WEBVTT - I Just Need A Hug 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.320 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:17.120 the Black Effects. Oh Shit, be back on the air. 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:19.880 Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:22.599 girl ess hilarious. What I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess. 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:24.480 Y'all know that, and that's why we got to jump 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.040 straight into it today. We got some voice noes, y'all know. 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:29.440 I love when we get voice notes because then I 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.360 ain't got to read through people's errors and their essays 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:34.239 and PDFs that they be senting and shit. So this 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.440 is actually good. Also, I just want to throw in there, 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:40.199 I don't mind, I don't mind reading, Okay, I just 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:44.199 need for y'all to come punctual study literacy. I mean, 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:45.840 I know a lot of y'all ain't been in school 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:47.280 for a long time. I've been out of school since 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:50.440 twenty ten. But it helps me get through your story 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:52.559 much better. It helps me. It helps me. That's why 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:54.440 I haven't read a lot of stories that's being sent 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:56.240 to me, because I can't make sense of all the 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:59.000 run on sentences and how y'all misspelling stuff and all that. 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:03.280 I'm not saying nobody is uneducated. I'm just saying y'all 0:01:03.360 --> 0:01:05.679 be rushing and shit, then y'all talk with slang and 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:08.080 all that. I don't know how to decipher what y'all 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:09.440 be talking about because a lot of y'all are not 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.640 from Baltimore, So if it ain't Baltimore lingo, I don't 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.280 understand it, y'all. However, I do love you guys. And 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:15.640 then also I see a lot of people have been 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:19.040 getting confused on where to send audio because I haven't 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.399 made the announcement in a while. Yes, you have to 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:25.440 send your voice memos to the Carefully Reckless podcast page, 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:28.640 not just Hilarious official not Reckless Discussions, because this is 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:32.160 not either of those, and not co Parenting Therapy. I 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:34.160 notice a lot of you guys send voice notes to 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:37.560 co Parenting that's for Rome and I. That's not for 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:42.399 a carefully reckless that doesn't cater to carefully Reckless unless 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:45.360 you want it to be read on the Carefully Reckless podcast. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:47.840 But I'm under the impression when you guys send voice 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.040 notes to co Parenting Therapy page that you guys want 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.200 Rome and I to help you with something which we 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:58.040 will be launching, relaunching another season where we actually sit 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:01.000 down with people and talk with them and try to 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.080 sort out their differences for cool parents and Okay, then 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:03.960 let's jump straight on. 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:08.560 Okay, girl, this about to be long. Okay. 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:10.640 So I met this guy when I was twelve years old, 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:11.840 so blah blah blah. 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:13.400 We got in trouble together. You know how that. 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:17.840 First love type stuff goes. So at sixteen, I had 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:21.120 a baby. Seventeen, I got pregnant seven seen, my mom 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:23.560 kicked me out of the house. We wound up leaving 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:26.000 the area that we lived in and moved like three 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:27.880 or four hours away. 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:31.120 I was homeless. He went to jail for domestic violence. 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:34.320 I didn't have anywhere to go. So then I wound 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.720 up getting back with him. I wound up getting my 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:37.960 own place when I was eighteen. 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:40.680 All of the story, and he was very abusive the 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:41.800 whole entire relationship. 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.400 And then he wound up trapping me with five kids. 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:46.760 I know, people don't really talk about that, how men 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:49.360 trapped females with five kids. But I was so young. 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:51.680 I was in the town where I really didn't know anybody. 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.080 He had the homecourt advantage because we were in the 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:58.480 town that his family was from. So yeah, he wound 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.880 up by the time I was twenty four and I had. 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:03.880 Five kids Jesus Christ honey. 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.119 So then, yeah, I don't know what part I left 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:07.400 off one. So anyway, by the. 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:10.280 Time I was twenty four, I had five kids, and 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:11.680 he wound up going to jail. 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:14.680 He got sentenced to three years. Boom. 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:16.760 So he gets out after three years. I'm doing a 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:19.520 little bit better for myself. I still have the five children, 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:20.520 but I am doing better. 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.040 So he agrees to take my kids for the summer. 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:26.079 And I appreciated that because, mind you, I've been knowing 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:27.359 him since I was twelve years old. 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:28.359 I thought I could trust him. 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:28.840 So he takes it. 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:31.080 He was a good dad. He was very a horrible boyfriend, 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.880 very big so, but he wasn't a bad dad. So 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:34.560 when he gets out of. 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:37.480 Jail, he takes his kids for the summer. My daughter, 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:39.560 and my oldest daughter at the time, was nine years old. 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:41.280 She came back, and when she came back, she was 0:03:41.320 --> 0:03:43.600 extremely different. So I kept asking her to something happened, 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:45.280 that something happened, and something happened. 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.360 So more I love the story is he molested her. 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:50.400 Oh my god. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.640 So I could never be with him again after that. 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:56.000 And now I know this sounds crazy. 0:03:56.320 --> 0:04:01.560 So now my kids are older, they're sixteen, ten, nine, eight, 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:05.880 and six, so I just really want to I just 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:08.680 be feeling like I need help. Sometimes it's nobody but myself. 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:10.880 It's just only me and my children. I don't even 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:12.840 be knowing what to start at. Some days, I just 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:14.600 be wanting somebody to pat me on the back and say, 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:16.120 you know what you're doing, a good job, You're a 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:19.280 good mother. I do also want a relationship, and it's 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:22.520 so hard looking for love even friendship, So I just 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.120 want somebody, and it's hard not having anybody. So I 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:27.159 guess I don't even know if I'm asking a questions 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:29.880 or if I'm just vincent, because I don't. It's hard 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:31.800 trying to tell people that because when people will see 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:32.920 you with five kids. 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.039 They instantly judge you and be like, oh, you have 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:35.679 all these. 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:39.080 Kids, you're deadbeat and you're dumb and da da dah, 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:40.320 and the man do wants you. 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:42.640 But the whole time, to me, i'm invest than my daughter. 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:45.120 But it's like a secret that I don't tell anybody, 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:47.520 and I really don't know what to do. And then 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:49.279 I do want to be in a relationship, and I 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:51.479 do want love, but it's hard because I don't really 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:52.719 trust anybody. 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:53.000 Because of that. 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:57.080 Well, that would definitely prompt you to have trust issues 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:58.320 for the rest of your life. 0:04:58.600 --> 0:04:59.120 I don't know. 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:01.120 And then it's like, if I do meet a guy, 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:04.360 do I tell him that, like, hey, yeah, this is why. 0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:05.000 We're not together. 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.160 Some far I've just been telling people he did, because 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:09.680 I don't really know what else to say. 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.279 It's just hard. Sometimes I wish I had somebody even 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:14.320 like family. 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:16.960 I just really want to marry somebody with a big family, 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:19.320 and I just feel like I don't never happen because 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:21.360 I got five kids and I love my kids. 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:24.320 But no, I understand, I totally understand. 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.239 I don't even know where I'm at in this message 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.280 because my kids they say, you're not going to go 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:29.960 bothering me. 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:32.719 I never get no time to myself. 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:35.000 I'm literally clumped up in the bathroom and they steady 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:37.440 coming to me, bothering me, knocking on the do. 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.359 Well of the story, I'm just looking for love, looking 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:44.159 for a family, and I don't know how. I don't 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:45.560 know how to look for friends. I don't know how 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:48.000 to look for love. I just don't know. 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:50.400 I just know I'm sad because I feel like I 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:52.840 have nobody. Some days I just be wanting somebody to 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:53.839 just give me a hub. 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:56.160 It's crazy. I'm not about to sit a hen crowd up. 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:59.039 Because life is life in so just if you have 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.920 any you know, not even advice, it's just some words 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:03.320 of encouragement that would be great. 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.040 And I really hope you get things. I know you've. 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:08.560 Probably overwhelmed with messages, and even if you don't get it, 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:11.640 I guess it felt good just to finally let all 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:13.600 these things out because I've been holding it in for 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:14.760 so many years. 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:17.640 All Right, I don't get that Jessica. 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:21.080 Oh I love that she addressed me, calling me Jessica. 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:23.160 A lot of people just call me Jesse hilarious, jess 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.719 with the mask. You know, I do love that, though. 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:30.960 She also wrote a paragraph after submitting her voice, notice 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.839 that I'm just overwhelmed without a soul. I can't even 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:35.960 cry because I got to remain strong for my kids. 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:38.000 But it's hard. Some days I just want to hug 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.239 and it will be okay. It's hard sometimes I feel 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.480 myself being a horrible parent because I can't poor love 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:48.360 in my kids because I have none to poor man 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:51.640 If you love me. You'll listen to this commercial and 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:55.839 then we'll be right back. Well, listen, I'm going to 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:59.559 start off by saying, I love that you are open 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:03.000 enough to go into every part of it, you know, 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:05.560 with me, because you could have very well, you know, 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:10.119 held back. But as a result of holding back, people 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.920 get depressed. People often turn to drugs and suicide and 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:19.600 other things like that. What you've gone through is definitely traumatic, 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:21.560 especially for your baby. 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:21.880 Girl. 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:23.880 You understand what I'm saying now. I know that you 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:25.640 were younger. I do know that you said you met 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:29.320 him when you were twelve, You got pregnant at seventeen, 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:33.280 you know, you had your first child at eighteen. If 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:36.560 I'm remembering right, I think it was sixteen or seventeen. 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:38.960 But you had a baby before you were twenty, you know, 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:40.840 and then you had five by the time you were 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:45.680 twenty four. Did you not realize the first time that 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.080 he went to jail for domestic violence? And I'm going 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:51.520 to assume that it was, you know, a case with you. 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.320 He went to jail for hitting on you, beating on you, 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:57.800 of course the first time. Why didn't you go the 0:07:57.880 --> 0:07:58.480 first time? 0:07:58.520 --> 0:07:58.800 Baby? 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:01.120 I know you were young, yess I know no, but 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.600 you are still old enough to realize this is not 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:07.280 what a man is supposed to be doing. Now, I 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:08.440 have a lot of people that are going to be 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.000 upset with me, maybe even you are going to be 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:12.600 upset with me. But let's just look at it for 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.480 what it really is. Your mom kicked you out, you 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:17.240 know you were being grown. It is what it is. 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:20.400 You know you were being grown. You were living with 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:24.000 your boyfriend at seventeen. You have to look at this timeline. 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:25.400 You know you met him when you were twelve. Then 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.160 you're not even telling me how old he is, and 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:29.640 if you did, I'm sorry I didn't catch that. So 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.200 I'm imagining that he's much older than you because he 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:34.360 prayed on you. You know, a lot of men pray 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.600 on younger women, and a lot of older women pray 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:38.720 on younger men. It's the same, you know, vice versa, 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:41.480 and either are right. It doesn't make it better because 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:43.960 it's a woman. It's not right. If a man can't 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:48.760 do it, a woman should not either, you know. So, yeah, 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:50.920 he went to jail. You met him when you were twelve, 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:53.800 Your parents kicked you out, You went to live with 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.640 him a long way from home. Obviously, because you said 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:58.120 that you were in a town where you didn't even 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:01.040 know anybody. He went to jail for for beating you, 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.199 you know, for putting his hands on you, domestic violence. 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.680 You were pregnant, you had the first baby. Obviously, you're 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:08.440 not gonna tell me that he ever stopped putting his 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.719 hands on you. He never stopped putting his hands on you, 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:12.880 even when he came on from jail. He didn't you 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:14.960 mean to tell me, As young as you were, you 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.360 didn't realize that that was not a situation that a 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.120 young woman should have to endure. Do you really mean 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:24.440 to tell me that, you know? Because I feel you, baby, 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.679 I feel your empathy. I do, I do, and I 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:33.319 sympathize with you for your child, mostly because he molested 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:37.000 his own daughter. Okay, so he belongs six feet fucking under, 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.079 and I am very sorry to say that he deserved 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.720 the fucking electric chair. He deserves to go to jail, 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:47.200 never come out. He deserves everything negative in life. He 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:50.000 does not deserve to prosper at all. I don't care. 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.200 I don't give a fuck what people say. People change, 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:56.360 People change. You molested your child. You sent his children 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:58.079 with him because you did point out that he was 0:09:58.120 --> 0:09:59.880 a great dad. He showed you that he was a 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.079 ain't shit man, but that never stopped him from being 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:05.400 a good dad. And then you go on to tell 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:08.280 me that your daughter went with him for a summer 0:10:08.480 --> 0:10:11.319 along with the other four kids that you two have together, 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.200 and your daughter came back and you noticed that she 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:18.840 was different, she was very different. That's sad, that's very 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:20.840 very sad. And then later you found out that she 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:24.040 was molested. Of course you didn't see this coming. No 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:27.480 mother in her right mind would send their child with 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.880 a man, even with it being her biological father, if 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:33.720 they had any inkling that he would touch her inappropriately 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:37.000 in that way. What did you do for her? That's 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:39.400 what I want to know when you found out, because 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:41.360 you said you'd like to keep this a secret. That's 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:43.680 the problem in these black families as well. I can't 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:45.520 speak for any other race because I am not any 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:48.680 other race, but a problem in black households is we 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:51.679 sweep shit under the rug and we keep going as 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:55.959 if shit never fucking happened. Like you hear these stories about, 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:58.560 you know, a child being ripped by our uncles for 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:02.160 years and years, and the found out and just cut 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:03.800 the unc just cut her brother off. She just cut 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:05.959 the uncle off. She didn't take any type of legal action, 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:07.720 and they just swept in under the rug. And then 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:10.920 you grow up. Then the child grows up all promiscuous 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.640 and shit or thinking that this is regular because there 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:17.480 was never any action taken against her uncle. You know 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:19.600 what I'm saying, What did you do? Did you call 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:21.640 the police? Did you get them locked up? What did 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:23.600 you do? And then what did you do for her? 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.040 You know, what did you do to really set an 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:31.559 example to say this is not right? This is my baby, 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.640 this is your child. You raped her. You gotta pay 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:38.680 for this shit. You understand what legal action was taking? 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:40.840 And then also did you get her therapy? Do you 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:42.760 talk to her? Is she allowed to open up about 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:44.280 it around you? Because if you like to keep her 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.480 a secret, I know, damn well, she ain't supposed to 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:50.240 be saying nothing about it, you know? Is that how 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.319 you raised her after that? Like, look, we don't talk 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:56.240 about this because that's wrong. You know, she may have 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.800 issues for the rest of her life because of this, 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:03.920 you know, and listen, I understand, you want love, you 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:07.640 want friends. It's very hard being lonely, but with five children. 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:09.120 You can't be lonely. 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:13.000 I understand that you have five children can't give you intimacy, 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.280 they can't get but that's gonna have to be on 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.920 a back burner until you really heal, because you haven't 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.880 healed yourself. You have not healed. It's nothing wrong with 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:22.680 having a person that you can talk to and stuff 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.520 like that. All you gotta do is get out. That's easy, 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.880 finding somebody to just talk to. But you're trying to 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:28.480 be in love. You want to get married, you want to, 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:30.920 but that's gonna take a lot of work, honey, because 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:34.480 there's been a lot of traumatic moments that led up 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:38.960 to you being damaged. You are damaged, Your daughter is damaged, 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:41.120 and I don't know about the rest of your four 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.800 beautiful children. But who's to say that he didn't do 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:45.960 that in front of them? Who's to say that you know? 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:50.600 We just don't know, okay, Because if you molest one child, 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:52.400 and you treat one child like shit, or you put 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:55.040 your hands on one child, the rest of them aren't exempt. 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.160 You just have to assume that he's a danger to 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.640 all of them. All of them are in danger around 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:03.560 the fuck father. You understand what I'm saying, how is 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.640 the relationship between you and your kids? You said, sometimes 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.400 you feel like a horrible parent. Do you look at 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.880 them and see him? Do you see them as a 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:14.360 product of him? And you know and you get disgusted 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.800 with them? You know, because you need therapy. You need 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:22.360 to heal tremendously before you make a decision to date somebody. Baby, 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:26.120 This is not just gonna be a I date now 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:29.440 all my problems are gone away. No, you have to 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.200 connect with your children. Connect with them. Let them know 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:34.880 what their father is. You need to let them know 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:36.840 why you left their dad. You need to explain to 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:39.680 them everything that you explained to me, because that's all 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.000 you got is your children. They ain't gonna never leave you. 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:45.520 They'll never telling you, They'll never leave you. Hold up, 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:47.520 hold up, I know this shit getting good, But listen 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.640 to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:53.760 love me, you'll listen. Are you religious? Do you have 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.920 do you pray? You know? Do you meditate? Do yoga? 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.760 What do you do? You know? What are you doing 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:03.439 for job? What do you do in your free time? 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:05.960 You know? Do you not have one homegirl? Are you 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.760 close with your parents? Have you and your mom or dad, 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:11.680 you know, reconvened. Since you left this man, you know, 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:14.520 does he still contact you? I need to know. I 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:16.760 need to know these things so I can tell you 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.240 or advise you on how to move with your social life. 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.680 But first you need to sit down and see somebody professionally. 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:25.920 You and your babies. You need to do individual therapy, 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.200 but you need a family therapist as well. That's what 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.720 y'all need in that house. I don't care if you 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:34.280 don't think it's it's not gonna work. It works. Therapy 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:38.000 works and it helps people. It does help. We are 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:41.880 living in the times right now. Mental health is trending. 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:45.480 People want to fix themselves. We didn't even know we 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:49.240 had help for mental health until just recently, but now 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:51.480 we do. We have all types of resources that can 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:54.600 help you. I feel so bad for you and your babies. 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.240 Yes I do, And it's the holidays now as well. 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:01.560 Hold your baby tight, love on them. They are all 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.600 you have. They are all you have. It still could 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.400 be worse because you could not have them. You could 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:09.040 have lost them, CPS could have took them right the 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.000 fuck up out of there. You understand, you got your babies, 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:14.960 all five of them, all of them teenagers all the 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.600 way down to six to a six year old. Take 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.640 your babies, love on them. They're going to be your strength, 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.480 and you on return have to be theirs because they 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.520 are still the children they didn't next to be here. 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:29.280 You gotta put that big mommy head on, and you 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:33.200 put your big girl panties on, and you got to pray. 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:36.120 You know, I'm not trying to force a religion on you. 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:38.040 I am a Christian woman, god fearing woman. 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:38.640 Yes. 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:42.320 But whoever you believe in, whatever you believe in, that's 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:45.040 what you need to do. You understand what I'm saying. 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:47.120 And I need an update because I want to know 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:49.680 how you're doing. I want to know how you're doing. 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.600 Jesus Christ. Damn. That made me. Oh man, that just 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.120 made that makes me feel so bad for this woman 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:02.080 and and her children, you know. And like she said, 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:04.960 I don't even know if this is a question or not, 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:07.480 or if I'm venting. I don't know. Like you know, 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:09.520 she says she doesn't know what to do. I think 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.080 she's doing both. She's venting while still in a place 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:14.360 where she doesn't know what to do. She feels lonely, 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.680 you know, and she doesn't think a man is going 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:21.120 to want her after having five kids. Let me tell 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:23.400 you something, babe, it could be way worse for you 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.840 in that dating pool with your kids. You could have 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:29.320 five different baby daddies. No shame to nobody else who 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.800 does you know, But I'm saying it could be that thing, 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:36.400 because then a man, a man will look at a 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:38.560 woman and say, damn, you got five kids by five 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:41.520 different niggas. Oh nah, I ain't fucking with this bit, 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:43.960 you know what I'm saying. It goes the same way. 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:47.120 My son's dad got five kids. It's certain women that 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:49.600 will not mess with him because all five of his 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.520 children don't belong to one woman. They belong to five 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:56.120 different women, you know, myself included. So it's like it 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.720 would be his preference. If you do reveal that you 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.480 got five kids, it'd be like, nah, but you know, 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.760 all five of your children were produced early by one man. 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.400 It doesn't make it better all around the board, per se, 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:09.960 but it makes it better. All of your children. They 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:11.760 you know, they have to left the same last name, 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:12.440 the same dad. 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:12.960 You know. 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:17.560 It just makes it easier. I'm not saying it makes 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.439 it better. I'm just saying it makes it easier for 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:23.800 you to date when all five of your children belong 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.320 to one man. But I don't think you that. I 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.200 don't think you should be worried about dating right now. 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:31.639 And I understand how it feels to be alone and 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:35.400 just want an intimate touch or that person that could 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:37.400 tell you I love you, past you on the back. 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:39.840 You need a hug. You go hug them babies until 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:42.960 you meet someone that will give you a genuine hug 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.920 and that will will love you for you and love 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.399 your babies as well. But I think you should go 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:50.600 get your daughter some help, and I think you should 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:53.560 get help as well. Don't make nothing a fucking secret 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:56.480 because this shit is happening every day somewhere. So you're 0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:59.160 not the only person who went through this shit. Your 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.560 baby is not the only person who was molested by 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.800