WEBVTT - Slip N Slide 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:16.439 I Do Part Two is a unique podcast that is 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:18.919 all about finding love again. Maybe you didn't get it 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:21.319 right the first time, or maybe you had love and 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:23.560 you lost it and now you are getting back out 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:25.400 into the dating scene. Well, I'm one of your hosts, 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:28.080 Jana Kramer, and today I wanted to touch base with one 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:31.639 of our celebrity mentors you love her on this podcast, 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:36.480 former Real Housewife of New York Ellie Benzimone. Kelly, Can 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:40.040 I just first just can we just talk about how 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:46.040 beautiful you looked at the iHeartRadio jingle Balls, jingle Balls, 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:52.440 jingle Bells, jingle Ball jingle Balls. I mean, you just 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:55.680 and it was so funny my husband when you know, 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:57.760 I had my husband come in and meet everyone because 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.200 he hasn't met that I Do Part two crew. I 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:01.840 was like, I feel like I've seen her. I was like, 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:03.880 she was probably up like on a you know, like 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:05.800 you probably had her on your walls or something because 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:08.160 she's she's she's a model, she's beauty. He's like, yeah, 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:10.280 she's like, she's she's a beautiful lady. I was like, 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:11.240 I know, she's stunning. 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:14.319 Thank you, that's so nice. 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:17.200 Oh my god, you guys, youse are the greatest couple. 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:20.920 You guys are so sweet and loving and just oh god, 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:22.559 you're just like the perfect couple. 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:25.479 Thank you, thank you. I mean that's very sweet to say. 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:27.480 I don't know if there's do you actually believe that 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:28.479 there's a perfect couple. 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:31.920 I believe. I mean you guys have that. 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:34.080 I mean, you guys have just like nice, really just 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:38.160 quality energy. It's just like, you know, he's really respectful 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.240 of you and you're really respectful of him. 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:43.000 And I just think that's just like those are that's 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:44.040 those are like a couple. 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:47.000 Goals when you have like the you know i mutual admiration, 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:47.920 mutual respect. 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:51.440 That's just I mean, thank you, and it's you know, 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:52.160 it's Jenny has. 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:56.040 The word too perfect, is yeah, and is yeah. 0:01:56.320 --> 0:02:01.120 I'm just the one odd one out. Oh not at all. 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:06.680 But let's let's talk about Oh oh my, says the model, 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:12.120 says the you know, beautiful, tall, thin model. So let's 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:16.679 let's take it back to Los Angeles because we let's 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:19.280 well we'll take it back all all the way to LA. 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:21.320 But also, you know, you shared some things on the 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:23.359 last podcast that we did that you know, you've been 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:25.959 kind of talking to two different people, so I want 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:27.680 to I want to touch on that, but I also 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.239 want to see you know, we had some listeners come 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:35.799 out and what was what what was the vibe? Like 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:38.400 did how did it? How did it go for for 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:42.160 you and and the listeners there? Was there anything that 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:47.200 you noticed or anything happened that I didn't see because 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:51.600 I was truth be told. I you know, I'm I'm 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:54.680 kind of old in the area where it's like I 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.600 always prefer to go home and be in my cozy's. 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:59.239 But I'm like, you know what, babe, I'm like, there's 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:02.480 a VI piece that we're invited to. Let's go up 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:04.480 there and just have some fun. And I'm so glad 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:06.959 we did because it was genuinely such a good time. 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:09.720 But I saw you guys over there, and you know, 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:11.160 I was I was rootin and I'm like, all right, 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:12.920 I hope, I hope it's going good. But what was 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:13.520 your thoughts? 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:15.919 Well, first of all, I saw you and your cozy slippers, 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:17.480 so you're I did that. 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:19.080 I was like, that was the only way with me, 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:20.720 I'll make it. I'm like, if I'm going up there, 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:23.760 I'm changing my heels to slippers so I can still 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:26.800 all still rock the outfit, but like I need to 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:28.760 be somewhat cozy, right. 0:03:28.840 --> 0:03:31.480 I love that you look so good, and I was 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:32.120 super jealous. 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:34.280 I was like, oh god, it's like I'm like in 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:35.880 these like sky I was like, literally, I think it 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:39.280 was like six to one on Friday night, which was 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:43.400 which was fun and tall and they're just you know, 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:47.840 the guests were just they're really they're really really nice girls, 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.200 really really nice and they've been through so much. So 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:53.080 when we were we were in the car, you weren't 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:55.680 in the car with us, and I sat in the 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:59.360 back with them and was just listening to their stories 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.360 and they were telling me their stories I mean of 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:04.600 just infidelity, and I mean. 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:08.640 I was shocked. I was really. 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:12.080 Shocked at to hear the stories that these guests had 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:12.520 gone through. 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:14.520 I mean I was really really shocked. 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:17.800 And so that even gave me more of an impetus 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:21.640 to be like, let's have fun at ihear and just 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:22.480 you know, have so. 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:23.520 Much fun ging gole ball. 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:26.480 You know, I always feel like I was actually talking 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.719 to my young my oldest daughter about this. I always 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:31.200 feel like when you're in a situation like that, it's 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:35.200 not always like you're looking to date someone. But it's 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:39.080 just nice to just genuinely be open to meeting a 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.919 lot of different people. And you know, I saw a 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:45.200 lot of people that I knew and I just was 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.680 literally walking around with them and I introduced them to 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:51.120 Like I literally was just smiling at people and people 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.520 were like hi and I. It was literally just introducing 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:59.080 them to absolutely everyone that was responding to you know, 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:05.160 six foot one smiling woman. It was It was really, 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:06.800 it was fun. We had a really really good time. 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:08.760 We had a really good time. He one one guy 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:10.320 was there and he was like talking to us and 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:12.640 he was having a great He had like serious jewelry 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:14.719 game on, like these massive diamonds and I was talking 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.040 about this jewey and his wife came out. She was 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:18.400 like what did he say. I was like, I don't know, 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.760 but that jewelry game is firing. She was really cute 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.800 and funny, and so we had a really nice time 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:26.720 just like chatting with them. And afterwards they were like, 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:28.520 you can't you told you were talking to the wife. 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:31.360 I'm like, so, I'm like, by the way, like you're 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.839 single and I'm single. You never know who people know 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:34.760 and they could be like, oh my god. 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:35.559 She was really fun. 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:38.600 She you know, was just talking to us and she's 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:42.560 you know, just having a good time, and like I 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:44.920 couldn't care less if she's married or not. Like I'm 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:46.760 not trying to go after her husband. I'm just having 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.280 meeting people and having a good time. So we had 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:51.000 had a lot of fun. You know, I had a 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:51.520 lot of fun. 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:52.640 Introducing them to a lot of people. 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:55.640 But with like what you just said, some of my 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:59.320 best like memories of even going out is I've met 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:03.120 actually girlfriends from going out and being places. And so 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:07.760 whether it's a love connection or you know, a man connections, 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:10.800 it's usually it's a people connection. You know, I met 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:12.680 one of my best friends in the middle seat of 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:15.880 a Southwest flight, you know. So it's like I think 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:19.480 it's being open to any connection when you go up. 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.040 I mean, they got to meet Teddy, they got to 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:25.360 hang out, they were hanging out with me, They got 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:27.120 to meet a lot of people that they probably wouldn't 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:30.360 have met from you know, the Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette. 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.320 There were a lot of people that they got to meet. 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:37.840 And to your point, you know, you never know who 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:39.880 you're going to meet and how you're going to meet people. 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:43.000 And so I was just talking to everybody, and I 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.440 think that's really I mean, just from my own experience, 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:47.040 that's how you meet great people. 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:49.520 It's just being out and about and. 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:52.360 People just see your energy and feel your energy and 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:54.159 you're having a good time. They're like, oh my god, 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.600 that looks like a good crew. Let's get to know them. 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:59.600 It was about the experience, and I think, like, you know, 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:03.440 and for me, like, okay, obviously I'm there and my 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:05.880 husband's on my arm, but like I got to sit 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.480 next to Ali, you know, Larder, and I was like, 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:11.960 that's cool. Like I've always thought she's an amazing actress. 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:15.120 And I took this was kind like and it took 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.240 me a second. Well, she was like it took me 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.560 kind of. I'm like, really weird when it comes to 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:22.560 like people were there receipts or whatever, and you know, 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:23.880 some of the interns were like do you want to 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:25.800 sit down? Like no, no, like you are sitting like 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:28.680 just because like you sit, you know what I mean. Like, 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:30.680 so we stood up in the back like for for 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:32.040 most of it, and then they got up and they're 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:33.640 like no, sit down. I'm like no, like seriously. But 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:35.240 then I'm like okay, fine, Like when you do that, 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:36.720 I'm like, all right, all right, fine, we'll sit now. 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:40.680 So when we sat down, I notice is really beautiful 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:42.680 blonde next to me, and they were they were trying 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:44.840 to like take a photo, and I'm like, I'll take 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:46.680 it for you. But when I took her phone to 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.480 like take the photo, I was like, oh, that's Ali Larder, 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.920 you know what I mean. And I'm like, like, she's 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:55.160 like I love her work, and well no, but and 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:56.840 like I'm like, I know, she has no idea who 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:59.720 I am. She's got to probably think that or she 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:02.600 probably saw that I registered it while I'm taking their photo, 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:04.480 you know what i mean, like her and her friend's photo. 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:06.920 So I'm like this is cool. But then I'm like 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:08.560 her foot her camera was kind of dirty, so I 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.000 like cleaned it, you know what I mean, and like 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:12.960 it sound like and then like I took, I took 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:15.720 a picture of them. But that to that point, it 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:17.480 was like it was an experience and like I didn't 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:18.920 know that. I was like that was cool. I got 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:21.040 to like have an interaction with her, and then you know, 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:23.760 I've got to you know, run and have you know, 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.160 see Teddy again and give her a hug and squeeze 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:29.440 her and then see you know, the the Golden Bachelorettes, Like. 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:32.360 It was there just so fun there. 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:34.840 Yeah, they're just they're so fun, so beautiful and so 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:37.719 vibrant and you know, so yeah. I think it's all 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:43.480 about when you go into dating worlds to remember the 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:45.839 experience of it, because there's always going to be a 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.720 new experience one one doesn't look the same. And to 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:52.680 go on that. Was there anything that came up for 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.640 you in La? Were there any old flames that might 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:57.720 have texted you, Kelly, or did you have any run 0:08:57.760 --> 0:08:58.640 ins when you were there? 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.400 One of my clos was like, oh, let's let's get drinks. 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:03.400 And I'm like okay. 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.120 And we're sitting there and he's telling me how he 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:08.880 owns this vineyard and I'm like that's great, you know, 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:11.320 I'm just listening to him. And then he was telling 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.800 me how he's, uh, he's a player. 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:19.440 I was like, what what guy wants? What guy just 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:20.679 like that? 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:23.439 And I'm just like that doesn't make me. First of all, 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:24.120 you're my client. 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:28.400 Second, that doesn't make me wanting to jump up on you. 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:33.720 And then and then he goes, you know how. 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:36.760 Old was he, he said, in like sixties, mid sixties. 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:38.400 Then he goes to me again, that makes sense, Telly. 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:41.280 He's like, I really, I really don't like brunettes. But 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:42.160 I'm okay with you. 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:45.200 Oh my gosh, we are not. I'm not allowing you 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:47.520 to date him. I'm sorry. I'm going to pull the 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:49.640 mother card on this and you cannot date him. And 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.920 it's not for you who says that. 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:54.840 I have no idea. 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:57.200 I think that you know, listen, as hard as it 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:59.719 is for girls, it's the same thing with guts. And 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.520 you know, we were talking, you know about like, you know, 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:04.360 our game, That's what we were. 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:05.040 Talking about together. 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:09.720 And you know, some people just think that this kind 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:15.720 of like being aloof or saying things like I'm so great, 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:16.400 who are you? 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:19.080 Is going to make the other person like you more? 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.680 But does Like I can see right through that. I'm like, okay, whatever, 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:23.520 I'm happy to. 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.520 Like, you know, chat with you and have. 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.720 Fun and you know, have a glass of wine and 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:31.840 talk to you about what you're where you're you know, 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:33.560 what you're doing with your real estate career. 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:36.480 But I'm just not like that is not happening. That 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:37.320 does not work for me. 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:39.720 That's not happening. But at the concert, though, I did 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:45.120 hear from someone saying that you were a little flirty. 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.920 Who were you flirting with? 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:49.640 I don't know who was I find that's amazing. I 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.600 was flirting. I love it. 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:52.560 You don't even know. 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:53.880 Oh my god. 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.000 There was a photographer that I know that he's so 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:59.079 cute and he's always like he's like, hell, you're very flirtatious. 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:02.840 I think that, Like, I'm just very easy around men. 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:04.439 And you know, I don't know if you knows. I 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:07.520 have a twin brother, and so I'm just very relaxed 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:08.240 around men. 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:10.680 Like the diamond guy. 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:12.920 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, the 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:17.160 diamond guy that was married, yeah, Kelly, I didn't know, 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:19.840 never ring. And then his wife came out and I 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.120 was like, yeah, he's got great game, he's got diamonds 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:25.040 and he's fun and I know that guy. 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:26.440 Oh okay, got it. 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:26.719 Got it? 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:28.559 You know. I always say too, like you never know, 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:31.360 like who you're going to meet and who they might know, 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:32.959 do you know what I mean? Like you may be 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:35.280 like he might be like, hey, you guys, like I'm married, 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:36.839 but you should meet my friend. 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:38.560 He's over there in the suite, like you never know, 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:39.120 you don't know. 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:42.160 I met a vegan farmer. He was the other another 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.360 guy that like, I just smiled at him. 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.080 He was like hey, and I don't know. 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.679 I started starting, you know, striking up a conversation for 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:53.240 the two guests, my two friends, my two new friends, 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:56.559 and like, you know, he's telling me about being a 0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:59.480 vegan farmer. And that's when I found out about, you know, 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.160 this whole thing with my with my love of gummy 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.840 bears and how it's you know, completely over because everything 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:07.640 is going to be all natural and healthy and my 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:08.640 life is so much better. 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:09.080 It's fine. 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:13.400 But he was very cute and then yeah, and then 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:15.600 the woman came out and she was like. 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:17.160 That's my husband. I was like, okay, great. 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:20.800 One thing about this whole thing about like meeting people 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:25.800 that I'm married, is that if you're if you're married, 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.600 if your husband or wife are married, and you can 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.320 walk around and have fun with someone who's not, that's 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.720 a true testament to the relationship you have with your wife. 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.040 I Mean there's men that are like looking for people 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:38.760 that's totally inappropriate if you're married, but like, if you 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:41.000 can have fun with people in general and just like 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.920 laugh with them, Like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with like, 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:48.079 you know, smiling and like having like a fun little banter. 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:49.959 With the opposite sex. Zero. 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:54.520 What is wrong is engaging in inappropriate activity That is wrong, 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.160 like being like hey, can I get your number exactly? 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.520 Or if you find out that the person is you know, misleading, 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:04.640 married or or you know, has a wife, that's when 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.280 you're like, you know, you need to be respectful. 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.400 Of course, of course. 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.880 I mean I know, I've I've been married and I've 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.800 had women be disrespectful to me and to my marriage, 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:18.440 so I know what that feels like. 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:24.880 So yeah, yeah, yeah, same. But you like we're like same, 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.559 same z is how does a girl up to a 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:32.320 man at their own, you know, bachelor party and slide 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.040 their number? Like that's just so disrespectful, Like don't don't 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:37.320 go up to the groom, you know and give your 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:38.640 number or have. 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.520 The groom tell me like that he should have married me. 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:57.280 Oh yeah, speaking of though, because we've both been in 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:01.800 some you know, not great relationships with good not great men, 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.360 what is the quality that you're most looking for now 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:09.480 in a relationship from oh, from a man, Like, what's 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:12.480 the quality that you are hoping like what's the number 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:14.000 one quality you want them to have? 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:17.640 You know, I was talking to my therapist today. 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:21.280 We were talking about this exact question, and it's safety. 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:25.120 It's just this emotion. I'm craving this emotional safety. 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.320 It's like I I give this to my kids, to 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:31.120 my friends, you know, I make them feel like they 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:33.240 don't have they don't have anything in the world to 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:34.920 worry about as long as I'm their friend. 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:36.600 But I don't feel like that. 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:40.800 And that's one thing that I'm craving is just to 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.960 be able to be like, hey, you had a great podcast, 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.560 or it's reading outside, or you know, just stupid things 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:52.240 that are just I just want to like include that 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.000 person in my life with all of those different things 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.640 that have happened, whether they're significant or insignificant. I mean 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:02.920 basically every thing that happens to your partner significant if 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.280 you really really care about them. And emotional safety, I 0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:08.760 think is something that like I've never had and I'm 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:10.600 I'm craving it. 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:15.800 Right, Yeah, No, I I definitely. And that's there's a 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:20.040 there's such a safety like what it does for your soul. 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.240 Having that safe safety, it gives you so much, like 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:25.400 that peace is just that feels it's not chaotic, you know, 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:28.200 like you can really just kind of rest and rest 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:31.160 in peace, and that's a that's a really beautiful place 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:31.400 to be. 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:37.040 Yeah, I don't know what that's like, but I'm looking 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:37.360 for it. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.720 And I'm going that's the thing out of the two 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:41.680 guys that you talked about, because on the last episode 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.920 you talked about two guys that you or I mean, 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:47.640 I wouldn't say you're like deciding between, but you're also 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:51.440 just entertaining both. Is there one that you feel more 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:54.560 safe with? Like is that maybe where you'll where you'll 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:57.040 end up or is it because I almost think, okay, 0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:02.160 and maybe this is wrong, But so I was talking 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:05.400 to a guy when I was you know, and we 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:08.080 were not official or anything like that. We were just 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:10.000 kind of casually dating, and you know, and then I 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:14.040 met Alan. I knew immediately. I was like, he's done. 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:16.920 This is my person, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:20.200 I just I just knew, like I didn't even want 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:26.040 to entertain anybody else. Well luctually that was even before. 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:28.000 But at the time, like I was, wasn't talking to anyone, 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:29.600 and then when I started talking to Alan, he kind 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:31.440 of came back around. He's like texting me like, hey, 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:34.720 you know, and I'm like, no, like, I actually like, 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:36.600 I don't want anything. I don't want to be with 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:39.720 you at all. So is it do you think the 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:41.760 fact that you're even kind of like hmming and hauling 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.400 one or the other that neither one of them might 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.280 not because it's like you don't have a strong pull 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:47.000 for one. 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:50.360 You know, I think that. I mean, I wish I could. 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:51.560 I wish I could blame. 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:55.440 Them, but I'm gonna have to blame myself for this 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.360 at this time, you know, because we've only been I've 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:03.680 only been going through this new metamorphosis for the past 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:09.359 you know, month, six weeks, and so I'm starting to 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:13.560 recognize the things that I want and that I I 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:14.520 am going to get. 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:15.960 And so. 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:20.080 Whether these guys are the greatest guys in the world, 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:22.680 you know, I really like both of them. 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:23.560 I think they're great. 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.880 I mean, I think that one of them is really 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:28.919 a really, really amazing guy. I just don't know like 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:32.720 where he is and in terms of like where we 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:34.440 would be in our life, because I mean, I want 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:36.280 to get It's not people are like, do you want 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:38.720 to get married? It's not that I want to get married, 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:41.800 but I want a committed relationship and I want a 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:44.119 family for my family. That's what I've always wanted to 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:47.720 stay one. That's why I got divorced, Like, I want 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:50.680 a family for my family. And so I'm looking for 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:55.160 that man who is going to be that partner in 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:57.439 love crime with me and Mike and me and my 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:02.000 family and his family. And I'm getting closer to understanding 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:05.600 what I really want. And one thing that my therapist 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:09.520 and I were talking about today is just there's there's manifesting, 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.159 which was so great when I wrote that letter to 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:16.159 my future husband. It really put a different narrative in 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:19.520 my head versus the you know what's wrong with me? 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.880 What you know? People don't like me? Do I like them? 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:23.320 You know? 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:24.040 Just all of this. 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:28.040 Self doubt And so now she was, She's like, I 0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:32.080 really want you to be proactive about talking positively about 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:36.280 yourself and about what you really really want. 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:38.720 And what you deserve too, because I think that's where 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:43.040