WEBVTT - Smart Phones or Smart Kids?

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<v Speaker 1>This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so a few things we wanted to get into

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<v Speaker 2>in the headlines.

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<v Speaker 3>I mentioned the cell phones thing. Yes, so there's this.

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<v Speaker 3>It was discussed.

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<v Speaker 2>It was one of the first topics with the launch

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<v Speaker 2>of Merritt Street Media this week. One of the first

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<v Speaker 2>topics they handled on the morning news. Should cell phones

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<v Speaker 2>be banned in schools? And part of why this is

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<v Speaker 2>coming out is there's this new book out Jonathan his

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<v Speaker 2>last name is Haidt, but he's a psychologist and he

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<v Speaker 2>just wrote this book, The Anxious Generation. It just came

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<v Speaker 2>out and it was instantly a New York Times bestseller.

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<v Speaker 2>And he's writing in this book all about these principles

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<v Speaker 2>of like how we've created this generation for as much

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<v Speaker 2>as our mental health awareness seems to be up and look,

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<v Speaker 2>you and I are big advocates for mental health, but

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<v Speaker 2>that we've created a mentally struggle generation. But he talks

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<v Speaker 2>about the cell phone and the impact of it, and

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<v Speaker 2>he has what he thinks should be the four new norms.

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<v Speaker 2>One no smartphones before high school, two no social media

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<v Speaker 2>before age sixteen, three phone free schools, and four emphasizing

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<v Speaker 2>more independence free play and responsibility in the real world

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<v Speaker 2>amongst kids. Now, I have to say I'm behind all that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I wanted to talk to you because even though

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<v Speaker 2>I parent with you with the kids, I didn't come

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<v Speaker 2>into Josh and Taylor's lives until they were teenagers. You

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<v Speaker 2>had younger kids obviously, So what do you think? No

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<v Speaker 2>smartphones before high school, no social media before sixteen, and

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<v Speaker 2>phone free schools.

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<v Speaker 3>Should cell phones be banned in schools?

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<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent? I agree with everything. That should be

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<v Speaker 1>a law mandate, send it right now. I so agree.

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<v Speaker 2>By the way, we would be a little behind on this,

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<v Speaker 2>like France, I believe it's illegal and I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>how much it's really enforced, but for kids to have

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<v Speaker 2>phones before age thirteen, to have them at all.

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<v Speaker 1>Doctor Phil talks about this all the time, that you

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<v Speaker 1>can really draw a very direct line to ninety five

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<v Speaker 1>percent of the problems going on with the youth over medicated,

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<v Speaker 1>to the pharmaceuticals and suicide, loneliness up, yeah, all of it,

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<v Speaker 1>all of it. You can draw a direct line to

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<v Speaker 1>the time when we invented and brought out smartphones, period,

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<v Speaker 1>social media, et cetera. Everything that has ailed this generation

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<v Speaker 1>and really the previous one. You can go right back

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<v Speaker 1>to the cell phones. It is so well.

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<v Speaker 2>And I would say the smartphone because I do think

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<v Speaker 2>like I grew up get a flip phone, right, I

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<v Speaker 2>grew up with a cell phone where I had calling.

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<v Speaker 2>And I remember when texting was invented. I was in

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<v Speaker 2>high school and at the time, I actually thought, it's

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<v Speaker 2>funny how I've changed. I remember thinking this texting thing

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<v Speaker 2>is so dumb.

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<v Speaker 3>I will never do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Why wouldn't you just call someone? And I don't think

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<v Speaker 2>cell phones and texting were bad. I mean maybe it

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<v Speaker 2>made us all a little overly communicative. Like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's funny when you tell me that you like called

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<v Speaker 2>your parents once a week from college. Sometimes I think, like,

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<v Speaker 2>should I be talking to the kids more? Should I

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<v Speaker 2>call them more? Just because I miss them? And then

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<v Speaker 2>I also want to make sure that while they're like

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<v Speaker 2>away at college, we maintain a good relationship. But then

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes I think, no, you know, quality over quantity, Like

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<v Speaker 2>I got dinner with Taylor this week. You had a

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<v Speaker 2>business dinner and I wanted to check in with Taylor

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<v Speaker 2>and see her, and a two hour dinner with her,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, this was so great, Like we connected

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<v Speaker 2>and we had really good conversation, and I would rather

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<v Speaker 2>have that than like forty texts I sent her during

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<v Speaker 2>the week.

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<v Speaker 1>You know that, just because now they mean nothing and

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<v Speaker 1>it's not not nothing, that's too strong of a word,

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<v Speaker 1>but they just become less meaningful because you get thousands

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<v Speaker 1>of them a day and they just kind of roll.

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<v Speaker 1>Even if you say something really demonstrative and important, it's

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<v Speaker 1>just it's a text and you're going to get and

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<v Speaker 1>it may mean something just to that moment, and then

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<v Speaker 1>that high and the dopamine and all that's gone because

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to get fifty thousand more techts that day.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I do think we all live really people live

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<v Speaker 2>more spread out lives now than they used to. I

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<v Speaker 2>think people used to kind of stay where they grew

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<v Speaker 2>up more and now we all move around the world

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<v Speaker 2>and we travel more, and so it is great to

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<v Speaker 2>be able to stay in touch. But I would put

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<v Speaker 2>it at social media and at smartphones number one.

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<v Speaker 1>If the kids need you, trust me, they're going to

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<v Speaker 1>call you. I talked to Taylor this morning because she

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<v Speaker 1>had a really big day, and we facetimed and talked

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<v Speaker 1>to each other face to face for a good thirty

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<v Speaker 1>minutes about something and it was good news, but she

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to share it that if she had texted me,

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<v Speaker 1>I would have texted back, great, babe, I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so proud of you. Boom, it's gone. Instead, we

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<v Speaker 1>had a meaningful conversation your dinner. The kids will reach

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<v Speaker 1>out again. Yeah. I had to pay long distance phone

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<v Speaker 1>bills when I was in college, and so we couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>afford it. So I called my grandmother and I and grandparents,

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<v Speaker 1>and I called my mom and dad on Sundays. That

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<v Speaker 1>was like my day, Sunday afternoon. I would call.

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<v Speaker 3>Everybody, but you made the time.

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<v Speaker 1>But we made the time and we had those conversations.

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<v Speaker 1>And by the way, I was fine. I didn't need

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<v Speaker 1>to talk to them six days a week. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I agree that, you know, if people are

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<v Speaker 1>out there and I think to get to a point

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<v Speaker 1>you were about to make, I don't know what happened

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<v Speaker 1>with your kids. The divorce definitely advanced things, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of empathize with those people that are going

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<v Speaker 1>through divorces because you lose contact and you lose control

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<v Speaker 1>over your kids, and so therefore that often speeds up

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<v Speaker 1>the delivery of phones. I would have loved to have

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<v Speaker 1>been able to say, here's a flip phone you can

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<v Speaker 1>or a phone that doesn't have any capability other than

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<v Speaker 1>texting and a phone call period. And if you want

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<v Speaker 1>to give kids a smartphone that can absolutely do nothing,

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<v Speaker 1>you could put a lock on it that they can't

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<v Speaker 1>do anything. That's fine by me too. But they didn't

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<v Speaker 1>need to ever have social media, and they didn't for

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<v Speaker 1>quite some time. But the divorce is what sped that up.

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<v Speaker 1>They were thirteen or fourteen, because that's when we got divorced.

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<v Speaker 2>Because you're like thinking, okay, I need to be able

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<v Speaker 2>to pick them up from soccer practice, or like if

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<v Speaker 2>they have to stay late after school they.

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<v Speaker 3>Got a call and you want to stay in touch too.

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<v Speaker 4>And saying well, and I hope that exists, Like there

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<v Speaker 4>should be some version of like I don't know, call

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<v Speaker 4>it kid phone where you just can make calls or

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<v Speaker 4>even only just one number, call parents, call emergency, and.

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<v Speaker 2>Like send texts. Maybe I don't know, but I do think.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was sitting here wondering, like, why hasn't this

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<v Speaker 2>happened sooner? And maybe it's just because over the past

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<v Speaker 2>decade the research has been done, and now we have

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<v Speaker 2>the research to back it up and show something I

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<v Speaker 2>think we can all feel and kind of know, which

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<v Speaker 2>is that social media, while it can connect us also

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<v Speaker 2>and while it can expose us to new information into

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<v Speaker 2>seeing new things, can also be very negative. It dumps

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<v Speaker 2>dopamine in our brain and then we get addicted to

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<v Speaker 2>that dopamine. It can be very isolating in terms of

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<v Speaker 2>like it makes you feel like everyone else is living

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<v Speaker 2>this life that you're not living. And kids' brains aren't

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<v Speaker 2>formed for that yet, their identities aren't formed for that yet. Like,

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<v Speaker 2>I think social media is potentially toxic enough for adults.

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<v Speaker 2>When I think about the fact that like young kids

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<v Speaker 2>are on it, I can't even imagine. And Bo Burnham,

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<v Speaker 2>who was this guy who got really big on Vine

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<v Speaker 2>and then has since gone on to be like an

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<v Speaker 2>Oscar nominated screenwriter, he said he's very anti social media,

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<v Speaker 2>and he said this thing that always sticks with me.

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<v Speaker 2>He's like, when you put a kid on social media,

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<v Speaker 2>you're asking them to declare who they are to the world.

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<v Speaker 3>And they don't know who they are yet. And I thought, God,

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<v Speaker 3>that's so true.

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<v Speaker 2>Imagine if you're trying to figure out who you are

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<v Speaker 2>in front of the world. It's like we've made everybody

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<v Speaker 2>a child star, like child stars talk about how bad

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<v Speaker 2>their childhood was.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's what social media does to everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>The algorithm that they've created, and obviously the documentary about

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<v Speaker 1>this and it's been found, but these are you know

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<v Speaker 1>that this is damaging, it's driving kids to all kinds

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<v Speaker 1>of horrible things. These are facts we know this. Congress

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<v Speaker 1>knows this, the President knows this, everybody knows that this

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<v Speaker 1>is harmful and bad. But these are billion dollar companies,

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<v Speaker 1>so they have people fighting for them in Congress, people

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<v Speaker 1>fighting for them on every level. So nothing changes. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>you'll hear about cases here and there. They get hauled

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<v Speaker 1>before Congress and they do the dog and pony show.

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<v Speaker 1>But at the end of the day, nothing's going to

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<v Speaker 1>change because of money. It's not even debatable. It's not

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<v Speaker 1>going to change because these people have the money, they

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<v Speaker 1>have the purse strings, and so I don't know where

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<v Speaker 1>you go from that other than this lies within the parents'

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<v Speaker 1>hands and we're the ones that will have to decide

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<v Speaker 1>and make these hard choices.

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<v Speaker 2>And I understand how hard that can be, because when

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<v Speaker 2>you're a parent you're also having a parent based on

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<v Speaker 2>what other parents are doing, because your kids coming home

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<v Speaker 2>and they're like, well, everybody else has a phone, and

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<v Speaker 2>I can't keep in touch with everyone, and you feel

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<v Speaker 2>like you're isolating your kid. But I do think we're

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<v Speaker 2>just at that tipping point now where like it's not

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<v Speaker 2>even that you're speculating or you're sensing, it's that the

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<v Speaker 2>research is showing.

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<v Speaker 3>And I mean I'm seeing all these like headlines.

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<v Speaker 5>Research shows kids need more risky play, Research shows kids

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<v Speaker 5>should get outside more. Research shows kids need to be

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<v Speaker 5>more independent. Like I I do, I wish and I

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<v Speaker 5>hope that our government would do things like I think

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<v Speaker 5>what I compare it to a lot is I grew

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<v Speaker 5>up with DARE, the DARE program, like resist drugs at school.

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<v Speaker 5>It's getting to the point that we know that social media.

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<v Speaker 2>Is addictive like a drug, and like we might I think,

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<v Speaker 2>I wish the government would step in and regulated, but

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<v Speaker 2>like you said, maybe with money they won't.

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<v Speaker 1>The lobbyists that they have the power that they have

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<v Speaker 1>over these companies. And it's also you can go so

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<v Speaker 1>deep on this about you know, favored nations of like, look,

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<v Speaker 1>we're not going to do this but we have an

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<v Speaker 1>election coming up. We need you to censor this or

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<v Speaker 1>say this or The algorithm works in a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>different ways, and you know, obviously all that got exposed

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<v Speaker 1>when Elon Musk took over, then Twitter, now X and

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<v Speaker 1>so it goes deep and they know they know what

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<v Speaker 1>they're doing, they know they're harming kids, but they're not

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<v Speaker 1>going to turn These are public companies and they have

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<v Speaker 1>shareholders to answer to, and so I ultimately all of

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<v Speaker 1>this comes back to the choices you make as a parent,

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<v Speaker 1>and you you know it's it's you fight that fight

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<v Speaker 1>as hard as you can for as long as you can.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most

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<v Speaker 1>next time.