Speaker 1: Cut booms.
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 2: of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of hot takes break free for something special.
Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Miller starts right now.
Speaker 1: In the a eyway. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
Speaker 1: and Danny Oge's Saint Patty's Day. I guess if what's
Speaker 1: my Irish name? What would my Irish name be here
Speaker 1: to celebrate Saint.
Speaker 3: Patt Ben o'miller o'miller.
Speaker 1: There you go, Ben o'miller. Boom done.
Speaker 3: Now, screw you, Ben o'miller.
Speaker 1: Many podcasters, Danny would say, it's a big holiday, there's
Speaker 1: no need to do a podcast on Saint Patrick Day.
Speaker 1: Why would you bother doing that? Who's going to be
Speaker 1: listening to a podcast? People are drinking green beer today,
Speaker 1: That's what They're not here for your little stupid podcast.
Speaker 1: But no, I have faith in the podcast army that
Speaker 1: they will download. They're listening to this right now, Danny.
Speaker 1: They're part of this. They're part of this experience while
Speaker 1: they're completely sauced on green beer and all the Irish food,
Speaker 1: the corn beef and cabbage and all that.
Speaker 4: This makes me think of and you'll relate all the
Speaker 4: bad live broadcasts we did in our twenties in the
Speaker 4: early thirties for Saint Patti's Day at bars.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was an easy remote to sell. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I did many a show from bars around Los Angeles. Hey,
Speaker 1: come out, you have a half priced beer. You know,
Speaker 1: Saint Patty's Day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, our whole staff is here. Of course they were,
Speaker 3: because everybody's getting sloshed exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite memories though, of Saint Patty's Day
Speaker 1: was in Vero Beach when I was doing stuff with
Speaker 1: the Dodgers, and it was like a big thing on
Speaker 1: Saint Patty's Day. They would wear green hats for Saint
Speaker 1: Patty's Day. The Dodgers have they would be green. In
Speaker 1: those days, they didn't that was like really unorthodox, right,
Speaker 1: But the owner of the team, the O'Malley family, they
Speaker 1: liked a thing or two about Saint Patty's Day, and
Speaker 1: so they would wear these green hats. And I remember
Speaker 1: how important it was they pulled out the green hats.
Speaker 1: Now these teams all do these crazy things with uniforms
Speaker 1: and all that. The other thing I was thinking about, Danny,
Speaker 1: this being Saint Patty's Day, It is also National Corn,
Speaker 1: Beef and Cabbage Day, which kind of makes sense. But
Speaker 1: there's other holidays today, Like, if you were to have
Speaker 1: a holiday, why the hell would you make it on
Speaker 1: the same day of Saint Patty's. It makes no sense.
Speaker 1: Why would you do that. That's a bad job, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, it's Campfire Girls Day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not real.
Speaker 1: I know what is that?
Speaker 4: Somebody made it up and I don't even know why.
Speaker 4: It's on that national holiday calendar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Doctor Patient Trust Day, Yeah, that's also made up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: nobody trust their doctor. And evacuation Day in Boston. So
Speaker 1: that's the base Staters how to get out of it.
Speaker 1: There might be another great flood of the molasses flood
Speaker 1: in Boston, right, that might might be the case you
Speaker 1: gotta get out of anyway, There other holidays. But it's
Speaker 1: mail bag time, Danny. Let's not Dealey Daly, Let's not
Speaker 1: waste any time. The great unwashed have jammed the inbox
Speaker 1: with tons and tons of questions. We'll do as many
Speaker 1: as we have time for. So let's hit that button
Speaker 1: right there. It's all right, thank you, Ohioow. First one
Speaker 1: is from Dale, who knows who's known as Dave. Oh wait, no,
Speaker 1: excuse me, I said, no, it's Dave, who's known as
Speaker 1: Dave in San Francisco. See he's having some fun with
Speaker 1: Dick and Date. Dave.
Speaker 3: Dave, Dave is Dale.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I thought. I looked at the name
Speaker 1: quickly and I thought it was Dale. But it's Dave,
Speaker 1: not Dale, It's Dave.
Speaker 3: Oh gotcha. Okay, all right, my name is Dave, but.
Speaker 1: It's Dave who's known as Dave, which shows you that
Speaker 1: Dave in San Francisco is a big time fan of
Speaker 1: the show. Because that's a quote of Dick and Dayton,
Speaker 1: who famously, when he tells the story, he says, yeah,
Speaker 1: my friend Dave and he's known as Dave, and it's
Speaker 1: just great. Dick and Dayton is an American treaser. He is,
Speaker 1: so he says, hey, banon, Danny. I went to the
Speaker 1: Facebook link you posted the other day for the Google
Speaker 1: doc to vote for the Bennies, but it was for
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. I could not find the one for
Speaker 1: this year. He's a screenshot of the post which is
Speaker 1: still up the last two years. I was able to
Speaker 1: vote using a link you provided on Facebook, as I
Speaker 1: am not on Twitter or x anyway, I would have
Speaker 1: voted for Jed as the Caller of the Year. With
Speaker 1: my vote, he would have won. I'm left feeling like
Speaker 1: the election was stolen, Dave says. I'm not sure what happened, Dave,
Speaker 1: but you're the only person, the only one that has
Speaker 1: had this complaint. I did not get one other person
Speaker 1: contacting me who had a similar complaint. But I do
Speaker 1: agree the election was stolen. It was stolen from Blair
Speaker 1: and Maine. Blair and Maine should have been the one
Speaker 1: that won. He did not shame on shame on him.
Speaker 1: The voting thing. Yeah, I don't know what that was about.
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe you clicked something old. But I posted
Speaker 1: the link. It did say twenty twenty three. It's weird
Speaker 1: how Koop does it because it's the twenty twenty four Benny's,
Speaker 1: but we're celebrating twenty twenty three, so he listed the
Speaker 1: twenty three, so it confuses some people. But it wasn't
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two.
Speaker 4: I think he's got to do the twenty three dash
Speaker 4: twenty four right, like the football season.
Speaker 1: Yeah, football, basketball, hockey, they go over two years. The
Speaker 1: only squat doesn't is baseball, right, that's it. They just
Speaker 1: do the summer and one year. And that's all so exactly.
Speaker 1: But thank you, Dave, who's known as Dave in San Francisco. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 1: I got to get back to, and I have to
Speaker 1: go to the northern California in April. I have a
Speaker 1: wedding I have to go to. And one of my
Speaker 1: favorite restaurants, it was in La it's no longer there.
Speaker 1: They closed during COVID. The Stinking rose I love the
Speaker 1: Stinking rose On.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, everything garlic.
Speaker 1: Oh it's great. There's only one left. It's in San Francisco,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna have to get there. I'll just leave
Speaker 1: the windows down so the people won't break the windows
Speaker 1: when they break into my car. So that'll be good.
Speaker 1: Mike in Fullerton writes in he says, Happy Sat Patty's Day, fellas,
Speaker 1: I hope you're wearing something green in honor of this
Speaker 1: great holiday. Could you say something nice about Ireland's three
Speaker 1: greatest exports, Lucky Charms, Cereal, Irish spring soap, and ferg Dog,
Speaker 1: says Mike. Also, have either of you been to Knot's
Speaker 1: Boison Berry Festival. It's a great way to spend spring break,
Speaker 1: baby g he's old enough now to have a pie,
Speaker 1: right question? Mark? Have you been to the Boison Berry
Speaker 1: Festival there at notts Berry Farm, Danny the traditional?
Speaker 4: Oh, I have not, but I have good memories of
Speaker 4: that park. My grandmother loved it. She would take us
Speaker 4: to the Fried Chicken restaurant right in front of the park.
Speaker 1: I think it's still there. I haven't been.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's there, but it's different now because they've made
Speaker 4: it to where you can also stand there at the
Speaker 4: booth window and take it to go. People walk into
Speaker 4: the park like fat asses, like they're out of County
Speaker 4: Fair where it used to be sit down only. Oh okay,
Speaker 4: so it's slightly different.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Man, We would get that fried chicken and mashed potatoes
Speaker 4: and then waddle into the park with way too many
Speaker 4: carbs in our belly.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I spent more time at Disneyland, but I did
Speaker 1: go to Knots. You know, growing up in southern California,
Speaker 1: Orange County, I was right near both so the jam
Speaker 1: I'm the jam at Knots.
Speaker 3: My grandma would always bring some raspberry jam home.
Speaker 1: And they mass produced those little cookies, those like jam cookies.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, those are delicious. They're in stores.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think it's everywhere, just in
Speaker 1: southern California. But Mike, to answer your other question, my
Speaker 1: grandfather loved Irish Spring soap so much. When my grandpa
Speaker 1: passed away, we had to obviously go through all of
Speaker 1: this stuff and get rid of everything. He had cases
Speaker 1: of Irish spring like a lifetime supply. Obviously it was
Speaker 1: more than a lifetime supply because my grandpa's died and
Speaker 1: we had all this soap and we took it, and
Speaker 1: I think we still have some left. It hasn't degraded.
Speaker 1: It's just we don't use it that often. Every once
Speaker 1: in a while, pull out the Irish ring soap. And
Speaker 1: I know, Danny, you were like every other kid with
Speaker 1: lucky charms. You just pull out all the marshmallows in
Speaker 1: the lucky charms that we all did.
Speaker 3: I love those marshmallows.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just making we would make millions if we just
Speaker 1: made a cereal that was just marshmallows. Just that's it. Nothing,
Speaker 1: nothing else, just the marshmallow. That's the best part. J
Speaker 1: Bone from Portland main Wright. Since is there any chance
Speaker 1: we can get our old friend or a burn though
Speaker 1: on the podcast for a life update? Miss him and
Speaker 1: hope he is living his best life. The wheels on
Speaker 1: the bus go round and round. The wheels on the
Speaker 1: bus go round end round. Yes, Jaybone, I have thought
Speaker 1: about contacting Rebur. He'll text me every once in a
Speaker 1: while to bust my balls about the Clippers. What is
Speaker 1: still wrong with the Clippers? So yeah, and I do
Speaker 1: have some events coming up. I have to travel, so
Speaker 1: that'll affect the podcast. So we might do some evergreen
Speaker 1: conversations and Roberto could be my baseball guy. What we're
Speaker 1: we're on talk about the baseball season, So I will
Speaker 1: definitely try to get him on at some point unless
Speaker 1: his appearance. How much do you think he's charging now,
Speaker 1: Danny to do the podcast? What do you think he's
Speaker 1: looking to get there?
Speaker 4: Well, he's union now, so you'd have to pay the
Speaker 4: union rate. I think that is seventy five dollars and
Speaker 4: fifty seven cents per hour.
Speaker 1: And he's a bus driver, So we have to finish
Speaker 1: by four o'clock, right, isn't that when the bus drivers
Speaker 1: days over at four o'clock.
Speaker 4: They say four, but the last bus actually arrives at
Speaker 4: five point fifteen.
Speaker 1: Well it's traffic, you know, it's truck. Stan in Portland
Speaker 1: writes in He says, hey, Ben and Danny, congrats on
Speaker 1: the trade that you guys have completed of Iowa Sam
Speaker 1: for Lorena. Were there any draft picks involved? Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, This reminded me Ben of the great Mike Ditt
Speaker 4: How many picks did he use in that massive trade
Speaker 4: back in the day.
Speaker 1: Reggie was not Reggie. What was his name? H h
Speaker 1: what's the guy's name running back from Texas?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Williams, Ricky will Weed Smoker.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he wore the wedding dress on the cover
Speaker 1: of Sports Illustrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there were tons. Yeah,
Speaker 1: was it like?
Speaker 4: That was the That was the big I think that
Speaker 4: was the biggest haul in NFL history at that time.
Speaker 1: And it worked out really well. Ricky Williams was a
Speaker 1: Hall of Famer for the Saints and just just amazing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what we got for Lorena.
Speaker 1: But Iowa Sam we did allow Covino and Rich get
Speaker 1: you guys get to share the air frier from Iowa Sam.
Speaker 1: The Fried Daddy hooked us up with an air fier,
Speaker 1: so you get to you get to enjoy the air
Speaker 1: frier that Iowa Sam got, which was supposed to go
Speaker 1: to Roberto. But Roberto left before he could get the
Speaker 1: air frier. He quit.
Speaker 4: You know what I get though, that you're going to
Speaker 4: miss out on now. I get Iowa Sam dog updates.
Speaker 4: I love to see pictures of his dog. He tells
Speaker 4: me little updates about his pet. And you're going to
Speaker 4: miss out on that from now on.
Speaker 1: I am. I'm devastated, actually perf hearf. I'm also devastated
Speaker 1: about him pestering me about the commercials. I'm devastated by that. Also.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I'm gonna overcome that. I'll try
Speaker 1: to overcome it.
Speaker 3: Uh, you'd have two more Discovery Ben you only have
Speaker 3: ninety minutes, ninety minutes to fit two of them in.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I gotta get those. I gotta
Speaker 1: did you do it? I didn't hear it. You didn't
Speaker 1: do it. I didn't hear it. At one point, Iowa
Speaker 1: Sam was bugging me so much that he just started.
Speaker 1: Every time I do a commercial, Hey, Iowa, Sam, I'm
Speaker 1: doing name just to make sure you.
Speaker 3: In your airpiece. Ben. I know you're in the middle
Speaker 3: of a monologue, but I need to discover from you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. Alf basking in the glow
Speaker 1: from a recent Alf appearance on Impractical Jokers. Right, So
Speaker 1: he says, have you ever played a prank on a coworker?
Speaker 1: And he says early nomination for Drop of the Year
Speaker 1: by Strip Club John, pointing out that FSR Tech Queen
Speaker 1: Lorena has whole potential because of her stick figure stripper tattoo. Yeah, Lorraina.
Speaker 1: This week, she's been training. Still she takes over next
Speaker 1: or this past week, but next week starting to know, well,
Speaker 1: not tonight, Io was Sam's in tonight and then Monday
Speaker 1: into Tuesday. I think Lorraina is on her own there.
Speaker 1: But she revealed this guy's strip club John, the guy
Speaker 1: from Cleveland that runs the ballet. He was quizzing Lorena
Speaker 1: and she was very open as she got quite the personality.
Speaker 1: She revealed that she does have a stick figure stripper
Speaker 1: tattoo on one of her ankles.
Speaker 3: So, yeah, I've seen it.
Speaker 1: We learned that from him. As far as far as
Speaker 1: the prank, yeah, I mean we don't. I don't do
Speaker 1: that much anymore. Back in the old days, there was
Speaker 1: a thing where if somebody left their social media count open, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we would have a field day with that.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, we'd always say I'm listening to the best
Speaker 4: host who's ever been on Baltsmort's radio.
Speaker 3: His name is Ben Mallor. Then they would look at
Speaker 3: it and be like, all that Ben Maller got into
Speaker 3: my account.
Speaker 1: Yeah. There were many a hosts that were very sloppy
Speaker 1: when they were leaving and would leave their social media
Speaker 1: open on the computers. And hey, the rule is it's
Speaker 1: fair game if you're too lazy to close out your windows.
Speaker 1: And there's some very interesting windows that have been open
Speaker 1: over the years that people have left that they really
Speaker 1: should not have left open. But if you leave it open,
Speaker 1: you know they listen. You know, stuff happens. Stuff happens, Dan,
Speaker 1: What are you going to do? Stuff happens? That was
Speaker 1: the big, big practical joke. Any other big pranks that
Speaker 1: we've you've pulled off or I'm trying to remember something,
Speaker 1: And there's.
Speaker 4: Been a lot of I got in trouble with one
Speaker 4: of my April Fools ones. Yeah what, Yeah, I think
Speaker 4: I told you how I had admitted to the audience
Speaker 4: that I got my ex pregnant and we had like
Speaker 4: a little roundtable discussion about it on my morning show
Speaker 4: at the time. And I guess I was a very
Speaker 4: effective actor, ben because the staff bought it. My general
Speaker 4: manager walked over to the studio when our show ended
Speaker 4: and gave me a hug. It was it was for
Speaker 4: April Fools, and I felt so bad because all these
Speaker 4: dozens and dozens of listeners called in and spilled their
Speaker 4: guts to me about how they went through something similar.
Speaker 4: And the whole time I'm taking these calls, I'm thinking,
Speaker 4: how am I going to break it to all these
Speaker 4: people that I was bullshitting on this just for a joke.
Speaker 4: The next day I did the April Fools, I got
Speaker 4: looks of death from everybody that I worked with.
Speaker 3: Backfire.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, stuff seemed like a good idea to
Speaker 1: time I had in the old days, before the introweb.
Speaker 1: I'm sound like a dinosaur, But with the ap newswire
Speaker 1: and I had access to it, I copy it sometimes
Speaker 1: and then put it in an email. I'd copy the
Speaker 1: ap News wire, cut and paste it into an email
Speaker 1: and send it to people and change the names, like
Speaker 1: if there was a trade, like there was an AP
Speaker 1: News bulletin Ah. And I was able to convince people
Speaker 1: of wild trades. And a couple of years ago, I
Speaker 1: felt somebody sent me a woge. It was just kind
Speaker 1: of fun. Actually no wog, but it was a fake
Speaker 1: woge where you could create fake tweets of wog. Oh okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: And so I did that and I made some outrageous
Speaker 1: trades and send it to I don't think I sent
Speaker 1: it to you, but some of my friends who are
Speaker 1: Laker fans about just like crazy ridiculous trades.
Speaker 4: You sparked a great Dodger memory. You're going to love this.
Speaker 3: Clay Travis used to talk shit about Dodger Stadium because
Speaker 3: when he came out here to visit, he had a
Speaker 3: Dodger dog because he had heard so much about them.
Speaker 4: And he got on the air the next day and said, eh,
Speaker 4: I give it a two out of ten. It was
Speaker 4: way overrated, not good at all. For a couple of
Speaker 4: weeks he talked all this shit about Dodger dogs. Get
Speaker 4: to April and I got a hold of our boss, Scott,
Speaker 4: and I said, Scott, you got to help me with this.
Speaker 4: I pretended like Farmer John's was a new sponsor on
Speaker 4: the network, and Scott sent me an email copied Clay
Speaker 4: and gave a copy that I sent to Scott. I
Speaker 4: typed this fake Farmer's john copy about how Dodger dogs
Speaker 4: are the best thing in.
Speaker 3: The world and all this stuff.
Speaker 4: Clay read it live on his show, thinking it was
Speaker 4: a sponsor. Then when he got to the part of
Speaker 4: the copy they're the best hot dogs in all of baseball,
Speaker 4: he didn't know what to do. I interrupted him, which,
Speaker 4: as you know, is a big no no, especially during sponsors,
Speaker 4: And I said, I thought you'd been saying you don't
Speaker 4: like Dodger dogs. And he's like, oh, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: I love them.
Speaker 1: That's outstanding.
Speaker 3: I'm in the middle of the read.
Speaker 5: I'm like, well, I know what I've said about the
Speaker 5: Dodger dog, but if they're going to pay us a
Speaker 5: lot of money, then I will sell out. I'll dw
Speaker 5: sell out if you pay me enough money. All right,
Speaker 5: I've been straightforward about this. If you pay me enough money,
Speaker 5: I will one billion percent say your productive is good.
Speaker 1: Even if I hate it and.
Speaker 5: If you have an issue with that, man, have an
Speaker 5: issue with capitalism, all right, Like I don't. I don't
Speaker 5: get to just come on and just say what products
Speaker 5: I like. I advertise whatever people are willing to spend
Speaker 5: money with on the show. That's how the business works.
Speaker 5: So uh Like, I was like, well, I guess I'm
Speaker 5: gonna say the Dodger dogs are great now. So the
Speaker 5: I out because it was I was supposed to say
Speaker 5: I love Dodger dogs.
Speaker 1: So listen.
Speaker 4: So I interrupt Clay during his reed, which is a no, no,
Speaker 4: you know, and it remind him that he talked trash
Speaker 4: about the Dodger dog on Friday. So we go to
Speaker 4: commercial break and during the commercial, Clay he's like, why
Speaker 4: would you do that?
Speaker 3: You know, we got in trouble before when you know,
Speaker 3: we made fun of a sponsor. And so I'm like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I know, I know. Okay, yeah, sorry, I won't do that.
Speaker 4: So we come back and right before the ice Cube song,
Speaker 4: I play the clip of Clay dogging the Dodger dog
Speaker 4: on Friday, and Clay was furious.
Speaker 3: He's like, what just played?
Speaker 1: Did you not hear what I just said to you?
Speaker 3: We could lose over one hundred thousand dollars. And then
Speaker 3: and then Roberto says, your mic is hot, you're live
Speaker 3: on me here.
Speaker 5: And I was just gonna flip it and start talking
Speaker 5: about Kristavs Worzingos like nothing had happened.
Speaker 3: Oh that was beautiful.
Speaker 4: By the way, in that commercial copy, Clay read everyone
Speaker 4: knows about the Irish brothers Francis and Bernard Clohorty's expertise
Speaker 4: with a knife.
Speaker 6: I have no idea they started out with a few
Speaker 6: pork bellies. I buy into that. I agree with Clay.
Speaker 1: The old day, if you can get a grilled Dodger dog,
Speaker 1: they don't do that.
Speaker 3: Anymore, though they're they're they're they boil them right now, righting.
Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, there this guy Walt who was the chef
Speaker 1: in the press box at Dodger Stadium, and he would
Speaker 1: grill him up and make him well done. And they
Speaker 1: were wonderful. But the Finway Frank is the better dog.
Speaker 1: And the Cleveland hot dog they're no the Cleveland Indians.
Speaker 1: I was at some Indians games back in the day.
Speaker 1: They don't exist anywhere. They're dead. The wolters kill them.
Speaker 1: But they had really good hot dogs in Cleveland, but
Speaker 1: the Boston Finway, the Monster Dog at Finway is the
Speaker 1: number one hot dog. And every once in a while
Speaker 1: somebody one of our listeners in Boston will send me
Speaker 1: a screenshot. They'll be at a Red Sox game. I
Speaker 1: got to the monster dog, you know.
Speaker 3: Oh dude, that listener that sent them to us.
Speaker 1: The guy from Cambridge was great. He was Every year
Speaker 1: we get his big box of Finway Franks and monster dogs.
Speaker 1: It was wonderful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he packed them in that special ice. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 4: and yeah we put them right into our freezer. You're right, man,
Speaker 4: those were the best ballpark hot dogs I've ever had.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they really really good. So anyway, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Al Matt from Parts Unknown rights and he says, Ben
Speaker 1: and Danny, he says, for you, Ben, what did ranch
Speaker 1: dressing do to you? It is God's condiment. And I'll
Speaker 1: never understand how someone could hate the creamy deliciousness of
Speaker 1: the most wonderful dipping sauce. No man kind. Amen, Well,
Speaker 1: you're part of the ranch people trying to brainwash society.
Speaker 1: First of all, ranch dressing is disgusting, right. It is
Speaker 1: milk that is halfway rotten, halfway rotten. Milk. It is,
Speaker 1: as I have called it, the devil's blood wrong, and
Speaker 1: it has been. It's been shoved down people's throats since
Speaker 1: the I think late eighties. Since nineteen ninety two, ranch
Speaker 1: dressing has been the most popular salad dressing, which tells
Speaker 1: you how bad the taste buds are of your average American.
Speaker 1: It's horrific. Now, I'm no fan of blue cheese because
Speaker 1: blue cheese is a cousin of the devil's blood. But
Speaker 1: at least I'm told there's a little bit better flavor.
Speaker 3: It's like a more it is not a better flavor.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, I want no part of ranch dressing. It's disgusting.
Speaker 1: It's gooey goop and it should be thrown out is
Speaker 1: what it should be done. And the fact that people
Speaker 1: mass consume it, it says more about you than me.
Speaker 1: You're on the wrong side of history, Matt, You and
Speaker 1: your look ranch dressing cult. Okay, so I want to
Speaker 1: hear about it. And you've made a deal with the devil, Okay.
Speaker 1: You are drinking the devil's blood, is what you're doing.
Speaker 1: So you have to live with that. Good luck.
Speaker 4: Well, definition of a cult is a small minority of
Speaker 4: people that that's you. So you're actually in the cult
Speaker 4: for a hating ranch.
Speaker 1: You've been in doctrinate. You've been brainwashed, Danny. We need
Speaker 1: to deprogram you. We have to deprogram you. We must
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 3: You can dip just about every delicious food into ranch.
Speaker 1: Well, you can dip into any sauce. That doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it's good, No true. How about horse rat if anything, a.
Speaker 3: Piece of pizza into horse radish?
Speaker 1: No, but you could. I'd rather do it than that.
Speaker 1: How about that.
Speaker 4: I'd rather pepperoni and olive pizza dip that into a
Speaker 4: wonderful ranch.
Speaker 3: There's nothing better.
Speaker 1: There's nothing better.
Speaker 3: What you what kind of what kind of terrible better?
Speaker 1: You heathen?
Speaker 3: Think about a really good chicken finger? You dip that
Speaker 3: in a really good ranch? Heaven?
Speaker 1: No, honey mustard is what you dip it in? He
Speaker 1: a barbecue sauce. A barbecue sauce that's second and third
Speaker 1: to ranch. Man, that is blasphemy what you were saying
Speaker 1: right now, This podcast is going to be blacklisted because
Speaker 1: of you. Okay, racist, You're a slimeball with it, all right?
Speaker 1: Moving on a mass whole mickey, all right, sin, he says, guys,
Speaker 1: what's one alcohol that you used to drink but cannot
Speaker 1: have any more from drinking too much of it or
Speaker 1: got in air quotes sick and cannot even smell anymore
Speaker 1: without getting nauseous. That's from mass whole Mickey in Massachusetts.
Speaker 1: He says, as soon as I crack open a bottle
Speaker 1: of Southern Comfort, I'll be like this, And he's got
Speaker 1: the bar like sick emoji there it would appear. He
Speaker 1: also told the story here Danny. He said he wanted
Speaker 1: to know if we've ever woken up during a medical procedure.
Speaker 1: Says last week he had a colonoscopy and an endo
Speaker 1: oscopy and woke up while they were performing the colonoscopy
Speaker 1: procedure and the doctor, the doctors and nurses said it's okay,
Speaker 1: we're almost done, and then he fell back asleep. But
Speaker 1: he said, in reality, they just gave me more of
Speaker 1: the sleeping gas.
Speaker 7: And that's pretty terrible. That's like, yeah, that's why I
Speaker 7: have a horror movie, right, And that's that's you know
Speaker 7: who wants that? I mean, that's the chainsaw massacre. You're
Speaker 7: getting cut open and h wow.
Speaker 1: That's I never drank that much, so probably the wrong
Speaker 1: person to answer that any any alcoholic beverage back in
Speaker 1: the day, Danny, that you just can't have anymore because
Speaker 1: you're too old and it'll screw.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah. I went to a concert in
Speaker 3: my twenties and my friend and I drank Jaeger Meister
Speaker 3: mixed with Red Bull the whole time. Em to this day,
Speaker 3: even if I smell Jaeger Meister, it makes me sick
Speaker 3: to my stomach.
Speaker 1: Get that gag reflex going a little bit.
Speaker 4: Well, if you know Jaeger it comes in that green
Speaker 4: bottle and it kind of has the smell and a
Speaker 4: little bit of the taste of liquorice. Yes, yeah, imagine
Speaker 4: overdosing on liquorice. That's that is what it's like, except
Speaker 4: this licorice makes you puke.
Speaker 1: A little much, Yeah, a little much, But thank you, masshole. Masshole.
Speaker 1: Mickey's one of the last guys listening that is a
Speaker 1: newspaper delivery guy. He delivers newspapers from around Boston to
Speaker 1: the different grocery stores. And at one point when I
Speaker 1: started doing overnights, we had i'd say sixty seventy percent
Speaker 1: of the audience was newspaper delivery people. But now not
Speaker 1: so much. Hardly any deliver the newspaper. That's one thing
Speaker 1: that has changed a lot, Harry in how.
Speaker 3: They delivered Amazon.
Speaker 1: Yes, right, yeah, Harry and West Palm Beach. Right. So
Speaker 1: he says, guys, thanks for doing the pod. He says,
Speaker 1: you're with me. I do my errands here on Sunday morning.
Speaker 1: I listen to you, guys, don't most people do errands
Speaker 1: on Saturday, by the way, not Sunday. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I don't know. Anyway, it says Bernie
Speaker 1: Sanders wants to change from a five day work week
Speaker 1: to a four day work week without lowering pay. As
Speaker 1: Ben likes to say. It says, you guys do this
Speaker 1: podcast eight days a week. Would you guys support a
Speaker 1: four day a week work week. Well that's a very
Speaker 1: odd question, Harry to ask the Fifth Hour podcast, But
Speaker 1: thank you for asking it.
Speaker 3: I was going to say that would not work for
Speaker 3: us at all.
Speaker 1: No, and with all I say with all due respect,
Speaker 1: which is equivalent of saying the word but because when
Speaker 1: you say it with all due respect, whatever you're about
Speaker 1: to say is completely going to destroy the person you're
Speaker 1: going to talk about. But there is no way on
Speaker 1: God's green earth that you're going to be able to
Speaker 1: keep salaries the way they are, not lower pay. If
Speaker 1: people are working four days a week. That's not the
Speaker 1: way life works. Okay, I'm an adult, I'm a grown up.
Speaker 1: I know how it works. And you can say it's
Speaker 1: not right and all that chastise it. But if you
Speaker 1: work less, you're going to get paid less. That's the
Speaker 1: way that it goes. And I'm against this because I
Speaker 1: feel like, right now, it's five days, and most people
Speaker 1: don't even work five days. I've worked with people that
Speaker 1: almost never work five days. So if you go to
Speaker 1: four days, people are going to then work three days.
Speaker 1: So yeah, in our business, you've got to be there.
Speaker 1: Radio is all about audio content. You have to be there.
Speaker 1: You have to be part of people's routines or else
Speaker 1: out of sight, out of mind, right, Danny, we all
Speaker 1: learned back in the day. Freddie from New Hampshire writes
Speaker 1: in Beauty New Hampshire Awesome. I'd never been to New
Speaker 1: Hampshire before last year when I went on my Northeastern
Speaker 1: sojourn and just really impressed with New Hamper although it
Speaker 1: was a tourist town, so ye know, it's a state.
Speaker 1: But the town we went to was a tourist town anyway,
Speaker 1: right off I ninety five there, Freddie says, Fellas, now,
Speaker 1: with Iowa Sam leaving your show, you're adding another body
Speaker 1: to your list as the Pummeler of producers. That's right,
Speaker 1: one of my nicknames, the Pummeler of producers. And Freddie says,
Speaker 1: can you name all of the board ops you've had
Speaker 1: since you worked at a box?
Speaker 3: That would be impossible.
Speaker 1: I actually cannot. I can name the regular people. I
Speaker 1: let's see here, let's see if I can. Jake Warner
Speaker 1: worked with me twice. Jerry was my engineer in the
Speaker 1: early days before you were there.
Speaker 3: Profit dude, Yeah, but this is producers, not just engineers.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, produce a combination of the two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, forget about it. The board ops Jake Jerry.
Speaker 3: Yeah, who was the profit dude, Profit dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Probably. He was the one where we the building got
Speaker 1: shot at while we were on the air, and he
Speaker 1: just decided to close the blind so at least they
Speaker 1: didn't know where they were aiming.
Speaker 3: That was a good and whenever he messed up, he
Speaker 3: blamed it on the computer, yes, which the program was
Speaker 3: called profit so he just said profit, dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And at one point I love Jerry, but we
Speaker 1: determined that Jerry was just a spinning chair because he
Speaker 1: had this thing where he could not just sit in
Speaker 1: one place. You know, He's always had to walk around.
Speaker 1: And part of the job when you have that job
Speaker 1: is you got to kind of be anchored. You can't
Speaker 1: really run around. You got to be there. And I'd
Speaker 1: look over back sometimes. I guess I can say this
Speaker 1: the statue of himations. But sometimes somebody would curse on
Speaker 1: the air, and those days, the only one that could
Speaker 1: dump it was the boardop. So somebody would say something
Speaker 1: bad on the air, I'd look over to Jerry, you
Speaker 1: know the sign. I'd give him the sign. He wasn't there.
Speaker 1: It was his chair spinning around. I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: well I got on the air. Uh. We had Julio
Speaker 1: who was with me for a number of years in
Speaker 1: the early days. Julio.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he had that late night Jay Leno TV show
Speaker 4: on local cable.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, I love Julio and he he was there.
Speaker 3: Then I'd like you to be a guest on my
Speaker 3: late night.
Speaker 1: Ship, that's right. And he had the he had the
Speaker 1: oh is it man? I'm telling you. Uh oh, the
Speaker 1: Cougars were in the Cougar's commercial played. He was part
Speaker 1: of the show. Then we had Jeff Durey. I don't
Speaker 1: think you know, do you know Jeff? Probably I know Jeff,
Speaker 1: You do not Jeff. Okay, Jeff was there from Boston.
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened to him. Martinez Artie, who
Speaker 1: you've met.
Speaker 3: Of course, he closes down your parties at your house.
Speaker 1: Of course you're on the list. Roberto, and then we
Speaker 1: have the Queen that's I don't know. And there's been
Speaker 1: a there have been a few other ones that were
Speaker 1: only there for a short period of time. As far
Speaker 1: as the producers, my god, we have Felix, we got
Speaker 1: the well, oh, I forgot the amazing Vladimir I feel
Speaker 1: I forgot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, amazing. He's in Miami these days.
Speaker 1: I love lave lad I wish he was not that.
Speaker 1: I don't like any of the people I worked glad.
Speaker 1: I just loved the vibe. He was a generate. He
Speaker 1: was a what's the word I'm looking for, gambling, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and he always knew whether he went or not based
Speaker 1: on his mood, which is a real degenerate gambler, real
Speaker 1: degenerated gambler. So yeah, so that was kind of that's
Speaker 1: some of the names the producers. Felix Coop's been with
Speaker 1: me a while. You obviously on that list. Trying to
Speaker 1: think Burgie, Oh yeah, wrong, Button, Bob, Miranda, Marino, Bob Gara.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So been a lot of names that have
Speaker 1: passed through. That's usually what happens when you stay somewhere
Speaker 1: for a while. There's people.
Speaker 3: Miranda left your show and popped out like three kids.
Speaker 1: I know, she became all grown up. She was, you know,
Speaker 1: single girl at a boyfriend and now she's been married
Speaker 1: for years and a bunch of kids. It's also how
Speaker 1: life works. I think it's a circle of life. I
Speaker 1: believe that's just how like the normal ebb and flow
Speaker 1: of life generally speaking. We'll get out on that note, Danny,
Speaker 1: it's Saint Patti's day. You gonna go out bar hopping today.
Speaker 1: I have to be on my best behavior because the
Speaker 1: show tonights.
Speaker 4: Remember the hangover where they put little Carlos in the holder?
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, and they have them the front holder, not
Speaker 4: the backpack holder for the baby, and so that way
Speaker 4: little Carlos can look me in the eyes as I'm
Speaker 4: drinking green beer. I'll make a CoA green bottle so
Speaker 4: he can feel like he's, you know, part of the festivities. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we're gonna party today.
Speaker 1: Party Hardy man. You got a party, Hardy party alright,
Speaker 1: have a wonderful sant Patti's day, enjoy the Irish food
Speaker 1: and everyone's Irish for a day. I'm wearing green right now,
Speaker 1: and we'll talk to you tonight. We'll be on the radio.
Speaker 3: I'm Daniel Gallagher tonight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go. I'll be hanging out with you
Speaker 1: on the radio tonight eleven o'clock in the west, two
Speaker 1: am in the east, early Monday morning, on what will
Speaker 1: be the eighteenth day of the month and baseball season
Speaker 1: starting in a couple of days. We'll catch you then later.
Speaker 3: Skater gotta murder. I gotta go