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Speaker 1: If you have your own story of being in a

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Speaker 1: cult or a high control group, or if you've had

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Speaker 1: an experience with manipulation or abuse of power you'd like

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Speaker 1: to share, leave us a message on our hotline number

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Speaker 1: at five one three nine hundred two nine five five.

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Speaker 2: Or shoot us an email at trust Me pod at

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Speaker 2: gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: Trust me, trust Me.

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Speaker 2: I'm like a swat person.

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Speaker 3: I've never lied to you.

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Speaker 1: And if you think that one person has all the answers,

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Speaker 1: don't welcome to Trust Me. The podcast about cults, extreme

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Speaker 1: belief and the abusive power from two starlits who've actually

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Speaker 1: experienced it.

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Speaker 3: I am lo LeBlanc and I am Megan Elizabeth.

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Speaker 1: And today our guests are ourselves.

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Speaker 3: Hi, how are you me? Wow?

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Speaker 1: Wait? Hello me?

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Speaker 3: Also? Oh, I mean you too?

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Speaker 1: Cool?

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Speaker 2: Whatever.

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Speaker 3: I'm really excited about this. One guess in particular good

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Speaker 3: to me.

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Speaker 1: As the reason we don't have a guest is because

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Speaker 1: we got ghosted twice, two times. You know, it's our fault.

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Speaker 1: What it's our fault. Fool me. One's shame on you,

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Speaker 1: fool me twice, shame on me. He fooled us twice.

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Speaker 3: Okay, But if somebody's like, oh shit, sorry, my bad.

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Speaker 3: Are you supposed to be like m m?

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Speaker 1: True?

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Speaker 2: But if we if we set up a third interview

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Speaker 2: with him, we would be insane. But I'm gonna tell

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Speaker 2: you something, I probably would.

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Speaker 1: This has gotta be our running joke. We should try

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Speaker 1: to have an interview with this guy every single week

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Speaker 1: just to know who we're talking about. Who we've been

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Speaker 1: trying to talk to. It is a guy who is

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Speaker 1: the UK leader of the Rallian Movement. They are an

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Speaker 1: alien a group yep, commonly called a cult. We won't

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Speaker 1: call them that, of course not but fascinating group. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: he didn't come on. So today we're gonna just talk

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Speaker 1: to each other. Okay, great, or talk to ourselves next

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Speaker 1: to each other. Sure, he's depending, and we're gonna discuss

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Speaker 1: our own experiences in the.

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Speaker 3: Cult of Hollywood woo blu.

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Speaker 1: So where should we begin, Megan?

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Speaker 3: Well, should we start with our cultest thing of the week?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, we should?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Hello, So are we talking about the same thing? We're

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Speaker 1: talking about the same thing?

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Speaker 3: I think we should.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, So this week we are discussing a story

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Speaker 1: that's in the news about a woman whose name I'm

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Speaker 1: going to mispronounce and I apologize, Samima. How do you

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Speaker 1: think that is pronounced be jum be be gum. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: she is a former member of ISIS. She's a British

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Speaker 1: young lady who left England when she was fifteen years

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Speaker 1: old to join ISIS. She married an extremist man from

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Speaker 1: the Netherlands, I want to say, and she left with

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Speaker 1: two fellow like teenage girl friends.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're just like, let's get out of here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like spring Breaker style, except joining ISIS. And she

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Speaker 1: no longer is a member. There's a quote from her

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Speaker 1: recently saying that she would rather die than rejoin the group.

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Speaker 1: But she has lost her British citizenship because she did join,

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Speaker 1: and she's now living in a Syrian refugee camp. She

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Speaker 1: also no longer has a citizenship and her other country

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Speaker 1: that she would potentially do you remember which one that was?

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Speaker 1: I don't remember. Okay, Well, basically she doesn't have a

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Speaker 1: home now because she's like been ejected from the countries

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Speaker 1: that she could live in or did live in, because

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Speaker 1: she did join ISIS, even though she now denounces the

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Speaker 1: group and thinks it's a horrible, crazy thing that she did.

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Speaker 2: Right now, she's living in a refugee camp. I think

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Speaker 2: she's had four children, I believe, and she's lost two

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Speaker 2: of them.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, I read that she's had three children and

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Speaker 1: she lost all of them.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, well obviously I'm not sure, but whatever the case,

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Speaker 2: she has babies, which makes me sad. You have a

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Speaker 2: lot more compassion for everyone in these situations than me.

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Speaker 3: Like my immediate response is like, well.

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Speaker 1: You're like, fuck that bitch, Fuck that bitch. And I

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Speaker 1: think that that is how a lot of Americans would feel.

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Speaker 1: I think in particular this country, but also many countries

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Speaker 1: understandably have a lot of fear around ISIS. They're terrorists.

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Speaker 1: It's a terrorist organization, right. I also think that when

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Speaker 1: you are fifteen years old, you're joining a terrorist organization.

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Speaker 1: Probably not because you're thinking I want to go be

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Speaker 1: a terrorist right now? That sounds like fun. What she

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Speaker 1: said was she thought she was joining a Muslim community

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Speaker 1: and she was going with her friends. Again, fifteen, married

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Speaker 1: to an extremist kid. Like yeah, and she's only twenty two. Still,

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Speaker 1: I'm like the shit that. I again, keep in mind,

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Speaker 1: the age that I prayed to Satan for friends was

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Speaker 1: age thirteen. This young lady joined ISIS at age fifteen,

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Speaker 1: and it is not that different. I am not saying

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Speaker 1: little different. No, I literally joined Isis Megan. I mean

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Speaker 1: the age is not that different, to be clear. Not

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Speaker 1: the actions, right, Okay, you no, the action's pretty different.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't either.

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Speaker 1: At least according to her, she didn't commit any crimes.

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Speaker 1: There's never been an actual trial for her. She is saying, like,

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Speaker 1: all that I did in Isis was be a wife

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Speaker 1: and a mother. I did not know that there was

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Speaker 1: this attack that was going to actually kill all of

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Speaker 1: these people. And she basically hates the group now and

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Speaker 1: she wants to help the British government fight terrorism.

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Speaker 2: Right, it's like a twist on Homeland. Yeah, sure, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think you know.

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Speaker 3: One of the things to look.

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Speaker 2: At here, that's it's just how viscerally it is so nice.

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Speaker 3: To have a bad guy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Oh absolutely, no, bitch, you're stupid.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely there, and we can all agree on it, right,

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Speaker 2: you're an idiot.

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Speaker 1: I think that that is so true, and I think

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Speaker 1: that it's an especially American mentality. We grew up on

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Speaker 1: these movies with you know, there's like a clear villain

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Speaker 1: and the tough military buff man's gonna fight him or whatever,

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Speaker 1: you know, like this, Listen, my boyfriend loves these fucking

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Speaker 1: dad movies that we all grew up on. And it's true,

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Speaker 1: like it is easier to see the world that way.

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Speaker 1: And like anyone who actually is coming in a crime,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I've said this a million times, they

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Speaker 1: should face consequences for especially if anyone was harmed, that

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Speaker 1: is a whole different thing, right, But when we're just

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Speaker 1: talking about somebody who was brainwashed into joining a group

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Speaker 1: and then didn't want to be in the group anymore,

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Speaker 1: that would apply to so many of our previous guests

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Speaker 1: that we've had, absolutely including members of our family. And

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Speaker 1: you know, like, of course it's another level of extreme

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Speaker 1: because you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's it is, it's so layered, and

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Speaker 2: I'm just really getting in touch with my initial reaction

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Speaker 2: of just absolute joy at having somebody who's just obviously

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Speaker 2: done something stupider than me.

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Speaker 3: And condemning them for it.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know me, I'm always fascinated in

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Speaker 1: the why, why is somebody behaving the way that they're behaving.

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Speaker 1: You know, in the case of somebody like a serial killer,

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Speaker 1: generally they're probably behaving that way. Because there's something fucked

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Speaker 1: up about their brain, right. But I think for the

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Speaker 1: most part, barring like sociopaths, most people there is a

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Speaker 1: logic to their decisions based on the life that they

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Speaker 1: have lived. Yes, there is a pain that they are

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Speaker 1: suffering that they are seeking some kind of relief from.

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Speaker 1: That's true of all of us. And of course we

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Speaker 1: are in America. I think most of our listeners are

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Speaker 1: probably American. It's really really hard to relate to the

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Speaker 1: idea that you would join an extremist group, you know,

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Speaker 1: But I can't say that I wouldn't. I can't say that.

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Speaker 3: Of course not. I mean, I can say, wouldn't join

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Speaker 3: isis pretty.

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Speaker 1: Well in your life right now?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, But I don't know.

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Speaker 1: But if you were living a different life and different circumstances,

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Speaker 1: you just really don't know. And I think that's just

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Speaker 1: where I'm coming from because my understanding of the world

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Speaker 1: and psychology and everyone that I have spoken to, my

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Speaker 1: frame of ref ref my worldview is such that everyone

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Speaker 1: is the good guy in their story, and everyone thinks

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Speaker 1: that they're doing a thing that is good, or at

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Speaker 1: least it makes sense to them. Nobody is setting out

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Speaker 1: to be a terrorist, or to be a bad guy,

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Speaker 1: like they don't see themselves that way, or.

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Speaker 2: At the very least, if they're like, Okay, I'm like

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Speaker 2: doing something better, but it's the best I can.

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Speaker 1: Do, or like it will serve the greater good because

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Speaker 1: of this belief system that I.

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Speaker 3: Have, or like I'm on a ton of drugs and

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Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: Or I just took so much meth and I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: rip my eyeballs out.

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Speaker 3: These are the options.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm interested to see what happens with us.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like she's kind of fucked at the moment,

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Speaker 1: But I do think that everybody deserves a trial. That's

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Speaker 1: my personal opinion. I'm not that educated about the political

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Speaker 1: situation that she is dealing with, though, so you know,

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Speaker 1: open to being wrong as always, but pretty sure all

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Speaker 1: humans need a fair trial for you know, to have

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Speaker 1: their citizenship revoked. That's my current take. Cool Bangladesh, Bangladesh,

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Speaker 1: thank you. Bangladesh is the other country that her citizenship

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Speaker 1: was revoked from.

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Speaker 3: Cool.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So should we just dive into our topic? Absolutely

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Speaker 1: our topic today? Right, You and I two ladies in Hollywood.

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Speaker 1: We are going to talk about the power dynamics that

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Speaker 1: happen in this industry and also coincidentally town that we

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Speaker 1: live in.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So to start, I'm curious, have you ever experienced like

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Speaker 1: a grave power imbalance that you felt like was abused

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Speaker 1: or was rife for abuse? Right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, do tell Well.

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Speaker 2: When I first moved here, I started working for a

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Speaker 2: TV show in post production, and I was so excited

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Speaker 2: about it, you know, like I have my little notepad

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Speaker 2: and everything, and I remember my boss calling me in.

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Speaker 2: I was like, time to get an assignment, and so

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Speaker 2: I sat down and he.

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Speaker 3: Was like, all right, what would it take to sleep

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Speaker 3: with you? O?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when you were how old?

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Speaker 3: I was like twenty two three and you had just

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Speaker 3: moved here. Yeah. Oh, I had my little pencil idea.

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Speaker 3: I was like, and I did jection about it.

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Speaker 2: I made it into a and was like, you can't

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Speaker 2: a fight it, and just like laughed it off and whatever.

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Speaker 3: I should have, you know, stood up, But I didn't know.

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Speaker 1: You should have reacted exactly the way that you reacted

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Speaker 1: when people are trying to survive in that situation as

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Speaker 1: an intern, I mean.

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Speaker 3: It was kind of a nightmare.

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Speaker 2: And then I think my next job after that was

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Speaker 2: like kind of the same thing happened and.

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Speaker 1: Really yeah, and then I like straight up that direct

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Speaker 1: about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah wow, yeah, I mean it's.

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Speaker 1: So ballsy to just be that.

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Speaker 3: This is pre me too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So it was just like a whole was so

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Speaker 1: it was so normalized.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so so weird.

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Speaker 2: And like all the girls that I worked with in

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Speaker 2: one particular job, so there was like, you know, guys

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Speaker 2: who were like maybe in their forties, and then there

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Speaker 2: was a few of us girls who are like early twenties,

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Speaker 2: and they guys were all married, but these girls would

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Speaker 2: like go out with them every night and like sometimes the.

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Speaker 3: Cup with them. Oh god, and they just like do

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Speaker 3: you want to come on? And I was like no,

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 1: Wow, Well good for you for not doing.

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Speaker 3: That, I guess, but I think it's just yeah, that

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Speaker 3: was my experience with that.

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Speaker 2: And then I kind of like shut the gate. And

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Speaker 2: now nothing like that happens to me. Mm, Like nobody

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Speaker 2: is getting the wrong idea.

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Speaker 3: Mmm.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think a lot has changed in the

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Speaker 1: past few years too. There are such a you know,

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Speaker 1: people are very afraid now. I do think that the

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Speaker 1: fear of getting in trouble has proved to be a

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Speaker 1: much larger deterrent than like the fear of, you know,

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Speaker 1: raping someone. But oh, by the way, that brings me

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Speaker 1: to this episode might be potentially triggering because we're definitely

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about sexual assault, so be prepared or do

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Speaker 1: not listen. I say, yeah, did you see the guy

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Speaker 1: who directed Supersize Me or Supersize Me the movie of

255
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Speaker 1: the movie? Yeah, I mean I didn't watch it, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I just read an article about him where he

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Speaker 1: like came out before anybody came out about him and

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Speaker 1: was like, me too.

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Speaker 2: I am the problem though, like he didn't. Yeah, like

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Speaker 2: I've harassed so many women. I've done this, I've done that,

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Speaker 2: and like very very not cool.

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Speaker 1: Shit, when did this happen?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know when he did that.

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Speaker 3: Maybe a year ago.

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Speaker 1: Wow, Yeah, you know, I respect it.

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Speaker 3: I go back and forth.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like, you're just like kind of getting out there,

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Speaker 2: getting ahead of it and like being so frank that

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Speaker 2: you have to kind of like the Louis c k

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Speaker 2: thing where you like throwing a little thing like I'm

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Speaker 2: coming forward finally, because guys are saying they don't believe

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Speaker 2: these women and I'm telling these guys to shut the

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Speaker 2: fuck up.

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Speaker 3: Do you remember that Louis c.

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Speaker 2: K said that, Yeah, Luiz K was like, I did

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Speaker 2: do this to women, and it disgusted me to see

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Speaker 2: men on the internet saying that I didn't because they're

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Speaker 2: my fan.

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Speaker 1: Oh I did not, and I didn't catch that part

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Speaker 1: of whatever statement he made.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, that's pretty smart.

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Speaker 1: It's so hard, right, because like, how can you tell

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Speaker 1: the difference between somebody like virtue signaling or trying to

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Speaker 1: like not get in trouble and somebody who is genuinely

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Speaker 1: repentant and like realizes the error of their ways when

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Speaker 1: they didn't before. I think that, like this might be

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Speaker 1: a controversial thing to say, but like hacking hers, but

288
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Speaker 1: like I know that for me, I was so entrenched

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Speaker 1: in this culture of male domination and of sexual harassment

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Speaker 1: being extremely normalized, and of consent not being a think

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Speaker 1: that anybody talked about. Also, I thought it was normal

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Speaker 1: and okay. And there was a period in my life

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Speaker 1: where I was a cool girl in quotes, thinking that

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Speaker 1: other girls were just like being dramatic or whatever. If

295
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Speaker 1: I thought that, like I know that other people felt

296
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Speaker 1: that way, you know, and me being like miss fucking feminist,

297
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Speaker 1: woke bitch, you know, Like, hmm, I just I feel

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Speaker 1: like there could stand to be some acknowledgment for the

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Speaker 1: fact that the culture is completely different now and the

300
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Speaker 1: level of awareness is completely different now. I believe some problematic,

301
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Speaker 1: internalized misogynistic things myself, and you know, I just think

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Speaker 1: it's important to acknowledge that, like we all kind of

303
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Speaker 1: were living in the same culture. However, there are obviously

304
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Speaker 1: some things that are obviously crossing the line.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, did you have any bosses, like just spell it

306
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Speaker 2: out out on the dotted line, you know.

307
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Speaker 1: Not in the same way. But okay, guys, you're ready

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Speaker 1: for a story. You're ready for a potentially triggering story.

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Speaker 3: Uh oh okay.

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Speaker 1: So for those of you who don't know, I come

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Speaker 1: from music originally. I am, you know, a filmmaker actor,

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Speaker 1: but I'm also a musician. And I moved to LA

313
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Speaker 1: when I was seventeen years old. Was fucking hustling for

314
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Speaker 1: ten years trying to make music happen. And then I

315
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Speaker 1: wrote a song for Britney Spears and then I was

316
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Speaker 1: like in the pop music world and like doing sessions

317
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Speaker 1: with everyone, and you know, like trying to fucking make

318
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Speaker 1: it happen so lots of meetings all the time. I

319
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Speaker 1: would say ninety percent with men. All the producers, I

320
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Speaker 1: would say ninety eight percent men. I think I worked

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Speaker 1: with one, maybe two female producer that entire time. And

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Speaker 1: one day I got I can't remember how it happened,

323
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Speaker 1: but whatever, an A and R like an executive basically

324
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Speaker 1: non executive, but like a pretty high up an R

325
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Speaker 1: at a major record label reached out to me and

326
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Speaker 1: was like, Hey, I'd love to talk to you about

327
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Speaker 1: your songwriting, because at this point I'd written for Brittany

328
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Speaker 1: and whatever. It was still kind of fresh at the time,

329
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Speaker 1: and I was like great, So we set up a meeting.

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Speaker 1: I go in there and I meet with him, and

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Speaker 1: here's where it gets complicated. I was attracted to him.

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Speaker 1: Oh and there was an obvious like flirtation. There was

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Speaker 1: an well, there was an obvious like magnetism between us.

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Speaker 1: I left whatever. I was like, ooh, okay, I'm attracted

335
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Speaker 1: to that person. That's weird. But I didn't think much

336
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Speaker 1: of it. And then he emailed me again and was like, Hey,

337
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 1: could you actually come back. I want to talk to

338
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Speaker 1: you about your artist project and not just your songwriting.

339
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,920
Speaker 1: And then we can like go like get a drink

340
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Speaker 1: or whatever and discuss it. Now for context, at this point,

341
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Speaker 1: I go out to bars with music industry people all

342
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Speaker 1: the time because that is like one of the ways

343
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Speaker 1: that we have meetings, right, Like, it's not always in

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Speaker 1: the office. It's very very common. At least it was

345
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Speaker 1: at the time. I haven't been in it as much lately,

346
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,040
Speaker 1: but like my manager and I would like go out

347
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Speaker 1: and meet, you know, people from this label or you know,

348
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,080
Speaker 1: go to a show with these people. So this is

349
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 1: like not at all unusual. It's down the block from

350
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Speaker 1: the studio that his office is in, so I was like, okay, cool,

351
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,920
Speaker 1: we'll meet there and then we'll go like discuss. I

352
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 1: get in there and I'm not gonna go into too

353
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Speaker 1: much detail because I feel like it could actually meet

354
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,120
Speaker 1: to you know, give too much detail. But basically he

355
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,720
Speaker 1: shut the door and he made a move, and this

356
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:56,840
Speaker 1: is in his office at night, and it was really

357
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 1: really confusing for me because I was like, I am

358
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Speaker 1: attracted to this person, but I don't want to do this,

359
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 1: Like I'm attracted to this person, but I would want

360
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 1: to like actually get to know each other. And also

361
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 1: should we even do that because this is someone who

362
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,719
Speaker 1: has so much more power than me, and like, shouldn't

363
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,840
Speaker 1: we just keep this professional? But I'm attracted to him

364
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,760
Speaker 1: and so like my body is responding and I don't

365
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,080
Speaker 1: really know how to react right now, right and he

366
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,800
Speaker 1: like basically what happened in a nutshell is I kept

367
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 1: being like, we should leave, we should go, we should leave,

368
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,800
Speaker 1: we should go, and he physically blocked the door and

369
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,600
Speaker 1: prevented me from leaving. Oh no, repeatedly, and the encounter

370
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 1: ended in him experiencing pleasure and me not, and it

371
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,919
Speaker 1: was so humiliating. Afterward, he like took me to the

372
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Speaker 1: bathroom and then like sent me away and like kind

373
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Speaker 1: of made sure nobody saw me, and it was like

374
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:58,080
Speaker 1: just so just disgusting and yeah, yeah, So anyway, it

375
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,480
Speaker 1: took me a long time to come to terms with

376
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Speaker 1: the fact that was assault because I was like, well,

377
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,720
Speaker 1: I was attracted to him, though I was attracted to

378
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 1: him though, like I like to remember telling my friends

379
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 1: afterward and being like, hah, this funny sexual thing happened,

380
00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 1: and they had just looked at me with like their

381
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,199
Speaker 1: their faces had gone white. They were like, that's not

382
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 1: that funny lot. That sounds like that sounds like a

383
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,919
Speaker 1: bad situation. I was like, no, it's fine, what are

384
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 1: you talking about?

385
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, just because the hamburger tastes really good doesn't

386
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 2: mean you can't still choke on it and die.

387
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,360
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?

388
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,640
Speaker 1: Oh wow, what a great analogy. Yeah yeah.

389
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

390
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 1: And then the fuck that part too, which is the

391
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 1: part that I usually leave out of the story because

392
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 1: people don't understand why this happens. And I actually got

393
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 1: into an argument with a guy I was seeing, not

394
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,680
Speaker 1: my current boyfriend, because my current boyfriend fucking rules, ah,

395
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:46,400
Speaker 1: but about this particular thing, which is that this same

396
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 1: an R texted me to hang out again, and I

397
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 1: did it right, And the reason that I did it

398
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 1: that people really really struggle with understanding, I think is

399
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 1: if I'm looking at like the reason that I did it,

400
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I didn't want to believe that that

401
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,440
Speaker 1: was the kind of person that he was, and I

402
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 1: didn't want to believe that that thing had happened to

403
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 1: me because I had already had sexual chald experiences, and

404
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 1: so in my mind, I'm like, if I hang out

405
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 1: with him again, maybe I will discover that he really

406
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 1: likes me for me and maybe I will find that, like,

407
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: you know, that thing that felt kind of weird wasn't

408
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 1: actually weird, and we're like, you know, this is actually

409
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 1: really fun. And he had was texting me like every

410
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 1: single night. So I hung out with him again almost

411
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 1: the exact same thing happens, And then afterward he was

412
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 1: still texting me every night. I like stopped responding to him.

413
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 1: And then the people that he had set me up

414
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 1: in sessions with there were two people like producers he

415
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 1: had set me up with too write like for their

416
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: artists or whatever, ghosted me. As soon as I ghosted him,

417
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:56,919
Speaker 1: they totally disappeared. Coincidence, I don't know, maybe maybe. So

418
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 1: there are kind of a couple different things that play here.

419
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Speaker 1: So one, there's this idea that like you see someone

420
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,040
Speaker 1: again after they've harmed you, why would you do that?

421
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? But there's just there's so

422
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 1: many reasons why, like so many ways that we justified

423
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 1: to ourselves the pain that we've experienced and like don't

424
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,919
Speaker 1: want to believe it and try to push it away.

425
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 1: And I think that that is something that happens within

426
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 1: cultic groups all the time. In fact, like my mom

427
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 1: talks about this you know, with our profit. She was like, well,

428
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 1: there's no way that someone would lie about this, Like,

429
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,919
Speaker 1: no one is that bad of a person. So I

430
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:38,479
Speaker 1: can't accept that. So instead I'm way oversimplifying it. There

431
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 1: were so many factors that play there. He worked so

432
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 1: hard on her, wearing her down, so I don't want

433
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 1: to downplay that. But like, one of the many, many

434
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 1: dynamics is that you don't want to believe that people

435
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: are bad. You just don't. It's hard, and you don't

436
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,959
Speaker 1: want to believe that you're a victim. At least I

437
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: didn't want to believe that I was a victim. I'm like, no,

438
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 1: I am not the kind of person that this stuff

439
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,719
Speaker 1: happens to you anymore. It doesn't happen to me. So

440
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 1: therefore this was fun. I had fun. That was fun, right.

441
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 1: You know, have you been keeping.

442
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 3: Up at all with that picture?

443
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 2: Who's just gotten sued by the woman for having rep

444
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:10,920
Speaker 2: sex with her?

445
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,920
Speaker 3: No, there's this picture here in Los Angeles.

446
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 2: He recently had sex with a woman and it was

447
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 2: very rough, and she texted him like, I loved it.

448
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 3: It was fucking amazing. I recently gave up drugs and alcohol.

449
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 2: Now I'm into rep sex okay, And so then they

450
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 2: meet up again and he.

451
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:32,959
Speaker 3: Apparently like she's unconscious.

452
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 2: He punched him the vagina, like gave her a black guy,

453
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 2: and again I think she texted things like it was great,

454
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:46,360
Speaker 2: and then she sued him.

455
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 3: And so she's just like, yeah, I said I love

456
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 3: drop sex.

457
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I said, I love that, but I didn't want

458
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 2: to get punched in the vagina and I like pass out.

459
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,400
Speaker 3: But then it gets confusing.

460
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 1: Well that, yeah, I mean, that's one of the points

461
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: that the guy I was arguing with brought up because

462
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: he's like, that particular guy is sexually dominant, and he

463
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 1: was like, well, what if I'm having a consensual experience

464
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 1: with the girl and then she like reinterprets that memory

465
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 1: later on as assault when at the time it was

466
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: actually really consensual.

467
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 3: Okay.

468
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 1: If you are actually engaging in the correct kind of

469
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 1: rough sex or the consensual kind of BDSM or whatever

470
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: it is, you are having discussions about what you are

471
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: doing in advance, you are checking in with each other,

472
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: you are like making sure that it's consensual, that is

473
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: the appropriate way to do BDSM. And we've gotten some

474
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 1: dms from people being like, please don't misrepresent the MEDM community,

475
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 1: Like because I've referenced this DOM guy before, They're like,

476
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: he's not representative of what the community is actually about.

477
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 1: And thank you for those messages. I think that that,

478
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 1: you know, that's a really important point, Like if somebody

479
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 1: is going to be rough with you, they need to

480
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 1: be talking to you about it, and if they're not,

481
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 1: they might just be shitty. Like it might it might

482
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: not be the BDSM relationship that you think it is.

483
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: This is veering a little bit away from the Hollywood stuff,

484
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 1: but I also think it's important. I was in a

485
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 1: class last year. I took a psychic class group dynamics class,

486
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 1: and every week we'd have to write what was going

487
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: on in our lives. And there was one girl who

488
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: wrote about how she has like a really kinky BDSUM

489
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: relationship with her boyfriend but he changed her to the

490
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 1: bed all night and she couldn't escape and it was

491
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 1: really traumatizing. But it's just BDSAM And I was like,

492
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,919
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's what you think it is, right,

493
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,199
Speaker 1: and I actually whatever. She emailed me later for advice

494
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: and I didn't my absolute best I could. I don't

495
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 1: know exactly what the right thing to say in that

496
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 1: situation is but yeah, so that's one facet of it,

497
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: and then the other facet of it is this thing

498
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 1: that we've finally begun to have a cultural conversation about,

499
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: which is like, if you are the person with power

500
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: in the room and the other person needs something from

501
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,679
Speaker 1: you or wants something from you, there is an obvious

502
00:23:58,119 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 1: power imbalance.

503
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 3: It's so frustrating. Yeah.

504
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: I just remember, like mid twenties, a lot of my

505
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 2: guy friends were actors, and a lot of them were

506
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 2: on television shows, and a lot of them would have

507
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 2: sex with girls who are over eighteen but fans of

508
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: their shows because they were kind of those kind of shows.

509
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 2: And I was just like, these are fans of yours.

510
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 2: You're not going to date them, You're going to hurt

511
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 2: their feelings.

512
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why yeah?

513
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 3: Literally? Why?

514
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh. That one's so tough because it's like, can

515
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 1: you just not can you cook up with anyone who's

516
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 1: because on the one hand, you should not sleep with

517
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: people who were just like obviously your fans. But on

518
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 1: the other hand, are you never allowed to hook up

519
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 1: with something he's a fan of something you've done? Like

520
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 1: that doesn't make sense?

521
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 3: I know, I know it doesn't make sense. It doesn't

522
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:45,239
Speaker 3: make it.

523
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:48,400
Speaker 1: It just like being mindful of the power that you

524
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 1: potentially have. And in that case, it's like, at least

525
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 1: they're just an actor, Like they're not someone any meeting

526
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: who is the power to hire them. Actors don't have

527
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 1: any fucking power to hire people, you know, I mean

528
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: them maybe, But yeah, there's a one more example i'm

529
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: gonna give. I'm sorry, this is probably very stressful, a

530
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 1: very stressful episode, but there's one more example I want

531
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: to give, which I just I think about it sometimes,

532
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 1: I'm like, that was so weird. There was a guy

533
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: who worked in nightlife events and music. He was like

534
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,959
Speaker 1: getting into management, and he was in with this group.

535
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: I won't name any names, but he was in with

536
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: this like a very cool photographer who was very hip

537
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: at the time and going to all the cool events,

538
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 1: you know whatever, just like the cool kids, the cool

539
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: kids in the scene. You know, I really wanted to

540
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 1: be in with these people. They had a lot of power.

541
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 1: They were like kind of starmakers at the time. And

542
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 1: so he came over to have a meeting with me,

543
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: and oh god, I wish I could say his name

544
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: because his name is so ironic if you even knew

545
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: what his name was.

546
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 3: Is it like Gentle Whisper or something close enough.

547
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 2: That's my FAVORITEMR girl shout out gentle Whisper.

548
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: Okay, go on. He sat me down and he was like,

549
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: if we're gonna work together, I'm gonna need you to

550
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: trust me.

551
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 3: Like you say.

552
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, yeah, totally trust. You have to

553
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 1: trust the people you work with. He was like, okay,

554
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 1: I would like to do a trust exercise. I want

555
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 1: you to go into your room and change your shirt.

556
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, this is kind of weird,

557
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 1: but okay. So I went into the room and I

558
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 1: changed my shirt. He wasn't watching or anything. I came

559
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 1: back out. He sat me down. He was like, good, no,

560
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: I want you to do it again. And I was like,

561
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 1: I don't feel comfortable doing that, Like this is feeling

562
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 1: weird to me. Mind you, at this point, I've already

563
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: believed in a fucking Colt leader.

564
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, You're like, I'm what's going on?

565
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: Yeah?

566
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: And he was like okay, well, if you don't do it,

567
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: that proves to me that you're not taking this seriously

568
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: and I can't work with someone who's like not willing

569
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: to fully jump in and trust me and take this seriously.

570
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: And it was so hard for me to say this

571
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 1: because I wanted to be in with these people so badly,

572
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 1: but it raised enough red flags that I was like, Okay,

573
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,439
Speaker 1: I guess we can't work together. I found out that

574
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: this guy was like taking new photos of teenagers in

575
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 1: the studio. He was doing some very questionable things in

576
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: Thailand that he confessed to my friend. He was like

577
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: very very obviously praying on young girls, and like, I

578
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 1: don't even understand. First of all, if you're a smart

579
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: cole eater, you wait a little bit to get to

580
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: the fucking go change in the other room first exercises,

581
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I think the only reason I was able

582
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 1: to identify it so quickly because it was so abrupt

583
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: and out of nowhere. But whatever, I've never experienced anything

584
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,360
Speaker 1: else like that, but that experience A facet of it

585
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 1: that I noticed would come up in meetings with generally men, Okay,

586
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 1: let's be honest, always men, but I'm sure that there

587
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: are also women who do this. Is this idea that like, oh,

588
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 1: you're so close, you're so close to the fame that

589
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,719
Speaker 1: you want you're so close to being at the level

590
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: of art that you want or like cool enough for

591
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: your brand, being strong enough or whatever. You're so close,

592
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: but you're not there, and I have and I'm the

593
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: way that you're going to get there. Yeah, that was

594
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: fully I mean, I'm like condensing our conversation, but that

595
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: was a huge element of that conversation, this idea that

596
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: like I had something, but it needed to be shaped,

597
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: it wasn't there by itself, like I needed him right.

598
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: And another guy I met with literally like two weeks later,

599
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: I think, said a very similar thing to me, and

600
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. I can't.

601
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: I think that is the biggest myth in the industry

602
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: that we work in, Like, look, there are people who

603
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: have a vision and have the ability to shape talent, absolutely,

604
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: but even those people sometimes they're fucking wrong and they

605
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: fail and they get it wrong. Like so many people

606
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: with wildly successful TV shows also had TV shows that

607
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: fucking flopped and failed and movies that sucked. Like yeah,

608
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: and in music, same exact thing. There's just no perfect

609
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: dress it exactly for every Lady Gaga, there's a Nashley

610
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 1: Simpson or maybe that's a bad example because she'd at

611
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: least had some hits. But you know, you can't say

612
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: like this idea that one person is going to have

613
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: all of the answers and like give you the fame

614
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: that you want. Again, sometimes an individual person can change

615
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: your life, but it is never worth it if they

616
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 1: are like changing yourself at the same time, you know, yeah,

617
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: and that like I don't want to say that that's

618
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 1: the only reason why I took a pick from the

619
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 1: music industry for a while. It was also just like exhausting,

620
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: the constant hustle and the feeling like I had to

621
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 1: be on all the time and like look like a

622
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 1: fucking pop star, and then my numbers didn't do that well,

623
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 1: and then you have to like promote yourself all the time,

624
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: and I was like, why am I doing this? I'm

625
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: like almost thirty, like what. So it's not like that

626
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: was the only thing, But I will say that like

627
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: every meeting feeling like me doing like a song and

628
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: dance to try to impress some man and convince him

629
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: that I'm a star and him either being like cool,

630
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: keep me posted, or being like I have the answers

631
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 1: for you. All you have to do is go in

632
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: the other room and change again and again until you

633
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: then stuck my dick like that was a part of

634
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: my exhaustion with the music industry. Yeah, and I think,

635
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: you know, there's a fair amount of like discussion about

636
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: it in film. We all know that Weinstein existed, we

637
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 1: all you know. But yeah, I don't know if there's

638
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,719
Speaker 1: been the same level of reckoning in the music industry.

639
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: I don't know.

640
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 3: I oh, absolutely not.

641
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: Do you think Why do you say that?

642
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 2: Because that Kasha case was the saddest, most frustrating shit,

643
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 2: Like Doctor Luke shit, it's.

644
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 3: Just not happening the way it is with the Yeah.

645
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: Speaking of doctor Luke, So that Britney song that I wrote,

646
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: he was the main producer on it. Yeah, this is

647
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: an unrelated qualm. I wrote that song originally with two

648
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 1: other people. By the time he got his hands on it,

649
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 1: I was one of seven writers and I only had

650
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: ten percent of the share, And all of his writers,

651
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: whom were not in the room originally had a higher

652
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 1: percentage than I did because he takes a percentage of

653
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: their money. So that's fine.

654
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 3: Oh wow, what a monster.

655
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think the music industry has quite cleared

656
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 2: out the trash quite like the film has yet.

657
00:31:55,880 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you have La Reid getting outed, and

658
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: you know, you have people like Phoebe Bridger speaking out

659
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 1: about Ryan Adams, and it's definitely happening. But I don't

660
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: find that there's the same level of like sensitivity. And yeah,

661
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. But again, I'm not as entrenched into

662
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: the music industry as I used to be. Now I

663
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 1: do it more because I love it with people that

664
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: I like. Yeah, so you know, for all I know,

665
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 1: there could be lots of very serious There probably are

666
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: lots of very serious HR conversations happening. But anyway, I

667
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 1: feel like entertainment attracts I mean, it does attract narcissists.

668
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: It attracts people who want to be powerful, and it's

669
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: hard to know when the person you're talking to is

670
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: somebody who wants to be powerful in like a healthy

671
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: way or like a not so healthy way, right, And.

672
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: I think the difference there is just like welding control

673
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 2: over someone.

674
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm hmm, yeah, which can be hard to tell

675
00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: when you're under someone and.

676
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 2: Shure or I think it can be hard to even

677
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 2: tell your own motivation sometimes.

678
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's something to well. Wells brought

679
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 1: up that like we forget that we also have power,

680
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: Like I don't think of myself as someone with power

681
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: at all, right, but someone might, Right, someone could, and

682
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: like it would be totally I could totally see a

683
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: world in which I wasn't being mindful enough about that.

684
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: I don't see a world in which I would block

685
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: the door and make somebody hook up with me. No,

686
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: probably not. But uh, you know, I don't know. Hollywood

687
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: is its own cult. We like we just this idea

688
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: that this power, this status, this fame, success is going

689
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: to fix us. It's a similar process to this idea

690
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 1: that like, oh well, this spiritual group or this guru

691
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: or this person, like that's going to fix me. Fame

692
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: isn't going to fix anyone. Ya hate to break it

693
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 1: to you.

694
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 3: Oprah sasn't just makes your good things better and your

695
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 3: bad things worse. It's what Oprah says, Well, that's a thing,

696
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 3: it must be true. Well, yeah, exactly, and it's not. It.

697
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 2: She's like, it's not a good trade because your flaws

698
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 2: are like way bigger.

699
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 1: You mean, within your personality. Yeah, oh oh oh, I

700
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,879
Speaker 1: thought you mention just like in your life experience. Yeah,

701
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: oh I believe that for sure, for sure.

702
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

703
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: I mean it either makes you crazy or it makes

704
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: you buckle down and try really hard to stay grounded.

705
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, yeah, did you want to speak on

706
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: anyone else in particular? Like I'm thinking of someone in

707
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 2: particular in my own.

708
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 1: Mind, but yeah, oh yeah. So there is a man, surprise, surprise.

709
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 1: There is a man who I used to be friends

710
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 1: with who was outed. I was gonna say canceled, but

711
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 1: I feel like canceled has a negative connotation. He was

712
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: rightfully outed who fooled a lot of us for a

713
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 1: long time. He was in I mean, I was sort

714
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 1: of in his friend group. He had his own orbit

715
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 1: that he was the center of, and I just like

716
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: was sort of in it. Sometimes I wasn't like in

717
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: the inner circle, but I was definitely a part of

718
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,479
Speaker 1: this group. This person is the son of a well

719
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 1: known director. He is very well off, very successful, very powerful.

720
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 1: He's made a bunch of movies with very famous people

721
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 1: in them. He was this like party guy who would

722
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: wear these sort of flamboyant outfits and like be really

723
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 1: loud and obnoxious at parties. But he would throw these

724
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 1: parties that were really fun. Yeah, he would throw these

725
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: like balls, you know, where wrestlers were there and Macaulay

726
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 1: Culkin was there, and I don't.

727
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 3: Know, Jane say not one more single word.

728
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: And everyone's dressed up, you know. And then he'd do

729
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: these weekends and everyone take mushrooms or whatever, like just

730
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 1: like great parties. And everyone that he hung out with

731
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 1: was awesome. All of the people that I met through him,

732
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 1: I think I'm still friends with all of them because

733
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: they were all great. Like he was a great people pictures.

734
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: A curator of yes, perfect people to have around him.

735
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 2: Also to make him look innocent.

736
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: Yes, he was an excellent people picker. Everyone around him

737
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: was like solid, like good person, smart, funny, empathetic. But

738
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 1: these incidents would happen where he would be abusive to

739
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: the women in his life. And I don't know the

740
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 1: ins and outs of some of the stories, but a

741
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 1: lot of the women came forward. He's now finally like

742
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: been outed appropriately because there was a while in which

743
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 1: people kind of knew, but he was still working ring

744
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: and it wasn't like there was kind of some stuff

745
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: about it, but didn't really fully do anything. Do you

746
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 1: remember some of the story, I mean, he like he's

747
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: actually assaulted people. He's actual assaulted a number of people.

748
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: He also like hit a couple of girls, I want

749
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: to say. And the interesting thing about him is that

750
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 1: if you would talk to him about it, from what

751
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: I understand, and also one time after he was canceled,

752
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: he cornered me in a coffee shop, was very weird.

753
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: He would tell you he was sorry, he felt bad,

754
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 1: he was getting better, he was working on himself. He

755
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 1: didn't want to do that anymore. It was so convincing,

756
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: and everyone believed him and they were like, he's not bad.

757
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: He just like he has this particular version of bipolar

758
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 1: that makes someone kind of you know, have these really

759
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 1: strong mood swings. And he wants to be better, and

760
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,439
Speaker 1: he cares about women. He's helping the women in his life.

761
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 1: And he would like put together these videos and then

762
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: ask us to be in them, and like he had

763
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: the power to give us what we wanted in the industry.

764
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: That honestly, that was a huge part of it. Like

765
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 1: I wasn't in his like inner inner circle, but like

766
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 1: I'm not going to pretend I didn't work on me, Like,

767
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 1: oh well, he could put me in a show, Like

768
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: I'm not going to pretend I didn't cross my mind.

769
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: Of course that crossed my mind, right. I didn't know

770
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 1: the extent of what was happening until it like kind

771
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 1: of came out a bit more, and then I stopped

772
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 1: going to his events. But like it's just there, it's there,

773
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 1: it's a part of it. He's like, you're a really

774
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: good actor, Lola, you did really good in that thing.

775
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 1: Be in this thing.

776
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 3: Like it's like a little bread crumbs.

777
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: Again, I didn't know what was going on, but like

778
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,800
Speaker 1: he was kind of a fucking dick, Like he was

779
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: a douchebag at parties, but then he'd be nice to

780
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,959
Speaker 1: you and you'd be like, oh, no, he's actually really nice.

781
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 2: Kind of like a Larry David thing where it's like

782
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 2: he hates everyone but he likes me.

783
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah, he's so manipulative. And there

784
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: were so many people who knew him who like, even

785
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: after it came out the first time, I think I

786
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: knew enough stories that I like, wasn't a part of

787
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: the second wave. I was a part of the initial exodus.

788
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: But there were people who believed that he wanted to

789
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,759
Speaker 1: be better, right, believed him. He said over and over

790
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 1: again that he wanted to be better, and then he

791
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: would keep doing the same exact shit. He didn't fuck learn.

792
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,320
Speaker 1: He's just a sociopath, right right, He's to be clear,

793
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: I'll malignant sociopath. I don't want to hate on all sociopaths.

794
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, and then finally, I think all of those

795
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: people kind of realized, like, oh, this guy is just

796
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: like fully tricking us. He's fully fully tricking us. And

797
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 1: most of them also he's any friends. I don't know,

798
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: I don't know he started I know he started an

799
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: Instagram page last year. All of us were like, oh, oh,

800
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 1: I think he was doing some like program or like

801
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 1: boot camp for people. I don't I don't know, I

802
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,839
Speaker 1: don't know. He is paying strong attention. But oh man,

803
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 1: it's truly amazing, how like, no matter how much you

804
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: know that fame doesn't matter, that success isn't ultimately like

805
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: going to fulfill you, No matter how much you know

806
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: that that is not the thing that matters in a

807
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: friendship and the person that you spend time with, Like,

808
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 1: if you want to be successful, there's always going to

809
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:35,879
Speaker 1: be a little bit of poll.

810
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, have you found that totally? Yeah, of course, for sure.

811
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not friends with that person anymore, y'all.

812
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 2: Good.

813
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it made.

814
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 2: Me think of a guy I know. Can I tell

815
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 2: you about him really quickly because I'm in like, it's

816
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 2: a very odd situation with this person. He's a director obviously,

817
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 2: and I worked with him on something once and I

818
00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 2: got home and he like messaged me on Facebook and

819
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,760
Speaker 2: was great job today, and I was like great, thanks,

820
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 2: and then he was like, I love looking at this website.

821
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 3: And he sent me a website very graphic. Guys.

822
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,959
Speaker 2: If you have children, what's the word NFL? Not safe

823
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 2: for work now, okayl.

824
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 1: NFL if you have children, NFL, have you got kids? NBA?

825
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 3: Okay.

826
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 2: So he sends me this link and it's like a

827
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 2: picture of girls faces and then like a picture of

828
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 2: their vagina, and it's like, oh, it's exciting to like

829
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 2: see oh this girl's face in.

830
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: This Wait whose website or like it was just some

831
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 1: like horn website? Yeah okay, yeah yeah.

832
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 3: And he was like I just love like stuff like this,

833
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 3: just like.

834
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: A direstor randomly sent this to you and I this

835
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: was like mid twenties, and I was like okay and

836
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 1: signed off and like made it very apparent no, but

837
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: I should have, you know, done a million more things

838
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 1: like I don't know. I feel like we should really

839
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: mind all the times that we tell ourselves that we

840
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 1: should have done X or y yes, because like, no,

841
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 1: he should have not not message you a link to

842
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,240
Speaker 1: a porn site with people's vaginas, like yeah.

843
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 2: So it just kept going like this, just like sometimes

844
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 2: you just send me shit like this, and I.

845
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 3: Was like, I am so confused.

846
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 2: I realize he's having sex with everyone around town, like

847
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 2: just wild orgy type of guy, and I'm just like, okay, whatever.

848
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 2: So then my friend's friend leaves her husband and starts

849
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 2: dating him.

850
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 1: Oh no, and she's in it, like.

851
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 3: Neverhead in it.

852
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 2: She's only been with one guy. This dude is a

853
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 2: crazy person.

854
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 3: Fuck. So I tell my friend and I'm like, tell her, oh, is.

855
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,800
Speaker 1: This the friend who's dating a narcissist who you want

856
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: to not date the narcissist that you've mentioned. No, Oh, okay,

857
00:41:58,400 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 1: different one, Okay, got it.

858
00:41:59,640 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 3: Yeah.

859
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: So I'm like, you know, this is what happened with

860
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 2: me with that guy, So if you want to tell

861
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 2: her that it's happened with a lot of girls, and

862
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 2: the fact that he's not canceled is shocking to me.

863
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 2: So my friend tells that to this girl. She tells

864
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 2: him that I told her no.

865
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:17,919
Speaker 1: Okay, so now, oh no, like.

866
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 2: Now I'm uncomfortable, yeah, which is so unfair.

867
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, No, that's the whole thing.

868
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 2: It's just you know, you don't have to live in

869
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:29,839
Speaker 2: Hollywood to experience these dynamics every fucking day of your life,

870
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,840
Speaker 2: your boss or whatever, anybody who.

871
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: Of course, it's just anyone who has ambition, yeah, of

872
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: any First of all, anyone is obviously susceptible to power

873
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: balances and abuse whatever.

874
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 3: Of course, because love your solar plexus chakra.

875
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: No, yeah, but no, but when you are ambitious, at

876
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,879
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you need people to help

877
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: you cross the finish line. And that is such it's

878
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 1: just so ripe for abuse that that particular dynamic. It's

879
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: fucking sucks, man.

880
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:03,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

881
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 1: And also it sucks that we feel like in order

882
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 1: to be valuable or be happy, what we need is

883
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,720
Speaker 1: some like thing over there that we have to achieve

884
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: because then everyone will love us. And then you hear

885
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: all of these stories, I mean, this is the separate topic,

886
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: but you hear all these stories about I feel like

887
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 1: I said, it's before people winning an oscar and the

888
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 1: next day being the worst day of their lives because

889
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, that was all I was waiting for,

890
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 1: and now I still have to live and now I'm

891
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 1: realizing this just darkness. There's just darkness.

892
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean I have a psychological theory on that,

893
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 2: which is that sometimes people have, you know, blocks for

894
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:49,359
Speaker 2: career or money or relationships or whatever. And I do

895
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 2: think that like success does make some people happier than

896
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 2: other people.

897
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 1: I think that like creating something that you're proud of,

898
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: like being preductive yet like absolutely can make you happier.

899
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 1: And I think you can get like a temporary like

900
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: high or excitement right from something like being successful, but

901
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 1: I think you've become addicted to it, and addiction is

902
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 1: not the same thing as fulfillment, right.

903
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 2: I tend to think that like the thing that comes

904
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,240
Speaker 2: the easiest to you isn't going to make you very happy.

905
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 2: So you know, Chris Farley, you're just a fucking comedy genius.

906
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 2: You get thrown on SNL and you're making people pay

907
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 2: them their pants laughing. It comes so easily to you,

908
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 2: Like it's not going to mean much.

909
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: But even when it doesn't come easily to you.

910
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just saying there is a different thing

911
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 2: between Like like let's say he couldn't get in a

912
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 2: loving relationship very easily, so he does a bunch of

913
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 2: work on himself and then he is in a relationship,

914
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 2: and then that is giving you something new, Like I'm

915
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 2: just saying sometimes like for me, I've.

916
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,720
Speaker 3: Been so cut off from career.

917
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 2: Like my family it wasn't even thought about because I

918
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,919
Speaker 2: grew up in that Christian It was like my mom

919
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 2: and my grandma's didn't yeah, like a career or anything

920
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 2: like that. Yeah, there is certain aspects of me breaking

921
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 2: through that barrier with myself that does bring me way

922
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 2: more happiness than relationships can very easily to me, Like

923
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 2: I just.

924
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 1: Can do that, do you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah,

925
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: But what I'm hearing, and maybe I'm wrong, correct me, sure,

926
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,760
Speaker 1: is that like you have the freedom to create things

927
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 1: now and to like express and get your art out

928
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:30,280
Speaker 1: into the world in a way that is like reflective

929
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: of who you really are instead of like a value

930
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 1: system that isn't yours, right, and like it's an active

931
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 1: creation and art And.

932
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 2: Okay, here's what I'm saying like, yeah, I have a

933
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,239
Speaker 2: friend who could never be in a relationship, right she

934
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 2: just like you know those people who are just like

935
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 2: I don't get it, I don't understand it. And it's

936
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: like it's fine, relationships don't make you happy, like they're not.

937
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 2: You don't just get a relationship and then you're happy. Right, True,

938
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: But she did so much work on herself. Now she

939
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: is in a relationship, and you bet your ass that

940
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:01,359
Speaker 2: relationship is making her Twenty times weren't happy than other

941
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 2: people's relationships.

942
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 1: But is that relationship making her happy because it's a

943
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: relationship or because she did work on herself because she

944
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,400
Speaker 1: didn't work on herself exactly, right, Like, I think that

945
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 1: we can find our happiness in the pursuit of things,

946
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: but ultimately it's not the achievement of the thing that

947
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: brings us to the happiness is the work that we

948
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: do along the way.

949
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:22,319
Speaker 3: I'm herpessial.

950
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: God damn it, it's okay, but yes, because there is

951
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: no destination where we hit that plateau and we're like, ah,

952
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: finally here lies my happiness.

953
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 2: Well, and the exciting part is it just goes on

954
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 2: for eternity, So have fun with that.

955
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 1: Listen, it's a process. This is this non going experience anyway, y'all.

956
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 1: Don't abuse your power, is what we're saying. It's okay

957
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: to want success, it's okay to want to get out there,

958
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: but like a it won't make you happy. Be if

959
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 1: anyone makes you feel like you need it to be

960
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:03,319
Speaker 1: happy or you need them to be happy and successful,

961
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 1: fucking run man, that's not the way.

962
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, you know, yeah, I agree.

963
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: So we are talking about the cult of success. Yeah yeah,

964
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 1: the cult of Hollywood, the cult of success, the cult

965
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: of believing in happiness. Just beyond the bridge.

966
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll close with one thing. I remember spending the

967
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 2: night at my friend's house once and the next day

968
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 2: so many flowers.

969
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 3: Wow, that was so excited. I scared you so bad?

970
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 1: Did my eyes go?

971
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 3: Were like, okay, so many flowers showed up for this bridge.

972
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 3: I was like, what the fuck? I mean just flowers,

973
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:43,320
Speaker 3: like trees of flowers.

974
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 2: And she was like, oh yeah, like Harvey Weinstein ass

975
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 2: out of himself hitting on me the other night.

976
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

977
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 2: And I told him that I know his wife, so

978
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 2: he's just been sending me like.

979
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:57,280
Speaker 3: Flowers.

980
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 1: Oh I know.

981
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 3: Oh my God, that's crazy.

982
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was also, I mean different because it's not

983
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 1: like text messages are a gift. But I feel like

984
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 1: when I try to reject the A N R guy

985
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 1: M constant text messages, constant attention, right, they can't handle

986
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:20,919
Speaker 1: it when you don't want that, when they know they're

987
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 1: in a position of power over you and you choose

988
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 1: not to, you know.

989
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, they can't take it.

990
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: That's a red flag, y'all. If you say no, somebody

991
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 1: should respect that. And if they don't, again run And you.

992
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:35,280
Speaker 2: Know, speaking of red flags, that brings us to something

993
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 2: very important. Yes, yes, it's our conclusion. Oh my goodness,

994
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 2: because we say watch out for red flags in it.

995
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: Yes, no, I got it.

996
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 3: Okay, great, I forget our conclusion every time.

997
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: She forgets it every time. Phrase.

998
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 2: I just had to think in my head, we do

999
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 2: say something about red flags, right, No, no, no, we do.

1000
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,800
Speaker 3: I say it every week for yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay,

1001
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 3: So you guys, we've had such a great time with

1002
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 3: the other week. We can't wait to see you next week.

1003
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,400
Speaker 1: And I hope that wasn't too heavy, my friends.

1004
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 3: Oh it wasn't too heavy. It just mix it with

1005
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 3: a light salad.

1006
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 1: And I got my bosomic.

1007
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 3: Read here, you know, just like listen to a comedy

1008
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 3: podcast right after it.

1009
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 2: I guess you're saying, like, yeah, yeah, okay, Well you

1010
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 2: guys remember to.

1011
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,959
Speaker 3: Follow your gut, watch out for red flag, and never

1012
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 3: ever trust me. Bye bye