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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: presents morning show. We have to dedicate this fifteen minute

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Speaker 1: morning show podcast to Garrett's hair. Yes, look at that.

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Speaker 1: I like. I like hair like that's great. I wish

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Speaker 1: I could do that. I'm just playing at some hair.

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Speaker 1: That would be great. I just had some little hair

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Speaker 1: and a little more. There's Froggy Scotty b is in

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Speaker 1: his guest bedroom. I guess, but we can't hear him. Uh.

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Speaker 1: There's Gandhi and Scary and Straighten Nate who looks like

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Speaker 1: teen j who used to be on our show. It's

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Speaker 1: crazy how much he loves I can Danielle and Garrett

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Speaker 1: and Dave Rody. Hi, guys, welcome buck. I think Brodie

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Speaker 1: got a haircut. Brody, did you get a haircut? No,

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Speaker 1: it looks like No, it looks like he looks like

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Speaker 1: he got a cut. That looks different than I love

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Speaker 1: how Brody and Scary get along. Like Scary makes it.

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Speaker 1: He's like, fuck you Scary. Anyway, Let's try to get along, boys,

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Speaker 1: can we I'm done in the basement and two stories

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Speaker 1: up the one and only Uncle Johnny should try to

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Speaker 1: conjure him into the room. Yeah. Uh, Let me, let

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Speaker 1: me call him what we'll take longer getting him in

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Speaker 1: the zoom room or having him come downstairs. Yeah, let's

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Speaker 1: do it up there. Have you seen him walk? I

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Speaker 1: mean I saw Uncle Johnny this weekend and he was

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Speaker 1: wearing maybe my favorite outfit I've ever seen him, which

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Speaker 1: was a Hello Lady shirt, sweatshirt, a gold chain outside

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Speaker 1: of it, and then football pants footballs with like something

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Speaker 1: on it that how to do with football. I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is an interesting comment. Uncle Johnny, come down and

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Speaker 1: join us for the fifteen minute Morning show podcast. Okay,

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Speaker 1: do you remember how to get down here? Ye? Alright?

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Speaker 1: Did I catch you in the middle of something? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And he was when he's like, I'm gonna wear a

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Speaker 1: house shootes. You know those cheap house shoes you get

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Speaker 1: at hotels. I'm gonna wear these in the house. So

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Speaker 1: I don't, you know, tract my step in from outside.

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Speaker 1: So then I look up and he's walking around outside

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Speaker 1: in the house shoes. You need to be committed, and

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Speaker 1: then you have to watch who do you have to

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Speaker 1: watch more so your two dogs or Uncle Johnny. When

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Speaker 1: he's over, I don't know, someone's shipping all over the

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Speaker 1: floor in there. I think uncle, it's the dogs. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. So he should be down here in a

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Speaker 1: minute if he remembers how to roll down the staircase. Here,

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Speaker 1: is that you, Johnny? Johnny here? Get these headphones over here?

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Speaker 1: He made it? Are you you want to sit down?

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Speaker 1: Does he have his hair and teeth in? No? He

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Speaker 1: is He has his teeth and not his hair. No,

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Speaker 1: that microphone doesn't work. You have to use those headphones

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Speaker 1: right there. All right, you gotta come here. Come over

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Speaker 1: here with me. My god, it's gonna be awesome. Don't

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Speaker 1: get too close. Come over here. Hear me? Can you

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Speaker 1: hear me in the headphones? You're gonna turn the knob.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait a second, hold on, now, what I saw

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Speaker 1: uncle Johnny video that was on yesterday yesterday on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: and he was wearing that same exact sweater. Has he

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Speaker 1: changed out of that? You have an old man smell

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Speaker 1: he john sweatshirt. I decided to keep it on. It

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Speaker 1: was only two days. Okay, okay? Oh? How you everybody?

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Speaker 1: John showered? Have you showered? I'm going to when I

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Speaker 1: get home today, I'm weaving in it by the now. Oh,

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Speaker 1: the poor guy has to drive you home. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: don't smell that bad. He like an old uncle Johnny.

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Speaker 1: You got alexcepted his spotting novel over the place, Uncle Johnny,

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Speaker 1: what was the most embarrassing thing you did this weekend? Uh? Uh,

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Speaker 1: that doesn't make sense. He doesn't think anything he does

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Speaker 1: is embarrassing. So then, Elvis, what was the most embarrassing

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Speaker 1: thing he did? I don't know. Get Gandhi, Gandhi, what's

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Speaker 1: here's Alex? Oh? Great? What's Alex? Uncle Johnny took out

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Speaker 1: his penis for this weekend? The night. Yeah, he showed

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Speaker 1: his penis to Gandhi. Do you remember that, Gandhi? I do?

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Speaker 1: I remember that we named it after a food item.

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Speaker 1: I won't say what the food item was. Where do

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Speaker 1: we name it's not remember the garlic knot? It doesn't

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Speaker 1: look like anything that would be anywhere on a person's body.

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Speaker 1: It's very sorry. Here's the problem, as you know, is

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Speaker 1: he's getting older. His penis has retracting into his body

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Speaker 1: and he can't he can't dig it out. You can't

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Speaker 1: pull it out because the operations that I had, they

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Speaker 1: pulled out those tubes and everything went in just like

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Speaker 1: a tiny like like mushroom at things sticking out. Is

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Speaker 1: it like a little mushroom thing. I can't really describe it. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not. There's nothing, and correct me if I'm wrong,

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Speaker 1: Uncle Johnny. There's nothing actually like sticking out. It has

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Speaker 1: actually retracted in. And imagine like it's it's a little twisted.

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Speaker 1: There's like it looks like a garlic knot on on

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Speaker 1: the bottom of his stomach. He'll show you, He'll show you.

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Speaker 1: I went to it. I said, please give me my

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Speaker 1: thing back. Yes, he wants his fare back, and I'm

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Speaker 1: on the side. I had a normal thing for it.

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Speaker 1: He years now I now I have this sound. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what the hell is? So how do you aim?

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Speaker 1: I have to pull it out. So it does pull out,

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Speaker 1: so it's almost like retractable. So wait, wait, wait, wait,

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Speaker 1: So when you pull it out and then you pay,

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Speaker 1: then when you let go, doesn't like it's not back.

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Speaker 1: It goes right back in again. It's like a sack

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Speaker 1: in the box. And if I have to sit down

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Speaker 1: and and pee, it goes over my balls and down

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Speaker 1: into this to the toy waterfall. Right, Yeah, yeah, that's it.

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Speaker 1: So then you gotta wipe your whole screwed him off. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I just it's just a quot um uh podcast we're doing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can. It's a scrowding pocket. Now you can say

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Speaker 1: whatever you want. We're on the podcast, right we can, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he says. I turned the radio one and I heard

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Speaker 1: Froggy say funk. I mean, you can't say funk on

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Speaker 1: the radio. I said, that was the podcast, Uncle Johnny.

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Speaker 1: You know ship, Are we done with Uncle Johnny's penist talker? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What what do you want to know about the podcast? Okay? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I gotta Can we ask him anything or no? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: ask Uncle Johnny anything. When you get a boner, like,

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Speaker 1: does it didn't stick out? Or do you gotta pull

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Speaker 1: that out too? Honey? If I go to boner, I'd

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Speaker 1: be so happy. I always say, get it up at yours.

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Speaker 1: I want to. I want to hear one of Uncle

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Speaker 1: Johnny's classic stories of when the days when he was

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Speaker 1: a bouncer, you know, at Clutton nightclubs and you know,

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Speaker 1: and what he used to do. I heard you were

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Speaker 1: you were a goon, right, yeah, I was a bouncer

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Speaker 1: at the uh at I can't think of the name.

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Speaker 1: It was on the Upper East Side. She was married

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Speaker 1: to the too uh uh not a way. She was

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Speaker 1: married to the Wizard Taylor married him Richard Sybil Burtons.

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Speaker 1: It was called Sybil's and it was on an Upper

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Speaker 1: East side in the sixties, and I was escorting Judy

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Speaker 1: Cowan around. I was her escort and I'd bring her

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Speaker 1: up to the bars and things, and I was the

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Speaker 1: bouncer there, uh during the week. And during a week uh,

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Speaker 1: Patty Duke and Liza Minnelli came in and they were

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Speaker 1: sitting at the bar and they were having cocktails. And

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Speaker 1: I said hi, because I saw her earlier at the house.

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Speaker 1: And I said, alright, Gause, how are you doing tonight?

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Speaker 1: Said fine, I went and I went back out to

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Speaker 1: the door. And then the owner of the club came

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Speaker 1: over and said, Johnny, you gotta ask them to leave.

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Speaker 1: I said, do you know who they are? They can't leave,

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Speaker 1: and he goes, Johnny, they're doing cocaine at the bar.

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Speaker 1: This is back in the sixties seventies. And I said,

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Speaker 1: oh no, they wouldn't let it, and so he just

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Speaker 1: they must leave. So I went up and said, girls,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna leave. And that was very embarrassing. Liza Minnelli, Hey,

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Speaker 1: Johnny was the toughest you ever got at the bar, like,

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Speaker 1: what was your like tough guys story? Did you used

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Speaker 1: to beat people up? Johnny? Well, if they got me,

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Speaker 1: if they got me upset because I changed a little.

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Speaker 1: You want to hear a little? Yes? Please, Hey, don't

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Speaker 1: funk with me, Get the funk out here. The dog. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I never heard the side of you, Johnny, that ever,

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Speaker 1: at least the beat. But that happens when I'm on

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Speaker 1: the street. If anybody all you out of here, like

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Speaker 1: el did you hear your uncle Johnny? Do that a minute?

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Speaker 1: I have a question. I have a question for uncle Johnny.

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Speaker 1: Uncle Johnny. Now you had sex with merv Griffin? Correct? Yes? Now?

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Speaker 1: Now were you was this uh just a friendship thing?

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Speaker 1: Or did you say that you were a jiggalow and

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Speaker 1: he paid you for sex? No, he didn't pay me.

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Speaker 1: Did he me gave me a preceded to show? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: did you did you ever operate as a jiggabow? Yes?

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Speaker 1: But a very short time they wanted me to come

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Speaker 1: a hooker and uh so they said, Johnny, We're going

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Speaker 1: to set you up with some people. This is who's they?

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Speaker 1: Another hooker who met me on the street. She met

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Speaker 1: me through judy and everything. So he says, why why

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Speaker 1: don't you, uh, you know, because you know you could

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Speaker 1: do this? And I said, well, I don't know. It's

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Speaker 1: five hundred dollars. This is back in the six And

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Speaker 1: what did you have to do for? Was there a

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Speaker 1: past to bed with them? What did you have to

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Speaker 1: do like just like you know, give him a little

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Speaker 1: handy or do you have to go all the way? Well,

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Speaker 1: what I did is I got in a cab. We'd

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Speaker 1: get to the We went to the Hip, the hotel

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Speaker 1: by its central pox South the Hilt him or whatever

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Speaker 1: it is. Uh, we went there, um and we went.

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Speaker 1: I got out of the cab, I said that all right,

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Speaker 1: I got this and we went into the bar. You paid,

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Speaker 1: So we went into the bar. He he steals my microphone.

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Speaker 1: I got to finished the story. You're trying to cut

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Speaker 1: in the middle. He said, we go to the bar.

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Speaker 1: He honestly, what are you gonna have? I said, I'll

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Speaker 1: have this and he said he'll have a drink and

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Speaker 1: we uh because he had his room upstairs, so we

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Speaker 1: orded the drinks. He says, you're ready to go and

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Speaker 1: I said sure. I says, uh, can we get the

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Speaker 1: check please? I take care of that. And so that's

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Speaker 1: He looked at me and he says, how long you've

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Speaker 1: been doing this? I said not long? Why he says,

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Speaker 1: we're supposed to pay. Ever, so I went upstairs. He

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Speaker 1: tried to do something. I turned my back to him

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Speaker 1: and and I jerked him off from behind. I've never

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Speaker 1: been a hook to send. That was a fabulous ending.

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Speaker 1: Didn't see that coming. He turned his back to him,

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Speaker 1: He turned his back to him and jerked him on

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Speaker 1: from behind him or in front of him. But he

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Speaker 1: was laying in bed based on me, and I turned

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Speaker 1: around because I didn't want to look at him. That's

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Speaker 1: the worst joker ever. That's that's what they told me.

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Speaker 1: Extra good. You had one job. How much have we

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Speaker 1: doing on time? Oh? We got just two and a

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Speaker 1: half minutes another we got room for another story. So

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Speaker 1: uncle Johny, Uncle Johnny Johnny, did you ever sleep with women?

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Speaker 1: Didn't women pay you for sex? I know, well I

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Speaker 1: did sleep with a couple of women, and they never

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Speaker 1: paid me. But I kept getting very confused because there

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Speaker 1: was nothing there. When I went down, they had like

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Speaker 1: you And now I'm living the whole story in my life.

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Speaker 1: But now that's inside of me exactly now I keep

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Speaker 1: paying the Prince the price. I would love this as

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Speaker 1: a cartoon. How many how many different women have you

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Speaker 1: been with? Johnny? With that? Three were asking Danielle. One

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Speaker 1: of the most impressive things other than these stories and

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Speaker 1: Uncle Johnny has ever told me, is how many blenders

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Speaker 1: he could have going at once, how many drinks he

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Speaker 1: was able to make at one Time's where the Hello

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Speaker 1: Lady came from when you were talking about earlier. I

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Speaker 1: had thirty six blenders. I'd made a twenty drinks in

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Speaker 1: six minutes. And it was fifty five years ago, and

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Speaker 1: I was by attending and uh, everybody would be around

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Speaker 1: the handing out these drinks and I'd say hello lady

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Speaker 1: because they would say how much and that it would

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Speaker 1: be digging for money. And I had five deep at

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Speaker 1: the bar. So that's where the Hello Lady comes from. Lady,

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Speaker 1: come on, I'm busy here. Can we try to recreate that? Huh?

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Speaker 1: Can we try to read create that dirty seven blenders?

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Speaker 1: You know, we'll break your record. We'll get thirty seven blenders.

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Speaker 1: That was fifty five years ago. I was like twenty

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Speaker 1: four years ago. We're how many how many blenders do

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Speaker 1: you think you could do now that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be seventy. But how many blenders could you handle? Now?

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Speaker 1: I do? Now? I do about six. That's still a

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Speaker 1: lot more than I could do. Good for you? How

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Speaker 1: many men could you handle it? Once? Now with your

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Speaker 1: back turned, you know it's over me that I just

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Speaker 1: enjoyed looking. Part of all of this is that Uncle

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Speaker 1: Johnny just nonchalant. LI said, I met the hookahs, you know,

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Speaker 1: through Judy, through Judy Garland. No, I've met them. Well,

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Speaker 1: I was bringing her route to the gay cars. Oh okay,

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Speaker 1: I had a lot of questions. Well this this is

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Speaker 1: a great what a nice surprise of her was? Drop

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Speaker 1: in podcast. Want I want to hear more of your

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Speaker 1: bouncer voice? Ye, send us off in your bouncer voice, Johnny,

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Speaker 1: all right, fuck up, Scarby, don't fucking with me because

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Speaker 1: you're going to be in trouble. You see, see your

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Speaker 1: asser be out the door in no time. Over that said,

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Speaker 1: he said, Uncle Johnny, Peace out everybody? All right, why

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Speaker 1: don't you take a bath? Fifteen minute Morning Show