Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, friend,
Speaker 1: or a terrible throatfull.
Speaker 2: Guess what you've got decisions, all right.
Speaker 3: So this conversation this week is it just makes sense,
Speaker 3: especially with the holiday season coming up.
Speaker 2: And one of our holiday members holiday.
Speaker 3: It could be a holiday or a holiday. I'm going
Speaker 3: holiday because I ain't hoing right now. So I'm just
Speaker 3: saying for a holiday season. Whether you are in a
Speaker 3: relationship a situationship where it's complicated, there are sacrifices and
Speaker 3: compromises that have to happen when you're dealing with somebody.
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna get straight into the letter and then
Speaker 3: we're gonna break this down and give some advice. So
Speaker 3: good morning, beautiful ladies. Apologies in advance for this being
Speaker 3: so lengthy. I just need some fights, oh girl. And
Speaker 3: it's not even that long. It's not that long. Calm down.
Speaker 3: I'm betting thees, I'm betting Theese. I I just need
Speaker 3: some advice on my current situation. I'm currently in a
Speaker 3: long distance relationship. Sometimes we have fights and disagreements, but
Speaker 3: outside of all of that, things are perfect except for
Speaker 3: the distance. Of course, we had a semi heated argument
Speaker 3: recently about him not wanting to celebrate holidays and that
Speaker 3: he agreed to celebrate some with me, but only because
Speaker 3: he feels like I forced him to agree to it out.
Speaker 2: The combo got.
Speaker 3: Heated because I'm emotional, and although there are many times
Speaker 3: I don't even celebrate anything, I still like to do
Speaker 3: holiday ish activities like pumpkin patches, seeing Christmas lights, Halloween parties, etc.
Speaker 3: And in our combo, he said he would not do
Speaker 3: that with me because he just doesn't celebrate holidays. He
Speaker 3: chose to end the combo. We set our I love
Speaker 3: yous and ended the night. The following day, I reached
Speaker 3: out first. I almost always reach out first. I asked
Speaker 3: him we can talk about the combo, and he said
Speaker 3: there's nothing to talk about. I told him I didn't
Speaker 3: like how the convo went, nor do I like that
Speaker 3: he feels forced. I didn't realize how he felt before
Speaker 3: he told me that, and that if he chooses not
Speaker 3: to celebrate with me, that's okay. Sacrifices and compromises right.
Speaker 3: His responses were dry and indifferent. I then told him,
Speaker 3: if that's how he was going to be he can
Speaker 3: just text me when he wants to talk, and he
Speaker 3: left me on red, which we never do. I'm going
Speaker 3: to give him space and let him reach out when
Speaker 3: he's ready. With that said, here are her questions. How
Speaker 3: long would be enough time to wait before I reach
Speaker 3: out if he doesn't?
Speaker 2: In question two? Am I making this holiday thing a
Speaker 2: big deal?
Speaker 3: Part of our heated convo included him telling me I
Speaker 3: can celebrate.
Speaker 2: With friends or even along, or even along.
Speaker 3: Then to celebrate with him, and it hurts me because
Speaker 3: he talks about marriage and babies and moving in together,
Speaker 3: and like now I'm hurting over this holiday thing.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure what to do. Thank you both, and
Speaker 2: looking forward to some insight.
Speaker 3: So before we continue the conversation, let's answer her questions.
Speaker 3: So question one, how long would be enough time to
Speaker 3: wait before she reaches out if he doesn't?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 4: Her?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: This, that's what she said, she said, Well, she also
Speaker 3: said her current situation. No, she does. She says she's
Speaker 3: in a long distance relationship. Yes, that's her man. How
Speaker 3: long is too long for time? I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 3: I don't like I don't like this, I don't like
Speaker 3: you just going silent like this to me, feels like
Speaker 3: she's about to give him the silent treatment, so he
Speaker 3: wants to have the conversation that she wants to have.
Speaker 3: I don't think you should just wait for him to
Speaker 3: hit you, because you also want him to talk about
Speaker 3: this specific topic.
Speaker 4: What what did they did he say why he doesn't
Speaker 4: celebrate the holiday?
Speaker 2: No, he just says he doesn't celebrate holidays.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be judging, but I have to
Speaker 1: say something. Okay, b Cha, you always hit him first? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is what she said.
Speaker 2: That's it right there, girl, you always hit him first.
Speaker 2: You think that's an issue? Yeah, buddy, ever fucked the
Speaker 2: guy that liked you? I mean, she.
Speaker 3: Says that they're in a long distance relationship, so I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe that was also.
Speaker 3: Not the truth. Maybe she doesn't always hit him first. Well,
Speaker 3: then let's go back to the question.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not a relationship like that. I talked about
Speaker 1: moving nigga niggas on a second day. They'd be like okay,
Speaker 1: and we were like people sometimes like a cake on
Speaker 1: the phone.
Speaker 2: Okay. Also, I wouldn't want to go to Pumpkin Patch either.
Speaker 1: Just gonna say that, that's what you don't I wouldn't
Speaker 1: want to go see Christmas lights either. I don't like
Speaker 1: that stuff. My homegirls were trying to give me go
Speaker 1: apple picking.
Speaker 3: Now, what about the celebration of holidays in terms of
Speaker 3: the gift giving?
Speaker 1: So I'm on what you're on. If I'm like really
Speaker 1: into you, but I can't understand a man not wanting
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 2: Shit like that, I can. Okay, So something do you think?
Speaker 3: Then that's the second question, like is she making this
Speaker 3: holiday thing a big deal?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Really, No, I disagree. I think she is. I disagree.
Speaker 3: I think first off, I think that these are one
Speaker 3: of like kind of like political views, religious views. If
Speaker 3: this is something you really like celebrating. Like, let's be clear,
Speaker 3: I was just with a fucking Muslim that didn't celebrate
Speaker 3: certain holidays.
Speaker 2: I have homegirls that don't do Halloween. I get it,
Speaker 2: which is fine. That's why I'm confused. Homegirl and a
Speaker 2: partner is two different.
Speaker 1: But if my partner really didn't celebrate Halloween for a
Speaker 1: certain reason.
Speaker 3: No, so let me finish well, I don't even think
Speaker 3: it's the wild like religious religiously my ex did not
Speaker 3: celebrate Halloween, but the two but the holiday I wanted
Speaker 3: to celebrate was Valentine's Day. I think that I don't
Speaker 3: want to sacrifice me wanting to feel a certain way
Speaker 3: or something that means a lot to me.
Speaker 2: That's the thing. I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker 1: And I know this probably sounds like I'm trying to
Speaker 1: cap because I'm a girl. But Valentine's Day is slightly
Speaker 1: different because it's for lovers, it's four couples. I can
Speaker 1: understand someone not wanting to fucking celebday.
Speaker 3: And I broke up with my nigga because he chose
Speaker 3: to not make me.
Speaker 2: On Valentine's Day. So then let's not hone in on
Speaker 2: just each specific.
Speaker 1: But but a pumpkin path for Halloween, let's talk about
Speaker 1: it's not a holiday where let's talk about general because
Speaker 1: that really is the point. Though I believe Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: is the outlier. Well no, she said, Well, she brought
Speaker 1: up holidays in general. So she spoke about Halloween, she
Speaker 1: spoke about Christmas, she spoke about different holidays. So let's
Speaker 1: not dissect each holiday in which one you can and
Speaker 1: cannot sacrifice overall, do you think that you can be
Speaker 1: with someone as someone who enjoys the holiday spirit and
Speaker 1: celebrating holidays, have a healthy relationship with someone who's genuinely
Speaker 1: saying that they don't want to celebrate holidays.
Speaker 2: I could if that reason was either religious or some
Speaker 2: hotep shit. That's what.
Speaker 4: I really couldn't know holidays.
Speaker 2: I fucked with a lot of.
Speaker 1: Hotep niggas that will say things like yo, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get you flowers, stare and get you whatever you give.
Speaker 1: Fore like, this is a holiday that's you know, commodifying
Speaker 1: love and it's hall Mark shiit, Like.
Speaker 2: I totally some people are really like that with Christmas.
Speaker 1: You gotta remember, I grew up Jewish, so I don't
Speaker 1: really understand like how that day was a big deal
Speaker 1: for everybody.
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving we're woke now, Indigenous Day.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't I really wouldn't give a fuck. Okay, I
Speaker 2: really do feel like I could do that shit with
Speaker 2: my friends.
Speaker 1: The only holiday I really love is Halloween, actually, and
Speaker 1: it was because it was the one holiday that my
Speaker 1: parents didn't really fight because they were like Christmas Hanukah.
Speaker 1: There was always some tension there, but if it was
Speaker 1: genuinely important to me and someone felt like it was
Speaker 1: devil worshiping wouldn't give a fuck.
Speaker 3: I really think we have to so that So that's
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Oh wait, so you would not celebrate
Speaker 3: if you said you really like, oh, I'm not gonna
Speaker 3: celebrate with you.
Speaker 2: No, but that's what I'm saying. I'm not gonna go
Speaker 2: to the clerk, but you would. So you think I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna be Halloween part Are you gonna be like this?
Speaker 3: So you would deal with someone who's completely against Halloween?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: If I bro I've met so many amazing people in
Speaker 1: my life that have some kind of flaw.
Speaker 2: I do a podcast with one.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, but I'm saying, like, there's always going
Speaker 1: to be something wrong with a partner. So like, how
Speaker 1: can we how can we say that the Halloween is
Speaker 1: gonna make you break up or the Thanksgiving or this
Speaker 1: or that?
Speaker 3: Like no, So then let me ask you this, since
Speaker 3: we're talking about it, how do you differentiate between a
Speaker 3: compromise and a sacrifice?
Speaker 4: If?
Speaker 2: To me, that's a good question.
Speaker 1: I think that a compromise is where you meet in
Speaker 1: the middle, and a sacrifice is something you give up
Speaker 1: for someone and I think they may not be interchangeable, right,
Speaker 1: Like maybe a sacrifice is something you have to do
Speaker 1: to be in this relationship. A compromise is the way
Speaker 1: you guys kind of meet each other in a place
Speaker 1: right Like for me, I know it's not relative. Just
Speaker 1: thinking about compromises I have in my ethically non monogamous relationship.
Speaker 1: I have boundaries and things I compromised on and so
Speaker 1: and things that he sacrificed for me.
Speaker 2: So it's all different.
Speaker 3: Do you have and well, if I want to ask you,
Speaker 3: is this as well? Do you have anything you're not
Speaker 3: willing to sacrifice in a relationship?
Speaker 2: Male friendships?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my friendships. I'm not willing to sacrifice at all.
Speaker 1: For that has been a thing every man I've ever
Speaker 1: dated has been like, damn, you hang out with a
Speaker 1: lot of niggas.
Speaker 2: Same, I'm not willing to see.
Speaker 1: Got to be totally honest with you, and I'm not
Speaker 1: giving up my whole friends, my homegirls, my escort friends.
Speaker 1: I'm not giving up the ones that'd be in the streets,
Speaker 1: not giving up any of them. You got to just
Speaker 1: trust me. The thing with men that can sometimes be
Speaker 1: threatening to men as well is that, especially the world
Speaker 1: I'm in, I can't eliminate men. I fucking have a
Speaker 1: business partner. That's why you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do? But I won't give
Speaker 1: up that. I also realize bisexuality is so fluctuating for
Speaker 1: me that like, I don't know if I could really
Speaker 1: give up playing together like non monogamy. I would be
Speaker 1: able to give up women alone, but I couldn't give
Speaker 1: up not ever eating but pussy again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, same for me.
Speaker 1: When I dated the hospital dick, he was not into
Speaker 1: three somes. He really didn't even like sharing porn together,
Speaker 1: Like he didn't like that.
Speaker 2: I like that shit.
Speaker 1: And remember when my homegirl said to me, like she
Speaker 1: felt like, oh, I couldn't let a man do that
Speaker 1: to me or a cheat in my face. That's what
Speaker 1: my relationship is, she said. I literally was thinking Mandy
Speaker 1: this weekend. He went to that bachelor party I told
Speaker 1: you about, and his friends were kind of boring. He's like,
Speaker 1: these niggs ain't even talking about the show club. I
Speaker 1: was like, damn, I hope you get to fuck a
Speaker 1: little country white girl who's like feticizing you and it's
Speaker 1: some crazy shit you tell me about it. That was
Speaker 1: a genuine answer. I really wanted that nigga to come
Speaker 1: back with a sex story. I know I'm sick, Okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I that to be fun. I want to hear about
Speaker 1: it what you do last night? Like, I am into
Speaker 1: that shit, and I know a lot of girls can
Speaker 1: think I'm fronting on it, but it really is something
Speaker 1: I'm into. When I dated Hospital Dick, it was a
Speaker 1: sacrifice that I thought I would enjoy and I realized
Speaker 1: wants the puppy face.
Speaker 2: A little.
Speaker 3: When it comes to sacrifices and wolf if you've ever
Speaker 3: done it as well? Is there any way to sacrifice
Speaker 3: something for a relationship and not harbor resentment because you're
Speaker 3: essentially changing something about yourself in order to maintain or
Speaker 3: stay in a relationship with someone who is making you
Speaker 3: give up something you potentially may.
Speaker 2: Really enjoy or may really like.
Speaker 3: Is there any way to give something up while dating
Speaker 3: someone and not later resent them for it or be
Speaker 3: upset or harbor any sort of emotion around that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's definitely possible. I think nobody's bigger
Speaker 4: than the program when it comes to a relationship. So
Speaker 4: if you're doing it out of pure respect for that person,
Speaker 4: the respect is bigger than the thing that you hold
Speaker 4: it onto. It's like, Okay, I can do away with
Speaker 4: this out of the the union that me and you have.
Speaker 3: What if it's a part of you, Like Weezy just mentioned,
Speaker 3: she wouldn't be open to sacrificing her sexuality for a relationship.
Speaker 3: What if you're sacrificing something that innately makes you who
Speaker 3: you are, then.
Speaker 4: You're gonna have a problem. But be like.
Speaker 1: Halloween, I don't feel like Halloween or Thanksgiving or Christmas
Speaker 1: is something that I need with my partner. Well, if
Speaker 1: you all get rid of your religious it would make
Speaker 1: me feel great to spend holidays with you.
Speaker 2: If you really hated holidays.
Speaker 1: That much, I'm not gonna give up on my nigga
Speaker 1: for fucking a few days a year.
Speaker 2: What okay?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: But Valentine's Day, I really do believe it's different. And
Speaker 1: I remember we had that episode we were all together
Speaker 1: in the room a few years ago.
Speaker 2: Remember Wolf.
Speaker 1: I really do think men know how special Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: can be to some women. And I think you have
Speaker 1: to consciously not get a fucking flower or do something thing,
Speaker 1: And you're.
Speaker 2: Trying, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: It's intentional at that point, But with these other ones
Speaker 3: being that they can be controversial, whereas Valentine's Day is
Speaker 3: an actual holiday about someone you love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little different. And I'm not.
Speaker 1: Talking about do your word bag or fucking whatever, but
Speaker 1: just the acknowledgment I love you.
Speaker 2: Send me a little poem, nigga whatever? Oh no, I
Speaker 2: don't want a poem. Don't send me no fucking poem.
Speaker 2: Oh I like that. What do you want?
Speaker 3: You're getting real? Like, whoa, do not send me no
Speaker 3: fucking poem. I think that's just gonna be all right.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about additionally, Oh okay, sure send me a
Speaker 3: fucking haikup and then something else. Yeah, no, no, but
Speaker 3: I like all that.
Speaker 1: Levey Debbie extra Shiit Roses read My assig was a
Speaker 1: waiter and made us dinner and he wrote me this
Speaker 1: really nice long thing, and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, that's cute. Okay, what am I getting?
Speaker 4: What if I'm sexual poem? You said, what what if
Speaker 4: it's a sexual poem?
Speaker 2: Even don't want it even less?
Speaker 4: It's like the best shit you wait, give us the bar?
Speaker 2: I read saying, give us a bar? What rhymes of
Speaker 2: some threesome? I don't know.
Speaker 3: I guess overall it's weird when it comes to the
Speaker 3: holiday conversation. I think with us being amongst the holiday season,
Speaker 3: with Christmas coming up, New Year's and then following directly
Speaker 3: right after that Valentine's Day, I think this is a
Speaker 3: conversation you should kind of have early with your partner.
Speaker 3: I guess, how how often, how soon into a relationship
Speaker 3: should it be within my couple of dates you're together.
Speaker 1: I hate this conversation. I've had it so many times.
Speaker 1: With Thanksgiving. Oh, with Thanksgiving, Oh, they popped up Basically,
Speaker 1: I thought you invited him. No, no, No, This's how happened.
Speaker 1: He was on the we were hanging out that weekend,
Speaker 1: you know, the night before Thanksgiving, had fun. He was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come, and I was like, uh, he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come.
Speaker 2: I'm just calm. That's what I mean by popped up,
Speaker 2: Like it wasn't me inviting him. Okay.
Speaker 1: But he later told me he felt like because my
Speaker 1: mom was facetimed and we talk about what she's gonna make,
Speaker 1: He's like, you wanted me to go.
Speaker 2: I'm like okay, okay.
Speaker 1: And I feel like, as we were dating for four
Speaker 1: months at that time, it's so difficult to figure out
Speaker 1: what someone wants to be.
Speaker 2: Honest, don't know if I wanted him to come or not.
Speaker 1: I mainly just was like, you don't want to overstep
Speaker 1: because it's early, because it's not just a holiday, it's family, right,
Speaker 1: So I don't fucking know.
Speaker 2: Like I really don't fucking know.
Speaker 1: I honestly, this year I was like, Yo, we're gonna
Speaker 1: invite my mom to Christmas with us? Like are we
Speaker 1: gonna blend these families right now? Like is this too much?
Speaker 1: And like it is a lot.
Speaker 3: So when do you think is the perfect time to
Speaker 3: have the conversation around holiday expectation?
Speaker 1: I think that all has to do with how soon
Speaker 1: you're willing to blend. Have you already met friends? Have
Speaker 1: you had a conversation about meeting someone else? Like most
Speaker 1: people meet their partner's family on a holiday. If you
Speaker 1: happening like that, you know what I mean? Someone had
Speaker 1: a birthday, someone had a thing, whatever, That's how kind
Speaker 1: of happens. So for me, I don't like to be
Speaker 1: pushy on my expectations of when I'm expecting to meet someone. Stanley,
Speaker 1: I feel like about six months is right. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I've ever said this on horrible But I
Speaker 1: can tell it now because we're together. But I remember
Speaker 1: writing in my phone and I told my homegirl this.
Speaker 1: Who claims I did a spell because I wrote it.
Speaker 1: I was really falling in love with my partner. And
Speaker 1: it hit seven months and I wrote in my phone,
Speaker 1: if he doesn't introduce me to his family, you shared this,
Speaker 1: Oh I did?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't think I want to do
Speaker 2: this anymore.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 2: Next day it was crazy.
Speaker 1: And when I told him about that, He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I needed to find the right day. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to just bring you to the house. And it was
Speaker 1: this presentation. So the perfect time arose for me for me,
Speaker 1: holidays a perfect because there's already a lot of people aren't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I yeah, it's a six month mark for me.
Speaker 2: Six month mark? What about what about you? Wolf? Like?
Speaker 2: How how soon? Actually? Well, he said take a year thing? Well, no,
Speaker 2: today to be his girlfriend?
Speaker 3: How how soon do you think you should have the
Speaker 3: conversation with some of your dating around holiday expectations?
Speaker 4: Let's have it as soon as possible, like as soon
Speaker 4: as possible, like let's just figure each other out and
Speaker 4: like everything I need to know let's ask the questions.
Speaker 4: Let's get to it.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no what no good answer? No no,
Speaker 1: give me as soon as possible. What is that you
Speaker 1: start talking to somebody in July.
Speaker 4: Let's start talking about it in July.
Speaker 2: I'm not mad at that.
Speaker 4: Why would that.
Speaker 1: I want to do? Now?
Speaker 2: Are you bringing it up?
Speaker 4: I don't matter who bring it up?
Speaker 1: We know?
Speaker 2: Tell me how you bring it up? Because you know what?
Speaker 4: So, how do you feel about holidays?
Speaker 2: Like it's that simple? You could have that. Oh, I
Speaker 2: know you're talking about me, but you're you.
Speaker 3: You you associated family members and things with holidays. I'm
Speaker 3: just talking about celebrating holidays in general, which is her thing.
Speaker 2: Talking past.
Speaker 3: Don't need the family to go with Like, it's okay,
Speaker 3: clebration of holidays. You think it should be something quite early.
Speaker 4: Let's talk about it earth.
Speaker 2: I agree, and also that as well. I gotta be honest.
Speaker 2: And it's like, why does he have to come her
Speaker 2: to a pumpkin patch?
Speaker 3: I wanted to do apples and a pumpkin patch with
Speaker 3: my ex yo. I absolutely want to do things with
Speaker 3: my partner. I do so much with my friends. There
Speaker 3: are things that I really enjoyed that I.
Speaker 2: Want to do with my partner.
Speaker 1: I get it, but it's like the weight that she's
Speaker 1: feeling from it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she want to take the cute pictures she want
Speaker 4: people to see.
Speaker 2: She wants or not even that she wants. Now that's
Speaker 2: what he is.
Speaker 3: It could just be I want you to do something
Speaker 3: that I like to do.
Speaker 2: If hollidays are.
Speaker 3: Big for me, and maybe I sacrifice some some you
Speaker 3: gotta celebrate like me, I sacrifice Christmas with a Muslim bitch.
Speaker 2: I want Valentine's.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm being a bitch about this, but I guess
Speaker 1: you are often being a bitch about things, but about
Speaker 1: a minding.
Speaker 2: But what you I feel like I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like I'm saying, maybe I'm being a bitch about
Speaker 1: it towards her because I get really emotional about things. Okay,
Speaker 1: but for some reason, the older I get, I realize
Speaker 1: there's certain things that I'm into that I'm dragging you into.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying that I could feel it.
Speaker 3: So that and that to me is what I think.
Speaker 3: She also said in this letter, wanting a compromise. No,
Speaker 3: it's not even the compromise. He is saying that he
Speaker 3: feels forced to doing this and that it doesn't make
Speaker 3: him feel good. I think that's another thing, dragging your
Speaker 3: partner in into something they absolutely hate. That's where then
Speaker 3: you have the conversation around what's a sacrifice and what's
Speaker 3: a compromise, because I also don't want to drag my
Speaker 3: partner into something that inevitably they're not going to enjoy
Speaker 3: themselves in they.
Speaker 1: Might resent agree like, don't I think she's presenting us
Speaker 1: this email in a certain way she did not present
Speaker 1: to him.
Speaker 3: Well, the fact that she willing to just wait till
Speaker 3: he even responds, like hit her up.
Speaker 2: I'm confused.
Speaker 1: Since we have a few minutes left, I want to
Speaker 1: bring up a little homemail with me, my homegirl and
Speaker 1: I who's having an issue today? Is it about the
Speaker 1: same topic, similar with compromise and sacrifice? Okay, so she
Speaker 1: is a certain look and her boyfriend follows women that
Speaker 1: are blonde and green eyed, let's just say, okay, a
Speaker 1: bunch of them, and she's kind of like, this is
Speaker 1: making me feel hello, weird and insecure. She wrote him
Speaker 1: a message and said she found it disrespectful that he
Speaker 1: likes all of these different girls pictures.
Speaker 2: Da da da, I'm like, hold on, hold on, Mandy,
Speaker 2: I was agreeing at first.
Speaker 1: I want you to look at the I said, well,
Speaker 1: it's just some bitches, so I'm thinking it's influencer girls, right.
Speaker 2: She's like, weezy. Now, all of these girls, first of all,
Speaker 2: they look alike. They all have a low under or
Speaker 2: AMNA follower.
Speaker 1: You could probably reach them. She's like, I feel like
Speaker 1: this is intentional. Why are you liking three photos of
Speaker 1: these fucking blonde hair, blue eyed, white hose like you
Speaker 1: must want something to do with them. He's like, yo,
Speaker 1: it's just Instagram. She's like, I feel like I can't
Speaker 1: talk to you about this because of your openness. Are
Speaker 1: they together? They're together, like live together. And she's like,
Speaker 1: this is really bothering me, and I need you to
Speaker 1: open your mind up to how this may make me feel.
Speaker 1: I felt so bad the sacrifice or compromise here. She
Speaker 1: basically he said, yo, I put pictures of you.
Speaker 2: On my Graham.
Speaker 1: That's my compromise. But you're telling me do you use
Speaker 1: that word? Like I can't enjoy Instagram for what it is.
Speaker 1: And she's like, I've never posted a woman before. I've
Speaker 1: put our relationship all up there. If any of these
Speaker 1: girls really thought that they could see you right there.
Speaker 1: She's like, that's not a compromise as normal. Meanwhile, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't like that he called your photo a compromise,
Speaker 1: but but I do think it's weird to police someone's shit.
Speaker 1: And for me, she's like, well, I don't post certain
Speaker 1: photos anymore, like I've literally made a sacrifice, I've made
Speaker 1: money with certain fashion no brand deals, da DA don't
Speaker 1: do it anymore because of him, So he can't get
Speaker 1: rid of some bitches for me. And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: know what you're saying, but to me, posting your body
Speaker 1: is different from liking a girl's pick. Maybe I can't
Speaker 1: be saying anything here, but I was really shocked that
Speaker 1: she was that mad about this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate the social media game with people.
Speaker 1: I know, if you liking a bitch, maybe that I
Speaker 1: know that's kind of embarrassing, Like if you're trying to
Speaker 1: fuck a bitch in my orbit, that's what embarrass me.
Speaker 2: But you're just like her issue is that what these
Speaker 2: women don't look like her.
Speaker 1: That he's following like a few hundred of the girls
Speaker 1: that look all the same like this, and that they
Speaker 1: don't look like her. She feels like, is this what
Speaker 1: you're into?
Speaker 3: She needs to go to therapy and address her own insecurities,
Speaker 3: like to me the wait wait home, to me when
Speaker 3: they got together, let me finish when they got together?
Speaker 3: Did she police all of these women that like? How
Speaker 3: how recent are even these follows? If this is something
Speaker 3: that happened prior to them getting together. He's been following
Speaker 3: all these women, He's been liking these type of pictures,
Speaker 3: bro the way I follow bodybuilder niggas, like skin niggas,
Speaker 3: niggas in London. Yeah, but what type of people? If
Speaker 3: I think, I think therapy is right? If I got
Speaker 3: no because she needs to address her insecurities. If I
Speaker 3: got with a partner who out of nowhere started going
Speaker 3: through who I follow and what pictures I like of
Speaker 3: niggas that I've been liking and following because esthetically, that's
Speaker 3: what my algorithm shows me. That's who I decided to follow,
Speaker 3: and then brought it to me like it was a problem.
Speaker 3: I would that would that would turn into an ick
Speaker 3: for me? That would that would that would turn me
Speaker 3: off that you've chosen to spend your time and go
Speaker 3: through my followers see that I have a type because
Speaker 3: clearly I have one, and then bring it to me
Speaker 3: like it's an issue within our relationship.
Speaker 1: I think two things are happening here. One completely agree
Speaker 1: with the Instagram comment you made. Do not agree with
Speaker 1: the other. And I'll tell you why.
Speaker 2: If your nigga likes stick figure.
Speaker 1: Model girls and that was all of the women from
Speaker 1: his past and all the women he follows, you're not
Speaker 1: an insecure person.
Speaker 2: If you think, oh, I'm not your type. I wasn't
Speaker 2: my type.
Speaker 3: All the niggas that cheated on me with their wives,
Speaker 3: I look nothing like their wives.
Speaker 1: I think it's not wrong at all to be curious.
Speaker 1: If someone is like, well, what is this? Then you
Speaker 1: remember I've even mentioned this, Mandy. I believe I'm beautiful.
Speaker 2: Actually I know what.
Speaker 1: I'm walking down the street all the time. But obay,
Speaker 1: only sheet on me with white girls. And there were
Speaker 1: so many times where I'm like, Okay, nigga, maybe you
Speaker 1: need to be with a white bitch. Like it was
Speaker 1: not me needing to go to therapy. It's a genuine
Speaker 1: curiosity of do you even like what you got?
Speaker 2: When I say go to therapy.
Speaker 3: I think there needs to be a real life conversation
Speaker 3: with self regarding your own insecurities.
Speaker 1: I think they get any over some of those bro
Speaker 1: being also in an interracial relationship. Maybe that's where my
Speaker 1: friend's black, so maybe that's another layer here An looks
Speaker 1: better than all them girls, not just cappin, but really like,
Speaker 1: I think there is something there when it becomes with intermingling,
Speaker 1: where it's like, yo, if you were with a white
Speaker 1: guy and all you did was like niggas photos, he'd
Speaker 1: be like, oh shit, do you fuck with me?
Speaker 2: I don't think that's wrong.
Speaker 1: I think being able to question whether someone is happy
Speaker 1: with they got her if they feel like they're missing something.
Speaker 2: I've had a joke, I just hate social media.
Speaker 1: I've had a joke in every relationship where they always
Speaker 1: say when a dude with dreads walks by the like
Speaker 1: oh deshotype or you miss that da da da.
Speaker 2: Even with my ex girlfriend, it's been a thing for me.
Speaker 2: So no shocker that I ended up with one.
Speaker 1: But I could see why somebody would feel insecure because
Speaker 1: I would always look. But it doesn't mean I wasn't loyal.
Speaker 1: I just think with this particular thing, it's interesting because
Speaker 1: our conversation together was that she felt like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to understand because of my style of relationships.
Speaker 1: I'm not as like, what's the word I'm looking for.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say controlling. I don't want to
Speaker 1: call her controlling. But I do have a lot of
Speaker 1: openness in my shit where I wouldn't care about shit
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: But in a normal relationship, I don't know, Wolf, is
Speaker 2: that weird to you?
Speaker 4: What was the question?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: The girl was asking like, Yo, can you not follow this?
Speaker 2: Many girls? Like she thinks it's weird that he's like
Speaker 2: all these minds.
Speaker 4: It's an interracial couple, right, He's white, she's black.
Speaker 1: And the girls all the girls look the same, white, blonde,
Speaker 1: blue eyed.
Speaker 4: I mean, I could see how that can maybe trigger insecurity.
Speaker 4: I mean, but he's white, so obviously I don't know, man,
Speaker 4: I don't know. Y'all need to have a conversation that to.
Speaker 3: Me, and I don't think that this is something where
Speaker 3: you can even bring up a sacrifice or a compromise.
Speaker 3: If you start sitting here and policing who what pictures
Speaker 3: he's liking or wants him to follow stuff, that to
Speaker 3: me is where the insecurity has overtaken this, and that's
Speaker 3: why I'm like, she needs to deal with her own things.
Speaker 3: If he's not cheating, or she has no like belief
Speaker 3: that he's stepping out and actually dealing with these girls
Speaker 3: or hitting them up, she needs to have more faith
Speaker 3: in her partner. Like liking pictures is not cheating, I
Speaker 3: don't following people is not cheating. If the issue is
Speaker 3: that he's following white girls, there is no There is
Speaker 3: no sacrifice or compromise with that conversation. She either has
Speaker 3: to get over it and trust in her partner's loyalty
Speaker 3: to her, or work with her insecurities around the interracialness
Speaker 3: of that relation.
Speaker 1: Because if the sacrifices, I'd have to give up the
Speaker 1: Graham I'm ringing up with you. You know, Instagram isn't
Speaker 1: that much.
Speaker 3: I would break up with someone who wanted to make
Speaker 3: Instagram an issue or gave you an ultimately before before
Speaker 3: they before they make me end it so again. That
Speaker 3: would be something I'm not willing to sacrifice. I'm not
Speaker 3: willing to change the way I handle social media, the
Speaker 3: way I post, who I follow, what I like.
Speaker 2: Baby, I'm gonna like every picture that met the man posts,
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 3: Not going to sit here and be upset about a
Speaker 3: hundred of times and will would love to know y'all's thoughts.
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Speaker 2: That is going to be the main place where we'll
Speaker 2: be able to read this. That was a perfect out.
Speaker 2: What she wrote was great.
Speaker 1: Give us a little backstory though, and if you got
Speaker 1: to dictate if something's going on with it.
Speaker 2: Because you're not, we don't want to see it.
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