WEBVTT - And Just Like That…it happened to her. 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:04.880 Hi, I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:11.080 you a Charlotte. Well, this is a special, special, interesting, 0:00:11.240 --> 0:00:13.159 different episode that we're going to do of our year 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:17.959 Charlotte with Kelly Rizzo. Kelly it was married to Bob Sagett, 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:20.600 who I knew, not really well, right, so we've never met, 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:23.280 but I know that you have a very very interesting 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:30.160 story about unfortunately Bob's horrible, horribly untimely passing. And I 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:32.400 just want to say, yes, I did know Bob. 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:33.239 I knew Bob for. 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:35.880 Two reasons to hear, okay, okay, so excited. 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:40.120 One is Stay mos Okay, who I did a play with. 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:42.199 And you know, Bob was such a huge part of 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.440 his life that like, you know, you would just like 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:45.199 on the. 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:46.280 Phone with him, you know anything. 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:48.879 Yeah, yeah, So there was this stay Moost connection. 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:50.560 And then and I'd known John. 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:53.040 I known John before we did the play of the play. 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:56.160 I want to say it was like twenty twelve maybe, okay, 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:57.080 like a while ago. 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.279 And then also stand Up for. 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:06.360 Pitts, which is Reka Cory's foundation for pitbull I yes, yes, 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:10.000 Bob would often come and do comedy for free for 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:14.000 the benefit, so sweetly and so funny, and he'd be 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:16.840 on the red carpet and cracking jokes, and you know, 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:20.600 he had just had such a beautiful way about him, 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:23.280 and you know, he was so different than his you know. 0:01:23.640 --> 0:01:24.600 Full House character. 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:29.000 Honestly, Yes, yes, people were very surprised people could find. 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.959 Out about the real Box exactly exactly. But I think 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:34.520 the thing that was similar about and I didn't really 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:36.200 watch a lot of Full House. I was always so 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.640 surprised by how people would react to John as well. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.920 He had I think, energetically similarities, you know. 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:44.280 Which is true. 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:46.160 I think for a lot of actors, right, Like the 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.520 character is very different, but energetically very similar. Like even 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:52.280 if he was telling the most X rated joke, you know, 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.120 he's so joyful. 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:56.880 He was very lovable and cuddly yea, and he still 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.920 loved hugging people, you know, just like Danny Tanner exactly. 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:01.880 Yes, yes, we'll put, we'll put. 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:03.920 So he was he was just a force and it 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:06.600 was just so so sad and I felt for you 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:09.160 so much when he thank you. I mean, it's just 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:11.320 so shocking, you know, you just don't feel like that 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:12.200 can happen. 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:13.200 But yeah, it was. 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:17.600 Yeah, it's still and I can go right back to 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:21.720 that moment and in an instant of just how shocking 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:24.359 it was. And that's why I was so excited to 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:26.440 be able to chat with you about this, because I 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:33.480 had such a special, intrinsic, unique moment of my life 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:36.680 that tied in with and just like that, I mean 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:38.280 Sex and the City of course. And by the way, 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.440 you had an episode recently where you were talking to 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.399 your guest and they're like, I've seen the whole series 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:46.840 through like five times, and I. 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:52.320 Was like, five times, that's amateur. And that's what everyone 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:55.280 said on Instagram too. I was like, Oh, it was 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:55.799 so funny. 0:02:56.080 --> 0:03:00.239 But yeah, so you know, obviously that was such a 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.520 big part of my life, but to then have it 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:06.840 tie in so interestingly too and just like that, I 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:08.960 was like, We've got to talk about this because it 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:13.480 was so unbelievable just how it happened. And it was 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:19.280 a really strange life imitating art type situation that actually 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:21.959 happened to me right right, which. 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:26.200 Is you know, it's like, I think I've been told 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:28.560 that I sound like a victim about and just like that, 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:30.920 so I'm not going to do that, but I do 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.840 want to say one of the things about and just 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:35.440 like that that we wanted to do and I do 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.880 think we did, is to talk about things that start 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.560 to happen to you when you are lucky enough to 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:46.440 live past fifty. Yeah, and you know, people maybe didn't 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:48.880 want to see that. I don't know, but I do 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:51.440 think it's really real. And I think for many people 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:53.800 that I see and meet and run into, you know, 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:56.080 they have some connection, they want to tell me, you know, 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:57.520 this happened to me, and that happened to me, and 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.040 you know, I think it's important to tell those. 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:05.119 It's so important. And that's why, you know, I'd never 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:09.400 really thought about grief before or death until I lost Bob, 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:12.840 and then it kind of became almost all I was 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.880 talking about. And then you realize when it's something that 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:20.560 becomes so normalized to you, it's still not normalized to 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.400 other people. And talking about grief and death was still 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:26.200 and has been still very kind of taboo, which is 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:29.320 so sad, right, which because it happens to everybody, it's 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:31.800 like we're all going to experience it in one way 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:36.839 or another. And it just became so normalized for me. 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:41.800 And so it is interesting then because I just two 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:45.160 days ago went back and rewatched those episodes because I 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.400 hadn't seen them since the day before, not even the. 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:50.680 Day before, hours before pop my. 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:54.040 Got okay, so let's tell our listeners this story because 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:55.640 it's it's so crazy to me. 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:57.120 It is really crazy, right. 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:02.760 So, Kelly was a fan, you know, obviously had grown 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.640 up on Sex and the City since I was in college, 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:09.080 and I hadn't seen it so many times and it. 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:10.479 Was such a big part of my life and loved it, 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:11.200 loved it, loved it. 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:15.839 And then I had just started watching and just like 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.200 that because it was you know, season one, episode one, 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:22.159 and I think I'd been putting it off because I'm like, okay, 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:24.560 I want to really dig in when I can give 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:28.080 it some proper attention. And Bob was out of town 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:32.480 doing he was on tour. He was in Florida, and 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:35.000 he had done one show the night before, and then 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:38.360 he was doing a show that night. And this was 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:43.320 now January eighth, twenty twenty two, and I was lying 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:44.159 in bed with COVID. 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:47.280 I felt awful. I had the worst sore throat. 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:49.839 I was just miserable, and I'm constantly texting Bob like 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:52.520 I don't understand, like I should be getting better by now, 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:55.560 and he's like giving me all these instructions of you know, 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:58.200 what meds to take and you know what to do 0:05:58.320 --> 0:05:59.880 and a lot of it. I'm like, yeah, okay, I'm 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:02.480 I'm an adult. I know I should take Adville or whatever. 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:05.080 But you know, so we're going back and forth and 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:07.960 he's like, why don't you just watch something that makes 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:11.000 you happy tonight and makes you feel comfortable and just 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:15.360 he's like, i'll be home tomorrow, just you know, watch 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:17.679 a comfort show. And I was like, well, that's usually 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:20.000 sex in the city. I was like, no, no, no, wait, 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.080 I haven't and just like that's out now. 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:23.440 Oh no. So I told him. 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:25.800 I was like, I'm going to watch this and he's like, great, 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:29.680 that's perfect. Take some meds, relax, watch that in bed. 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:34.040 So that's what I did. I watch the first episode 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:40.200 and sorry spoiler alert, Big dies right, and I remember 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:46.640 feeling so devastated for Carrie because you know, this character, 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:51.040 like he's been in everyone's life for twenty five years. 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.920 And I'm like, oh, like that's awful. And I had 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:58.200 already started comparing Bob to Big in certain ways and 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:02.719 in the good ways. You know, they're both very tall, dark, handsome, 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:04.880 love cigars, you know, this kind of. 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:09.880 Cooler, cooler than life persona, just very. 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:13.520 Smooth and suave, and so, you know, Bob was kind 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:15.560 of like my mister Big in a sense. And so 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:19.120 I'm watching this and I remember thinking like, oh, my 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:24.160 husband's a little older, and it just kind of hit me. 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:28.600 I was like, oh, that would just feel so awful, 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:31.960 And I remember just feeling gutted, like for her, but 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.960 also putting myself in that position, like what would that 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:39.600 be like? And I remember just like crying and being 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:41.920 so sad and you're like, oh, it's probably is not 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.880 good for my sore throat, but whatever, I'm into it 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:48.200 now totally. And then I start watching the second episode 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:52.120 where it's the funeral and what she's experiencing. And I 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:54.440 got to tell you when I just rewatched it and 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:56.480 I saw it was Michael Patrick King who wrote that, 0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:00.320 I'm like, how much this man must have known about 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:03.040 grief or what that process is like, because he nailed 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:05.400 it so perfectly. 0:08:05.600 --> 0:08:06.920 That's nice to hear, thank you. 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.320 I mean, it was just just the feeling and how 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:12.760 you have to have your friends sleep in bed with you. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:16.200 And just you you know, it was just on point. 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:19.680 Thank you. Anyway, So I'm watching that second episode and 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:21.120 just being like that would just. 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.120 Be so awful, Like, oh, how sad to have your 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:25.160 husband pass away? 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:31.360 Yeah, but thinking so vividly remembering being like, oh, thank god, 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.560 that's not me. Thank God, it's not me at least 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:37.920 that's not me. But one day when that happens to me, 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:40.000 now I have some sort of frame of reference of, 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:44.560 you know, what that might be like. And then going 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:47.880 to sleep that night feeling so heartbroken for these characters 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.960 that you're seeing on TV that you know I've loved 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:53.920 for so long, and then being like, oh, but that's 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:59.440 not me. My husband is safe and in his hotel room, 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:02.640 just finish this incredible show that he was so proud 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:06.320 of and so happy with, And then waking up the 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.160 next morning and can't get a hold of him, and 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:12.760 then obviously finding out that time wise, he probably passed 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:16.640 away a few hours after I actually watched that and 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:21.760 had those thoughts so so sad, it's just so crazy, 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:24.480 But it didn't really dawn on me until then I 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:27.520 went back, even maybe a couple months later, because obviously 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:29.520 I didn't watch TV for. 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:31.840 A long time after that, and I was like, I 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:33.880 think I want to go back and watch. 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:39.440 Watch more of that and watch the several episodes after that, 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.520 and just like that, and then it all came back 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:42.720 to me. 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:45.800 I was like, oh, oh my god, that's what happened. 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:48.240 I watched that right before Bob passed. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:52.559 And then I started watching the episode, you know, with 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:56.880 with Charlotte and carry where they're going through the boxes 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:59.280 and stuff, and I was like I had to do that, 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:01.920 you know, and I was like, this is my life now. 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:04.480 It was just so surreal and just so weird. 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:08.000 My question is I mean, it's it is. It's amazing 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:11.240 to hear that. I mean, I'm horribly sorry that you 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:14.880 had to go through this obviously, but then the fact 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:16.720 that you were in it and you could get like 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:18.560 that you've been watching it and you were trying to 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:20.719 empathize and thinking, I'm so lucky I'm not there. I mean, 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.000 this is really why we do what we do, right, 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:26.280 to try to have real you know, and to empathize. 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:30.959 It was real, Like to empathize is such a beautiful thing. 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:31.160 You know. 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:33.160 You're trying to think like, oh, that's so sad for her, 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:34.680 and how would I feel? And I'm so happy that 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.800 my husband's safe, you know, but does anyone ever really safe? 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:37.960 No? 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.080 Right, no, unfortunately no. 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:43.400 But it's such an interesting thing to think about the 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.640 connections that you can make through what we do, right, 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:49.920 and that's why we do it, the connections. But then, 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:55.160 you know, did you feel like it helped you later 0:10:55.360 --> 0:11:00.320 on to recognize things like I did feel this or 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:04.160 you know, she when I because you talk about his 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.079 closet as all of these things, like what. 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:09.000 Was there a help in that connection? 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:12.520 A thousand percent? And that's interesting that you asked that, 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:16.319 because I hadn't really thought about that, Like did seeing 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:19.040 that portrayed whether you know it's a TV show or 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:21.560 if it was a documentary, it almost doesn't matter because 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:25.560 you're still seeing real, you know, actual portrayals of somebody 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:27.239 had gone through that at some point. 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:29.040 To even come up with that idea for sure. 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:33.360 So because when it happens to you and then all 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:36.800 of a sudden, you know you're a widow, and you know, 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:38.520 in my case, I was forty two at the time, 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:43.600 and I didn't really know other widows, or if I did, 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:48.360 I didn't sure, no, like dig deep into that world 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:50.839 because it didn't apply to me yet, right, you know. 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:52.160 So it's kind of almost free. 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:54.160 It's very personal and internal. 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:56.599 Yeah, in a lot of ways, which is not necessarily 0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:58.680 all that helpful, right, but it's really hard to be 0:11:58.800 --> 0:11:59.920 with someone in their grief. 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.280 You can try, but it's hard, exactly. 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:07.079 And you know, until you've lost somebody like I had 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:09.800 never really lost anybody close to me, and anyone who has, 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:11.760 like then it's like you're in the club, like you 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.959 get it. And I didn't get it before got it. 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:20.120 And so when I saw anybody, like when I met 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:24.319 Widows after that, I felt so not alone, like, oh 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.360 my god, there's other people who get this, because you 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:30.360 feel so alone in this really weird world. But then 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:34.600 rewatching it again, being like, oh my god, I literally 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:38.120 felt all those things that Carrie was feeling, like when 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.319 she went into the closet, and when I rewatched it, 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:44.440 I realized that she was like hugging his suits, and 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:47.400 I'm like, I did that. I remember like hugging Bob's 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.880 suits and seeing them all lined up so perfectly, just 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:53.280 like bigs were, and like I remember like smelling them 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:56.480 and being like, oh my god, like he's never coming 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:59.839 home to this stuff, and it was just so s 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:03.160 such a bizarre feeling, but then seeing it, you know 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:07.040 on TV, I'm like, okay, like I'm not crazy for 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:09.319 feeling this, or I'm not crazy for experiencing this. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:10.920 No, not at all yet at all. 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:28.280 Grief is hard to even touch in terms of portrayal. 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:29.640 Or you know, any of it. 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:33.200 It's such a very unique and everyone obviously has their 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:37.520 own version of it, right, but especially like sudden sudden 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.640 loss like you experienced, it's just horrible, like you have 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:45.400 no preparation whatsoever. And that's the interesting part of this 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:48.480 story for me is that there's no way. It's not 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:50.840 as though he were sick. It's not as though you 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.840 had had some kind of health warning or anything like that. Right, 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.360 so in some ways this was your only preparation in 0:13:57.400 --> 0:14:00.679 a weird way, meaning like what time of the time 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:03.960 and everything, and you really trying to empathize with Carrie, 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:06.640 which is so sweet, Like that's the connection to that 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:08.640 we have with our viewers that you know, you guys 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:09.040 are like. 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:10.920 Oh, I felt so bad for her. 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:13.360 You feel that in a different way going to suck 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:13.719 for her. 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:17.120 I don't need to worry about that, right, you know, 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:22.600 until five hours later. But what the show also did 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:26.680 very interestingly was the use of humor as well. And 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:30.400 that's something I learned from Bob so much, was that, 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:34.080 you know, that's part of why he became a comedian 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.520 because he had so much death in his life. He 0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:42.200 had so much death, and you know, darkness and comedy 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:46.320 helped him. And even since I knew him, there would 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.560 be people, you know, friends of his that he was 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:51.680 losing all the time, and he would call their wife 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.360 or call their family and like make jokes to them 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:57.200 like the day they died. Like, you can't do that, 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:01.440 you can't joke with somebody death. And he's like, yeah, 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:05.040 you can, and you should, right, I mean, I guess 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:05.800 in the right way. 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:09.280 I mean, if you should exactly. It was like he 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:10.240 had a way about it. 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:14.680 Yeah. But then I remember in some of those episodes, 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:16.280 you know, like they're like Miranda was trying to make 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.720 a couple jokes here, yeah, and sometimes they didn't land 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:20.920 And I was like, oh, like if I like that 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:24.080 would have landed for me because I would have appreciated 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:25.120 the joke. 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:26.920 Yeah, I know, people don't you know. 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.200 No, No, It's very very unique, and I think that's 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.200 also what's so hard about portraying it. Or connecting to 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.440 it is that each version is going to be different, right. 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:37.160 I oh, I remember the story and I don't remember 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:38.280 did did do you know? 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:40.880 Did Bob know? Roy London? He was a really great 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:41.520 acting teacher. 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:44.280 We had sounds so familiar. I feel like there was. 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:46.520 A connection, but I can't remember what it was exactly. 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.760 But Roy used to tell the story about. 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.320 He would coach people for big films and you know, 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:54.120 like break down the script with them and talk about 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:56.320 things to do and one and he his thing was 0:15:56.880 --> 0:16:01.000 like not to have any rules or parameters around how 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.560 you responded in the moment, and to have freedom on 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:06.760 the set that you were going to do what you 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:08.840 felt the character needed to do and not be shut 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:10.920 down by the director or anything like that. Right, there 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.000 was a scene I can't remember who it was, but 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.840 it was some big movie star person in a film 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:20.800 where someone died and he wanted them to I believe, 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:27.080 stand up on a table or something something odd, right, 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:29.200 And the director was like, no, no, you can't do that. 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.080 And he told the actor to say, well, this is 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:35.320 what happened to me when my dad died. This is 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.840 what happened to me, this is what I did, and 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:39.600 that that would and. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:40.480 It was true or wasn't true. 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:43.160 It wasn't true, It wasn't true, but it was because 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:46.160 every version of grief is its own thing, and you 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:51.240 don't even understand when you're in it what you're feeling 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:52.920 or saying or doing or you know what I'm saying. 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.680 You're in an alternate universe that you didn't expect to 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:58.080 be in, especially in the situation with bub where it's 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:01.880 a sudden bam, you know, like life has changed dramatically 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:05.760 from one hour to the next hour. And I think 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:09.160 that's important to remember and sometimes really hard when you're 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.720 trying to portray it on screen, right because you're trying 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:14.760 to connect and you want it to seem real. Obviously 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.560 it's not real, right, we're acting. But I know that 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.360 Sir Jeska and Michael Patrick really really wanted to tell 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:21.840 the story and had been talking about it for a 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:24.479 long time, and it was a huge risk obviously. I mean, 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:26.719 there are people who are still upset with us about this. 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.200 You don't have saying that they did not want Big 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:32.040 died right away, yeah, and just that he died. In general, 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:34.680 they just don't want their characters to die. 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:35.280 I get it. 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:37.240 I get it, But I did feel like. 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:43.520 It's just a very very relatable thing that women go through. 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:46.040 It's real, especially I mean if he was a few 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:48.960 years older, they had they were together a long time, 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.160 but you had a heart attack, and like what's more 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:54.000 relatable than that. 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:58.080 Either it happened does us or someone we know. I mean, 0:17:58.400 --> 0:17:59.640 I'm sure you. 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:02.720 Know you know somebody who lost their husband suddenly to 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:06.119 a heart attack or something like. It's so common that 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:09.919 and it's interesting to see then what the characters do 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:12.040 with it. But like, as you mentioned, I would never 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:16.119 have thought that I could have if you would have 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:19.240 told me a day before, by the way, you're gonna 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.080 lose your husband tomorrow, and like you're gonna be making 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:24.919 jokes the day he died. But been like, absolutely not, 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:28.639 that's awful. And I remember I was at my house 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:31.960 in a house like there were a ton of comedians 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:35.800 over at my house that day, and you know, Jeff 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:38.680 ross Is, They're like like making jokes, and like I start, 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:43.080 I actually like smiled. I mean, I'm devastated in sobbing 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:45.160 ninety nine percent of the day. But then he'd say 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:47.000 something funny and then I would laugh, and then I 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:51.840 would attempt to say something funny back, and that's just life, Like, 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:52.920 you can't plan. 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:54.040 It now, you can't plan it. 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:56.199 Also, those were Bob's friends, right, so they're gonna have 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.800 that similar sense of humor to him, and they're gonna 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:01.479 understand that that what he would want them to do 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:04.840 for you in that moment, you know. Yeah, And I 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:06.919 think I think that's beautiful. I think that's beautiful. And 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.959 I think people are complicated, and you can't put yourself 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:11.520 in a box or put other people in a box 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:13.760 and say, oh, well, this wouldn't happen, or this would happen. 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:15.080 You don't even really know. 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:19.240 No, it's there's so much of it that happened that 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:23.359 I never would have guessed. And then it really truly 0:19:23.440 --> 0:19:26.000 dawned on me, as I mentioned just a few weeks 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:28.400 ago when doing my podcast, and I'm like, I want 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:31.439 to tell this story because I had mentioned it to 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.399 somebody in passing and they're like, wait, that's crazy, Like 0:19:34.640 --> 0:19:38.639 you watched that episode a couple hours before Bob Di. 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:42.080 I'm like, yeah, oh, it's crazy, that's insane. And then 0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:44.200 part of me is like, well. 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:48.199 Maybe it doesn't you know, seem as big of a 0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:49.800 coincidence to other people like, oh, you just happen to 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:51.959 be watching the show, but I'm like, no, it was. 0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:55.200 It was very intense. And then the memory I had 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:56.959 from that when I went back and watched was just 0:19:57.000 --> 0:20:00.960 so like that happened to me just hours later. It 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:02.040 was just so crazy. 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:03.320 It is crazy. 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.040