than stuck here.

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Speaker 1: Oh I I go home, go home every night. At

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, we're supposed to pay the ferryman,

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Speaker 1: pay the ferry. We don't have any coins. Yes, that's

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Speaker 1: the thing. Well, we do have song, we have the

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Speaker 1: gift a song you hold on a second. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: we can also make sweet long anymore because we can't

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Speaker 1: pay for it. Well, that just did that work. I

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Speaker 1: can't tell you how fond I am of that motion

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Speaker 1: picture of the Top Gun. And that just made me

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Speaker 1: think of it. And I'll be daring if I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to drive you all the hank right now. I

292
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Speaker 1: just have one question. Is there a movie night here?

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00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, there's a movie night you get

294
00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 1: all the latest pictures from as you said, America. Look,

295
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Speaker 1: let's not get to uh, because I feel again we're

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Speaker 1: being duped. We failed for the kool aid. Some of

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Speaker 1: you guys drip drink from drank from the nipple. I mean,

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Speaker 1: how much more are we gonna fall for? How do

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Speaker 1: you know about top Gun? You've been here since the Philistines?

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Speaker 1: I mean, what's happening? Well, we get I'm caught, Yes,

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Speaker 1: what's what do you mean? You're car what are you excited?

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Speaker 1: Every episode of Colombo, I finally figured something. Yes, this

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00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: is hurting us, but you don't want to get duped again.

304
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 1: But then you have figured simping out before the poison.

305
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Speaker 1: Don't take the I'm a millennial. Remind me of what

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Speaker 1: Colombo is. Colombo was a TV show back during phil

307
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Speaker 1: Was that a dog on this guy? The cop? The

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Speaker 1: cops are pulling the bus, so this is goodforcement pull

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Speaker 1: that bus to the side, alight, alright, pulling over. It

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Speaker 1: seems to be a problem. I need to see everyone's

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00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 1: and everyone's quarters. Everyone's quarters? We don't have ideas? Are

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00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,880
Speaker 1: quarters all? This bus is gonna get under arrest. Get

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Speaker 1: free to go, bus driver. Thanks later, we're coming the

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Speaker 1: biggest cups. I'm locking this bus down. No one's coming

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Speaker 1: in or out of this bus? What what? Why? What

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00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,959
Speaker 1: have we done? You don't have your quarters than that?

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00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, really, look, this bus is illegally registered.

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Speaker 1: Bus's march metal ain't supposed to be on the road,

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Speaker 1: are we you're Limbo on the way to Deborah and

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Speaker 1: you're well we were almost on the way to hang

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Speaker 1: Well the bus is going on. What it looked like

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Speaker 1: it didn't turn around, now, did it? Man? Limbo cops

323
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Speaker 1: are harsh. You'd think they'd be more ambiguous. No, no, no,

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00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 1: we're pretty straightforward about this. The hard line. We got

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00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 1: Limbos the rhythm. We're gonna have to pay for that.

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00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to pay for that. Uh, miss officer, Yeah,

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00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 1: is this what you really want to be doing with

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Speaker 1: the rest of your life? Talk to me? Good thought

329
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 1: about that? I was created without any genitally and forced

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00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:33,119
Speaker 1: to write lord of this realm and police in the

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00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,679
Speaker 1: way that would allow only the right souls to go

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Speaker 1: where they need to be. And what if we could

333
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 1: promise you a more enlightened can't promise me that? Were

334
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 1: you saying this stuff greatly? Yeah, we can't. We can't

335
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 1: if you give if you give us your worldly possessions

336
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 1: or other worldly let me have that batch things that

337
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 1: you don't actually need to be happy. I want to

338
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 1: make love and just I have no genitali or holes exactly.

339
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 1: That's what problem. We can show you that happiness. Are

340
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 1: you ready? Are you're gonna cut me open or some Yeah? Sure,

341
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 1: that's my name. Give me that limbo stick. Okay, he's

342
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 1: got hold now, Now I got hold? Now quarters gets

343
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 1: the quarters opened like a pinata and spit out quarters.

344
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: My god, you're a monster. Maybe you do belong in Deborah.

345
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: And there we have King Barry's fantasy come to live

346
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: exactly the way he wanted it. Yeah. If that doesn't brexit,

347
00:21:54,280 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what will. Uh scene too from Jonah

348
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 1: Bloom or Blum b l u m blum jam. Oh

349
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: it is Jonah blamerik Jonah Blom who wrote, Hi, that's

350
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: it weird. Hi. I used to be a public librarian bragging,

351
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: and I saw all kinds of weird ship. One time

352
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 1: I had to call the police on an elderly gentleman

353
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,399
Speaker 1: who lost it because we didn't have any porno DVDs

354
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 1: for borrowing. Not the scene suggestion. I would love to

355
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: hear a librarian trying to field people's questions or their

356
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: excuses for late fees. The podcast is hysterical. I look

357
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: forward to it every Thursday. Parole Board and the therapist

358
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 1: therapists are my favorites. Fantast stick job. Thanks for making

359
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 1: such great, unique content. Best Jonah Blumstein. Can you watch

360
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 1: porn DVDs at the library one of those private PEP

361
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 1: showrooms and they have at the Bourbank Public Library. Let's

362
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 1: go to the library now and find out. This can't

363
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,439
Speaker 1: be a correct number. I I turned those those books

364
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: in on time. I there must be a mistake in

365
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: your system. The system doesn't make you want to take it. Okay.

366
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: I just want to check this new book out, and

367
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 1: I don't have any money with me today, so just please,

368
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 1: Oh you can't, sir. The system doesn't make mistakes. I'm

369
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 1: looking at the screen. The screen tells no lies. I mean,

370
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 1: nobody was going to use that book. It's it was

371
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: only that, sir. That sounds like an admission of guilt. No,

372
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, even if it was worst case theory

373
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,640
Speaker 1: and nobody's gonna how many people read Where the Red

374
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: Fern Grocery Stays. It's no old book. A lot of

375
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: people read that book. People like to cry to that book.

376
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: So you can just march your homie right out of

377
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: here and come back with seventeen dollars and seventies six cents.

378
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: It's just that that book doesn't even cost that much money.

379
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 1: I could buy three. That's not the way we do

380
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 1: are math here, sir. There's a line. Okay, I'm trying

381
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 1: to finish up with customers. Okay, So sir, you're at two.

382
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 1: Doesn't bode well for the way this is gonna. If

383
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 1: I could just maybe take this book out and then

384
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 1: next time we'll return to Hamburger today and pay it

385
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: for that later too. You're embarrassing me. Okay, fine, fine,

386
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: I'll come back. We can read it on the bean

387
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,919
Speaker 1: bag if you want in the shame corner. Okay, all right,

388
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 1: I will. I want to bring back all these DVDs

389
00:24:54,320 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: and about some came bat and getting some new ones. Okay, Um,

390
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: these have scratches on them. What do you mean the discs?

391
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 1: Excuse you everyone, if you need to cough, go outside.

392
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: The DVDs are scratched, the disks are damaged. But I

393
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 1: don't think so let's pop on it into what I

394
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 1: mean my co suter doesn't have a disc? Right? Well,

395
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 1: how would you know whether it's actually damaged or not?

396
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 1: Because they can see the scratch. There's cat hair and

397
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: a scratch. I might have used one as a coaster.

398
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 1: The point is they weren't all perfect when I got Oh,

399
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: I check every disc when it comes in and certain

400
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 1: you want us two hundred dollars two hundred dollars, yes, yeah,

401
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: and for a disorderly conduct? But what excuse me? There's

402
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: a line for him, and can we move it along? Okay, look,

403
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna can I give you a credit card? You

404
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 1: can you can give me a credit card, but I

405
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: can't run it. We don't accept cards. What does this mean?

406
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: You should watch personal chat? Personal checks are cash? Yes,

407
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 1: and ruined Battlestar Galactica for everyone. Well, if you ruined

408
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: it for everyone, yes, but if you look closer, it

409
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: says the girls of Battlestar Galactic girls a battles Is

410
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: this from our collection? I'm donating it. This is a donation. Yes,

411
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 1: we can't accept this. Well, you can't. It's got a

412
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 1: cat scratch and it's and I don't understand. This is

413
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: a born now, mom, Yes, there are children here, Okay,

414
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 1: they shouldn't watch it. Absolutely. You gotta take this porno

415
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 1: and leave. Well, I tell you what, why don't I

416
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 1: leave it? Welcome back, I'm just watch you don't know.

417
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna whoever. I'm still disconnected from my sexual

418
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: I wouldn't never do this, Yes, but I'll tell you one.

419
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: I'll leave it for a week and let's see if

420
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: anybody wants and I'll come back in a week. If

421
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 1: they don't want it, I'll take it. That is that

422
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 1: the girl's a Battlestar Galactica. I'll take it off your hand.

423
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not I can't. I cannot broker that transaction.

424
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: Wouldn't meet me in the park because the disc is

425
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: in my hand. I will not give it back. I

426
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: will not broker the transaction. And I don't watch porno.

427
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 1: You don't need to have an orcasm to be a person.

428
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: Just for the record, you can be very sad as

429
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 1: without ever having an orcasm. Somebody's gonna have an orgasm

430
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: to make a person at some point. No, you don't,

431
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: that's not true. All right, Well, sir, the fellow doesn't

432
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: need to come to a conclusion. Though you don't have

433
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 1: to call it what you said. There is the ordcast.

434
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm putting this girl's a Battlestar Galactica in

435
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: the file cabinet. Okay, under yuck? Why what else is

436
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: in the yuck file? If you weather donations, we've gotten

437
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: such a I don't have to tell you that. Cats

438
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 1: and People it's a five disc collection called Cats and

439
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: People and it's despicable. Is it German? It is German

440
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 1: Cats and people. That's one word, cats and people. Oddly enough,

441
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 1: my last name is cats and people, Cats and people.

442
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: I'm Heinrich cats and People, and I'm very old. First

443
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: of all, let me get that out of My mother

444
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: just died, so you can leave filth monger, Mr Cats

445
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: and People. I found I found a book that I

446
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: was cleaning up my mother's place, and a book that

447
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: she had borrowed from the library long long ago. And

448
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 1: I thought I'd be a good samaritan and come and

449
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: return it. Oh, well, that's wonderful. We could use more

450
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: like you. Here you go, here's here's the book. Five

451
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: five dollars. Oh no, I'm just returning the book. That

452
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,719
Speaker 1: mother must have had it for years. And she did

453
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: have it for years. She had it for seven years. Okay,

454
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: as a line farman, we can't see. Can't the feed

455
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: just be waived because of what a good story this is.

456
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: That's not the way fees work or stories don't. The

457
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: fees get capped at a certain point. I think it

458
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: capped at six thousand dollars. You would never pay a

459
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: cent over six thousand to the public library. Oh, I

460
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: see that. That's your policy. Mr cats and People. Keep

461
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: it down. Write the check unless you have cash, or

462
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: do you want to become property of the public life Maybe, sir,

463
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 1: do you want to become property of the public life,

464
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: become properly of the public. You've entered into a contract.

465
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: Your mother entered into to it, and when she died,

466
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: that contract came under your name. So now you pay

467
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: up or you become property in the public library. Please

468
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: don't put me in the drawer. Oh honey, you're not

469
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 1: going to fit in the U drawer. We got a

470
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: bigger area for you. Am I to understand you are

471
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: surrendering yourself to the public library. Mr Cat So I

472
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: can't pay the fee, and you will give the y man.

473
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: Glad that guy's gone. Have me to you have where

474
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: the red fern grows? Oh funny, you should mention that. Yeah,

475
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: it is. Most people cry to It's very sad, but

476
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: it is. Unfortunately we don't have a copy of this library.

477
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 1: I can put in for an order from another branch

478
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: and we can get it here in about eight weeks.

479
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: Eight weeks. Well, my book report is due a lot

480
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: sooner than that. Quick point. Yeah, um, do you have

481
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: any um? Give those so it? You can't smoke pipe

482
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 1: in here? Sorry? Can can I smoke a cigar in here?

483
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: You can hold a cigar and gesture, but you can't

484
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: light it. Okay, that's that's fine. Can I smoke this

485
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: hooka in here? No? You can? You can display the hookah,

486
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 1: I can display them. Yes, you can load the hookah,

487
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: you can feel them. Let me load up this hooka,

488
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: display it all right? Here, here's my hookah. There you

489
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: go within reason? All right? If you don't have where

490
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: the red fern grows? Do you have that? You have

491
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: cats and people disc? Four? I'm sorry? Do you have

492
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: cats and people? Disc for? It's not an artificial collection,

493
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: but is it in your young drawer? I can't say

494
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 1: that on the record, sir. Oh no, I don't need

495
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: the record. I need the DVD. I can't broker that

496
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: transaction with your library card. Well how about how about

497
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 1: with this this stick of gum that's in my pocket?

498
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: Not enough? Okay, the whole pack? Then more? Jeez? Alright,

499
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: give hers alright, there's a law in form in here?

500
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, al right, Here, here's forty bucks and and

501
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: my hookah. Thank you? How you doing? I'm having a day? Hey,

502
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, allowed to donate blood? Um? We

503
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 1: don't have a blood drive here, sir? Already punctured it. Yea, yeah,

504
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't have a way to collect that sir,

505
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: we don't have a way to collect that. I'll take

506
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: that water bottle by you can, I can. I take

507
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: out some cigarettes, but you can't like them. And sir,

508
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: you were gushing in the public. It's okay, okay, it's okay.

509
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: As long as I got my feet, I'm fine. I'll

510
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,959
Speaker 1: take some cigarettes and get your feet. As long as

511
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: you've got your feet. I got my feet. I'm okay.

512
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 1: Help help, help, help, help help, um you know, I

513
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 1: just I need to tap out him my shift right now. Okay,

514
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: I'll follow you to the parking Please don't bleeding man,

515
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 1: bleeding man? Okay, where did you get the cigarettes? Where

516
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: do I keep the cigarettes? Yes, I'm trading blood for cigarettes. No, no,

517
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 1: where did you get this information. There's a public bank.

518
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: This is a library. This is a public library, not

519
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: a blood drive. This is not a blood bank. This

520
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with cigarettes. You can dislike them,

521
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: but you can't light them. Okay, I'm gonna take a sleep.

522
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: Oh I'm gonna sleep here is that? Okay, go on

523
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: the bean bag. I'm sitting here. You can't just I'm sorry.

524
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 1: I know I'm using this to he's bleeding and dying

525
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: on you. Well, then let me have my feedback. Hey,

526
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: is that where the red fern grows? I'm not turning

527
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: it in. I'm not ready to turn it in, sir.

528
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: They want me to pay an overdue fee. Oh, six

529
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, No, seventeen dollars. That's nothing. Pay the fee,

530
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 1: give me the book. I don't have any money. And

531
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: this guy's bleeding all over the books. How it's ruined? Anyways,

532
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: go outside and smoked my pipe. And that was one

533
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: of the craziest days we've ever had at this library.

534
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: And I've been a captive here ever since. Your kids

535
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 1: have any questions, we have a question? Yeah, Well, when

536
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 1: you said that you were part of the navy and

537
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,720
Speaker 1: that you were promoted because of valor? Is valor because

538
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 1: of time? Is valor because of time? I thought that

539
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 1: what I wanted to know you also wanted to know

540
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: is val because of Well, uh, that really wasn't that

541
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: I mentioned off handedly at the beginning of the story

542
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: that I served in the Navy. Why The main point

543
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: was that I was taken captain by this library twins

544
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 1: twenty years ago, when I was already very elderly, and

545
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 1: I've been kept here as a resource ever since? Is

546
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 1: a source of or a product of? We don't know.

547
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: This isn't a story about Valor? Store store? Where can

548
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 1: we come on purchase Valor? Can you purchase valid? Oh?

549
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 1: Does it live in your heart? It's got to live

550
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 1: in your heart. That's a good point. Any other any

551
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 1: other questions? I have a question? Okay, is it about Valor?

552
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,720
Speaker 1: All right? What? What is it? Understand? Any her military

553
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: grows in any country. Development of the Navy in the

554
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: American military system. At what point do you think it

555
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: became as strong as the United Kingdoms Navy? That was

556
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: also my follow up question. Oh Jesus, I I don't

557
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 1: know the answer to that question. Do you think it? Look? Uh?

558
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: Let me send you to h to the the eight

559
00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 1: hundred section of nonfiction and that will you can learn

560
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 1: about world history there and the United Kingdom the same,

561
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: but you're different. Wales is part of the United Kingdom,

562
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: I believe is do you think wex it's gonna make

563
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 1: a big difference in the split between Northern Ireland and

564
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: wed Yo Ireland? What is what is up with that

565
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 1: speech impediment? Kid? I've been made fun of it from

566
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: a whole wife. You have a wife? Oh, my Oh, okay,

567
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 1: I get it. Oh, Mr Cats and people, please sit

568
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: down in the chair. All right, you have been making

569
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 1: fun of children. I have never been making You made

570
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 1: fun of a child's speech impediment just today. Look, I'm

571
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: here at the library. Is a resource. You are owned

572
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 1: by the library. And until I work off my fee,

573
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: haven't I How what am I at now? Well that's

574
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 1: why I brought you intoday. You've worked off your fee.

575
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 1: But the world's changed, Cats and pull, the world's changed.

576
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: I don't think you even want to go out there?

577
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: Well I do. I do. I need to see the

578
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: rest of my family. Then they didn't come to visit

579
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: me once. No, they didn't. They didn't. And do you

580
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 1: know where your family is now? Me? Neither. We'll find

581
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 1: him twenty years later. It's crazy. But here's your paperwork

582
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 1: right here. You sign it. You can walk out those

583
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: doors a free man. What's the catch? There's no catch.

584
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: We don't want your raggedy yes old man talking ship

585
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: the little children about their lisp. So we're gonna let

586
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: you go sign the papers and walk out the door

587
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:43,240
Speaker 1: and never come back. All right, I'll sign the papers

588
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: and I'll take my girls a Battlestar Galactica DVD that

589
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 1: I was promised so many years ago in the yuck drawer. Yes,

590
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: I'll try to find it right away. Is that your property?

591
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: I don't see that it is my property. It was

592
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: never properly, but it should be right there in the ductura. God,

593
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 1: I haven't looked at the ductor in a long time. Well,

594
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: we'll do our best right now. I'll ever since that

595
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: librarian died a horrible death, another one of the crazy

596
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: stories here at the library. Did you die that? That's

597
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: not a very good story for you. Well, it was horrible.

598
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: It was shortly thereafter that bloody man came into the library.

599
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna sleep here. I'm sleep here, Okay.

600
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if this sleep or death? Is this

601
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: sleep or death? It's slef sleft. You can't bleed on

602
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 1: the books or the Can someone help me? Can someone

603
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 1: help me? I am not trained for this. Can someone

604
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 1: help me? What do you There's a man dye over here,

605
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: and there's no one at my post at the desk,

606
00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,959
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do in the phone,

607
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: and you look after the dead guy? Oh no, opposite, Please,

608
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 1: you want me to look after it dead guy. I

609
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: mean I'll call the police. That's that's what I would

610
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: love to do. Yeah, oh, do you have a phone? Yeah?

611
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 1: Officers sold fox done. Oh let me drag him out

612
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: of here. Hey, sorry about your immin horrible death. Lady,

613
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 1: pardon me, officer, officer, pardon me. Bump bump, bump, bump.

614
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: Don't don't don't. You're a limbo. Limbo. I've heard the

615
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 1: music and I knew it. Damn it, cure lady. I

616
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: don't want to suckle at it tastes like that nipple.

617
00:39:51,719 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 1: I know I sucked on your earlier. Hey there, Oh,

618
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 1: we got time for just one more. It's been a

619
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: long weekend from Jonathan Brutch, who wrote recently discovered the

620
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 1: podcast thanks to forceful marketing tactics and decided team is affective.

621
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: Finally the armed people have showed up at your door

622
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: uh and decided to give into our advertising overlords. It

623
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 1: is Sue many osan superb Vanessa Raglan almost caused me

624
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: to have a car accident due to laughing so hard.

625
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: Singled you out, sary, single out anyway. I have a

626
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 1: suggestion or two, and then he only gave one. Um,

627
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 1: I would love to hear a scene based off of

628
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: the TV show Shark Tank or an art gallery theft.

629
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: Oh so we did give to a crack shot team

630
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 1: of art thieves break into a large art gallery and

631
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 1: then what presented to Shark Tank. I don't know who

632
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 1: doesn't love a good heist. That is all for now,

633
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 1: keep up the great work. Uh, And that, of course

634
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: is from Jonathan Brutch. So let's let's go to an

635
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 1: art museum after hours and see what happens there. I

636
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 1: need an extra pair of gloves. He's got the gloves

637
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 1: I do right here. Okay, were told they'll bring our

638
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: own gloves. I understand your game. Just need I forgot.

639
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 1: I have an extra pair to take you there. Whoa, oh,

640
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: I guess it's nobody. I thought I sword Ninja sounds. Hey, guys,

641
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: are you still in the box? If someone wants to

642
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: open the box? Kiev, Kiev, Why do you make those noises?

643
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 1: Why do you make then nine noises? Don't make any noise?

644
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: Just go flat against the wall. Also, you're doing it

645
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,280
Speaker 1: with your mouth man. Yeah, just don't make any noises.

646
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: I mean, if you fold the guard we trained that

647
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: is how you hide from guard. Yeah, but that's exactly

648
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:16,399
Speaker 1: what the guard is listening for. No kid, you stop

649
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:20,359
Speaker 1: making any noises stopping if someone go open the box,

650
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 1: So like I fold myself. You know, let's just open

651
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: the box because it's not for already. Hose comes out

652
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,280
Speaker 1: of the box and we get close to the statue.

653
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 1: Okay here, you know that's the plan. But I feel like,

654
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: why are we not going by the place and the

655
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: one person folding into a box? But you know that

656
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 1: was gonna happen if you didn't bring clubs. Stop making

657
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 1: over shut the fun mands. I don't know where. Let's

658
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:56,399
Speaker 1: just be in my head that was not shot. Why

659
00:42:56,560 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 1: would you make those sounds making girls selves our authentic ninjaself?

660
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 1: Just make them when we're being looked at or or

661
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 1: or yelled at. Look you are your kiv. Yes, you'll

662
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: get your kia. Okay, you know what those are? Authentic

663
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: ninja sounds. It sounds like a train does keep out

664
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: of the box. Please you want Rose? Kick get up on? Okay, fine, Rose,

665
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: if you if you cut the box, you got to

666
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: get back in the box. You understand that. I of

667
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: course I understand how to get take in the box.

668
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: If I keep out the box. When someone has to

669
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: take the lid off so I can get out of

670
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 1: the box. Unlock the un please, ye okay, here you

671
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 1: go and it enters your box. Open the box is

672
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:42,240
Speaker 1: not open. It's opening your mon, you're the best code

673
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: cracker around. We've set the code all right down, the

674
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 1: code making digits to no one guess and it's only one.

675
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 1: The guy likes to give himself a challenge. But inside

676
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 1: the box he has a fine am out of oxygen

677
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 1: in that box. So I'm sorry. When did this gang

678
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 1: that couldn't shoot straight? Thing happen? Back at the hide out?

679
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: We it was all planned out. It was step by step.

680
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: You were going to put the code and she was

681
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 1: gonna get in the box. You're gonna let her out.

682
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, And when I get out, that can

683
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: kind of beam. I can get the art. I can

684
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 1: go back in the box. But I can do that

685
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 1: in here. And as Gregor has pointed out, there's the

686
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: ocydn't start to get Rose does everything. That was the plan.

687
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 1: The four of us get the box here and we

688
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,320
Speaker 1: let her out. She does it all. Where did my

689
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: gloves go? What did you do with the How do

690
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,919
Speaker 1: I lose the glove? The clothes. You just hands. What's

691
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: going on? That's ninja ninja. That's weird ninja ninja. I

692
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: wonder what this box is doing here? Uh, maybe I'll

693
00:44:54,120 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 1: just take this box down the storage. Oh no, oh fun,

694
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: we lost Rose. I think she'll be okay. We just

695
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 1: need to get We just need to get inside the

696
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: story unit of this museum, and that's far the box

697
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: will be. We don't have in the meantime. What's the code?

698
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 1: It's one digit, that's all I know. It's one digit.

699
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 1: And if you try zero to nine and one of

700
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: those zero to nine, there's only ten percent chance that

701
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: you get wrong. You said ninja that time, you said

702
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 1: a couple of times. Maybe you just heard it because

703
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 1: I was such a thing. Next time, we're almost caught.

704
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 1: Why don't you say karate chop like that? Don't tell

705
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 1: him that. Don't tell him that. No, don't do that. Wait,

706
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: where's your shirtcoll Where did your shirt go? Lose shirt?

707
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,720
Speaker 1: Don't get thing progressively more nude. We gotta get inside

708
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,760
Speaker 1: the story carry Look, Rose is the only one strong

709
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: enough to carry the statue. That's why she was in

710
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 1: the box. That's box. Okay, she's going to carry the

711
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,399
Speaker 1: statue into the box. We're going to take the box.

712
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: We gotta get to that box. Okay, okay, storage unit.

713
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 1: You're my only friend. It's me and smart looking at

714
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: the world, thinking about the castle. It's me, God, what

715
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 1: it's me? God, God, it's me Art. Hello, Art Man,

716
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: I love you so much. What do you mean you

717
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,279
Speaker 1: love art? Because my name is Art. That's what I mean.

718
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 1: Of course, we really. I love you so much. God,

719
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,400
Speaker 1: I love you too. I did not. I did not

720
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: expect this today. You're so special. I've been chosen for

721
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 1: something so special. What what is I put you on

722
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: this earth when your baby? Which is a one plan

723
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 1: of something so special? Lord, whatever it is, I'll do it.

724
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: So Okay, this is Here's what I mean Jesus really

725
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:11,320
Speaker 1: wanted to do. Okay, he's U. Pick a number, the

726
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 1: twin Mondean and Monday nine Mondo night. Wait, are you

727
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: doing a magic drink? I not? This is it's a

728
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: special just for you. Okay, okay, important, don't miss this

729
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 1: up number. All right, I got it. It's four. Good

730
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: job and the choosing. I hope. Aren't you going to

731
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:37,240
Speaker 1: see a box near you? It sounds like God talking

732
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: to you from in the box, and I was wondering,

733
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 1: this is a magic box art, and God is gonna

734
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 1: love you so much if you will have Him and Jesus.

735
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 1: Me um, I'm three of them on the Trinity, Jesus

736
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 1: and the Trinity. Jesus and the Trinity, and also God.

737
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 1: Of course you're two of the three. Don't cut on?

738
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 1: Wuch time art? Can you put in? You see a

739
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,840
Speaker 1: code code box on the box? Sure that's pressed the

740
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 1: four press? Just get you just pressed four? All right? Okay,

741
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 1: this is not good art initiated? Who is that? It's

742
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: not good words? Not initiated? Was that the Holy Spirit?

743
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 1: The third of the three? I mean that was the

744
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: That was the luck of initiating art. This is going

745
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 1: to be Oh, this is hurting my head. I need

746
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: a nap in the corner. And you have three guesses

747
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 1: to guess the combination or the box will explode. Oh goodness,

748
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 1: this is fun. This is fun for you. Goodness. Listen

749
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,360
Speaker 1: to God, listen to the voice in your heads. I

750
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:55,399
Speaker 1: don't know. I think I should just take a nap

751
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: and see if I can dream about what the right

752
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:02,400
Speaker 1: number is? What do you see? What's happened? What's happening?

753
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: I'm looking to the air. Dug Right now, I see

754
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 1: I think he's talking to himself. No, no, he's talking

755
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 1: to the box. He's must be talking to Rose talking.

756
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:10,840
Speaker 1: You know, she'sn't there. I don't know. I don't know

757
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 1: if she might be doing the god bit. God is

758
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: a god gambit. Good? Where my shoes? I don't wear?

759
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 1: Oar is your shoes hooked? Them off? Are your shoes? Okay?

760
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: It's probably easier to go through ven naked though. Right,

761
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 1: I'm having a try. It's talking the road. You're gonna try.

762
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 1: Just put your shop on. God damn it. No, no,

763
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: I think he's got a good idea. He can. Everyone

764
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 1: keep your clothes on. Please, look you tune. Ninja's gotta

765
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: go down there. Okay, this finally when your skill set's

766
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: gonna be used. Right, you're gonna get to the guard

767
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: and then say karate ja. Okay, oh no, do the

768
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: karate not just say that's what it is. Ninja Ninja,

769
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:51,359
Speaker 1: Ninja ninja. Okay, they're in, they're good, they're walking over.

770
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: Oh he's asleep, he's a sleep Okay, this is good.

771
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: We were very good, Ninja. I can't believe that. Well,

772
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 1: we can get Rose ninja, can you hear done? Much

773
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 1: time left? Oh? God, she's still How many guesses do

774
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: you think we have left on box? How? Three? Okay? Three?

775
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 1: Guess he didn't. Let's try number four? Okay, no turning.

776
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 1: That was turning, not the breed. I forget to say.

777
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 1: You're trying number four is not a good one. We

778
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: just is an incorrect guess. We have one guess last,

779
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 1: the box will self destruct? Not because if we are

780
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 1: guessing of two guesses? How many more guesses? Is? What

781
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 1: the guesses? Did he do? Why did you put the

782
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 1: self destruct on the box? He was in case somebody

783
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 1: tried to get him. No, this is horrible. Okay, So

784
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:47,800
Speaker 1: what all the numbers have we pushed so far? I

785
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: started with one? Okay, so one in four? The number

786
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 1: A dream about the correct number? Wake? Come up, Wake,

787
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:10,320
Speaker 1: come up? What what? What was the correct number? What

788
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:18,720
Speaker 1: was dream? Ninjas? Here, I'm St. Peter and the look

789
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 1: with god. St. Peter. I've already met many of your

790
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 1: friends today. Goodness, what what number you dream of? I

791
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:33,359
Speaker 1: had a dream about a number? Okay, that Ninja chop

792
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: just knocked it right out of What did you? What

793
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 1: did the number look like? Did it have lots of curves.

794
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 1: It had a line and uh so there was a

795
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:48,360
Speaker 1: straight piece of number. So not in the four. It

796
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:53,239
Speaker 1: could be a four, could be a four, one or nine.

797
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 1: We already Oh no, no way, no four, no one.

798
00:51:56,520 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 1: He's kind it's not What about seven, that's a yes?

799
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: It straight? Oh no, So it's like this a real

800
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 1: like number system. It's kind of like the basket on

801
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: top of four. Are you sure it's not four? Did

802
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 1: you try for wait, try anything? If we're talking to

803
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:24,919
Speaker 1: me in a box, God, you're in that box. Order

804
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 1: tried one, So it's got to be nine. It's got

805
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 1: to be explore. We should we should step out and

806
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,439
Speaker 1: maybe since Garth is chosen, one should press the number

807
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 1: nine while we go outside. That it's not fair. No,

808
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 1: you could press it. I don't think it's very good

809
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 1: supposed to code it. If you're going to press it,

810
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 1: you're going to press it. Those box like implode or explode.

811
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 1: Well it starts with small implosion and then big explosion.

812
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 1: Well these guys good explode. Do you like? Hope? Not so? Art?

813
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 1: Is that your name? Nice name? Tex? Thank you? It's

814
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 1: funny because my uniform says art on it. Twice that's great.

815
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:09,400
Speaker 1: So we're going to walk out room once we've gone close. No,

816
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 1: you're going to press a button, Peter, st Peter, you

817
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:19,279
Speaker 1: have one more gas bush button. It shouldn't be a

818
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 1: big deal. And there, Oh see, that's exactly what' hoping for. Oh,

819
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 1: this is perfect good. I wasn't supposed to doing the chopping.

820
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 1: What do you see? What's going on? Jesus? Because you're

821
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 1: fully nude and what is going on? There? She's got out,

822
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 1: she got out, she got out, she got out of

823
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: Let's go. Let's go, sharks, sharks. Do I have the

824
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 1: thing for you? For a hundred a hundred dollars and

825
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:59,360
Speaker 1: two down with four backtrack, with zero deductibles and a

826
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: marketing full proof. I guarantee that sales will jump up

827
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:07,360
Speaker 1: a hundred percent with funding. If you have here it

828
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 1: is We have a box right here that will not

829
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: only lock itself in, but lock itself out if you

830
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: put anything inside this box. It's a perfect safe and

831
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 1: if you don't want anyone to touch it. So far,

832
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 1: sales are good. So far. Sales are numbers A hundred

833
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 1: nine sales number, sales number. Sales numbers are good. So far,

834
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,240
Speaker 1: production has been slow it's hard to find the pieces

835
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 1: for the box. But we've sold about twenty to thirty units,

836
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 1: and what do you make per what do we make?

837
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 1: What was it cost to make the box? And what's

838
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 1: the profits? Cost About a thousand dollars to make and

839
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,719
Speaker 1: we sell them for about two to Okay, that that

840
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 1: might be one of your first problems right there. I

841
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 1: agree with Ricky. I don't think the math checks out great. No,

842
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 1: it's it's you're you're losing seven hundred dollars per box minimum.

843
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 1: But but that's why we want funding from from when

844
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,240
Speaker 1: you start, you said you could guarantee us a hundred

845
00:54:55,320 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: percent marketing full with with funding um. But if you're

846
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 1: selling them for three hundred bucks, we're still losing four

847
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,720
Speaker 1: hundred dollars per box. But but if we work together,

848
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 1: I feel like we will be able to bridge that number. Larry,

849
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:14,600
Speaker 1: I think you had a question. Yeah, how did you

850
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 1: get in here? Because we're we're not currently shooting, we're

851
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:20,840
Speaker 1: on our lunch. But I just I have to I

852
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: liv and Kievan here who ninjaed their way in Ninja Ninja.

853
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 1: So Sharks, it's up to you if you want to

854
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:31,800
Speaker 1: walk out of here alive with a great deal. Listen,

855
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 1: you do a great job as a as a camera guy.

856
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 1: Thank your show. Uh you know we're on our tenth

857
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,919
Speaker 1: year and whatnot. Um and we congratulations to the whole team,

858
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 1: right to us in particularly exactly two. Congratulations to you all.

859
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,919
Speaker 1: It takes an aquarium, you know, specifically because the fish

860
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:53,320
Speaker 1: on on display, not the ones behind the camera. But

861
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 1: but we said, would you give you a shot? We

862
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 1: gave it to you. I think you've proven right after

863
00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 1: ten years of waiting for this opportunity, you've brought in

864
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 1: something that loses money every time it's sold. Yeah, that's

865
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:06,360
Speaker 1: that's a note from me. And what's what the Russian

866
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 1: guys you don't see us. We fade until background. Let's

867
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: talk about that. How to market that? Well? The boxes? Really,

868
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 1: how can we sell these ninjas? The boxes a big

869
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 1: part of it. Well, we came in because we use

870
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,360
Speaker 1: box for many different operations that were secreted. We have

871
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 1: great belief in box, secret box, this box, yes, and

872
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,320
Speaker 1: what is what do you do? What are the what

873
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: are some of the operations? Typically we use it for

874
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 1: human smuggling, but I'm sure anybody can use it for people.

875
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 1: In box you can put statue in box? What does

876
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 1: that cause to hide a person? What can you make

877
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 1: for a person? I'd love to know the turnaround on

878
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,880
Speaker 1: that you hear to make millions of dollars depending on

879
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 1: for unit? I know the library that they're going right

880
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:54,919
Speaker 1: at the library is six thousand dollars for a human being?

881
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:59,399
Speaker 1: I'm not that's for twenty years, right, I'm not sure

882
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 1: what it is for life for a Russian? How long

883
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:05,960
Speaker 1: did a person stay in the box? Great? About eighteen hours?

884
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 1: But no, it's not good that you should we keep

885
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: him in there. And then for trafficking, there's a very

886
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 1: little pluction. How many boxes do you having made so far? Well,

887
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 1: we've only bought one box. But we believe in this man.

888
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 1: He's very good business man. Why don't you know the

889
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 1: number cost you a thousand dollars bucks? Why don't you

890
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 1: know how many bocks? It's just a rough estiment. You're fired. Yeah,

891
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,640
Speaker 1: thank you, Sharks. Has been a pleasure. I'm so sorry

892
00:57:36,680 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: you wouldn't invest in this, But these guys need to stay. Yeah,

893
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 1: we're keeping these guys. What's happening? I love those noises?

894
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 1: Can you can either of you karate trup? Oh? Of

895
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 1: course lets we trained karate chop karate trup. You now

896
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:54,919
Speaker 1: you're saying it, but can you do the physical movement? Wait?

897
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: What do you mean? I thought that saying it was enough.

898
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 1: What's the physical move Oh it's just a karate chap? What? Yeah,

899
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 1: you just did it? Never, why don't you demonstrate on

900
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 1: the I hate showing off this. I know you do.

901
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 1: Oh that my brother's color board karate chop? That don't

902
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: they're just sang the worst. See how she moved her

903
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 1: hand and arm. That was very rude. I think you

904
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:30,040
Speaker 1: might have broken my brother's color No, it's broken. Alright, fine,

905
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 1: you don't want our services. We're going to get the

906
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:36,919
Speaker 1: funk out of here. Okay, alright, I'm climbing the stack

907
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: of quarters. Climbing stack of quarters. Wait a minute, what

908
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 1: is this? Limbo? Many here? Limbo? Brother? How long have

909
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: I been here? I'm in a long time. Does this

910
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 1: mean I died in art museum? No, Broly died when

911
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 1: you were finding Philistines, my friend, and then you had

912
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 1: you call bone broke and never heal. Oh man, we understand.

913
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 1: You can get out of a box, though, Oh I can't.

914
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 1: I can get out the box. I can get in

915
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: box box will even blow box wi eggs so specific,

916
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: it's very specific. Yeah, I still get it though. We're

917
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 1: gonna invest, you know, we need to know what's the

918
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,560
Speaker 1: magic behind the Oh god, I gotta pitch this thing again.

919
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: What a great, great ending too, yet another wonderful episode.

920
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 1: Thank you all for writing too. Is alchemy this uh

921
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 1: dot com. You're writing to your name here at alchemy

922
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 1: this dot com. That and we would love to use

923
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: some of your scenes suggestions right your name here at

924
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. Let's go around and thank our alchemists. Uh,

925
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 1: Mark Aguardi joining us for the first time. Thank you.

926
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:58,840
Speaker 1: We'll see about that. And uh tell the folks where

927
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 1: they can find you or follow you or I'm a

928
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 1: at Mark gags on Twitter, and uh, I have a

929
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 1: podcast called We Got This with Mark and Hill. Yes,

930
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 1: Hal Lubin, Yeah, yeah, yeah, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic fellow, that guy,

931
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 1: Thank you again for being here, thanks for having me.

932
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 1: But the things that the Dynasty Typewriter Theater is we

933
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 1: started a new year and it's already insane. It's bonkers.

934
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 1: And just before this episode, we just went live with

935
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 1: eleven dates with Hannah Gadsby that's insane. Yeah, yeah, so

936
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 1: super excited. Um that starts on February, goes through the

937
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 1: night and the Sandlers coming back. Sandler was here last night.

938
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: I'll be here in the next two nights. Well too

939
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 1: late if you're hearing this. Yeah, sorry, guys. It was

940
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:44,920
Speaker 1: great and Mark Marin has decided to residence and amazing,

941
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 1: so much fun. It's been embracing. Congratulations is great popcorn,

942
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 1: It will never let you down. Come with the comedy,

943
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 1: stay for the bottle. Yes, exactly, That's what it says

944
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:55,440
Speaker 1: on the website. How do they find it? Dynasty typewriter

945
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 1: dot com. That's correct. She never fails that question. Uh.

946
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 1: Kakowski as in Craig. Yeah, what have you got for us?

947
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:05,920
Speaker 1: At Kikowski on Twitter or at Craigslist peak cast for

948
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 1: the Craigslist podcast to do with my wife Carla. My

949
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 1: wife Carl and I also have an improv duo. You

950
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at Orange Tucks Improv Nice

951
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 1: for Orange Tuxedo. We'll be going to Copenhagen, Denmark in April, Warsaw,

952
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 1: Poland in June that I cannot wait to hear the

953
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 1: European tour from those two European stops. That's right, I

954
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 1: hope to meet. Yes, will she meet your second family

955
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: over there? Uh? I'm sorry, I'm out, have spoken out

956
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 1: of turn. James Eney, Well, I got uh if you

957
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 1: check it out on Twitch the real James Ceeney sometimes

958
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 1: I stream video games, so you can find me in

959
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 1: pretty much anything with the real James Ceeney. Alrighty Joey

960
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 1: Greer bring us home at Jeffy Greeber on Instagram and

961
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 1: then February seven at ten pm doing a improv show,

962
01:01:56,200 --> 01:02:02,640
Speaker 1: sister check it out where where at? Dinas Yeah, you

963
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 1: just looked at let's say, I was like, I think

964
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:13,200
Speaker 1: it's enough audio medium. Let's take our engineer, Doug Bam

965
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 1: right here in the studio. So beautiful. Thank you, Doug

966
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: so close to us. He is close. He's closer than

967
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 1: he's ever been. There's always been a plexiglass a wall

968
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 1: between us, and now it's nice to see he was

969
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:28,760
Speaker 1: never wearing pants, never was. Thank you also to Sophie Lichterman,

970
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: our producer. So please tell everyone you've ever met to

971
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:34,160
Speaker 1: give us a listen, subscribe and write a damn review

972
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:37,840
Speaker 1: if you would, please, Uh once again, right to us

973
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 1: your name here at Alchemy, this dot com. That's our

974
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:44,000
Speaker 1: show for today. Thank you so much and goodbye.