Speaker 1: Look out. It's only films to be buried with. Hello,
Speaker 1: and welcome to films to be buried with. My name
Speaker 1: is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian, an actor, a writer,
Speaker 1: a director, an animal trainer, and I love film. As
Speaker 1: Shakespeare once said, there's nothing either good or bad. Only
Speaker 1: thinking makes it so. But having said that, In the
Speaker 1: Heights is absolutely smashing, and you should see it on
Speaker 1: the big screen. I absolutely loved it. Forthwith Yeah, I
Speaker 1: liked it too, William nice One. Every week I invite
Speaker 1: a special guest over. I tell them they've died, then
Speaker 1: I get them to discuss their life through the films
Speaker 1: that meant the most of them. Previous guests include Sharon Stone,
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith, James A. Custer, and even Bed Crampbell's. But
Speaker 1: this week it's the magnificent mister Joe Wilkinson. Head over
Speaker 1: to the Patreon at patreon dot com forward slash Brett Goldstein,
Speaker 1: where you get an extra twenty minutes of chat with Joe.
Speaker 1: We talk in depth about beginnings and endings. You get
Speaker 1: a really disgusting secret from him. There's no video this week,
Speaker 1: I'm afraid, but you can get the whole episode uncutt
Speaker 1: and ad free and videos for most of the other episodes.
Speaker 1: Check it out over at patreon dot com forwards Live
Speaker 1: breat Goldstein, there's a live show. Come in. There's only
Speaker 1: a few tickets left. Live show July third at the
Speaker 1: Underbelly Festival Saturday in a Spiegel tent. It'll be very exciting.
Speaker 1: Me and Sarah Kendall. Oh, we'll have a right old laugh.
Speaker 1: Come along and enjoy your lives. Your two TV missions
Speaker 1: as always to watch season one of ted Lasso just
Speaker 1: before season two comes out in July twenty third on
Speaker 1: the Apple TV Plus app and season one of Soulmates
Speaker 1: on Amazon Prime. One will make you very happy, the
Speaker 1: other will make you question your relationships. So. Joe Wilkinson
Speaker 1: Joe Wilkinson is a comedian, writer, actor, podcaster. He's currently
Speaker 1: smashing it with his own podcast with Brian Gittins called
Speaker 1: chatter Bicks. It's a daily podcast, very very funny. I
Speaker 1: highly recommend it. You should check it out. We recorded
Speaker 1: this last year deep into I think it was the
Speaker 1: first proper lockdown. When we recorded is when most of
Speaker 1: us were at peak madness. Had to drag Joe, kicking
Speaker 1: and screaming onto the podcast I'm very grateful he finally
Speaker 1: agreed to do it. There's some stuff we talk about
Speaker 1: that's probably out of date now, such as being in
Speaker 1: lockdown and not being allowed to see anyone that sort
Speaker 1: of thing, but you get the gist. We well went
Speaker 1: through it, and I think it should all still make sense.
Speaker 1: And that is it for now. I very much hope
Speaker 1: you enjoy episode one hundred and fifty two of Films
Speaker 1: to be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to Films to
Speaker 1: be Buried With. It is and this is me, Bret Goadstein,
Speaker 1: and I'm interrupted by a comedian, a writer, a him
Speaker 1: and her actor, a sketch comedian, a character median, an
Speaker 1: eight out of ten countdown, a living legend, and a
Speaker 1: man with a beard that is one of the reasons
Speaker 1: I have grown a beard myself. Please, welcome to the show,
Speaker 1: mister Joe Walkers in. There's the zoning out mate. They're
Speaker 1: not interested. They've skipped to the next They've skipped back
Speaker 1: to listen to Kyrie again. I've forgotten to say podcaster.
Speaker 1: Didn't I interested? But I'm not interested in being known
Speaker 1: as a podcaster. No or five out of the eight
Speaker 1: things you mentioned. We are the ones you actually care about.
Speaker 1: I liked writer, Yeah, Weightlifter and Vet. Congratulations on your
Speaker 1: Cockfield show that you wrote with Brows. Thank you. It's
Speaker 1: a very good show. And I believe there's gonna be
Speaker 1: more if this ever ends. Is that correct? And that's
Speaker 1: a secret, all right? But we are well so we
Speaker 1: are writing more. So whether it'll ever get on Telly
Speaker 1: Is is another question, you know, because they might not
Speaker 1: want it and we can't go outside. Yeah, and some
Speaker 1: of it was set outs. That's what was lovely about
Speaker 1: it was outside. Yeah, lots of green. Oh why it's
Speaker 1: very green, an't it. Yeah, you'd have to get rid
Speaker 1: of it that I knew there was a florid Joe Wilkinson. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got to ask you. How are you with the lockdown?
Speaker 1: What lockdown? Yeah? I thought it might appeal to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not a lot changed. What has changed? Que queuing
Speaker 1: for milk just that's the only difference. But quite seriously though,
Speaker 1: not a lot changed. But I sort of want to
Speaker 1: say I'm joking, but I'm not. Yeah, yeah right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: no no part for um. I guess go a pub
Speaker 1: on a Friday, which which I sort of really miss. Actually,
Speaker 1: I just I don't. I thought I was sort of
Speaker 1: someone that could just stay indoors. But I'm finely set
Speaker 1: for like maybe Sunday lunch and Friday evening when when
Speaker 1: I'd like to go out for an hour, But then
Speaker 1: they'll only give an hour and it will always be
Speaker 1: before eight. I'll go, I'll be home for eight because
Speaker 1: then you've got people going out, so I don't like
Speaker 1: to be around them, so I just leaves as they're
Speaker 1: coming in. So, yeah, my week's changed biking out. My
Speaker 1: week's changed by about three and a half hours, right,
Speaker 1: so too bad. Yeah that's pretty good. Yeah about you?
Speaker 1: How are you going on? I do miss gigs? Miss
Speaker 1: you miss gigs? Yeah? I miss doing gigs. What do
Speaker 1: you miss about the Well, what I've realized this, that's
Speaker 1: also where i'd see people like your social life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the depressing realization is that that was also my
Speaker 1: That is the fun bit, isn't it. Yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: bit I like it is hanging out in the back. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was never any good at that was I No,
Speaker 1: as as as evidenced in the first time, and I
Speaker 1: really hated because I just don't join in. No, it
Speaker 1: just makes you mercurial and everyone's like, what is he where?
Speaker 1: Just wants to go on? Oh my god, yeah, somethings
Speaker 1: like I never did that. Yeah, I'm never really young
Speaker 1: about remember. I remember someone to say it is. But
Speaker 1: I was doing a gig at the comedy store, you know,
Speaker 1: that really bleak back room at the comedy stores of Corridor,
Speaker 1: and I three or four people turned up. They've done
Speaker 1: their gig, and they turned up to hang about, you know, afterwards,
Speaker 1: and I could tell I wasn't getting old with them
Speaker 1: because I ken't going Why are you here? What are
Speaker 1: you doing? Why are you? Yeah? Why haven't you going home? Yes?
Speaker 1: Isn't even the gig? Yeah, if you're finished, why are
Speaker 1: you Okay? Oh? You want to do my twey spend
Speaker 1: the money? And I think, well, my sort of understanding
Speaker 1: of you is that you like hate gigs, but then
Speaker 1: you miss them, and then you do them for a
Speaker 1: bit and then you love them, and then you got
Speaker 1: I've done too many on board again. I don't like it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think it is. I like getting stuff
Speaker 1: to work, That's what I like. But but as soon
Speaker 1: as I've got something to work, just I don't I
Speaker 1: miss that sort I've always listened to comedians sort of
Speaker 1: going what they enjoy about it, and I and I go, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's what they enjoy. They enjoyed the sort of the
Speaker 1: performance element of it, you know, like making people laugh
Speaker 1: and all that. And I don't think I have that bit.
Speaker 1: I think I I can because they people sort of
Speaker 1: talk about like not being able to sleep after because
Speaker 1: I got this high. And I'm like, what you want
Speaker 1: about what high? I fold like, honestly, you get no
Speaker 1: like you have a fucking smasher you come up stage
Speaker 1: like yeah, I think so, you know like sometimes like
Speaker 1: sometimes you go, oh, got away with that, you know
Speaker 1: that was lucky or whatever. But I'm not like pumped
Speaker 1: like like he's genuinely true. I'm like, Okay, some people
Speaker 1: get like a chemical rush that they obviously quite addicted to,
Speaker 1: where it's like I obviously don't I get that. I
Speaker 1: get fear beforehand, right, but I don't get that joy
Speaker 1: release afterwards. I think, is it different in your head
Speaker 1: and heart when you're on stage and having a bad gig?
Speaker 1: Does it make any difference? Like are you going, oh God,
Speaker 1: I wish this was God? Do you not care? You're
Speaker 1: just going I care there is there is a slight difference.
Speaker 1: I'm sort of like, it's going well, arms are going
Speaker 1: oh right, yeah, yeah, okay, that should be all right now.
Speaker 1: And it was going badly, I'm like, oh fucking hell,
Speaker 1: where's it going badly? You're doing a long running the
Speaker 1: show is anment for you once the show is up
Speaker 1: and running, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just can't. I can't be asked. I think in a
Speaker 1: way i'd have to do something in it for me,
Speaker 1: but well, I quite do it doing with Diane because
Speaker 1: it was with someone else, and then if it also
Speaker 1: you kind of if it went badly and someone else
Speaker 1: to sort of god, that was that was bad when
Speaker 1: it and then with you could also things if things
Speaker 1: were wrong, it was funny. It's sort of you look insane. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're someone it's really fun when it goes badly.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's so bleak. Yeah, yeah, it's really bleak.
Speaker 1: And I think like, sometimes you know, something goes wrong
Speaker 1: and I'm doing it with Diane, you sort of find
Speaker 1: it funny. But if you still they're laughing at your
Speaker 1: own demise, on your own it's you know, it's clinical
Speaker 1: and oh Joe. Yeah, I forgot, I've forgotten to tell
Speaker 1: you something cool said at the top. Actually, what's that? What? Nah? Mmmm? Fuck?
Speaker 1: I just I just say it. I'm feeling really like
Speaker 1: something awful that happened. I don't want to you've died. Yes,
Speaker 1: for a minute, it's gonna be sounding terrible. No, no, No,
Speaker 1: it's good. Weight off. How did he die? How did
Speaker 1: I choose? I? I would say, I'll bled out from
Speaker 1: from where a wound, shoulder wounds that I have no
Speaker 1: idea how it happened. I've come in and I'm bled
Speaker 1: out in front of friends and family. So everyone's everyone's traumatized.
Speaker 1: So it's like a wedding or is that like that?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay at a wedding. I bled out at
Speaker 1: a wedding. Yeah, there was three hundred people there and
Speaker 1: I could have been saved. But as we've worked out,
Speaker 1: no one's that bothered by me. Yeah, So so they
Speaker 1: just they all just tear around and watch the first dance.
Speaker 1: So you've wandered into the marquee, you've been outside. You
Speaker 1: don't know what's happened. Now I knows it's happening. You
Speaker 1: come in, there's a little wound in your shoulder, yeah,
Speaker 1: and just bleeding quite heavily. Yeah. But I eventually bled
Speaker 1: out as the DJ's wrapping up first dance to New
Speaker 1: York Music. It started when I went for a piss
Speaker 1: between the starter and the main. Right, I came back
Speaker 1: started to bleed out. They had the main, they had
Speaker 1: the cutting of the cake. They've had first dance. One's
Speaker 1: got a bit leathered. Has been a couple of a
Speaker 1: couple of little incidents that didn't escalate too much, you know,
Speaker 1: a couple of tears and what could have been a fight,
Speaker 1: and then everyone's clearing out. Taxes are coming and lose
Speaker 1: me at that point as everyone's queuing to get their coats,
Speaker 1: I've led out, which you know, it's pretty standard. Are
Speaker 1: you are you? Do you worry about death in what way?
Speaker 1: Like would worry about could I die? Do you think
Speaker 1: about death a little? I suppose, well, genuinely I needly
Speaker 1: died yesterday. Are you serious? Yeah? Good? I expected turned Intah.
Speaker 1: I was I was having I was cooking some lunch,
Speaker 1: and I had you know, when you're cooking and you
Speaker 1: have something, you go, I'm going to certainly eat. Before
Speaker 1: I finished cooking, I had I had some pickled beeches,
Speaker 1: and a chunk got stuck in my throat and I
Speaker 1: couldn't breathe, and I out into the garden pointing at
Speaker 1: my throat. My bath went panicking. She's not very big
Speaker 1: and she's trying to him nick maneuver me. She wasn't
Speaker 1: strong enough, so I ran. I couldn't read at all.
Speaker 1: I ran through the house into the road, yeah, to
Speaker 1: hopefully someone would be on the road. Obviously at this
Speaker 1: time there's not a lot of people about. But luckily
Speaker 1: a jogger ran past. He was a big guy, and
Speaker 1: I was like pointing up my throat, going like mad,
Speaker 1: and he was like, I don't have to do and
Speaker 1: he gave it hide and luckily a bit of beach
Speaker 1: shot out of my mouth onto the floor. Took an
Speaker 1: expected turn and then and then the runner just run around.
Speaker 1: Cheers mate. Well, yeah, he turned up. He turned up
Speaker 1: to live four doors up on my road. And he
Speaker 1: came back then because my miss is called an ambulance
Speaker 1: and the ambulance we canceled it after it shot over.
Speaker 1: They turned up anyway, I think, just to make sure
Speaker 1: you're right, She's not the time to be to call
Speaker 1: an ambulance. But yeah, so until how long was that
Speaker 1: whole process from it being stuck to the guy getting
Speaker 1: it out? What was that longer than that? So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't have that much longer before I would have
Speaker 1: probably passed out. You literally weren't breathing for he No. Yeah, weird,
Speaker 1: huge panic. I remember thinking, oh God, I might die.
Speaker 1: I could die. I could have never felt like that before. Weirdly,
Speaker 1: you got a bit, Jason Bourne, your brain works a
Speaker 1: lot faster because I spoke to my neighbor and its
Speaker 1: happened to her friend and she hammed to her in
Speaker 1: a pub and people trying to get it out, and
Speaker 1: she remembered someone telling her that someone they knew over
Speaker 1: the road was worked as a doctor. She was run
Speaker 1: out there. She climbed out the pub because went across
Speaker 1: the road knocked on the door, and that person saved them.
Speaker 1: Your brain goes, Jason Bourne. Yeah, so I went. I
Speaker 1: knew immediately my other hole wasn't going to be able
Speaker 1: to do it. Wasn't strong enough as soon as you
Speaker 1: started doing it, so I pegged it. I just went,
Speaker 1: I bet someone be outside. Wow, w went my wife?
Speaker 1: I married badly? Yeah, that was that that Jason Bourne
Speaker 1: then't kicked in at that point that was standard. I
Speaker 1: was like, not not, you love, stay out of it.
Speaker 1: So I've probably got a bleak made to take the
Speaker 1: And when it came out, were you did you feel
Speaker 1: like a rascid mab I'm going to live now? I
Speaker 1: panted for a bit and then I went, I saw
Speaker 1: that that mate, and he went after. I said, we
Speaker 1: bulls up the social distancing, and he was quite funny.
Speaker 1: He went let us off, and I'll said, darn cheers
Speaker 1: for that, and he was like, that's right. And my
Speaker 1: missus went and get off the pavement. I went back
Speaker 1: in and and then she went, I've been telling you
Speaker 1: to chew properly for fucking years. I went, oh, hell,
Speaker 1: you know what. I also wondered genuinely, and I think this,
Speaker 1: and I know you're going to be all like whatever
Speaker 1: about it, but you are also on the telly quite
Speaker 1: a bit. And I wonder if that jog it must
Speaker 1: have been so surreal, if that jogger is like a
Speaker 1: fat suddenly, well I from countdown runs out of the
Speaker 1: road gates, because I would think that would slow down
Speaker 1: the response, right, because someone would get is it are you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It's not the time you did get a selfie. No.
Speaker 1: What was quite weird is someone I write a stupid
Speaker 1: joke about joggers on Twitter or something, and this girl
Speaker 1: got in contact and replied, joggers saved lives wink and
Speaker 1: really yeah, so somehow she knew, and I replied, what
Speaker 1: do you know? Got back to me, I'm quite weirdly's
Speaker 1: friends with James Gill on Twitter or what? You know?
Speaker 1: You're not friends? Are you follow? Yeah? Yeah? He followed it.
Speaker 1: So I was like, who's this woman? And he was like,
Speaker 1: I went to school with her whatever, and she now
Speaker 1: I choked on beach. It's like, don't interesting. Do you
Speaker 1: think there's enough to left to after life? Um nah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think. I never I genuinely
Speaker 1: never thought about it. Um bad I brought it up.
Speaker 1: Be all right too? Oh on mine? Oh? Mind doing
Speaker 1: it again in a different frame. Yeah, what would you
Speaker 1: make for the next time? Something with a shorter life? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like what's about seven years? Dog? Dog? Yeah? The dog? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But see some people with dogs and you go when
Speaker 1: we reinconnected, made it as yours. Yeah, I'd like an
Speaker 1: old I'd like to be an old person's dog. Because
Speaker 1: then because then your mate, it's aren't you ever? Really nice?
Speaker 1: You just do everything together. That's what i'd like. I'd
Speaker 1: like to come back as an old dog. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: basically I want to sit on a pub floor. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Or because I've always thought, I mean, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be freaking brilliant when I'm old, because I'll just go
Speaker 1: to the bookmakers and the pub and then go home.
Speaker 1: About as I say, about seven, I watch Telly. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be amazing. But I realized I'd rather be an
Speaker 1: old person's dog. Yeah, it seites you. Yeah, I'll be
Speaker 1: a really good old person's dog. Just look up at
Speaker 1: the right time, you know what I mean? When when
Speaker 1: there's there, you could win together. Yeah. If if he fell,
Speaker 1: i'd bark. Yeah. If you were taking, he'd called the neighbor.
Speaker 1: If he was choking, I'd bark. Yeah. Basically, whatever he did,
Speaker 1: I'll give him a little bark. Yeah. I can't do
Speaker 1: nothing else. No, I really want there to be an afterlife. Now, well, good,
Speaker 1: my friend, there is enough to lay. Oh nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a heaven and everything, and in it you can
Speaker 1: role plays dogs wherever you want to do. Okay, I
Speaker 1: say whatever you want to do, but they are obsessed
Speaker 1: with films there, and the first thing they want to
Speaker 1: know is what is the first film you remember seeing?
Speaker 1: Joe Wilkinson, I know what The first film I actually
Speaker 1: saw was both we're talking in the cinema was Popeye
Speaker 1: with Robin Williams, the Robert film, the film Robert Utman. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: but it was actually the second film I watched, because
Speaker 1: the first film I watched I remember more about, which
Speaker 1: was the fifteen minute film you get before a film.
Speaker 1: Do you remember they should do that? You're probably too young.
Speaker 1: You're twenty eight, twenty nine, yeah, baby, but you you
Speaker 1: are you old enough to remember when they'd play a
Speaker 1: film before a film. No, they wouldn't have. They did
Speaker 1: that with Pixar Films. Yeah, that's probably where they probably
Speaker 1: got it from. From your childhood, from my childhood. But
Speaker 1: before the Robin Williams, so I didn't know it's Robin
Speaker 1: Williams at the time. Was sort of sort of cleven
Speaker 1: years later. But they had a fifteen twelve about twelve
Speaker 1: minute film about alligators before, and I preferred it just
Speaker 1: a little documentary about alligators. Yeah, my dad took me
Speaker 1: and my brother because my mum had dad enough, I
Speaker 1: think or she might have been having a driving test.
Speaker 1: Actually think about it weirdly, and and I remember we'd
Speaker 1: never I never beat the cinema and I never really
Speaker 1: sort of went out with just my dad, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's like I've been thinking, oh, this
Speaker 1: is quite mad. So, yeah, it was stuck in here
Speaker 1: that I don't remember anything about Papa. I've got them
Speaker 1: word perfect about the film about alligators. Did you like
Speaker 1: the cinema? We like that? Yeah, this is good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I felt like people were looking genuinely, I remember the
Speaker 1: feeling of people look thinking people must be looking at me,
Speaker 1: going wow, he's in. It was like such a I
Speaker 1: don't know how. I felt like other worldly, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's like, you know, how's heven cinema?
Speaker 1: It's incredibly it's only four. Can I go while we
Speaker 1: do it? Can I google what year it was, because
Speaker 1: then I know my age nineteen eighty came out in
Speaker 1: December nineteen eighty sort have been five. The Alligator film
Speaker 1: and yeah, well Papa, Papa I did. I don't. I
Speaker 1: haven't got any reference to that doesn't matter. Alligator film. No,
Speaker 1: So that's the first film I saw. I don't remember
Speaker 1: anything about Papa. I didn't know it was Robin Williams obviously. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I remember the reason I remember now why I
Speaker 1: didn't like it. It was because someone was playing the
Speaker 1: part now and it wasn't cartoon because I remember going
Speaker 1: into it thinking, oh, it's obviously going to be like
Speaker 1: the cartoon. It wasn't. It was this fucking prick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: weird feel and I remember shouting out, who's this fucking prick?
Speaker 1: That's why people might have been looking at you. I said,
Speaker 1: he's probably good at stand up, this guy, he's probably
Speaker 1: a very really good stand up, but I don't want
Speaker 1: him to play Popeye. It should be a cartoon. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that was how do you say his name? Papaye papa? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Pop I can't say husband, okay, yeah, how do you
Speaker 1: say it husband as you say it? Yeah? Yeah he did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what I say it is wrong? Apparently husband? I say husband, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I can't say papae as well. Yeah, Popeye, I'll
Speaker 1: say Popeye for you for the rest of it. But
Speaker 1: I started to make me think you're really obsessed with dogs?
Speaker 1: What it's the film that made you cry the most? O?
Speaker 1: That's easy Farla. Do you know the film Farther No,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're pronouncing it right. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it spelt fast and furious. What's um? I really please
Speaker 1: yet that because I listened to your podcast and you
Speaker 1: always know it and it's about well, the Farlap was
Speaker 1: an Australian racehorse and it's a film about the racehorse
Speaker 1: that basically was this trainer basically bought it. Well, I
Speaker 1: think it's a trainer bought this free bit ridden horse
Speaker 1: which turned out to be the as good as Red
Speaker 1: Ramoreer basically in one lots of races. And there's a
Speaker 1: scene at the end, can you spoil film that was
Speaker 1: going to watch? Yeah? Yeah, my record. And basically the
Speaker 1: relationship in the film is the stable boy and the horse,
Speaker 1: but he basically ends up training the horse and riding
Speaker 1: the horse and nay end up you know, like close relationship,
Speaker 1: obviously kind of close relationship. That's how distant I am
Speaker 1: as a human. End up with a close relationship. Terrible
Speaker 1: worth explaining a love story, a close relationship becomes, they
Speaker 1: become a husband and pope and then the horse. Uh,
Speaker 1: because my dad loves horse racing basically as well. I
Speaker 1: watched it and at the end, basically when a horse
Speaker 1: is dying, if it lies down, it's you know, it's over,
Speaker 1: game over for the horse reason. And the horse starts
Speaker 1: to lie down and the little the stable boys turn
Speaker 1: don't I'll kind of well en up there says don't, don't, don't,
Speaker 1: don't lie down, and he's trying to push the horse
Speaker 1: to stay up. And it's heartbreaking. When I say cry,
Speaker 1: I mean laugh my head off. No, I really kind
Speaker 1: do you Nay? You know I'm not into all this
Speaker 1: crying and talking about it now. I'm taking don't cry
Speaker 1: a lot, I think in the last yeah, like I
Speaker 1: don't cry, but I will up. And I stopped myself
Speaker 1: crying more than since I've been in the fourtieres. I think.
Speaker 1: I think I see the fragility of things will now
Speaker 1: was before I didn't, but I cried then. I watched
Speaker 1: it with my dad and my brother and neither of
Speaker 1: them had any emotion on their face whatsoever. So I'm
Speaker 1: very much the open one in the in the family,
Speaker 1: the youngest. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm the wet
Speaker 1: one basically. Yeah, but yeah, that's do over cry. You know,
Speaker 1: you've probably stumped it never heard of it. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think well, I think we got it out because
Speaker 1: my dad would say last horse racing, and I remember
Speaker 1: it was from Blockbusters, and I think they had to
Speaker 1: sort of dust off the coffee, so I don't think
Speaker 1: it was lap. Yeah. This is the I should say
Speaker 1: this now, the reason we spoke before this about I
Speaker 1: feel quite intimidated by this because every You've had lots
Speaker 1: of really clever people on talking about films in a
Speaker 1: really intelligent way, and I feel like this is my
Speaker 1: first a little sort of stumble on the on an
Speaker 1: uneven payment towards the end of the first person to
Speaker 1: stump me, you are so far the cleverest. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: brought up the shittiest film that's made people cry, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like I'm going to do
Speaker 1: a few times. What the film that scared you the most?
Speaker 1: And do you like it being scared? Now? I don't
Speaker 1: like being scared. I hate being scared. And my friend
Speaker 1: Anna knows this, and we used to have we should
Speaker 1: watch films together on Saturday night and another friend, Jeremy,
Speaker 1: came over and they know I don't like being scared.
Speaker 1: I made me going to roller coaster once and that
Speaker 1: that fine because they were like, Oh, okay, you you
Speaker 1: weren't mucking around, you really do I'm being scared, Please
Speaker 1: don't go. And they said we're going to watch this film,
Speaker 1: and I was like, honestly because I know they really
Speaker 1: like but they like two things. A like horror films
Speaker 1: and what's the what's the old TV shirt show where
Speaker 1: I needed to do it? Oh? What's it called? It's
Speaker 1: going to annoy at me? Where the tales are the unexpected?
Speaker 1: That were their two obsessions tell the suspected amazing. I
Speaker 1: became obsessed them. Absolutely nothing happens in the town of
Speaker 1: all the stories, and suddenly there's this massive reveal that
Speaker 1: hasn't been set up. It's incredible, incredible, There's there's no storytelling,
Speaker 1: it's it's just magnificent. So anyway, they were like, we're
Speaker 1: gonna watch this film. I said, it's not a horror
Speaker 1: because you know, I look sadday night. I really I
Speaker 1: don't like it. I don't know. No, No, they put
Speaker 1: a hostile on. Have you seen Hostile? Yeah, it's the
Speaker 1: only horror film I've ever watched, and it's from what
Speaker 1: I've been told, it's one of the worst and I
Speaker 1: was so angry. There's a it goes like it's it's
Speaker 1: sort the first third is like a soft pawn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really weird. It's like just young people sort of
Speaker 1: bouncing along the road with their bodies, you know, and
Speaker 1: then to take them. Every body is moved in the
Speaker 1: in upwards rather than just down and and then but
Speaker 1: then it just like it had nowhere It cuts to
Speaker 1: the an achilles Heill being sliced open, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, And for some reason I sort of bullied
Speaker 1: into watching the rest of it. And it's properly scared
Speaker 1: scarred me and I'm fucking pricks. It was really, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I being scared. I don't know what. Like
Speaker 1: I was going to say, like say something like a
Speaker 1: good film that scared me, which didn't because I wanted
Speaker 1: to fit in. I was going to say, Jill, you know,
Speaker 1: Jill obviously PhD film. Yeah, but it didn't scare me.
Speaker 1: It was really good, Um, but I thought I was
Speaker 1: in it. And that Shye film Hostel to be Jesus
Speaker 1: is I don't know it don't like those films. Is
Speaker 1: it considered low brow? The torture pawn genre is that
Speaker 1: what it is? Yeah, is there what did you call it?
Speaker 1: Horrible pawn? My god, I I watched the torture through
Speaker 1: take not putting out on my CV. That's you. That's
Speaker 1: going on your Wikipedia baby now three three quarters of
Speaker 1: one of them. Yeah, so that one. Don't watch that.
Speaker 1: What I also like is everyone a lot most people
Speaker 1: on your podcasts. So I don't really like slagging films.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm I'm farm of it because I'm no,
Speaker 1: I'm not a problem. So Towns of the Unexpected. So
Speaker 1: nothing happens, and then suddenly like there's one quart of
Speaker 1: things called royal jelly. Right, I'll give you a sort
Speaker 1: of word for word to you. I'll give you the
Speaker 1: kind of how that Yeah, well how I'll say that.
Speaker 1: I'll give you all the beats of the story. Young
Speaker 1: couple have got a baby in and they're sort of
Speaker 1: you know, it's domestic scene in the costage, and the
Speaker 1: baby's crying a bit, and he goes out to work,
Speaker 1: comes back, baby still crying. He goes out again and
Speaker 1: comes back and and baby's still crying, and she's sort
Speaker 1: of God and I was going on here, and he
Speaker 1: goes kid and like about the fifth or sixth time,
Speaker 1: they'd say the same thing. Out of nowhere just sort
Speaker 1: of goes and you guys know what that was. And
Speaker 1: then he goes out, comes back and she goes. She goes,
Speaker 1: I don't know what why baby won't stop crying. And
Speaker 1: he says, he says, have you tried giving it some honey?
Speaker 1: And she's like what? And he turns around and he's
Speaker 1: a bee. The baby's a beat or the man. The
Speaker 1: man's a bee. So she's been like, she's the baby's
Speaker 1: half bee. So that I had sex by a secret bee. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And then the music at the end plays and you go.
Speaker 1: And when I watched that, my friend Jeremy was sat
Speaker 1: next to me. Whenever I watched one of these, he'd
Speaker 1: sit next to me and he was obsessed with him.
Speaker 1: He'd go, it's half an hour episode. He go, we're
Speaker 1: twenty three minutes in and nothing has happened. He'd know
Speaker 1: the point where you'd get to instill in each of them.
Speaker 1: We'd go, so he was seventeen minutes and still nothing
Speaker 1: has happened. There was another one where Joan Collins was
Speaker 1: a dinner party and she's horrible to everyone for twenty
Speaker 1: seven minutes she's just like, I don't like your plates.
Speaker 1: It's just really horriful. And she sort of stalled out
Speaker 1: into the garden. There's this piece of artwork with a
Speaker 1: hole in it, and for some reason she sticks her
Speaker 1: head in it and her head gets caught in it,
Speaker 1: and everyone's like, oh, and then they just I think
Speaker 1: they should walk away from her. She's got read stuck
Speaker 1: in it, or they push you over or so. I
Speaker 1: can't remember, but it's unexpected thing, the unexpe the twist
Speaker 1: of the head is yeah, they acted, yeah, it's it
Speaker 1: is unexpected. But you could just like in a Cowboy
Speaker 1: film if someone just got three penises out, you go,
Speaker 1: that's weird. You know. It doesn't have doesn't mean it
Speaker 1: adding anything. It's good in the torture poem category. It's
Speaker 1: not as good as torture board. Is it the film
Speaker 1: that you love Critically? It's not acclaimed, people don't really
Speaker 1: like it, but you don't care. You love it, right I.
Speaker 1: I I struggled with this one because you know, a
Speaker 1: little peep behind the curtain. You send these questions to
Speaker 1: us before, don't you? Is that a right to tell you?
Speaker 1: I think I think they're onto it and this one's
Speaker 1: struggled because I was like, this one could actually make
Speaker 1: me go oh, you know, people go oh, gonna use
Speaker 1: them keep, you know, because you kind of I want
Speaker 1: to say, I want to sort of say something that
Speaker 1: is actually good, but I'm above it because I like
Speaker 1: stuff that's really good. And then I was like, so
Speaker 1: I was going to say something like, I don't know, um,
Speaker 1: what's the sort of mid range good film that you
Speaker 1: know people if you say you really like it, no
Speaker 1: one goes, oh yeah that is brilliantly. No one goes, oh,
Speaker 1: you fucking idiot, So like Midnight Express something like that, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's really good. That was really good. Okay, mid range
Speaker 1: you're talking and hard too yeah okay, maybe a lot
Speaker 1: too bad. Then, so people don't stay you off, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? They go oh okay, yeah yeah
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. But then I sort of went truthful and
Speaker 1: I actually like and I think it's brilliant, righted sort
Speaker 1: of Solomon men in Black. I love me in that right, Okay, see,
Speaker 1: I don't know. See this is where I'm like, you
Speaker 1: can say anything to me. You can go, oh that's
Speaker 1: this that's the fourth word work film. That's the pedophile pornography, yeah,
Speaker 1: which which has just gotten a little darker than than
Speaker 1: I even thought with postil But I think it's I
Speaker 1: watched it the other day and I was like, it's
Speaker 1: a really good story. I'm like every and it's funny.
Speaker 1: And I was like, and I guess I was a
Speaker 1: little bit biased because I listened. I listened to a
Speaker 1: lot of Ed Solomon on podcasts and stuff, right, and
Speaker 1: he's spoken about it quite a lot, and how much
Speaker 1: work went into it. And I feel like it's got
Speaker 1: those really good ideas in it and it's funny and
Speaker 1: probably not in tonight mill Will Smith he's really good
Speaker 1: in it. He is good. I never know who's all
Speaker 1: right to like, you know. I know you can say
Speaker 1: I know you can say Audrey hepburns. No one's going
Speaker 1: to go in prick if you say Audrey Hepburn. But
Speaker 1: if you say Will Smith, I don't know. I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine. You can talk about Will Smith dinner party,
Speaker 1: you know, but you can sort of go, oh, I
Speaker 1: love Augie Hepburn and people go go, yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: I can't think of any of her films, but I
Speaker 1: can think of all the films it's really good. Many back.
Speaker 1: I like them. I like them all. Yeah, I really
Speaker 1: like them. The very last bit of it, the little
Speaker 1: like of which one, one, two or three, actually all
Speaker 1: of it, there's always a little Yeah, it's got hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the mad thing was I do think the first one
Speaker 1: is the best one. But I'm really big for like
Speaker 1: the Concourse fan and I had no idea. It's Jermaine Clement. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he is good like he you know, he was really
Speaker 1: cool to see him play against type like that. Fucking
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, shit, I've alway. It's been like
Speaker 1: I slept in a bed that he slept in the
Speaker 1: day after he slept in. It so good. So it's
Speaker 1: kind of written in the stars, isn't it. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: stayed at David. I docked his house and he'd had
Speaker 1: Flight the Concord stay in the night before, and I
Speaker 1: played it cool and then I went into the bedroom
Speaker 1: and I was down. I was angry and kind of
Speaker 1: chuffed at the same time because it's one day away
Speaker 1: from meeting Flight the Concords in the next day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did. Yeah, I had a lovely little role about
Speaker 1: and that absolutely lovely. Yeah, So it's quite cool. What
Speaker 1: is the film that you used to love but you
Speaker 1: don't love it anymore. I really struggled this because, like
Speaker 1: most of my favorite films are from the eighties, I
Speaker 1: really like comedy films, you know, like I know again,
Speaker 1: it's like they will still get passed over as great films.
Speaker 1: But I used to love when I was really little,
Speaker 1: smoking the bandit right, I just like I thought it
Speaker 1: was brilliant, and I watched it about five years ago
Speaker 1: and I didn't even understand the concept. Well well, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: like I don't know really, but they they've got to
Speaker 1: get across this, right. This is what I think is
Speaker 1: there's a lorry that's got to get across the country
Speaker 1: really quick. And I think the what's his name, Bert
Speaker 1: Reynolds's got the same same birthdays. He's in a car
Speaker 1: to sort of distract the police because they're going too fast.
Speaker 1: I think, I think that's it, right, But they don't
Speaker 1: really set it up like it's just I think it
Speaker 1: was just when I was a kid, I thought, oh,
Speaker 1: that's it's just ridiculous concept. But in in a kid,
Speaker 1: like when you're a kid, I mean, anything can happen
Speaker 1: in America because we hadn't been I mean, so, as
Speaker 1: far as I knew, they were still you know, like
Speaker 1: the World West, it had been parts of it and stuff,
Speaker 1: so you know, you were like, okay, so they have
Speaker 1: this thing where when Lauries want to go fast, someone
Speaker 1: drives a car next time, and I just totally buying.
Speaker 1: But I didn't give a shit about it. And then
Speaker 1: you know, I watched it at thirty nine or something,
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, is the concept to this film?
Speaker 1: The fuck? What the fuck? You base this whole thing
Speaker 1: on something that in no way could in no world
Speaker 1: this could exist. Fucking Hell's going on? And then they
Speaker 1: don't really explain, Like they don't explain the first time
Speaker 1: he sort of distracts the police by going really fast,
Speaker 1: you're just meant to sort of, They don't say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to distract the police by driving down this one,
Speaker 1: and then you'll be able to go really fast, and
Speaker 1: surely there's one more than one Copper never County anyway,
Speaker 1: and then you just sort of you're just sort of
Speaker 1: watching him drive fast with that pretty one from Missus
Speaker 1: Nutfire Sadly Field Shalie Fields. I should have known that
Speaker 1: you should put a horn every time I say something
Speaker 1: that makes me load brow. Sally Fields, she's probably done,
Speaker 1: she's been on, she's done off Broadway. All right, you
Speaker 1: could say Sally dinner party. I record people favorite actress,
Speaker 1: Sally Fields, Audrey Hepburn or Will Smith and actress at all.
Speaker 1: They're both thanked now, so you don't say actress. And
Speaker 1: I'd say that a dinner party feels very underrated. Anyway,
Speaker 1: remains what is what is the film that means the
Speaker 1: most to you? Not necessarily the film itself is any good,
Speaker 1: but because the experience you had around seeing it, that
Speaker 1: will always make it special to you. Right this This
Speaker 1: one was a tricky one for me again because as
Speaker 1: I'm a fan of your podcast, and everyone has got
Speaker 1: this incredible story and it's usually how they met their wife.
Speaker 1: So the fuck sayn't I don't going anything like that?
Speaker 1: And the one stuck in my mind. I was just
Speaker 1: going off. I was just fucking telling that. I M
Speaker 1: I used to live with two powers of mine who
Speaker 1: I grew up with and we used to live in
Speaker 1: Wandsworth together and my friend Simon and my friend Elise
Speaker 1: Else and Simon is called Simon Cockfield, who I nicked
Speaker 1: his surname for the sitcom and my friend Elsie. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it's Friday night and my uh, my friend Elsie had
Speaker 1: said John goes to cinema tonight, and I was kind
Speaker 1: of always I was a bit unreliable friend. You know,
Speaker 1: were you in this story. I was in the twenties,
Speaker 1: but I'd like, I love Simon and Elize them, you know,
Speaker 1: two of my best friends and stuff. But I was
Speaker 1: probably a bit a crap friend or whatever forgetting stuff. Whatever.
Speaker 1: So anyway, we'd agreed to go to see Tema and
Speaker 1: I after work, I went to the pub with my
Speaker 1: friend and like it. So I think we were going
Speaker 1: to the cinema at eight o'clock. So I've been in
Speaker 1: the pub since about five, right, and I've got a
Speaker 1: phone call my enormous mobile, and she says, where are you.
Speaker 1: I'm outside the cinema and it all comes flooding back
Speaker 1: to me and I went, oh shit, sorry, I'm on
Speaker 1: my way. And I was like, my friend was, I
Speaker 1: just don't got your pissed. I was like, honestly, I've
Speaker 1: let her down. Lights and this is all play tricks
Speaker 1: and all stuff. So I was like, I better go,
Speaker 1: and we got to cinema. I've got cinema and was
Speaker 1: just drunk basically, and we watched We went in to
Speaker 1: watch fight Club. Now. I watched the first maybe twenty
Speaker 1: minutes of Fight Club and then I fell asleep and
Speaker 1: I snorled really down, and then I woke up and
Speaker 1: I woke up to the reveal yeah, in my god,
Speaker 1: And so there's never been a point for me to
Speaker 1: watch that film. And we left that cinema. She was
Speaker 1: so fucked off with me. She was like, I've never
Speaker 1: been so embarrassed. You snored, and you saw slept talk
Speaker 1: and you just stank a booze and it's really embarrassing.
Speaker 1: So even when I even I went, I really left,
Speaker 1: and I really can't be asked to watch the film
Speaker 1: because I know the reveal. So I literally woke up
Speaker 1: with just enough in photo yeah to sort of go oh,
Speaker 1: And then I worked backwards and I've seen enough at
Speaker 1: the front yeah yeah, So I didn't need any of
Speaker 1: the fun in the middle. So I never watched it.
Speaker 1: So that's probably hasn't answer the question properly, but I
Speaker 1: think that makes it memorable. Yeah, but it's funny. And
Speaker 1: my friend Else is in she lives in America now,
Speaker 1: and she was meant to be over last weekend. I
Speaker 1: mean to see her, but she can't. Her in a
Speaker 1: family chapter Washington, DC. So so that I think that's
Speaker 1: probably why it's frun to mind, because that's great, I'll
Speaker 1: take it. M what's the film we most relate to?
Speaker 1: Right rata TWI. Now I haven't gone answer to this.
Speaker 1: I was like, I literally done, I'm going to do
Speaker 1: this properly. You know, I'm related to anything about She'll
Speaker 1: get well and going what are you about? I was like,
Speaker 1: I packed up, mate. I had this idea of like
Speaker 1: genuinely trying to convince you as the mouse in matter TWI,
Speaker 1: and then we'll give me a hand and what do
Speaker 1: you think? What kind of do I think relates to you? What? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like what character? What film? Because I literally was like,
Speaker 1: and I'm want to do this for I'm gonna you know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna know. And I appreciate that. And I was
Speaker 1: not very well. It was like I think I got
Speaker 1: annoyed at the question. That's not a dig at the show.
Speaker 1: I was just annoyed. I was like, I have fucking none. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it didn't stress me out, but I think I lost
Speaker 1: my temper. Yeah, but is everyone else answered it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: even everyone goes, oh, this one's really hard, and then
Speaker 1: they they answer it. So I did not answer it,
Speaker 1: all right, probably you know you know the Godfather, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's an extra in that at the wedding. Yeah, who
Speaker 1: doesn't It doesn't ever leave the table he sat at.
Speaker 1: Yeah him, that's it. Yeah. Is he bleeding out at
Speaker 1: the wedding? So he probably did extra? Yeah, or an
Speaker 1: extra in east Enders, just an extra who who's told
Speaker 1: to just nobody do it? Yeah, just go to the toilet,
Speaker 1: just talk, move your mouth and don't make any noise,
Speaker 1: because that's what I love. I'm fucking obsessed with extras.
Speaker 1: In all I watched these days, I did. Sometimes there's
Speaker 1: what's that brilliant one about the there's a it's a
Speaker 1: Channel four thing about the Once Spires kind of the world. Anyway,
Speaker 1: there's a bit where they walk down this really long corridor,
Speaker 1: really wide, big corridor, and I was going through one
Speaker 1: am I watching the extra's phase and in this kind
Speaker 1: of three minute monolog unfortunately they'd use quite a distinctive
Speaker 1: extra and he walked past six times. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: uh oh yeah. The other thing I was when I
Speaker 1: was in I was doing this thing and that in
Speaker 1: him and Her as a wedding. I sat at table.
Speaker 1: I didn't really do much in the episodes, so I
Speaker 1: sat at this table and I was I was just
Speaker 1: sort of sitting there watching, you know, like kind of
Speaker 1: watching people that directed. But there's six other people on
Speaker 1: my table. They was really impressive. They set out their
Speaker 1: own little play on the table that they did silently
Speaker 1: like and they did it the same every time. It
Speaker 1: was it was unbelievable. So I was like, but they
Speaker 1: hadn't included me, so sort of things were getting past
Speaker 1: across me without me kind of you know what I
Speaker 1: looked for. My my favorite thing to look out for
Speaker 1: a new see it is it's people in the background.
Speaker 1: Usually if it's like a restaurant scene or a bar scene,
Speaker 1: so there's a couple talking in the background, and what
Speaker 1: happens is you see what's happened through the day. Because
Speaker 1: at the beginning they've gone professional nod mouths and works.
Speaker 1: But as the days goes on, they start to get
Speaker 1: to know each other and they'll actually try and have
Speaker 1: a conversation moving but what if you watch, you'll always
Speaker 1: see one extra go what because they are trying to
Speaker 1: genuinely understand what each is saying. So always be someone
Speaker 1: going what again. The other unrealistic thing about extras is
Speaker 1: obviously they're meant to be a crowd or people. There's
Speaker 1: when the planets. There's never a knows you prick, you know,
Speaker 1: like I don't know about you. But you walk down
Speaker 1: the road and you see something, so m's going on?
Speaker 1: Even if it's like a slight noise, you look at it.
Speaker 1: Another bloody good stay. They're told not to look at
Speaker 1: the action, say, look at the fight going and over there.
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. It's just it's so like a hand grenade
Speaker 1: goes off and they just kind of keep walking because
Speaker 1: they're told not to look at the action, whereas me,
Speaker 1: like someone drops five P and I stop and have
Speaker 1: a good step feel. Yeah, exactly, that's what real life
Speaker 1: is it just nosing. One of my favorite bits in
Speaker 1: Super Bob is there's a bit where I take off,
Speaker 1: where I fly up there are two extras and one
Speaker 1: looks that way and they're right next to each as
Speaker 1: if as if I've exploded in I watched his arm
Speaker 1: and I watched his shoulder. Yeah, what is the here
Speaker 1: we go, Joelson, I'm really curious where you're going to
Speaker 1: go with this one. What's the sexiest film you've ever seen? Well?
Speaker 1: I didn't, but I took this question now I wanted to. Basically,
Speaker 1: I just took it. Who have I fancied most in
Speaker 1: the film? Absolutely not the correct ways to say, because
Speaker 1: some people sort of said, like, oh, the whole film
Speaker 1: made me feel as well as I whatever, not than that.
Speaker 1: Who did I fancy most in a film ever? Was
Speaker 1: Helen Neren in The Long Good Friday? Really now that
Speaker 1: is a dinner party? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, especially the real
Speaker 1: I told they asked me to audition for a thing
Speaker 1: that she was in the audition, But I was like,
Speaker 1: that would be real, haven't it? And I'll fancy you
Speaker 1: in the seventies? You in Sally Field does it go? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And Audrey Hepburn More am I heading off? M I? Yeah?
Speaker 1: She that that's a that's a brilliant film. On Good
Speaker 1: Friday should be one of the Marswers. That's a good
Speaker 1: No One can I really feeling? I don't think of that.
Speaker 1: That is one of my favorite films. Let's just cut
Speaker 1: that in so much you just want to do on
Speaker 1: the records somewhere. Yeah, I do. So, It's like I
Speaker 1: always like I feel like other people in this sort
Speaker 1: of game. My favorite the film that I guess I
Speaker 1: love most his cloth something like that, and I feel
Speaker 1: like mine, like really naugh. I feel like one of
Speaker 1: your answers, one of the answers has to be a
Speaker 1: film that I haven't heard of for me to really respect.
Speaker 1: You don't know where the fair that far? That right?
Speaker 1: Agree to the question what sciatically traveling bone is worrying?
Speaker 1: Why dones? What films you found? A rosing you weren't
Speaker 1: sure you should know? And I didn't have I didn't
Speaker 1: agree with this one. I was like, I don't like,
Speaker 1: you know, like you can say, like, what's it Jessica
Speaker 1: Rabbit and all that, and nah, no you didn't. Just
Speaker 1: like it looks a bit like a woman done if
Speaker 1: it's not so. I was like, no, fantantically round bit
Speaker 1: around it. Nah? Really, Now I think I'm too clinical,
Speaker 1: Like that's a I'm thinking about the fifty two year
Speaker 1: old animator. Yeah, who's colored it? Yeah? Yeah, Blake, who's
Speaker 1: colored it in? Yeah? I'm not thinking about our cleavage.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about how long it we're taken in
Speaker 1: photoshop to do the bugger. So now I didn't really fight,
Speaker 1: like you know, I think someone said like a fox
Speaker 1: or something, and I was like, I haven't it. I don't. Sorry,
Speaker 1: So you've got zero all of the cast of all
Speaker 1: shipped down. Oh yeah, that's weird in no particular order.
Speaker 1: Absolutely test drips off all of them. Yeah. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: is coming in what is objectively the greatest film of
Speaker 1: all time. This again you'd I was like, right, do
Speaker 1: we have to fucking every question? No? But this is
Speaker 1: where this is where it's tense for me, because everyone
Speaker 1: else said because I feel like all my like, I
Speaker 1: feel like I started lying to myself because I was
Speaker 1: probably I was like, I really just want to fall
Speaker 1: in the middle. You don't mean now, I know, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to because I feel like like thickier
Speaker 1: or go off, you know what I mean? And I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, oh you do. I just
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll just say god Father and you know,
Speaker 1: like and then no one cares, you know, be boring,
Speaker 1: But I just I just I literally want to say.
Speaker 1: One other person that people respect has said, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like? Yeah, I was I was
Speaker 1: looking at you know, people are doing those five films
Speaker 1: where I was looking through and going, I write nose
Speaker 1: free or for other people, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: that were definitely those three or for other people there's
Speaker 1: like you, I was like, and I just I was like,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what I want to do with this question.
Speaker 1: I want to just go there's a pretty off kill
Speaker 1: to no one can say you're a Penis film saying it.
Speaker 1: So I was going to say, yeah, but I think
Speaker 1: my favorite, my favorite two films I thought about, but
Speaker 1: lots of love, lots of films but I liked. I
Speaker 1: thought I was going to say Midnight Run because it
Speaker 1: was on the other night and I was like, that's
Speaker 1: a good film, and and Cloth by an Italian it's not.
Speaker 1: It's got no sound, and it's one long shot of
Speaker 1: a from above right and yeah, and it's it's called
Speaker 1: cloth because it's it's a shot from above and it's
Speaker 1: a close up of this woman's blouse, really close up.
Speaker 1: It's called cloth. So that was too she she she
Speaker 1: was in there. It's a remake. I preferred the remake
Speaker 1: of Cloth. You will yeah, but I also wanted to
Speaker 1: put in like a thicky one which is stir Crazy. Nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love Stir Crazy. I think that's a brilliant film.
Speaker 1: I think that what I got from Stir Crazy was
Speaker 1: like it was that fucking brilliant where it went. It's
Speaker 1: like a kind of you know, it's a essentially an
Speaker 1: escape film, you know, like wrongly convicted and they decided
Speaker 1: to escape using a King Rodeo show. I was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is like, that's not your first idea,
Speaker 1: is it? Yeah, it's not your seven I shouldn't. I
Speaker 1: was good as getting your head stuck in a modern
Speaker 1: not but I was sort of yeah that that that
Speaker 1: film was just anything with Gene Walder and Richard Prior together.
Speaker 1: I even like silver Its silver Stream mystry Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was good. You know. So I don't know what god,
Speaker 1: you know, going back to your old question where it
Speaker 1: didn't stand up as much. I didn't love seeing no
Speaker 1: Evil here, no Evil as much when when I watched
Speaker 1: it again, but Stair Crazy stood up, really stood up,
Speaker 1: and there's some Yeah, so I think that was my
Speaker 1: proper answer. Midnight Run was my middle ground cloth was
Speaker 1: my that's the one you went everyone to think it was? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but my real answer stair Crazy. Can I just take
Speaker 1: it with you your time, because we've got there's a
Speaker 1: few to go. But guys, key goes fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1: What is the film you could or have? What's the
Speaker 1: maze that we get? This is the easiest one to
Speaker 1: answer for me, which is Porridge to move the movie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm almost word perfect with it. Really. Yeah, it's my
Speaker 1: happy place. That's nice. Yeah, it's um. I've heard a
Speaker 1: review of it, like, oh now, I saw a review
Speaker 1: on like I looked at an old what do you
Speaker 1: call it? Who was the bloke who's filmed eighty two
Speaker 1: or whatever? You remember that, Barry Norman? Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: think he said like it wasn't great or whatever, and
Speaker 1: I was confuming. I think the reason I love it
Speaker 1: was because for me, I loved Oorriginal favorite sitcom, and
Speaker 1: then I just got to watch a longer one. Is
Speaker 1: it like a longer episode? Is it like? What makes
Speaker 1: it a film? What makes it special? Did they go
Speaker 1: on a day in the prisoners well that it's an
Speaker 1: escape again? Is it? Yeah? But they they basically one
Speaker 1: of the one of the inmates, is trying to escape,
Speaker 1: to go anyway, and he they organize a celebrity football
Speaker 1: match and during the celebrity football match they escape. They
Speaker 1: take Ronnie Barker and Richard Becasel's character with him because
Speaker 1: they get caught up in it. And then this is
Speaker 1: the brilliant bit, they have to break back into prison
Speaker 1: because they haven't got really long left on their time.
Speaker 1: So it's just a great film and I just I
Speaker 1: think I love it because I love the characters. You
Speaker 1: get to see him again basically, and I didn't. There's
Speaker 1: a there's a follow on sit Pom called Going Straight Yeah,
Speaker 1: which isn't anywhere near as good as Porridge, but I
Speaker 1: watch it because there's just more of the characters again.
Speaker 1: And it's not great, but you just spend more time
Speaker 1: with them. I think that's why I love it, because
Speaker 1: you get more more time. It's not me with Bad
Speaker 1: Santa too. It's really not a good film, but I
Speaker 1: love the characters. Yeah. Yeah, it's just if you get
Speaker 1: it right and you love those characters and you just
Speaker 1: want to because absolute dogs it. I was happy to
Speaker 1: sit with him right now. But I think Poison Movie
Speaker 1: is really good and it's really funny, and I think
Speaker 1: like Dick Clement and he and a friend name funny,
Speaker 1: Like you read the script it's just like, oh god,
Speaker 1: the lines just keep god out. The take so many
Speaker 1: good lines in and they're not you know, and paper jokes.
Speaker 1: There's a serious answer. Sorry, but it's for me. It's
Speaker 1: not cloth. Two, it's nowhere near, but it's good cloth
Speaker 1: on the rum. Two. What is what is the film
Speaker 1: that's the worst film you've ever seen? Again, I'm happy
Speaker 1: to say this other people obviously sort of diplomatic, but
Speaker 1: did you ever see Coffee and cigarette? No, it's called
Speaker 1: coffee and cigarettes. Yeah, and you know what, You're fucking
Speaker 1: absolutely right, only film I've ever walked out in the cinema. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think I was the only person into I
Speaker 1: was thinking with someone else, but I think I said
Speaker 1: you should be ashamed yourself to no one. But that
Speaker 1: was for me to make myself laugh. And it was
Speaker 1: so bad, it was so um which called it up
Speaker 1: his own ass. Yeah, it's just different. Was it just different?
Speaker 1: Famous people drinking coffee and smoking in cafes or stuff?
Speaker 1: And yeah, there was nothing. I was so angry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So that easily the worst film. That and The Godfather.
Speaker 1: Godfather's a bad film, isn't it? Where it's so boring,
Speaker 1: so boring, boring the wedding. It doesn't even move for
Speaker 1: the entire when he steals the show, he steals the
Speaker 1: show from me. He's the one that sticks in your mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what is you in comedy? What's the film made laugh
Speaker 1: at mat spies like us? Is it? Yeah? Just at
Speaker 1: the time, I think Chevy Chase was just a brilliant
Speaker 1: funny man. Apparently is an ass off good things about him,
Speaker 1: which is a show, but he was Na, that's just
Speaker 1: I think it's a fish. I literally listened to podcast
Speaker 1: this morning and they said, who was it? I was talking.
Speaker 1: It was listening to Conan O'Brien with someone, Yeah, and
Speaker 1: they were talking about him hosting essenl or something, and
Speaker 1: it came badly and everyone in the comedy world being
Speaker 1: over the moon or something, and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's pretty official. Love it funny, Like it's like people
Speaker 1: think it's quite backstabbid, but I think it's quite supportive,
Speaker 1: like you know, if your friend, if your friend, you know,
Speaker 1: if your friends in something you don't want them to
Speaker 1: like crush and burn. But yeah, and if I watched
Speaker 1: it quite a few times and there's just some fucking funny,
Speaker 1: funny lines and funny bits in it, and it's just
Speaker 1: a stupid film and it makes me feel that. And
Speaker 1: Cloth three, which took I didn't know they made a trilogy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I went down here, but it was they tried it
Speaker 1: was it was the studio. Shi comed it basically right.
Speaker 1: They put two shots for the Yeah, they filmed in
Speaker 1: front of a live audience, which is never going to work.
Speaker 1: Have you seen spies? Have you seen spies like that? No?
Speaker 1: Have you not? You lot good films? I don't you like? No? No,
Speaker 1: do you know what I'm lying? I have seen it,
Speaker 1: because but I haven't seen it since I was a kid.
Speaker 1: And the truth is, I can't remember it that well,
Speaker 1: but I remember enjoying it, but I couldn't tell you
Speaker 1: a lot about it other than it was in a
Speaker 1: like string of films that I watched when I was little,
Speaker 1: like The Great Outdoors and that and still craze that
Speaker 1: all of those eyes together. But then that's the one
Speaker 1: I can't remember the least. That's the other thing in
Speaker 1: your podcast that comes up quite a lot where you
Speaker 1: go looking back, there's a sort of worrying kind of
Speaker 1: to it. And I was like, oh, you'd probably put
Speaker 1: you know, like you wouldn't. You wouldn't make that film
Speaker 1: now though, why you know, Well, there's this very sexist
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? The female characters are
Speaker 1: pretty much in their bra for a third event stuff,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? So you kind of
Speaker 1: go and when you watch you guys atterally you know,
Speaker 1: it's just just witting in that in this ba so
Speaker 1: weird night, isn't it? And it was so prevalent it
Speaker 1: just seemed like it was in the format of as
Speaker 1: comedies films. Yet every one bit where a woman's in
Speaker 1: it gets a boobs out and then we get back
Speaker 1: to a comedy like when posters were four three or
Speaker 1: four men looking through a woman's legs from behind. So
Speaker 1: I just got see how often I get text messages.
Speaker 1: We've been talking for an hour twenty that's the first text,
Speaker 1: and that was a group text. And it wasn't interested.
Speaker 1: That wasn't that was nothing to do with me. Basically,
Speaker 1: someone puts a picture of some herbs in their garden
Speaker 1: to the family WhatsApp quick, that's depressing. That sounds aful
Speaker 1: interaction I have with the world. Now, he's the thing, Joe,
Speaker 1: you've been You've actually done very well I know you're
Speaker 1: worried and you've treated this like a pub quiz. I
Speaker 1: didn't know how many points you've got. You've got about
Speaker 1: eleven out out of fifteen. She's pretty good. How did
Speaker 1: you score? It's really pretty good. And also what you
Speaker 1: have done is your practice. Your practice for your dinner
Speaker 1: party is amazing. Burn Sally Shield, Helen Mirriam. People are
Speaker 1: gonna be like the sophisticated professor made professor. You got it.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing, Jay, Fast and Furious six six,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. When you were at your cousin's wedding,
Speaker 1: it was actually your cousin's wedding. It was a joyous occasion,
Speaker 1: but you love your family and friends were there and
Speaker 1: you gone through. You've gone to toilet between starter and mains,
Speaker 1: came back to your seat along walking back the enemy. Notice,
Speaker 1: but you basically just walked into something. It's like poked
Speaker 1: her in the shoulder and broken the skin. But you
Speaker 1: had a bit to drink. You weren't that bothered. No
Speaker 1: one noticed. You sat down and you started bleeding out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's great. So then there were speeches. You were clapping,
Speaker 1: like every time you clapped, more guts would come out
Speaker 1: of the Yeah. Yeah, that's you, like an extra in
Speaker 1: the girdfather did not get up from the table the
Speaker 1: whole time. And you you thought it was sweaty because
Speaker 1: it's hot, but it was actually blood. You were just
Speaker 1: covered but bleeding out all over your suit. I was
Speaker 1: wearing a red suit and a red shirt as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so no one thought anything of it, including you. That's fine.
Speaker 1: You went in the back of the room. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you start again. I'm tired. I'm tired, a bit feel
Speaker 1: a bit tired, actually, and your partner was like, came on,
Speaker 1: and then the first dance happened. Everyone got up, went
Speaker 1: over to my first at last, sitting here, I'll stay here.
Speaker 1: You continued to bleed out, and then New York, New
Speaker 1: York happened, and then everyone's dancing. Four hours later. I've
Speaker 1: had the time of my life. And you, your body
Speaker 1: finally fell onto the Marquee floor dead. You bled out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no one noticed. They were all still kicking their legs.
Speaker 1: One more, one more to the DJ, and he said, no, honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm done by the council, and the place shut down.
Speaker 1: The lights came out. Everyone's going to get Uber's out
Speaker 1: of the front. Yeah. Months later, I'm walking through a field,
Speaker 1: I'm like Sally Fields. I'm looking for Sally Fields, and
Speaker 1: there I find you, absolutely rotted into the ground where
Speaker 1: the marquee was. No one with a carrot on my arm,
Speaker 1: a carrot up. You are someone that draw a d
Speaker 1: your head. So awful wedding. I know anyway, you're in
Speaker 1: the right hel state. There were bits of mudden ground
Speaker 1: that stuck to you. I'll come over. I brought this
Speaker 1: coffin that I thought was the size of you. It's
Speaker 1: a bit too small, so imember to chop you up,
Speaker 1: smash you all in a put this coffee right, and
Speaker 1: then I mush it up and it's rammed in there. Right.
Speaker 1: It's only really room in this coffin for one DVD
Speaker 1: and for me to slide in the side for you
Speaker 1: to take on the other side, and on the other
Speaker 1: side of this movie night. Every night, one night it's
Speaker 1: your movie night. What film are you taking to show
Speaker 1: everyone in heaven when it's your movie? Like missus Joe Winson,
Speaker 1: I'll take the DVD of that wedding. You're going to
Speaker 1: take a wedding the wedding video where where I bled
Speaker 1: out Okay, I want to take the video that was
Speaker 1: recorded of that wedding when in the background I show
Speaker 1: you bled out. I'm going to allow it. I'magically going
Speaker 1: to allow it because I think it would work as
Speaker 1: a document in the same way as Gimme Sountard does.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna allow it. Thank you, Joe Workers.
Speaker 1: Is there anything you'd like to tell people to look
Speaker 1: out for? What's what's to look out for? Golden Girls
Speaker 1: is on Channel five? Is really they're playing all the
Speaker 1: Golden Girls and they really though, are you in TK?
Speaker 1: They really? Yeah? What's it called? This? The one show?
Speaker 1: It's worth watching? Is it? Yeah? Because they you know,
Speaker 1: people are scalping in from now, which is fascinating. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Golden Girls in the one show. That's what I'd tell
Speaker 1: people to watch out for. Joe Workings, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for your time. And you're this isn't going out,
Speaker 1: is it? I mean, it's going to take a heavy edit,
Speaker 1: but it will. Thank you for doing this. I'm going
Speaker 1: to stop the recording and say good night to good
Speaker 1: night night. So that was episode one hundred and fifty two.
Speaker 1: Head over to patreon dot com, Forward slash Brett Goldstein
Speaker 1: for the extra twenty minutes of chat Secrets with Joe.
Speaker 1: Go to Apple Podcasts, give us a five star rating
Speaker 1: and write about the film that means the most to
Speaker 1: you and why it's lovely to read. It helps numbers
Speaker 1: and it is really appreciated by me and my neighbor Maury.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much to Joe for doing the show,
Speaker 1: Thanks for Scrubious Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks
Speaker 1: to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks to ACRS for
Speaker 1: hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardson with the graphics and
Speaker 1: Lease Aladdin for the photography. Join me next week for
Speaker 1: another smasher of our guests. And that is it for now.
Speaker 1: I hope you are all well in the meantime, have
Speaker 1: a lovely week, and please be excellent to each other.
Speaker 1: That was un concept was uncusts. That was unct