Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are
Speaker 1: you a Charlotte. Well, this is a special, special, interesting,
Speaker 1: different episode that we're going to do of our year
Speaker 1: Charlotte with Kelly Rizzo. Kelly it was married to Bob Sagett,
Speaker 1: who I knew, not really well, right, so we've never met,
Speaker 1: but I know that you have a very very interesting
Speaker 1: story about unfortunately Bob's horrible, horribly untimely passing. And I
Speaker 1: just want to say, yes, I did know Bob.
Speaker 2: I knew Bob for.
Speaker 3: Two reasons to hear, okay, okay, so excited.
Speaker 1: One is Stay mos Okay, who I did a play with.
Speaker 1: And you know, Bob was such a huge part of
Speaker 1: his life that like, you know, you would just like
Speaker 1: on the.
Speaker 3: Phone with him, you know anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So there was this stay Moost connection.
Speaker 3: And then and I'd known John.
Speaker 2: I known John before we did the play of the play.
Speaker 1: I want to say it was like twenty twelve maybe, okay,
Speaker 1: like a while ago.
Speaker 3: And then also stand Up for.
Speaker 1: Pitts, which is Reka Cory's foundation for pitbull I yes, yes,
Speaker 1: Bob would often come and do comedy for free for
Speaker 1: the benefit, so sweetly and so funny, and he'd be
Speaker 1: on the red carpet and cracking jokes, and you know,
Speaker 1: he had just had such a beautiful way about him,
Speaker 1: and you know, he was so different than his you know.
Speaker 3: Full House character.
Speaker 4: Honestly, Yes, yes, people were very surprised people could find.
Speaker 1: Out about the real Box exactly exactly. But I think
Speaker 1: the thing that was similar about and I didn't really
Speaker 1: watch a lot of Full House. I was always so
Speaker 1: surprised by how people would react to John as well.
Speaker 1: He had I think, energetically similarities, you know.
Speaker 2: Which is true.
Speaker 1: I think for a lot of actors, right, Like the
Speaker 1: character is very different, but energetically very similar. Like even
Speaker 1: if he was telling the most X rated joke, you know,
Speaker 1: he's so joyful.
Speaker 4: He was very lovable and cuddly yea, and he still
Speaker 4: loved hugging people, you know, just like Danny Tanner exactly.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, we'll put, we'll put.
Speaker 1: So he was he was just a force and it
Speaker 1: was just so so sad and I felt for you
Speaker 1: so much when he thank you. I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: so shocking, you know, you just don't feel like that
Speaker 1: can happen.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's still and I can go right back to
Speaker 4: that moment and in an instant of just how shocking
Speaker 4: it was. And that's why I was so excited to
Speaker 4: be able to chat with you about this, because I
Speaker 4: had such a special, intrinsic, unique moment of my life
Speaker 4: that tied in with and just like that, I mean
Speaker 4: Sex and the City of course. And by the way,
Speaker 4: you had an episode recently where you were talking to
Speaker 4: your guest and they're like, I've seen the whole series
Speaker 4: through like five times, and I.
Speaker 3: Was like, five times, that's amateur. And that's what everyone
Speaker 3: said on Instagram too. I was like, Oh, it was
Speaker 3: so funny.
Speaker 4: But yeah, so you know, obviously that was such a
Speaker 4: big part of my life, but to then have it
Speaker 4: tie in so interestingly too and just like that, I
Speaker 4: was like, We've got to talk about this because it
Speaker 4: was so unbelievable just how it happened. And it was
Speaker 4: a really strange life imitating art type situation that actually
Speaker 4: happened to me right right, which.
Speaker 1: Is you know, it's like, I think I've been told
Speaker 1: that I sound like a victim about and just like that,
Speaker 1: so I'm not going to do that, but I do
Speaker 1: want to say one of the things about and just
Speaker 1: like that that we wanted to do and I do
Speaker 1: think we did, is to talk about things that start
Speaker 1: to happen to you when you are lucky enough to
Speaker 1: live past fifty. Yeah, and you know, people maybe didn't
Speaker 1: want to see that. I don't know, but I do
Speaker 1: think it's really real. And I think for many people
Speaker 1: that I see and meet and run into, you know,
Speaker 1: they have some connection, they want to tell me, you know,
Speaker 1: this happened to me, and that happened to me, and
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's important to tell those.
Speaker 4: It's so important. And that's why, you know, I'd never
Speaker 4: really thought about grief before or death until I lost Bob,
Speaker 4: and then it kind of became almost all I was
Speaker 4: talking about. And then you realize when it's something that
Speaker 4: becomes so normalized to you, it's still not normalized to
Speaker 4: other people. And talking about grief and death was still
Speaker 4: and has been still very kind of taboo, which is
Speaker 4: so sad, right, which because it happens to everybody, it's
Speaker 4: like we're all going to experience it in one way
Speaker 4: or another. And it just became so normalized for me.
Speaker 4: And so it is interesting then because I just two
Speaker 4: days ago went back and rewatched those episodes because I
Speaker 4: hadn't seen them since the day before, not even the.
Speaker 3: Day before, hours before pop my.
Speaker 1: Got okay, so let's tell our listeners this story because
Speaker 1: it's it's so crazy to me.
Speaker 3: It is really crazy, right.
Speaker 4: So, Kelly was a fan, you know, obviously had grown
Speaker 4: up on Sex and the City since I was in college,
Speaker 4: and I hadn't seen it so many times and it.
Speaker 3: Was such a big part of my life and loved it,
Speaker 3: loved it, loved it.
Speaker 4: And then I had just started watching and just like
Speaker 4: that because it was you know, season one, episode one,
Speaker 4: and I think I'd been putting it off because I'm like, okay,
Speaker 4: I want to really dig in when I can give
Speaker 4: it some proper attention. And Bob was out of town
Speaker 4: doing he was on tour. He was in Florida, and
Speaker 4: he had done one show the night before, and then
Speaker 4: he was doing a show that night. And this was
Speaker 4: now January eighth, twenty twenty two, and I was lying
Speaker 4: in bed with COVID.
Speaker 3: I felt awful. I had the worst sore throat.
Speaker 4: I was just miserable, and I'm constantly texting Bob like
Speaker 4: I don't understand, like I should be getting better by now,
Speaker 4: and he's like giving me all these instructions of you know,
Speaker 4: what meds to take and you know what to do
Speaker 4: and a lot of it. I'm like, yeah, okay, I'm
Speaker 4: I'm an adult. I know I should take Adville or whatever.
Speaker 4: But you know, so we're going back and forth and
Speaker 4: he's like, why don't you just watch something that makes
Speaker 4: you happy tonight and makes you feel comfortable and just
Speaker 4: he's like, i'll be home tomorrow, just you know, watch
Speaker 4: a comfort show. And I was like, well, that's usually
Speaker 4: sex in the city. I was like, no, no, no, wait,
Speaker 4: I haven't and just like that's out now.
Speaker 3: Oh no. So I told him.
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm going to watch this and he's like, great,
Speaker 4: that's perfect. Take some meds, relax, watch that in bed.
Speaker 4: So that's what I did. I watch the first episode
Speaker 4: and sorry spoiler alert, Big dies right, and I remember
Speaker 4: feeling so devastated for Carrie because you know, this character,
Speaker 4: like he's been in everyone's life for twenty five years.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh, like that's awful. And I had
Speaker 4: already started comparing Bob to Big in certain ways and
Speaker 4: in the good ways. You know, they're both very tall, dark, handsome,
Speaker 4: love cigars, you know, this kind of.
Speaker 3: Cooler, cooler than life persona, just very.
Speaker 4: Smooth and suave, and so, you know, Bob was kind
Speaker 4: of like my mister Big in a sense. And so
Speaker 4: I'm watching this and I remember thinking like, oh, my
Speaker 4: husband's a little older, and it just kind of hit me.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, that would just feel so awful,
Speaker 4: And I remember just feeling gutted, like for her, but
Speaker 4: also putting myself in that position, like what would that
Speaker 4: be like? And I remember just like crying and being
Speaker 4: so sad and you're like, oh, it's probably is not
Speaker 4: good for my sore throat, but whatever, I'm into it
Speaker 4: now totally. And then I start watching the second episode
Speaker 4: where it's the funeral and what she's experiencing. And I
Speaker 4: got to tell you when I just rewatched it and
Speaker 4: I saw it was Michael Patrick King who wrote that,
Speaker 4: I'm like, how much this man must have known about
Speaker 4: grief or what that process is like, because he nailed
Speaker 4: it so perfectly.
Speaker 2: That's nice to hear, thank you.
Speaker 4: I mean, it was just just the feeling and how
Speaker 4: you have to have your friends sleep in bed with you.
Speaker 3: And just you you know, it was just on point.
Speaker 4: Thank you. Anyway, So I'm watching that second episode and
Speaker 4: just being like that would just.
Speaker 3: Be so awful, Like, oh, how sad to have your
Speaker 3: husband pass away?
Speaker 4: Yeah, but thinking so vividly remembering being like, oh, thank god,
Speaker 4: that's not me. Thank God, it's not me at least
Speaker 4: that's not me. But one day when that happens to me,
Speaker 4: now I have some sort of frame of reference of,
Speaker 4: you know, what that might be like. And then going
Speaker 4: to sleep that night feeling so heartbroken for these characters
Speaker 4: that you're seeing on TV that you know I've loved
Speaker 4: for so long, and then being like, oh, but that's
Speaker 4: not me. My husband is safe and in his hotel room,
Speaker 4: just finish this incredible show that he was so proud
Speaker 4: of and so happy with, And then waking up the
Speaker 4: next morning and can't get a hold of him, and
Speaker 4: then obviously finding out that time wise, he probably passed
Speaker 4: away a few hours after I actually watched that and
Speaker 4: had those thoughts so so sad, it's just so crazy,
Speaker 4: But it didn't really dawn on me until then I
Speaker 4: went back, even maybe a couple months later, because obviously
Speaker 4: I didn't watch TV for.
Speaker 3: A long time after that, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: think I want to go back and watch.
Speaker 4: Watch more of that and watch the several episodes after that,
Speaker 4: and just like that, and then it all came back
Speaker 4: to me.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, oh my god, that's what happened.
Speaker 3: I watched that right before Bob passed.
Speaker 4: And then I started watching the episode, you know, with
Speaker 4: with Charlotte and carry where they're going through the boxes
Speaker 4: and stuff, and I was like I had to do that,
Speaker 4: you know, and I was like, this is my life now.
Speaker 3: It was just so surreal and just so weird.
Speaker 1: My question is I mean, it's it is. It's amazing
Speaker 1: to hear that. I mean, I'm horribly sorry that you
Speaker 1: had to go through this obviously, but then the fact
Speaker 1: that you were in it and you could get like
Speaker 1: that you've been watching it and you were trying to
Speaker 1: empathize and thinking, I'm so lucky I'm not there. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is really why we do what we do, right,
Speaker 1: to try to have real you know, and to empathize.
Speaker 2: It was real, Like to empathize is such a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: You're trying to think like, oh, that's so sad for her,
Speaker 1: and how would I feel? And I'm so happy that
Speaker 1: my husband's safe, you know, but does anyone ever really safe?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Right, no, unfortunately no.
Speaker 1: But it's such an interesting thing to think about the
Speaker 1: connections that you can make through what we do, right,
Speaker 1: and that's why we do it, the connections. But then,
Speaker 1: you know, did you feel like it helped you later
Speaker 1: on to recognize things like I did feel this or
Speaker 1: you know, she when I because you talk about his
Speaker 1: closet as all of these things, like what.
Speaker 3: Was there a help in that connection?
Speaker 4: A thousand percent? And that's interesting that you asked that,
Speaker 4: because I hadn't really thought about that, Like did seeing
Speaker 4: that portrayed whether you know it's a TV show or
Speaker 4: if it was a documentary, it almost doesn't matter because
Speaker 4: you're still seeing real, you know, actual portrayals of somebody
Speaker 4: had gone through that at some point.
Speaker 3: To even come up with that idea for sure.
Speaker 4: So because when it happens to you and then all
Speaker 4: of a sudden, you know you're a widow, and you know,
Speaker 4: in my case, I was forty two at the time,
Speaker 4: and I didn't really know other widows, or if I did,
Speaker 4: I didn't sure, no, like dig deep into that world
Speaker 4: because it didn't apply to me yet, right, you know.
Speaker 3: So it's kind of almost free.
Speaker 2: It's very personal and internal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a lot of ways, which is not necessarily
Speaker 1: all that helpful, right, but it's really hard to be
Speaker 1: with someone in their grief.
Speaker 2: You can try, but it's hard, exactly.
Speaker 4: And you know, until you've lost somebody like I had
Speaker 4: never really lost anybody close to me, and anyone who has,
Speaker 4: like then it's like you're in the club, like you
Speaker 4: get it. And I didn't get it before got it.
Speaker 4: And so when I saw anybody, like when I met
Speaker 4: Widows after that, I felt so not alone, like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, there's other people who get this, because you
Speaker 4: feel so alone in this really weird world. But then
Speaker 4: rewatching it again, being like, oh my god, I literally
Speaker 4: felt all those things that Carrie was feeling, like when
Speaker 4: she went into the closet, and when I rewatched it,
Speaker 4: I realized that she was like hugging his suits, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, I did that. I remember like hugging Bob's
Speaker 4: suits and seeing them all lined up so perfectly, just
Speaker 4: like bigs were, and like I remember like smelling them
Speaker 4: and being like, oh my god, like he's never coming
Speaker 4: home to this stuff, and it was just so s
Speaker 4: such a bizarre feeling, but then seeing it, you know
Speaker 4: on TV, I'm like, okay, like I'm not crazy for
Speaker 4: feeling this, or I'm not crazy for experiencing this.
Speaker 2: No, not at all yet at all.
Speaker 1: Grief is hard to even touch in terms of portrayal.
Speaker 2: Or you know, any of it.
Speaker 1: It's such a very unique and everyone obviously has their
Speaker 1: own version of it, right, but especially like sudden sudden
Speaker 1: loss like you experienced, it's just horrible, like you have
Speaker 1: no preparation whatsoever. And that's the interesting part of this
Speaker 1: story for me is that there's no way. It's not
Speaker 1: as though he were sick. It's not as though you
Speaker 1: had had some kind of health warning or anything like that. Right,
Speaker 1: so in some ways this was your only preparation in
Speaker 1: a weird way, meaning like what time of the time
Speaker 1: and everything, and you really trying to empathize with Carrie,
Speaker 1: which is so sweet, Like that's the connection to that
Speaker 1: we have with our viewers that you know, you guys
Speaker 1: are like.
Speaker 3: Oh, I felt so bad for her.
Speaker 2: You feel that in a different way going to suck
Speaker 2: for her.
Speaker 4: I don't need to worry about that, right, you know,
Speaker 4: until five hours later. But what the show also did
Speaker 4: very interestingly was the use of humor as well. And
Speaker 4: that's something I learned from Bob so much, was that,
Speaker 4: you know, that's part of why he became a comedian
Speaker 4: because he had so much death in his life. He
Speaker 4: had so much death, and you know, darkness and comedy
Speaker 4: helped him. And even since I knew him, there would
Speaker 4: be people, you know, friends of his that he was
Speaker 4: losing all the time, and he would call their wife
Speaker 4: or call their family and like make jokes to them
Speaker 4: like the day they died. Like, you can't do that,
Speaker 4: you can't joke with somebody death. And he's like, yeah,
Speaker 4: you can, and you should, right, I mean, I guess
Speaker 4: in the right way.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you should exactly. It was like he
Speaker 3: had a way about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah. But then I remember in some of those episodes,
Speaker 4: you know, like they're like Miranda was trying to make
Speaker 4: a couple jokes here, yeah, and sometimes they didn't land
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, like if I like that
Speaker 4: would have landed for me because I would have appreciated
Speaker 4: the joke.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, people don't you know.
Speaker 1: No, No, It's very very unique, and I think that's
Speaker 1: also what's so hard about portraying it. Or connecting to
Speaker 1: it is that each version is going to be different, right.
Speaker 1: I oh, I remember the story and I don't remember
Speaker 1: did did do you know?
Speaker 2: Did Bob know? Roy London? He was a really great
Speaker 2: acting teacher.
Speaker 3: We had sounds so familiar. I feel like there was.
Speaker 2: A connection, but I can't remember what it was exactly.
Speaker 2: But Roy used to tell the story about.
Speaker 1: He would coach people for big films and you know,
Speaker 1: like break down the script with them and talk about
Speaker 1: things to do and one and he his thing was
Speaker 1: like not to have any rules or parameters around how
Speaker 1: you responded in the moment, and to have freedom on
Speaker 1: the set that you were going to do what you
Speaker 1: felt the character needed to do and not be shut
Speaker 1: down by the director or anything like that. Right, there
Speaker 1: was a scene I can't remember who it was, but
Speaker 1: it was some big movie star person in a film
Speaker 1: where someone died and he wanted them to I believe,
Speaker 1: stand up on a table or something something odd, right,
Speaker 1: And the director was like, no, no, you can't do that.
Speaker 1: And he told the actor to say, well, this is
Speaker 1: what happened to me when my dad died. This is
Speaker 1: what happened to me, this is what I did, and
Speaker 1: that that would and.
Speaker 3: It was true or wasn't true.
Speaker 1: It wasn't true, It wasn't true, but it was because
Speaker 1: every version of grief is its own thing, and you
Speaker 1: don't even understand when you're in it what you're feeling
Speaker 1: or saying or doing or you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You're in an alternate universe that you didn't expect to
Speaker 1: be in, especially in the situation with bub where it's
Speaker 1: a sudden bam, you know, like life has changed dramatically
Speaker 1: from one hour to the next hour. And I think
Speaker 1: that's important to remember and sometimes really hard when you're
Speaker 1: trying to portray it on screen, right because you're trying
Speaker 1: to connect and you want it to seem real. Obviously
Speaker 1: it's not real, right, we're acting. But I know that
Speaker 1: Sir Jeska and Michael Patrick really really wanted to tell
Speaker 1: the story and had been talking about it for a
Speaker 1: long time, and it was a huge risk obviously. I mean,
Speaker 1: there are people who are still upset with us about this.
Speaker 1: You don't have saying that they did not want Big
Speaker 1: died right away, yeah, and just that he died. In general,
Speaker 1: they just don't want their characters to die.
Speaker 3: I get it.
Speaker 2: I get it, But I did feel like.
Speaker 1: It's just a very very relatable thing that women go through.
Speaker 5: It's real, especially I mean if he was a few
Speaker 5: years older, they had they were together a long time,
Speaker 5: but you had a heart attack, and like what's more
Speaker 5: relatable than that.
Speaker 3: Either it happened does us or someone we know. I mean,
Speaker 3: I'm sure you.
Speaker 4: Know you know somebody who lost their husband suddenly to
Speaker 4: a heart attack or something like. It's so common that
Speaker 4: and it's interesting to see then what the characters do
Speaker 4: with it. But like, as you mentioned, I would never
Speaker 4: have thought that I could have if you would have
Speaker 4: told me a day before, by the way, you're gonna
Speaker 4: lose your husband tomorrow, and like you're gonna be making
Speaker 4: jokes the day he died. But been like, absolutely not,
Speaker 4: that's awful. And I remember I was at my house
Speaker 4: in a house like there were a ton of comedians
Speaker 4: over at my house that day, and you know, Jeff
Speaker 4: ross Is, They're like like making jokes, and like I start,
Speaker 4: I actually like smiled. I mean, I'm devastated in sobbing
Speaker 4: ninety nine percent of the day. But then he'd say
Speaker 4: something funny and then I would laugh, and then I
Speaker 4: would attempt to say something funny back, and that's just life, Like,
Speaker 4: you can't plan.
Speaker 2: It now, you can't plan it.
Speaker 1: Also, those were Bob's friends, right, so they're gonna have
Speaker 1: that similar sense of humor to him, and they're gonna
Speaker 1: understand that that what he would want them to do
Speaker 1: for you in that moment, you know. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: think I think that's beautiful. I think that's beautiful. And
Speaker 1: I think people are complicated, and you can't put yourself
Speaker 1: in a box or put other people in a box
Speaker 1: and say, oh, well, this wouldn't happen, or this would happen.
Speaker 2: You don't even really know.
Speaker 4: No, it's there's so much of it that happened that
Speaker 4: I never would have guessed. And then it really truly
Speaker 4: dawned on me, as I mentioned just a few weeks
Speaker 4: ago when doing my podcast, and I'm like, I want
Speaker 4: to tell this story because I had mentioned it to
Speaker 4: somebody in passing and they're like, wait, that's crazy, Like
Speaker 4: you watched that episode a couple hours before Bob Di.
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, oh, it's crazy, that's insane. And then
Speaker 3: part of me is like, well.
Speaker 4: Maybe it doesn't you know, seem as big of a
Speaker 4: coincidence to other people like, oh, you just happen to
Speaker 4: be watching the show, but I'm like, no, it was.
Speaker 4: It was very intense. And then the memory I had
Speaker 4: from that when I went back and watched was just
Speaker 4: so like that happened to me just hours later. It
Speaker 4: was just so crazy.
Speaker 3: It is crazy.
Speaker 1: It gives me kind of like chill type feelings. But
Speaker 1: also I do feel like, like, in a weird way,
Speaker 1: sometimes things are sent to us at different times that
Speaker 1: are going to help us. You know, that's like my
Speaker 1: woo woo side.
Speaker 4: But you know, like, no, it's so true. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: never since then, you know, it's whenever I'm just trying
Speaker 4: to be cozy and comforted. You know. That's why I've
Speaker 4: gone through the season so many times, is because it's
Speaker 4: always been my comfort show. Even before Bob passed, Like
Speaker 4: he would know, he'd be like.
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, all right, I want to turn out
Speaker 3: Sex in the City again. I'll watch it with you.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, go ahead, And.
Speaker 4: I'm like and he's like, you've seen it so many times.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't care.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so still it just makes me, you know,
Speaker 4: feel so comforted, and.
Speaker 3: That even though.
Speaker 4: Having that memory of you know, well, that was an
Speaker 4: unpleasant memory. It's still it still was strangely comforting in
Speaker 4: a way too.
Speaker 3: And then I'm so glad.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's comforting to think that anyone
Speaker 1: has gone through anything when you're in a horrible situation, right,
Speaker 1: even if it's a fictional somebody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, yeah, and that's what's interesting. I'm like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 4: that was fiction. But as I mentioned, like somebody came
Speaker 4: up with it, it was and it was done very,
Speaker 4: very perfectly where I'm like, that was thank you my
Speaker 4: life to at.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, though, I'm sorry. It's like such a mixed thing.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like on the one hand, you're happy that the
Speaker 1: work reached someone in a powerful way, and then on
Speaker 1: the other hand, I'm just sorry that you went through them.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you.
Speaker 4: But you know, at this point now, it's yeah, I
Speaker 4: just I just love talking about Bob all the time,
Speaker 4: and that's never changing. And you know, I just tell
Speaker 4: people all the time, I'm like, he's never going anywhere,
Speaker 4: Like I'm going to talk about him all the time.
Speaker 3: I don't care if people get sick of it.
Speaker 4: It's been so therapeutic to always be sharing him because
Speaker 4: then I find out, like, look, I talked to you today,
Speaker 4: You're tell me things about Bob that I didn't even
Speaker 4: really know. And so there's always memories or things that
Speaker 4: I'm still learning about him because I'm always still talking.
Speaker 2: About Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's because so many people either knew him personally
Speaker 4: right or had some sort of connection to him, even
Speaker 4: if they're I mean, he got all the time. I'm
Speaker 4: sure you know in ways that you do too, but
Speaker 4: he would have people come up to him saying like
Speaker 4: I didn't have a dad and you raised me like
Speaker 4: that type of thing, like very powerful stuff, and so
Speaker 4: I still get that.
Speaker 3: All the time. You know.
Speaker 4: Now they kind of transfer that on to me, which
Speaker 4: I'm just very proud to even have that connection at all.
Speaker 3: So, yeah, people live on.
Speaker 1: I mean, death is a really crazy thing because like,
Speaker 1: on the one hand, it is very final, and on
Speaker 1: the other hand it's not.
Speaker 2: You know, people's.
Speaker 1: Energies and spirit and what he created when he was here.
Speaker 2: Powerful, very powerful. Yeah, so many people, Oh, thank you,
Speaker 2: you're welcome.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I didn't know him well, but
Speaker 1: he was always you always knew if Bob was at
Speaker 1: an event you were at.
Speaker 2: Let me put it that way.
Speaker 3: He stood out, he did six four. He stood out
Speaker 3: like a sore thumb. And he's right. He had a
Speaker 3: very special energy. He did. He did and always wanted them.
Speaker 2: Was very warm and so funny and just but sweet.
Speaker 1: You know, he was sweet. He had a sweetness about him.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah he was. And it's it's interesting
Speaker 1: to see that kind of continue on. And you know that,
Speaker 1: like even with my boyfriend now, like people ask me
Speaker 1: all the time, like is.
Speaker 3: It weird that you still talk about Bob so much?
Speaker 3: Like reckon okay with that, And I'm like, he loves it.
Speaker 4: He's very comfortable with it, strangely, and I'm so grateful
Speaker 4: for that because it is not.
Speaker 3: Always the case. Sure, And I was so worried about that.
Speaker 3: I can only imagine how.
Speaker 4: Am I going to find somebody who's confident enough to
Speaker 4: know that I'm always going to be talking about Bob,
Speaker 4: Like that's got to get weird for somebody.
Speaker 3: And he's like, not weird about it.
Speaker 4: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Did he know Bob? Yes? Not super well, not like
Speaker 3: a stamos, I don't think, because that would be we're tired.
Speaker 3: I mean, was the last holdout on Brecon.
Speaker 4: Every all of Bob's friends, his his daughters like love Breckon,
Speaker 4: like everyone, but for some reason, John was a little
Speaker 4: like interesting of all people, I don't want you to
Speaker 4: have a new boyfriend, you know.
Speaker 3: He was a little a little sensitive about it.
Speaker 4: And then finally he's like, all right, I'll meet him,
Speaker 4: and then they know now they love each other. I
Speaker 4: Reckon always loved John, but so he's like, all right,
Speaker 4: he's great.
Speaker 3: Fine.
Speaker 4: But yeah, they were friendly and respected each other and
Speaker 4: really liked each other. Like I remember I would be
Speaker 4: sitting on the couch with Bob watching watching TV or series,
Speaker 4: and Brecken would come on.
Speaker 3: And be like, oh, Brecken's in the show. I love Brecken.
Speaker 3: Oh that's nice. Yeah. But then it wasn't much more
Speaker 3: than that.
Speaker 4: Like I met him a couple of times.
Speaker 2: But it was I feel like I've met Breckin.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I know, but I can't probably.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, he's just one of those people
Speaker 1: who's been working for so long, he's.
Speaker 4: Been around for so long.
Speaker 2: Part of me, I'm just like, where, when, how what?
Speaker 2: I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: It's not like Bob Ware like you. I mean, I
Speaker 1: have very vivid memories of It's like.
Speaker 3: Six degrees of Christ.
Speaker 1: I know. Well in world, if you've made it for
Speaker 1: any length of time, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: You have been in La ever since.
Speaker 2: I moved here in ninety one.
Speaker 1: Okay, but then I ended up getting sex and city,
Speaker 1: going back and forth, you know, for years and years.
Speaker 3: So you were here too, like you would be here all.
Speaker 2: Right when we were on hiatus.
Speaker 1: Ok yeah, yeah, yeah, Like I bought my house after
Speaker 1: the first season, okay, yeah, and I remember sir was like,
Speaker 1: why are you doing that?
Speaker 3: I said, because it's.
Speaker 2: Very calm there and I can rest.
Speaker 1: Are you the only bicoastal No, No, there were Michael
Speaker 1: Patrick was here as well, and Darren Star was here
Speaker 1: as well, and acting wise. Yes, So I think when
Speaker 1: we started, Kim had a house here, but then I
Speaker 1: think she sold it, and then I think Chris had
Speaker 1: a house here. I mean, we were a lot of
Speaker 1: us went back and forth.
Speaker 3: It was so weird.
Speaker 4: I saw him in a grocery store parking lot, like
Speaker 4: yeah a few weeks ago, oh wow, or maybe a
Speaker 4: couple months ago, and part of me wanted to be like, oh,
Speaker 4: I think it was like the same week I recorded
Speaker 4: my podcast about Wow, right, but I was.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, I'm not going to bother him, but what
Speaker 3: are the odds?
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3: I know that was crazy.
Speaker 4: That is crazy, but yeah, it's it's been such a
Speaker 4: ongoing therapy session to always be able to talk about
Speaker 4: Bob so good. I'm grateful to you that you gave
Speaker 4: me this opportunity even like it really kind of dive
Speaker 4: into it more, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: I mean I think I think, first of all, I
Speaker 1: think reef is super fascinating and we do not talk
Speaker 1: about it enough. And second of all, I love Bob
Speaker 1: so in Bob's memory.
Speaker 4: Well, and I think talking about grief in a way
Speaker 4: that makes it not so scary or heavy, like when
Speaker 4: you can joke about it, or when you can thrown
Speaker 4: things that are a little bit more lighthearted, or like,
Speaker 4: you know, tie my grief into a TV show, Like
Speaker 4: there are ways that make it more palatable. Which is
Speaker 4: why I'd started doing my podcast originally, was because I'm like,
Speaker 4: I want you know, it's called comfort food, Like I
Speaker 4: want it to be comforting and not dark and sad
Speaker 4: and scary and where people don't want to.
Speaker 3: Listen to something that's about.
Speaker 4: Death because they're like, well that sounds awful, right, It's like, okay,
Speaker 4: how can we make it more relatable and not so heavy.
Speaker 1: I just feel like it's such a service because the
Speaker 1: fact that our culture has decided like okay, we're we're
Speaker 1: not gonna this is random the morn I'm going to say,
Speaker 1: but you know, our culture is like we're not going
Speaker 1: to talk about it. But obviously it's a part of life.
Speaker 1: So it's a part of every day life basically, right.
Speaker 1: And then also the other day, I was listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast about the industry.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say the name of it, but
Speaker 2: they were talking about how there have.
Speaker 1: Been this bidding more for this Jane Fonda movie called
Speaker 1: The Correspondent, which is a book, a very much loved book,
Speaker 1: and this guy who's he's quite a big reporter in
Speaker 1: our industry, and he was like, I mean, that's crazy,
Speaker 1: Like it's Jane fondas she's eighty something, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, this disrespect was so cutting and it's so
Speaker 1: wrong headed of our whole culture right to discount people
Speaker 1: who are older, because there's so much wisdom people who
Speaker 1: are older, and there are other cultures who honor that,
Speaker 1: and we are so wrong headed about death in general
Speaker 1: and aging in general.
Speaker 3: Like there's so much to.
Speaker 1: Be learned, to be proud of, to own and share,
Speaker 1: you know, for the young people to learn things. And
Speaker 1: I mean Jane fond is beloved like right, obviously not
Speaker 1: by all the men in our industry, but you know
Speaker 1: by those of.
Speaker 3: Us with good sense.
Speaker 4: You know, do you think it's gotten better though, I
Speaker 4: feel like it's gotten I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's really up and down, right, I think
Speaker 1: that that that I think in some ways, like with
Speaker 1: the Devil Wears product right too, which is super exciting
Speaker 1: and did way huge numbers, and they're all like, oh,
Speaker 1: we can't believe it, which is every time a female
Speaker 1: driven movie is successful, they're like, we can't believe it.
Speaker 3: Who what a thought? Exactly exactly?
Speaker 1: They this master movie exactly, do well exactly. And then
Speaker 1: I saw something else on Instagram about I don't know
Speaker 1: how old and Hathaway is or Emily Blunt, but I
Speaker 1: mean they're grown women, right, And then Merrill, of course,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just a joy. And there's a lot
Speaker 1: of statistics about older women buying houses, single women buying houses,
Speaker 1: all of the things, All of those statistics are going
Speaker 1: in the right way, right, And I think that the
Speaker 1: thing that's interesting is that I do feel like culturally
Speaker 1: and in terms of advertising and things that are getting made,
Speaker 1: like it's still really hard to get a film made
Speaker 1: that you know about, Like, it was not easy for
Speaker 1: us to make it, just like that, right, Everyone thinks
Speaker 1: that it was, But it wasn't.
Speaker 2: You know, it wasn't like.
Speaker 1: Here crazy, you don't have twenty million dollars an episode,
Speaker 1: go have fun, wasn't It wasn't that easy because we
Speaker 1: weren't trying.
Speaker 3: To recreate the other show.
Speaker 1: We're obviously at a different time in our lives, and
Speaker 1: we wanted to write about that. That was our purpose, right,
Speaker 1: So a new perspective, Yeah, right, I think it's a
Speaker 1: mixed bag, right. I think sometimes there's wonderful things that happened,
Speaker 1: like Devils Part of two, or like Jane Green lighting
Speaker 1: a movie you know that has a bidding war. It's amazing, right,
Speaker 1: But I don't think it's prevalent.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say I've noticed, even if it's trickling
Speaker 4: in little by little, there is a bit more because
Speaker 4: you mentioned the aging thing that there are more people
Speaker 4: coming out and being like, no, I'm not doing like
Speaker 4: Drew Barrymore. I saw a hip of her yesterday. She's like,
Speaker 4: I'm not doing anything right. And so many more people
Speaker 4: now are kind of jumping on that bandwagon and saying like, hey,
Speaker 4: it's not you know, weird to not do stuff to
Speaker 4: your face or to whatever. This should be the norm.
Speaker 1: And then right, I think that we need to take
Speaker 1: the shoulds out because I think that's part of what
Speaker 1: goes wrong, but the thing that's interesting.
Speaker 3: Or that if we do see it, then we shouldn't
Speaker 3: be like, oh, that's so strange. She decided not to do.
Speaker 1: Something, for sure, for sure, But I also think a
Speaker 1: lot of this is driven by clickbait and by social media,
Speaker 1: because even if Drew's going on our show and saying
Speaker 1: I've made this choice, that doesn't mean that there's not
Speaker 1: going to be all kind of posts about like, look
Speaker 1: out terrible she looks you know, it's ridiculous. And then
Speaker 1: there are other people who are going to criticize people
Speaker 1: that they feel like they've done too much work.
Speaker 3: You can't really win, you're still in the it's hard
Speaker 3: to win. Situation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a good point because I guess in that industry,
Speaker 4: no matter which way you go, you're going to have people.
Speaker 3: Just want to be trolls. We want to comment, we
Speaker 3: want to say.
Speaker 1: The mean thing because we have now, you know, a
Speaker 1: platform for everything, right, So there's platforms for people dissecting
Speaker 1: your face, you know, every day or whatever.
Speaker 2: It's very interesting, very interesting.
Speaker 1: It's interesting if you can get a little space from it,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, get a from it.
Speaker 3: God bless us all I know.
Speaker 1: And the truth is right, if you're lucky enough to
Speaker 1: be older and healthy, isn't that what's important?
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's you know, part of you were just
Speaker 4: even mentioning, you know, Double Warre's pradact like they're like,
Speaker 4: they look amazing, Meryl looks amazing, Like let's celebrate that,
Speaker 4: and you know, have any negativity around it. But at
Speaker 4: the same time, you know, that was another really big
Speaker 4: thing with my whole loss of Bob was everyone was like,
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry for you. You got robbed. It's not fair, Like, no,
Speaker 4: I'm so grateful I had him for six years, and
Speaker 4: I can't be like, it's not fair that I didn't
Speaker 4: have him longer.
Speaker 1: I don't think life is fair, right, I think that's
Speaker 1: just a crazy idea anyway, right.
Speaker 4: Like to focus on the gratitude further, sure how much
Speaker 4: time we did have together or how much time you
Speaker 4: get to be on this planet.
Speaker 1: And I'm saying to even have come across him so
Speaker 1: that you could have that joy. I mean not everyone
Speaker 1: gets that, you know at all? Right, So yeah, it
Speaker 1: is hard though. I think with loss it's it's hard.
Speaker 1: You can't be holding yourself up to an unrealistic expectation
Speaker 1: that you're going to be living in the gratitude every
Speaker 1: moment either, right, Like you need to give yourself freedom
Speaker 1: to have all the feelings you eat or anything.
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, it's so true. Different topic, but it's still
Speaker 4: in the same world. Another thing from Sex and the
Speaker 4: City that had such an impact on me that I
Speaker 4: use in my everyday life because there's a big thing
Speaker 4: with me where you know, I never had kids and
Speaker 4: people always want to talk about that, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 4: well why didn't you have kids?
Speaker 3: Did you not want to have kids?
Speaker 1: Yea?
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, it's a huge conversation, especially nowadays,
Speaker 4: the whole like child free by choice thing and.
Speaker 3: When I had met Bob.
Speaker 4: I was still kind of on the fence about having kids,
Speaker 4: like do I or do I not want to? I
Speaker 4: was like, I don't think I want to, but uh,
Speaker 4: I don't know. And then I meet Bob. And when
Speaker 4: we met, I was thirty seven and he was sixty,
Speaker 4: so you know, big age gap. And he was at
Speaker 4: the point where he's like, I have three adult children.
Speaker 4: I don't think I want kids anymore, but let's not
Speaker 4: take it off the table completely. So we were dating
Speaker 4: for a little bit and then I was about to
Speaker 4: move to LA and right before that, he said we
Speaker 4: have to talk. He's like, I, I'm not doing the
Speaker 4: kid thing again.
Speaker 3: I just can't.
Speaker 4: He's like, I don't want to be seventy pushing a stroller.
Speaker 4: And I was like, I don't blame you, you know,
Speaker 4: like I get it. Yeah, And he said, but I
Speaker 4: want you to understand before you move out here, like
Speaker 4: that's a choice you're going to need to make, Like
Speaker 4: if you want to have kids, I don't want to
Speaker 4: take that from you, so.
Speaker 3: You know, you need to think about that.
Speaker 4: And I remember thinking and at that time, and of
Speaker 4: course I had seen the episode before, but I remember
Speaker 4: watching the it was in season six. It was one
Speaker 4: of the Alexander Petrovski episodes. But Charlotte and Carrie were
Speaker 4: playing with Brady at the park.
Speaker 3: Okay, don't remember, but okay, and.
Speaker 4: You know, Charlotte was like, you're a baby person, and
Speaker 4: she's like, I don't think I'm a baby person. You know,
Speaker 4: Alexander Petrovski didn't want kids. Yes, And Charlotte goes, but
Speaker 4: how could you give up a baby for a man
Speaker 4: you hardly know? And she goes, why would I give
Speaker 4: up a man for a baby I hardly know I want?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 4: And I like that line has stuck with me so much. Again, Yes,
Speaker 4: I know it's TV show, but it's so true. And
Speaker 4: then I remember applying that logic to being like, wait,
Speaker 4: I'm going to give up Bob, like this wonderful man
Speaker 4: for like a baby I hardly know I want.
Speaker 3: And so since then, whenever it comes up, I.
Speaker 4: Always say like, well, you know, like that line in
Speaker 4: the city, And then I do that line all the
Speaker 4: time and everyone's like, I love that's so true.
Speaker 3: Like that.
Speaker 1: It's very good. I wonder who wrote that line. It
Speaker 1: was a Juicy line because Jerry Juicy line. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: do think there is also culturally, this just tremendous pressure
Speaker 1: on everyone. Do you have children? Goodness, it's crazy town.
Speaker 1: It really is such a big thing. And I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone should force anyone or put any pressure. And
Speaker 1: this whole idea that all women secretly wanted or.
Speaker 6: Whatever, that's just not true, right, But I thought, should
Speaker 6: they as the whole shooting thing, I thought I would
Speaker 6: because that's I should.
Speaker 3: That's what you're supposed to do, right, well, you're supposed
Speaker 3: to have it. So I was just like, well, I
Speaker 3: guess I will, because that's what you do, right.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: It's kind of nuts.
Speaker 1: You have to really carve out the idea that you
Speaker 1: don't have to. I went through this myself before I
Speaker 1: adopted my kids. I really was unsure. I was very
Speaker 1: unsure for quite some time. I waited so long to
Speaker 1: try to be sure. But then I did have like
Speaker 1: a weird deeper need, you know, like I had to
Speaker 1: really sit down and think it through in a deep way, like.
Speaker 2: Why, why, what do I want? What is it about it?
Speaker 1: You know? I had to dissect it because I didn't
Speaker 1: necessarily want to get married, so it wasn't I didn't
Speaker 1: want the picture perfeclah blah blah. But then I had
Speaker 1: to think about, like what is it about the children?
Speaker 1: And it was a different element and it was.
Speaker 2: Like the unknown. There's an unknown.
Speaker 1: I mean in the same way when you meet someone
Speaker 1: and fall in love, there's an unknown.
Speaker 4: Like what will you make another I can't plan any
Speaker 4: we know it's going to happen.
Speaker 1: Exactly same with children, and it kind of a slightly
Speaker 1: different way right in like a I did feel like
Speaker 1: a deeper calling to it, which is why I eventually
Speaker 1: then pursued it. But there was a long time where
Speaker 1: everyone around me would be talking about getting pregnant and
Speaker 1: I would just be like, you know.
Speaker 4: But see that's what's even more. But see that's what's
Speaker 4: even more. I don't want to say impressive, but more
Speaker 4: like meaningful and deep meaningful to me about what you
Speaker 4: did because you were like I want to be a mother,
Speaker 4: Like I want to be a mom. It's not like
Speaker 4: I want to have the baby and be pregnant for
Speaker 4: the Instagram photos or this or that, like right, like
Speaker 4: were some people they're like, I want to meet the
Speaker 4: man and then have the baby, because then it's like
Speaker 4: that's the perfect.
Speaker 1: Life, right And Charlotte wanted that. I mean, I play
Speaker 1: a character who wanted that. She really did, and I
Speaker 1: had to really dig deeply when I was playing her
Speaker 1: to make it deeper than that. In real you know,
Speaker 1: she didn't have social media, right we started, you know,
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety eight, seven, nineteen ninety seven actually, But you know,
Speaker 1: because some people really deeply, deeply have that vision for themselves, right,
Speaker 1: Like they have a vision and maybe it is affected
Speaker 1: by how they grew up or by society or whatever,
Speaker 1: but it is their true vision. So I think that
Speaker 1: that needs to be honored as well. I think the
Speaker 1: question is always, you know, like how where are people
Speaker 1: coming from about what they want? Is it from a
Speaker 1: deep place? Is it from a social pressure place? You know,
Speaker 1: because those are the people who then sometimes are really
Speaker 1: unhappy when they do get that thing.
Speaker 3: Well exactly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I'm saying to do it your way, yeah,
Speaker 4: because you felt a calling to it, and not because like,
Speaker 4: oh I'm going to check the boxes that society says
Speaker 4: you should.
Speaker 3: Right, You're sad.
Speaker 4: It's so silly like nowadays, even when people have a
Speaker 4: certain wedding, I'm like, are you doing that because you
Speaker 4: truly want the wedding or you want to show the
Speaker 4: pictures on Facebook and Instagram.
Speaker 3: I know, you know, oh if.
Speaker 4: There was I mean, of course every people weddings existed
Speaker 4: before social media, but nowadays with how they're structured, like
Speaker 4: if there was no social media, A lot of people nowadays,
Speaker 4: especially with like how much they cost and everything.
Speaker 3: It's like, let's just we just want to be married.
Speaker 4: Let's just a lope.
Speaker 3: Who cares? We don't need the pictures, you know.
Speaker 2: I do know, I do know.
Speaker 3: I think it'll be interesting.
Speaker 1: I have my oldest is fourteen and she doesn't have
Speaker 1: any social media.
Speaker 3: Fourteen and old the other eight eight.
Speaker 1: Fourteen, And I'm wondering because there is this kind of
Speaker 1: turning away from it all now, you know, not across
Speaker 1: the board, but like they're young people who just don't
Speaker 1: want to bother with it, you know. And I wonder
Speaker 1: if it's going to come full circle and it will
Speaker 1: be interesting for us who had a lot of life
Speaker 1: before it, right, like a ton of life, and then
Speaker 1: now life has been greatly changed it in terms of
Speaker 1: all the things you're talking about the pressures and how
Speaker 1: things are presented versus how they really are, right, Like
Speaker 1: I also think these things when I see, you know,
Speaker 1: things on social media and I'm like, hmm, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's really how that thing, yeah, actually is.
Speaker 4: But when you have experience and you've lived some life
Speaker 4: and like I've been married twice, so I've had the
Speaker 4: divorce and I've had the loss of a spouse and
Speaker 4: so you know, I've had all these experiences now where
Speaker 4: you know, when you see somebody who's like twenty five
Speaker 4: and they're like, I'm just going to do this and
Speaker 4: do that, I'm like, Okay, take your breath.
Speaker 3: I'm telling you that how it always goes. It's hard to.
Speaker 2: Tell them though, right, right, it's hard.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, but also they have to go do it,
Speaker 1: you know, they have to go do it right because
Speaker 1: how else are they going to learn things? Right? I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is really it is really interesting when you.
Speaker 1: Have gone through a lot of life and then you
Speaker 1: want to try to share it, and then you I
Speaker 1: think there is such great things to be had from
Speaker 1: different generations having kind of deep conversations about these things
Speaker 1: right when they when they want to, when the time
Speaker 1: is right, and maybe they'll listen, maybe they won't, but
Speaker 1: it's super interesting to share our thoughts and our feelings
Speaker 1: and their expectations, like because they're living such a different
Speaker 1: life than he did.
Speaker 3: It's like going back.
Speaker 4: You want to be able to be Like I wish
Speaker 4: I was eighteen and I would have listened. I would
Speaker 4: have been like, hey, grandparents, tell me what I should and.
Speaker 3: Shouldn't do, but we would never do that. We would
Speaker 3: never listen.
Speaker 1: Had a lot to tell me, and I did not
Speaker 1: listen to them. And it's okay because I never would
Speaker 1: have left the house if I had listened.
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly right, that's exactly right.
Speaker 3: But they but they.
Speaker 1: I think what they did tell me and what I
Speaker 1: feel like got transmuted or whatever you would say, was
Speaker 1: about work, hard work, ethic things like that, which I
Speaker 1: feel like Also culturally, we're kind of in like a
Speaker 1: weird thing about it because I think things are so
Speaker 1: much less linear than they used to be. It's not
Speaker 1: like you can do the certain things you're supposed to
Speaker 1: do and have it necessarily work out right. It's much
Speaker 1: more chaotic now. So I think that sometimes what we
Speaker 1: I'm older than you, but what I received from the
Speaker 1: generations before me was about kind of that if you
Speaker 1: really apply yourself and work really really hard that things
Speaker 1: are going to work out for you, right. I don't
Speaker 1: know if people feel that way now because the world
Speaker 1: is so different.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, now you have social media where you could
Speaker 4: be eighteen years old and have a TikTok account and
Speaker 4: start making millions of dollars from TikTok tomorrow, and then
Speaker 4: kids see that and they're like, oh, I'll just do that, right, But.
Speaker 1: Then my fear for that for that because it is
Speaker 1: super interesting and it's real, right, It's not like it's
Speaker 1: not a.
Speaker 3: Real job, is it.
Speaker 1: It can be real, right, It's not gonna be real
Speaker 1: for everyone who wants it, just like.
Speaker 3: Can be real for anyone, but not everyone exactly.
Speaker 2: But also then my question is where's it going to go?
Speaker 1: Right, because let's say that you hit that you're one
Speaker 1: of those people who hits as a content creator.
Speaker 2: What happens next? Like, what are you going to do
Speaker 2: with that? Is it going to last? Are you going
Speaker 2: to save that money? Probably not? I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't think that way. It's probably like what happened
Speaker 3: to a lot of child actors.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, good analogy, yes, which is scary.
Speaker 4: They get really I mean, granted, the era of child actors,
Speaker 4: let's say, in the seventies, eighties, nineties, is different than
Speaker 4: today because of social media, right, But you know, they
Speaker 4: get so big and then they burn out and then
Speaker 4: there's a lot.
Speaker 1: Of issues that follow with that, for sure, And that's
Speaker 1: exactly what I worry about.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I worry about.
Speaker 1: That there because there's also no network or like structure
Speaker 1: for content creators, right, Like they're just kind of on
Speaker 1: their own, you know, whereas if you're a child actor,
Speaker 1: not that this always worked out, but your parents were
Speaker 1: supposed to be around and stuff, right, yeah, and now
Speaker 1: supposed to be yeah, now didn't always work out in
Speaker 1: the past, and they're supposed to be saving your money
Speaker 1: for you and all those things, right. But content creators,
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody's overseeing them in any way, which
Speaker 1: is really interesting to think about, like what's going to happen?
Speaker 4: But I think there's some law that you know, and
Speaker 4: I'm sure anyone can do research on this, but I
Speaker 4: remember hearing about it very recently that for people who
Speaker 4: put their children in videos, like content creators who put
Speaker 4: their children in videos, and money is made from that,
Speaker 4: like some money has to go, oh good to the kids,
Speaker 4: and then there also might be some sort of laws
Speaker 4: about like time wow us you know, everything that happened
Speaker 4: after that was named Ruby Frankie right on YouTube where
Speaker 4: she's monetizing off her kids and these kids are like
Speaker 4: working twenty.
Speaker 3: Hour days on YouTube.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I think because of her specifically, that's they made some
Speaker 4: laws about that.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: Good yeah, good, because I mean, who know, it's still
Speaker 4: so unregulated. I mean it's been it's been a new
Speaker 4: you know world in business for the last ten years
Speaker 4: and my line of work, and it's interesting to see,
Speaker 4: you know, because it was a wild West for so long.
Speaker 3: I feel like it still is.
Speaker 4: It still is, Okay, it's just slightly you know, there's
Speaker 4: certain regulations if something sponsored, you have to say it's sponsored,
Speaker 4: things like that. But I feel like not everybody does
Speaker 4: not definitely not okay, and I do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm always scared.
Speaker 2: I'm so scared.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm scared. I'm like, what if, you know, the FCC,
Speaker 3: like they're only watching me.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think they're only watching anyone, but
Speaker 1: I do think that you can get flagged at any time, right, like,
Speaker 1: like if you're not always like I'll.
Speaker 3: Be the one I'll be the first one who gets
Speaker 3: in trouble.
Speaker 1: Oh no, people are getting in trouble. I've heard of
Speaker 1: people getting in trouble. People just don't know about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that, but more reason, I don't
Speaker 1: necessarily think it's the creator's fault.
Speaker 2: I think it's lack of clarity from the brands.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: I see that's the thing because I've had several brand
Speaker 4: deals where I'll say like, well, aren't I supposed to
Speaker 4: put hashtag? And they're like, well, the brand's not requiring it,
Speaker 4: And I'm like.
Speaker 3: I know, weird, right, isn't that straight? But I still
Speaker 3: it's all over the place.
Speaker 1: Some people used to put ad in the corner, do
Speaker 1: you remember, like oh, and now you never see that.
Speaker 1: You never see that, And now sometimes you'll see hashtag
Speaker 1: partner right, like and that's interesting, But I don't know.
Speaker 1: But you're supposed to put it at the top like sponsored, yeah,
Speaker 1: but not of your pay partnership and tag yeah. Nice.
Speaker 4: I always get so scared that I'm going to get
Speaker 4: in trouble, so I always go above and beyond.
Speaker 3: I'll be like, OK, you're.
Speaker 1: Better safe than sorry. Yeah, But I don't think everyone's
Speaker 1: doing that, and I think sometimes that's what's really gray
Speaker 1: about it, is like if you're watching content that is
Speaker 1: actually advertising but you don't know it, that's weird.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean that's not supposed to happen so
Speaker 4: much that I'll see I'm like, I'll be and as
Speaker 4: the content creator, who's to this. There are times where
Speaker 4: I'm watching something and it's not until the end of
Speaker 4: the video I was like, this.
Speaker 3: Whole thing was sponsored. I didn't even know.
Speaker 1: It, you know, right, I know, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm unclear on all of it, right, But but
Speaker 1: I'm also just really like I don't want to do
Speaker 1: things where it's not clear.
Speaker 2: Because I don't want to be the problem.
Speaker 3: You know. Well, uh, you know.
Speaker 4: It's still kind of the wild wild West where it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: It is the Wait you have a podcast, tell us
Speaker 1: all the different things you do.
Speaker 3: It's super interesting.
Speaker 4: Oh gosh, it's so funny when Bob to like people
Speaker 4: would say to Bob, like, oh, what did your wife do?
Speaker 4: He would say the most random thing, because like, sometimes
Speaker 4: I don't even know what I do, Like, you know,
Speaker 4: when you start doing all these different things, like what
Speaker 4: do I do?
Speaker 3: But he would be like, she's a chef. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm not a chef. You can't tell people I'm a chef.
Speaker 4: That's funny though, Like I was like me, you cannot
Speaker 4: tell people I'm a chefer. He'd be like, she's a
Speaker 4: she's a travel journalist. And I was like, I'm not
Speaker 4: a journalist. You can't tell people I have like, you know,
Speaker 4: degrees that I don't have. I know. He was, He's like,
Speaker 4: what do you want me to say? Just give me
Speaker 4: the script anyway?
Speaker 3: So then did you give him the script? And did
Speaker 3: he do it?
Speaker 4: He's he tried, he would try, I would try anyway.
Speaker 4: So yeah, you know, I've always done a food and
Speaker 4: travel content creation for years, for over a decade now,
Speaker 4: like before it was really even a thing. And then
Speaker 4: after Bob passed, I had all these people coming to me,
Speaker 4: just not even really asking advice, but just kind of
Speaker 4: being like I remember after he passed.
Speaker 3: Two weeks later, I.
Speaker 4: Went on my first hike, and you know, I hadn't
Speaker 4: been sharing anything on social media, but I posted one
Speaker 4: thing of just the mountain and just saying, like, got
Speaker 4: outside today, and I had all these people being like,
Speaker 4: my mom just passed away last week and you just
Speaker 4: inspired me to go outside and I'm like, glad, like
Speaker 4: I don't know what the heck I'm doing, Like, don't
Speaker 4: follow my lead. I'm new to this game, you know.
Speaker 4: But I started getting all.
Speaker 3: These people coming to me. I was like, Okay, maybe
Speaker 3: I'll share a little bit more, and then I'll share
Speaker 3: a little bit more.
Speaker 4: And then it kind of became a thing where people
Speaker 4: were like, this has been helping when you talk about this,
Speaker 4: that's great. So then I started the first season of
Speaker 4: Comfort Food, which was you know, the podcast a couple
Speaker 4: of years ago, and it was really just interviewing people
Speaker 4: just sitting like this talking about grief and death, like
Speaker 4: you know, whoever my guest was, It's like, tell me
Speaker 4: about the loss you had, and let's talk about that
Speaker 4: while eating my guests favorite comfort food.
Speaker 3: Oh that's fun. To make it a little easier. Sure, And.
Speaker 4: I did a full season of that, and then I
Speaker 4: took a hiatus and then I just came back just recently.
Speaker 4: But I'm like I've grown since then, and I don't
Speaker 4: just want to talk about grief anymore.
Speaker 3: So now it's all different topics.
Speaker 4: You know, some solo episodes like My Bob and mister
Speaker 4: big episode where that was you know, grief in a
Speaker 4: sense and loss. But then you know, I have topics
Speaker 4: where I'm talking about romance scams or you know, I
Speaker 4: had one talking about like.
Speaker 3: Red flags and relationships. You know, it's all over the place.
Speaker 4: But the overall theme is something comforting at the end
Speaker 4: that people can take from it that hopefully can be helpful.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 3: That's so nice.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for joining us, Ken, Thank you
Speaker 2: so much.
Speaker 3: For having me.
Speaker 4: This was such a treat and I can't believe.
Speaker 3: I got to talk about sex and just like that
Speaker 3: with you. So such a dream.
Speaker 4: So thank you for having me, Thank you for coming