1 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: Take a deep breath in through your nose. Holds it. 2 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 2: Now, release slowly again, deep in, helle. 3 00:00:50,960 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 3: Hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to 4 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 3: my voice. I am deeply well. I am deeply well. 5 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 3: I am deeply I'm Debbie Brown and this is the 6 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 3: Deeply Well Podcast. 7 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on 8 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative, 9 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care. 10 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: This is where we heal, this is where we transcend. 11 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show, everybody. This is deeply Well. 12 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: Of course, I'm your host, Debbie Brown. Today we're going 13 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: to be diving into a topic that feels honestly more 14 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: urgent than ever our ability to focus in a world 15 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:18,679 Speaker 1: that's consistently constantly pulling at our attention, be it through screens, 16 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: our schedules, and just the endless noise of what it 17 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: is to be alive on earth as a modern human, 18 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: many of us are struggling to stay present to what 19 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: truly matters to us and to remember that there are 20 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: other ways to be even with all of this noise happening. 21 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,919 Speaker 1: So today we're having a powerful conversation get your journals ready, 22 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 1: because honestly, we are going to have so many tips 23 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: and processes and kind of ways to work with your biology, 24 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,639 Speaker 1: ways to work with your life. So I know this 25 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: episode is going to be one of those, y'all know 26 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: how it goes. Joining me in this conversation today is 27 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: someone who has been leading the way and helping us 28 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: understand how to reclaim our mental clarity and our emotional resilience. 29 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:13,119 Speaker 1: Doctors the Lana Momony is a leading behavioral scientist, resilience expert, 30 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: and author dedicated to helping individuals and organizations thrive in 31 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: the face of modern stress and distraction. Her newest book, 32 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: Finding Focus, Own Your Attention in the Age of Distraction, 33 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: offers a science backed roadmap for reclaiming attention in today's 34 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: hyper connected world. Blending clinical psychology, nutrition, and holistic wellness, 35 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 1: doctor Momeni delivers practical strategies to sharpen focus for productivity 36 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: and the emotional resilience and meaningful connection that we all seek. 37 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: Her new book, which I really kind of want to 38 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: lean in and tell you all about because I think 39 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: you need it, it's called Finding Focus once Again, Own 40 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: your Attention in the Age of distract This creates action 41 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: plans to reclaim your focus, direct your attention and save 42 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: your mind. Save your minds, save your mind, save your 43 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: brain and an era of endless distractions. Our brains are 44 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: wired for focus, we are designed for it, we crave it, 45 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: and yet in our current age of overload, we often 46 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: feel like our minds are bolting from one distraction to 47 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,840 Speaker 1: the next, with sustained focus always just kind of out 48 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: of reach. So finding focus is an empowering guide to 49 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: reclaiming your most precious resource, your attention. Leading behavioral scientists 50 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: of course, that we have today is veiling in this 51 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 1: book the science behind Focus and Distraction, revealing how our 52 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,480 Speaker 1: hyper connected reality and that endless flux that goes on 53 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 1: between the digital world and the physical world, we are 54 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: living two realities. It fragments our thoughts and diminishes our 55 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,919 Speaker 1: overall well being. So this book it equips you with 56 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,840 Speaker 1: powerful strategies to silence the noise, rewire your brain, unleash 57 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: your potential, and rediscover yourself without further ado. Doctor Zielana, 58 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining. 59 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 4: I'm so happy to be here. 60 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: That was beautiful things. Oh my god, Well what's your work? Wow? 61 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: So when I first heard about your book. I'm someone 62 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: that is always trying to biohack myself, Like I am 63 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: always trying to find ways to do more with less, 64 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: to really like maximize the energetic potential, like get it 65 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 1: all out. I do a lot of good recovery for 66 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: myself too. But so when I heard about this, you know, 67 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: something I'm always thinking of, and I guess, kind of 68 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,919 Speaker 1: even before I lock into the millions of questions I 69 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: have for you, something that I have been spending a 70 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,480 Speaker 1: lot of time and thought on, is one how none 71 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: of us consented to being transformed into what we are 72 00:05:56,040 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: right now. Like I didn't know like when friend Finder first, 73 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: right and then that led to my Space, into Facebook, 74 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: into Instagram, that this would have to be a part 75 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 1: of every day of my life, and that like so 76 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: much of my life would eventually and societyally become interchained, 77 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: you know, interconnected with all of it. And it's just 78 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: like that's frightening to me. It's strange to me. And 79 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: I think we're living these two realities where you are 80 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: whoever you are with the screen in front of you, 81 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: and then you're who you are in your real life. 82 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: And I guess in your expertise and profession, like, how 83 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 1: do you see this moment in time for us? 84 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 4: Well, I think you've really articulated the crux of the 85 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 4: issue at the core is that we live in this 86 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 4: in between state constantly between our physical world and our 87 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 4: digital world, and we're just task switching and fluttering in between, 88 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 4: and it is exhausting because the human brain wasn't meant 89 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 4: to function under this kind of input and constant task switching. 90 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 4: So what we see as exhaustion or burnout or discontent 91 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 4: or issues with our relationships or our kids or our 92 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 4: work is really, honestly, at the core, our inability to 93 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 4: keep up in a way that biologically we weren't meant to. Yeah, 94 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 4: and you know, people talk about evolution and we adjust 95 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 4: to whatever is put in front of us, and the 96 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 4: reality is, from a neuropsychological perspective, we just can't. We 97 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 4: really can't adjust to this. The input is just it's 98 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 4: too much, and our nervous system is always dysregulated essentially 99 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 4: because of it. And so really that's why I wrote 100 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 4: the book, not as a productivity tool. It's actually almost 101 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 4: the reverse. It's like we need to come back to 102 00:07:56,040 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 4: what makes us human, because what is cur only happening 103 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 4: is is just it's it's I believe to be one 104 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 4: of the biggest epidemics of our generation. 105 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Like even as you're talking right now, 106 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: it's like, oh man. 107 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 4: And again, I don't want anyone listening to this to 108 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 4: feel ashamed. This is not a personal struggle. This is 109 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 4: a collective issue. And as you said, you know we 110 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 4: are you know, our our attention is their profit margin, 111 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:36,679 Speaker 4: and so what willever, whatever they can do to hijack 112 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 4: us in that way, it's going to happen. And again, 113 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 4: it's not to demonize any one particular company or whatever 114 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 4: it is. It's just they they know that that's that's 115 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 4: that's easy. And here we are giving away our power. Yeah, 116 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 4: you know, our ability to focus is our human birthright 117 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 4: and we just can't. We've lost touch with that muscle. 118 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 4: And it's something we have to exercise consistently and work 119 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 4: on and build, and it is eroding the very foundation 120 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 4: of what makes us connect and to ourselves into each other. 121 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: This is the conversation the world needs. Oh my god. 122 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: You know, what is something that I think about within 123 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 1: this is like, you know, when we're speaking about the 124 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: fact that we're actually not built or designed to be 125 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: doing any of this as human beings like our biology, 126 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: which is like our human technology. Yes we are not. 127 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: It feels almost like sometimes like we are that missing 128 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,199 Speaker 1: link in science, like when people study us thousands of 129 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: years from now that we're going to be the generation 130 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: that pulled evolution forward, but we were kind of the 131 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 1: test subjects, yes to whatever this this new technologically, you know, 132 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: focused new world is going to be, which is already becoming, 133 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: Like anywhere I go on there are cars that are 134 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: driving themselves. We are in the future, you know, we 135 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: have AI we have and the rapid speed within which 136 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: all this is happening, and I think we there is 137 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: this and I would love to hear I mean, because 138 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: this is just like my thought and assumption, but with 139 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 1: the science behind it, you know, it seems like the 140 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: ways that we are stretching ourselves like we really don't 141 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:32,839 Speaker 1: understand the cost of what this is becoming inside of us. 142 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, and that's that's honestly. The biggest cost of 143 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 4: that is our essentially our dissociation from ourselves and our relationships. 144 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 4: And when you look at the research and the science 145 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 4: on what really sort of helps us thrive. Of course, 146 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 4: it's all the foundational stuff like nutrition and sleep and 147 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 4: all of that that I also talk about in the book, 148 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 4: but a lot of it is actually connection. It's human connection, 149 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 4: and that has completely eroded and one of the biggest 150 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:05,839 Speaker 4: costs of our attention economy essentially. But I do want 151 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,199 Speaker 4: to bring up a point that goes a step beyond technology, 152 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 4: because I know, yes, of course devices technology that is 153 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 4: eroding our focus, probably the most because it's the easiest, 154 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 4: the quickest, we have it in our pocket. 155 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: It's it's ubiquitous, right. 156 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 4: But I also think that we are so we are 157 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 4: not able to sit with our discomfort, right because of 158 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 4: our escapism and the ability like we're just totally numbed out. 159 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 4: It's so much easier to triple screen, you know, and 160 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 4: like binge watch Netflix while buying groceries and checking emails 161 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,839 Speaker 4: at the same time, while also sitting next to our 162 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 4: partners and pretending that we're spending time together, right, Like, 163 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 4: It's so much easier to do that than to have 164 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,719 Speaker 4: the tough conversations like I don't like the way you 165 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 4: spoke to me this morning and it's not okay with me, 166 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 4: But I'd rather just watch Netflix and not deal with that, right, 167 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 4: So we're numbed out. So, yes, devices are sort of 168 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 4: the tool, the easy symptom, but below that, we're escaping 169 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 4: the discomfort of being human and wow, we have sort 170 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,559 Speaker 4: of we've become so used to that that in addition 171 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 4: to devices, something else we do all the time is 172 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,199 Speaker 4: just say yes too much, or not have the right boundaries, 173 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 4: or fill our days and say that we're you know, 174 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 4: successful or ambitious, but really that's just a mask for 175 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 4: not wanting to sit with ourselves and the issues that 176 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 4: we face or the trauma that we haven't really dealt with. Right, 177 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 4: So it's these So it's also the fact that we're 178 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 4: just we're performing wellness and we're seeing yes to so 179 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 4: many things, saying that that's what success means, but really 180 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 4: does it? So I think we just there's a line 181 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 4: too with yes, it's devices, but also how are we 182 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 4: sitting with our discomfort? How are we practicing our humanity? 183 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 1: Yeah? Right, how that's also a cause of humanity. I 184 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: don't know what is right or wrong, but I do 185 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: know we are looking at what does that actually cost us? 186 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: Like what does what is the toll of this? Much 187 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,959 Speaker 1: like micro and macro information. 188 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, and when you think about it, you 189 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,079 Speaker 4: you want to be you want to do the most 190 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 4: you can for for let's say, society or humanity or 191 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,680 Speaker 4: whatever it is your cause. Activism only works when you're 192 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:36,719 Speaker 4: really focused, right, It's it's like it rested. Yeah, if 193 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 4: you're just like in this nebulous like knowing everything, trying 194 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 4: dabbling in everything, trying to have a voice in everything, 195 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 4: it's never it's going to be diluted. 196 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: That's good. 197 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 4: So so we can't we shouldn't know everything about everyone everywhere. 198 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 4: We just cannot or. 199 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: Not allow ourselves to lock you into everything. Yeah, And just. 200 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 4: It's almost like, yeah, we can passively sort of see it, 201 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 4: and I even find myself and it worries me when 202 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:12,959 Speaker 4: I see, you know, extreme trauma elsewhere. 203 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 1: Right, let's just say. 204 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 4: And I almost don't even react anymore because it's become 205 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 4: so common and my nervous, like I just don't even 206 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 4: know what I can do, and I feel so helpless 207 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 4: and hopeless, and I know other people feel the same way. 208 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 4: And so I truly believe that we need to become 209 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 4: fiercely aware of this and edit our space or information 210 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 4: where we get things from whom and really become much 211 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 4: more focused about what it is we care about. Yeah, right, yeah, 212 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 4: because even our ability to care is at stake. And 213 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 4: I know that sounds really big, but if you think 214 00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 4: about it, it is. 215 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: It really is. What you're talking about right now just 216 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: feels so affirming to me as a woman with where 217 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm at in my process, because I think I have 218 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: kind of intuitively been understanding that I can't care about 219 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: as much as I've cared about. And I'm talking about people, places, 220 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: and things and really with no judgment and not even 221 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: in like you know, I'm cutting people off kind of 222 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 1: a way of course, but you know or or you know, yeah, 223 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: like I've I've had to really thoughtfully sunset things that 224 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 1: I was doing for work. I've had to take distance 225 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: from people right now because I've found that, you know, 226 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: for me, a boundary in friendship that I'm really clear 227 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: on has become like I can't be in friendship with 228 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 1: emotionally immature adults. And that is not that I'm not 229 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 1: saying that term as a criticism. It's an actual term, 230 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: you know, with a set of behavioral standards underneath it. 231 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 1: But I realize what I was thinking of, like what 232 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 1: pulls my time or what gives me charge, what doesn't 233 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: feel congruent in my life. It's just like, oh, it's 234 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 1: the situations where for some people emotionally their integrity is 235 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 1: always going to fluctuate based on how they're feeling in 236 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: the moment, and even pulling that focus back and realizing 237 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: how much focus went to that, even just silently, you know, 238 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: just in witnessing it. But also the same thing with 239 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: like I love that you're talking about getting use your 240 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 1: passion and use your power, but don't dilute it trying 241 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 1: to give a teeny tiny bit to everything, Like find 242 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 1: the things that you are actually deeply aligned with and 243 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: can have like effect on in presence with, and then 244 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 1: go all in with those things. But that also like 245 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: saves your brain. 246 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 4: It does, because here's something that we never really think 247 00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 4: about but is a scientific truth. Our attention is finite. 248 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 4: We run around thinking it's just infinite. We can just 249 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 4: give it to anything everywhere, all the time and whatever, 250 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 4: dabble there's this that, and yet no. 251 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 1: It e roads we what does that mean? It means 252 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 1: that we only have. 253 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 4: A certain amount of attention to give every day. 254 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: Really, yes, okay, hold on because I've never heard that before. 255 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,360 Speaker 1: I think, especially as women, we are the greatest multitaskers 256 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 1: on earth to our detriment, and I want to get 257 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: into Yes, that's a whole other Yeah, I never it 258 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 1: never occurred to me that there is actually this like 259 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: reservoir that's on tap as, right, and attention that could 260 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: run dry. Scientifically, what's happening, Well. 261 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 4: I mean really it's it's a whole cocktail of hormones 262 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 4: and chemicals and neuro transmitters. But really, you know, when 263 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,919 Speaker 4: you wake up in the morning, let's say, your brain 264 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 4: is sort of like we cement. I like to use 265 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 4: that metaphor, and so when we wake up and grab 266 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 4: our phone, I'm just giving examples, right, Like most of us, 267 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 4: we make imprints, and we start our days in everyone 268 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 4: else's life other than our own, right, And so now 269 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 4: we're imprinting on our wet cement all these other things 270 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 4: that take up space in our brain, and our attention 271 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 4: goes to all these things, and then we kind of 272 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 4: go about our day and everything feels urgent even though 273 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,880 Speaker 4: it's not, and everything requires attention, and we try to prioritize, 274 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 4: and you know, it's just and so our attention reservoir. 275 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 4: I mean, there isn't like a physical reservoir for attention, 276 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 4: but if you think about it, sort of chemically, our 277 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 4: nervous system can only take so much throughout the day, 278 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 4: and our attention sort of fluctuates. The way we regain 279 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 4: sort of clips of attention is by this deep reset 280 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,439 Speaker 4: or or sort of going into this resting mode of 281 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 4: our brain that you may have heard about, and it's 282 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 4: like a deep reset. Boredom, for example, helps with that 283 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 4: deep reset. We never are board anymore. So we're just 284 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 4: like running on this unreal, bizarre We just are running 285 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 4: out our attention reservoirs every single day. We listen to 286 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 4: a podcast maybe while driving, which I love podcasts, by 287 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:23,959 Speaker 4: the way, right of course, but we're constantly we're constantly consuming. 288 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 4: Our brain cannot constantly consume, so our attention bank decreases, decreases, decreases, 289 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 4: and while and then let's also throw in the multitasking piece, 290 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 4: which actually doesn't exist. Our brain cannot multitask, so I 291 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,639 Speaker 4: call it task switching. Every time we switch tasks, it 292 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 4: takes about twenty three to twenty five minutes, not seconds. 293 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:53,119 Speaker 4: I did not misspeak minutes to go back to whatever 294 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 4: it is to refocus. 295 00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 5: So we're losing hours every single day just by trying 296 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 5: to be good at whatever it is we're doing and 297 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 5: do multiple things. 298 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 4: So by the end of the day we're spent. Yeah, 299 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 4: and guess what, It's not just our job or our 300 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 4: failed relationships or our kids or whatever it is that 301 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,520 Speaker 4: we think it is. It's that we we have just 302 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 4: totally exhausted our attention reservoir and our nervous system is 303 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:27,119 Speaker 4: now trying to catch up. And again you ask about 304 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 4: like the chemical process, Yes, like we release cortisol, which 305 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 4: spikes our stress hormones. We release all these different hormones 306 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 4: that are involved in the attention sort of capacity. But 307 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 4: that's almost like too technical because if you think about it, 308 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 4: it's like it's we wake up with a very finite 309 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 4: amount that we can attune to anything, because the human 310 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:53,120 Speaker 4: brain isn't meant to just attune for you know, eons, 311 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 4: especially not with everything coming at us. In addition to 312 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 4: you know. 313 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: What it is that it was so oh wow. 314 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 4: We're just eroded. Yeah, and no wonder We're we're flailing 315 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 4: and we're just we're spent. 316 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,680 Speaker 3: Deeply, Well, what. 317 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: Is happening to us? I guess when we do pour 318 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: attention into a screen, right, and what has been happening 319 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 1: to us? Because you know the thing that people say, 320 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: like creatively, like for people that identify as creators on Instagram, 321 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 1: right like, everyone says, oh, you got to make it quicker, 322 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,479 Speaker 1: you got to make it faster, because our attention spans 323 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,919 Speaker 1: are so low. And I'm just like, I'm someone that 324 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 1: loves long form content personally, so I'm just like, so 325 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,159 Speaker 1: when did that happen? And does it keep getting lower 326 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 1: and lower? 327 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 4: So our brain is a muscle and whatever we train 328 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 4: it to do is what it seeks. So when we 329 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 4: expose it to this quick form content, it's going to 330 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 4: seek out quick form content because that's the fastest way 331 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 4: to get a dopamine hit. The mean is sort of 332 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 4: that feel good chemical that makes us feel like we're rewarded. 333 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 4: And so it's what companies have figured out is this, 334 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 4: like the short form content gives us that quick dopamine. 335 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 4: We don't have to work hard for it. We can 336 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,440 Speaker 4: just keep doing it and it's like this reward loop 337 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,719 Speaker 4: and we feel good about it. But it's all super 338 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 4: super surface, and we have trained our brain to know 339 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 4: that we don't have to do anything to feel good. 340 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 4: It used to be like we you know, a kid 341 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 4: would have to go and practice let's say getting a 342 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 4: soccer ball in the net. You practice for hours, so 343 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 4: when you finally got that goal, you feel so good 344 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,679 Speaker 4: about it. That's your dopamine loops. That's the kind of 345 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 4: dopamine that we want to train our brain to get. Yeah, 346 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 4: because we're equating work practice motivation with a reward. But 347 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,719 Speaker 4: what we have now trained our brain to seek is 348 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 4: the lazy reward, like the reward of just sitting on 349 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 4: the couch and consuming cons in consuming, and we're still 350 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,360 Speaker 4: getting that quick twitch dopamine, yeah, but it's not couched 351 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 4: with any kind of motivation. And then we wonder why 352 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,640 Speaker 4: we don't really want to do much? Right, So we're 353 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 4: retraining our brain. So that's really what that short form 354 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 4: content is. It's a way of hijacking our brain just 355 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 4: a lot easier. 356 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 1: So fascinating, How I mean, how do we begin to 357 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,439 Speaker 1: retrain our brain? I know I heard something that you 358 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: said was like how how important and nourishing boredom is 359 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: for us? Yes, yes, and that is now that is 360 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 1: something and especially like when I think back to early 361 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 1: experiences teaching meditation. That was something I had to really 362 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: like in the process, design some language around for people, 363 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:48,360 Speaker 1: like why being still in quiet can be just torturous? Right? 364 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 4: You know, right now, meditation and boredem are not the 365 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 4: same thing total because you're still actively engaging in something. 366 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 4: But you know, boredom is just very healthy. And I 367 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 4: almost like ask people to prescribe moments of boredom to 368 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:07,119 Speaker 4: themselves because it's really not something that we allow space 369 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 4: for anymore. 370 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 1: But that's really what does that look like? 371 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 4: Okay, so it could look like just looking out the 372 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 4: window for a minute and kind of zoning out. It's 373 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,159 Speaker 4: what we call being unproductive and zoning out and potentially 374 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 4: being lazy, but actually it's extremely nourishing. Now that's not 375 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 4: your excuse to just be lazy and not do anything, 376 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,639 Speaker 4: but it is. It can look like even three minutes 377 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,520 Speaker 4: or five minutes, and it is such a powerful reset 378 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 4: because our brain just is this like blank slate, right, 379 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,160 Speaker 4: And that's honestly where the most creative ideas in humanity 380 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,120 Speaker 4: have come from. Creativity is born within the boredom network 381 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 4: and the system that is required from the brain, so 382 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 4: the reset mode. So when we aren't you know, problem 383 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 4: solving effectively or having great ideas. I often say, try 384 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,200 Speaker 4: a bit of boredom, like try not schedule something, try 385 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,639 Speaker 4: to not do anything. It's almost like retraining the brain. 386 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 1: Now. 387 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 4: I think this also sort of feeds into a conversation 388 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 4: about taking breaks. I think a lot of people these 389 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 4: days say, well, you know, I focus for you know, 390 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 4: sixty minutes or whatever it is that I you know, 391 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 4: block out and then I just take a break. And 392 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,560 Speaker 4: that's fine, right, No, because every break is so different. 393 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 4: If you're just scrolling Netflix or you're just like looking 394 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 4: at cat videos on YouTube, that's not a break. Yeah, 395 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 4: it feels like a break. It's like I just want 396 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,640 Speaker 4: to I just want to veg out and just take 397 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,879 Speaker 4: a break. That's not a break. You're still consuming content. 398 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,200 Speaker 1: Right totally. 399 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 4: So your brain isn't actually reset much. It's so much 400 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 4: it's no wonder we're also tired, truly, Like it's such 401 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 4: an unreal amount of information all the time. 402 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I had read this thing a couple 403 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: of years ago, and I find myself like always kind 404 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 1: of speaking to it. But I'd love to ask you 405 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,639 Speaker 1: your thoughts on this. There was this like bit of 406 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 1: information that was kind of going around the internet that 407 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:12,840 Speaker 1: said we think more in a single day than like 408 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 1: our ancestors thought in a lifetime. And instantly I was like, 409 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,359 Speaker 1: that could absolutely be true. I could see how that 410 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,479 Speaker 1: is true because the variety of things you know about 411 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 1: is what you think about. Yes, that is true. 412 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 4: And also I think it it's also to do with 413 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 4: sort of the invisible and emotional labor that we carry 414 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,880 Speaker 4: daily in addition to our actual thoughts. 415 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: Right. 416 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:45,400 Speaker 4: So there's there's so many layers to being human these days, right, 417 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 4: And so you know, it's it's all of the tasks 418 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,880 Speaker 4: that we're thinking about that we don't actively think about maybe, 419 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 4: but that's sort of embedded in our subconscious like we 420 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,359 Speaker 4: sort of just it's like a knee jerk thing, or 421 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,880 Speaker 4: it's like the mental labor of getting a task done. 422 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 4: It's not just the task, like even scheduling a doctor's appointment, right, 423 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:10,400 Speaker 4: It's not just picking up the phone and scheduling the appointment, right, 424 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 4: It's like looking at your calendar trying to fit it in, 425 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 4: thinking about which doctor to go to, what do you need. 426 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 4: It's a million different things before you actually get to 427 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 4: the task, right, the task at hand. So I think 428 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 4: it's really important that you know, we've sort of complicated 429 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 4: living in a way, right, Yeah, because of and it's 430 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 4: not really our fall at all, it's just the way 431 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,160 Speaker 4: society operates. There's so many different calendars to look at 432 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:41,120 Speaker 4: these days, there's so many ways to connect and to communicate. 433 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,880 Speaker 4: That's a whole other conversation is the over communication, the DMS, 434 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 4: the text like the slack that this it's. 435 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 1: Just too much. 436 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 4: And so you know, we've gone from dating and partnerships 437 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 4: to having some sort of seduction and space away from 438 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,360 Speaker 4: each other, and now it's just this constant and looking 439 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,399 Speaker 4: at the three dots wondering like is he gonna respond? 440 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,680 Speaker 4: Like he goes that it right, So it's just that's 441 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 4: a whole other thing. But you know, I just it's 442 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 4: it's it's important to think about, you know, all of 443 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,199 Speaker 4: the things that we carry. So that's what when I 444 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:17,360 Speaker 4: say the mental labor, the emotional labor, the invisible labor 445 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,159 Speaker 4: of functioning, especially with being a woman, that's you know, 446 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 4: you touched upon that. But there's so much culturally that 447 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,399 Speaker 4: is expected of us that we've played into that because 448 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 4: we have to. And it's sort of just the role 449 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 4: that we've been placed into that's just really coming at 450 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 4: a very very high cost. And you know, for example, 451 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 4: I have so many clients that say, well, I'm just 452 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 4: I'm just good at multitasking, like I'm better than multitasking, 453 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 4: at multitasking than men. And the reality is, scientifically, no, 454 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 4: there is no gender difference. In fact, our brain cannot multitask. 455 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 4: We've just been told sort of this myth that we 456 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 4: should and can to get more done, and really, not 457 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 4: only are we getting less done because we lose about 458 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,719 Speaker 4: forty percent productivity when we try to multitask, and that 459 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,240 Speaker 4: twenty three to twenty five minutes of lost time every 460 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 4: time we task switch, but also the cost is us 461 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 4: our essence, like who we are as a human being? 462 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 4: What are we left with at the end of the day, 463 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 4: What are we left with? And so I really think 464 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 4: that yes, of course, as we age, hormones come into 465 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 4: play and all the brain fog and all of that 466 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 4: is real, But I also think that our brain fog 467 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 4: is exponentially higher because we've spent a lifetime trying to 468 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 4: keep up and biologically, neurologically we just can't and we shouldn't. 469 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 1: Wow, wow, wow, this is fascinating I'm so curious. You 470 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,520 Speaker 1: know what led you to this work? 471 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 4: Well, I mean it's really all of my clients and 472 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 4: the work I've done. It's just that so many people 473 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 4: are always normalizing burnout and dissociation and disconnection, and I 474 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,280 Speaker 4: wanted to get to the core of what it what 475 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 4: it really is about. And I refuse to believe it 476 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 4: was just the job, right, or the husband or the kids, 477 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 4: like it's got There's got to be something more. And 478 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 4: everything pointed to to our inability to sustain focus and 479 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 4: our and to own our attention. 480 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 1: So when you were first setting on your path because 481 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,280 Speaker 1: to to kind of I mean, this book is a 482 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,120 Speaker 1: facet of course of your work, but it's it's rooted 483 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 1: in you know, a very very long time in your 484 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: field and all that it takes to you know, become 485 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: a doctor. What what kind of sparked your desire to 486 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: be a behavioral scientist? Like what were you just kind 487 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,520 Speaker 1: of as like a a young girl, like watching humanity 488 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: and like why do people do what they do? Totally act? Really? 489 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 4: I was, Yeah, I was always so curious about why 490 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 4: two people would have the same life experience but react 491 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 4: totally differently. Yeah, And I was the kid at summer 492 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 4: camp where like if someone was crying in the bathroom 493 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 4: dealing with an issue that had nothing to do with me, 494 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 4: I was that kid that would kind of approach and 495 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,960 Speaker 4: try to help and sit with them and hold space. 496 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 4: And so I was just always that kind of person. 497 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:35,120 Speaker 4: And I was always very curious about what behavior was 498 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:39,760 Speaker 4: all about, what made people react a certain way, what 499 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 4: is regulation? Like, what is all of this? And does 500 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 4: how does happiness and joy and choices inform our outcomes? Yeah, 501 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 4: and so that's what I wanted to study and to 502 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 4: help guide. 503 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 1: I so deeply relate to that. I was that kind 504 00:31:56,120 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 1: of intuitive child looking at the adults around me. Yeah, 505 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: really fascinated by the way they made choices. Yes, and 506 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 1: then like the long term toll of those choices and yeah, 507 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,959 Speaker 1: so so interesting is something I would really love to 508 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: get in with you. We were talking a little bit 509 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 1: before the show about parenting, and I know you have 510 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 1: a thirteen year old and eleven year old and a 511 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 1: five year old. You were in the extremes right now, 512 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 1: but you also, you know, just kind of parenting through 513 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 1: your lens with all that you understand about how this 514 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 1: world is affecting us in our brains. How much does 515 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,120 Speaker 1: that drive your parenting? And like, what are some of 516 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 1: the kind of distinct pillars of your parenting. 517 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:49,040 Speaker 4: Oh, that's a great question. I mean, I it's my 518 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 4: training is everywhere, and I try really hard, you know, 519 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 4: not to wear that hat per se, but it's infused 520 00:32:56,080 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 4: into everything I do. And again, there's no perfection, right, Like, 521 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,720 Speaker 4: I'm right there with you, struggling to you know, regulate 522 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:11,400 Speaker 4: myself and knowing that my children borrow regulation. I'm trying 523 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 4: to be patient. I'm trying to repair when I need 524 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 4: to because I'm human. I'm trying to also not I'm 525 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 4: trying to model what I preach, which is not beyond 526 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,240 Speaker 4: devices as much, which is hard because my whole world 527 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,240 Speaker 4: exists on a device. Even my car needs my device. 528 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 4: I don't actually have a key because I have an 529 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 4: electric car. You know, It's like it's wild. I can 530 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,920 Speaker 4: get into my house with my phone. I don't even 531 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,680 Speaker 4: have a set of keys, Like it's the whole thing. 532 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:36,360 Speaker 4: It's crazy. 533 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 1: I need my phone to turn on my fans, like 534 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 1: it's insane. Don't need another app? 535 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 4: Yes, totally, And so I look at that and it's 536 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 4: it's hard. I think it's really hard to be a 537 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 4: kid these days too, and I'm seeing this more and more. 538 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 4: I mean, it's really hard to parent in the device age, 539 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 4: but it's also hard to be a kid. I see 540 00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 4: this with my thirteen year old, and we're a very 541 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 4: sort of low device now device family, given my training 542 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 4: and my work with common sense media and all the things. 543 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 4: But now that he's in middle school, my eldest, I 544 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 4: see how pervasive device usage is and how these kids 545 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 4: communicate only mostly on devices, and it's hard. It's hard 546 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 4: to keep stay true to what you know is right, 547 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:36,799 Speaker 4: but be so sort of such an outlier. And I'm 548 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:40,040 Speaker 4: so grateful that phones are not, as you know, have 549 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:43,279 Speaker 4: been mostly Most schools have taken away phones, which is great, 550 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 4: but they've been replaced now by computers. And the kids 551 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 4: are these on these computers now, and they can still 552 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,399 Speaker 4: text through their computer and the game on the it's 553 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 4: just a whole thing. And I see how much it 554 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:59,360 Speaker 4: affects their inability to connect and cultivate friendships more easily. 555 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 4: These just play outside, right, and now that doesn't really 556 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 4: exist anymore. We have like living room kids. Not me 557 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 4: per se, but you know, generally, and it's just harder 558 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 4: it's harder to advise, it's harder to lead. But I 559 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 4: always say I do a lot of work with schools 560 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:20,239 Speaker 4: and actually universities too, and with parents, and there's so 561 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,760 Speaker 4: many things you can say as a parent, but really, 562 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 4: as we know, it's so much about what you do. 563 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 4: And I think we're all going to make mistakes. We're 564 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:29,879 Speaker 4: all going to stare at our phones when our kid 565 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,480 Speaker 4: is trying to talk to us sometimes and be so 566 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 4: engrossed in whatever it is that we don't don't even 567 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,040 Speaker 4: hear them. I get that that's just the reality of 568 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:41,600 Speaker 4: being human these days. It's important to call that out, like, yeah, 569 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 4: make mistakes, but then say, hey, you know what, I'm 570 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:48,320 Speaker 4: so sorry. I just I realized that I was stuck 571 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 4: in this work email, and I really what you have 572 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 4: to say is so important. I'm gonna put that down 573 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,279 Speaker 4: right now. Or you can say, you know what, I 574 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,759 Speaker 4: really have to address this. What you have to say 575 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,239 Speaker 4: is important. I'm gonna come back to you in five 576 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 4: to ten whatever it is minutes. Or you can say, hey, 577 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,880 Speaker 4: I'm just staring at a recipe. I don't want you 578 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 4: to think I'm not listening, but I need to look 579 00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 4: at this right now. Because I'm putting something in the oven, 580 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 4: whatever it is, but articulate it because you're essentially walking 581 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 4: them through your process, which is going to help their 582 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,799 Speaker 4: process because they're trying to They're looking at you trying 583 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,160 Speaker 4: to figure out, like how am I going to function 584 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 4: in this world? 585 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,520 Speaker 1: Like how do I figure this out? And they're probably 586 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,279 Speaker 1: looking at you on your phone like what are you 587 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,520 Speaker 1: doing on there? Like what is it? 588 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,840 Speaker 4: What is more important than me? 589 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,640 Speaker 1: Yeah? What's more important than me? 590 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:35,320 Speaker 4: And they know cognitively that life like that the devices 591 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 4: are required in life, they do know that, but intrinsically 592 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,920 Speaker 4: in their self worth, their brain and their body can't 593 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:44,840 Speaker 4: make that distinction. 594 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 595 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,239 Speaker 4: So what our kids are growing up with and why 596 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:52,359 Speaker 4: I think partly not wholly, but partly anxieties is such 597 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,080 Speaker 4: an all time high with our youth is that there's 598 00:36:55,239 --> 00:37:01,400 Speaker 4: just this like this pervasive friction and this disc with 599 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 4: knowing that I'm more I'm not more important than whatever 600 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,760 Speaker 4: is going on on that bone. Yeah, and my parent 601 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 4: isn't present in my life in that same way that 602 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 4: our parents used to be. And I do want to 603 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,240 Speaker 4: make sure that people understand that it's not about giving 604 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:19,960 Speaker 4: your full time and attention your kids all the time. 605 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,919 Speaker 4: That's super unhealthy too, But it's about really about sort 606 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:27,080 Speaker 4: of the quality of your interactions and the attention with 607 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:31,440 Speaker 4: which you give to them in those moments. There was 608 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,520 Speaker 4: a really interesting study that showed that it's not the 609 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,480 Speaker 4: amount of time that we spend with our kids that 610 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:40,279 Speaker 4: cultivates success and joy for them. It's really just with 611 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,719 Speaker 4: that those attentive moments. It's it's actually a very short 612 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 4: amount of time that makes imprints, yeah, and little births 613 00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:51,279 Speaker 4: of memory, core memories, and just just being being in 614 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 4: that moment whatever it is you're doing with them is 615 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,839 Speaker 4: so much more impactful than spending a whole day with 616 00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,920 Speaker 4: them distracted. Yeah, you know, So don't feel guilty if 617 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,439 Speaker 4: you're like out or working or doing whatever. They don't 618 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,759 Speaker 4: actually need so much of you. They just need you 619 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 4: when you're there. 620 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:09,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 621 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah. 622 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,200 Speaker 4: And let your kids be bored, yes, oh my gosh, don't. 623 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 1: Don't. 624 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,439 Speaker 4: And that's so hard as they get older too, because 625 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,399 Speaker 4: they have so many interests they want to pursue things, 626 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:22,640 Speaker 4: which is great. So again lots of conversations about what 627 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 4: that looks like, how do we build in downtime? So 628 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,200 Speaker 4: now it's the reverse conversation. It's not you know, how 629 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,120 Speaker 4: do we add more activities? It's like, how do we 630 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 4: add in downtime? How do we add in boredom? 631 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 2: Mom? 632 00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,160 Speaker 4: What do I do now? I don't know. 633 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:39,440 Speaker 1: I know. 634 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 4: What I do know is that you're creative enough to 635 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 4: figure it out. 636 00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, yeah, I think long term, that's going 637 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,680 Speaker 1: to be the real luxury that we get to give 638 00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:53,239 Speaker 1: our kids by teaching them these very human skills, like 639 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,040 Speaker 1: they're gonna have to Obviously they're going to be in 640 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,120 Speaker 1: society as adults, they'll catch up on whatever the things are. 641 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 1: But like that is the luxury, like being able to 642 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,760 Speaker 1: give your kids space to be bored. 643 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,160 Speaker 4: You know, if you can build in those moments, that's 644 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:15,120 Speaker 4: where their creative freedom will really just thrive. And it 645 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:19,240 Speaker 4: is literally going to become a superpower to be able 646 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:23,840 Speaker 4: to sustain eye contact. I mean I'm talking like a 647 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:28,240 Speaker 4: basic human connection. If your kid can master that, now, 648 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,239 Speaker 4: that's going to become their superpower because it's going to 649 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 4: be so rare, it's going to be so rich. I 650 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,320 Speaker 4: already see it. They don't know how to really talk. 651 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:41,160 Speaker 4: It's just wild, and you know you can have I've 652 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 4: worked with someone who was a dean at Stanford, and 653 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,960 Speaker 4: I remember her telling me, you know, these kids are 654 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:54,520 Speaker 4: so accomplished, they're extraordinary humans. They are so inempt and 655 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:59,359 Speaker 4: that broke my heart. Wow, because they just don't know 656 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 4: how to do fundamental human things right and they just 657 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,560 Speaker 4: want their parents to fix things. And it's in the 658 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:12,319 Speaker 4: best intentions. We love our kids, but we really need 659 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:17,480 Speaker 4: to like gift them the space to feel challenged and 660 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 4: work through it on their own. 661 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 1: Give your kids wisdom, guide them, teach them things, talk 662 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,960 Speaker 1: to them, give them an understanding of how to be 663 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,239 Speaker 1: human in the world and move in the world with 664 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:32,400 Speaker 1: other people. 665 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,160 Speaker 4: And the space to do that right, because it's one 666 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,080 Speaker 4: thing to like we can talk a lot and we 667 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 4: can guide them certainly, but if we don't give them 668 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 4: the space to practice, they're never going to learn. 669 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:49,640 Speaker 1: And as parents, like that is I mean, we signed 670 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,279 Speaker 1: up for that, and it does take intentional time to 671 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,719 Speaker 1: do that. It does take a little bit of like 672 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,720 Speaker 1: practicing with your own self, working with your own nervous 673 00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 1: system regulation and emotional regulation. But like you know, you 674 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,040 Speaker 1: you have to like really witness your kids, like you 675 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 1: have to, as you know you said, it's like there 676 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,120 Speaker 1: is guidance, and then there's also that space of like 677 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,239 Speaker 1: deep observation and witnessing of your kids. 678 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 4: And witnessing and allowing them to feel friction right and 679 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,200 Speaker 4: to Yeah, but it starts with us. It starts starts 680 00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,919 Speaker 4: with us. It starts and ends with us. So it's 681 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 4: like it's really important that you put in the work 682 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,560 Speaker 4: to cultivate your attention and your focus and give them 683 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 4: that space to do the same. 684 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's beautiful, so powerful and important deeply. Well, well, 685 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,040 Speaker 1: before we end the episode, I always offer some space 686 00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,799 Speaker 1: for our experts to give what I like to call 687 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: soul work, So is something to integrate everything that we've 688 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:02,320 Speaker 1: heard practice a thoughts star gosh, I think. 689 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 4: You know. I always say that people should audit their 690 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,080 Speaker 4: day and figure out what is your biggest sort of 691 00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 4: a distractor and start with that. So it doesn't have 692 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,040 Speaker 4: to feel overwhelming that all of a sudden you have 693 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:18,960 Speaker 4: to let go of all these things or feel so 694 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,320 Speaker 4: uncomfortable or you know, change a million habits at once. 695 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,440 Speaker 4: Just start with one. What is your biggest distractor? If 696 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,279 Speaker 4: it's your phone, if it's your notifications, Like, what is 697 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,440 Speaker 4: it about the phone. It can't just be the phone. 698 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,759 Speaker 4: But it's like something about the phone. What are you 699 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,520 Speaker 4: trying to escape when you're on the phone, when you 700 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,040 Speaker 4: pick up that phone, what are you trying to distract 701 00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:43,000 Speaker 4: yourself from? And so really try to do some deeper 702 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,759 Speaker 4: work to peel those layers, because it's not just the 703 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,200 Speaker 4: phone that's the issue. It's really something that we're trying 704 00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:54,520 Speaker 4: to escape, And so start there and troubleshoot that. And 705 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,480 Speaker 4: if it's if it's the phone that's the issue, or 706 00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:00,200 Speaker 4: the pickup or whatever, it's so much harder for us 707 00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,400 Speaker 4: to get distracted when we physically make it harder for 708 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,879 Speaker 4: ourselves to grab the phone. So leave it in another room. 709 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:11,920 Speaker 4: My biggest like quick quick thing is don't wake up 710 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,640 Speaker 4: with your phone, Like just don't look at your phone 711 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,480 Speaker 4: even five minutes. Yeah, start with five minutes, start with 712 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,680 Speaker 4: one minute. If it's like super super hard for you, right, 713 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:21,640 Speaker 4: And yes, you can buy an alarm clock. You don't 714 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,719 Speaker 4: need your phone for that, right. So, unless you have 715 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 4: babies where it's required to stare at your phone to 716 00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:28,880 Speaker 4: look at the baby monitor, leave the phone in another room, 717 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,560 Speaker 4: don't pick it up right when you wake up. You 718 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:36,040 Speaker 4: will be astounded by how transformational just that one thing 719 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:37,000 Speaker 4: is for your life. 720 00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:42,920 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, perfect. Yes, yeah, that is a powerful tool. 721 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,200 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us on the show 722 00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,640 Speaker 1: to this was absolutely fascinating. Your new book is available 723 00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:52,759 Speaker 1: everywhere right now, everyone go get it Finding Focus, own 724 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:57,319 Speaker 1: your attention and the age of Distraction and all the 725 00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:01,440 Speaker 1: links will be linked below. But how can everyone connect 726 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:01,680 Speaker 1: with you? 727 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:06,080 Speaker 4: My website Doctorslana dot com, drz l Ana dot com, 728 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:10,120 Speaker 4: tons of free resources and my instagram you'll feel keep 729 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:11,920 Speaker 4: up with me and everywhere I go and what I. 730 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,560 Speaker 1: Do amazing everything linked in the show notes of this episode. 731 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:16,839 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being here. 732 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,279 Speaker 4: Thank you for having me. This is wonderful. 733 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:29,960 Speaker 1: Back next week now, Misdayday. The content presented on Deeply 734 00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:34,480 Speaker 1: Wells serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should 735 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:38,440 Speaker 1: not be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental 736 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:43,280 Speaker 1: health guidance and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. 737 00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,719 Speaker 1: As always, it is advisable to consult with your healthcare 738 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:51,520 Speaker 1: provider or health team for any specific concerns or questions 739 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,360 Speaker 1: that you may have. Connect with me on social at 740 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,480 Speaker 1: Debbie Brown that's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go 741 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,840 Speaker 1: to my website Debbie Brown and if you're listening to 742 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:06,000 Speaker 1: the show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget, Please rate, review, 743 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:09,960 Speaker 1: and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply 744 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:13,240 Speaker 1: Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network. 745 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:18,280 Speaker 1: It's produced by Jacquess Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown. 746 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,959 Speaker 1: The Beautiful Soundbath You heard That's by Jarrelyn Glass from 747 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:28,280 Speaker 1: Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio 748 00:45:28,320 --> 00:46:07,080 Speaker 1: app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.