WEBVTT - Help Me Again! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:17.360 and the Black Effects Oh shit were on an air. 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:20.120 Welcome back to you another Catholey Reckless episode with your 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:22.439 girl Jess. Hilarious because what I'll be doing, I'll be 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:25.280 fixing mess y'all. All right, let's get straight into it. 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:27.960 We got a juicy story today. We don't have any 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:31.880 voice memos. We just got straight words, y'all. This person 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:35.200 wrote me a book, but it's gonna be good. Listen, Jess, 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:41.600 I'm back and damn just I'm back, and yeah, I 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:44.680 really need your help. Thank you again. Okay, So right now, 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:46.360 me and my ex have been dealing with each other 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:48.680 on and off for about four years. And yes, the 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.880 question you're probably wondering, was it his fault? Yes, it's 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:54.640 his fault every time. I haven't saw him in about 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:58.200 three months until recently I invited him to my hotel 0:00:58.240 --> 0:00:59.920 for a drink. I don't know why I did it. 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:02.480 I mean because you missed him. You was probably already 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:05.080 drinking and was like, shit, I need a little dicky dicky. 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:08.240 So then you called him. Let me continue. I was 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:11.400 just feeling spontaneous and I was bored Okay. We sat 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:14.160 in the lobby and literally talked for like five hours 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:17.240 and it was very positive. Oh, y'all missed each other. Honey. 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:19.479 It was like I was talking to a whole new 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.920 person and I kind of was feeling him again. Oh 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:24.680 I know, that's right. That's what happened. When you create time, 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:27.240 when you put time in between you and a person, 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:29.080 or create space in between you and a person, it 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:30.960 could be for the better, it could be for the worse. 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:33.800 So they were talking for five hours, Okay, So I 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.560 invited him to stay. Oh oh, and when I tell you, 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:39.559 the night was amazing, it was amazing. And I said 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:42.480 amazing like that because she had all cats y'all. We 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.520 watched our favorite shows and movies and ordered our favorite 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:48.600 food like we used to, and also did shroms. Oh yeah, 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:51.880 I know that sex was ball Doc kill On. Oh yeah, 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.120 all right. He ended up going to sleep before me 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.000 and leaving me up with a racing mind. Oh yeah, 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:58.680 when you on shrooms, y'all just want to let you 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:01.640 know your mind wanders even when you don't want it to. 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.200 That is a high you cannot control. So I know 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.560 she was going through it. Wait, how the hell he 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:08.400 go to sleep on some shrooms. Y'all must have had 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:10.760 the bullshit trims, because I can't ever go to sleep 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:12.640 on shrooms. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:14.320 y'all let me know. If y'all go to sleep on them, 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:17.919 they leave me up for hours. Girl, tell me why. 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:20.120 I saw him put the cold in his phone earlier 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:23.240 that day and reverted back to it that night. Oh shit, 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.480 and he was on shrooms. Oh lord, don't go through 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:29.280 a niggaphone for one, but don't go through a niggaphone 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:32.600 on shrooms. And I decided to go through his phone. 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:35.800 I know what you're thinking, Yeah, bitch, you're crazy, but 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:38.200 I don't care. I did it, and I was happy 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:40.360 I did it. I found out everything I needed to know, 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:42.839 and I even found out what he was doing while 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:46.519 we were still together. Oh shit, girl, you went how 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:50.720 far back did your goal? God damn? She said. Listen. 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.240 He was sleep and I was up shrimming, bitch, I 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:56.640 had all the time I needed. He was literally lying 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:59.440 to me the whole time. I was crushed, and then 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:02.480 you know, I was on shterms, so my mind was everywhere, 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.000 which made me wake his ass up. And I told 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:06.840 him when he get us olf together, he needs to 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.520 get the fuck out. He looked at me very confused, 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:12.840 so I had to repeat myself, when you get yourself together, 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:15.799 get the fuck out. And then this nigga acted like 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.240 he didn't know anything I was talking about. I told 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:20.000 him to open up his phone and go to his 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:22.920 messages once he was done. He needed to get the 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:26.080 fuck out. And I don't know what delusional type of 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:28.680 shit he was on, but he proceeded to go to 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.040 his messages like he didn't know what the fuck I 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:34.400 was talking about and was just looking stupid and started crying. 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.480 I didn't give a fuck. This literally took me back 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:39.480 to the reason why we broke up in the first place. 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.520 So my question to you is why are all these 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:45.120 niggas clowns and why they be so in denial and 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:51.000 delusional and liars. Oh my god, this girl, this girl 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:53.560 gonna get me an award. I'm telling you, because she 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:56.320 comes to me for her mess all the time. Y'all. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:59.480 This is somebody, and I'm wondering her life is always 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:01.960 in some day shambles. I'm trying to figure out why 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.280 she don't write a goddamn book. She need to be 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:06.760 helping fixed mess. That's what she needed to do, because 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.440 she's been through a lot, and she's she seems very 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:12.880 wise because she goes through something every week. So like 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:15.560 I find myself helping this girl every week. But I 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:20.560 love it. Okay, So in all seriousness, first and foremost, 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.800 I'm questioning why you would go through his phone if 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.840 y'all technically wasn't together. You said you missed them, y'all 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:30.200 technically haven't even been together seeing each other in a while, 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.119 you know, And this wasn't just somebody you was fucking 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.720 with for a few months. This was an actual relationship. 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:39.200 I remember your story before. This was an actual relationship, 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.760 you know, like for years and years, you know, and 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:44.440 then y'all broke up for whatever reason. Of course, you 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:46.279 told me that it was his fault. Okay, So you 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.560 created a distance between you guys and put a lot 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.520 of time and between you guys, and people do change. 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:56.920 We're gonna stop pushing that narrative, like people don't evolve, 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.440 and people don't change, and people don't stop cheating that 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:03.320 saying once it chet are always a cheater. I also 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:05.479 don't believe in once a liar, always a liar. I 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:07.320 don't believe in that. We have to give people grace, 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:09.320 you know, we have to extend that. As the good 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.560 brother ty Reese would say. In my opinion, yes, if 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.760 he wasn't your boyfriend, if you guys weren't actually together, 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:18.440 you had no business going through his phone. I don't 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:20.240 know if that's something that you guys are used to doing, 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:23.119 whether you guys are together or not, but that number 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:26.000 one is a no no for this reason. One y'all 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:29.360 weren't back together, and then two you were shrooming. As 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:32.240 an avid shromer, I can tell you don't want to 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:34.839 step foot and shit like that while you are on 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:39.240 a shroom high, because anything could have happened. Anything, Your 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:42.760 mind wanders and then then you start acting out of 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:45.599 your full character. Then you you know, And I'm not 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:48.640 trying to scare anybody away from doing shrooms because it's 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:53.120 actually an enlightening psychedelic, you know, and it's really good. 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:55.080 It can open you up, and it just opens your 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:58.440 mind and it makes you become one with nature or 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:01.560 whatever you It helps you face your demons, It helps 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:05.400 you actually get out any anything that you have bottled up, 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:08.120 and you feel good about it. It's also a body high, 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:10.240 so you're numb to a lot of shit. And I'm 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:13.400 really really selling this shit here. This is you know, 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:16.200 but shrooms are used for a bunch of different things 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:19.000 across the world. But it's really really good. It's it's 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:23.320 an enlightening psychedelic So I don't like to step in 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.440 anything negative while I'm shrewming. And I know you as 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.200 a female, you couldn't help it, you know. And then 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:30.919 also y'all sit in that lobby and y'all talked for 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:35.239 those five hours, went down memory lane, came back as lovers. 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:37.640 After y'all came back from memory Lane, and y'all went 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.599 upstairs and y'all did the goddamn do. But before y'all 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:43.640 got there, it was just a rekindle, you know, a flame, 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:46.960 an old flame. Y'all are each other's old flame, you know. 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:50.760 So it's like, damn, and that happens. That happens more 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.120 often than not. I want people to understand that, like 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:56.880 it's okay reconnecting with an X it is. It really is. 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:04.000 When it becomes not okay is when y'all haven't gotten passed. 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:08.800 Whatever the reason may be that y'all are exes. If 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:11.080 y'all didn't put everything out on the table and iron 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.160 those kinks out, because that's honestly what y'all should have 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.200 talked about. If y'all were planning to sleep together and 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.200 you was planning to go through the phone, I think 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:21.720 you just probably got a little carried away just looking 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:23.760 for something. Because you know, as a woman, we can 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:26.080 lay down with our ex and we can feel all 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.520 that shit come back, and we can say, oh shit, 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.040 I want you back. We can make a decision like, 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.400 all right, I'm gonna just fuck back with them. But 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:35.360 we get curious because we never got over what they 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.320 did to us before. But we just love them so 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:40.440 much and in that moment, we don't give a fuck 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:44.880 your mind right now in this moment, and everything good 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:48.160 that we had is coming back because we're really in 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:51.240 a good mood right now. Y'all never talked about and 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.800 ironed out the kinks of what happened to y'all before 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.400 in that relationship. So you got a little carried away 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:00.880 and you went through his phone, But you shouldn't have 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.280 touched this phone if you weren't his girlfriend. But that's 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:05.240 what that five hours of conversation didn't That's what I 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:06.440 was trying to say. I know it sounds like I'm 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:08.720 talking in circles. Yeah, that's what that five hours of 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:11.840 conversation was. Don't nobody just sit with somebody for five hours? 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:14.679 And like you said, you didn't even plan to sleep 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.360 with him. You missed him. You know you were bored. 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:19.080 You said you were bored, but I think you missed 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:21.880 him because God, when you bored, there's so many other 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:24.920 things to do when you bored. You ain't got to 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:29.400 call your X, you know what I mean. But yeah, 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:33.640 he doesn't owe you any loyalty now because you guys 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:36.920 are not together. And now I want to know this, say, 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:38.439 if he would have went through your phone, would he 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:41.760 have found something? And you didn't put that in there? 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:44.280 You didn't, you know, I don't know if you even 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.960 will when you respond back or keep me updated. Would 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:50.040 he be able to go through your phone and not 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:54.600 see anything, because then that's just us trying to have 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:56.480 our cake and need it too. You can't get upset 0:08:57.240 --> 0:09:00.480 at him about something that you're doing too, because then 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:02.719 it's a contradiction and you probably feel like, well, this 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:04.800 don't for saying to me because he cheated first, and 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:06.319 this that and the other. And yeah, but two wrongs 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.480 don't make it right. I know you heard that cliche saying, 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:11.760 you know, I know it sounds very cliche, but it's 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:14.600 it's the truth. You know, two wrongs don't make it right. 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:17.080 You need to tell me what do you want? What 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:18.840 do you want? Do you want to be back with him? 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.160 Do you? Cause you said it reminded you going through 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:24.440 his phone reminded you when you saw whatever you saw 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:28.600 of why you left. But y'all weren't together in that moment, 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:30.720 you know. And I know you can go on and 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:32.760 say I don't care, I don't give a fuck, but 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:36.480 that's why I can't trust him. You called them, You 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.679 called them to come there to the hotel. Yeah, he 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:41.640 was an X for a reason. He is an X 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:45.360 for a reason. But you called him, you know, And 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.960 has he been reaching out to you? Also? Tell me, like, 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:49.679 did he ever try to get you back when you 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:52.080 left for what he did? Or you know, has he 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:56.120 ever stopped trying? Because it could be one or two things. 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:57.760 He could have been on your line real heavy and 0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:00.520 you just gave in because you were sitting at the barge. 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.719 That's also a possibility because if you went a long 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:06.800 time without talking to him. You were just holding out 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.200 as long as you could, you know. And I've been 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:11.959 there too, girl, getting away from somebody that I love 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:14.600 so much because they don't treat me as good as 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:18.000 I deserve to be treated. But we turn a blind 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:20.000 eye to a lot of things that these men do, 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:21.720 you know, because we want to be loved, then we 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:25.520 do love them, you know. So it is what it is. 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:30.440 But in this situation, I would say, you were absolutely wrong. 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:34.280 But if this is something that you want, I think 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:36.360 you guys should work at it. I think what you 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:38.840 guys should do is meet up, because it seems like 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:40.520 it's still a lot of love there and it seems 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:45.320 like just the instant replay of the breakup. But y'all 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:48.600 wouldn't have found y'allselves back in each other's presence if 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:51.480 there was nothing else there to fix. If you feel 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:53.880 like it's worth fighting for, I say, y'all, meet up. 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:58.640 Y'all have a goddamn conversation. Y'all put everything on the table. 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:00.760 You tell him what you do. You tell them. I 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:02.480 don't care if you got four or five niggas that 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:06.480 you just entertaining right now. You tell him that you 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.959 tell him that because you can't go through his phone 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:10.960 and figure out every fucking thing he doing, and then 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:12.520 he asks you about what you're doing, and then you 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:17.080 start lying. I've done that as well, because we feel 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:21.000 like what they won't know, what they don't know won't 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:25.480 hurt them because men takes Men take that shit a 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:27.680 lot harder than we take it, to be honest, if 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:29.880 we're being honest. I'm not saying all men, but in 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:33.560 my experience, men take their excess dealing with other men 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.760 or moving on way worse than we take it. They 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.360 keep it bottled up. They keep it bottled up. They 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:43.160 don't really show outwork, they don't really show that shit. 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:47.840 We're just emotional creatures as women, you know. But guys 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:51.440 they have a hard time coping with that when somebody 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:54.840 has moved on and heartbreaks and men have heartbreaks as well, 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:56.959 you know. So I think y'all should just lay it 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.080 out on the table. You tell him what you're doing, 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:02.240 he tell you what. I guess what you already know 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:04.360 because you done went through everything, girl, I know you 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:05.760 done went through the DMS. You can't go through the 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:07.800 messages without going to the DMS, and you can't go 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:09.840 through the dams without going on Twitter and the messages, 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:11.880 and you can't check the Twitter without going in the 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:14.240 recent calls, and you can't check the recent calls without 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:16.120 going in the FaceTime. I mean, if you don't have 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.400 an iPhone, do you know, then I don't know how 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:20.160 to manroids work. But that's how it worked when you're 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:21.960 going through a nigga I phone because I've been through 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:25.439 more than I can even remember. So yes, I know that. 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:27.760 So girl, you and then he was on them rooms. 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.200 I know you didn't check this nigga apps like I 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:35.040 know you didn't. Girl. Girl, you don't probably scroll through 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:38.280 the context to see if he's storing a bitch's name 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:41.199 under a nigga's name. Girl, I listen, I didn't done 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:44.320 it at all, So I know you probably was check 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.280 checking to see if he got a text free app, girl, 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:50.680 cause them niggas do that too, But so do we 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:52.680 because I've done that as well, damn Ina putting my 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.199 business out there. But that's what I gotta do to 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.720 help y'all fix y'all mess because I ain't squeaky clean, 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:59.880 I ain't perfect patty. I'm not cookie cutter, y'all know. 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:02.200 So that's what I think. I think you should also 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:05.120 write me back, update me again, you know, just letting 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.080 me know if this is what you really want, because 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:09.080 I think you do. You wrote me about this man before, 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:10.720 and I think you do. I just think that y'all 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:12.960 are y'all have grown to be very toxic, and I 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:15.040 still think that you can turn that around though. Y'all 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:18.560 just have to be more communicative with each other, and 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.400 y'all have to be honest about everything, honest, even you, Missy. 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:25.640 You know, you going around snooping and shit playing private eye. 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:27.360 If he started doing the same thing. It's a lot 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:28.800 of things I'm pretty sure that he would find in 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:31.600 your phone that would not make him happy. It doesn't 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:34.920 matter who is the reason for y'all breaking up, you 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.720 know what I mean. All that matters is that you 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:39.640 still want this man somehow, some way, and so y'all 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.760 have to come to a come to a common ground, 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:47.600 you know. And this is what made me leave you before. 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.800 I felt betrayed. I felt although you weren't my boyfriend, 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:52.720 because I do think you owe him an apology for 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:55.200 going through his phone although you weren't my boyfriend, but 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.080 I still think you owe him an apology with an 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:01.040 explanation like, Yo, that just triggered me, because that triggered you. 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.920 I don't care which that triggered you. You were like, 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:06.200 oh shit, because you said you had a flashback of 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:09.600 why y'all broke up. So that tells me that you're 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.120 not healed and you don't trust him fully, but that 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:15.520 doesn't stop you from loving him. So you need to 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.559 decide whether you're going to walk away from it all 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:20.920 together or if you're going to try to trust him, 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.800 because you can't say you can't get back with somebody 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:27.760 that you didn't forgive for doing you wrong previously, because 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:29.840 then you're gonna grow to hate him and then you know, 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:33.360 and it's not fair for either one of you. So 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.200 keep me updated, let me know what's going on, because 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:40.000 I needed and I always say, if you love me, 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:42.400 you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:46.320 back moving on. We have another story. This one is 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.960 also written Hey Jess. So me and one of my 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:52.560 closest friends had a fallen out right after I moved away. 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:54.600 I had to move away because I met the man 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:57.160 of my dreams and he works as a contractor, so 0:14:57.200 --> 0:15:01.040 he landed a big contract in Houston. I said contract. 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.840 I said that really literate, and y'all heard, y'all heard, 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:06.160 and say, I know, y'all, dad, let me say it 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:10.240 over landed a big contract in Houston, which is where 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.680 we now live. Long story short, he proposed, and I'm 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:16.880 getting married soon, but still haven't spoken to my friend 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:20.760 in a while. I'm torn I wouldn't feel right getting 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.520 married without her there by my side. I've reached out 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.040 multiple times and I just have been left on red 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:30.240 and she hasn't returned any of my calls. Wow, what 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:32.680 the hell y'all fall out about? Jesus? So I'm trying 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:35.000 to figure out whether or not I should even invite 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:39.720 her because she hasn't responded in a year. Damn. The 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.240 reason for the falling out is because I told her 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:44.360 I would Okay, look you about to answer my question. Good. 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.400 The reason for the falling out is because I told 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.720 her I would have to up and move to Houston 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:53.400 from Ohio and her and I plan to start a 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:56.280 business together, as we always said we would do when 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:59.680 we were younger, but things changed for both of our 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:05.760 lives suddenly. What should I do? Hmm? Okay, So I 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.320 say a lot of a lot of interesting parts about 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.680 this story I want to pick out. Okay, so she's 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:12.680 one of your closest friends. Oh so you didn't say 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:16.480 best friend. Okay, but I'm just gonna say you're you're 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:20.280 a really good friend. I'll just say that. Okay. Y'all 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.520 had a fallen out and you moved away right after that. 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:27.880 And the falling out was because of your move. You 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:29.480 were telling her that you had to just up and 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:32.920 move to Houston because you know, your boyfriend at the time, 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:36.040 who was now your fiance. Your boyfriend is this big 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:39.040 contractor and he landed a really good, a big contract 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.640 in Houston. So you had to move from Ohio to Houston. 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.320 So you didn't even move down the street from your 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:46.520 best friend, you know, from your good friend. You moved 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:49.320 like miles and miles and I'm talking about hundreds of 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.200 thousands of miles away. You moved where she has to 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:55.760 she can drive, but you know, ultimately she would have 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:57.480 to fly to you, you know, if she didn't want 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:00.400 to drive. You know, So you didn't just move in 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:03.480 Cincinnati and y'all niggas was living in Cleveland, y'all. Uh uh, y'all, 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:07.800 y'all y'all moved, you moved far, okay, and then you said, 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:14.320 and then he proposed to you, and congratulations. I love love, 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:18.800 I love wedding bells, I love all of that. So congratulations, girly. 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:21.879 But you went on to say you reached out even 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:24.840 after the argument. I don't know. Did you wait to 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:26.960 reach out? Did you reach out immediately when you got 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:29.040 to Houston? I need a little bit more meat on 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:32.679 the bone, I don't. These are the things I don't know. However, 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:36.720 I still can, you know, give you advice without all 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:38.560 that meat. But I wanted to know how long did 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:41.960 you wait to even hit her? You know? Was it 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:45.800 a long time? And then also were you posting does 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.960 she still follow you on social media? Were you able 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:50.800 to see that she was watching you and your story? 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:52.920 Now you may not be a person to see to 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.399 go through views and see what's going on, but you 0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:57.480 know this is your good friend, and if you want 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:01.840 to see if she's been keeping track of you but 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:04.800 not just not reaching out to you or talking directly 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:06.480 to you, that's what you do. You can go through 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:09.919 I mean, because that would obviously state that she still cares, 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:12.119 but she's just still angry. I think what it is. 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:14.280 Y'all been friends for so long, and y'all had life 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.080 plans as friends to do business together. You know what 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.840 I'm saying. This reminds me of the movie Bride'smaids that 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:23.159 I actually watched. It was one of my favorite movies. 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:26.240 It was two best friends. One of them got married 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:32.760 and was moving away, actually moving further away than her 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:35.159 best friend would have liked, you know, and they were 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:38.960 supposed to I don't I don't remember. I don't quite 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:40.720 remember if they were supposed to go into business together, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:42.680 but I know that they had plans to do things 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:44.880 together just as best friends. And she kind of felt 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.959 like our best friend was taken away from her abruptly, 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:50.359 and you know, and we're not going to be able 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:51.920 to be down the street from each other anymore. We're 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:56.000 not gonna be able to have these long, long, long conversations. 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:57.600 You know, you have a man now, you know, So 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.919 getting away from that movie, although it is real life, 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:06.919 your situation is very common. That's the point of me 0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:09.400 bringing up the movie. It's very common. So I think 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:11.440 your best friend is just dealing with having to see 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:15.359 you level up, and it's and also this is not 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:18.000 me calling her a hater in a bad way. This 0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:20.240 is not me saying that she's jealous of you, or 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:22.960 she's envious or whatever. That may be the case, but 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:27.520 it's not bad being jealous. Jealousy is not always bad. 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:32.080 It's not, it's not. It's not that. It's totally human 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:34.639 to be jealous of someone that was very close to you, 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:37.959