1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: the Black Effects. Oh Shit, be back on the air. 3 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: girl ess hilarious. What I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess. 5 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: Y'all know that, and that's why we got to jump 6 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: straight into it today. We got some voice noes, y'all know. 7 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: I love when we get voice notes because then I 8 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: ain't got to read through people's errors and their essays 9 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,239 Speaker 1: and PDFs that they be senting and shit. So this 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: is actually good. Also, I just want to throw in there, 11 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:40,199 Speaker 1: I don't mind, I don't mind reading, Okay, I just 12 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 1: need for y'all to come punctual study literacy. I mean, 13 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 1: I know a lot of y'all ain't been in school 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: for a long time. I've been out of school since 15 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: twenty ten. But it helps me get through your story 16 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: much better. It helps me. It helps me. That's why 17 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaker 1: I haven't read a lot of stories that's being sent 18 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: to me, because I can't make sense of all the 19 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: run on sentences and how y'all misspelling stuff and all that. 20 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 1: I'm not saying nobody is uneducated. I'm just saying y'all 21 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 1: be rushing and shit, then y'all talk with slang and 22 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: all that. I don't know how to decipher what y'all 23 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: be talking about because a lot of y'all are not 24 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: from Baltimore, So if it ain't Baltimore lingo, I don't 25 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: understand it, y'all. However, I do love you guys. And 26 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: then also I see a lot of people have been 27 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 1: getting confused on where to send audio because I haven't 28 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 1: made the announcement in a while. Yes, you have to 29 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: send your voice memos to the Carefully Reckless podcast page, 30 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: not just Hilarious official not Reckless Discussions, because this is 31 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: not either of those, and not co Parenting Therapy. I 32 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: notice a lot of you guys send voice notes to 33 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 1: co Parenting that's for Rome and I. That's not for 34 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: a carefully reckless that doesn't cater to carefully Reckless unless 35 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: you want it to be read on the Carefully Reckless podcast. 36 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: But I'm under the impression when you guys send voice 37 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: notes to co Parenting Therapy page that you guys want 38 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: Rome and I to help you with something which we 39 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: will be launching, relaunching another season where we actually sit 40 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: down with people and talk with them and try to 41 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: sort out their differences for cool parents and Okay, then 42 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 1: let's jump straight on. 43 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: Okay, girl, this about to be long. Okay. 44 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 3: So I met this guy when I was twelve years old, 45 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 3: so blah blah blah. 46 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 2: We got in trouble together. You know how that. 47 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 3: First love type stuff goes. So at sixteen, I had 48 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 3: a baby. Seventeen, I got pregnant seven seen, my mom 49 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 3: kicked me out of the house. We wound up leaving 50 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 3: the area that we lived in and moved like three 51 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 3: or four hours away. 52 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 2: I was homeless. He went to jail for domestic violence. 53 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 2: I didn't have anywhere to go. So then I wound 54 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 2: up getting back with him. I wound up getting my 55 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 2: own place when I was eighteen. 56 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 3: All of the story, and he was very abusive the 57 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 3: whole entire relationship. 58 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 2: And then he wound up trapping me with five kids. 59 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 3: I know, people don't really talk about that, how men 60 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 3: trapped females with five kids. But I was so young. 61 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 3: I was in the town where I really didn't know anybody. 62 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 3: He had the homecourt advantage because we were in the 63 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 3: town that his family was from. So yeah, he wound 64 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 3: up by the time I was twenty four and I had. 65 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: Five kids Jesus Christ honey. 66 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,119 Speaker 2: So then, yeah, I don't know what part I left 67 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 2: off one. So anyway, by the. 68 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 3: Time I was twenty four, I had five kids, and 69 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 3: he wound up going to jail. 70 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 2: He got sentenced to three years. Boom. 71 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 3: So he gets out after three years. I'm doing a 72 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 3: little bit better for myself. I still have the five children, 73 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 3: but I am doing better. 74 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 2: So he agrees to take my kids for the summer. 75 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 3: And I appreciated that because, mind you, I've been knowing 76 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,359 Speaker 3: him since I was twelve years old. 77 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 2: I thought I could trust him. 78 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 3: So he takes it. 79 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 2: He was a good dad. He was very a horrible boyfriend, 80 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 2: very big so, but he wasn't a bad dad. So 81 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 2: when he gets out of. 82 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 3: Jail, he takes his kids for the summer. My daughter, 83 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 3: and my oldest daughter at the time, was nine years old. 84 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 3: She came back, and when she came back, she was 85 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 3: extremely different. So I kept asking her to something happened, 86 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 3: that something happened, and something happened. 87 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 2: So more I love the story is he molested her. 88 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: Oh my god. 89 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 2: So I could never be with him again after that. 90 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 2: And now I know this sounds crazy. 91 00:03:56,320 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 3: So now my kids are older, they're sixteen, ten, nine, eight, 92 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 3: and six, so I just really want to I just 93 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 3: be feeling like I need help. Sometimes it's nobody but myself. 94 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 3: It's just only me and my children. I don't even 95 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 3: be knowing what to start at. Some days, I just 96 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 3: be wanting somebody to pat me on the back and say, 97 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 3: you know what you're doing, a good job, You're a 98 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 3: good mother. I do also want a relationship, and it's 99 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 3: so hard looking for love even friendship, So I just 100 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 3: want somebody, and it's hard not having anybody. So I 101 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 3: guess I don't even know if I'm asking a questions 102 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 3: or if I'm just vincent, because I don't. It's hard 103 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 3: trying to tell people that because when people will see 104 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 3: you with five kids. 105 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 2: They instantly judge you and be like, oh, you have 106 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:35,679 Speaker 2: all these. 107 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 3: Kids, you're deadbeat and you're dumb and da da dah, 108 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 3: and the man do wants you. 109 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 2: But the whole time, to me, i'm invest than my daughter. 110 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 3: But it's like a secret that I don't tell anybody, 111 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 3: and I really don't know what to do. And then 112 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 3: I do want to be in a relationship, and I 113 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 3: do want love, but it's hard because I don't really 114 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 3: trust anybody. 115 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 2: Because of that. 116 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: Well, that would definitely prompt you to have trust issues 117 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. 118 00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. 119 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 3: And then it's like, if I do meet a guy, 120 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 3: do I tell him that, like, hey, yeah, this is why. 121 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 2: We're not together. 122 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 3: Some far I've just been telling people he did, because 123 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 3: I don't really know what else to say. 124 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 2: It's just hard. Sometimes I wish I had somebody even 125 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 2: like family. 126 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 3: I just really want to marry somebody with a big family, 127 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 3: and I just feel like I don't never happen because 128 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 3: I got five kids and I love my kids. 129 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: But no, I understand, I totally understand. 130 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,239 Speaker 3: I don't even know where I'm at in this message 131 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 3: because my kids they say, you're not going to go 132 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 3: bothering me. 133 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 2: I never get no time to myself. 134 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 3: I'm literally clumped up in the bathroom and they steady 135 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 3: coming to me, bothering me, knocking on the do. 136 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 2: Well of the story, I'm just looking for love, looking 137 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 2: for a family, and I don't know how. I don't 138 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 2: know how to look for friends. I don't know how 139 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 2: to look for love. I just don't know. 140 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 3: I just know I'm sad because I feel like I 141 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 3: have nobody. Some days I just be wanting somebody to 142 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 3: just give me a hub. 143 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,160 Speaker 2: It's crazy. I'm not about to sit a hen crowd up. 144 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 3: Because life is life in so just if you have 145 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 3: any you know, not even advice, it's just some words 146 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 3: of encouragement that would be great. 147 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 2: And I really hope you get things. I know you've. 148 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 3: Probably overwhelmed with messages, and even if you don't get it, 149 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 3: I guess it felt good just to finally let all 150 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,600 Speaker 3: these things out because I've been holding it in for 151 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 3: so many years. 152 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 2: All Right, I don't get that Jessica. 153 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: Oh I love that she addressed me, calling me Jessica. 154 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 1: A lot of people just call me Jesse hilarious, jess 155 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: with the mask. You know, I do love that, though. 156 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: She also wrote a paragraph after submitting her voice, notice 157 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 1: that I'm just overwhelmed without a soul. I can't even 158 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: cry because I got to remain strong for my kids. 159 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: But it's hard. Some days I just want to hug 160 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,239 Speaker 1: and it will be okay. It's hard sometimes I feel 161 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 1: myself being a horrible parent because I can't poor love 162 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 1: in my kids because I have none to poor man 163 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: If you love me. You'll listen to this commercial and 164 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Well, listen, I'm going to 165 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,559 Speaker 1: start off by saying, I love that you are open 166 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: enough to go into every part of it, you know, 167 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: with me, because you could have very well, you know, 168 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:10,119 Speaker 1: held back. But as a result of holding back, people 169 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: get depressed. People often turn to drugs and suicide and 170 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: other things like that. What you've gone through is definitely traumatic, 171 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: especially for your baby. 172 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 2: Girl. 173 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying now. I know that you 174 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: were younger. I do know that you said you met 175 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: him when you were twelve, You got pregnant at seventeen, 176 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: you know, you had your first child at eighteen. If 177 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: I'm remembering right, I think it was sixteen or seventeen. 178 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: But you had a baby before you were twenty, you know, 179 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: and then you had five by the time you were 180 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 1: twenty four. Did you not realize the first time that 181 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 1: he went to jail for domestic violence? And I'm going 182 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: to assume that it was, you know, a case with you. 183 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: He went to jail for hitting on you, beating on you, 184 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: of course the first time. Why didn't you go the 185 00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: first time? 186 00:07:58,520 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 2: Baby? 187 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: I know you were young, yess I know no, but 188 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: you are still old enough to realize this is not 189 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: what a man is supposed to be doing. Now, I 190 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: have a lot of people that are going to be 191 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: upset with me, maybe even you are going to be 192 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: upset with me. But let's just look at it for 193 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: what it really is. Your mom kicked you out, you 194 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: know you were being grown. It is what it is. 195 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: You know you were being grown. You were living with 196 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: your boyfriend at seventeen. You have to look at this timeline. 197 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: You know you met him when you were twelve. Then 198 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 1: you're not even telling me how old he is, and 199 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: if you did, I'm sorry I didn't catch that. So 200 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: I'm imagining that he's much older than you because he 201 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 1: prayed on you. You know, a lot of men pray 202 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: on younger women, and a lot of older women pray 203 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: on younger men. It's the same, you know, vice versa, 204 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: and either are right. It doesn't make it better because 205 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 1: it's a woman. It's not right. If a man can't 206 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: do it, a woman should not either, you know. So, yeah, 207 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: he went to jail. You met him when you were twelve, 208 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: Your parents kicked you out, You went to live with 209 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: him a long way from home. Obviously, because you said 210 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: that you were in a town where you didn't even 211 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: know anybody. He went to jail for for beating you, 212 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,199 Speaker 1: you know, for putting his hands on you, domestic violence. 213 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 1: You were pregnant, you had the first baby. Obviously, you're 214 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 1: not gonna tell me that he ever stopped putting his 215 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,719 Speaker 1: hands on you. He never stopped putting his hands on you, 216 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: even when he came on from jail. He didn't you 217 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: mean to tell me, As young as you were, you 218 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: didn't realize that that was not a situation that a 219 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: young woman should have to endure. Do you really mean 220 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: to tell me that, you know? Because I feel you, baby, 221 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 1: I feel your empathy. I do, I do, and I 222 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 1: sympathize with you for your child, mostly because he molested 223 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: his own daughter. Okay, so he belongs six feet fucking under, 224 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,079 Speaker 1: and I am very sorry to say that he deserved 225 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 1: the fucking electric chair. He deserves to go to jail, 226 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 1: never come out. He deserves everything negative in life. He 227 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 1: does not deserve to prosper at all. I don't care. 228 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,200 Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck what people say. People change, 229 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: People change. You molested your child. You sent his children 230 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 1: with him because you did point out that he was 231 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: a great dad. He showed you that he was a 232 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: ain't shit man, but that never stopped him from being 233 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 1: a good dad. And then you go on to tell 234 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: me that your daughter went with him for a summer 235 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 1: along with the other four kids that you two have together, 236 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: and your daughter came back and you noticed that she 237 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 1: was different, she was very different. That's sad, that's very 238 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: very sad. And then later you found out that she 239 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: was molested. Of course you didn't see this coming. No 240 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: mother in her right mind would send their child with 241 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: a man, even with it being her biological father, if 242 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: they had any inkling that he would touch her inappropriately 243 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: in that way. What did you do for her? That's 244 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: what I want to know when you found out, because 245 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: you said you'd like to keep this a secret. That's 246 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: the problem in these black families as well. I can't 247 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: speak for any other race because I am not any 248 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 1: other race, but a problem in black households is we 249 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 1: sweep shit under the rug and we keep going as 250 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 1: if shit never fucking happened. Like you hear these stories about, 251 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 1: you know, a child being ripped by our uncles for 252 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: years and years, and the found out and just cut 253 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: the unc just cut her brother off. She just cut 254 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 1: the uncle off. She didn't take any type of legal action, 255 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: and they just swept in under the rug. And then 256 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: you grow up. Then the child grows up all promiscuous 257 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: and shit or thinking that this is regular because there 258 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: was never any action taken against her uncle. You know 259 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, What did you do? Did you call 260 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: the police? Did you get them locked up? What did 261 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: you do? And then what did you do for her? 262 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 1: You know, what did you do to really set an 263 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:31,559 Speaker 1: example to say this is not right? This is my baby, 264 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: this is your child. You raped her. You gotta pay 265 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:38,680 Speaker 1: for this shit. You understand what legal action was taking? 266 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 1: And then also did you get her therapy? Do you 267 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: talk to her? Is she allowed to open up about 268 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: it around you? Because if you like to keep her 269 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: a secret, I know, damn well, she ain't supposed to 270 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: be saying nothing about it, you know? Is that how 271 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,319 Speaker 1: you raised her after that? Like, look, we don't talk 272 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: about this because that's wrong. You know, she may have 273 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: issues for the rest of her life because of this, 274 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: you know, and listen, I understand, you want love, you 275 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: want friends. It's very hard being lonely, but with five children. 276 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 2: You can't be lonely. 277 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: I understand that you have five children can't give you intimacy, 278 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: they can't get but that's gonna have to be on 279 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: a back burner until you really heal, because you haven't 280 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: healed yourself. You have not healed. It's nothing wrong with 281 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 1: having a person that you can talk to and stuff 282 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: like that. All you gotta do is get out. That's easy, 283 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: finding somebody to just talk to. But you're trying to 284 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: be in love. You want to get married, you want to, 285 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: but that's gonna take a lot of work, honey, because 286 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: there's been a lot of traumatic moments that led up 287 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: to you being damaged. You are damaged, Your daughter is damaged, 288 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 1: and I don't know about the rest of your four 289 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 1: beautiful children. But who's to say that he didn't do 290 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: that in front of them? Who's to say that you know? 291 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 1: We just don't know, okay, Because if you molest one child, 292 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: and you treat one child like shit, or you put 293 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: your hands on one child, the rest of them aren't exempt. 294 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: You just have to assume that he's a danger to 295 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: all of them. All of them are in danger around 296 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 1: the fuck father. You understand what I'm saying, how is 297 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: the relationship between you and your kids? You said, sometimes 298 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: you feel like a horrible parent. Do you look at 299 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: them and see him? Do you see them as a 300 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: product of him? And you know and you get disgusted 301 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: with them? You know, because you need therapy. You need 302 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: to heal tremendously before you make a decision to date somebody. Baby, 303 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: This is not just gonna be a I date now 304 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 1: all my problems are gone away. No, you have to 305 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 1: connect with your children. Connect with them. Let them know 306 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: what their father is. You need to let them know 307 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: why you left their dad. You need to explain to 308 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,680 Speaker 1: them everything that you explained to me, because that's all 309 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: you got is your children. They ain't gonna never leave you. 310 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: They'll never telling you, They'll never leave you. Hold up, 311 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: hold up, I know this shit getting good, But listen 312 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you 313 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: love me, you'll listen. Are you religious? Do you have 314 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 1: do you pray? You know? Do you meditate? Do yoga? 315 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: What do you do? You know? What are you doing 316 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 1: for job? What do you do in your free time? 317 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: You know? Do you not have one homegirl? Are you 318 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: close with your parents? Have you and your mom or dad, 319 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,680 Speaker 1: you know, reconvened. Since you left this man, you know, 320 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 1: does he still contact you? I need to know. I 321 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 1: need to know these things so I can tell you 322 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: or advise you on how to move with your social life. 323 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 1: But first you need to sit down and see somebody professionally. 324 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 1: You and your babies. You need to do individual therapy, 325 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: but you need a family therapist as well. That's what 326 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 1: y'all need in that house. I don't care if you 327 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: don't think it's it's not gonna work. It works. Therapy 328 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: works and it helps people. It does help. We are 329 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: living in the times right now. Mental health is trending. 330 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: People want to fix themselves. We didn't even know we 331 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,240 Speaker 1: had help for mental health until just recently, but now 332 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 1: we do. We have all types of resources that can 333 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 1: help you. I feel so bad for you and your babies. 334 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: Yes I do, And it's the holidays now as well. 335 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 1: Hold your baby tight, love on them. They are all 336 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: you have. They are all you have. It still could 337 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: be worse because you could not have them. You could 338 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: have lost them, CPS could have took them right the 339 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: fuck up out of there. You understand, you got your babies, 340 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: all five of them, all of them teenagers all the 341 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 1: way down to six to a six year old. Take 342 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 1: your babies, love on them. They're going to be your strength, 343 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: and you on return have to be theirs because they 344 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 1: are still the children they didn't next to be here. 345 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 1: You gotta put that big mommy head on, and you 346 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 1: put your big girl panties on, and you got to pray. 347 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: You know, I'm not trying to force a religion on you. 348 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: I am a Christian woman, god fearing woman. 349 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 2: Yes. 350 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: But whoever you believe in, whatever you believe in, that's 351 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: what you need to do. You understand what I'm saying. 352 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: And I need an update because I want to know 353 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: how you're doing. I want to know how you're doing. 354 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Damn. That made me. Oh man, that just 355 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 1: made that makes me feel so bad for this woman 356 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: and and her children, you know. And like she said, 357 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: I don't even know if this is a question or not, 358 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: or if I'm venting. I don't know. Like you know, 359 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: she says she doesn't know what to do. I think 360 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: she's doing both. She's venting while still in a place 361 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: where she doesn't know what to do. She feels lonely, 362 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: you know, and she doesn't think a man is going 363 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: to want her after having five kids. Let me tell 364 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 1: you something, babe, it could be way worse for you 365 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 1: in that dating pool with your kids. You could have 366 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 1: five different baby daddies. No shame to nobody else who 367 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: does you know, But I'm saying it could be that thing, 368 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: because then a man, a man will look at a 369 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: woman and say, damn, you got five kids by five 370 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 1: different niggas. Oh nah, I ain't fucking with this bit, 371 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It goes the same way. 372 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: My son's dad got five kids. It's certain women that 373 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: will not mess with him because all five of his 374 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: children don't belong to one woman. They belong to five 375 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: different women, you know, myself included. So it's like it 376 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 1: would be his preference. If you do reveal that you 377 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 1: got five kids, it'd be like, nah, but you know, 378 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: all five of your children were produced early by one man. 379 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,400 Speaker 1: It doesn't make it better all around the board, per se, 380 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 1: but it makes it better. All of your children. They 381 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: you know, they have to left the same last name, 382 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,440 Speaker 1: the same dad. 383 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 2: You know. 384 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 1: It just makes it easier. I'm not saying it makes 385 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,439 Speaker 1: it better. I'm just saying it makes it easier for 386 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: you to date when all five of your children belong 387 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: to one man. But I don't think you that. I 388 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: don't think you should be worried about dating right now. 389 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: And I understand how it feels to be alone and 390 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,400 Speaker 1: just want an intimate touch or that person that could 391 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,400 Speaker 1: tell you I love you, past you on the back. 392 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: You need a hug. You go hug them babies until 393 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: you meet someone that will give you a genuine hug 394 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: and that will will love you for you and love 395 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,399 Speaker 1: your babies as well. But I think you should go 396 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: get your daughter some help, and I think you should 397 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: get help as well. Don't make nothing a fucking secret 398 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 1: because this shit is happening every day somewhere. So you're 399 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,160 Speaker 1: not the only person who went through this shit. Your 400 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 1: baby is not the only person who was molested by 401 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: her father. And then, obviously with her being so young, 402 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 1: what made her not tell you is he probably scared 403 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: her into not telling you. You understand what I'm saying. 404 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: Just think about every night she wanted to run away, 405 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: or she wanted to come the fuck home, she wanted 406 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 1: to call the police, she wanted to kill her father. 407 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,239 Speaker 1: She don't understand why her Why are you doing this 408 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: to me. Think of her, Think of how she was 409 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 1: feeling the same way you were feeling when he was 410 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 1: beating on your ass before you had four more children. 411 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 1: Do you feel me. I'm not here to coddle you. 412 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 1: I'm here to tell you you're stronger. You are a 413 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,439 Speaker 1: strong woman because you ain't on drugs, not that I 414 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: know of it, but I'm gonna go ahead and say 415 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: you ain't on no drugs. You are strong. You didn't 416 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 1: give those children away. You did not give them, you know, 417 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 1: put them in foster care. You could have gave them 418 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: up for adoption. You are strong and that's how I 419 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: know that you are strong enough. You're strong enough to 420 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: not give up right now because you want a man, 421 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: you know, you want to marry somebody with a big family. 422 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 1: All that shit will come. You have to get yourself together, 423 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: you know, and your baby. So just check back in 424 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 1: with me, because I really want to follow up with you. 425 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,159 Speaker 1: Oh my god, but we've come to the end of 426 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,160 Speaker 1: this episode because I don't even have time to read 427 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,200 Speaker 1: another story. We've come to yet the conclusion of another 428 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 1: episode of Carefully Reckless with your CIRL dressing. Hmm, my bad, y'all. 429 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,880 Speaker 1: I was eating a sandwich. The rest of my other 430 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,679 Speaker 1: half of my sandwich got cold, and shit, this story 431 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: was so damn good. I'm like, damn man. I mean 432 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 1: not good in a sense where it's like it's entertainment. 433 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,719 Speaker 1: I mean like this is some real life shit and 434 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: I had to delve into it. I had to stop 435 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,119 Speaker 1: biting all my saying. I got a bacon, egg and 436 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 1: cheese on white toast with butter and jelly mm, and 437 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: that was cold. You don't want to put no no 438 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: breakfast sandwich in a microwave. So you know I love you, girl. 439 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 1: You know I love you, And that's why I want 440 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: you to update me on everything you've got going on 441 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,159 Speaker 1: from here on out, you know. And it doesn't have 442 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,199 Speaker 1: to be an update for Carefully Reckless. You can just 443 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 1: update me anyway personally. You know what I'm san hand. 444 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: And if you don't want, you don't want the updates 445 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,479 Speaker 1: to be on the podcast, they don't have to be. 446 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,560 Speaker 1: I just want to make sure you're okay, all right, 447 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,440 Speaker 1: And that is the end, you guys. I'll see you 448 00:20:09,440 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 1: next week. Peace Can't Fully Reckless is a production of 449 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:28,160 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, 450 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen 451 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.