1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,359 Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, friend, 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 1: or a terrible throatfull. 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 2: Guess what you've got decisions, all right. 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 3: So this conversation this week is it just makes sense, 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 3: especially with the holiday season coming up. 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,759 Speaker 2: And one of our holiday members holiday. 8 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 3: It could be a holiday or a holiday. I'm going 9 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 3: holiday because I ain't hoing right now. So I'm just 10 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 3: saying for a holiday season. Whether you are in a 11 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 3: relationship a situationship where it's complicated, there are sacrifices and 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 3: compromises that have to happen when you're dealing with somebody. 13 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,279 Speaker 3: So I'm gonna get straight into the letter and then 14 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 3: we're gonna break this down and give some advice. So 15 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 3: good morning, beautiful ladies. Apologies in advance for this being 16 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 3: so lengthy. I just need some fights, oh girl. And 17 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 3: it's not even that long. It's not that long. Calm down. 18 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 3: I'm betting thees, I'm betting Theese. I I just need 19 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 3: some advice on my current situation. I'm currently in a 20 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 3: long distance relationship. Sometimes we have fights and disagreements, but 21 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 3: outside of all of that, things are perfect except for 22 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 3: the distance. Of course, we had a semi heated argument 23 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 3: recently about him not wanting to celebrate holidays and that 24 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 3: he agreed to celebrate some with me, but only because 25 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 3: he feels like I forced him to agree to it out. 26 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 2: The combo got. 27 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 3: Heated because I'm emotional, and although there are many times 28 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,759 Speaker 3: I don't even celebrate anything, I still like to do 29 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:40,119 Speaker 3: holiday ish activities like pumpkin patches, seeing Christmas lights, Halloween parties, etc. 30 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 3: And in our combo, he said he would not do 31 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 3: that with me because he just doesn't celebrate holidays. He 32 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 3: chose to end the combo. We set our I love 33 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 3: yous and ended the night. The following day, I reached 34 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 3: out first. I almost always reach out first. I asked 35 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 3: him we can talk about the combo, and he said 36 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 3: there's nothing to talk about. I told him I didn't 37 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 3: like how the convo went, nor do I like that 38 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 3: he feels forced. I didn't realize how he felt before 39 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 3: he told me that, and that if he chooses not 40 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:13,359 Speaker 3: to celebrate with me, that's okay. Sacrifices and compromises right. 41 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 3: His responses were dry and indifferent. I then told him, 42 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 3: if that's how he was going to be he can 43 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 3: just text me when he wants to talk, and he 44 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 3: left me on red, which we never do. I'm going 45 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 3: to give him space and let him reach out when 46 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 3: he's ready. With that said, here are her questions. How 47 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 3: long would be enough time to wait before I reach 48 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 3: out if he doesn't? 49 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 2: In question two? Am I making this holiday thing a 50 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 2: big deal? 51 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 3: Part of our heated convo included him telling me I 52 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 3: can celebrate. 53 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: With friends or even along, or even along. 54 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 3: Then to celebrate with him, and it hurts me because 55 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 3: he talks about marriage and babies and moving in together, 56 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 3: and like now I'm hurting over this holiday thing. 57 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 2: I'm not sure what to do. Thank you both, and 58 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 2: looking forward to some insight. 59 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 3: So before we continue the conversation, let's answer her questions. 60 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 3: So question one, how long would be enough time to 61 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 3: wait before she reaches out if he doesn't? 62 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 2: Now? 63 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 4: Her? 64 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: Man? 65 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 2: Right? 66 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 3: This, that's what she said, she said, Well, she also 67 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,919 Speaker 3: said her current situation. No, she does. She says she's 68 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 3: in a long distance relationship. Yes, that's her man. How 69 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:29,359 Speaker 3: long is too long for time? I ain't gonna hold you. 70 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 3: I don't like I don't like this, I don't like 71 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 3: you just going silent like this to me, feels like 72 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 3: she's about to give him the silent treatment, so he 73 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 3: wants to have the conversation that she wants to have. 74 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 3: I don't think you should just wait for him to 75 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 3: hit you, because you also want him to talk about 76 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 3: this specific topic. 77 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 4: What what did they did he say why he doesn't 78 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 4: celebrate the holiday? 79 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 2: No, he just says he doesn't celebrate holidays. 80 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: I don't want to be judging, but I have to 81 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 1: say something. Okay, b Cha, you always hit him first? Yeah, 82 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: that is what she said. 83 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 2: That's it right there, girl, you always hit him first. 84 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: You think that's an issue? Yeah, buddy, ever fucked the 85 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 2: guy that liked you? I mean, she. 86 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 3: Says that they're in a long distance relationship, so I 87 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 3: don't know. 88 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 2: Maybe that was also. 89 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 3: Not the truth. Maybe she doesn't always hit him first. Well, 90 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,599 Speaker 3: then let's go back to the question. 91 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: Maybe it's not a relationship like that. I talked about 92 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: moving nigga niggas on a second day. They'd be like okay, 93 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: and we were like people sometimes like a cake on 94 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: the phone. 95 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 2: Okay. Also, I wouldn't want to go to Pumpkin Patch either. 96 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: Just gonna say that, that's what you don't I wouldn't 97 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: want to go see Christmas lights either. I don't like 98 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: that stuff. My homegirls were trying to give me go 99 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 1: apple picking. 100 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 3: Now, what about the celebration of holidays in terms of 101 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 3: the gift giving? 102 00:04:55,880 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: So I'm on what you're on. If I'm like really 103 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: into you, but I can't understand a man not wanting 104 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: to do. 105 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 2: Shit like that, I can. Okay, So something do you think? 106 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 3: Then that's the second question, like is she making this 107 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 3: holiday thing a big deal? 108 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 2: Yeah? Really, No, I disagree. I think she is. I disagree. 109 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 3: I think first off, I think that these are one 110 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 3: of like kind of like political views, religious views. If 111 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 3: this is something you really like celebrating. Like, let's be clear, 112 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 3: I was just with a fucking Muslim that didn't celebrate 113 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 3: certain holidays. 114 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 2: I have homegirls that don't do Halloween. I get it, 115 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 2: which is fine. That's why I'm confused. Homegirl and a 116 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 2: partner is two different. 117 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: But if my partner really didn't celebrate Halloween for a 118 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: certain reason. 119 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 3: No, so let me finish well, I don't even think 120 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 3: it's the wild like religious religiously my ex did not 121 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 3: celebrate Halloween, but the two but the holiday I wanted 122 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 3: to celebrate was Valentine's Day. I think that I don't 123 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 3: want to sacrifice me wanting to feel a certain way 124 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 3: or something that means a lot to me. 125 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 2: That's the thing. I'm gonna be honest. 126 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: And I know this probably sounds like I'm trying to 127 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: cap because I'm a girl. But Valentine's Day is slightly 128 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 1: different because it's for lovers, it's four couples. I can 129 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 1: understand someone not wanting to fucking celebday. 130 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 3: And I broke up with my nigga because he chose 131 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:17,840 Speaker 3: to not make me. 132 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: On Valentine's Day. So then let's not hone in on 133 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 2: just each specific. 134 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,480 Speaker 1: But but a pumpkin path for Halloween, let's talk about 135 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 1: it's not a holiday where let's talk about general because 136 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: that really is the point. Though I believe Valentine's Day 137 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 1: is the outlier. Well no, she said, Well, she brought 138 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 1: up holidays in general. So she spoke about Halloween, she 139 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: spoke about Christmas, she spoke about different holidays. So let's 140 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: not dissect each holiday in which one you can and 141 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:50,839 Speaker 1: cannot sacrifice overall, do you think that you can be 142 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,720 Speaker 1: with someone as someone who enjoys the holiday spirit and 143 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: celebrating holidays, have a healthy relationship with someone who's genuinely 144 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: saying that they don't want to celebrate holidays. 145 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 2: I could if that reason was either religious or some 146 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 2: hotep shit. That's what. 147 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 4: I really couldn't know holidays. 148 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 2: I fucked with a lot of. 149 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: Hotep niggas that will say things like yo, I'm gonna 150 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: get you flowers, stare and get you whatever you give. 151 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: Fore like, this is a holiday that's you know, commodifying 152 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: love and it's hall Mark shiit, Like. 153 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 2: I totally some people are really like that with Christmas. 154 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: You gotta remember, I grew up Jewish, so I don't 155 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: really understand like how that day was a big deal 156 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 1: for everybody. 157 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 2: Thanksgiving we're woke now, Indigenous Day. 158 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 4: I don't know. 159 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 2: I don't I really wouldn't give a fuck. Okay, I 160 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 2: really do feel like I could do that shit with 161 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 2: my friends. 162 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: The only holiday I really love is Halloween, actually, and 163 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: it was because it was the one holiday that my 164 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: parents didn't really fight because they were like Christmas Hanukah. 165 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: There was always some tension there, but if it was 166 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: genuinely important to me and someone felt like it was 167 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: devil worshiping wouldn't give a fuck. 168 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 3: I really think we have to so that So that's 169 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Oh wait, so you would not celebrate 170 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 3: if you said you really like, oh, I'm not gonna 171 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 3: celebrate with you. 172 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 2: No, but that's what I'm saying. I'm not gonna go 173 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 2: to the clerk, but you would. So you think I'm 174 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 2: not gonna be Halloween part Are you gonna be like this? 175 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 3: So you would deal with someone who's completely against Halloween? 176 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 2: Yeah? 177 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: If I bro I've met so many amazing people in 178 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: my life that have some kind of flaw. 179 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 2: I do a podcast with one. 180 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, but I'm saying, like, there's always going 181 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: to be something wrong with a partner. So like, how 182 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: can we how can we say that the Halloween is 183 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 1: gonna make you break up or the Thanksgiving or this 184 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 1: or that? 185 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 3: Like no, So then let me ask you this, since 186 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 3: we're talking about it, how do you differentiate between a 187 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 3: compromise and a sacrifice? 188 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:35,680 Speaker 4: If? 189 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 2: To me, that's a good question. 190 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: I think that a compromise is where you meet in 191 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: the middle, and a sacrifice is something you give up 192 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 1: for someone and I think they may not be interchangeable, right, 193 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: Like maybe a sacrifice is something you have to do 194 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: to be in this relationship. A compromise is the way 195 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: you guys kind of meet each other in a place 196 00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 1: right Like for me, I know it's not relative. Just 197 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: thinking about compromises I have in my ethically non monogamous relationship. 198 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 1: I have boundaries and things I compromised on and so 199 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 1: and things that he sacrificed for me. 200 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 2: So it's all different. 201 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 3: Do you have and well, if I want to ask you, 202 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 3: is this as well? Do you have anything you're not 203 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 3: willing to sacrifice in a relationship? 204 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 2: Male friendships? 205 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my friendships. I'm not willing to sacrifice at all. 206 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: For that has been a thing every man I've ever 207 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 1: dated has been like, damn, you hang out with a 208 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,479 Speaker 1: lot of niggas. 209 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 2: Same, I'm not willing to see. 210 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: Got to be totally honest with you, and I'm not 211 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: giving up my whole friends, my homegirls, my escort friends. 212 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: I'm not giving up the ones that'd be in the streets, 213 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: not giving up any of them. You got to just 214 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: trust me. The thing with men that can sometimes be 215 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: threatening to men as well is that, especially the world 216 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 1: I'm in, I can't eliminate men. I fucking have a 217 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 1: business partner. That's why you know what I'm saying, Like 218 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do? But I won't give 219 00:09:55,200 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 1: up that. I also realize bisexuality is so fluctuating for 220 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: me that like, I don't know if I could really 221 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:10,839 Speaker 1: give up playing together like non monogamy. I would be 222 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 1: able to give up women alone, but I couldn't give 223 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,559 Speaker 1: up not ever eating but pussy again. 224 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, same for me. 225 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: When I dated the hospital dick, he was not into 226 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 1: three somes. He really didn't even like sharing porn together, 227 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: Like he didn't like that. 228 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 2: I like that shit. 229 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: And remember when my homegirl said to me, like she 230 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,319 Speaker 1: felt like, oh, I couldn't let a man do that 231 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 1: to me or a cheat in my face. That's what 232 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: my relationship is, she said. I literally was thinking Mandy 233 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: this weekend. He went to that bachelor party I told 234 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,559 Speaker 1: you about, and his friends were kind of boring. He's like, 235 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:47,079 Speaker 1: these niggs ain't even talking about the show club. I 236 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: was like, damn, I hope you get to fuck a 237 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: little country white girl who's like feticizing you and it's 238 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: some crazy shit you tell me about it. That was 239 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: a genuine answer. I really wanted that nigga to come 240 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: back with a sex story. I know I'm sick, Okay, yeah, yeah, 241 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: I that to be fun. I want to hear about 242 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: it what you do last night? Like, I am into 243 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: that shit, and I know a lot of girls can 244 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,319 Speaker 1: think I'm fronting on it, but it really is something 245 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 1: I'm into. When I dated Hospital Dick, it was a 246 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: sacrifice that I thought I would enjoy and I realized 247 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: wants the puppy face. 248 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 2: A little. 249 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 3: When it comes to sacrifices and wolf if you've ever 250 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 3: done it as well? Is there any way to sacrifice 251 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 3: something for a relationship and not harbor resentment because you're 252 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 3: essentially changing something about yourself in order to maintain or 253 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 3: stay in a relationship with someone who is making you 254 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 3: give up something you potentially may. 255 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 2: Really enjoy or may really like. 256 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,679 Speaker 3: Is there any way to give something up while dating 257 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 3: someone and not later resent them for it or be 258 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 3: upset or harbor any sort of emotion around that. 259 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's definitely possible. I think nobody's bigger 260 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 4: than the program when it comes to a relationship. So 261 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 4: if you're doing it out of pure respect for that person, 262 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 4: the respect is bigger than the thing that you hold 263 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 4: it onto. It's like, Okay, I can do away with 264 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 4: this out of the the union that me and you have. 265 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 3: What if it's a part of you, Like Weezy just mentioned, 266 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 3: she wouldn't be open to sacrificing her sexuality for a relationship. 267 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 3: What if you're sacrificing something that innately makes you who 268 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 3: you are, then. 269 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 4: You're gonna have a problem. But be like. 270 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:27,200 Speaker 1: Halloween, I don't feel like Halloween or Thanksgiving or Christmas 271 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: is something that I need with my partner. Well, if 272 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 1: you all get rid of your religious it would make 273 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: me feel great to spend holidays with you. 274 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 2: If you really hated holidays. 275 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: That much, I'm not gonna give up on my nigga 276 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,959 Speaker 1: for fucking a few days a year. 277 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 2: What okay? 278 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 4: Right? 279 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 1: But Valentine's Day, I really do believe it's different. And 280 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: I remember we had that episode we were all together 281 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:49,719 Speaker 1: in the room a few years ago. 282 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 2: Remember Wolf. 283 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 1: I really do think men know how special Valentine's Day 284 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 1: can be to some women. And I think you have 285 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 1: to consciously not get a fucking flower or do something thing, 286 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: And you're. 287 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 2: Trying, That's what I'm saying. 288 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 3: It's intentional at that point, But with these other ones 289 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:10,200 Speaker 3: being that they can be controversial, whereas Valentine's Day is 290 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 3: an actual holiday about someone you love. 291 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, a little different. And I'm not. 292 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: Talking about do your word bag or fucking whatever, but 293 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 1: just the acknowledgment I love you. 294 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 2: Send me a little poem, nigga whatever? Oh no, I 295 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 2: don't want a poem. Don't send me no fucking poem. 296 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,319 Speaker 2: Oh I like that. What do you want? 297 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 3: You're getting real? Like, whoa, do not send me no 298 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 3: fucking poem. I think that's just gonna be all right. 299 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 3: I'm talking about additionally, Oh okay, sure send me a 300 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,720 Speaker 3: fucking haikup and then something else. Yeah, no, no, but 301 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 3: I like all that. 302 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 1: Levey Debbie extra Shiit Roses read My assig was a 303 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: waiter and made us dinner and he wrote me this 304 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,560 Speaker 1: really nice long thing, and I was. 305 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 2: Like, that's cute. Okay, what am I getting? 306 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 4: What if I'm sexual poem? You said, what what if 307 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:53,679 Speaker 4: it's a sexual poem? 308 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 2: Even don't want it even less? 309 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 4: It's like the best shit you wait, give us the bar? 310 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,719 Speaker 2: I read saying, give us a bar? What rhymes of 311 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 2: some threesome? I don't know. 312 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 3: I guess overall it's weird when it comes to the 313 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:13,559 Speaker 3: holiday conversation. I think with us being amongst the holiday season, 314 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,560 Speaker 3: with Christmas coming up, New Year's and then following directly 315 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 3: right after that Valentine's Day, I think this is a 316 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 3: conversation you should kind of have early with your partner. 317 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 3: I guess, how how often, how soon into a relationship 318 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 3: should it be within my couple of dates you're together. 319 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: I hate this conversation. I've had it so many times. 320 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: With Thanksgiving. Oh, with Thanksgiving, Oh, they popped up Basically, 321 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: I thought you invited him. No, no, No, This's how happened. 322 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: He was on the we were hanging out that weekend, 323 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: you know, the night before Thanksgiving, had fun. He was like, 324 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna come, and I was like, uh, he was like, 325 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna come. 326 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 2: I'm just calm. That's what I mean by popped up, 327 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 2: Like it wasn't me inviting him. Okay. 328 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: But he later told me he felt like because my 329 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: mom was facetimed and we talk about what she's gonna make, 330 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: He's like, you wanted me to go. 331 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 2: I'm like okay, okay. 332 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: And I feel like, as we were dating for four 333 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: months at that time, it's so difficult to figure out 334 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: what someone wants to be. 335 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 2: Honest, don't know if I wanted him to come or not. 336 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: I mainly just was like, you don't want to overstep 337 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 1: because it's early, because it's not just a holiday, it's family, right, 338 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: So I don't fucking know. 339 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 2: Like I really don't fucking know. 340 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: I honestly, this year I was like, Yo, we're gonna 341 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: invite my mom to Christmas with us? Like are we 342 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: gonna blend these families right now? Like is this too much? 343 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: And like it is a lot. 344 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 3: So when do you think is the perfect time to 345 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 3: have the conversation around holiday expectation? 346 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: I think that all has to do with how soon 347 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: you're willing to blend. Have you already met friends? Have 348 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 1: you had a conversation about meeting someone else? Like most 349 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: people meet their partner's family on a holiday. If you 350 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 1: happening like that, you know what I mean? Someone had 351 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: a birthday, someone had a thing, whatever, That's how kind 352 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: of happens. So for me, I don't like to be 353 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 1: pushy on my expectations of when I'm expecting to meet someone. Stanley, 354 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 1: I feel like about six months is right. I don't 355 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: know if I've ever said this on horrible But I 356 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: can tell it now because we're together. But I remember 357 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: writing in my phone and I told my homegirl this. 358 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: Who claims I did a spell because I wrote it. 359 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 1: I was really falling in love with my partner. And 360 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 1: it hit seven months and I wrote in my phone, 361 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: if he doesn't introduce me to his family, you shared this, 362 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: Oh I did? 363 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't think I want to do 364 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 2: this anymore. 365 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 4: Bro. 366 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 2: Next day it was crazy. 367 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: And when I told him about that, He's like, yeah, 368 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 1: I needed to find the right day. I didn't want 369 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: to just bring you to the house. And it was 370 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 1: this presentation. So the perfect time arose for me for me, 371 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: holidays a perfect because there's already a lot of people aren't. Yeah, 372 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,120 Speaker 1: but I yeah, it's a six month mark for me. 373 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 2: Six month mark? What about what about you? Wolf? Like? 374 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 2: How how soon? Actually? Well, he said take a year thing? Well, no, 375 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 2: today to be his girlfriend? 376 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 3: How how soon do you think you should have the 377 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,640 Speaker 3: conversation with some of your dating around holiday expectations? 378 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 4: Let's have it as soon as possible, like as soon 379 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 4: as possible, like let's just figure each other out and 380 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 4: like everything I need to know let's ask the questions. 381 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 4: Let's get to it. 382 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,640 Speaker 1: No no, no, no what no good answer? No no, 383 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,959 Speaker 1: give me as soon as possible. What is that you 384 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 1: start talking to somebody in July. 385 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 4: Let's start talking about it in July. 386 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:26,400 Speaker 2: I'm not mad at that. 387 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 4: Why would that. 388 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: I want to do? Now? 389 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 2: Are you bringing it up? 390 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 4: I don't matter who bring it up? 391 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 1: We know? 392 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 2: Tell me how you bring it up? Because you know what? 393 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 4: So, how do you feel about holidays? 394 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,919 Speaker 2: Like it's that simple? You could have that. Oh, I 395 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 2: know you're talking about me, but you're you. 396 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 3: You you associated family members and things with holidays. I'm 397 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,240 Speaker 3: just talking about celebrating holidays in general, which is her thing. 398 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 2: Talking past. 399 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 3: Don't need the family to go with Like, it's okay, 400 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,159 Speaker 3: clebration of holidays. You think it should be something quite early. 401 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:57,160 Speaker 4: Let's talk about it earth. 402 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 2: I agree, and also that as well. I gotta be honest. 403 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,439 Speaker 2: And it's like, why does he have to come her 404 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 2: to a pumpkin patch? 405 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,439 Speaker 3: I wanted to do apples and a pumpkin patch with 406 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 3: my ex yo. I absolutely want to do things with 407 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,920 Speaker 3: my partner. I do so much with my friends. There 408 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,640 Speaker 3: are things that I really enjoyed that I. 409 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 2: Want to do with my partner. 410 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 1: I get it, but it's like the weight that she's 411 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: feeling from it. 412 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, she want to take the cute pictures she want 413 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:21,920 Speaker 4: people to see. 414 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 2: She wants or not even that she wants. Now that's 415 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 2: what he is. 416 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 3: It could just be I want you to do something 417 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 3: that I like to do. 418 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 2: If hollidays are. 419 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 3: Big for me, and maybe I sacrifice some some you 420 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 3: gotta celebrate like me, I sacrifice Christmas with a Muslim bitch. 421 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 2: I want Valentine's. 422 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,919 Speaker 1: Maybe I'm being a bitch about this, but I guess 423 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 1: you are often being a bitch about things, but about 424 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: a minding. 425 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 2: But what you I feel like I don't know. 426 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 1: I like I'm saying, maybe I'm being a bitch about 427 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 1: it towards her because I get really emotional about things. Okay, 428 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:58,120 Speaker 1: but for some reason, the older I get, I realize 429 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 1: there's certain things that I'm into that I'm dragging you into. 430 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying that I could feel it. 431 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 3: So that and that to me is what I think. 432 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 3: She also said in this letter, wanting a compromise. No, 433 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 3: it's not even the compromise. He is saying that he 434 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 3: feels forced to doing this and that it doesn't make 435 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 3: him feel good. I think that's another thing, dragging your 436 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 3: partner in into something they absolutely hate. That's where then 437 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 3: you have the conversation around what's a sacrifice and what's 438 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,119 Speaker 3: a compromise, because I also don't want to drag my 439 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 3: partner into something that inevitably they're not going to enjoy 440 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 3: themselves in they. 441 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: Might resent agree like, don't I think she's presenting us 442 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: this email in a certain way she did not present 443 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,440 Speaker 1: to him. 444 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 3: Well, the fact that she willing to just wait till 445 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,440 Speaker 3: he even responds, like hit her up. 446 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,399 Speaker 2: I'm confused. 447 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 1: Since we have a few minutes left, I want to 448 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 1: bring up a little homemail with me, my homegirl and 449 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 1: I who's having an issue today? Is it about the 450 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:58,159 Speaker 1: same topic, similar with compromise and sacrifice? Okay, so she 451 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 1: is a certain look and her boyfriend follows women that 452 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:07,360 Speaker 1: are blonde and green eyed, let's just say, okay, a 453 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:12,119 Speaker 1: bunch of them, and she's kind of like, this is 454 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,159 Speaker 1: making me feel hello, weird and insecure. She wrote him 455 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 1: a message and said she found it disrespectful that he 456 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: likes all of these different girls pictures. 457 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 2: Da da da, I'm like, hold on, hold on, Mandy, 458 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 2: I was agreeing at first. 459 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: I want you to look at the I said, well, 460 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: it's just some bitches, so I'm thinking it's influencer girls, right. 461 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 2: She's like, weezy. Now, all of these girls, first of all, 462 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 2: they look alike. They all have a low under or 463 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,440 Speaker 2: AMNA follower. 464 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: You could probably reach them. She's like, I feel like 465 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 1: this is intentional. Why are you liking three photos of 466 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,000 Speaker 1: these fucking blonde hair, blue eyed, white hose like you 467 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,199 Speaker 1: must want something to do with them. He's like, yo, 468 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: it's just Instagram. She's like, I feel like I can't 469 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,919 Speaker 1: talk to you about this because of your openness. Are 470 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,879 Speaker 1: they together? They're together, like live together. And she's like, 471 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,359 Speaker 1: this is really bothering me, and I need you to 472 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,439 Speaker 1: open your mind up to how this may make me feel. 473 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,359 Speaker 1: I felt so bad the sacrifice or compromise here. She 474 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: basically he said, yo, I put pictures of you. 475 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 2: On my Graham. 476 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 1: That's my compromise. But you're telling me do you use 477 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,719 Speaker 1: that word? Like I can't enjoy Instagram for what it is. 478 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: And she's like, I've never posted a woman before. I've 479 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: put our relationship all up there. If any of these 480 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: girls really thought that they could see you right there. 481 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 1: She's like, that's not a compromise as normal. Meanwhile, I'm like, 482 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,640 Speaker 1: I don't like that he called your photo a compromise, 483 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 1: but but I do think it's weird to police someone's shit. 484 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: And for me, she's like, well, I don't post certain 485 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,200 Speaker 1: photos anymore, like I've literally made a sacrifice, I've made 486 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: money with certain fashion no brand deals, da DA don't 487 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 1: do it anymore because of him, So he can't get 488 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,199 Speaker 1: rid of some bitches for me. And I'm like, I 489 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 1: know what you're saying, but to me, posting your body 490 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,840 Speaker 1: is different from liking a girl's pick. Maybe I can't 491 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 1: be saying anything here, but I was really shocked that 492 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 1: she was that mad about this. 493 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate the social media game with people. 494 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: I know, if you liking a bitch, maybe that I 495 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: know that's kind of embarrassing, Like if you're trying to 496 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,199 Speaker 1: fuck a bitch in my orbit, that's what embarrass me. 497 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 2: But you're just like her issue is that what these 498 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,160 Speaker 2: women don't look like her. 499 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,920 Speaker 1: That he's following like a few hundred of the girls 500 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,679 Speaker 1: that look all the same like this, and that they 501 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 1: don't look like her. She feels like, is this what 502 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:36,320 Speaker 1: you're into? 503 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 3: She needs to go to therapy and address her own insecurities, 504 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 3: like to me the wait wait home, to me when 505 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 3: they got together, let me finish when they got together? 506 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 3: Did she police all of these women that like? How 507 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 3: how recent are even these follows? If this is something 508 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 3: that happened prior to them getting together. He's been following 509 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,000 Speaker 3: all these women, He's been liking these type of pictures, 510 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 3: bro the way I follow bodybuilder niggas, like skin niggas, 511 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 3: niggas in London. Yeah, but what type of people? If 512 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,800 Speaker 3: I think, I think therapy is right? If I got 513 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 3: no because she needs to address her insecurities. If I 514 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 3: got with a partner who out of nowhere started going 515 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 3: through who I follow and what pictures I like of 516 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 3: niggas that I've been liking and following because esthetically, that's 517 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 3: what my algorithm shows me. That's who I decided to follow, 518 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 3: and then brought it to me like it was a problem. 519 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,199 Speaker 3: I would that would that would turn into an ick 520 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,399 Speaker 3: for me? That would that would that would turn me 521 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,919 Speaker 3: off that you've chosen to spend your time and go 522 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 3: through my followers see that I have a type because 523 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 3: clearly I have one, and then bring it to me 524 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 3: like it's an issue within our relationship. 525 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 1: I think two things are happening here. One completely agree 526 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: with the Instagram comment you made. Do not agree with 527 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 1: the other. And I'll tell you why. 528 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 2: If your nigga likes stick figure. 529 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,360 Speaker 1: Model girls and that was all of the women from 530 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,439 Speaker 1: his past and all the women he follows, you're not 531 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 1: an insecure person. 532 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 2: If you think, oh, I'm not your type. I wasn't 533 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 2: my type. 534 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 3: All the niggas that cheated on me with their wives, 535 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 3: I look nothing like their wives. 536 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,159 Speaker 1: I think it's not wrong at all to be curious. 537 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 1: If someone is like, well, what is this? Then you 538 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: remember I've even mentioned this, Mandy. I believe I'm beautiful. 539 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 2: Actually I know what. 540 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 1: I'm walking down the street all the time. But obay, 541 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 1: only sheet on me with white girls. And there were 542 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: so many times where I'm like, Okay, nigga, maybe you 543 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,960 Speaker 1: need to be with a white bitch. Like it was 544 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 1: not me needing to go to therapy. It's a genuine 545 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: curiosity of do you even like what you got? 546 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 2: When I say go to therapy. 547 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,199 Speaker 3: I think there needs to be a real life conversation 548 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,200 Speaker 3: with self regarding your own insecurities. 549 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,400 Speaker 1: I think they get any over some of those bro 550 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,439 Speaker 1: being also in an interracial relationship. Maybe that's where my 551 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 1: friend's black, so maybe that's another layer here An looks 552 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,479 Speaker 1: better than all them girls, not just cappin, but really like, 553 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 1: I think there is something there when it becomes with intermingling, 554 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 1: where it's like, yo, if you were with a white 555 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 1: guy and all you did was like niggas photos, he'd 556 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,160 Speaker 1: be like, oh shit, do you fuck with me? 557 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 2: I don't think that's wrong. 558 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 1: I think being able to question whether someone is happy 559 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 1: with they got her if they feel like they're missing something. 560 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 2: I've had a joke, I just hate social media. 561 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 1: I've had a joke in every relationship where they always 562 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 1: say when a dude with dreads walks by the like 563 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,159 Speaker 1: oh deshotype or you miss that da da da. 564 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 2: Even with my ex girlfriend, it's been a thing for me. 565 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 2: So no shocker that I ended up with one. 566 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,120 Speaker 1: But I could see why somebody would feel insecure because 567 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: I would always look. But it doesn't mean I wasn't loyal. 568 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 1: I just think with this particular thing, it's interesting because 569 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,199 Speaker 1: our conversation together was that she felt like I wouldn't 570 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: be able to understand because of my style of relationships. 571 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 1: I'm not as like, what's the word I'm looking for. 572 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to say controlling. I don't want to 573 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: call her controlling. But I do have a lot of 574 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 1: openness in my shit where I wouldn't care about shit 575 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:48,240 Speaker 1: like that. 576 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,480 Speaker 2: But in a normal relationship, I don't know, Wolf, is 577 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:51,119 Speaker 2: that weird to you? 578 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 4: What was the question? 579 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 1: Right? 580 00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 2: The girl was asking like, Yo, can you not follow this? 581 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 2: Many girls? Like she thinks it's weird that he's like 582 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:03,880 Speaker 2: all these minds. 583 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 4: It's an interracial couple, right, He's white, she's black. 584 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 1: And the girls all the girls look the same, white, blonde, 585 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,400 Speaker 1: blue eyed. 586 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,400 Speaker 4: I mean, I could see how that can maybe trigger insecurity. 587 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 4: I mean, but he's white, so obviously I don't know, man, 588 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 4: I don't know. Y'all need to have a conversation that to. 589 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,120 Speaker 3: Me, and I don't think that this is something where 590 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 3: you can even bring up a sacrifice or a compromise. 591 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,720 Speaker 3: If you start sitting here and policing who what pictures 592 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 3: he's liking or wants him to follow stuff, that to 593 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 3: me is where the insecurity has overtaken this, and that's 594 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,640 Speaker 3: why I'm like, she needs to deal with her own things. 595 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 3: If he's not cheating, or she has no like belief 596 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 3: that he's stepping out and actually dealing with these girls 597 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 3: or hitting them up, she needs to have more faith 598 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,399 Speaker 3: in her partner. Like liking pictures is not cheating, I 599 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 3: don't following people is not cheating. If the issue is 600 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 3: that he's following white girls, there is no There is 601 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,640 Speaker 3: no sacrifice or compromise with that conversation. She either has 602 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 3: to get over it and trust in her partner's loyalty 603 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:10,200 Speaker 3: to her, or work with her insecurities around the interracialness 604 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 3: of that relation. 605 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,760 Speaker 1: Because if the sacrifices, I'd have to give up the 606 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: Graham I'm ringing up with you. You know, Instagram isn't 607 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: that much. 608 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 3: I would break up with someone who wanted to make 609 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 3: Instagram an issue or gave you an ultimately before before 610 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 3: they before they make me end it so again. That 611 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 3: would be something I'm not willing to sacrifice. I'm not 612 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 3: willing to change the way I handle social media, the 613 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 3: way I post, who I follow, what I like. 614 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,120 Speaker 2: Baby, I'm gonna like every picture that met the man posts, 615 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 2: and you. 616 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 3: Not going to sit here and be upset about a 617 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 3: hundred of times and will would love to know y'all's thoughts. 618 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 3: If you want to see the full video of this, 619 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,400 Speaker 3: make sure you join our patreon that's patreon dot com, 620 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:50,760 Speaker 3: back slash Horrible Decisions and. 621 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,159 Speaker 1: If you want to get your letter or email right, 622 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,719 Speaker 1: hit us up at Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. 623 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 2: That is going to be the main place where we'll 624 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 2: be able to read this. That was a perfect out. 625 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 2: What she wrote was great. 626 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 1: Give us a little backstory though, and if you got 627 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 1: to dictate if something's going on with it. 628 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 2: Because you're not, we don't want to see it. 629 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 3: Keep it in and make sure you guys check our 630 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 3: timeline again. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review every Wednesday. 631 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 3: We are bringing y'all advice right here all the time, 632 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:20,440 Speaker 3: so yeah, check that out.