WEBVTT - Changing Last Names with Krystal Nielsen 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.400 Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:12.080 and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, and welcome to 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:15.360 another episode of Help I Suck At Dating. We have 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:18.720 another very special episode today, not just because of the 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.439 topic that we're going to be discussing, while that is 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:24.720 a very special topic, but also because it's one of 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:28.479 those rare moments where all three of us, Jared, Vanessa 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:32.159 and myself are in studio together and we're just having 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:34.839 the best time. We're just hashing it out, you know, 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:38.600 We're just sitting around talking about dating life, relationships, having 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.720 having a gay old time. Why is that saying falling 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:47.560 off time anymore? I think it's taking a different meaning 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:50.000 behind it now. It's just frustrating. I know what was 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:52.480 It's in the Brady Bunch song? Is that right? Yeah? 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:54.680 They say something about how happy and gay they are. 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:56.520 Didn't they remake a Brady Bunch of movie or something 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:58.760 like that? Previously? Too, there was two sequels. There was 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:00.600 a Brady Bunch and the Brady Bunch Equal. You seem 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:01.800 like the kind of guy who go see that one 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:03.560 of those movies in theaters. I think I saw the 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:05.920 first one in theater and he disappointed I was like 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:08.240 six at the time. It really wasn't my choice. I 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:10.400 was the parents. I'm sorry. I thought it was within 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:13.000 the past five years. No, not to my knowledge. I 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.440 just remember the one from the nineties that was pretty fantastic. 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:17.000 I'm not gonna lie, but it was a parody of 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:19.520 The Brady Bunch. It was it was a movie of 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.479 The Brady Bunch, but was also a parody. I love 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:23.480 how much you know about movies with the same actors 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.160 and actors are quite sad. No, no, no, no no recasting. 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:28.759 They had some of the former cast from the seventies 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.240 make cameos. It was interesting. Yeah, I didn't realize that 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:33.280 Bretty Bunch was the seventies show. I didn't even know 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:35.880 TV was around in the seven Yeah. Yeah, watching Pretty 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:38.800 Bunch what they were wearing, it was like, I just 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:41.920 don't remember the iconic intro with like the squares or 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:44.080 them like going down. It was like them going down 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:48.680 the staircase. Yeah, and it was like, how's that song go? 0:01:48.800 --> 0:01:52.480 It's a The Brady Bunch and at the Brady Bunch, 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:56.920 and I don't know that rings no bells for me, nothing, nothing. 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:04.280 You never watched an episode story by there, So the 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.400 reason I know that too is because they obviously do 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:08.760 so many parodies of that for Tom Brady, where it's 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:14.280 like always my fault. He brought up the Brady Bunch 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:16.280 and he's very right, but maybe he totally did it 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:19.400 before that episode started. Did you guys watch um like 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.680 real like real shows like that as children or cartoons? 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:26.200 I love cartoons? What was your go to cartoon? Um? Well, 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:27.640 I actually loved I don't know if you guys had 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:31.320 this t G I F t JF like Friday Friday. Yeah, 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:35.040 so they had no the On Fridays they'd have like 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:37.440 a lineup of Sabrina the Teenage, which it wasn't a cartoon, 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:42.160 but I loved anything Boy meants World, Sabrina the Teenage which, Um, 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:44.400 then there was another one with the basketball was that 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:49.919 no hang Time? And then there was that TV show 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:52.840 that what's his name was on it on a boat. 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:55.600 That's how he became he became famous. He was on 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:59.200 the Notebook. Yeah, I guess because he's a king. That 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:01.360 was a Disney thing. That was the Disney Channel. No, 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:03.480 it wasn't a Disney No, well he because he was 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:05.880 he was a Disney kid. I remember that. No, but 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:08.560 this is when he was a teenager. He anyways, the 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:11.120 premise of the show was he was a student on 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:13.800 a on a boat, on a cruise ship breaker high 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:18.120 Breaker high that. I guess it's an I guess it's 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:22.119 a Canadian. It was a Canadian show. Okay, that makes 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.520 so good. I'm like, I want to go in to school. 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:25.880 I want to go to school on a boat. Was 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:29.680 going famous in Canada before he started really becoming famale. 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:31.920 I think he really became famous because of the Notebook. 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:35.240 Oh yeah, I was like the Notebook was his big one. Um. 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.360 Because it's funny looking back at Ryan Gosling's IMDb and 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.800 I didn't know if like in Canada they're like, hey, 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.600 we got a guy and remember the Titans, Like he's 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.880 going to play the cornerback. He's a Canadian. I don't 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.520 even remember that. Yeah, you know I was the blondead. 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:51.560 He's the blond kid. Well, you know how the Notebook. 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:55.000 So apparently they cast him as the lead of the show. 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:58.160 And then what happens with is when you're making a 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.160 movie and you know you have a lead of the show, Oh, 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.480 you want to make sure that the person that they're 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.480 going to be uh playing with is like they have 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:08.280 a lot of chemistry. So apparently they hired him and 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:11.560 then they brought in McAdams. Yeah, exactly, and they thought 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:16.120 that the chemistry was like crazy. There's an audition tape 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:19.400 of Rachel McAdams reading for the part of Alley and 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:22.679 Notebook with Ryan Gosling, who has already casted. But apparently 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:24.360 there was rumors that they really did not get along 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.600 on set, which is interesting because then they date dated, yeah, 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:30.000 for years after that. I wonder if they broke up 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:33.040 during the movie too. Um, I can look that up 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.599 while you guys talk to someone. I wonder strats are 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:40.640 for people who um play like a scene with their partner, 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:42.839 and how many people actually end up dating after I 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:45.080 bet you that the fact that Gosling and McAdams had 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:47.600 its multuous relationship would help them both in that role 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:48.839 because it wasn't it kind of like a movie where 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:51.160 they had ups and downs in their relationships. Yeah, and 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:55.679 there's one of the great Like, I mean, I sometimes 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:57.600 can be a little dark, but there is a scene 0:04:57.600 --> 0:04:59.760 in that movie that I love. It's the fighting scene 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:04.719 that everybody watches. It's where Ali goes back so she's like, yeah, 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:08.279 she well, she goes so Ali goes to see Ryan Gosling. 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:11.120 They make love because they haven't seen each other in 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:12.640 years and they're still in love with each other, but 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:15.040 she's getting married to this guy. And then she goes 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.080 back and she's like, that was a mistake. I shouldn't 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:19.600 be with you. And then Ryan Gosling gives just an 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.920 awesome performance where he's, you know, trying to tell her 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:25.520 that he's the one she really wants and she doesn't 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:29.200 love the other guy. And we watched movies like this 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:30.919 or like, oh, this is real life, this is what 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:33.479 it's supposed to be. Like, yeah, it's the meme where 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.839 he's like, what do you want? And now it's like 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:41.200 a meme of like anytime to dinner, what do you want? 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:46.520 I don't know? Um, so, yeah, it's pretty fantastic. Is 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:50.440 that I don't know? No, it's she doesn't say anything. 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:52.760 That's the whole point. It's like she's so indecisive, she 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:55.159 can't even say anything. Anyways, That love story is so cute. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:58.760 We break down romantic movies. That's definitely a relationship topic. 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:00.400 Do that on an episode that I'm not here because 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.839 I don't know as much about movies, so, oh, you 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:04.680 know way more than I do. There's got to be 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:07.200 some sort of romantic movie that you have seen, or 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:11.560 Titanic seeing Titanic. Yeah, but I feel like Jared could 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.479 dissect these movies ten ways from about dissecting, but there's 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:16.080 got to be a movie that you love out there 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.480 that what about how was a guy in ten Days? Definitely? 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.720 Maybe I think it's about you, Definitely. Maybe that's an 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:26.080 interesting choice. Ryan Reynolds fan, He's like my, He's like my, 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:31.040 He's my cheap guy. You know. Really she's also Canadian, right, Yeah? 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:33.360 I think Rymes he's from Vancouver. A lot of the 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:36.000 good ones I like to call out the Canadian people. 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:39.680 There's a lot of good ones. Keanu Reeves is Canadian. Yeah, Yes, 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:43.400 there's some good Canadian blood that I'm very envious of. 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:47.320 It isn't Jim Carrey Canadian, Wayne Gretzky's Canadian, Wayne Gretzky's Canadian, 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:54.280 Vanessa Grimaldi's Canadian, Vanessamaldi's Canadian, Justin Bieber's Canadian Calm Bristoke. 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.600 I mean, Drake's awesome obviously, but also very annoying. During 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:04.800 the NBA Finals, did you see that post that he 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:08.039 um when he was going into I don't know Who's 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:10.160 hair and got a piece of lint and then posted 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:12.760 a picture saying this lint is up for sale on 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:18.080 eBay and it actually so Yeah, he was such a troll. Um, 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:20.200 there's not so definitely maybe as you'r like, go to 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:24.960 Ryan Ryan, Ryan Reynolds, what about yours? Who might go to? Um? 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:27.480 Obviously I'm a big one. Harry met Sally Van Is 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:32.960 that obvious? Um, it's pretty obvious. I guess, oh, if 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:37.160 you want, well, it's not obvious. But um, when everything 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:40.480 was happening with Ashley and me, that movie was just 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:43.600 very resonated, resonated a lot, especially the end when Billy 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:45.960 Crystal is because they've been friends in the movie, their 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:49.200 friends for ten years before Billy Crystal is like, he 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:50.920 goes to her at a New Year's Eve party. It's 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:52.600 a fantastic scene at the end of the movie. He 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.840 goes after Meg Ryan and she's standing there and it's 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.880 New Year's Eve and he's like, when you find out 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:00.880 who you want to spend the rest of your life with, 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:02.560 you what the rest of your life to start as 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.920 soon as possible. I mean, that's cute. Yeah, we have 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:08.400 Ashley and I have a little picture in our bedroom 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:12.400 that has that quite yeah, And I think our hashtag 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:14.240 for the wedding is going to be when Jared met 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:16.440 Ashley because we can't really think of one. That's a 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:18.520 great question that I never even thought to ask, what's 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.400 the wedding hashtag when Jared met? Actually? We're thinking so 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:25.040 that on in Ashley's bridal shower, it said it, it 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:27.280 said when Jared met Actually, that was like the hashtag 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.560 for a bridle shower. So I'm assuming that's going to 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:32.400 be for the wedding. It's more of Ashley's decision than mine. 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.199 I'm very indifferent because we can't think of a really 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.880 a good one. Um, and that's cute and funny, and 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:40.719 do you actually crowdsource it, like like put it out 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:42.400 to Instagram and be like, hey, we're trying to think 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:45.360 of something super creative. And we did that, and there's 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:46.920 a couple of good ones that I can't remember off 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:51.200 the top of my head. But well, it was like 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:54.719 when Ashley I becomes Ashley H or something along she 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.000 taking your last name, she will be taking my last name. 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:00.800 But she's still debating whether she's gonna Typhone. I think 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:03.760 she's finally decided she's gonna hyphen CANETI, so she may 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:07.400 be Ashley Nicole Ashley Nicole I CANETI Han. And what 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:11.000 about your children? Uh, they'll take my last name, so 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.040 just be blank. It's just crazy though, Like, can' we 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:16.280 just have that discussion. Why is it that children have 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:20.439 to take the men's last name um? Because they're like, 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:24.880 what the history behind that? Because men um? I think 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.960 it's probably just a sosogynistic thing. Yeah, it's definitely, but 0:09:28.000 --> 0:09:30.760 why are we still doing that? I agree? I mean, listen, 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.240 Josh's last name is Wolf. I would love for my 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.040 if we have kids, I would love for my kids 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:37.200 to have his last name. So I've been pretty vocal 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:38.599 about this. On the flip side of that, if and 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:40.959 when I get married, I would take my wife's last 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:42.960 name because it's such a suit you like doing things 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.640 in reverse. It's just such a ridiculous tradition. Like I 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:47.240 get it, Everyone does it, so it's like we're going 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:48.800 to do it, But at the same time, it's like, 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:51.080 why why do the men get to keep your last name? Also, 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:52.880 my last name is like not that cool, so and 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.520 I think back in Montreal and Quebec. At one point 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.800 you had to change the women had to change their 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:01.120 last name to their husband, but they had to pay 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:04.240 for it. Yeah, now it's not you don't have to 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:06.000 do it anymore, but at one point you had to 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:08.839 pay for it, so you would become Vanessa Wolf. I 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:10.480 don't I have never really thought about it. It It sounds 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:14.800 pretty cool. Yeah, Vanessa Grimaldi is pretty right. There's not 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.600 a lot of Grimaldi's out there because it's super unique. 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.839 Nuele's unique. But like in a weird way. I always say, 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:22.520 it sounds like you're kind of gagging when you say, 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.400 like right, and I have two brothers and so like 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:27.520 they could let the family name live on. Also, I 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.280 don't really give a funk about my family name, Like 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:30.839 why do we care? Like I was going to ask 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:32.720 you that it's kind of egotistical of us. Still almost 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:34.600 be like I want my family's name to live on. 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.920 Is it egotistical or is it pride? Yeah, Like there 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:39.800 is a little bit of me that wants to keep 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:41.760 the Haven name just because it's my family name, and 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.840 it's my dad's name and my grandfather's name. And I 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.280 know that might be egotistical, but it's also kind of like, 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:50.679 is it egotistical to say I'm a proud American? I 0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:53.360 don't know. There's a balance right where you want to 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:55.760 be a nationalist and say you're like, hey, I'm a 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:59.320 proud Canadian, um, but there's that other side to say, well, 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:02.000 we're not better than anybody, but I'm also very proud 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.720 to of who where I come from. Are you a 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.240 proud American? Uh? Yeah, I'm definitely proud American. I mean, listen, 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:09.600 not to say there's a lot of stains in this 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.360 country that are currently happened and obviously with our history 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:16.120 where we have uh screwed up many many times. But 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:18.439 you know, so I have a lot of different countries 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:20.520 in a lot of different I like to say, I'm 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:22.959 I'm happy to be an American, but I'm not necessarily 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:26.240 proud of it, you know what I mean. I don't know. 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:28.679 It's especially when you travel so much, like you say 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.559 you're from, you say, well that you people always prick 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.160 up like, oh U s a like I love us 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:35.359 a blah blah blah. But it's just like the connotations 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:37.760 of stains all that kind of stuff. There's a lot's 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:44.240 a lot about history here Are you proud to be white? Uh? Yes, yeah, 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:47.520 Because I also there's we're living in a society right 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:50.720 now where I feel like you have to shift on 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:54.679 being white. Like I feel like, like anything I do 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:56.920 in my life, if I'm successful, I feel like I 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:59.600 have to make like put in contexts, be like I 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:03.120 know I'm privileged, I know I'm white, Like I'm sorry, Um, 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:04.440 like I have to. I feel like I have to 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:06.719 say that before I can be proud of anything I do. 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:09.280 Um to be like, hey, I'm proud I did this. 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.360 I know I'm privileged. I know I had to, you know, 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:13.880 I know, grow up white. Um. So there's a part 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.000 of me that wants to be like yes, But at 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:20.080 the same time, like that's okay. You know, it's okay 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:21.439 to be white. It's cool to be white, it's cool 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:24.720 to be black, it's cool to be Asian, it's cool 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.400 to be a lot of different ethnicities, you know, everyth 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:28.959 But it's whatever you are, you should be proud of 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.280 it kind of thing. I think. So, you know, because 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.840 I think especially in this culture right now, the political 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:36.199 culture that we live in. Not to make this a 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:40.960 political podcast, but I think there's a lot I don't 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:42.559 want to talk about the podcast We Can I love 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.199 that about politics. Yeah, I'd love to talk to you 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:46.439 about this off air, because I have a lot of 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.840 opinions about any Yeah, I heard you and Josh really 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:54.960 get into politics. Yeah, but I think maybe the some 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:57.000 of the reason why we are in the state we 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.120 are within this country is because there's a lot of 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:03.040 people who feel I'm not saying this is right or wrong, 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:07.080 but they feel like they're walking on glass a little 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:11.839 bit um and that's obviously very I don't know, I 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.040 don't want especially in the landscape that where now it's 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:17.880 like everyone gets offended by everything that we people say 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:20.000 and do you know what I mean? And like with that, 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:21.480 I think that's what you're saying, like everyone's walking on 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:22.920 eight shows because it's like, oh, I don't want to 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.320 say one thing that could possibly rub someone's feathers the 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:26.959 wrong way. Yeah, even now, like I don't want to 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:28.960 express my opinions, even though I don't think my opinion 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:31.240 is really that radical or wrong, but I'm just nervous 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:34.200 about somebody offending someone and then they, you know, email 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:35.880 the show and be like, oh my god, I can't 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:39.559 believe you said that, and it's like, you know, there 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.320 are times where I missed the old days of like 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:44.200 if you didn't like somebody's opinion, just don't listen to 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:45.920 what they have to say. That car channel. Do you 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:49.800 think any of that carries into dating? Uh? Oh, yeah, 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:52.240 of course, But you didn't hear that was that? Do 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:54.439 we think that any of the landscape that like we're 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:56.480 faced with in twenty nineteen carries into that How it's 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:59.080 like changed and shaped the dating culture that we're in? Now, 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:03.199 what do you mean, like, I think for better? Yeah, 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:07.400 specifically with the equality between men and women. You don't 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.920 think me example, So I want to hear your I mean, 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:14.240 obviously the ideas of men and women have changed pretty 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:16.200 significantly over the past few years. I feel like open 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:19.000 mindedness is is a lot more of a preached thing nowadays, 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:21.240 which is great. Um. I guess I don't have a 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.200 specific example to give you, but I'm just saying, like, 0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:25.120 just the way that things have changed, where it's like, 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:27.720 you know, we have all these movements, and it's great 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.120 to have these movements because it's great to like bring 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:32.680 um exposure to these topics and these issues that we're 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:37.360 dealing with, but also it's like sometimes you have to like, 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:39.560 now you have to consider more things as you're going 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:41.120 out to date more people, right, Like you have to 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:43.920 be more considerate and cautious. And do you feel like 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.320 as a man you're more cautious in the in the 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:50.840 way that you approach a female. Uh, that's a good question. Yeah, 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:55.400 I hear. So there's a comedian, um who has a joke. 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:59.480 I don't know if I'm out saying this, but a 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.560 comedian who as a joke saying he basically says how 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:04.880 since the me Too movement, he will never get on 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.360 top of a girl whenever he goes into bed with her. 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:10.400 He does he wants to be the submissive one, and 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.520 he will never go on top of her. Conveniently, for me, 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.400 my favorite position is on bottom, so it's like I'm 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.600 always going to be on the bottom anyways, um Tore, 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:22.480 you said that when Dean said, has the landscape changed 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:24.960 in the dating world? Has that better or worse? And 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:26.960 I said, I think it's better because of a lot 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:28.640 of different reasons, and you were shaking your head, No, 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:32.840 what why is that? I just think that guys have 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.520 taken more of a passive role on it now that 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.720 they're like I can't figure out what this girl wants 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:40.040 or what's right or wrong that now I'm just going 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:43.440 to completely back off. And but then why can't that 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:44.880 be on the girl to then step forward and take 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:46.760 a more aggressive role. But I think we have. But 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.160 I think that now it's like enabled the whole dating 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.360 realm where it's like, I mean I get bumbled, was like, no, 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:52.680 I'm going to be the girl. I'm going to reach 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:54.720 out to you. But I think that now it's like 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:57.400 we go to a bar, and I think it's just 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.080 caused like isolation almost besides it being like flu with 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:04.160 it's more of like guys don't do it, so I'm angry, 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:06.840 or it's now the girls are doing it and it's 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:08.320 only going to be on my terms. And I think 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:09.760 that there just could be more, it could be more 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.160 fluid of I think guys are now I'm just gonna 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.520 sit back and get d M or you know what 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:17.600 I mean. I think it's the technology realm tomb has now. 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:22.440 I think technology just screwating well now because as a 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.080 guy or a girl, if you see a cute person 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:25.960 at the bar, you no longer need to go up 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.000 to him at the bar. You can easily just go home, 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:30.400 find them on Instagram and send them at Is that 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.280 so Josh ended up when we were in Tahoe. He 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.720 got a message from someone because they realized that we 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:38.120 were together off of my Instagram account. And I'm like, 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:42.600 it's just crazy how people can know so much information 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.640 about you. I want to bring it back. Sorry one second, 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:48.840 just to what Tor just said and why I'm frustrated 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:52.600 to buy that. It sounds like to me, I've heard 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:56.640 this before pretty often, especially when it comes to girls. 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:02.320 They want they want things that are convenient for them, 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:04.520 in the sense that they want the men to pay 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.520 for dinner, but then they all necessarily I'm just saying 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:11.639 that they want the general that's the generalized statement. Okay, sure, 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:14.720 but a girl would want a guy to pay for dinner, 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:20.160 but then also like not have to, like she wants 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:21.800 she wants the guy to step up when it's convenient 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:23.119 for her, like don't hold the door open for me, 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:24.879 I'm a modern woman. That's fine, but also pay for 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:26.359 my dinner, you know, like that that type of stuff. 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:28.080 It can be so frustrating to hear because it's like, 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:30.520 if you want it, if you want it, at any 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:32.200 given point, then you have to have it that way 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:35.520 for the forever sort of thing. Well, I get I 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:37.600 get your point. I get your point. It's like, well, 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:39.360 have it like the new way or the old way, 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.160 like there's no one between, because then like the guy 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:43.760 is always going to lose out. Is that what? That's 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:46.320 what you're trying to say. I think my point of 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:49.160 if there's all these dating apps in my head, it's like, okay, 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:51.240 well it's so much easier now for a guy to 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:52.840 like reach out to me, or for a guy to 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.200 be a little bit more committed because there's all these 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:58.760 different opportunities for them to get to that place. You know, 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:00.480 why can't you reach out to the guy? Oh? I 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:01.960 do all the time. Well not now that I'm in 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:05.359 a relationship obviously, but I a lot of If you 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:07.119 line up all the guys that I dated, most of 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:11.639 them was because I went after them. To Dean's point, 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:13.960 Bill Birds, that's a really funny joke where women see 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.639 men's life as a buffet where they go through and 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.439 like I'll take pay for dinner, I'll take some of that, 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:21.840 pay for the movies. Uh, screw that, you can keep 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:24.800 that um And she's yeah, it's like I like this, 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:26.640 I don't like that. I like this, I don't like that, 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:28.560 and it's kind of messed up. But that's that really 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:30.439 is the way that it is sometimes with people. Well, 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:32.560 we had someone on the podcast talking to us about 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:37.439 how dating now is like um, fast food dating or 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.600 something like if you're if you want to make sure 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:43.280 you're in like a good and healthy relationship, Well, if 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:44.760 you're going to go to the grocery store, make sure 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:46.760 that you're going to pick the best apple out of 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:48.320 the bunch and not like the one that has the 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:51.720