Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a terminol and gay a. We want to
Speaker 2: send you off InStyle. We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do
Speaker 3: you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Kilgariff, and we're talking.
Speaker 3: To you from the home from home or homes.
Speaker 1: The way I said it was almost like a trick,
Speaker 1: Like I said home, like I'm from Philadelphia? Am I
Speaker 1: in Philadelphia? Now?
Speaker 3: You sounded like a Philadelphia version of missedoubt fire.
Speaker 1: Though there was a boom.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I thought we'd just get in a car together.
Speaker 3: But of course we can't. We have to follow the rules.
Speaker 3: It would be illegal.
Speaker 1: Well we yeah, we should follow the rules. We should
Speaker 1: take it seriously that we don't know what the three
Speaker 1: of us have been up to for the past two weeks.
Speaker 1: So we don't know. We don't know who has it,
Speaker 1: or what's safe or what to take a risk. So
Speaker 1: we just all decided let's just record this from home,
Speaker 1: and who cares, right, Yeah, It's.
Speaker 3: The only way to not worry about it later, because
Speaker 3: I've become someone that worries a lot and I haven't
Speaker 3: left the house. I've been really good about not leaving
Speaker 3: the house. There was four days where I didn't go
Speaker 3: out my front door mm hm, except to take out
Speaker 3: the garbage.
Speaker 1: Which has gotten so exciting. I mean, it's like a
Speaker 1: whole thing. But when I took my garbage out last week,
Speaker 1: it was like I felt like I was choreographing the
Speaker 1: best way to take out the garbage, Like, oh, if
Speaker 1: I pulled this can over here, it'll hold this gate open.
Speaker 1: Finally I've broken you know what I mean, Like I'm
Speaker 1: trying to say it back now. It was so interesting
Speaker 1: when I was doing it, and it is not interesting.
Speaker 3: It is. It is amazing. I find it amazing that
Speaker 3: I'm usually taking out the garbage at night and then
Speaker 3: I run back to my door scared of I guess,
Speaker 3: the garbage monster. I've become a paranoid, scared person.
Speaker 1: Your scared germs are going to chase you and beat
Speaker 1: you up in your yea, your alleyway.
Speaker 3: Fly up my nose, airborne germs.
Speaker 1: Sorry, can we just talk about what we just majestically
Speaker 1: captured on zoom video? Right before we Chris started doing
Speaker 1: the intro to the podcast, he took his baseball hat off,
Speaker 1: and Chris, do you want to talk about what's been
Speaker 1: going on under your hat? Is?
Speaker 3: This is normal growth? This is what happens when I
Speaker 3: ignore I guess it's been It's been two and a
Speaker 3: half months since I had a haircut. It is.
Speaker 1: It looks truly like you are in an eighties kind
Speaker 1: of sex rom com about. It looks like you're the
Speaker 1: missing character from Weird Science. Is basically what it is.
Speaker 3: There was a time where this hair said nothing but comedy,
Speaker 3: and I used to fall back on it in the beginning.
Speaker 3: Did you really comedy?
Speaker 1: Did you do some Eraserhead material?
Speaker 3: I did know my first when I did the contest
Speaker 3: in Austin, I bought four wigs. We've seen this since,
Speaker 3: but I think I was the first. I bought four
Speaker 3: wigs that looked like my hair, and during my six
Speaker 3: minute set, I would just stop and say, you guys,
Speaker 3: I can't lie anymore. I'm not who you think I am.
Speaker 3: And I'd take off the first wig and tell a
Speaker 3: couple jokes and then do it again again. I'm sorry
Speaker 3: that I've been lying to you and each time, and
Speaker 3: then in the end it was my real hair and
Speaker 3: people go crazy to the finals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. They love people. First of all, prop comedy,
Speaker 1: wig comedy specifically is always solid.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. Actually I still think it's funny today.
Speaker 3: I would do it again.
Speaker 1: Why not? They might? I have just one thousand questions
Speaker 1: on how did you get those wigs to stay on
Speaker 1: underneath each other?
Speaker 3: I think it very difficultly, and they didn't stay and
Speaker 3: I'd have to press them down as I pulled my
Speaker 3: hair off. And I'm telling you that just was more
Speaker 3: laughs sure in my favor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And they weren't laughs against it was pro no
Speaker 1: there laughs for nice good yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then but it was it was hard to
Speaker 3: find the wigs. I had to go on a big
Speaker 3: wig hunt.
Speaker 1: What are wig hunts involved?
Speaker 3: Well, the big wig Hunt of two thousand and one
Speaker 3: involved me asking a lot of my theatrical friends in Austin.
Speaker 3: There's a lot there's a big black box theater scene there. Sure,
Speaker 3: and every one of those theaters has at least one
Speaker 3: curly brown wig.
Speaker 1: Sure, so I made from nineteen seventy four.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and alled on the landline and I'd go
Speaker 3: pick them up. And it worked. It worked. Its way
Speaker 3: easier than writing more than five minutes of material.
Speaker 1: You sorry, I just thought of another thing. You look
Speaker 1: like just for the people at home. They're listening, I
Speaker 1: mean listening, but can't see this amazing vision. Well, you
Speaker 1: also look like the logo for the Candy Warheads when
Speaker 1: people's head is just kind of the guy's head is
Speaker 1: just kind of exploding.
Speaker 3: Oh you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: It's so sour that his whole head kind of exploding.
Speaker 1: That's what your hair.
Speaker 3: My hair, Yeah, looks like a nuclear mushroom mushroom cloud.
Speaker 1: You also look like you could be like the saxophone
Speaker 1: player for a kookie band, like a theme.
Speaker 3: Just two more examples before my feelings get hurt.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I'll be working on him over here.
Speaker 3: I know what I look like. I'm doing this to myself.
Speaker 1: You are, You're asking for it, and.
Speaker 3: It's really weird that it it has to get to
Speaker 3: a point. I think it's two and a half inches
Speaker 3: before all of a sudden it gets curly. I don't
Speaker 3: know it's curly. Yeah, it sure is get until I
Speaker 3: grow it out and then it hits that moment.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's Chris. It's hair that people would pay
Speaker 1: tens of thousands of dollars for. Who are needed.
Speaker 3: Hair in the early two thousands, or maybe doll makers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's I'm always talking about doll makers.
Speaker 3: But I can't walk around with this hair. No one
Speaker 3: you should. No one's going to do business with me.
Speaker 1: Well unless you, and I've seen you do versions of
Speaker 1: this when you parted on the side and then you
Speaker 1: really dippity do it down, so there's tons of product
Speaker 1: in it.
Speaker 3: I did a dippity doo last night. I had to
Speaker 3: play mouth in a reading of the Goonies, and he's
Speaker 3: got very fine straight hair, so I just I put
Speaker 3: a lot of product in it, and I just kept
Speaker 3: brushing it.
Speaker 1: Did you do just why it's like that so big
Speaker 1: and gorgeous. Thank you, you're welcome. It looks really nice.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: But did you do like was it like this on
Speaker 1: zoom a reading?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool.
Speaker 3: And then we went. We did another one. We did
Speaker 3: Flatliners last week and that was through Twitch and last
Speaker 3: night was Facebook Live. We're just trying all thees that
Speaker 3: is the future of comedy. We all know my job
Speaker 3: doesn't exist anymore, so we're figuring out ways adapting.
Speaker 1: And it's fine now when you say we are you
Speaker 1: now in a are you in a black box theater
Speaker 1: group like the ones that you tapped?
Speaker 3: So all my manager Jessica at a veil, all of
Speaker 3: her clients, we've just out of not knowing what else
Speaker 3: to do with our time. We've been reading bad scripts and.
Speaker 1: Are people watching like, yes, other people audience members are
Speaker 1: streaming more.
Speaker 3: Than would be sitting in a comedy club.
Speaker 1: Nice. Really, Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3: To where I'm like, maybe I should just be doing
Speaker 3: stand up the thing I have control over. It's funny.
Speaker 3: It's almost comforting though that because I'm not competitive with
Speaker 3: my career, or I say I'm not, but I am
Speaker 3: being I'm being comforted right now by the act that
Speaker 3: everyone David Spade, Jimmy Fallon, everyone is in their kitchen, yes,
Speaker 3: doing the same thing. We're all at the same level
Speaker 3: right now completely, and there's something comforting about that. I
Speaker 3: don't know if it's healthy that that comforts me.
Speaker 1: I mean, I like to take comfort thinking when I
Speaker 1: see like everybody streaming national talk shows, sketch shows, whatever
Speaker 1: from their homes, I think, I bet they smell like onions,
Speaker 1: just like I do, because I swear to you I
Speaker 1: smell on the daily, and I'm not going to change
Speaker 1: it until I know someone's coming around, Because what's the point.
Speaker 3: Everyone everyone smells. We've all stopped touring to here ago. Yep,
Speaker 3: everyone smells terrible, and everyone's eating like a fifteen year
Speaker 3: old on vacation.
Speaker 1: I feel sick, like like when I was fifteen and
Speaker 1: would go on vacation and my mom would buy like sugar,
Speaker 1: cereal and candy and stuff like that. The combination of
Speaker 1: things I've eaten today, one of which was I made
Speaker 1: cookies this morning, which is always bad because then you
Speaker 1: eat cookie dough and the cookies that you make. But I,
Speaker 1: in making these cookies burned two different batches, did twice
Speaker 1: like forgot to set the timer two times and wasted
Speaker 1: literally I guess it would be a dozen cookies on
Speaker 1: just on as I'm watching TV, I'm like, ah shit,
Speaker 1: there's cookies in there, like I cannot cook. I can't
Speaker 1: even do the base.
Speaker 3: And I'm trying. I'm getting the Hello fresh fresh meals
Speaker 3: and I am really following the directions and trying to
Speaker 3: be patient. But you know, I have a camera in
Speaker 3: my hair or my phone in my hand. I have
Speaker 3: to film it. I'm filming everything. I'm like trying to.
Speaker 1: Sing, why you have to film it? What are you
Speaker 1: talking about?
Speaker 3: Content? I gotta have something to validate me sitting here.
Speaker 3: I'm almost on TikTok. I'm trying to figure out what
Speaker 3: TikTok does. I think your lip saying.
Speaker 1: It's for, it's for, it's for fourteen year olds.
Speaker 3: I'm willing to do it. I have a cooking show.
Speaker 3: It's got a decent following. I've been doing workouts where
Speaker 3: I get tangled up in resistance bands. They're comedy videos.
Speaker 3: I'm not just doing the thing, Okay, I'm burning the
Speaker 3: food on purpose. Oh I see the ghost is still
Speaker 3: here because my oven mid I'll preheat the oven and
Speaker 3: it only cooks for ten minutes and then it shuts down.
Speaker 3: Something shuts it down. So that's made cooking harder.
Speaker 1: So what else is going on? What have you been
Speaker 1: watching on TV?
Speaker 3: I just watched what did I watch? I see you
Speaker 3: Helen Hunts in it, and the kid who plays the
Speaker 3: young version of the guy from Ozark and the Australian
Speaker 3: guy who's like the cop and outsider and the bad
Speaker 3: guy Bloodline. He's in Bloodline.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ben Mendelssohn. Yeah, I didn't know he was Australian.
Speaker 3: He's great and uh anyway, the kid that plays him.
Speaker 3: It's this movie that I I feel like I'm like
Speaker 3: Jordan peel where and I watch movies. I don't want
Speaker 3: to make a comedy. I want to make scary movies.
Speaker 3: And it's it's a scary psychological thriller.
Speaker 1: And it was good.
Speaker 3: I loved it. Oh okay, and I watched I've been
Speaker 3: watching a lot of the World's Most Extraordinary Homes.
Speaker 1: Yes, the British it's just the British series.
Speaker 3: Amazing. Yeah, yeah, yes, I'm all the way through it.
Speaker 1: It's the best, right when there's like there's like a
Speaker 1: big cement house in the middle of like the desert
Speaker 1: and then entire walls. Is it that one with the
Speaker 1: guy and girl host or.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah. She is like a comedic actress and
Speaker 3: he's an architect.
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with that show. Oh I love that he
Speaker 1: watching British show. Okay, good Steven, Yes, because that thing
Speaker 1: is satisfying because those two hosts are really charming and
Speaker 1: the one guy's an actual architect, so he knows what
Speaker 1: he's talking about. But then it's like they go and
Speaker 1: actually enjoy the house the way a person would live
Speaker 1: in the house and show you all the Like, I'm
Speaker 1: obsessed with that show.
Speaker 3: I love how she they tell her not to get
Speaker 3: in the bed or what, and she'll sneak off and
Speaker 3: be I'm going to do a little exploring of my own.
Speaker 3: Rn't I naughty? And she takes a bath or gets
Speaker 3: in their bed.
Speaker 1: Yep, she doesn't give a shit. She's like, it's the
Speaker 1: best classic British actress. Also, there's just it's those things.
Speaker 1: Where did you see the one where the two people
Speaker 1: spent I think they spent like twelve years building this
Speaker 1: dream house and it was all made out of like
Speaker 1: rivets from like it was all like this you know,
Speaker 1: industrial No, not in the airplane lady. It was the
Speaker 1: guy that was way more hardcore, almost like he was
Speaker 1: clearly a finance guy and he had this idea in
Speaker 1: his head of the house he wanted and it was
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of like metal stairs in the
Speaker 1: front room and the ceilings were like fifty feet high.
Speaker 1: Remember that one where I was like, you could have
Speaker 1: fed hundreds of thousands of hungry children, you fucking asshole,
Speaker 1: Like just for this shitty house that looks like kind
Speaker 1: of like a warehouse, and you had to have it.
Speaker 3: And one of them is like, we wanted it to
Speaker 3: look like a run down boat house with no windows. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so it looks bad also, and it's in the middle
Speaker 3: of nowhere. It's clearly an ice ore. But then the
Speaker 3: inside they sell you on it because it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, suddenly the inside justifies the outside. Did you say
Speaker 1: the one where it was just a weird circle and
Speaker 1: it looked like it had kind of been abandoned, and
Speaker 1: the whole.
Speaker 3: House was yeah, it's like a donut.
Speaker 1: Yes, And it was just like living here would make
Speaker 1: me so upset, Like you can't. It's just one long,
Speaker 1: curving hallway.
Speaker 3: With in the middle. I guess it's their own round courtyard.
Speaker 1: Right, but like, no, thanks, I don't What do you
Speaker 1: want if you love grabbing? And like every time you
Speaker 1: walk out there, you have to have flip flops on
Speaker 1: because you can't just like walk across to the other
Speaker 1: side because it was like gravel.
Speaker 3: Remember that.
Speaker 1: Or I'm like lots some of them.
Speaker 3: Are addressing the problem, like bugs and scorpions. Like a
Speaker 3: lot of them are open air. It's like this is
Speaker 3: air conditioned by nature. I'm like, yeah, and you're going
Speaker 3: to wake up with a raccoon on your pillow, yeah, Or.
Speaker 1: Like in me when I was making cookies this morning
Speaker 1: and there was a house fly because I leave the
Speaker 1: back door open for the dogs and there's a hat.
Speaker 1: They all the bugs come in through the back door
Speaker 1: I leave open, and then they travel to the front
Speaker 1: to the kitchen and try to get out of the
Speaker 1: front window. And I like three times a day open
Speaker 1: the side went out and have to wave out huge
Speaker 1: like horse fly size flies. It's disgusting.
Speaker 3: And that's like, imagine if that was little critters.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I don't live in the desert. I
Speaker 1: live in urban Los Angeles. Imagine if it was like
Speaker 1: out where whatever could be flying by.
Speaker 3: But you're comforted as you shoe a little animal out.
Speaker 3: You're comforted by the fact that your house is self
Speaker 3: sustainable or something.
Speaker 1: Right, You're like, no, this is this solar hexagon house
Speaker 1: is worth it? As I stare down a rattlesnake in
Speaker 1: my hallway.
Speaker 3: Great idea, exactly. But you can use your air conditioning.
Speaker 3: I'm going to use the wind that wraps around my
Speaker 3: airplane wing.
Speaker 1: Roof and doesn't actually go into my house because that's
Speaker 1: not the way airplanes work.
Speaker 3: It's just my really really weird, expensive way of letting
Speaker 3: you know I'm better than you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Stephen, what's your question?
Speaker 4: Oh? Just is it just them being British? But I
Speaker 4: feel like the two hosts hate each other.
Speaker 3: There are times, there are episodes where they don't interact
Speaker 3: at all. Yeah, you can tell they're having a fight.
Speaker 1: I feel like they're old seventies gay guy and kookie
Speaker 1: actress friends and they're probably really sick of each other,
Speaker 1: like they probably have spent fifty years being friends.
Speaker 4: I just have the energy to me of like the okay,
Speaker 4: like you know, just like it's like there's something very
Speaker 4: tense all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I yet, I've noticed that too. I feel like
Speaker 3: they've been fighting a lot of the time.
Speaker 1: I think architects are intense people because they're crazy smart
Speaker 1: and they're like numbers people in big picture planners. And
Speaker 1: then you've got and you know that actress who is
Speaker 1: a woman after my own heart, probably is smoking pot
Speaker 1: in the rental car on the way to the shoot.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. She makes his job ten
Speaker 1: times harder. He's doing all the heavy lifting and she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm merely the personality here. And then she just goes
Speaker 1: and starts pushing walls to see if they open up, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet you it's that where she's like, I do
Speaker 1: what I want and follow my heart. You hold down
Speaker 1: the major part of the work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, She's always aggressively opening doors and trying to say
Speaker 3: things that are architectural and he's like trying not to
Speaker 3: roll his eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty goddamn entertaining. But then you know,
Speaker 1: I think, but there are it also is like the
Speaker 1: fun of you would I think she is such a
Speaker 1: great Stephen. Do you mind looking up their names so
Speaker 1: we can actually give them credit because you know who
Speaker 1: we're talking about. But I think she brings so much
Speaker 1: to the table because she's acting like every man that
Speaker 1: walks up to a house like that, where it's like what, like,
Speaker 1: you know, when those houses that are like half buried
Speaker 1: in the ground and their roofs or grass or something
Speaker 1: that you just don't get to see every day.
Speaker 3: Like she loved the Grassroots House. I love that house.
Speaker 1: I know, right there was a couple or there was
Speaker 1: that one that was right on the coast and so
Speaker 1: it was super dramatic and all the windows were like
Speaker 1: triple pained because the like wind and storms and everything
Speaker 1: because they were right like on a cliff essentially, remember
Speaker 1: that one where I was like I wanted to go
Speaker 1: there so bad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's so many houses that they are they are
Speaker 3: battling the surroundings on purpose. Yes, they choose. Of course
Speaker 3: it's going to be a dangerous place study of which
Speaker 3: is why it's all bulletproof.
Speaker 4: The The hosts are Carolyn Quinton and Pierce Taylor.
Speaker 3: Piers Peer's Taylor, of course his name is Peers.
Speaker 1: And I see Carolyn Quinton in so many of my
Speaker 1: wonderful British Victorian dramas that I cannot stop watching. I
Speaker 1: watched like.
Speaker 3: Three today acting things for sure for sure. Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a very talented British actress.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to watch more of her work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's let's sell dper. I don't know why that
Speaker 1: suddenly got so oppressive to me all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, I haven't. I've been afraid to even go
Speaker 3: to a laundromat because of course that's where the germs are. Yeah,
Speaker 3: dangerous surfaces everywhere. So my laundry picked up. It was
Speaker 3: three giant bag. It was one hundred and some dollars
Speaker 3: of laundry. Sure.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: And when they brought it back it was just a
Speaker 3: bag of Doiley's and neglige A. And they brought back
Speaker 3: the wrong clothes. I knew that would happen to me.
Speaker 3: I've never and some poor old lady was just like,
Speaker 3: wear are my clothes? She's opening up just a boxes
Speaker 3: of T shirts T shirts. But it got figured out.
Speaker 1: It was very fun, though I used to get really
Speaker 1: embarrassed because I would take my When I lived on
Speaker 1: that side of town, there was a laundrymut You could
Speaker 1: either go in and do it yourself, or you could
Speaker 1: drop it off and they would they would you just
Speaker 1: go pick it up the next day, which I loved,
Speaker 1: except when I started thinking about how gross it is
Speaker 1: that someone has to touch all my laundry, and like
Speaker 1: see my dirty clothes. And then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's kind of depressing. I don't have time to do it,
Speaker 1: and I need to pay someone to do it. But
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you have to do it, is how I feel.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I wanted to wash them a little bit
Speaker 3: before I loaded.
Speaker 1: Them over, just a quick rint so they don't sell
Speaker 1: so oniony.
Speaker 3: When you drop a lot, I yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 3: I sprayed. I for breathe.
Speaker 1: Oh you really did, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just wanted it to smell a little better.
Speaker 3: That's nice.
Speaker 1: I think that's good.
Speaker 3: And they did. They called and said it smelled pretty good. Hey,
Speaker 3: brought it in.
Speaker 1: You made it way less bad than it was last time.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: And then they pick up the tag, thank you missus.
Speaker 1: Quinnlan what your doilies?
Speaker 3: Quinland got her?
Speaker 1: She got her clothes, She got her clothes, she got
Speaker 1: those doilies.
Speaker 3: But it was a bit. It really was a bunch
Speaker 3: of doilies that she had to have dry cleaned.
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, in this in this pandemic, she needs
Speaker 1: to have those at her disposal at all times.
Speaker 3: When it's the last time you drove anywhere, Karen.
Speaker 1: Going to the store that's the only thing I do
Speaker 1: basically is, you know, we used to be sneaking these in.
Speaker 1: Then it was just kind of like, oh, if it's
Speaker 1: peak week or we're kind of this is like the
Speaker 1: peak time where we really need to be flattening the curve.
Speaker 1: We were all deciding like, hey, yeah, let's be those
Speaker 1: Let's be like that in not a different way, not
Speaker 1: like those the Blood of Christ bathing in the Blood
Speaker 1: of Christ people. That's one of my favorite stories that
Speaker 1: just keeps happening over and over in the news. All
Speaker 1: these people come forward and go, government can't tell me
Speaker 1: what to do, barer murmur, and literally like four days
Speaker 1: later they have it, they're in the hospital, then they die.
Speaker 1: It just keeps happening over and over. I don't understand
Speaker 1: the people who think they're fighting something like they're acting
Speaker 1: like they're fighting the government telling them what to do,
Speaker 1: and it's like, it's just people trying to keep you alive.
Speaker 1: That's the only thing it is.
Speaker 3: Well, then that sounds blasphemous. I'm going to church, I've
Speaker 3: been I meant to google images or video of people
Speaker 3: in church on Easter, but I didn't. Did people go
Speaker 3: to church or was that just a threat and no, no, no.
Speaker 1: In some spots, people went to church in some of
Speaker 1: those states where the governors were real like yeah, it's
Speaker 1: no big deal and everybody's overreacting. And those are the
Speaker 1: stories where like the pastor who there's a pastor who
Speaker 1: spoke out about it, like first, you know, like saying,
Speaker 1: this is ridiculous and you can't keep but this is
Speaker 1: religious oppression. He's died of it already. Like this story
Speaker 1: is like it's the great ironic, Like it just keeps
Speaker 1: the same thing keeps playing out in the news, people
Speaker 1: pretending they're rebelling against something and then dying from it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've i feel like I'm being paranoid. It's
Speaker 3: so hard to compare it to anything. But I'm scared.
Speaker 3: When I've been in supermarkets, I'm sweating and I'm nervous.
Speaker 3: So I've been been having groceries delivered here, totally pre
Speaker 3: made boxes of you know, vegetables that I don't know
Speaker 3: what to do with. I've been actually eating healthier. Oh
Speaker 3: that's good, until I did my shopping at Walgreens the
Speaker 3: other day. That's that was a little dip in health.
Speaker 3: A lot of canned but Annie's chili. Yes, but I
Speaker 3: chili for two days in a row, but before that,
Speaker 3: just grilling a lot of vegetables. And that I don't
Speaker 3: even go out to get that anymore. You mean like
Speaker 3: I don't. I haven't been into grocery stores. I'm too
Speaker 3: paranoid about what might fly under my mask because everyone says, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's it's only transferred with spit flying onto your face.
Speaker 3: But who is sure. No one knows.
Speaker 1: I mean, no one knows anything for sure. That adds
Speaker 1: to this scariness. Also, we as a society aren't used
Speaker 1: to wearing masks everywhere, so that the first time I
Speaker 1: had to wear I hadn't. My sister sent me an
Speaker 1: n ninety five mask that she bought like five of
Speaker 1: them when the fires were happening in northern California, so
Speaker 1: she had one left over, and she's like, I'll mail
Speaker 1: it to you. And then I felt all these feelings
Speaker 1: about you have one of the official masks, you should
Speaker 1: drop it off whatever. And but that same day as
Speaker 1: the day I had to take George to go get her.
Speaker 1: I told you George had to have her teeth pulled
Speaker 1: last week in the middle of too.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Okay, And then you just said teeth. I'd
Speaker 3: imagined all of them like a ren and stamped cartoon.
Speaker 1: Well oh no, no, no, sorry, she had all her table
Speaker 1: and now she has a beautiful set of dentures, dog dentures.
Speaker 1: No no, no, oh, can someone please make that image you?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No. I took her to the vet because she kept
Speaker 1: she was doing making a lot of sounds like she
Speaker 1: was trying to talk to me, and she kept laying
Speaker 1: right next to me, and she was drooling all the time,
Speaker 1: and her breath was terrible. And I finally lifted up
Speaker 1: her one of her lips and one of her back
Speaker 1: teeth was like, her gums looked really bad, you know,
Speaker 1: ginger vitasy, And then one of her teeth looked really bad.
Speaker 1: So I took her in and then I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to pull two of her teeth. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, I felt so terrible, but
Speaker 1: that seemed so I had to. And that was when
Speaker 1: it was really scary, and really everyone decided everyone staying indoors, unlock.
Speaker 1: Everyone that understands how medical experts are trying to help us.
Speaker 1: Everyone's staying inside. And then it was like then I
Speaker 1: had to leave, so then there was this whole going
Speaker 1: to the vet. They had this whole procedure of them
Speaker 1: coming outside, like they came to get the dog out
Speaker 1: of the car. I didn't ever go inside, and you
Speaker 1: just kind of sat there and waited and whatever. So
Speaker 1: then at one point I was like, Oh, I better
Speaker 1: I while I'm just sitting here, you know, kind of
Speaker 1: out of town, not like in La Proper, I'll go
Speaker 1: to the grocery store because they'll be less people and
Speaker 1: there's a chance I could find toilet paper and blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. Well, I put on this mask my sister
Speaker 1: gave me, and I'm walking to the grocery store and
Speaker 1: I started having a panic attack because I'd never worn
Speaker 1: a mask like that, and I felt like, oh, I can't.
Speaker 1: Oh this mask is preventing me from getting a full breath.
Speaker 1: And then I realized, no, I'm just scared because this
Speaker 1: is fucked, Like, this is an insane situation where we
Speaker 1: don't know what's happening, but a virus could you could
Speaker 1: catch it just from being in public. Like the enormity
Speaker 1: and the insanity of the whole thing kind of hit me.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, really doing just a ton
Speaker 1: of shallow breathing in the grocery store as I was
Speaker 1: trying to very quickly pick up as many things. Also,
Speaker 1: do you get this? We're like, even if I make
Speaker 1: a list for the grocery store, once I hit the doorway,
Speaker 1: it's like I'm on an insane game show where it's
Speaker 1: like grab everything before you die. So it's like, even
Speaker 1: when I know what I want to get, I just
Speaker 1: start blinking out or going like, oh, I was going
Speaker 1: to make this thing that requires these four ingredients, but
Speaker 1: I'll get two of the ingredients. I'll be like fuck it.
Speaker 1: Just keep going, like just do it to try to
Speaker 1: do it the fastest that I can. And it's insane
Speaker 1: because it's like just take the time and make sure
Speaker 1: you get everything. But like it's I just want to
Speaker 1: bail once I'm inside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there is, but things are flying off, the people
Speaker 3: are grabbing things. There is like a race to grab
Speaker 3: things mm hmm. And and it makes you, like you said,
Speaker 3: there's this underlying fear that we aren't addressing, and so
Speaker 3: everything else is compounded. And have you gotten because you
Speaker 3: have one of the ninety five masks at Judgey Looks
Speaker 3: because it should be in a hospital or something, because
Speaker 3: now they're saying, don't buy the masks they're available.
Speaker 1: I mean, I take that as you judge away, because
Speaker 1: that's probably just people trying to figure out somewhere to
Speaker 1: put their anxiety. So I don't reallyish it. If my
Speaker 1: sister sent me the good mask, I'm keeping the fucking
Speaker 1: good mask. They're trying to keep people from buying ten
Speaker 1: thousand good masks and then being like, I'll charge you
Speaker 1: five hundred percent more than normal. That's really what that's about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the Martins Grellies of the world.
Speaker 1: You mean, the presidents and his son in laws of
Speaker 1: the world. Like that's really for them. What's happening. That's
Speaker 1: what's happening. It's so crazy. The reason there isn't enough
Speaker 1: of that equipment for medical workers is because the president
Speaker 1: himself is keeping it so that they can somehow make
Speaker 1: money off of, like of redistributing it. But the cool
Speaker 1: thing is, did you hear that story about the company
Speaker 1: three M that makes those masks and makes all kinds
Speaker 1: of those products. They've started suing independent distributors who have
Speaker 1: three M products and are marking them up like five
Speaker 1: hundred percent. They're they're putting out lawsuits against those distributors
Speaker 1: for doing that with their products. So, like there's apparently
Speaker 1: there was an independent distributor in New Jersey that had
Speaker 1: a shit ton of three M masks and gloves and
Speaker 1: all the stuff that the medical workers need and he
Speaker 1: was selling it to people for like five hundred percent
Speaker 1: markup and they just immediately sued him. And it's like
Speaker 1: one guy with one company. Yeah, so it's I mean
Speaker 1: if that made me happy, because it's like there are
Speaker 1: companies that have a sense of the like the gravity
Speaker 1: of the situation and of what's right. They're just they're
Speaker 1: not trying to make money off of this. They're trying
Speaker 1: to save people's lives.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, three M. I love your tape, ye exactly.
Speaker 3: I was going to mention the Scotch tape that and
Speaker 3: their Scotch tape. It is the most adhesive.
Speaker 1: And at Christmas you can see right through that shit.
Speaker 1: It doesn't impact your wrapping. Yeah, yeah, thank.
Speaker 3: You, Thriam. I'm sure they make other chemical things that
Speaker 3: kill villages, but who.
Speaker 1: Knows, Hey, we don't know that though.
Speaker 3: We don't know until we know it's going to research it.
Speaker 1: Yep, let's stay blissfully ignorant about the tape and masks
Speaker 1: and everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've just been I've just been wearing bandanas over
Speaker 3: my face. It was so I The other day I
Speaker 3: had that hat you gave me, the Orpheum theater hat
Speaker 3: that looks like so cool. It's like, looks like a
Speaker 3: Compton hat that that easy would wear. And then I
Speaker 3: had a navy blue classic bandana, like just a crip bandana.
Speaker 3: And I just walked nonchalantly into a bank with the
Speaker 3: hat down and I looked in the mirror and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm and everyone around me looked like a bank rock.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: It was so great. And I had to say something
Speaker 3: to the teller like Hi, I'm not a bank robber
Speaker 3: even though, and he's like, oh, look at mine. And
Speaker 3: he pulled up this really sinister black one.
Speaker 1: Like he had it. He pulled it off, but he
Speaker 1: had it right there. Yeah.
Speaker 3: He just showed me his basically sheer ski mask that
Speaker 3: looked even more like a bandido. Those are the.
Speaker 1: Ones I do love that they go all the way
Speaker 1: down your neck and into your shirt and then you
Speaker 1: can pull them up as high as you want. They
Speaker 1: look like kind of socks for your face and neck.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, it's the only it's the closest thing you
Speaker 3: can have to having a beard as a girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's your big chance if you're a girl that's
Speaker 1: always wanted to feel beard, a beard like feeling, get
Speaker 1: a neck mask.
Speaker 3: I'm so close the itchiness. It's so realistic.
Speaker 1: Wait, so you went to the bank during the pandem.
Speaker 3: During rent time, because that's just how I pay my rent.
Speaker 3: I have to deposit it into her account. But it
Speaker 3: was scary to go in there. No one was in
Speaker 3: there though, and they had the six foot lines like
Speaker 3: everyone is doing a pretty good job. I've waited in
Speaker 3: to go into grocery stores like it's a dance club. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it is comforting, but it's also just surreal.
Speaker 1: Did you see the picture that I posted of this
Speaker 1: Shepherd's pie that I made?
Speaker 3: I did pretty good, right. Yeah. Now you don't usually cook,
Speaker 3: right sometimes, No, I have.
Speaker 1: I literally have like three recipes and if anyone wants
Speaker 1: the shepherd's pie recipe, it's super simple. It's a pound
Speaker 1: of hamburger and then you had a little can of
Speaker 1: tomato paste, the small can because tomato paste is very dense.
Speaker 1: It's not tomato sauce, tomato paste, and then you get
Speaker 1: a can of the del Monte French cut seasoned green
Speaker 1: beans and that's going to be most of your seasoning.
Speaker 1: Then you brown that beef, drain off the fat. Then
Speaker 1: when you have the cooked plain beef, you pour in
Speaker 1: the tomato paste and you pour in that can of
Speaker 1: French cut green beans with seasoning, and then that becomes
Speaker 1: Then you mix that around. That becomes the meat with
Speaker 1: the almost like its own gravy and green beans. Throw
Speaker 1: in some if you have like onion salt or celry salt.
Speaker 1: That's good, salted up, real good. Then you make mashed potatoes,
Speaker 1: which is you can look that up. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to walk you through making mashed potatoes. Rats on you.
Speaker 3: I have made mashed potatoes.
Speaker 1: They're very simple and easy. But once you make the
Speaker 1: mashed potato, and also do yourself a favor of putting
Speaker 1: in sour cream and put in tons of butter and
Speaker 1: salt those things up and make them the most delicious
Speaker 1: mashed potatoes you've ever had, because why the fuck not.
Speaker 3: That's something I've learned, Like seasoning and butter are so important,
Speaker 3: they really are. Yeah, I've learned a lot just from
Speaker 3: the handful of these recipes mailed to my door. You
Speaker 3: need the same thing. I didn't even know that. I
Speaker 3: didn't know how important olive oil and seasoning and butter
Speaker 3: was to everything that you make.
Speaker 1: Pretty much everything. Paprika comes in a lot too, which
Speaker 1: is surprising. There's a couple of those seasonings that like spices.
Speaker 3: Now now I know, I know to buy paprika. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: in everything you need it. And I'm starting from scratch.
Speaker 3: I did not know how to cook anything, and I'm
Speaker 3: kind of enjoying it.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's pretty cool, like you might as well.
Speaker 1: What I realized is all of cooking is just rehearsing,
Speaker 1: like trying over and over and over, and it's also
Speaker 1: setting timers and staying in the kitchen. If you have
Speaker 1: something like cooking in a pan, I have a problem
Speaker 1: where I walk away and then it burns. You can't
Speaker 1: walk away.
Speaker 3: That's what I've done my whole life. And it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's why I can't make an omelet or even spaghetti
Speaker 3: or rice. But if I'm standing there and I'm like,
Speaker 3: don't have anything to do for the next forty five minutes,
Speaker 3: but stand in my kitchen.
Speaker 1: It's perfect for forty five days. Yes, there's no where you
Speaker 1: have to be.
Speaker 3: Just for a whole month. Man, this is going to
Speaker 3: be good.
Speaker 1: Lasagna layer five and you just make the tallest lasagna possible.
Speaker 3: I am oh god that actually it's ooh a lasagna tower.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. How many layers could you get going?
Speaker 3: I just visualized a hundred, But it's just the dimensions
Speaker 3: of a piece of lasagna. And then it goes straight
Speaker 3: up to the ceiling.
Speaker 1: Yes, like the leaning tower pizza.
Speaker 3: Do it.
Speaker 1: But then on the side you could you could, but
Speaker 1: you could make a structure around the outside that's made
Speaker 1: of like those really crispy breadsticks that you get at
Speaker 1: some Italian places and use that as you're scaffolding to
Speaker 1: go straight up.
Speaker 3: Oh and make little food workers out a salary with
Speaker 3: little carrot construction hats.
Speaker 1: Hey speaking, Oh go ahead.
Speaker 3: No, no, I were you about to talk to the
Speaker 3: world of the world of miniature.
Speaker 1: No, I was, okay, I was just going to transition
Speaker 1: into how was your Easter? But that's kind of a
Speaker 1: moot question since all of our easters were exactly the same,
Speaker 1: and I grew.
Speaker 3: Up I think when I was a kid of course
Speaker 3: we died eggs, so we did that much. But I
Speaker 3: didn't have Catholic or otherwise church going parents, so it
Speaker 3: was it was a lot like the last fifteen easters
Speaker 3: I've had. Just noticing that other people still go to church.
Speaker 1: I should have called you and yelled. He has truly
Speaker 1: risen into the phone so that you felt like you
Speaker 1: had a church one.
Speaker 3: Right, I'm pulling bread out of the oven.
Speaker 1: He have you made? You haven't made bread?
Speaker 3: No, I haven't made a bread stuff. You know, it
Speaker 3: goes straight to my glutes. I've been making mostly I've
Speaker 3: been eating pretty healthy. Actually, it's a lot of putting vegetables,
Speaker 3: chopping them up, putting in a pan, and then stacking
Speaker 3: them in the end. So I've been eating a lot
Speaker 3: of piles of food.
Speaker 1: Yes, maybe on top of some brown rice or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and way more garbonzo beans than I ever thought,
Speaker 3: or chickpeas or whatever you want to call them. Same thing. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also stallions and onions, green onions are the same thing.
Speaker 3: I'm learning a lot. Yeah, that is true about produce.
Speaker 1: I've got my master's degree online.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that still your handle?
Speaker 1: Oh hell yeah? Hell yeah, that's that's one of those commercials,
Speaker 1: from of all the mamercials we talk about, from our
Speaker 1: childhoods that are permanently burned into our brains. I feel
Speaker 1: like I know that whole one by heart. I'm sure
Speaker 1: we've talked this for sure, we've talked about already on
Speaker 1: this show.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Sally Struthers being the first person
Speaker 3: during a commercial that I see cry on camera. She
Speaker 3: just cries. She cry talks and it works, yes.
Speaker 1: Because she kind of talks like this, would you like
Speaker 1: to make more money at home? Sure we all do that.
Speaker 1: It's like, Sally, you're already breaking. You have to be
Speaker 1: able to handle this problem so that we all can
Speaker 1: feel like we can handle it too. Yes, I want
Speaker 1: to make more money from home. Go on with what
Speaker 1: you're saying. Oh, sure we all do.
Speaker 3: She was just sad that she wanted to leave her home. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I want to make more money at home because you
Speaker 3: have no choice but to stay there. Sure we all do,
Speaker 3: oh Sally? And then she went right, was on that list?
Speaker 1: There's TVBCR repair, gun repair, childcare, gun repair. Those ones,
Speaker 1: gun repair and childcare were right next to each other,
Speaker 1: which I always loved this. I feel like this was
Speaker 1: one of my first bits that I used to do,
Speaker 1: like on the playground, you know what I mean, or
Speaker 1: would be like you guys, gun repair and childcare.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah that. My first bit was about infomercial reenactments
Speaker 3: people hurting their back trying to do tasks around the house.
Speaker 3: Sure ye yeah. That and my wig bit o ta
Speaker 3: to the top.
Speaker 1: Two rich areas. Don't you miss it? Audience?
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, then I just stared.
Speaker 1: I just stared off, stared off, staring out the window.
Speaker 3: I have to tell you to get You used to
Speaker 3: brag about this mechanic you had, and it was while
Speaker 3: you had your Honda fit. Yes, my car of course
Speaker 3: went down and tried to start it for the first
Speaker 3: time in three weeks. I can't remember where I was going. Oh,
Speaker 3: I was gonna go grocery shopping. I have to bite
Speaker 3: the bullet. That's proof. I haven't used my car in
Speaker 3: three weeks. Yeah, and it's just dead. And I had
Speaker 3: my neighbor look at the battery and it works. Oh
Speaker 3: so my car is I need to use your mechanics.
Speaker 3: So after this, okay, I'll get you.
Speaker 1: Like he's over those he's right in Glendale kind of
Speaker 1: by that drive through Starbucks.
Speaker 3: We want to right on San very close. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get Triple A to take it straight to him.
Speaker 3: I isn't good with electrics.
Speaker 1: He oh, I don't know. Wait is your car hybrid?
Speaker 3: No, but it's I have an electrical problem, like all
Speaker 3: the lights are oh yes going off?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes. He's good at everything. And also he's he's
Speaker 1: he tries to make it so that you don't get reamed.
Speaker 1: And I've never met a mechanic like that, where oftentimes
Speaker 1: they're like, hey, look, you know, this is how much
Speaker 1: alternators cost a hundred dollars and then this is the
Speaker 1: you know, this is how much like what am I
Speaker 1: trying to think of? Like the actual cost of labor,
Speaker 1: parts and labor, blah blah blah, that kind of stuff
Speaker 1: where usually they break it down and there's kind of
Speaker 1: nothing you can say. But he's that kind of person's like, man,
Speaker 1: do you have two hundred and fifty dollars? Like he'll
Speaker 1: kind of weirdly haggle with you, or at least he
Speaker 1: did when I was so broken, truly had nothing, and
Speaker 1: yet all four of my tires were bald on that
Speaker 1: hand fit bad news.
Speaker 3: I Yeah, I had a guy in Venice that Big Bill.
Speaker 3: It was Big Bill's automotive, and he would only charge
Speaker 3: me for parts. He's like, oh, it's not that hard.
Speaker 3: And one time my car broke down and he drove
Speaker 3: me back to it and went to my car across
Speaker 3: town really and tried to work on it in front
Speaker 3: of someone's house. Like are you He's treated me like
Speaker 3: a nephew or something.
Speaker 1: Oh Big Bill.
Speaker 3: And I know he's no longer with us because there's
Speaker 3: some rich kids. They turned his shop into like an
Speaker 3: industrial apartment compleat. Oh I miss big Bill. Bill. Help us, Oh,
Speaker 3: help us. I hope he's still with us.
Speaker 1: I hope maybe he's like a mobile mechanic. I bet
Speaker 1: mobile mechanics make bank.
Speaker 3: He had a knack for it.
Speaker 1: It was his passion. Clearly, there's a couple. I've gone
Speaker 1: to a couple really decent mechanics in this town, which
Speaker 1: I never expect. I'm just always like, yep, you're going
Speaker 1: to be dishonest, you're going to read me or whatever.
Speaker 1: This is going to be terrible. And more often than not,
Speaker 1: it's people who are they're just trying to make a
Speaker 1: living and they know that treating you well is how
Speaker 1: to do it is what I find.
Speaker 3: I worked on hunt. Yeah, I need to get his number.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited about that because I should probably have
Speaker 3: a car. Yeah, in case something comes up.
Speaker 1: In case a new thing comes up. You know.
Speaker 3: I think it's healthy. Yeah, to prepare for things to
Speaker 3: suddenly be normal.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's a good idea. Or get way worse and
Speaker 1: you have to drive away exactly. Either way, it's not
Speaker 1: let's keep those wheels a moving. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I need to be able to go grocery shopping, Yes.
Speaker 1: For sure. I have to say my biggest regret before,
Speaker 1: right at the beginning of this, I made it Amazon purchase,
Speaker 1: and it was kind of like all the things I
Speaker 1: couldn't find at the store. And one of the things,
Speaker 1: what I can't remember if I told you this already,
Speaker 1: was those little Debbie cosmic brownies. Have you ever had those?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: A cosmic brownie?
Speaker 1: No? So well I thought I was getting. I mistakenly
Speaker 1: bought six boxes of them, is the short of it.
Speaker 1: And at first I was like, this is great because
Speaker 1: they'll always have these. I never want to see another
Speaker 1: one of these brownies again, Like I keep eating them
Speaker 1: against my own will. They don't taste good to me anymore.
Speaker 1: They're very plastic y, But in the beginning they were
Speaker 1: really comforting because they're very like grammar school lunch snack
Speaker 1: kind of feel and fare a while you don't. You
Speaker 1: shouldn't have grammar school lunch snacks when you're trying to
Speaker 1: like get through a day and retain your health. Cosmic
Speaker 1: brownies don't come in here, dude.
Speaker 3: That reminds you of a simpler a time in the past.
Speaker 3: I've been watching a lot of like why would I
Speaker 3: watch all three lethal weapons? It's the same as having
Speaker 3: brownies that someone's mom would make. Oh and there have
Speaker 3: been nights where I'm so hungry for anything and have
Speaker 3: an empty fridge and I haven't touched I have your
Speaker 3: kit cats. They are good. Oh good, Yeah, Canadian kit cats.
Speaker 3: I've not touched them.
Speaker 1: There's I mean those are from murder reinos from all
Speaker 1: over this this land and the in the world next
Speaker 1: door Canada. They mean, they gave us bags and bags
Speaker 1: of those things, and people ship them to us too.
Speaker 1: It's the greatest. Oh really, yeah, keep those for a
Speaker 1: special occasion because they're nuts good.
Speaker 3: They're so yeah. Yeah, I'm the I There was some
Speaker 3: macha Canada always has like a little twist on a
Speaker 3: Canada candy. We all know, like the Reese's Peanut butter
Speaker 3: cup that I ate once they had jelly in it.
Speaker 3: There's like a little twist. But the macha it wasn't terrible,
Speaker 3: but I'm not a big macha Macha man.
Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry, you're not sorry.
Speaker 3: I don't even know what macha is. It's a tea
Speaker 3: yeah right, yeah, so I ate the tea kit cat. No,
Speaker 3: it's up there with the like in Canada they have
Speaker 3: ketchup chips. You know, there's some stuff that is It's
Speaker 3: just not for our America palate.
Speaker 1: Our highly refined American cosmic brownie palette. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: anything because I think those macha ones are kind of
Speaker 1: white chocolate based, aren't they. Like it's it's not regular chocolate, right,
Speaker 1: it's white chocolate.
Speaker 3: And understood white chocolate. It's the worst, like the same
Speaker 3: amount of calories, but it's just sugar flavored, like milk sugar,
Speaker 3: I don't know, milky sugar milk no, no, no, or
Speaker 3: sugar milk elk. Keep it the way you slice it.
Speaker 1: I don't want it sliced.
Speaker 3: I don't want it poured. I don't want it in
Speaker 3: my mouth.
Speaker 1: Keep the cacao in there. There's no reason to take
Speaker 1: anything else cackow. And also things that are flavored, tea flavored.
Speaker 1: There's you know, like those fancy ice cream stores always
Speaker 1: do that, like a salt and straw where they're like,
Speaker 1: it's your macha, you know, when they try to combine
Speaker 1: three fascinating flavors. It's like cream, cheese, macha and gravel,
Speaker 1: and you're just like, I know, no one wants this.
Speaker 1: Just give me chocolate with peanut butter in it. That's
Speaker 1: all anyone wants there.
Speaker 3: I am a texture guy. I have I've been okay,
Speaker 3: there's a liquor store down here. I've been really good.
Speaker 3: I haven't had a drink in two and a half weeks.
Speaker 3: There's no reason to now, so I feel great. But
Speaker 3: I do go to the liquor store to buy Snickers
Speaker 3: ice cream bars. Sure, And I think the reason I
Speaker 3: like them so much is that there is not gravel
Speaker 3: in them but peanuts. That texture thing. Yes, I'm a
Speaker 3: big nut and chocolate together guy.
Speaker 1: They work. It works.
Speaker 3: It does work. It's a classic, and I'm going to
Speaker 3: keep falling back on it when my move when my
Speaker 3: when my stories don't work.
Speaker 1: The much like when they start. Somebody discovered that sea
Speaker 1: salt and caramel was such a good combination, and it
Speaker 1: really is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would not You could describe that to me,
Speaker 3: and I wouldn't. I wouldn't be on board. But yes,
Speaker 3: it works.
Speaker 1: Yeah, irl totally works.
Speaker 3: Yeah. All you have to do is tap into several
Speaker 3: quadrants of your tongue and that's a recipe for joy.
Speaker 1: And if you can't tap into all four quadrants of
Speaker 1: your tongue, you have coronavirus.
Speaker 3: Right right in your mouth.
Speaker 1: Did you hear that that one of the early signs
Speaker 1: is you stop being able to smell and taste.
Speaker 3: Yes, and so like when it rains, I have allergies
Speaker 3: for some reason. And even though I know it's my
Speaker 3: nose being plugged up, when I can't smell, I'm like,
Speaker 3: I got it. Yeah, yeah, and I have a fever.
Speaker 3: And then I checked the thermostat and it's explained that
Speaker 3: I have it all the way up.
Speaker 1: I did that two mornings ago, woke up boiling hot,
Speaker 1: went and got my baby thermometer that I bought right
Speaker 1: before the quarantine started, Thank god. And have you done that?
Speaker 1: Where you have the digital thermometer that you watch as
Speaker 1: it's in your mouth. You watch the numbers go up.
Speaker 1: It's a very singular experience watching the numbers go up
Speaker 1: and being like, don't go any higher, okay, And it
Speaker 1: went and normally my temperature is ninety six point seven.
Speaker 1: That's that's where it always stops.
Speaker 3: And know your normal temperature.
Speaker 1: Well, just only because that's what this thing always tells me,
Speaker 1: is that's my temperature. And I know ninety eight point
Speaker 1: six is the standard, and.
Speaker 3: Then boy bands too.
Speaker 1: But then they say one hundred and three is when
Speaker 1: you're like in the bread zone and you're so. But anyway,
Speaker 1: when I got up the other morning and I was
Speaker 1: really hot, I was like, shit, I have to take
Speaker 1: my temperature. And then I just watched, like with crossed
Speaker 1: eyes like a cartoon, watched the little readout cause it's
Speaker 1: like ticking up, and it stopped exactly at ninety eight
Speaker 1: point six, and it was like, wow, the hugest relief
Speaker 1: higher than normal, but still normal.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I was pretty disappointed when I went to
Speaker 3: buy a thermometer at the beginning of this thing and
Speaker 3: that those had been stockpiled just like toilet paper. Yeah,
Speaker 3: do you guys still have your toilet paper?
Speaker 1: I mine still hasn't run out yet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I barely dented the stack.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I well, because I was I think I
Speaker 1: had like I had just run out when we bought
Speaker 1: that toilet paper. I find the toilet paper we bought,
Speaker 1: and I can't remember if we've talked about this already.
Speaker 1: It's very loosely connected to the cardboard role on the inside,
Speaker 1: which is uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is that? It's like a Chinese toy yoga.
Speaker 3: It's like a paper thing and you used to swing it.
Speaker 3: If you put your fingers in the toilet paper roll
Speaker 3: and go like that, it will just fly. Yes, it's
Speaker 3: very loosely.
Speaker 1: Bound, which it doesn't matter, I guess, but I guess not.
Speaker 1: It doesn't impact anything important. But it's still not comfortable.
Speaker 3: Yeah. When I have my rules for toilet paper, which
Speaker 3: I've never written down, but I being tightly tightly wound
Speaker 3: is not has never been one.
Speaker 1: No, My Rules for toilet paper is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite rom coms of all time. My ten Rules for
Speaker 1: Hating toilet paper about you? But I just found did
Speaker 1: I tell you so? The day? It wasn't the day
Speaker 1: that I was I had the panic attack because it
Speaker 1: was so it was like two weeks later when I
Speaker 1: calmed it all down, So it was actually kind of recently.
Speaker 1: I went to Smart and Final and it was like
Speaker 1: eight in the morning, and they had thirty two packs
Speaker 1: of toilet paper stacked up, like three on each other,
Speaker 1: all the way down the paper aisle. It was like
Speaker 1: a beautiful it was a parade of toilet paper, and
Speaker 1: I grabbed one of those things so fast. I was
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god. So it's not there's not
Speaker 1: a shortage. It's just at certain places. I think if
Speaker 1: there's like too many people in the area, or if
Speaker 1: there's greedy people in the area, you won't be able
Speaker 1: to find it. But if you go early to certain stores,
Speaker 1: it's you know, they put it out in the morning.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the only shortage was the amount of place as
Speaker 3: I was willing to search for it. I'd go to
Speaker 3: one place and be like, well, I guess it's all gone. Yeah,
Speaker 3: But then we found it while podcasting. That was great.
Speaker 3: That was such a wonderful moment.
Speaker 1: Oh, such a relief in such troubling times.
Speaker 3: And the rain isn't helping. It's like not that I
Speaker 3: had plans, but you really feel like in when also
Speaker 3: it's just pouring rain out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know the rain is helping me. It
Speaker 1: feels like it's one additional reason to stay inside, so
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem I feel like when it gets hot
Speaker 1: or sunny, then people are going to start feeling crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's no it is. Yeah, I felt that way.
Speaker 3: It was nice the other day and I started to
Speaker 3: get antsy. Yeah, I bet. And then amazingly, while it's
Speaker 3: raining at night, I still use the sounds of falling
Speaker 3: rain and thunderstorms to fall asleep too, So I'm doubling up.
Speaker 3: Oh good, the real things in the background, but I
Speaker 3: turn up the artificial rain because then I really get
Speaker 3: deep rem.
Speaker 1: When you're asleep for four days, what what happens?
Speaker 3: I have? It's that's the other me being a hypochondriac.
Speaker 3: I've been sleeping for at least ten hours a night.
Speaker 3: That's good, I guess. I don't know. It's not how
Speaker 3: you become successful. Well, I think it's how you.
Speaker 1: I think you can get off the hamster wheel for
Speaker 1: this pandemic. There's no one's becoming successful during this pandemic.
Speaker 3: And that's what is comforting to me. It's weird. I
Speaker 3: don't know if that's healthy. The race is at a
Speaker 3: standstill and it's comforting, I know, and I'm not making
Speaker 3: light of it that terrible things are happening and people
Speaker 3: are dying and I think about that all the time,
Speaker 3: but personally I'm dealing with this everything at a standstill.
Speaker 3: It's somehow comforting for me. Yeah, I guess I am
Speaker 3: competitive well, but also no one else is getting theirs,
Speaker 3: so it's okay that I'm.
Speaker 1: Not you know what I mean, Yes, yes, it's not.
Speaker 1: First of all, you moved to Los Angeles to compete,
Speaker 1: because that's what all show business is, so that's having
Speaker 1: competitive feelings is completely normal and healthy. And then something
Speaker 1: like this, like I'll be honest, you know, Stephen has
Speaker 1: has been there for the day to day of the
Speaker 1: complete insanity of my working life for the past four years,
Speaker 1: where it truly is just one goddamn thing after another
Speaker 1: every day, all day, every day of the week, and
Speaker 1: all this there, all these ideas are said. With what
Speaker 1: you just said, this is one of the scariest things
Speaker 1: I've ever seen, and it's one of the most horrifying
Speaker 1: things that's happened to America ever, especially with these people
Speaker 1: who won't listen and won't fucking just stay inside and
Speaker 1: shut their mouths and stop acting like they know everything
Speaker 1: that It's like other people are just as scary or whatever.
Speaker 1: But just the idea that people are dropping dead, young people,
Speaker 1: you know, people who are trying to help whatever all horrifying.
Speaker 1: But the idea of something happening where everything stops is
Speaker 1: so comforting to me and brings me relief on levels
Speaker 1: that I'm just discovering every single day because I keep normal.
Speaker 1: And four years straight, I've had this list of like
Speaker 1: I have to take care of this thing, I have
Speaker 1: to give this answer, I have to figure out this problem,
Speaker 1: I have to solve this problem, like and the list
Speaker 1: is fifty items long. I don't have a list anymore. So, Like,
Speaker 1: something came up the other day and I was talking
Speaker 1: to one of my agents about it, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, I'd be mad except for that nothing matters.
Speaker 1: So I'm not even slightly bothered by this because what
Speaker 1: is any of what are any of us supposed to do? Like,
Speaker 1: what is anyone supposed to do in a scenario like this?
Speaker 3: Yeah, just like it is comforting almost. I have books
Speaker 3: right there. I haven't cracked one of them.
Speaker 1: I wonder why you turned and dramatically stared off into the.
Speaker 3: Distance so many pages.
Speaker 1: It was like, I guess I should be reading more.
Speaker 3: But everyone dramatic stare. I'm impressed, and I, first of all,
Speaker 3: I'm it's reassuring that I'm I feel pretty happy, I'm
Speaker 3: on and everything. But I've been having fun and I
Speaker 3: didn't know. If someone said, hey, you have to lock
Speaker 3: yourself in your house for an undetermined amount of time,
Speaker 3: I would think i'd go crazy, and I'm not no
Speaker 3: going crazy, no, no, And if someone told me you're
Speaker 3: going to go crazy, I'd be like, ah, you're probably right,
Speaker 3: but I'm not. I'm kind of laughing and having fun. Right,
Speaker 3: So then I think I'm crazy because it's like, wait,
Speaker 3: do I not need people of nurse? I do?
Speaker 1: Well, you kind of don't go because you're a stand
Speaker 1: up comic, and we're the kind of people that early
Speaker 1: on we're like, oh, other people aren't all that reliable
Speaker 1: and hurt my feelings. I'm going to do this by myself.
Speaker 1: So we kind of are in a unique advantage position
Speaker 1: of having practiced this lots for a lot of our lives.
Speaker 1: I don't feel very dependent on although I have to
Speaker 1: say my friends and I did house party that app
Speaker 1: where everyone, oh my god, I've been doing We were like,
Speaker 1: we were laughing and it was just we were playing
Speaker 1: like a pictionary kind of drawing guessing game. I was
Speaker 1: laughing like it was my eighth birthday. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I haven't had this much fun in a long time.
Speaker 1: So I mean I need people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been doing that with my up to twelve
Speaker 3: people childhood friends, and afterwards I'm high for hours. It's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I do need human interaction, and I'm more focused on
Speaker 3: it now and talking to my family more than ever.
Speaker 3: Of course, I think a lot of people are that way.
Speaker 3: You're trying to connect with people well, and it's a
Speaker 3: kind of going into it still.
Speaker 1: Well, it's embarrassing to need people, yeah, but I mean
Speaker 1: it's like, but everyone's in the same position. So you know,
Speaker 1: like I have a group of friends and we do
Speaker 1: game night like once a month, and we decided to
Speaker 1: do a game night on house party, which at first
Speaker 1: I was like, this is dorky and lame and embarrassing,
Speaker 1: and then the second it started, it was the funniest,
Speaker 1: most like helpful, you know, kind of enriching in a
Speaker 1: way experience that I would like. When we were all done,
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, yeah, that's maybe I'm too
Speaker 1: good at being by myself. Because now that everyone's like
Speaker 1: call me, text me, like let's all reach out, it's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right, you're supposed to You're supposed to do this
Speaker 1: and let it make you feel better.
Speaker 3: I'm the same way. I'm hesitant to do it, but
Speaker 3: every time I'm glad I did. Yeah, it's been nice.
Speaker 1: I also sometimes will just call someone on the phone
Speaker 1: in the morning where I'm like, I don't care, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna like if. My friend Elson, very early on
Speaker 1: texted me and it was like like the second morning
Speaker 1: of the quarantine texted me, like and I hadn't seen
Speaker 1: her in a while because we used to work on
Speaker 1: a show together, and she texted me and I just
Speaker 1: called her back because I was like, why are you
Speaker 1: texting me? You might as well just call me, Like
Speaker 1: what totally, what's the point.
Speaker 3: I've been scared to talk on the phone for years.
Speaker 3: I really don't talk on the phone much, and I've
Speaker 3: been really enjoying it so hopefully when this is all over, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll be cleaner. I don't think that's gonna shake. You'll
Speaker 3: have more doile pH, and I'm going to start calling
Speaker 3: people more from when things are normal. That's my resolution. Good,
Speaker 3: that's good by midyear resolution.
Speaker 1: It's good for you in ways like I should say
Speaker 1: for me, it's good for me in ways that I
Speaker 1: don't normally value, but I'm being forced to value because
Speaker 1: there's nothing else. So it's like, yes, I can watch
Speaker 1: another series on Netflix right now, or I can, you know,
Speaker 1: call this person that I like.
Speaker 3: My TV party has been so fulfilling. I've really been
Speaker 3: enjoying it.
Speaker 1: What's your TV party?
Speaker 3: Oh? Just how many movies and series I'm cramming? Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: what you go thinking of them at all times because
Speaker 3: I've been watching something.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at those books. They're not going to help you.
Speaker 3: No, I'm looking at what I'm watching now. I mean,
Speaker 3: when else would I watch the movie Dodgeball. Oh that
Speaker 3: is riddled with offensive jokes, but I'm just watching it
Speaker 3: like to pick up on the mistakes they made. Becoming
Speaker 3: It's like, yes, you can't say that. Even in two
Speaker 3: thousand and three, when this was made. I'm watching a
Speaker 3: lot of bad stuff on purpose and enjoying it, stuff
Speaker 3: I didn't have time for in the past.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what movie my sister would recommend
Speaker 1: if she was here with us right now, which she
Speaker 1: never would be. But she loves the movie euro Trip.
Speaker 1: Have you ever watched that movie?
Speaker 3: No, it's like a national lampoon's euro Tip.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think it's a no. It's
Speaker 1: not a no no no, not the not that that's
Speaker 1: European vacation. Eurotrip is like a way. It's like a
Speaker 1: fifth generation away American pie from the producers of kind
Speaker 1: of thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and right.
Speaker 1: My sister's told me so many times, please just watch it.
Speaker 1: It's really funny, and I'm just like, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about?
Speaker 3: So I might watch it.
Speaker 1: You just reminded me.
Speaker 3: Right when we're done, I'll watch it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, you watch and I'll watch it and we'll
Speaker 1: decide how crazy my sister.
Speaker 3: Is when I go. Because there are some restaurants in
Speaker 3: my area that you can call them and then go
Speaker 3: pick up food or they slide it, kick it over
Speaker 3: to you write it up. I'm worried for them because
Speaker 3: anyone could be robbed. There's no employees. I feel like
Speaker 3: crime isn't happening. Are you keeping track of that since
Speaker 3: you have a murder podcast.
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to ask me if I'm
Speaker 1: doing crimes. I'm doing less crimes than normal.
Speaker 3: Not how many do you knock over the same amount
Speaker 3: of stores that you used to?
Speaker 1: I just lightly shoplift.
Speaker 3: I feel like even murderers are like, yeah, normally i'd
Speaker 3: be outstabbing people, but you know, quarantine. Everyone's following the
Speaker 3: rules they are. I feel like as a result, bad
Speaker 3: things aren't happening, not just environmentally, but even bad people
Speaker 3: are even like the people in my neighborhood that have
Speaker 3: mental issues and don't have anywhere to live, which always
Speaker 3: makes me sad. They're wearing masks as a screen. Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: at fire height.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to stay alive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and for some reason that is comforting to me. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're not. It's not showcased, ever, everyone does want to
Speaker 3: be alive.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 3: Everyone has criminals are staying at home. Maybe I'll just
Speaker 3: find myself this week. I don't need to kill anyone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I don't know. Maybe I maybe my serial
Speaker 1: killing ways need to end. And I need to start
Speaker 1: writing the Great American novel.
Speaker 3: Even as a kid. Yeah, they're picking up that trombone.
Speaker 1: Doing those war colors.
Speaker 3: I don't know why. I think I'm into murder, just
Speaker 3: like in my own way, I've always been. I always
Speaker 3: thought about murderers going to a store and trying on
Speaker 3: shoes and walking around and having someone to pinch and
Speaker 3: see where the toe is. But later on they're going
Speaker 3: to be doing heinous things. Yeah, they're doing a normal
Speaker 3: I always thought about that when I was a kid.
Speaker 3: Murderers buying shoes and trying them on.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing like a person, Well right, the
Speaker 1: when they wear a perfect mask, a perfect skies of
Speaker 1: being normal, and then like what and then they're then
Speaker 1: they start doing their thing and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: they're just like the devil incarnate. That's what's fascinating about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's companies of killers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does it bring you great comfort?
Speaker 3: It does? It is? Yeah, I don't I think my
Speaker 3: point was weird, but I did always wonder what because
Speaker 3: you would You don't have a lot in common with
Speaker 3: those types of people, except everyone goes and buys shoes.
Speaker 3: I guess that's what I'm saying true, true, and everyone's
Speaker 3: worried about masks right.
Speaker 1: In in a pandemic, everyone wants to stay alive because
Speaker 1: even if you're a total psychopath and you're completely disconnected
Speaker 1: from all feeling and whatever, you still want to continue
Speaker 1: to live. So it's self interest that which is what
Speaker 1: the ironic part of those people who I watched a
Speaker 1: video today, which is what makes me mad. Somebody retweeted
Speaker 1: on Twitter of like these people like they had a
Speaker 1: small group of protesters trying to get like a kind
Speaker 1: of like a walking parade going. I think it was
Speaker 1: in Seattle or somewhere like that, and the person talking
Speaker 1: was just like, we're not going to let the government
Speaker 1: tell us what to do, Like they thought they were
Speaker 1: so fucking smart. And it's like, how come you how
Speaker 1: come you don't aren't so scared to die that this
Speaker 1: is what you're doing? How is this possible?
Speaker 3: Or you just don't don't believe that they that think
Speaker 3: it's a paranoia and fake news and everything that that
Speaker 3: it's that bad, that the numbers aren't real, they're just
Speaker 3: ignoring or the not watching that news. I always wonder
Speaker 3: what people are thinking they aren't watching the same news yeah, true,
Speaker 3: or they're not watching any I guess.
Speaker 1: Right, they're just they just got kind of like the
Speaker 1: general idea of say say fuck you to the man
Speaker 1: and the lib lib tards can't keep you at home
Speaker 1: or whatever weird thing where it's just like and in
Speaker 1: two weeks we're in here about you being dead, Like
Speaker 1: this is the way to keep.
Speaker 3: Saying any proof. I haven't heard any proof on my
Speaker 3: ham radio. Look, that's all they're they're just not watching.
Speaker 1: Or in my uh my newsletter.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, pamphlets. Oh, I have so many pamphlets to
Speaker 3: go through.
Speaker 1: Oh, wipe them all down first, please.
Speaker 3: Oh I oh, I have been I when I do
Speaker 3: get groceries, even when hand delivered, I've been springing them
Speaker 3: with bleach. I've really done a good job. Could be
Speaker 3: so proud of me. Bleach just on the packaging, right right, okay,
Speaker 3: just a mist of watery bleach?
Speaker 1: Oh good, okay, all right, that's yeah, I'm thinking not
Speaker 1: straight up not okay, good good.
Speaker 3: I'm hardly ingesting and just trace amounts.
Speaker 1: Of bleach, hardly at all.
Speaker 3: This was every time someone's in one of these zoom things.
Speaker 3: Did you watch Saturday Night Live to it for some
Speaker 3: reason was very really good to me. For that same reason,
Speaker 3: they're in the same position as us. All of the
Speaker 3: sketches were them writing an idea cast member and performing
Speaker 3: it in their living room with no laughs, so it
Speaker 3: just becomes a video that you're watching. And they did
Speaker 3: a lot of zoom and skype meeting type sketches, and
Speaker 3: I laughed through the whole thing. I also cry constantly,
Speaker 3: So I'm an easy I'm an easy target. But they
Speaker 3: did a really good job, I think, And I can't
Speaker 3: remember why I'm mentioning that.
Speaker 1: Just hooray for them to positive feelings, just like.
Speaker 3: I just enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: They yeah, we all got to see Tom Hanks's kitchen.
Speaker 3: That was cool. Yeah, yeah, so that that episode I enjoyed.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I people retweet little pieces and that's I
Speaker 1: see things on Twitter and then go not for me.
Speaker 1: I support.
Speaker 3: I got on Hulu and committed to a whole episode,
Speaker 3: and I haven't watched Snell for a lot of years,
Speaker 3: and it made me laugh. You know, I had a
Speaker 3: reason that I brought that up. Okay, and it'll come
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 1: Oh, I see. It just made me think of your
Speaker 1: We just came full circle with the wigs where that
Speaker 1: was there was some clip that people were retweeting or
Speaker 1: at least a piece of it, and there was I
Speaker 1: just saw there were too many. There's too much wig
Speaker 1: work where I was just like it was like somebody
Speaker 1: in their normal shirt, but then like a kookie wig
Speaker 1: where I was like, this is I have a stomach
Speaker 1: ache immediately, this is every horrible audition I've ever been
Speaker 1: to is not for me.
Speaker 3: You're right, and I have that wig phobia myself. It's
Speaker 3: just but it turns out every once in a while
Speaker 3: it lets you know that someone's pretending to be a character. Sure,
Speaker 3: it's just an indicator.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it reminds you you're not just watching someone
Speaker 1: like a pervert in their house like you, someone you
Speaker 1: somehow tapped in and hidden a camera inside.
Speaker 3: They're home home. There you are with that Philly accent again.
Speaker 1: All right, well.
Speaker 3: You've been listening. Do you need a ride? E yn
Speaker 3: r Hong Kong? Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be.
Speaker 2: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give
Speaker 2: us time and they turminal engage. We want to send
Speaker 2: you off inside. We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Malcorn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need with Karen and Chris?
Speaker 1: Although Chris has so much more volume in his hair
Speaker 1: than me, I'm jealous.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 1: Please record this, even recording. What a reveal, What a reveal,