WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: "Ranch Heaven" Mail Bag 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:01.480 Cut booms. 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:05.400 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:09.160 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:12.480 of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:15.520 treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:17.480 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:18.360 Wow. 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:22.320 The Clearinghouse of hot takes break free for something special. 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:29.360 The Fifth Hour with Ben Miller starts right now. 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:36.320 In the a eyway. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:41.640 and Danny Oge's Saint Patty's Day. I guess if what's 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:44.200 my Irish name? What would my Irish name be here 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:45.400 to celebrate Saint. 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:48.400 Patt Ben o'miller o'miller. 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:50.920 There you go, Ben o'miller. Boom done. 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:54.200 Now, screw you, Ben o'miller. 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:57.920 Many podcasters, Danny would say, it's a big holiday, there's 0:00:57.920 --> 0:01:00.279 no need to do a podcast on Saint Patrick Day. 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:02.800 Why would you bother doing that? Who's going to be 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:06.800 listening to a podcast? People are drinking green beer today, 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:10.240 That's what They're not here for your little stupid podcast. 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:16.000 But no, I have faith in the podcast army that 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:18.840 they will download. They're listening to this right now, Danny. 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:21.920 They're part of this. They're part of this experience while 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:27.080 they're completely sauced on green beer and all the Irish food, 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:29.399 the corn beef and cabbage and all that. 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:33.080 This makes me think of and you'll relate all the 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:36.480 bad live broadcasts we did in our twenties in the 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:41.240 early thirties for Saint Patti's Day at bars. 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:44.280 Oh yeah, that was an easy remote to sell. Yeah. 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:49.440 I did many a show from bars around Los Angeles. Hey, 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:51.800 come out, you have a half priced beer. You know, 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:53.240 Saint Patty's Day. 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:57.840 Yeah, our whole staff is here. Of course they were, 0:01:57.880 --> 0:02:01.520 because everybody's getting sloshed exactly, exactly. 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:05.360 One of my favorite memories though, of Saint Patty's Day 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.920 was in Vero Beach when I was doing stuff with 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:10.760 the Dodgers, and it was like a big thing on 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.800 Saint Patty's Day. They would wear green hats for Saint 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:15.920 Patty's Day. The Dodgers have they would be green. In 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:19.480 those days, they didn't that was like really unorthodox, right, 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.760 But the owner of the team, the O'Malley family, they 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:25.080 liked a thing or two about Saint Patty's Day, and 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:27.200 so they would wear these green hats. And I remember 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:29.840 how important it was they pulled out the green hats. 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:32.799 Now these teams all do these crazy things with uniforms 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:35.280 and all that. The other thing I was thinking about, Danny, 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:38.760 this being Saint Patty's Day, It is also National Corn, 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:40.800 Beef and Cabbage Day, which kind of makes sense. But 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.520 there's other holidays today, Like, if you were to have 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:46.680 a holiday, why the hell would you make it on 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.359 the same day of Saint Patty's. It makes no sense. 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.800 Why would you do that. That's a bad job, right, 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:56.359 I mean, come on, it's Campfire Girls Day. 0:02:57.280 --> 0:02:58.200 Yeah, that's not real. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:01.480 I know what is that? 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:05.079 Somebody made it up and I don't even know why. 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:07.320 It's on that national holiday calendar. 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:13.000 Yeah, Doctor Patient Trust Day, Yeah, that's also made up. Yeah, 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:17.480 nobody trust their doctor. And evacuation Day in Boston. So 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.400 that's the base Staters how to get out of it. 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:23.440 There might be another great flood of the molasses flood 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:27.600 in Boston, right, that might might be the case you 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.000 gotta get out of anyway, There other holidays. But it's 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:33.080 mail bag time, Danny. Let's not Dealey Daly, Let's not 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:38.160 waste any time. The great unwashed have jammed the inbox 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:41.200 with tons and tons of questions. We'll do as many 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.600 as we have time for. So let's hit that button 0:03:43.680 --> 0:04:01.440 right there. It's all right, thank you, Ohioow. First one 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:06.400 is from Dale, who knows who's known as Dave. Oh wait, no, 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:09.200 excuse me, I said, no, it's Dave, who's known as 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:12.520 Dave in San Francisco. See he's having some fun with 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:14.280 Dick and Date. Dave. 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:15.880 Dave, Dave is Dale. 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:18.880 No, no, no, no, I thought. I looked at the name 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:20.600 quickly and I thought it was Dale. But it's Dave, 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:21.960 not Dale, It's Dave. 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:25.160 Oh gotcha. Okay, all right, my name is Dave, but. 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.680 It's Dave who's known as Dave, which shows you that 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.800 Dave in San Francisco is a big time fan of 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:33.839 the show. Because that's a quote of Dick and Dayton, 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.039 who famously, when he tells the story, he says, yeah, 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:38.680 my friend Dave and he's known as Dave, and it's 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:43.200 just great. Dick and Dayton is an American treaser. He is, 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.440 so he says, hey, banon, Danny. I went to the 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:49.120 Facebook link you posted the other day for the Google 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:51.960 doc to vote for the Bennies, but it was for 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:55.560 twenty twenty two. I could not find the one for 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:58.599 this year. He's a screenshot of the post which is 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:03.200 still up the last two years. I was able to 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.680 vote using a link you provided on Facebook, as I 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:10.520 am not on Twitter or x anyway, I would have 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:12.840 voted for Jed as the Caller of the Year. With 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:17.160 my vote, he would have won. I'm left feeling like 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:22.640 the election was stolen, Dave says. I'm not sure what happened, Dave, 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:27.320 but you're the only person, the only one that has 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:30.800 had this complaint. I did not get one other person 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:34.599 contacting me who had a similar complaint. But I do 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:38.039 agree the election was stolen. It was stolen from Blair 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:39.880 and Maine. Blair and Maine should have been the one 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.960 that won. He did not shame on shame on him. 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:47.919 The voting thing. Yeah, I don't know what that was about. 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:50.360 I mean, maybe you clicked something old. But I posted 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:54.560 the link. It did say twenty twenty three. It's weird 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:57.080 how Koop does it because it's the twenty twenty four Benny's, 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:59.640 but we're celebrating twenty twenty three, so he listed the 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:03.480 twenty three, so it confuses some people. But it wasn't 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:04.320 twenty twenty two. 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:06.920 I think he's got to do the twenty three dash 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.200 twenty four right, like the football season. 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:13.839 Yeah, football, basketball, hockey, they go over two years. The 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:17.279 only squat doesn't is baseball, right, that's it. They just 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:20.400 do the summer and one year. And that's all so exactly. 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:25.520 But thank you, Dave, who's known as Dave in San Francisco. Yeah, 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:26.400 I appreciate that. 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:26.919 You know what. 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:28.320 I got to get back to, and I have to 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:32.159 go to the northern California in April. I have a 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:35.680 wedding I have to go to. And one of my 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:39.240 favorite restaurants, it was in La it's no longer there. 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:42.599 They closed during COVID. The Stinking rose I love the 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:43.720 Stinking rose On. 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:45.400 Oh yeah, everything garlic. 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:49.240 Oh it's great. There's only one left. It's in San Francisco, 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:52.240 so I'm gonna have to get there. I'll just leave 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.200 the windows down so the people won't break the windows 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:57.040 when they break into my car. So that'll be good. 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:01.800 Mike in Fullerton writes in he says, Happy Sat Patty's Day, fellas, 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.600 I hope you're wearing something green in honor of this 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:07.279 great holiday. Could you say something nice about Ireland's three 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:12.520 greatest exports, Lucky Charms, Cereal, Irish spring soap, and ferg Dog, 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:17.200 says Mike. Also, have either of you been to Knot's 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:21.200 Boison Berry Festival. It's a great way to spend spring break, 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:24.480 baby g he's old enough now to have a pie, 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:29.320 right question? Mark? Have you been to the Boison Berry 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:31.920 Festival there at notts Berry Farm, Danny the traditional? 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:34.160 Oh, I have not, but I have good memories of 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:37.000 that park. My grandmother loved it. She would take us 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:39.760 to the Fried Chicken restaurant right in front of the park. 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:41.800 I think it's still there. I haven't been. 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:45.760 Yeah, it's there, but it's different now because they've made 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.280 it to where you can also stand there at the 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.320 booth window and take it to go. People walk into 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:53.960 the park like fat asses, like they're out of County 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:58.200 Fair where it used to be sit down only. Oh okay, 0:07:58.520 --> 0:07:59.720 so it's slightly different. 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:00.840 Yeah. 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.520 Man, We would get that fried chicken and mashed potatoes 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.640 and then waddle into the park with way too many 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:07.720 carbs in our belly. 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:10.680 Yeah. I spent more time at Disneyland, but I did 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.480 go to Knots. You know, growing up in southern California, 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:18.559 Orange County, I was right near both so the jam 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.160 I'm the jam at Knots. 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.680 My grandma would always bring some raspberry jam home. 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:30.000 And they mass produced those little cookies, those like jam cookies. 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:30.720 You know what I'm talking about. 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.120 Oh yeah, those are delicious. They're in stores. 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:34.560 I don't know. I don't think it's everywhere, just in 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:38.880 southern California. But Mike, to answer your other question, my 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:44.480 grandfather loved Irish Spring soap so much. When my grandpa 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.160 passed away, we had to obviously go through all of 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:50.439 this stuff and get rid of everything. He had cases 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:54.640 of Irish spring like a lifetime supply. Obviously it was 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.960 more than a lifetime supply because my grandpa's died and 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:00.439 we had all this soap and we took it, and 0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:03.959 I think we still have some left. It hasn't degraded. 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:07.959 It's just we don't use it that often. Every once 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:10.679 in a while, pull out the Irish ring soap. And 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:13.040 I know, Danny, you were like every other kid with 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:15.800 lucky charms. You just pull out all the marshmallows in 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:17.880 the lucky charms that we all did. 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:19.800 I love those marshmallows. 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:22.760 Yeah, just making we would make millions if we just 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:26.240 made a cereal that was just marshmallows. Just that's it. Nothing, 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:29.320 nothing else, just the marshmallow. That's the best part. J 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:32.160 Bone from Portland main Wright. Since is there any chance 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.720 we can get our old friend or a burn though 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:39.640 on the podcast for a life update? Miss him and 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:42.000 hope he is living his best life. The wheels on 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.360 the bus go round and round. The wheels on the 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:48.120 bus go round end round. Yes, Jaybone, I have thought 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:50.559 about contacting Rebur. He'll text me every once in a 0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:52.960 while to bust my balls about the Clippers. What is 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:58.640 still wrong with the Clippers? So yeah, and I do 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:01.679 have some events coming up. I have to travel, so 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:05.679 that'll affect the podcast. So we might do some evergreen 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:10.319 conversations and Roberto could be my baseball guy. What we're 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:13.400 we're on talk about the baseball season, So I will 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:17.360 definitely try to get him on at some point unless 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:19.280 his appearance. How much do you think he's charging now, 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.079 Danny to do the podcast? What do you think he's 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:21.880 looking to get there? 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.320 Well, he's union now, so you'd have to pay the 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:27.640 union rate. I think that is seventy five dollars and 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:29.600 fifty seven cents per hour. 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:32.080 And he's a bus driver, So we have to finish 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:34.560 by four o'clock, right, isn't that when the bus drivers 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:36.120 days over at four o'clock. 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.520 They say four, but the last bus actually arrives at 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:39.280 five point fifteen. 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:44.880 Well it's traffic, you know, it's truck. Stan in Portland 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:48.320 writes in He says, hey, Ben and Danny, congrats on 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:51.760 the trade that you guys have completed of Iowa Sam 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:55.920 for Lorena. Were there any draft picks involved? Oh? 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.920 Yeah, This reminded me Ben of the great Mike Ditt 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:04.520 How many picks did he use in that massive trade 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:05.199 back in the day. 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.880 Reggie was not Reggie. What was his name? H h 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:12.239 what's the guy's name running back from Texas? 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.080 Yeah, Williams, Ricky will Weed Smoker. 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:17.400 Yeah, yeah, he wore the wedding dress on the cover 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.760 of Sports Illustrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there were tons. Yeah, 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:21.240 was it like? 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.320 That was the That was the big I think that 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:27.959 was the biggest haul in NFL history at that time. 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.320 And it worked out really well. Ricky Williams was a 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:34.200 Hall of Famer for the Saints and just just amazing. 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:38.480 Yeah, that's what we got for Lorena. 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:42.720 But Iowa Sam we did allow Covino and Rich get 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.800 you guys get to share the air frier from Iowa Sam. 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:47.920 The Fried Daddy hooked us up with an air fier, 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:51.400 so you get to you get to enjoy the air 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.559 frier that Iowa Sam got, which was supposed to go 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.959 to Roberto. But Roberto left before he could get the 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:57.920 air frier. He quit. 0:11:58.320 --> 0:11:59.719 You know what I get though, that you're going to 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:03.320 miss out on now. I get Iowa Sam dog updates. 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:05.959 I love to see pictures of his dog. He tells 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:08.880 me little updates about his pet. And you're going to 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:10.240 miss out on that from now on. 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:15.280 I am. I'm devastated, actually perf hearf. I'm also devastated 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.880 about him pestering me about the commercials. I'm devastated by that. Also. 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:19.800 I don't know how I'm gonna overcome that. I'll try 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:20.440 to overcome it. 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:24.640 Uh, you'd have two more Discovery Ben you only have 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:27.520 ninety minutes, ninety minutes to fit two of them in. 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:29.360 I know, I know, I gotta get those. I gotta 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.040 did you do it? I didn't hear it. You didn't 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:35.559 do it. I didn't hear it. At one point, Iowa 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:37.480 Sam was bugging me so much that he just started. 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:40.280 Every time I do a commercial, Hey, Iowa, Sam, I'm 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:42.840 doing name just to make sure you. 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:46.880 In your airpiece. Ben. I know you're in the middle 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:48.600 of a monologue, but I need to discover from you. 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:53.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. Alf basking in the glow 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:57.040 from a recent Alf appearance on Impractical Jokers. Right, So 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:01.479 he says, have you ever played a prank on a coworker? 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:04.800 And he says early nomination for Drop of the Year 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:07.880 by Strip Club John, pointing out that FSR Tech Queen 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:14.679 Lorena has whole potential because of her stick figure stripper tattoo. Yeah, Lorraina. 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:18.120 This week, she's been training. Still she takes over next 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.720 or this past week, but next week starting to know, well, 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:24.560 not tonight, Io was Sam's in tonight and then Monday 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:26.640 into Tuesday. I think Lorraina is on her own there. 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:29.600 But she revealed this guy's strip club John, the guy 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:34.200 from Cleveland that runs the ballet. He was quizzing Lorena 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.840 and she was very open as she got quite the personality. 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:41.040 She revealed that she does have a stick figure stripper 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.080 tattoo on one of her ankles. 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.360 So, yeah, I've seen it. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.520 We learned that from him. As far as far as 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:53.480 the prank, yeah, I mean we don't. I don't do 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:56.440 that much anymore. Back in the old days, there was 0:13:56.480 --> 0:14:02.600 a thing where if somebody left their social media count open, Yeah, 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:04.600 we would have a field day with that. 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:07.520 Oh yeah, we'd always say I'm listening to the best 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:10.800 host who's ever been on Baltsmort's radio. 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.960 His name is Ben Mallor. Then they would look at 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:17.400 it and be like, all that Ben Maller got into 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:18.160 my account. 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:22.640 Yeah. There were many a hosts that were very sloppy 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.040 when they were leaving and would leave their social media 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:29.000 open on the computers. And hey, the rule is it's 0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:32.440 fair game if you're too lazy to close out your windows. 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:35.280 And there's some very interesting windows that have been open 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:37.640 over the years that people have left that they really 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:39.840 should not have left open. But if you leave it open, 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:43.200 you know they listen. You know, stuff happens. Stuff happens, Dan, 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:45.360 What are you going to do? Stuff happens? That was 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:49.720 the big, big practical joke. Any other big pranks that 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:52.360 we've you've pulled off or I'm trying to remember something, 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:52.960 And there's. 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:54.840 Been a lot of I got in trouble with one 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.320 of my April Fools ones. Yeah what, Yeah, I think 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:01.080 I told you how I had admitted to the audience 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:04.760 that I got my ex pregnant and we had like 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.360 a little roundtable discussion about it on my morning show 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:10.000 at the time. And I guess I was a very 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:13.720 effective actor, ben because the staff bought it. My general 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:16.920 manager walked over to the studio when our show ended 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:21.520 and gave me a hug. It was it was for 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:25.000 April Fools, and I felt so bad because all these 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:29.120 dozens and dozens of listeners called in and spilled their 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.640 guts to me about how they went through something similar. 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:34.320 And the whole time I'm taking these calls, I'm thinking, 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:35.920 how am I going to break it to all these 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:38.560 people that I was bullshitting on this just for a joke. 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.600 The next day I did the April Fools, I got 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:45.160 looks of death from everybody that I worked with. 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:47.240 Backfire. 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:51.080 Yeah, you know, stuff seemed like a good idea to 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:54.680 time I had in the old days, before the introweb. 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.840 I'm sound like a dinosaur, But with the ap newswire 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.560 and I had access to it, I copy it sometimes 0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:03.800 and then put it in an email. I'd copy the 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.760 ap News wire, cut and paste it into an email 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:09.960 and send it to people and change the names, like 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:11.720 if there was a trade, like there was an AP 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:16.440 News bulletin Ah. And I was able to convince people 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:18.920 of wild trades. And a couple of years ago, I 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:22.440 felt somebody sent me a woge. It was just kind 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.920 of fun. Actually no wog, but it was a fake 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:29.360 woge where you could create fake tweets of wog. Oh okay, yeah, 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:31.920 And so I did that and I made some outrageous 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:33.600 trades and send it to I don't think I sent 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.200 it to you, but some of my friends who are 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:37.840 Laker fans about just like crazy ridiculous trades. 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:41.360 You sparked a great Dodger memory. You're going to love this. 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:45.680 Clay Travis used to talk shit about Dodger Stadium because 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.800 when he came out here to visit, he had a 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:50.280 Dodger dog because he had heard so much about them. 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:54.120 And he got on the air the next day and said, eh, 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:56.240 I give it a two out of ten. It was 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.640 way overrated, not good at all. For a couple of 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:03.400 weeks he talked all this shit about Dodger dogs. Get 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:06.240 to April and I got a hold of our boss, Scott, 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:07.879 and I said, Scott, you got to help me with this. 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:11.879 I pretended like Farmer John's was a new sponsor on 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:17.280 the network, and Scott sent me an email copied Clay 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:21.280 and gave a copy that I sent to Scott. I 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:25.320 typed this fake Farmer's john copy about how Dodger dogs 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:26.240 are the best thing in. 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:27.560 The world and all this stuff. 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:30.919 Clay read it live on his show, thinking it was 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:37.320 a sponsor. Then when he got to the part of 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.560 the copy they're the best hot dogs in all of baseball, 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:44.080 he didn't know what to do. I interrupted him, which, 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.760 as you know, is a big no no, especially during sponsors, 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:49.320 And I said, I thought you'd been saying you don't 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:51.679 like Dodger dogs. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:52.560 I love them. 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:54.560 That's outstanding. 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:01.040 I'm in the middle of the read. 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:03.080 I'm like, well, I know what I've said about the 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:04.720 Dodger dog, but if they're going to pay us a 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:07.879 lot of money, then I will sell out. I'll dw 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:11.520 sell out if you pay me enough money. All right, 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.520 I've been straightforward about this. If you pay me enough money, 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:17.760 I will one billion percent say your productive is good. 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:19.120 Even if I hate it and. 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.199 If you have an issue with that, man, have an 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:25.120 issue with capitalism, all right, Like I don't. I don't 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:27.960 get to just come on and just say what products 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:31.600 I like. I advertise whatever people are willing to spend 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:34.359 money with on the show. That's how the business works. 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:38.160 So uh Like, I was like, well, I guess I'm 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.960 gonna say the Dodger dogs are great now. So the 0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:43.080 I out because it was I was supposed to say 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:44.400 I love Dodger dogs. 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:44.880 So listen. 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.560 So I interrupt Clay during his reed, which is a no, no, 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:50.800 you know, and it remind him that he talked trash 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:52.760 about the Dodger dog on Friday. So we go to 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.200 commercial break and during the commercial, Clay he's like, why 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:55.880 would you do that? 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:58.199 You know, we got in trouble before when you know, 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:01.160 we made fun of a sponsor. And so I'm like, yeah, yeah, 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.200 I know, I know. Okay, yeah, sorry, I won't do that. 0:19:03.440 --> 0:19:06.200 So we come back and right before the ice Cube song, 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.480 I play the clip of Clay dogging the Dodger dog 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:11.280 on Friday, and Clay was furious. 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.720 He's like, what just played? 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.199 Did you not hear what I just said to you? 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:18.440 We could lose over one hundred thousand dollars. And then 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:21.880 and then Roberto says, your mic is hot, you're live 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:23.040 on me here. 0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:25.000 And I was just gonna flip it and start talking 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:27.159 about Kristavs Worzingos like nothing had happened. 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:29.440 Oh that was beautiful. 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:35.080 By the way, in that commercial copy, Clay read everyone 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:38.719 knows about the Irish brothers Francis and Bernard Clohorty's expertise 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:39.440 with a knife. 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:41.880 I have no idea they started out with a few 0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:50.760 pork bellies. I buy into that. I agree with Clay. 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.560 The old day, if you can get a grilled Dodger dog, 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:54.760 they don't do that. 0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:58.560 Anymore, though they're they're they're they boil them right now, righting. 0:19:58.680 --> 0:20:01.879 Yes, Yeah, there this guy Walt who was the chef 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:04.280 in the press box at Dodger Stadium, and he would 0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:06.919 grill him up and make him well done. And they 0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:11.879 were wonderful. But the Finway Frank is the better dog. 0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:17.400 And the Cleveland hot dog they're no the Cleveland Indians. 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:18.920 I was at some Indians games back in the day. 0:20:18.920 --> 0:20:21.680 They don't exist anywhere. They're dead. The wolters kill them. 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:23.919 But they had really good hot dogs in Cleveland, but 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:28.000 the Boston Finway, the Monster Dog at Finway is the 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:31.080 number one hot dog. And every once in a while 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:32.919 somebody one of our listeners in Boston will send me 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:34.679 a screenshot. They'll be at a Red Sox game. I 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:35.919