Speaker 1: Heybody, Oh my goodness, what's up? Everybody?
Speaker 2: Welcome to adult This is Jordan Carlos and I am
Speaker 2: miss Shelbyte and you know what the fuck it is.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is your first episode, but
Speaker 2: hopefully it's not your motherfucking last.
Speaker 1: Sorry I'm saying motherfucking so much, but it is what
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 3: Mother Wow, coming in hot, hot.
Speaker 1: Coming in really hot.
Speaker 2: You know what, I realized people cuss less when they
Speaker 2: have kids, But for me, like, I don't want to
Speaker 2: cuss in front of them all the time because let's
Speaker 2: be honest, But when they're at school, I'm like Andrew
Speaker 2: Dice Clay bitch, like I have to.
Speaker 1: Get it out.
Speaker 3: It's smoking cigarettes and.
Speaker 1: Little mass Muffett.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's like how I'm living my life because
Speaker 2: you know, I like purposely put on.
Speaker 1: Gangster rab when I go pick them.
Speaker 2: Up because I have I go to sleep with Mowana suck.
Speaker 1: In my head. Wait a minute, I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2: Way o, way, like it is not okay, Coco Melon Incanto, Luca,
Speaker 2: Paul Patrol, PJ Max.
Speaker 1: Wait, Like what I have this children's.
Speaker 2: I'm I have children's music stuck in my head and
Speaker 2: nobody tells you this shit about parenting, like raising a kid, sure,
Speaker 2: trying to have them not be an asshole, Okay, but
Speaker 2: the terrible children's music in your mind, Like how does
Speaker 2: Lynn Manuel Miranda ever sleep?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Does he can we check in on him? Is he okay?
Speaker 4: No, he's out there rhyming and freestyling in his own way.
Speaker 4: I did then raps, but I feel like I'm imagining
Speaker 4: you pulling up in your mini van to pop smoke,
Speaker 4: just like bumping pop smoke in the back of the car.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. It's a lot of Tupac. It's
Speaker 2: a lot of Biggie. When I roll up to the daycare, Wow,
Speaker 2: it was all a dream. Yeah, yeah so you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I roll up, I'm like kicking the door, wave in
Speaker 2: the full fole.
Speaker 1: Hi, did they eat? Know their meatballs today?
Speaker 2: Say bye? And then it's head, shoulders, seas and toast.
Speaker 2: Like don't you feel like you're living a double life
Speaker 2: as a parent.
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 4: I mean, but I'm also I do admit I will
Speaker 4: play jay z or like tryp call quest certain rap
Speaker 4: I do play in their presence.
Speaker 1: Interesting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like let them know, you know, and then
Speaker 4: they'll be like, oh, those are grown up boards.
Speaker 3: We can't say them.
Speaker 1: And what age did you start playing the hip hop?
Speaker 1: Because I'm just.
Speaker 2: Like Blue Ivy's had a Beyonce concert, hitting all the moves?
Speaker 5: What her?
Speaker 1: When do we do it? We just do it?
Speaker 3: Michelle?
Speaker 4: For the record, you said, at what age do I
Speaker 4: start playing the hip hop? We are officially old as fuck?
Speaker 4: What the the hip hop?
Speaker 2: It's a limited amount they thought that you could play
Speaker 2: in front of your kids.
Speaker 1: Why do you start doing it?
Speaker 4: I started probably around when she was like when Izzy
Speaker 4: was probably around five, you know, just like playing things
Speaker 4: old school, like ninety stuff that she could kind of
Speaker 4: get into some maybe some stuff would go over her head,
Speaker 4: you know, like some Arrested Development or trap call Quest,
Speaker 4: you know, just like nineties mixes like that. Now, yeah,
Speaker 4: Biggie is something a little bit different. I would play
Speaker 4: like Hypnotize Big Papa, where she doesn't understand what he's saying.
Speaker 4: That's always like fun. If they don't understand what they're saying,
Speaker 4: then it's cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they like the beat, the rhythm, the rhyme. Yeah
Speaker 2: that was me growing up. Yeah, going to Jamaica every summer.
Speaker 2: I did not know what reggae lyrics meant I was
Speaker 2: like wax out her belly, ow like not knowing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's yuck, but you know, I think there is something
Speaker 2: like if you don't know what it means. But also
Speaker 2: you know, this is an education for the kids too,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. They're gonna hear it on
Speaker 2: the school yard and shit.
Speaker 4: You could never go wrong though, in the car with
Speaker 4: the first name artists Stevie, Aretha, Diana, Beyonce. If you
Speaker 4: take it back to Motown or you listen to Beyonce,
Speaker 4: then it's like those songs you can pretty much hear
Speaker 4: without any having to love like, uh that that's a
Speaker 4: little too racy for them, you know, I mean if
Speaker 4: you're playing like the Temps, the Tops, things like.
Speaker 1: That, the Temps, the Tops, the Diana.
Speaker 3: Of it all.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, my mom used to play the Big Chill
Speaker 4: soundtrack when I was a kid. She would play the
Speaker 4: Big Chill soundtrack and that's how I yeah, Big Chill.
Speaker 4: Never saw the movie, but the soundtrack was thriving out here.
Speaker 1: Like childhood everybody can.
Speaker 2: I say, not to be a creeper, but I saw
Speaker 2: a video that your sister posted of your parents dancing
Speaker 2: and it so reminded me of my parents dancing, like
Speaker 2: there's something so beautiful that doesn't happen anymore, where you
Speaker 2: just like fall into each other's bodies, you know, yes,
Speaker 2: your arms and you just melt into one person and
Speaker 2: it's your person, and you've been dancing this two step
Speaker 2: with this person for decades, and oh my goodness, I
Speaker 2: just love to see it.
Speaker 1: I just love to see it.
Speaker 2: I love to see happy couples because I think we
Speaker 2: have been so And this is also important used to
Speaker 2: saying you don't have to be with someone if you're
Speaker 2: not happy. They had like two happy homestead of one
Speaker 2: unhappy home. But relationships is a lot of work. And
Speaker 2: you know, the single folks out there, the people question,
Speaker 2: the people like living with somebody respect to all that shit.
Speaker 1: But I know what I know now as a.
Speaker 2: Married person, like deep in twelve years, and it's hard.
Speaker 2: It's really really motherfucking hard. So when you see someone
Speaker 2: like your parents, what forty years later, fifty.
Speaker 4: Two years married, and I think they like two years married,
Speaker 4: three or four years dating, so like they've yeah, they've
Speaker 4: been together so long. But I do feel that they.
Speaker 1: To jump into each other's arms.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, gold, I mean, but you know, the getting
Speaker 3: there is hard.
Speaker 4: The I remember when I was a kid, there were
Speaker 4: times when it was just like it wasn't tumultuous, but
Speaker 4: there was definitely a lot of like stress in the
Speaker 4: house with three black children in Texas, and they were
Speaker 4: very much about the black excellence.
Speaker 3: Of it all.
Speaker 4: And I think that they've really mellowed out part of me.
Speaker 4: When I watched the video, I was like, who are
Speaker 4: these people?
Speaker 5: But you know, you guys are out the house.
Speaker 1: They don't have to worry about you anymore.
Speaker 3: They don't have to worry anymore.
Speaker 4: They've definitely mellowed and gone back to who they were before,
Speaker 4: they were before they had kids, you know, and they've
Speaker 4: entered that river again. And it's really it's really beautiful
Speaker 4: to watch because they really enjoy their own company, they
Speaker 4: truly do, and they really love each other and they're
Speaker 4: in love and that's a really beautiful thing. And they're
Speaker 4: they're just each other's bestie. Now does that that they
Speaker 4: spend they're that couple though on a plane that's like,
Speaker 4: you know, like the ones that are just like can
Speaker 4: we I'm sorry, can we sit together? Because the tickets
Speaker 4: we get and you're just like just when you gotten comfortable, right,
Speaker 4: So yeah, it's actually that's them because a lot of
Speaker 4: couples at that age are just like, You're like, do
Speaker 4: you want to sit together? And they're like, nah, all right,
Speaker 4: we've been together a lot. This is fine, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: just together.
Speaker 1: That's so cute.
Speaker 4: It's really cute. I loved it. They were just in
Speaker 4: the Bahamas. They've been there like this past weekend and
Speaker 4: just having a great time with friends, and they tried
Speaker 4: to have their fiftieth wedding anniversary there but because of
Speaker 4: COVID they couldn't, so they went back and we're just
Speaker 4: having this a wonderful weekend and you know, it's it's
Speaker 4: great to see.
Speaker 2: This is like every conversation sometimes when people are like
Speaker 2: we were going to but because of COVID, we couldn't,
Speaker 2: and so like shut out to everybody who was meant
Speaker 2: to celebrate, something was meant to graduate, something was meant
Speaker 2: to go somewhere, just was meant to but because of COVID,
Speaker 2: you couldn't up And what the fuck?
Speaker 4: Thanks a lot, Fauci, I mean not no, no, I know,
Speaker 4: I congratulations on your retirement.
Speaker 3: You know, people are saying, like.
Speaker 1: Talk about retirement.
Speaker 2: Honey, him and his wife needs to go take a
Speaker 2: whole ass break.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean for real, for real, they need to
Speaker 3: go to the Bahamas. Yes, get out there.
Speaker 1: And do it. I'm just saying, like, it's a couple
Speaker 1: of things.
Speaker 2: It's nice to hear that your parents did a good
Speaker 2: job raising them children, and ken relax with no ailments
Speaker 2: because you know, the minute you stopped working, something happens.
Speaker 3: That happens to right, he did pretty damn well. I mean, yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: pretty damn well.
Speaker 2: It's the only reason why I'm squatting like every other
Speaker 2: day squats my exercise, squatting with some weights. Oh that's fun, right,
Speaker 2: jump rope.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to jump rope. I'm trying to.
Speaker 4: Well, you got double the trouble, like you're trying to
Speaker 4: catch up with two three year olds that are just
Speaker 4: full of energy with batteries in their backs, just like
Speaker 4: Triple A's going zooming.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's insane, it's insane. Thank God for you, y'all,
Speaker 2: And thank god for updated playgrounds. I mean, we got
Speaker 2: the Tetnis shots, but thank god for updated playground.
Speaker 1: Come through inc that, honey.
Speaker 4: I feel like this, I feel like they're a testament
Speaker 4: to the fact that they definitely hung in there and
Speaker 4: wanted to be in this marriage sometimes. Yeah, even when
Speaker 4: the chips were down and things look bleak, you know,
Speaker 4: because you're a kid and you observe, Yeah, and you
Speaker 4: can tell just from like whatever energy and stuff like
Speaker 4: that that maybe things aren't right right now, you know,
Speaker 4: and maybe this is a good patcher that was a
Speaker 4: bad patches. I never wanted to get in their business,
Speaker 4: but it was like I was in the house. I
Speaker 4: could observe, and I remember them having it out sometimes,
Speaker 4: but like they always argued towards something, and they're reaping
Speaker 4: what they sewed. It's a really beautiful thing and they
Speaker 4: actually are having what people dream of golden years, you know.
Speaker 2: And we love to motherfucker see it because that's goals.
Speaker 2: It's not just a hashtag.
Speaker 3: Nah, it's crazy. I'm a dad can dance. They both can.
Speaker 2: It's attractive when someone can dance. You don't have to sing,
Speaker 2: but at least carry a fucking beat. It's like, God,
Speaker 2: I see these like gorgeous bitches on their wedding days
Speaker 2: just trying to like fucking carry this.
Speaker 1: Dumb dude. I'm like, you better be.
Speaker 2: Rich as fuck or just you better just have a
Speaker 2: huge orgasm every time you sit on it, because why
Speaker 2: the fuck would you put up with this? Anyways, very
Speaker 2: excited to get to our guest Jordan who on that note.
Speaker 1: He's so great. He's funny.
Speaker 2: He's a comedian, he's a writer, he's a producer, he's
Speaker 2: a husband and a father. Like what can't he do?
Speaker 2: He better be paying his taxes on time. I'm just
Speaker 2: kidding everyone, please give it up? How are we gonna
Speaker 2: give it up? So you crazy?
Speaker 1: Everyone?
Speaker 3: Get out of your seat, Get on your feet.
Speaker 1: What the only legs came?
Speaker 3: Get on your feet right now in the drive through?
Speaker 3: Come on, there is what's up?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 1: He's in the building.
Speaker 2: Look at you.
Speaker 1: Come on, light skinned Benjamin Button agent backwards, Come on?
Speaker 1: Come on?
Speaker 3: Was I horribly ate when you met me?
Speaker 2: We love this haircut. It is giving like BT awards.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna sing my album from nineteen ninety two, it's
Speaker 2: the one song it was like. It's giving Puerto Rican
Speaker 2: father of six that just got out of prison, who
Speaker 2: got a new job, rollless cigars?
Speaker 3: Okay, all right? Am I good to the babies? And
Speaker 3: I at least am I coming back?
Speaker 1: They loved They loved you more than moms.
Speaker 3: Oh ship, damn, this is beautiful. What a welcome didn't you?
Speaker 1: What? What is that? Watches that movado?
Speaker 3: Let me know, that's the cheap version of a rich
Speaker 3: man's thing.
Speaker 1: Come on, let me get this chilled out. Let's say,
Speaker 1: let's doubt I love it?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 1: Wait can we talk? Can we just talk about Canada
Speaker 1: for two point two? Oh?
Speaker 5: Sure, yes, that we we should do that. Do you
Speaker 5: want to do you want to explain to your listeners?
Speaker 5: What what the context of Canada?
Speaker 3: Yeah? What is Canada?
Speaker 2: I feel like I've definitely I know you through the
Speaker 2: stand up scene.
Speaker 1: But then we both booked a pilot for seth Rogen.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was gonna be a huge thing. I think, uh,
Speaker 5: I think we both felt like this is the one. Yeah.
Speaker 2: We were like, oh plus like everybody black audition for
Speaker 2: it and we got it. We're like, oh fuck book blessed,
Speaker 2: like highly favorite. All this got like an international fucking
Speaker 2: visit of working Vancouver because that's where his.
Speaker 1: Production company is, and we're like, this is going to
Speaker 1: be amazing.
Speaker 2: Damon, Wayne's junior played your best friend slash my boyfriend
Speaker 2: in it?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 1: And we get to Vancouver. How long were we in
Speaker 1: Vancouver for almost a month?
Speaker 5: I think because Seth and Evan believe in rehearsals, which
Speaker 5: is a rare thing for pilots. But they're like, yo,
Speaker 5: we're gonna do two weeks of rehearsal on location so
Speaker 5: that y'all can get comfortable with the shit, so that
Speaker 5: there's no chance that this pilot will not become a series.
Speaker 5: And boy, oh boy, did it not become a series?
Speaker 3: Wait, no, I remember this. What was the pilot exactly? Though?
Speaker 5: It was this show called Singularity, which rings about the
Speaker 5: survivors of a human apocalypse living in like this engineered
Speaker 5: bubble run by technology, and the technology starts to turn
Speaker 5: on them and society as a whole. It was very funny.
Speaker 5: It was written by this dude, Sonny Lee, who's amazing.
Speaker 5: It had all the parts and pieces and Michelle, you know,
Speaker 5: just goddamn hilarious and all of it and just never happened.
Speaker 3: FX said, no, thank you.
Speaker 1: I think there was a lot of cooks in the kitchen.
Speaker 2: I think Seth and Evan have uh and Sonny they
Speaker 2: had a dope ass vision and I think FX and
Speaker 2: this happens all the time they wanted it more.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck they wanted more of, but.
Speaker 2: You know, even when we were filming it, I was like,
Speaker 2: this feels like it's gonna be good. It was futuristic.
Speaker 2: We had weird sneakers on. I was like, this might
Speaker 2: be something. But one of my favorite moments with you,
Speaker 2: I mean there was, there was a few. None of
Speaker 2: them was when we were filming.
Speaker 3: Bomb throughout the filming.
Speaker 5: I'm a fun hang but boy did I bomb throughout
Speaker 5: the filming.
Speaker 1: No, you didn't.
Speaker 2: I like to act like work as vacation, so I
Speaker 2: like to spend money and have fun.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: I'm basically spending the money that I'm making. Anyways, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm away from my family, Like, fuck it, let's just
Speaker 2: have this good wine.
Speaker 1: I remember I was eating with you, Damit that Purdue
Speaker 1: was done.
Speaker 2: I got like, I have this video of you and
Speaker 2: Damon and like this really expensive bottle of wine that
Speaker 2: I got.
Speaker 3: Yes, I do remember. It came in a trough of
Speaker 3: some kind.
Speaker 2: It was like it looked like a like a cobra,
Speaker 2: like a snake.
Speaker 3: God, yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: It was a show and I was like, why are
Speaker 2: we doing this? And then like seafood towers. I left
Speaker 2: like with gout. I felt like a fat king.
Speaker 5: That's what I remember most is that Michelle, I think
Speaker 5: every other day would go back to the same restaurant
Speaker 5: order a new seafood tower. And it reached a point where,
Speaker 5: like because I think they had multiple seafood tower options,
Speaker 5: where she had gone down the entire like seafood tower menu,
Speaker 5: and they kept getting more extravagant every time.
Speaker 3: Yea, she returned. I didn't know you were that into seafood, Michelle.
Speaker 2: I'm into a moment, Honey, I'm into a moment, you know,
Speaker 2: make it make sense. I'm in Vancouver. Let me see
Speaker 2: like I'm in a different part of the ocean. Let's
Speaker 2: see what it tastes like. That's what I'm into.
Speaker 4: Like, not that into octopus, but if you stack it
Speaker 4: vertically and maybe throwing some scallops, is that you It.
Speaker 2: Was muscles, oysters, it was tushimi, It was all types
Speaker 2: of stay.
Speaker 1: It was a different part of a lobster.
Speaker 5: Listen, they never didn't show up for the seafood tower,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, Like they showed up and
Speaker 5: showed out when it came to the seafood tower.
Speaker 2: Wow, were you there that night we tried to get
Speaker 2: into the strip club.
Speaker 5: I was yeah, we were all very drunk and running
Speaker 5: the streets of Vancouver. I was pretty blackout and then
Speaker 5: we were Yes, you were the most drunk I think
Speaker 5: of everybody.
Speaker 3: And then we tried to go to the strip club
Speaker 3: and then they reject this. Didn't they tell us like, no,
Speaker 3: you can't. They did, you can't strip club here?
Speaker 2: I mean they probably saw me and they were like,
Speaker 2: take it away, she can't.
Speaker 4: How did you get rejected from a strip club in Vancouver?
Speaker 4: That's what what haped? No did y'all scream race?
Speaker 3: I know? I will.
Speaker 1: Al Sharpton showed up the next day.
Speaker 4: It was but lex and you have a whole episode
Speaker 4: on bust Down called Beaige Rage. Your Beaige rage didn't
Speaker 4: come through brou No.
Speaker 5: I don't think I was leading the charge in the
Speaker 5: strip club of it all.
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I'll go home. I don't know,
Speaker 3: I don't gotta be here. This is crazy beige rage.
Speaker 1: That's my favorite. Do you get into fights? Have you
Speaker 1: gotten into fights? Grown up?
Speaker 3: I wasn't a big fighter.
Speaker 5: I am a I throw tantrums when people upset me
Speaker 5: maybe more than I like throw fists and shit.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I'm a I'll store them off, I'll knock over a glass.
Speaker 3: I'm a piece of shit.
Speaker 5: But I don't I'm not punching anybody in the face necessarily.
Speaker 3: That's not my style. You'll make a display. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: more of a how dare you? Sir? Is anyone else
Speaker 3: seeing this?
Speaker 1: Are you just gonna watch what's happening to me?
Speaker 3: Your character? Man?
Speaker 4: It just makes me laugh so hard because how far
Speaker 4: away are you from that character?
Speaker 5: I want to believe I'm very far from that person,
Speaker 5: but I don't know that. You know, the goal when
Speaker 5: the four of us wrote that show was really to
Speaker 5: write the parts of each other that we hate the
Speaker 5: most and activate them. So it really was making fun
Speaker 5: of each other and then and then creating character from that.
Speaker 5: And so it's you know, I am annoying, and my
Speaker 5: friends amplified that as much as a because.
Speaker 3: You're not, Like, you're not annoying? Man, all right, you're annoying.
Speaker 3: You'll get You'll get in. See.
Speaker 4: I gotta spend more time with you, bro, Like every
Speaker 4: time we hang out. It's a fun hang I gotta
Speaker 4: see you on a Wednesday at like eleven am or
Speaker 4: something like that.
Speaker 3: And I'm just being, oh, yeah, you'll get it.
Speaker 2: That's what I really don't remember. Hanging one on one
Speaker 2: with you at Vancouver. I felt like there was always
Speaker 2: a lot of people and door food. Yeah, I felt
Speaker 2: like it was a lot of food.
Speaker 5: We had a lot of meals together, we did it
Speaker 5: was a great time, though.
Speaker 3: I really that was a fun, fun shoot.
Speaker 2: Are you finding fun in other projects like that? Like,
Speaker 2: are you just like this, this is what I have
Speaker 2: to do, but also let's make it motherfucking fun.
Speaker 5: I have, but not to the same that one, to
Speaker 5: your point, felt like an adventure in a way that
Speaker 5: I don't think I've ever adventured.
Speaker 3: Again.
Speaker 5: I've had fun on sets, I've done shit with coworkers
Speaker 5: and ship, but never have I felt like, oh, man,
Speaker 5: like every day we wake up and we'll find a
Speaker 5: new part of a city and just walk around and
Speaker 5: then eat shrimps.
Speaker 3: And you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was like that was like a that was
Speaker 1: like a summer camp.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it was one hundred summer camp.
Speaker 5: I think the first night we got there, seth made
Speaker 5: us go see get Out together and we just all
Speaker 5: sat in a in a theater watching Get Out.
Speaker 2: I forgot that, you know why, because I smoked Seth's blunt.
Speaker 3: That's right, yes, everybody was.
Speaker 1: I wish I was better at smoking weed.
Speaker 3: You smoked Seth Brogan's blunt. Yo. I meant start that
Speaker 3: rumor too.
Speaker 2: I'm got to start that rumor. Michelle Buteaux smokes Seth
Speaker 2: Rogan's blunt. Yeah, start that motherfucking ruma.
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 2: I sucked it too. I was like, oh, it's a
Speaker 2: little wet at the tip. I'm so sorry. Sorry, Seth,
Speaker 2: I'm the one.
Speaker 1: Sorry everyone.
Speaker 5: I will say that they are high pretty much the
Speaker 5: entire time.
Speaker 1: They wake up and productive as fuck. I was very impressive.
Speaker 3: It was super impressive because you know, we'd have.
Speaker 5: Like four thirty five am like call times and show
Speaker 5: up and those dudes are literally just like waking and
Speaker 5: baking and also like planning out shots and you just
Speaker 5: watch them effectively get a job.
Speaker 1: Done better than most people that aren't high.
Speaker 2: It was inspiring, really and truly, I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: not living life properly. I think at one point, you know,
Speaker 2: you have snacks on set, like in America, you'll get
Speaker 2: like a hot dog or like a turkey burger and
Speaker 2: they think they're being healthy. We had like oysters and poutine.
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: That was wild.
Speaker 2: Also, I think I cooked at his house one night.
Speaker 2: This is all coming back to me like a fever dream.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: That was crazy.
Speaker 2: They were doing a movie at the same time, and
Speaker 2: the boys from what's the name of that show they
Speaker 2: had in Comedy Central Workaholics, Workaholics.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the Workaholics dudes were shooting up there at the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Sugaring Beard was And I made oxtail for
Speaker 2: like twenty people.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I just wanted to.
Speaker 3: And it was a good ax day.
Speaker 2: It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. God, so much has
Speaker 2: changed in then.
Speaker 3: You never made me oxtail.
Speaker 1: What the fuck?
Speaker 3: You made me noxtail? Oh fuck?
Speaker 1: But what have I made you and your family?
Speaker 3: You've made me so much food?
Speaker 1: Not much? My husband barbecue is not me.
Speaker 3: Do you guys get to hang a lot now?
Speaker 4: Not as much as I would like, because she abandoned
Speaker 4: me and moved out of Brooklyn.
Speaker 3: Oh no, where are you now?
Speaker 2: I'm in City Island, which is a little part of
Speaker 2: the Bronx Oh, and it's like a little fish in
Speaker 2: town and it's cute as fuck. I mean, I feel
Speaker 2: like we've all entered the next phase of adulting.
Speaker 1: We have kids now. We have to think of space in.
Speaker 2: School districts and yard and where we're gonna put the
Speaker 2: car and how many steps we got to fuck with?
Speaker 1: And you know, can we have a dishwasher? You know
Speaker 1: all that shit.
Speaker 2: And so Jordan's family is definitely part of the quarantine,
Speaker 2: like we hang. Yeah, our kids love each other, but.
Speaker 1: Fuck boo, you got a kid down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's wild. It's a wild choice, it is. We
Speaker 3: all made some wild choices. Huh. A little girl, little boy.
Speaker 3: She's a little girl.
Speaker 5: She's ten and a half months old, and she can stand.
Speaker 5: She cannot yet walk, but she'll get there. She'll learn
Speaker 5: to do that eventually, I'm told. And she's pretty cool.
Speaker 3: She's a cool lady. I like her.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that you like her, because that happens too. Yeah.
Speaker 5: No, I've talked to a few friends who are like, nah,
Speaker 5: I ain't. I ain't a big fan. Like they cool,
Speaker 5: but I'm not liking love deeply.
Speaker 3: Yeah with the baby, Damn, that's real.
Speaker 2: No one talks about it because they feel bad about it.
Speaker 2: But that's real, Like just because it's your DNA, there
Speaker 2: are people in your family that you don't like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean, Like it happens.
Speaker 2: Just because you're related, doesn't mean that you have to
Speaker 2: like each other.
Speaker 5: And I also think with babies, especially there constantly and
Speaker 5: it's just a function of their nature. They're constantly taking right,
Speaker 5: like that is who they have to be for the
Speaker 5: first year to two years of their life. They don't
Speaker 5: give a lie.
Speaker 1: I was like, eighteen years, yes, go on, sure, I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 5: I'm hopeful that this changes, but apparently it does.
Speaker 3: It they just thirty to forty years. Yes, God, but.
Speaker 4: After you're gone, after you're gone, they will stand on
Speaker 4: their own.
Speaker 5: Stand it right now, They're just gonna steal rings from
Speaker 5: your gravesite after you're gone.
Speaker 2: It's so funny you say that, because I was like,
Speaker 2: if you want to have a kid and you've dated
Speaker 2: someone who is useless, you'll be able to have a
Speaker 2: kid because you're just taking care of someone that doesn't
Speaker 2: do anything for you. And that's what it's like, especially
Speaker 2: in the beginning.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: I always ask, especially any new dad, did you feel
Speaker 2: just like hella useless in the beginning because it was
Speaker 2: all your wife.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, you you feel like a loser when every
Speaker 5: time the baby needs something, you got to be like, hey,
Speaker 5: the baby, the baby crying, the baby don't like me
Speaker 5: no more.
Speaker 3: You got to fix it.
Speaker 5: But I will say that that the triumph when you
Speaker 5: finally reach that triumphant moment of being able to put
Speaker 5: your kid to sleep on your own without liking anyone else.
Speaker 5: Jumping in is fucking huge once you start learning like
Speaker 5: rhythmic things that like even like there are things I
Speaker 5: can do for my daughter that my wife can't, and.
Speaker 3: That's like, all right, yeah, I'm doing something now.
Speaker 5: I cannot sustain her life and I thank her every
Speaker 5: day for keeping her alive. But you know, when it
Speaker 5: comes to making her laugh, I got this.
Speaker 3: You're the playmate. You're the playmate.
Speaker 5: I'm hilarious to this baby and I'll take that every day.
Speaker 1: You know, Oh I love that. See, I can do
Speaker 1: it all.
Speaker 2: You know, nobody wants to follow my alphabet because it's giving.
Speaker 3: She's got her own. You're the homie. Then the day
Speaker 3: is made when you're around.
Speaker 5: Is that I'm a fun hang and then I dip
Speaker 5: off because the responsibility has to kick in for everyone else.
Speaker 2: Jordan told me, like, I don't even remember when you
Speaker 2: said this, probably like when debate before they were born.
Speaker 2: I don't remember, but he was like, as a parent,
Speaker 2: you have to learn how to parent yourself.
Speaker 3: Mmmm, tell me more. Absolutely, go home, bro, that kind
Speaker 3: of stuff. You know.
Speaker 4: Let's say you're out, it could even be five and
Speaker 4: people are like, let's go get some drinks at the
Speaker 4: thank thing and you're like, well, you know, I probably
Speaker 4: shouldn't because my mate's not doing that. So rather than
Speaker 4: tell her, you know that I did this with these
Speaker 4: people while you were stuck with baby, I'm gonna just
Speaker 4: go home like that kind of thinking of your partner
Speaker 4: before your own needs for a while. And that's how
Speaker 4: it is for a while, but it's not forever. It's
Speaker 4: not forever, and especially in those early nascent moments and
Speaker 4: that period, it's gonna change. You'll see it changes, like
Speaker 4: you get your time back and you get a lot
Speaker 4: of your life back.
Speaker 1: And that's interesting because that's what it was like for you.
Speaker 2: But for me it was like, I gotta stop having
Speaker 2: my parents tell me their opinions because it's not absolute.
Speaker 1: Like I got this like, I'm the parent it.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: Do you have a picture of your baby?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I'll show you my Screensavorite pictures are of
Speaker 5: her looking insane, because that's funnier to me.
Speaker 3: But this, yeah, this is nice.
Speaker 1: This is Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yo, drop it in the chat, bro.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just a fat she's so squishy.
Speaker 1: She looks like your wife.
Speaker 3: She's healthy.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I'm making her jog as soon as
Speaker 5: the legs work.
Speaker 3: I love it. I'm joking.
Speaker 1: I will say, enjoy it.
Speaker 2: She's just about to start walking, and I say enjoy
Speaker 2: it while she's still crawling and stuff. Because my daughter
Speaker 2: walked at ten months, but she ain't just walking, she
Speaker 2: started running. I was like, you gotta come back. And
Speaker 2: then my son did not walk till he was a
Speaker 2: year and a half. So with twins, I'm caring. And
Speaker 2: he's like, he's the size of Bruno Mars right now
Speaker 2: and he's three and a half.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: He's big, No shade to Bruno.
Speaker 3: I love he's a handsome little guy. Yeah that was
Speaker 3: a double takedown. I love it.
Speaker 1: Conto says, we don't talk about Bruno. I love to
Speaker 1: talk about Bruno. I love it.
Speaker 3: Bruno's my Beyonce.
Speaker 5: I love Bruno Mars right, he's I saw him in
Speaker 5: concert on on Molly and it was truly one of
Speaker 5: the more euphoric moments of my life.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, did it make you want to buy a
Speaker 1: wig and a gold chain?
Speaker 3: I thought I had one on the entire time? Did
Speaker 3: you want to call out to Julio the whole time?
Speaker 1: Get the whips?
Speaker 3: What in the Morris Day is happening with this guy?
Speaker 3: He just found his wave.
Speaker 5: He was like, look, yell, ain't gonna call it appropriation
Speaker 5: If I funk with eineteen eighty.
Speaker 3: Three, black people's shit. Just that's where I'm gonna live.
Speaker 1: That's true, That's true. Yeah, what a dad?
Speaker 4: Laugh? Enjoy that baby fat because I love when a
Speaker 4: tyler like they look like they got a little beer belly,
Speaker 4: you know, oh and you could and then mouth breathe.
Speaker 4: They're like, she does do that?
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen that video of like this like
Speaker 2: a Thai baby that's smoking a cigarette?
Speaker 1: You haven't seen that baby.
Speaker 5: I have seen that video and it's heartbreaking but also
Speaker 5: real hilarious.
Speaker 1: A two year old hypertension.
Speaker 5: I will say that that one of the things that
Speaker 5: somebody told me that ended up being like super helpful,
Speaker 5: even when it just like first six months type shit
Speaker 5: is like as a dad, you should just change every diaper.
Speaker 5: And that was big for us because it was like, oh,
Speaker 5: she's crying in the middle of I And this would
Speaker 5: before back when we were stupid and we thought we
Speaker 5: had to change her every time she cried in the
Speaker 5: middle of the night. But like stuff like that, if
Speaker 5: I pop up and change the diaper, I've done what
Speaker 5: I can do, and then that allows my wife to
Speaker 5: then take on the responsibility of staying awake with the baby.
Speaker 5: But I've been good dad all the way through it,
Speaker 5: you know, I've helped, And that's that's huge.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, playing a role making making the other person
Speaker 4: not feel alone or like going through this alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's I think, especially as partners, because if you've
Speaker 2: been with each other for so long, you just feel
Speaker 2: like you know, but I think checking in and be
Speaker 2: like what do you need, Like, like what do you
Speaker 2: need me to do for you to feel comfortable relaxed
Speaker 2: resting is huge and like actually mean it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: There's an easy fix to a lot of stuff if
Speaker 5: you're being communicative inside of it. It's not always a
Speaker 5: comfortable fix, but it is an easy fix as long
Speaker 5: as you're sort of talking it through. But when you're not,
Speaker 5: it becomes like much more complex because now I'm resentful
Speaker 5: of the fact that you didn't ask or we didn't
Speaker 5: talk about this shit, and I had to do it
Speaker 5: by myself. And now it's stacking on top of each
Speaker 5: other and making things real messy for baby and everyone involved.
Speaker 2: Oh, the resentment can build real quick. Yeah, I have
Speaker 2: a question, what is the biggest misconception you think people
Speaker 2: have of not only comedians but black mail comedians.
Speaker 1: Mmmm?
Speaker 4: Who.
Speaker 5: That's tough because I think if I were to give
Speaker 5: an answer, it feels like a very nineteen ninety six answer.
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
Speaker 2: That like that I wasn't even born yet, But go ahead,
Speaker 2: I assure around.
Speaker 5: But you know, it used to be like, oh, we're
Speaker 5: all like humping stools and wearing big suits and running
Speaker 5: the stage. And now I feel like we've introduced more of.
Speaker 3: A nuanced approach to what.
Speaker 5: Can be We run the gamut now in a way
Speaker 5: that I don't necessarily know that I feel stereotyped.
Speaker 3: As often as as I.
Speaker 5: Guess a former version of this career probably did. I
Speaker 5: don't know, what do you guys think? Where where do
Speaker 5: you land in this geez?
Speaker 4: I think it's maybe like there's still a glass ceiling
Speaker 4: a little bit about what we can talk about. I
Speaker 4: love talking about like class stuff, and that just really
Speaker 4: gets people's booty holes puckered. And then I just feel like,
Speaker 4: once I start talking about race again, I'm like, ah, better,
Speaker 4: you know mm, I have noticed that. And if I
Speaker 4: stray and talk about things that are actually things that
Speaker 4: they don't expect me to talk about, then you know,
Speaker 4: it's it still feels as though like I'm getting an
Speaker 4: energy from the audience of like, we're just not sure
Speaker 4: that we can trust you with these jokes.
Speaker 3: Say in the box, yeah, in the box please. Yeah.
Speaker 5: There is still this want for black comics to sort
Speaker 5: of like it in staying in the box. It's also
Speaker 5: a little bit of like stay on the right side
Speaker 5: of what we consider to be like history or correct
Speaker 5: or whatever it is. And niggas get messy too, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean, Like we deserve the opportunity to
Speaker 5: go up there and be figure it out, uh problematic
Speaker 5: and weird, and they all figure it out, and yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: Speaking to that, Like I think players, when I think
Speaker 2: of the way I hear people talk about black male
Speaker 2: comedians is like they're all going to be played, Like
Speaker 2: even if they are married with kids, it's like, well,
Speaker 2: they can't be I don't know why that.
Speaker 1: I get a lot.
Speaker 2: And then also I feel like we're just supposed to
Speaker 2: be happy all the time. Oh yeah, happy all the time,
Speaker 2: like even if it's just like running into you at
Speaker 2: a line or just like just do the thing, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, like make the joke, say the thing,
Speaker 2: you know, it's like happy clown, like do that shit.
Speaker 1: That's what I feel like sometimes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I will say that that Black people as artists,
Speaker 5: I feel like, need to be in the eyes of the.
Speaker 3: Public showmen, show people in a.
Speaker 5: Way that I don't think is always asked of our
Speaker 5: white counterparts, right that, like the show can never cease
Speaker 5: with us, otherwise we are unlikable or difficult or whatever
Speaker 5: the fuck. Whereas like if a white dude is just
Speaker 5: sitting around grumpy, we recognize that it as like, oh,
Speaker 5: he's a complex individual with like layers and nuanced and
Speaker 5: it's like, nah, that's just a me motherfucker man, some
Speaker 5: of the shit you're just like giving grace to and
Speaker 5: not the other way around.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, yo, I feel like I feel like this.
Speaker 4: Sometimes people love your rhythm but hate your blues, right,
Speaker 4: and that happens a lot a lot with black male
Speaker 4: comics or black people in general. The second that you
Speaker 4: get deep or the second that you do is stop down,
Speaker 4: it's like everybody's butthole puckers and you're like, come on now, y'all,
Speaker 4: Like I was just entertaining you for the past what
Speaker 4: umpteen minutes, and now I just want to say one
Speaker 4: real thing, and y'all are like.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I can see the strings at the puppet.
Speaker 4: Show, you know, like it's like I'm not I can't
Speaker 4: spoon feed you forever. I want to have some I
Speaker 4: want to get something out of this experience as well.
Speaker 4: But it's not gonna stop me. Yeah it has, like
Speaker 4: it's made me afraid, but it hasn't like stopped me.
Speaker 3: And it's okay, you know, It's like it's all right.
Speaker 2: Ultimately, it feels like just straight up pandering because it's
Speaker 2: like I'm working on my shit too.
Speaker 1: I just happen to be doing it. In front of
Speaker 1: you guys, right, so just enjoy the bits that you
Speaker 1: did laugh at.
Speaker 2: But I'm a real ass fucking human being with experiences,
Speaker 2: so let me fucking do this.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think in that way, uh, there is
Speaker 5: in the grander conversation where I having there, there is
Speaker 5: sort of a want to remain inhuman for the audience,
Speaker 5: right that as long as we don't start making human
Speaker 5: connection and we remain funny and entertaining. And maybe that's
Speaker 5: just a fault of comedy in general. Is like they
Speaker 5: don't want us to be human beings. They want us
Speaker 5: to be, like you said, silly clowns. And then at
Speaker 5: some point they go, I that's too fucking human.
Speaker 3: For my taste. I'm not having fun anymore.
Speaker 5: And the dance is really figuring out a way to
Speaker 5: get these motherfuckers to accept us as human as we
Speaker 5: want to be.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of like whoever's listening to this, whoever
Speaker 2: needs this, I don't like, whoever does this, just fucking
Speaker 2: stop and chill.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I remember when Lizzo stop and show it's too much.
Speaker 2: You're like, it's like, are you the police of everybody's
Speaker 2: fucking emotions? Like I remember when Lizzo posted that she
Speaker 2: was working out and everyone's like, oh, no, she's working out.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, bitch, cholesterol, Like she's still gonna be
Speaker 2: thick and beautiful. Like the fact that even if you're
Speaker 2: not even in the public eye or have the experience
Speaker 2: on stage to like clap back at someone, that people
Speaker 2: still have the desire the need to tell you what
Speaker 2: they think. It's fucking wild, and like we are all
Speaker 2: raising kids in a time where they have to think
Speaker 2: for themselves in real life and then also on internet,
Speaker 2: and that's fucking crazy. That's again one more job that
Speaker 2: I didn't want to have to fucking do.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think even to that, like I thinking
Speaker 5: about the Lizo shit, it's like all right, even if
Speaker 5: she was working out, just truly because she like was like, yo,
Speaker 5: I don't want this figure anymore. Whatever goals change, sense
Speaker 5: of self changes, and that's okay. It's perfectly normal for
Speaker 5: a human being to be like, hey, I woke up
Speaker 5: today and I want to be different. And I think
Speaker 5: we've reached a weird space in society where we go no, bitch,
Speaker 5: you pick your position, you stay exactly as you are
Speaker 5: as the big girl that tworks with flutes and she's like, yo,
Speaker 5: I don't even want to play flute no more. I
Speaker 5: just I just want to read and grow bananas or
Speaker 5: whatever the fuck Lizzo's planning to do next.
Speaker 4: Adele was able to do it though. Adele I went
Speaker 4: from her plus size down to where she is.
Speaker 3: But they got mad at Adele for that shit.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but she got through it. I feel like
Speaker 4: she got through it. I am now like I'll be like,
Speaker 4: oh yeah, Adele was like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she dropped an amazing album to follow it.
Speaker 2: She got divorced, She dropped the Weight drop an album,
Speaker 2: and then dropped her ass on some black Dick and
Speaker 2: people were like, okay, right, she had a journey.
Speaker 5: I'm here, you've got a lot going on, sister. We're
Speaker 5: gonna let you see this through. Ah, we'll talk when
Speaker 5: you're on the other side.
Speaker 3: You clearly got some shit. You're you're operating through a blueprint.
Speaker 2: We get questions from our audience members about adulting, and we'd.
Speaker 1: Like to ask you some Is that cool?
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's so many good ones.
Speaker 2: Okay, this one was just get out of the way,
Speaker 2: because I think it's important nobody ever talks about it.
Speaker 1: It's entertaining but also annoying.
Speaker 2: Somebody, one of our listeners wants to know should I
Speaker 2: get a vanity license plate?
Speaker 3: Oh? Should I answer first? Or do you?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say uh, I'm gonna say yes, you should.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 3: Here's here's why.
Speaker 5: My first instinct is to say no, that's loser behavior.
Speaker 5: Don't you dare do that? But but I think if
Speaker 5: I'm really thinking it through, if that's something that makes
Speaker 5: you feel whole as a person, if it truly is
Speaker 5: gonna fill a void in your life, then you just
Speaker 5: get that vanity license plate. Now, if you get it
Speaker 5: and that hole still sits there, you gotta go to therapy.
Speaker 5: You gotta self reflect because you made a big choice
Speaker 5: and it didn't solve your problems. But I say go
Speaker 5: for it. If this is a gap that you feel
Speaker 5: missing in your person.
Speaker 2: I mean, if we had a microphone, we drop it.
Speaker 2: They're too expensive. They're podcasting. I love it, but that
Speaker 2: we don't need to follow. Oh sorry, we gotta follow.
Speaker 2: We got two fingers and.
Speaker 1: A follow up.
Speaker 4: I just want to ask what go around and ask
Speaker 4: what your vanity plates to be?
Speaker 1: Oh man?
Speaker 2: I think Mom would be like be yourself or some shit,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, or like be beautiful or
Speaker 2: like something about boot something about booty.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think I do something real stupid, which is why
Speaker 5: I know I'm not supposed to. Like I would get
Speaker 5: like it would say like not Cisco's car or something
Speaker 5: like that.
Speaker 3: It's like, what did you do that for?
Speaker 5: Man?
Speaker 3: You spent how much money to make it clear that
Speaker 3: this isn't Cisco's car? What's wrong?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: No? Next question?
Speaker 2: My daughter went to her father's house, my ex, for
Speaker 2: the weekend, and I found out that his girlfriend cut
Speaker 2: my daughter's hair.
Speaker 1: I didn't expect that shit.
Speaker 2: Now I'm having some Okay, Well, she said it was
Speaker 2: more than a trim, and I did not give her permission.
Speaker 1: What do I do?
Speaker 3: What do I do? Oh? You murder that lady.
Speaker 4: You cannot advocate, cannot say that.
Speaker 5: Okay, you confront that lady and you demand that she
Speaker 5: grow your daughter's hair back, because.
Speaker 3: That's the same. That is truly wild. How dare you?
Speaker 1: That is some trifling shit right there? I cannot believe.
Speaker 4: I think it's a never again. I think it's like
Speaker 4: a never again. Like, Okay, you've done this. There's no
Speaker 4: un baking the cake. Yeah, the next time, ask my permission. Okay,
Speaker 4: I'm not coming in that nice. I'm not coming in
Speaker 4: that nice. It's not her kids. She did not grow
Speaker 4: the kids, she not have the kid. She is not
Speaker 4: the kid's mother.
Speaker 2: She's not allowed to see she's not allowed to be
Speaker 2: over there when ex girl, we're girlfriend's there anymore?
Speaker 1: Period. For me, co parenting is hard. Parenting together when
Speaker 1: you love someone is hard.
Speaker 2: Imagine if you're not together and don't see I this
Speaker 2: is some trifling bullshit. Why doesn't one of her kids
Speaker 2: come over to my house now it's me and then
Speaker 2: I give them a tattoo?
Speaker 5: I mean like that, Okay, you can cut my daughter's there,
Speaker 5: but I get to tattoo your child.
Speaker 3: I love that, Michelle. I love how you clenched there.
Speaker 2: You're just like you know why because I like, I
Speaker 2: had this moment with my husband. So I was filming
Speaker 2: Firstwaf's Club in Atlanta for three months. When I came back,
Speaker 2: baby boy's hair was cut, and I'm like, that is
Speaker 2: his crown?
Speaker 1: How dare you?
Speaker 2: And we had because my husband's white, we had a
Speaker 2: whole less conversation of what it means to have hair
Speaker 2: makes hair, And I was like, this is important for
Speaker 2: different reasons, and then he was like, didn't even think
Speaker 2: about it. I'm like, you're bald and you know what
Speaker 2: to bean, Like why would you and so? And that's
Speaker 2: a conversation with somebody that I love.
Speaker 5: I just don't think you can this can be that
Speaker 5: peaceful because this person is still going to be around
Speaker 5: your child and clearly doesn't function from the instinct of
Speaker 5: respect and care from the beginning. So like, whatever this is,
Speaker 5: you gotta there's got to be a little smoke here.
Speaker 5: It can't just be a polite conversation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, tell your lawyer you're trying to roll up on him. Liston. Yeah, no,
Speaker 3: I'm beating knees, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like, that's unacceptable, you guys, This is a really important question.
Speaker 1: I think the guys should answer.
Speaker 3: Oh, I really hate to swallow?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Do I have to?
Speaker 2: I really hate to swallow? Do I have to? Is
Speaker 2: it bad not to swallow?
Speaker 3: Ooh? Are we talking about mathwash?
Speaker 5: Don't swallow your Mouthwise, that's not a good don't swallow listine.
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is from a male or female.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't think that matters. I think I think
Speaker 3: the rule is still the rule.
Speaker 1: What's the rule?
Speaker 4: Some people want you to gargle the listerine, some people
Speaker 4: want you to spit it back up. But let me
Speaker 4: tell you something. Oh god, I have no judgments either.
Speaker 1: Did you know?
Speaker 3: Can we not have an adult conversation about this?
Speaker 1: Yes? We can.
Speaker 5: Here's what I'll say. I'm thirty five years old. Yes,
Speaker 5: if there is a lady, a person in my life
Speaker 5: who ain't swallowing, you're out of here, sister, get beats,
Speaker 5: hit the road.
Speaker 3: We're all doing stuff we don't like. Hit the bricks, sister,
Speaker 3: You're done here.
Speaker 4: I honestly, I respectfully disagree Lngston. I feel as though
Speaker 4: that moment, at those heightened moments of organs, I feel
Speaker 4: like it's it's okay for you know, like maybe you
Speaker 4: don't want to take somebody's sweet sausage in the in
Speaker 4: the mouth, you know, and just like I think it's
Speaker 4: I think it's all right, you know, I think it's
Speaker 4: all right. I think it's like spray another way, because
Speaker 4: there's sometimes I hear it untaste great.
Speaker 1: You know you haven't tasted yours?
Speaker 3: No, no, never tasted my funky sponge.
Speaker 5: You should why it's grossed.
Speaker 1: It's from your body.
Speaker 2: Everyone's like sticking their fingers and holes and licking it
Speaker 2: and being like, oh my god, I'm tasting myself.
Speaker 1: You should taste yourself.
Speaker 6: No, that's that's a very charming thing for a lady
Speaker 6: to do. That's a fucking grotesque thing for a man.
Speaker 6: That's like coy fun for a play for a lady.
Speaker 3: That is ghoulish behavior for a man. All right, I'm
Speaker 3: sure it's winter green and fresh.
Speaker 2: By the way, I don't think you need to swallow.
Speaker 2: If you don't like to swallow, don't thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I say, you can't have the sixes up the nine.
Speaker 2: So why are we even trying to suck a dry
Speaker 2: unless you had an orgasm? Did you have an orgasm?
Speaker 1: First?
Speaker 2: Make sure you sit on his face or figure out
Speaker 2: how to get you before you do that. Maybe if
Speaker 2: he fucking gives you what orgasm first, then you'd be
Speaker 2: like willing to swallow if we're really going to get
Speaker 2: into it.
Speaker 5: WHOA, Okay, so I hadn't considered this possibility. I did
Speaker 5: not consider the possibility that the reason this person is
Speaker 5: not swallowing is because they are unsatisfied on their own end.
Speaker 5: That's if that's the case, maybe reason then my apologies
Speaker 5: to you.
Speaker 3: You deserve to come. That said, if you come, you
Speaker 3: better swallow that nut. Swallow that nut. You got your
Speaker 3: side of it, now, swallow that goddamn nut.
Speaker 2: I am so sorry and glad that I asked this question.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit of both.
Speaker 3: I think we have time for one more question.
Speaker 1: We have time for one more.
Speaker 4: Let me ask a pretty serious one, and it's definitely
Speaker 4: on the same topic. How much should I be saving
Speaker 4: for my kids college education?
Speaker 5: WHOA, oh, I don't frankly no, Yeah, my daughter hasn't
Speaker 5: reached a year yet, so I'm not one hundred percent
Speaker 5: sure you're not saving yet we are saving? How dare
Speaker 5: you worth saving? I think a better way of approaching
Speaker 5: it is more like ties for the church, right. You
Speaker 5: should think more in terms of percentage of like what
Speaker 5: you can give, rather than obligating yourself to a lump
Speaker 5: sum that may feel like it's putting you underwater in
Speaker 5: an unfair way.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: The thing is is like save what you can see
Speaker 2: what kind of kid you have first? You might not
Speaker 2: have a kind of kid that needs to go to school,
Speaker 2: they could do something else. You might have the kind
Speaker 2: of kid that is so smart they can get some
Speaker 2: sort of scholarship. So I say, get to know your
Speaker 2: kid first before you start figuring out where they should
Speaker 2: go to school.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, especially in these days and times when tuition is
Speaker 4: going up. I will say that you can, of course
Speaker 4: register for a five twenty nine college plan. They have
Speaker 4: them in various states, and you get tax deferment and
Speaker 4: tax deduction using these plan, so it's like having a cueon.
Speaker 4: I think the maximum you can put in each account
Speaker 4: in New York State is fifteen thousand per child, and
Speaker 4: so you'll get a rebate on your taxes for that.
Speaker 3: But then also outside.
Speaker 4: Of that, I was just reading this really great book
Speaker 4: called The Price of Admission by Daniel Golden. He talks
Speaker 4: all about how the college game is rigged. And one
Speaker 4: thing that people do definitely gets a lot of white
Speaker 4: students in is play sports that are what are called
Speaker 4: country club sports now. That might be sailing, rowing, things
Speaker 4: like squash, and there are actually now inner city programs
Speaker 4: for squash and rowing. And if you have a black
Speaker 4: child that is interested in rowing or squash, two things
Speaker 4: you can do in the city and there are programs
Speaker 4: for them. Then they give you an actual bump wherein
Speaker 4: you could get a full on scholarship at a college
Speaker 4: of your choice.
Speaker 3: Woa oh, I love.
Speaker 1: It when he gets Corey Booker on that ass.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh, sorde on, let me put my glasses on. Let
Speaker 3: me put my glasses on, so you believe me. There
Speaker 3: you go.
Speaker 5: I said, you know what I was gonna say. The
Speaker 5: world is ending in college won't exist soon, so fuck it.
Speaker 5: But no, I think I think Jordan's right.
Speaker 3: Do what he said.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's a beautiful book.
Speaker 3: I recommend it highly.
Speaker 4: So you just see what the whites are doing, see
Speaker 4: what the rich whites are doing, and then copy that
Speaker 4: shit racketball baby.
Speaker 1: One d see what's the rich white to do? Copy? Okay, Langston.
Speaker 2: We ask every guest of ours, what's the most adult
Speaker 2: thing you want to do for yourself?
Speaker 1: This sear that you haven't been able to do yet.
Speaker 5: I need to and I already know immediately I need
Speaker 5: to start stretching.
Speaker 3: I don't stretch very often.
Speaker 5: I exercise far more than I stretch, and it's eventually
Speaker 5: going to catch up to me and something is going
Speaker 5: to blow up in my body, so I gotta stretch
Speaker 5: if I don't.
Speaker 2: Y'all can't see this because it's a podcast, But Lenggston
Speaker 2: meant that shit because he was giving me Obama fingers,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, like when he was doing
Speaker 2: a speech, Obama fingers, who meant it? So please go
Speaker 2: get your downward dog and your son's salutation.
Speaker 5: Distretch And now I'm gonna sing a little ol Green
Speaker 5: to send us home.
Speaker 2: Yay, it's so fun to see you friend, see you
Speaker 2: in person one day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, when I get to La I love to
Speaker 3: I'm gonna hit you up.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's hang. I'd love that.
Speaker 1: All right, I'm tired. It's not for an edible Bye.
Speaker 3: We did it.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. You know what I love.
Speaker 2: I love when podcast hangs feels like a friend's giving
Speaker 2: where you do a proper ass check in and then
Speaker 2: also recap all the crazy shit we've done in the
Speaker 2: last like five to ten years. For sure, do it
Speaker 2: because the last two and.
Speaker 1: A half years have been bullshit, right, so we might
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: Just like Reminisce, Like for a while, Instagram became the
Speaker 2: ultimate TBT. You're just like, well, I ain't doing shit,
Speaker 2: but I did do this one year.
Speaker 3: I know, I can't believe that y'all did.
Speaker 4: Like that is awesome that you got to have that
Speaker 4: adventure in Vancouver together.
Speaker 3: And it kind of shows that something.
Speaker 4: I miss about film and television is the socialization that
Speaker 4: we just don't have quite back yet, you know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying, Like it's not there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got it.
Speaker 4: And it was an adventure and it was like what
Speaker 4: we do, making comedy, making making laughs at its best,
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it does feel like when you can do comedy
Speaker 2: and film TV shows and films safely, you know, in
Speaker 2: between takes, it's like contagion, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: You're just hasn't had to eating your peanut butter and
Speaker 2: jelly with like rubber gloves. But it is nice that
Speaker 2: we could still connect. And I just say, I don't know,
Speaker 2: y'all call a friend that you have a good memory
Speaker 2: of that you haven't talked to in a while, and
Speaker 2: just reminisce on that one drunken night that you guys
Speaker 2: try to get into a strip club in Vancouver and
Speaker 2: got denied. You know, it's like that was fun then,
Speaker 2: it's still fun now, just do.
Speaker 3: It and this is what happens when you smoke Seth
Speaker 3: Rogan's blood. You know this is it?
Speaker 1: You better start that rumor yet again.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, By everyone.
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Our senior producer is Natalie Wrinn.
Speaker 3: Senior Managing Producer is Hannah Kyle Kraign.
Speaker 1: This episode was sound design.
Speaker 3: And engineered by Ryobomb.
Speaker 1: Our guest booker is Patrick Cotner.
Speaker 3: Our theme song is by DJ Donwell.
Speaker 1: Photography by Chris vander.
Speaker 3: Most, artwork by Jamie Bechtel.
Speaker 2: Executive produced by Karen Kilgarrett, Georgia Hartstart and Danielle Kramer.
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pot.
Speaker 2: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm