Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Okay, so a few things we wanted to get into
Speaker 2: in the headlines.
Speaker 3: I mentioned the cell phones thing. Yes, so there's this.
Speaker 3: It was discussed.
Speaker 2: It was one of the first topics with the launch
Speaker 2: of Merritt Street Media this week. One of the first
Speaker 2: topics they handled on the morning news. Should cell phones
Speaker 2: be banned in schools? And part of why this is
Speaker 2: coming out is there's this new book out Jonathan his
Speaker 2: last name is Haidt, but he's a psychologist and he
Speaker 2: just wrote this book, The Anxious Generation. It just came
Speaker 2: out and it was instantly a New York Times bestseller.
Speaker 2: And he's writing in this book all about these principles
Speaker 2: of like how we've created this generation for as much
Speaker 2: as our mental health awareness seems to be up and look,
Speaker 2: you and I are big advocates for mental health, but
Speaker 2: that we've created a mentally struggle generation. But he talks
Speaker 2: about the cell phone and the impact of it, and
Speaker 2: he has what he thinks should be the four new norms.
Speaker 2: One no smartphones before high school, two no social media
Speaker 2: before age sixteen, three phone free schools, and four emphasizing
Speaker 2: more independence free play and responsibility in the real world
Speaker 2: amongst kids. Now, I have to say I'm behind all that,
Speaker 2: but I wanted to talk to you because even though
Speaker 2: I parent with you with the kids, I didn't come
Speaker 2: into Josh and Taylor's lives until they were teenagers. You
Speaker 2: had younger kids obviously, So what do you think? No
Speaker 2: smartphones before high school, no social media before sixteen, and
Speaker 2: phone free schools.
Speaker 3: Should cell phones be banned in schools?
Speaker 1: One hundred percent? I agree with everything. That should be
Speaker 1: a law mandate, send it right now. I so agree.
Speaker 2: By the way, we would be a little behind on this,
Speaker 2: like France, I believe it's illegal and I don't know
Speaker 2: how much it's really enforced, but for kids to have
Speaker 2: phones before age thirteen, to have them at all.
Speaker 1: Doctor Phil talks about this all the time, that you
Speaker 1: can really draw a very direct line to ninety five
Speaker 1: percent of the problems going on with the youth over medicated,
Speaker 1: to the pharmaceuticals and suicide, loneliness up, yeah, all of it,
Speaker 1: all of it. You can draw a direct line to
Speaker 1: the time when we invented and brought out smartphones, period,
Speaker 1: social media, et cetera. Everything that has ailed this generation
Speaker 1: and really the previous one. You can go right back
Speaker 1: to the cell phones. It is so well.
Speaker 2: And I would say the smartphone because I do think
Speaker 2: like I grew up get a flip phone, right, I
Speaker 2: grew up with a cell phone where I had calling.
Speaker 2: And I remember when texting was invented. I was in
Speaker 2: high school and at the time, I actually thought, it's
Speaker 2: funny how I've changed. I remember thinking this texting thing
Speaker 2: is so dumb.
Speaker 3: I will never do it.
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you just call someone? And I don't think
Speaker 2: cell phones and texting were bad. I mean maybe it
Speaker 2: made us all a little overly communicative. Like you know,
Speaker 2: it's funny when you tell me that you like called
Speaker 2: your parents once a week from college. Sometimes I think, like,
Speaker 2: should I be talking to the kids more? Should I
Speaker 2: call them more? Just because I miss them? And then
Speaker 2: I also want to make sure that while they're like
Speaker 2: away at college, we maintain a good relationship. But then
Speaker 2: sometimes I think, no, you know, quality over quantity, Like
Speaker 2: I got dinner with Taylor this week. You had a
Speaker 2: business dinner and I wanted to check in with Taylor
Speaker 2: and see her, and a two hour dinner with her,
Speaker 2: I was like, this was so great, Like we connected
Speaker 2: and we had really good conversation, and I would rather
Speaker 2: have that than like forty texts I sent her during
Speaker 2: the week.
Speaker 1: You know that, just because now they mean nothing and
Speaker 1: it's not not nothing, that's too strong of a word,
Speaker 1: but they just become less meaningful because you get thousands
Speaker 1: of them a day and they just kind of roll.
Speaker 1: Even if you say something really demonstrative and important, it's
Speaker 1: just it's a text and you're going to get and
Speaker 1: it may mean something just to that moment, and then
Speaker 1: that high and the dopamine and all that's gone because
Speaker 1: you're going to get fifty thousand more techts that day.
Speaker 2: Well, I do think we all live really people live
Speaker 2: more spread out lives now than they used to. I
Speaker 2: think people used to kind of stay where they grew
Speaker 2: up more and now we all move around the world
Speaker 2: and we travel more, and so it is great to
Speaker 2: be able to stay in touch. But I would put
Speaker 2: it at social media and at smartphones number one.
Speaker 1: If the kids need you, trust me, they're going to
Speaker 1: call you. I talked to Taylor this morning because she
Speaker 1: had a really big day, and we facetimed and talked
Speaker 1: to each other face to face for a good thirty
Speaker 1: minutes about something and it was good news, but she
Speaker 1: wanted to share it that if she had texted me,
Speaker 1: I would have texted back, great, babe, I love you.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. Boom, it's gone. Instead, we
Speaker 1: had a meaningful conversation your dinner. The kids will reach
Speaker 1: out again. Yeah. I had to pay long distance phone
Speaker 1: bills when I was in college, and so we couldn't
Speaker 1: afford it. So I called my grandmother and I and grandparents,
Speaker 1: and I called my mom and dad on Sundays. That
Speaker 1: was like my day, Sunday afternoon. I would call.
Speaker 3: Everybody, but you made the time.
Speaker 1: But we made the time and we had those conversations.
Speaker 1: And by the way, I was fine. I didn't need
Speaker 1: to talk to them six days a week. So yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I agree that, you know, if people are
Speaker 1: out there and I think to get to a point
Speaker 1: you were about to make, I don't know what happened
Speaker 1: with your kids. The divorce definitely advanced things, and so
Speaker 1: I kind of empathize with those people that are going
Speaker 1: through divorces because you lose contact and you lose control
Speaker 1: over your kids, and so therefore that often speeds up
Speaker 1: the delivery of phones. I would have loved to have
Speaker 1: been able to say, here's a flip phone you can
Speaker 1: or a phone that doesn't have any capability other than
Speaker 1: texting and a phone call period. And if you want
Speaker 1: to give kids a smartphone that can absolutely do nothing,
Speaker 1: you could put a lock on it that they can't
Speaker 1: do anything. That's fine by me too. But they didn't
Speaker 1: need to ever have social media, and they didn't for
Speaker 1: quite some time. But the divorce is what sped that up.
Speaker 1: They were thirteen or fourteen, because that's when we got divorced.
Speaker 2: Because you're like thinking, okay, I need to be able
Speaker 2: to pick them up from soccer practice, or like if
Speaker 2: they have to stay late after school they.
Speaker 3: Got a call and you want to stay in touch too.
Speaker 4: And saying well, and I hope that exists, Like there
Speaker 4: should be some version of like I don't know, call
Speaker 4: it kid phone where you just can make calls or
Speaker 4: even only just one number, call parents, call emergency, and.
Speaker 2: Like send texts. Maybe I don't know, but I do think.
Speaker 2: And I was sitting here wondering, like, why hasn't this
Speaker 2: happened sooner? And maybe it's just because over the past
Speaker 2: decade the research has been done, and now we have
Speaker 2: the research to back it up and show something I
Speaker 2: think we can all feel and kind of know, which
Speaker 2: is that social media, while it can connect us also
Speaker 2: and while it can expose us to new information into
Speaker 2: seeing new things, can also be very negative. It dumps
Speaker 2: dopamine in our brain and then we get addicted to
Speaker 2: that dopamine. It can be very isolating in terms of
Speaker 2: like it makes you feel like everyone else is living
Speaker 2: this life that you're not living. And kids' brains aren't
Speaker 2: formed for that yet, their identities aren't formed for that yet. Like,
Speaker 2: I think social media is potentially toxic enough for adults.
Speaker 2: When I think about the fact that like young kids
Speaker 2: are on it, I can't even imagine. And Bo Burnham,
Speaker 2: who was this guy who got really big on Vine
Speaker 2: and then has since gone on to be like an
Speaker 2: Oscar nominated screenwriter, he said he's very anti social media,
Speaker 2: and he said this thing that always sticks with me.
Speaker 2: He's like, when you put a kid on social media,
Speaker 2: you're asking them to declare who they are to the world.
Speaker 3: And they don't know who they are yet. And I thought, God,
Speaker 3: that's so true.
Speaker 2: Imagine if you're trying to figure out who you are
Speaker 2: in front of the world. It's like we've made everybody
Speaker 2: a child star, like child stars talk about how bad
Speaker 2: their childhood was.
Speaker 3: And that's what social media does to everyone.
Speaker 1: The algorithm that they've created, and obviously the documentary about
Speaker 1: this and it's been found, but these are you know
Speaker 1: that this is damaging, it's driving kids to all kinds
Speaker 1: of horrible things. These are facts we know this. Congress
Speaker 1: knows this, the President knows this, everybody knows that this
Speaker 1: is harmful and bad. But these are billion dollar companies,
Speaker 1: so they have people fighting for them in Congress, people
Speaker 1: fighting for them on every level. So nothing changes. You know,
Speaker 1: you'll hear about cases here and there. They get hauled
Speaker 1: before Congress and they do the dog and pony show.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, nothing's going to
Speaker 1: change because of money. It's not even debatable. It's not
Speaker 1: going to change because these people have the money, they
Speaker 1: have the purse strings, and so I don't know where
Speaker 1: you go from that other than this lies within the parents'
Speaker 1: hands and we're the ones that will have to decide
Speaker 1: and make these hard choices.
Speaker 2: And I understand how hard that can be, because when
Speaker 2: you're a parent you're also having a parent based on
Speaker 2: what other parents are doing, because your kids coming home
Speaker 2: and they're like, well, everybody else has a phone, and
Speaker 2: I can't keep in touch with everyone, and you feel
Speaker 2: like you're isolating your kid. But I do think we're
Speaker 2: just at that tipping point now where like it's not
Speaker 2: even that you're speculating or you're sensing, it's that the
Speaker 2: research is showing.
Speaker 3: And I mean I'm seeing all these like headlines.
Speaker 5: Research shows kids need more risky play, Research shows kids
Speaker 5: should get outside more. Research shows kids need to be
Speaker 5: more independent. Like I I do, I wish and I
Speaker 5: hope that our government would do things like I think
Speaker 5: what I compare it to a lot is I grew
Speaker 5: up with DARE, the DARE program, like resist drugs at school.
Speaker 5: It's getting to the point that we know that social media.
Speaker 2: Is addictive like a drug, and like we might I think,
Speaker 2: I wish the government would step in and regulated, but
Speaker 2: like you said, maybe with money they won't.
Speaker 1: The lobbyists that they have the power that they have
Speaker 1: over these companies. And it's also you can go so
Speaker 1: deep on this about you know, favored nations of like, look,
Speaker 1: we're not going to do this but we have an
Speaker 1: election coming up. We need you to censor this or
Speaker 1: say this or The algorithm works in a lot of
Speaker 1: different ways, and you know, obviously all that got exposed
Speaker 1: when Elon Musk took over, then Twitter, now X and
Speaker 1: so it goes deep and they know they know what
Speaker 1: they're doing, they know they're harming kids, but they're not
Speaker 1: going to turn These are public companies and they have
Speaker 1: shareholders to answer to, and so I ultimately all of
Speaker 1: this comes back to the choices you make as a parent,
Speaker 1: and you you know it's it's you fight that fight
Speaker 1: as hard as you can for as long as you can.
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Speaker 1: next time.