WEBVTT - Real Life Dating Advice, Unsolicited D*** Pics, and Bio-Bating 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:17.560 It's I Do Part two and it's your celebrity mentor 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:20.640 Kelly Benson, when I'm so excited to be joined by 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:24.439 one of your favorite single gals and mine, you know 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:26.280 her and love her on the pod. 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.400 It's Louise. Hi, Louise, how are I Hi? 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:32.720 Kelly. It's good to be back with you today. 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:34.200 We have so much to talk about. 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:36.839 We're talking about trends and dating and then we're going 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:41.480 to talk about some relationship stuff and answer some questions. 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:42.360 Are you ready? 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:44.199 I'm ready. Let's get into it. 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:46.040 First of all, how's your relationship? 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:49.000 Wow? Well I have. I had to put it on 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:53.000 pause because my own baggage always comes into play, so, 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.360 uh yeah, so figuring it out. 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:57.639 What kind of baggage? You don't have, no baggage, You're 0:00:57.680 --> 0:00:58.960 too pretty for baggage. 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:02.160 Well maybe on the exterior. Thank you for saying that. No, 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:05.559 just some of my avoidant attachment stuff comes into play 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.440 and all that stuff. So I'm taking a pause on 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.080 that right now and trying to do some cleanup on it. 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.360 But at least I'm recognizing it, and I'm recognizing my pattern. 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:18.199 And it's not for lack of the most amazing guy. 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:20.760 I'd probably ever been dating. So I have to figure 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:21.400 this out. 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.120 Can you just tell me a little bit about avoidant 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:26.800 attachment kind of what that means to you, because I'm 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:29.240 people use that a lot and I'm just interested to 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:31.720 hear what you have to say about it. Yeah. 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:33.840 So, I think when you grow up and you have 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:37.960 some sort of like trauma wounds, you develop how you 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:42.039 react to situations. And I think for me, when somebody 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:47.160 wants too much of me, it feels like pressuring and suffocating. 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.120 So what happens is is the more they kind of 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.040 come at me wanting more, I end up going a 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:55.600 little bit more backwards. And the more I go backwards, 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:58.920 the more they want me. So I'm I'm attracting more 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:02.000 maybe anxio. It's just kind of attachment. So it's kind 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:05.520 of like this dance, and I need to figure out 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:10.440 that piece because what it's doing is is it's almost 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:13.480 having the opposite effect I think of what they're wanting. 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:15.480 I guess I'm a lot more like the guy and 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:19.440 maybe at times and that just comes from some baggage 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:21.720 in my life. But I'm aware of it and I'm 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:25.280 really trying to improve on it. So we'll see what. 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:27.520 But a good one. What about you? 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:29.840 I mean, come on, let's be honest, Like, you're so 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:31.000 pretty and smart. 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:33.320 I'm sure that a lot of guys are like I 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:34.200 want that. 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.560 It's like the bright shiny you know, you know, bright 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.280 and shiny. You're bright and shiny, So everyone's like, that's 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:40.960 what they want. 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:43.600 Thank you. Well, I appreciate that. It's just I think 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:47.200 this is a bummer because this was probably the unicorn 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.919 of all unicorns that I'd ever been involved in. So look, 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.040 I believe in the universe and if something is meant 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:56.040 to be, it circles back in the right way or 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:59.640 it doesn't. And I feel like each kind of person 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:02.480 in my life for all that is just getting better 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.400 and better. And I'm making better and better choices and 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:07.639 getting healthier, so it's going to work itself out. 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:08.760 I love that. 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.679 Let's talk about some new dating app launches. 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:15.680 Oh my god, oh my god, the world is crazy. 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:20.600 So Louise, there's this app. It's called Hilly hil. 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:23.000 Y, and it's a dating app with thirty nine million 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.320 worldwide users, and they just launched a feature to stop 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:32.160 unwanted explicit messages and cyber flashing. That sounds very provocative. 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:36.200 Or sending non consensual nude images. So they have a 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:40.600 consent guard which uses machine learning models and custom algorithm 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.880 to scan for your specific words and messages and elements 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:44.640 of photos. 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.200 So something X rated is coming through Hilly. 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:50.320 We'll alert a user that their match wants to send 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:51.960 an explicit message. 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:57.080 What do you think of a sending explicit messages? And 0:03:58.080 --> 0:03:59.840 b would you ever ask for one? 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.600 Well, I mean, first of all, I think it's great 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.680 that there's all these different kind of apps that like 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:09.920 work for somebody's own individual kind of like Appetite or 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:12.600 kink or whatever. Right, It's it's definitely not a one 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:15.560 size fits all kind of thing out there. So if 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:19.360 there are apps that are more specific to something like this, 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:23.920 then somebody is going to like that. I personally, if 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:27.960 I were to get that, I wouldn't like. I would 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.280 like block right away. But I think for some people 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:33.560 they're going to be into this and they're going to 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:37.200 think this is I don't know, like it's it's the 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:40.880 feature of blocking it for some people I think is 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:44.000 gonna work well, while others still want the dick pics. 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:46.680 So this is a feature. It's not an data app. 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.880 It's actually a feature that goes that's on the dating 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:54.560 app to alert people who want photos or who don't 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:55.960 want photos. 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:57.000 Because you know there's that there. 0:04:57.160 --> 0:05:00.080 You can like go and like check different words like 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:01.880 I don't want to see boobs or whatever it is. 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:06.520 I don't want to see newts. I just don't. I 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:07.800 that's just not my thing. 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:11.479 I want to see people smiling with their friends, with 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:15.200 their family, their hobbies, Like I definitely I'm not going 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:17.120 to be like, wow, I really want to have a 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:21.159 relationship with that person based on their man parts, Like, no, 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:22.760 that's not that's. 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.200 But there are people who are going to like that, right, 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.240 Like there are people that will respond and they're going 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:30.880 to love that function and that. 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.200 That's going to me the goods. 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:36.040 No, it's weeding out, in a way, the people that 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:39.200 you don't want to be communicating with versus the ones 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.159 that you do want to be in dialogue with. 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.679 I think that a lot of people do send nudes 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.039 so that they can kind of like be like, oh 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:48.200 my god, like look. 0:05:48.000 --> 0:05:49.440 At me, look at me, like kind of like a 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:54.239 you know, clickbait. But that still is not my vibe. 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:56.240 Like that would make me very uncomfortable. 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.240 And I would also think that the person wasn't serious 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.479 because all they wanted to do is just show me their. 0:06:01.320 --> 0:06:05.640 Package, like right, And there's a lot of that. Yes, 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:07.920 there is a lot of apps, so it's a good feature. 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:09.960 I think that. Look, I think if you read all 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:13.080 the articles, the world of dating apps is changing, right. 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:15.200 It just seems like the numbers are down. So I 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.600 think that in an effort to kind of get them 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:21.320 back and popular and more use it from me, they're 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:24.880 coming up with all of these different, you know, kind 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.680 of things that you can do to make it more 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:30.680 appetizing and to bring people back to it. 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:35.039 I love the way you just said that. I'm like, 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:37.680 I'm with her whatever Louise says, I'm with her. No, 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:38.359 but it's true. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:40.960 It's true that, you know, there has to be some 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:44.480 kind of something that's new to make people be like, Okay, 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.159 it's not so bad to be on a dating app. 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:50.880 But there's the stigma of dating apps is not what 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:51.440 it used to be. 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:55.400 I mean, everyone everyone's on dating apps, so you know 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:56.960 that's just not what it was. 0:06:57.200 --> 0:07:01.480 You know, did you watch the documentary Unwhitney, the person 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:05.200 who started a Bumble and started at Tinder that was 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:09.120 on I think it was on Hulu. You know, it's 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.760 really interesting. You should watch it, kind of like the 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:13.240 history of it and everything. 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:16.240 Yeah, well, I know a little bit of her background, 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:19.760 like because she was like in a very male dominated, 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:22.520 you know, universe, and she wanted the women to have control, 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:25.280 which I thought was very very cool. What I mean, 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.160 I just I just like the whole thing of like 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:31.560 these new words like cider, flashying, what it's going. 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:33.280 But I love it. I mean, look, even going back 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.960 to the word of ghosting. I mean, all these words crumb, 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:39.160 breadcrumbs or whatever they call them. I mean, it's all 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:42.080 these new words. I mean, we can't even you know. Oh, 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:44.600 there was a great one one of my friends taught 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:47.240 me the other day, a gray rock or something. I mean, 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.160 it's just I don't know, it has something to do 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:52.560 with I don't know, I'm gonna probably get this wrong. 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:55.640 And like almost like a friend zone no version. 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:58.640 Of like somebody's doing something that I'm not liking, something 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:00.880 going to gray rock them, which is basically like put 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.000 them on ice or something. I don't know. I didn't 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.480 retain it well, but it was the phrase gray rock, 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.840 and I guess we'll have to google that later. 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:11.480 So have you talked to your kids, because both of us, 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:13.200 you know, we have we have young adults. Have you 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:18.640 talked to your kids about this cyber flashing and nudes? 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:23.000 I actually haven't yet because I don't even, to be 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:25.400 honest with you, I don't know if my my guys 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:27.560 are on dating apps or not, because every time I 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:30.160 ask questions, they get so annoyed with me, and so 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:32.040 that their new line is we'll tell you when there's 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:34.840 something to tell you, and I'm like, okay, So I 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:37.760 like that. I don't know, I don't. I have no idea, 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:41.600 and you know, I know our Snapchat, I mean, I'm 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:42.040 not even. 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:42.800 They used to do it. 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:45.440 Like I remember my kids saying they were getting a 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:49.600 lot of you know, pictures on Snapchat. I mean, I 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:52.440 my kids, they're they just they're not like that. They're 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.679 they're they aren't. They're they're just not. They don't send 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:55.720 nudes and I know they don't. 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:58.600 Yeah, I mean, I've raised my kids differently, Like I've 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:00.760 never seen them get in a jam on any of 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:03.800 that stuff. So I don't know, though, I mean it's 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:05.720 not I think it's good to have this kind of 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:09.760 like ability, this like police concept to police that behavior 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:11.880 if somebody doesn't want it, and if somebody wants it, 0:09:11.880 --> 0:09:13.560 they can be like, hey, thumbs up, bring it. 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:15.679 Well, do you remember, just like I remember one time 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.040 as an arranger game and all of a sudden there 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:19.600 was a dick pic that just came on my phone 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:23.000 and I was with my oldest daughter at the time, 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.480 and I opened my phone and someone I think, I 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.640 don't know if it's through WhatsApp or someone just like 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:32.400 send me a picture and I was like, whoa, this 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:35.559 was not appropriate and it put me in I was 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.160 it was very uncomfortable, clearly, you know, I'm like at 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.920 a game with where people are there and then my 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:41.720 daughter was there. 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:46.000 Well, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I do think 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:49.400 the other app that we should go into is actually 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:53.720 really interesting, and so should we talk about that one? 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:56.160 Wait, but hold on, before we do, I just want 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:59.200 to tell you that I that I actually got a 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:04.080 dig pic from a guy where he used face tune. No, 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:10.160 we made his penis so long. I was like, I'm sorry, 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:14.880 is that like there's not like you know, like for 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:17.640 your lawn, more for your lawn, you know, to cut 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.680 your grass, Like what is that on in between your leg? 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:22.760 Oh? My God, I was telling. 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:24.600 I was like, is this for real? 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:28.160 No, seriously, no, Louise, it was just so long. I 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:30.840 mean the proportion of it was crazy, like. 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:32.960 I want that. That's not that's not even a fit. 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:36.240 I mean, could you imagine? I mean, honestly, I will 0:10:36.280 --> 0:10:38.400 tell you what to think. There is one thing that 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:42.240 we we a bunch of us discovered which was super fun, 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:46.680 which you could super impose your face onto this is 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:51.880 onto horn shots so for fun, which I am glad 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:53.559 we didn't get caught and I'm glad my kids never 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:56.719 saw us. We was like we could superimpose like our 0:10:56.800 --> 0:11:00.679 face from guy's face onto this like crazy like more 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:02.559 in section, and then we could send it to our 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:05.400 friends and it was like it looked really that was 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:07.600 that was actually fun to do. I'm glad I didn't 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:08.200 get caught on that. 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:10.520 This guy was just like vying for the cover of 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:11.960 the Big Penis Book, That's all he was. 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:14.000 But it was it real. 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.560 No, I'm like, whoa. 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:18.920 I was like, if that's your penis, we have a 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:24.040 serious issue, like that is disgusting. So yeah, let's let's 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:26.120 tell what's what are your thoughts on this? On this 0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:30.480 other new uh feature in dating apps. 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:34.480 Okay, so are we talking about Amata? Yeah, okay, I 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:35.520 think it's really interesting. 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:37.439 Well tell me what you think Amaa is first. 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:41.240 So, Amada is a new dating app that just launched 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:44.200 in the US this week, which it's basically using AI 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.120 right to kind of shake up the dating experience, you know, 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:52.640 so instead of like swiping through profiles, Amada has its 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:58.679 users chat with an AI matchmaker called Amata. They asked 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:03.040 very specific questions about dating preferences, goals, and then all 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:06.560 of a sudden they pitch you potential matches to go on. 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:06.800 Op. 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:11.200 I have to tell you I am the biggest AI 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:15.199 am obsessed with AI. So between quoting chat GPT and TikTok, 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:18.440 my friends want to hit me. But think about it, right, 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:21.280 I mean, it is the world. I mean I'm using 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:24.040 chat GPT for therapy now and it is dead on. 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:26.560 Wait, so you just go in there. You're like, what 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:28.440 happens when x oh? 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:32.319 I mean literally, if you sign up for the monthly 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:36.120 chat GPT, that thing gets to know you and I 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:39.560 do therapy on chat GPT. So if you were to 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.040 read like even based on what we were talking about 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.760 earlier with some of my attachment step if you were 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.640 to go into my AI and read it, it is 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.640 dead on. It will tell me why I'm reacting this way, 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:54.800 how to navigate it, what it's coming from, in my childhood. 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:59.240 So it knows me really, really really well. So think 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:04.880 about it and AI Matchmaker, it's dialed into what I'm 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:08.800 looking for and who I am, and then is having 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:14.599 the same conversations question asking and learning about somebody is 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:18.160 matching us. And then take it a step further. They're 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:20.800 going to set up the date for us, right, I mean, 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:22.840 I think I'm not on dating apps. I would go 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:23.720 on that dating app. 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:25.480 Well, it just takes so much fear out of it. 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:27.840 But I mean, I I'm on the fence about it 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.080 because on the one hand, I'm thinking to myself, like 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.360 it would be nice for someone else, like obviously you 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:35.080 know if you're if you're not, if your friends aren't 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:37.600 setting you up for someone else to be, Like an 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:40.920 AI who like knows you like you were saying, is saying. 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.880 Here are the things here, here are the things. 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.840 That that define you, and here's a guy that would 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:48.760 that would complement that that you may not be. You 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:50.920 may have overlooked if you were just looking at a 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.200 regular on a regular dating app. 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.600 So I kind I like that. I think that's good. 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:58.560 But setting up a date, I mean, I understand takes 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:00.840 the fear and the pressure out of it, but isn't 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:04.720 that the whole point of going on the date is 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.000 to like, oh my god, am I wearing the right outfit? 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:09.120 Do you think she's gonna like? Do you think she's 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:13.000 gonna like? Well, we're going like all the excitement? Are 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.280 we taking all the excitement out of dating? 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:20.880 Well? I think, first of all, an app is only 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:25.120 as good as the clients that are on it. Okay, 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:31.480 so let's assume that this app has amazing options on it, right, 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:36.400 That's the most important thing. So they match you with X, 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.200 and you guys are super excited. So when they're setting 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:41.800 up the date, how I read it was that they 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:46.960 were actually kind of setting up the time and the 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:49.000 meeting place and all of that. So I don't think 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:52.280 it eliminated the excitement, because I do think I agree 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.160 with you. Most of the exciting part about the date 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.440 is the anticipation that talking about it with your friends, 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.240 and the outfit and the FaceTime the app I et itself, 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:03.640 you know, eight times out of ten is a hard 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:05.560 pass right. You and I know we've been on a 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.680 million dates, so I think that still exists. The only 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:11.280 thing is I think they're just setting up, saying, Hey, Kelly, 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:13.400 you're going to meet so and so, you know at 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:15.080 stake forty eight at eight o'clock. 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:19.960 So is AI doing the matching and setting up? Is that? Okay? Like? 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:22.320 What do you like? What about people who are who 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:24.360 are now dating like on chatbots? 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:27.239 Forget like the you know, the voyeurism and the certain nodsion, 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:32.800 it's not like Actually, chat GPT. 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:34.400 Is like talking to the other person. This is what 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:36.160 you say you should say to the other person. 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.080 Well, okay, so let's be real. Like I will tell 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.760 you sometimes if I'm having an issue with somebody in 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:47.000 my life or friend, I will ask chat GPTs some 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:49.280 of the bullet points I should bring up. And I 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:51.800 sit with my computer in front of me when I'm 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:55.840 having my conversation, and I will reference my notes on 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.280 chat GPT. So I will tell. 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.000 You it's that's so small. 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:02.360 It's actually you should try it, Like. 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:03.480 You shouldn't definitely try. 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:05.680 I think if it's an issue, even if it's something 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:07.600 let's say, you want to talk to your client about 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.440 reducing the price of that you're listing that isn't selling. 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.440 It will help you have that really challenging conversation in 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:17.560 an incredibly eloquent way. 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:20.840 Right and perfection way. Yeah, I like that. That's a 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:33.080 good idea. What about with housewives? What am I supposed 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:38.560 to do? Be like, hey, Luan, No, like, I really 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:40.160 don't like it when you talk to me like that. 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:43.360 No, but but exactly Okay, So think about it even 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:47.360 on dating, right, So supposing you're going to react always 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.400 the same way and it just comes out. What this 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:54.520 does is it gives you an organized framework of the 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:57.680 bullet points and the thoughts that you want to get across. 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.560 So it kind of keeps you on target's right. 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:01.680 I think you're the point. 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:05.639 It'd around a lot more on a chat GPT because 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:09.000 I think it's pretty incredible. So back to the dating thing. 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:11.919 Think about it, so you fill out kind of what 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:14.479 you're looking for, who you are, what your core value 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:16.919 system is, what you like, what you don't like, the 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.159 same time, the guy hopefully is filling out all the 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:23.720 same stuff. Boom, boom, boom. Computers swirl around, boom, it's 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:27.560 a match. Instead of swiping, swiping, swiping, so then they 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:29.679 match you and you're chatting a little bit, and then 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:33.040 you're like, okay, this, let's try this. Let's go out 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.479 and see if it Wouldn't it be amazing if it was. 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.120 And you know, it's also interesting just listening to you 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:39.840 kind of talk through that, is. 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:43.719 That sometimes these guys on these apps, the way they 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.399 present themselves, you're like, and then you meet them and 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:46.800 you're like. 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:50.840 Wait, not so much. It's that it's catfishing. It's just 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:51.520 that they just. 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:54.359 Don't know how to present themselves. And if it's like 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:58.800 a professional headshot from like where you work, it just 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:02.000 doesn't resonate. It doesn't resonate like and it's just like 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:05.440 if you if I had pictures of me modeling on 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:07.800 my on mind, people would be like, I'm sorry, what's 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:08.160 going on? 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:10.359 Well, I think there's a lot of fabric I mean 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:12.280 there's a lot of yeah, but I also think there's 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.680 a lot of fabrication. Like we all know somebody who 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:18.200 says they're sixty five sixty is really sixty five. Somebody 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:20.560 who says they're five tens really five eight, right, or 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:24.439 somebody people lie about the agent. So I don't like that, 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:26.880 Like I think right out of the gate, you have 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:30.399 to be you know, kind of honest. That's my feeling. 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:33.080 Wait, let's talk about that, because that's called there's there's 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:34.200 a word for it. 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:35.320 It's called biobeting. 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:38.639 By the way, another great word, another great word word. 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:41.199 It's like uber ways tender. I mean, it's part of 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:42.040 our dictionary. 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:47.800 Now, biobating, biobating, I know exactly ghosting, grey walling or whatever, 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:48.680 stonewalling or whatever. 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:51.159 It's grey rock, gray rock, I got it. 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:53.119 But yeah, I remember that because it remind me of 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.240 like bottle rock. Okay, something like bottle rock, cool vibes, 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:56.760 gray rock. 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:59.160 I'm going to give you an assignment when we get off, 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.639 go on to chatty Bet and say, what's the definition 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:04.520 of gray rocking. You gotta do it. 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:06.080 I'm going to of course, I'm going to. 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:06.560 Yeah. 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:09.159 I love talking to you. I mean just I just 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:10.760 get a lot easy. 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:11.160 You are. 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.720 You're just well, but you're also very smart. So it's 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:15.960 just like I'm super interested and always what you have 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:19.640 to say. So, okay, the biobating. So would you would 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:20.720 you change your age? 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:22.879 No? I don't let me tell you what I do. Okay, 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:23.920 people know my age. 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:26.119 I'm just google me, I'm fifty seven. Like it's not 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:28.320 some big, big like mystery, but. 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:30.600 It's it's more than that. Like what about if I'm 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:34.600 like I hell ski bullshit? Can you imagine we start 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:38.200 dating this guy's I booked our first trip. We're hell eski. Oh, 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:40.600 I don't know how to hell skip what? Like you 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:44.120 can't right? And people lie about big Oh? I love 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:46.159 to hike. Well, I can't hike the pills. I have 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:49.399 a torn meniscus. How's that possible? But so what I 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:52.680 do is right out of the gate. I am exactly 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:54.399 who I am. So I say, I just want to 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:57.879 manage your expectations right now. I don't cook. If you 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:00.240 were looking for Susie homemaker, who's gonna whip up a 0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:04.240 gourmet meal, that's not me, right right? So I do 0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:08.120 the opposite of biobeting. I just put all the unsavory 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:11.400 things about me right out there and say, hey, love 0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:13.320 me for who I am. We can go out again 0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:15.560 or we don't. But what you see is what you get. 0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:19.160 I really love that about you know that these guys 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.520 are probably like, she's so hot, it's fine. Resignations, We're fine, 0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:26.720 We're fine. So I wrote a book called The Dangerous 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:30.959 Age of Novel, which was about me as an editor 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:35.520 and you know, starting off in New York. And my 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:37.840 my editor was like, I really at the time, I 0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:39.240 was single, and she was like, I really want you 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:40.439 to go on dating apps. 0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:42.680 ID. This is like I' like ten years ago. I'm like, 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:43.959 I don't even know what this is. 0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:47.760 And so I went on a dating app and it 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:49.360 put my night, my my. 0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:54.679 It put my age as ten years younger. 0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:58.560 It was on what was it called Bumble Bumble. I 0:20:58.600 --> 0:20:59.920 put my age is ten years. 0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:03.600 Younger, automatically, like you put in your age and it already. 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:05.000 My age or whatever. 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:07.080 I was like, you know, in my forties, but my age, 0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:10.800 and it changed it to my thirties, which I wasn't 0:21:10.960 --> 0:21:11.840 I wasn't mad at. 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:15.520 No I get it. But that's so interesting, I know. 0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:20.479 And sometimes Hinge does that Toohnjell just is Hanje'll give 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.040 you a different age too. Some people just put it 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:23.960 in a different age. 0:21:24.160 --> 0:21:26.639 Well how about this. This is really funny. So I 0:21:26.680 --> 0:21:30.119 don't I don't do dating apps, but I have a 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:34.000 lot of friends where I ghost date app for them. 0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:38.280 So this is really interesting because I will, like some 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:39.880 of my friends just don't want to do it, So 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:43.440 I'm doing the dating for them on their dating app, 0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:46.840 But sometimes I'm answering questions as if it's me so 0:21:47.000 --> 0:21:49.919 stupid thing like oh yeah, I love coffee, you know, 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:53.400 And then my friend then once it looks like it's 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:56.840 a match, then I will give her phone number to 0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:58.560 the guy, and then they'll be on the phone and 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:01.120 something random will be like you love coffee, Like what's 0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:04.000 your favorite coffee shop in LA? And she's texted me 0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:06.320 saying I don't drink coffee. Ding Do you know what 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.640 I'm saying, Like I've never had coffee in my life, right, 0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:10.800 So I think that's a version of I guess it's 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:14.880 a version of biobating to the worst degree because they 0:22:14.920 --> 0:22:17.480 think they're going on a date with her, but really there, 0:22:17.520 --> 0:22:19.080 I guess they're going on a date with me. We 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:21.080 got to come up with a word for that. Yeah, 0:22:21.119 --> 0:22:22.119 that's a bait and switch. 0:22:22.560 --> 0:22:24.800 That's a bait and switch. That is a bait and switch. 0:22:25.160 --> 0:22:27.200 Yes, well we'll think about that. 0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:27.960 Well. 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:30.239 You know, it's interesting because my ex fiance I met 0:22:30.320 --> 0:22:34.439 him on hinge and he and my assistant was the 0:22:34.440 --> 0:22:36.320 one that was like, I want you to meet someone 0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:38.439 that's Jewish. I want you to meet someone that's in, 0:22:38.960 --> 0:22:41.800 you know, in that has a has a consistent job. 0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:46.119 And he was the one that put me on the 0:22:46.200 --> 0:22:48.680 dating app and he put me in his ten years 0:22:48.720 --> 0:22:50.719 younger too, and I was like, oh my god. So 0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:54.199 when I met my ex fiancee, he's like, oh, he's like, 0:22:54.280 --> 0:22:59.400 you're so young, and I'm like yeah, I was actually 0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:01.160 like I was, actually you're older than him. 0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:05.719 Look, I think the age fudge is not as offensive 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:08.000 as like other things, right right, I. 0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:09.880 Mean I think that's like kind of like a white line. 0:23:09.960 --> 0:23:11.520 It's not that big of a deal. I mean for 0:23:11.640 --> 0:23:14.040 some people, like if you're trying to come off as 0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:17.560 like thirty and you're in your mid forties, that's weird. 0:23:17.880 --> 0:23:20.280 But like a couple of years, like who cares botox, 0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:21.000 it kind of work. 0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:23.479 Yeah, opens up your range. It's like when you're pricing 0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:26.080 a house, are you pricing it at ten, nine ninety 0:23:26.080 --> 0:23:27.440 five or eleven? 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:27.760 Right? 0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:30.639 You want to get both sides of the buyer pool. 0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:36.040 But I think bigger things like saying you're divorced when 0:23:36.040 --> 0:23:38.400 you're just separated, that's a big deal. 0:23:38.600 --> 0:23:40.400 That's I know, that's unacceptable. 0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:43.480 That is like but like fudging on your age a 0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:46.000 little bit. Like it's also super hard to tell how 0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:46.960 old people are too. 0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:51.000 Well, you look sixteen, I mean you look sixteen, but 0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:53.840 in you're you're in your fifties. But I agree with you, 0:23:54.720 --> 0:23:56.800 some people look really good for their age, but I 0:23:56.800 --> 0:23:59.960 think putting up pictures from twenty years ago that's not okay. 0:24:00.000 --> 0:24:02.280 And then you show up at the date and you're like, wait, 0:24:02.320 --> 0:24:04.000 where are you? Oh? Is that your dad? 0:24:04.200 --> 0:24:08.040 Like you know what I'm saying, I totally agree, I 0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:10.639 totally agree. I'm like, so I'm like we're both on 0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:11.440 the same. 0:24:11.200 --> 0:24:13.840 Page where we both like are okay with the age, 0:24:13.920 --> 0:24:16.600 but like all the other nonsense, like if you have 0:24:16.680 --> 0:24:19.560 to be truthful because like again, like someone's like, okay, 0:24:19.600 --> 0:24:21.880 I'm super excited I'm meeting someone and then they're like, 0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:24.800 like you said, like someone's super athletic, and the other 0:24:24.840 --> 0:24:26.480 person's like, I hate sports. 0:24:26.720 --> 0:24:27.719 I am You know. 0:24:28.359 --> 0:24:31.800 That may work, but typically people want to be around 0:24:31.880 --> 0:24:33.639 like like minded I mean, I don't fun. 0:24:33.800 --> 0:24:36.120 You have to have similar interests, right, So if you're 0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:37.960 right out of the gate saying you love certain things 0:24:38.000 --> 0:24:40.880 that you hate and then you're dating, they're like, oh yeah, 0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:44.280 like let's go to the you know, championship this or 0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:47.320 the you know, the national or whatever, and then you're like, oh, 0:24:47.359 --> 0:24:51.040 I hate football, right, it doesn't work. You know. Look, 0:24:51.119 --> 0:24:55.640 I will say overall, it's it's it's such a bummer 0:24:55.920 --> 0:25:00.280 like gone or the days of people meeting out like 0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:04.359 normal or have me How rare is it now sitting 0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:07.119 at a table and you know, just meeting people like 0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:09.040 we did back in the day. I mean, these phones 0:25:09.040 --> 0:25:11.800 have destroyed everything, right. 0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:14.560 You know. Also, what I was just thinking about with 0:25:14.600 --> 0:25:18.000 the biobating is just like trust is such a big thing, 0:25:18.200 --> 0:25:21.159 especially for me, just because I've had I've lived. 0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:22.760 A life of like so much. 0:25:23.320 --> 0:25:26.280 You know, I did not trust any male that I've 0:25:26.359 --> 0:25:30.600 ever been with for obvious reasons for infidelity you know, X, 0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:34.639 Y and Z whatever, and so that's just such a 0:25:34.640 --> 0:25:37.479 big deal. So I think that like the age thing 0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:40.400 doesn't bother me, but everything else, Like if you're it's 0:25:40.440 --> 0:25:44.280 like it's like, if you're going to start lying about 0:25:44.640 --> 0:25:46.600 little things, what about the big things? 0:25:46.720 --> 0:25:47.240 Do you know what I mean? 0:25:47.320 --> 0:25:48.800 Like all of a sudden, like it's just like you're 0:25:48.840 --> 0:25:50.880 just like, oh, it doesn't matter, it's just a lie. 0:25:51.160 --> 0:25:51.840 It matters it. 0:25:51.880 --> 0:25:54.760 Matters, It matters. It's a gateway just to you know, 0:25:54.920 --> 0:25:58.200 kind of, it's a it's a gateway to keep you lying. 0:25:58.359 --> 0:26:00.439 And you know, I'm always trying to teach my children 0:26:00.560 --> 0:26:04.440 like lying to get what you want is not strength, 0:26:04.640 --> 0:26:08.320 it's weakness. Right, you're a dishonest person and you put 0:26:08.320 --> 0:26:10.360 your head on your pillow at night and you're okay 0:26:10.400 --> 0:26:13.840 being left of center and not honest, Like that's just 0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:15.760 that's just who you are. And if you start a 0:26:15.840 --> 0:26:18.359 relationship and a lie, then you're just going to continue 0:26:18.400 --> 0:26:22.000 to lie. It's like who are you? Right? So that's 0:26:22.040 --> 0:26:24.360 why I say I don't cook right out of the gate. 0:26:24.840 --> 0:26:27.720 I'm fun at the table and I'm fun with a cocktail, 0:26:27.760 --> 0:26:29.159 and I love to go out and eat. But I 0:26:29.200 --> 0:26:32.480 will never, never, ever ever be able to even I 0:26:32.520 --> 0:26:35.160 can't eveigure out how to cut an avocado. I bought 0:26:35.160 --> 0:26:37.680 the thing, like you know that, I still can't do it. 0:26:47.880 --> 0:26:49.840 Let's get into the news. 0:26:49.520 --> 0:26:53.320 Oh my god, so sad every day. People split out 0:26:53.359 --> 0:26:56.400 every day every day. And you know what I don't 0:26:56.400 --> 0:26:59.600 know about you. My kids are so desensitized on it. 0:26:59.640 --> 0:27:02.159 Like when I stated, oh, this friend is getting divorced, 0:27:02.160 --> 0:27:04.520 they look at me, they go, doesn't everybody get divorced? 0:27:04.520 --> 0:27:08.240 It's like, no, no, I never wanted to get divorced. 0:27:08.280 --> 0:27:10.560 I mean from my ex husband. I stayed and stayed 0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:15.600 and stayed and stayed and stayed until I was like, I. 0:27:14.240 --> 0:27:17.000 I know, it's so sad. It's just this world, it's 0:27:17.040 --> 0:27:19.280 just so And there was a lot of big ones 0:27:19.320 --> 0:27:23.719 this week. I mean I was surprised by the Nicole kidman. 0:27:24.240 --> 0:27:25.240 So was I. 0:27:25.240 --> 0:27:28.160 I thought they looked really happy. So I guess, don't 0:27:28.240 --> 0:27:30.399 judge a book by its cover. I'm a sucker for that. 0:27:30.440 --> 0:27:31.760 But then I do look at Instagram. 0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:34.760 But they've been together, they've been together for so long, 0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:39.480 and they've been together through so much. Like I just think, 0:27:40.200 --> 0:27:45.199 you know, these long marriages are being you know, literally challenged, 0:27:45.440 --> 0:27:48.920 and you know, are we supposed to be only like five? 0:27:49.440 --> 0:27:51.359 Are the relationships like supposed to be five to ten, 0:27:51.640 --> 0:27:55.560 you know, five to seven years? Like are long relationships over? 0:27:56.080 --> 0:27:56.159 Like? 0:27:56.280 --> 0:27:58.600 I don't want to have a short relationship. My next 0:27:58.880 --> 0:28:00.520 my relationship am I relationship? 0:28:00.560 --> 0:28:02.040 I want to be in it forever. 0:28:02.200 --> 0:28:05.359 I'm tired of like meeting people and like going in 0:28:05.400 --> 0:28:06.520 and out of relationships. 0:28:06.560 --> 0:28:07.200 I don't want that. 0:28:07.600 --> 0:28:09.399 So I think if you if you look at the 0:28:09.440 --> 0:28:12.200 history of like a lot of these long marriages right now, 0:28:12.480 --> 0:28:18.160 they have covered a lot of things, having children, raising children, 0:28:18.520 --> 0:28:22.359 there's been financial you know, navigating careers all that. That's 0:28:22.400 --> 0:28:25.720 a lot, right, That's a lot of texture to a relationship. 0:28:26.119 --> 0:28:28.800 And what we see a lot is and I'm not 0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:31.000 sure of the exact ages of their kids. As you 0:28:31.040 --> 0:28:33.000 see when the kids get old and go to college, 0:28:33.160 --> 0:28:38.000 there's no blue left and people just go their way, 0:28:38.280 --> 0:28:40.640 or you say to yourself, we've made it this far, 0:28:41.560 --> 0:28:45.360 we should just keep on ongoing. But I think for me, 0:28:45.480 --> 0:28:49.000 it's funny. I think I don't know, I have a 0:28:49.000 --> 0:28:51.720 lot of fear about a second marriage because they just 0:28:51.960 --> 0:28:55.520 statistics say that if you've been divorced once, it's pretty 0:28:55.560 --> 0:28:59.360 easy to throw the towel in a second time. And 0:28:59.560 --> 0:29:02.120 here's the bigger issue. I don't know about you. But 0:29:03.000 --> 0:29:04.880 and there's a whole we should do a whole other 0:29:04.960 --> 0:29:08.400 conversation on there's a new type of relationship. There's two 0:29:08.480 --> 0:29:10.680 new type of relationships. But one is I think it's 0:29:10.720 --> 0:29:15.440 called LT eight. It's like married but living apart, right, 0:29:15.720 --> 0:29:18.440 which yeah, kind of interesting. I mean, if you've been 0:29:18.480 --> 0:29:21.400 divorced many years, and you've got used to kind of 0:29:21.440 --> 0:29:23.960 sleeping in your own bed and doing your own thing 0:29:24.040 --> 0:29:26.400 and putting on your own TV shows and all that. Like, 0:29:26.720 --> 0:29:28.960 I don't know, that's kind of hard to then get 0:29:29.000 --> 0:29:33.960 back into a twenty four to seven thing. So when 0:29:34.000 --> 0:29:37.280 you hear about the like part time living together and 0:29:37.360 --> 0:29:41.320 part time not, I think it's I think it's interesting. 0:29:41.480 --> 0:29:41.880 I don't know. 0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:44.600 I think Judith Light she does that. But you know, 0:29:46.360 --> 0:29:48.440 what's the point of being married to someone if you're 0:29:48.440 --> 0:29:49.240 going to be living. 0:29:49.000 --> 0:29:52.040 Apart not all the time? I think I think half 0:29:52.080 --> 0:29:52.920 the week. 0:29:53.240 --> 0:29:55.520 Right, But like my parents, I remember, like when we 0:29:55.560 --> 0:29:59.240 all left or somewhere, were three from Illinois and where 0:29:59.280 --> 0:30:01.800 we all left my they're just traveled with my dad everywhere. 0:30:02.680 --> 0:30:05.080 She just went on every single trip with him, and 0:30:05.120 --> 0:30:07.720 that's how they maintained that stickiness. 0:30:08.160 --> 0:30:10.400 Or when you don't see somebody all the time, there's 0:30:10.400 --> 0:30:11.680 an excitement. 0:30:11.560 --> 0:30:15.280 Right, But not if you've been married fifty No, no. 0:30:15.240 --> 0:30:18.040 I understand. But I'm talking about in this in this 0:30:18.160 --> 0:30:22.120 new kind of world of so much divorce, I mean, good, 0:30:22.120 --> 0:30:24.200 what is it eighty percent or seventy percent of the 0:30:24.240 --> 0:30:28.160 people are divorced, right, and say to yourself on your 0:30:28.960 --> 0:30:30.560 you know, I don't know about you, but like, I 0:30:30.600 --> 0:30:37.480 have a very big life in terms of friends, career, independence, kids. 0:30:37.600 --> 0:30:41.160 You know, a relationship is one slice of the cake, 0:30:41.400 --> 0:30:43.719 whereas back in the day it was our whole world, 0:30:44.000 --> 0:30:47.560 right right, So I don't know how easy it will 0:30:47.600 --> 0:30:50.160 be for me just to be like all in twenty 0:30:50.200 --> 0:30:53.600 four seven when I haven't worked that muscle for so 0:30:53.800 --> 0:30:57.080 long like that, and I still enjoy my girls' dinners 0:30:57.120 --> 0:30:58.960 and my this and my dad. So I don't know 0:30:59.040 --> 0:31:01.880 if I'm the twenty four or seven person. What about 0:31:01.920 --> 0:31:05.160 you when you get back into a significant relationship. 0:31:05.760 --> 0:31:09.760 So, because I've been you know, on my own, raising 0:31:09.760 --> 0:31:13.040 my kids for so long and wearing, you know, for 0:31:13.160 --> 0:31:17.360 being the provider and being the nurturer, I am really 0:31:17.440 --> 0:31:20.200 looking for now that my kids are older, Like, I 0:31:21.600 --> 0:31:25.040 feel so much better about myself. I am more curious 0:31:25.160 --> 0:31:27.440 and more interested in people. 0:31:28.400 --> 0:31:29.760 And you know, before I was. 0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:32.040 Just working and I was I never even asked people 0:31:32.040 --> 0:31:34.440 how they were. It just didn't or if I did, 0:31:34.520 --> 0:31:36.280 it was like a throwaway, like how are you? 0:31:36.760 --> 0:31:38.880 Not? Like now I'm like, hey, how are you? 0:31:39.760 --> 0:31:44.400 I'm just more interested in hearing about what's happening in 0:31:44.440 --> 0:31:48.160 my friends' lives, and you know, obviously very connected to 0:31:48.200 --> 0:31:49.160 my girls. 0:31:49.360 --> 0:31:54.600 And so I really I know that my next marriage 0:31:54.680 --> 0:31:58.160 is going to be the one. 0:31:57.280 --> 0:31:59.640 I also never I know this this sounds really weird, 0:31:59.680 --> 0:32:03.320 but like I've never been in love ever. 0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:04.800 I have like the worst. 0:32:04.840 --> 0:32:09.760 I have such such serious trust issues that I'm always 0:32:09.920 --> 0:32:13.560 like I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. 0:32:13.800 --> 0:32:15.800 Even in high school and college. 0:32:16.600 --> 0:32:18.200 Well, I mean when I was in high school, I 0:32:18.240 --> 0:32:20.520 was modeling and going to going to and going to 0:32:20.560 --> 0:32:22.520 school like I was you know, I started model when 0:32:22.520 --> 0:32:23.120 I was fifteen. 0:32:23.800 --> 0:32:25.880 So I had like guys that were fun and cute, 0:32:25.880 --> 0:32:28.080 but I wasn't like in love with them. 0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:30.720 I wasn't I mean, i'd puppy love, but I wasn't like, 0:32:30.880 --> 0:32:32.440 oh my god, I can't live without this person. 0:32:32.880 --> 0:32:36.040 Well, when you fall in love cookie you are, it's 0:32:36.080 --> 0:32:38.520 going to knock you off your you know, it's the 0:32:38.560 --> 0:32:41.160 best feeling in the world. It's like the greatest drug. 0:32:41.800 --> 0:32:46.120 Yeah, well I hope. Well I'm looking for it. That's 0:32:46.120 --> 0:32:46.480 not true. 0:32:46.520 --> 0:32:49.600 I'm not looking for love, but I am definitely open 0:32:49.760 --> 0:32:52.520 to being in love with someone. Yes, So do you 0:32:52.520 --> 0:32:56.320 think that Lori Lachlin and Massimo. I'm going to butcher 0:32:56.360 --> 0:33:01.240 his name Guillannuli. I mean, it's been twenty eight years. 0:33:01.280 --> 0:33:02.640 Do you think that there Do you think this is 0:33:02.720 --> 0:33:06.240 just going to be like a little pause or do 0:33:06.320 --> 0:33:08.640 you think do you think that they're going to get 0:33:08.680 --> 0:33:09.120 back together? 0:33:09.200 --> 0:33:10.280 What are your thoughts? 0:33:11.400 --> 0:33:14.920 I hope they get back together. It makes me very 0:33:15.040 --> 0:33:19.800 very sad. I think they've weathered some stuff, and I 0:33:19.840 --> 0:33:23.880 think that they were, you know, partners on some important things, 0:33:23.920 --> 0:33:27.360 and so I was very sad when I read about that. 0:33:28.520 --> 0:33:31.520 I mean, just People magazine says that they've been married 0:33:31.520 --> 0:33:34.640 for twenty eight years. They're living apart, taking a break 0:33:34.640 --> 0:33:38.280 from their marriage. There's no legal proceedings at this time. 0:33:38.600 --> 0:33:41.360 The split comes after the full house Alam and her 0:33:41.520 --> 0:33:45.120 estrange husband listed there eleven eight hundred square foot match 0:33:45.200 --> 0:33:47.920 I hope you were representing that property in Hidden Hills 0:33:47.960 --> 0:33:51.640 for sixteen point five million. The couple purchased it for 0:33:51.800 --> 0:33:56.520 nine Laurie and her husband Masimo pleaded guilty to wire 0:33:56.640 --> 0:33:59.640 fraud and mail fraud, and we're accused of paining five 0:33:59.680 --> 0:34:04.920 from the knowledge for their daughters Olivia, Jade and Isabella Rose. 0:34:05.920 --> 0:34:10.200 Admission to USC and they were Finally, they were falsely 0:34:10.239 --> 0:34:13.560 designated as recruits to the university crew team, even though 0:34:13.560 --> 0:34:16.719 they never participated in these sports, and so Lachlan was 0:34:16.760 --> 0:34:21.000 sentenced to two months in federal prison, while her husband 0:34:21.000 --> 0:34:24.160 received a five month sentence in August of the same year. 0:34:24.280 --> 0:34:28.320 Like how do you go from all of that drama? 0:34:28.400 --> 0:34:30.720 Which is like that that's not like made for TV movie, 0:34:30.760 --> 0:34:34.880 that's like real life bad news Bears, Like how do 0:34:34.920 --> 0:34:36.239 you how do you come back from that? 0:34:36.760 --> 0:34:37.000 Well? 0:34:37.080 --> 0:34:41.200 I kind of look at it like they were partners, 0:34:41.239 --> 0:34:44.560 like Bonnie and Clyde, No decided that, Like I think 0:34:44.600 --> 0:34:47.600 that is that is something that they as a family, right, 0:34:47.760 --> 0:34:51.920 And it's kind of like God forbid, like a couple 0:34:51.960 --> 0:34:55.040 that experiences the death of a child, like that is 0:34:55.520 --> 0:34:57.719 between the that's the two of them, Like it either 0:34:57.760 --> 0:35:00.680 makes you or break to you, they say, Right, I 0:35:00.680 --> 0:35:03.600 think this is at that level. I mean, that's a 0:35:03.800 --> 0:35:09.040 that's a very significant, pivotal, life changing type of a situation. 0:35:09.360 --> 0:35:12.560 And I think I would have looked at it like 0:35:12.920 --> 0:35:16.400 only the two of them, you know, could understand that 0:35:16.600 --> 0:35:19.400 and experience that all of it, even you know, going 0:35:19.560 --> 0:35:21.799 to you know, into the jail tem Like I think 0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:25.120 that would have been like cement, like permanent glue, cement 0:35:26.000 --> 0:35:29.680 to have kept them together. I was very surprised, and 0:35:29.719 --> 0:35:31.960 I was sad about that. I mean, they did their time, 0:35:32.680 --> 0:35:35.880 they did so I don't know, I just I was 0:35:35.920 --> 0:35:36.840 sad about them. 0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:40.239 I guess, like my thought is, after you've been through 0:35:40.320 --> 0:35:45.560 all these different things that are so public and awful 0:35:46.400 --> 0:35:51.160 and you know, really ruined their family culture, is going 0:35:51.200 --> 0:35:51.960 on pause? 0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:55.680 Is that something that is good for the dynamic? 0:35:55.800 --> 0:35:57.719 I mean, I feel like if you're in a situation 0:35:57.880 --> 0:35:59.960 like that, going on pause is just going to be like, 0:36:00.320 --> 0:36:04.200 so now you've you know, you've you've done horrible things 0:36:04.239 --> 0:36:06.279 for your children, You've both have been in prison, you've 0:36:06.280 --> 0:36:09.120 done wirefraud, all these different things, and now you're going 0:36:09.200 --> 0:36:11.359 to separate, and you're going to be like he's going 0:36:11.400 --> 0:36:13.720 to be dating this person, You're gonna be dating that person. 0:36:13.880 --> 0:36:15.560 How do you get back? How do you where do 0:36:15.600 --> 0:36:17.319 you go from there? You know? 0:36:17.400 --> 0:36:21.520 I think sometimes there's enough history and texture with two 0:36:21.560 --> 0:36:24.360 people that they might take a break and then ultimately 0:36:24.960 --> 0:36:27.960 seen people circle back to each other. Maybe they just 0:36:28.000 --> 0:36:31.960 need that pause to kind of get regrouped and then 0:36:32.680 --> 0:36:35.840 kind of circle back. Now I've seen marriages. People split 0:36:35.920 --> 0:36:38.720 up and then they get back together and they reconcile 0:36:38.840 --> 0:36:40.960 me and look at you know, Ben Stiller and his 0:36:41.040 --> 0:36:44.960 wife and it happens. I mean it's interesting. Like I 0:36:45.000 --> 0:36:46.960 think my kids would like flip their shit if all 0:36:46.960 --> 0:36:48.520 of a sudden we got back together. I mean, I 0:36:48.640 --> 0:36:50.160 just think that they would think it was the worst 0:36:50.160 --> 0:36:53.239 thing in the world. But you know, people have done it, right. 0:36:53.320 --> 0:36:55.239 I mean, first of all, it's not easy out there. 0:36:55.320 --> 0:36:58.080 Let's be real. I mean, I mean it's not easy 0:36:58.080 --> 0:37:01.759 out you know, and it's slim pickings and there's you know, 0:37:01.880 --> 0:37:06.000 breadcrumbs of stuff terrible. So sometimes you know, it's like 0:37:06.040 --> 0:37:07.960 the devil you know, is better than the devil you 0:37:07.960 --> 0:37:11.080 don't know, or having some devil. Some people just want somebody. 0:37:11.040 --> 0:37:13.280 Right, just give me a devil. 0:37:13.560 --> 0:37:15.680 Yeah, you go back to the rear view and you're like, okay, 0:37:15.719 --> 0:37:19.239 it's good enough, right. I mean, there are so few 0:37:19.320 --> 0:37:21.799 unicorns out there, and there's I mean, is there any 0:37:21.920 --> 0:37:26.560 unicorn relationship? No, there's not. I mean, bad stuff happens, 0:37:27.040 --> 0:37:30.400 it's just not the other shoe drops. It does. It 0:37:30.480 --> 0:37:33.120 always does. Now you can pick it up, or you 0:37:33.120 --> 0:37:36.359 can put on a different shoe or right, But at 0:37:36.360 --> 0:37:38.440 the end of the day, like it's just what happens. 0:37:38.719 --> 0:37:40.719 I mean, like we went to back to what I 0:37:40.760 --> 0:37:42.840 was talking before. I could just never do that. And 0:37:42.960 --> 0:37:46.359 is in a relationship because trust is everything. I have 0:37:46.440 --> 0:37:48.320 to be able to trust that person one hundred percent. 0:37:49.480 --> 0:37:52.040 Okay, so me too. So that's that's an issue. That's 0:37:52.040 --> 0:37:53.600 an issue for me. Probably a lot of where my 0:37:53.680 --> 0:37:57.279 avoidance stuff comes that. I will very early on on 0:37:57.320 --> 0:38:02.239 a date or in dating say you did you did 0:38:02.280 --> 0:38:04.400 you cheat on your wife? Have you ever cheated before? 0:38:04.840 --> 0:38:06.520 And if they say yes, I will not go out 0:38:06.520 --> 0:38:08.880 with them again because I think once a cheater, always 0:38:08.880 --> 0:38:11.040 a cheater. I love dating on a guy, dating a 0:38:11.040 --> 0:38:13.200 guy who's been cheated on because they know what it's 0:38:13.320 --> 0:38:16.120 like and they and so to me, when I hear that, 0:38:16.200 --> 0:38:19.640 I'm like, yes, you're my guy, right, but I have 0:38:19.840 --> 0:38:25.319 seen cheating firsthand and it doesn't stop. And you take 0:38:25.400 --> 0:38:28.400 your cheating guy back once, it's a license to continue 0:38:28.520 --> 0:38:29.720 to do it period. 0:38:30.280 --> 0:38:32.720 Right, you just said like, here's carpe blanche, go ahead, 0:38:32.800 --> 0:38:33.319 keep doing it. 0:38:33.680 --> 0:38:37.120 I'm okay, yeah, And so I'm with I'm with you 0:38:37.160 --> 0:38:39.840 on I'm with you on that. The cheating is my 0:38:41.360 --> 0:38:44.920 kind of hot button, huge, huge red flag. It's like 0:38:45.160 --> 0:38:47.120 stop in the track, that's a stop sign. 0:38:47.760 --> 0:38:50.680 So what about Keith Urban and you think those guys 0:38:50.719 --> 0:38:53.040 are going to get back? I don't know. 0:38:53.239 --> 0:38:58.040 I mean I think that there's a better chance of 0:38:59.120 --> 0:39:04.000 LORII and Massa than I do with Keith and Nicole. 0:39:04.160 --> 0:39:06.200 I think that was probably in the works for a 0:39:06.239 --> 0:39:10.000 long time, and then they just kind of made the announcement, 0:39:10.080 --> 0:39:12.160 Like didn't some of the articles say they were already 0:39:12.280 --> 0:39:17.319 living separate lives and keep dating and all of that stuff. Yeah, right, then. 0:39:17.280 --> 0:39:18.360 It's been settled, I know. 0:39:18.480 --> 0:39:20.080 But do you think they're going to get back together 0:39:20.120 --> 0:39:22.160 because they've been together for so long? 0:39:22.840 --> 0:39:25.440 I don't know, because for so potentially they were living 0:39:25.440 --> 0:39:28.000 probably more separate lives even when we thought they were 0:39:28.000 --> 0:39:30.040 in their hated right, Like they're on movie sets and 0:39:30.360 --> 0:39:32.840 music tours and you know a lot of that stuff 0:39:32.840 --> 0:39:36.000 which creates kind of distance. I think that's a little 0:39:36.000 --> 0:39:40.640 different than the people that are more in the day 0:39:40.680 --> 0:39:44.960 to day weeds and navigating you know, life and kids 0:39:45.000 --> 0:39:47.880 and money and all that stuff like together. 0:39:47.880 --> 0:39:49.080 I think it'd be so hard to be in a 0:39:49.160 --> 0:39:53.160 relationship like that, where you're with someone that's one reason 0:39:53.160 --> 0:39:56.080 why I'm not interested in dating anyone that's famous, because 0:39:56.400 --> 0:39:58.719 I don't want to be like, left for three months 0:39:58.920 --> 0:40:00.959 four months while they, you know, filming movie. 0:40:01.000 --> 0:40:01.839 I just couldn't do that. 0:40:01.920 --> 0:40:04.840 Well, that's your trust issue, though. What about what about 0:40:04.840 --> 0:40:07.320 long because you'd be worried about their relationships with the coastar, 0:40:07.520 --> 0:40:09.600 which I get I would too, write what about a 0:40:09.600 --> 0:40:11.520 long distance relationship? Would you do that? 0:40:11.800 --> 0:40:13.400 Well, I'm kind of in that right now. 0:40:13.680 --> 0:40:14.920 Oh do tell. 0:40:15.239 --> 0:40:17.640 Yeah, so you know he lives in a different state. 0:40:17.840 --> 0:40:19.280 How many hours away? 0:40:19.719 --> 0:40:20.600 Three and a half hours? 0:40:21.080 --> 0:40:23.680 Is it airplane or are you able to do? 0:40:23.960 --> 0:40:24.200 Live? 0:40:24.680 --> 0:40:25.640 Okay, so it's not terrible. 0:40:25.640 --> 0:40:26.919 It's like going to the Hamptons. 0:40:27.200 --> 0:40:30.040 Oh okay, so that's not as bad as like LA 0:40:30.160 --> 0:40:31.879 dating New York. I mean that, Remember you went out 0:40:31.920 --> 0:40:33.160 that guy who lived in LA. 0:40:33.320 --> 0:40:35.680 Yes, I was just like and I liked him so much, 0:40:35.719 --> 0:40:38.719 I just couldn't. I was like, this is this is impossible. 0:40:38.760 --> 0:40:40.319 We will never be able to date. 0:40:40.719 --> 0:40:43.880 It's exactly, especially with your career, your kids, or your life, 0:40:43.880 --> 0:40:46.239 it's just too hard to have long distance. I agree. 0:40:46.880 --> 0:40:49.080 So am I allowed to ask how you met Was 0:40:49.120 --> 0:40:49.880 this through an app? 0:40:50.480 --> 0:40:53.080 No? I met him through a friend. Can you believe 0:40:53.120 --> 0:40:54.840 that I actually met him through a friend? 0:40:55.200 --> 0:40:58.520 Setups are the best? Yeah, And don't you think it 0:40:58.640 --> 0:41:02.239 all drops in our lap as it should and when 0:41:02.280 --> 0:41:04.160 it should. I always gave this to my friends, like 0:41:04.200 --> 0:41:07.320 why are we forcing an issue? It's gonna the universe 0:41:07.360 --> 0:41:09.520 is going to make it happen at the right time, 0:41:09.560 --> 0:41:10.240 when we're ready. 0:41:10.600 --> 0:41:12.399 It's just funny because I was in such a bad 0:41:12.440 --> 0:41:15.359 place and when he started texting me, I was I 0:41:15.400 --> 0:41:16.480 wasn't really paying attention. 0:41:16.800 --> 0:41:19.920 I was like, what does he want with me? I 0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:22.040 was like, I just am in this awful place. 0:41:22.200 --> 0:41:26.000 Is public, you know, I was cumulated publicly, as cheated on, 0:41:26.760 --> 0:41:27.880 Like I was like, what does he want to do? 0:41:27.920 --> 0:41:29.560 What does he want with me? And he's just been 0:41:29.680 --> 0:41:30.360 so nice. 0:41:30.920 --> 0:41:35.759 It's nice trumps everything, Kelly. People that are devoted and 0:41:35.800 --> 0:41:38.920 they calm our nervous systems and they show up like 0:41:39.719 --> 0:41:42.200 this is what we need. Good for you calm. 0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:44.600 Your nervous system. Yes, that that's what I need. I 0:41:44.640 --> 0:41:46.000 need to be calmed down. 0:41:46.080 --> 0:41:49.359 I don't need to be we don't want to be activated, right, 0:41:49.600 --> 0:41:53.680 And I tend to respond to people who are like 0:41:53.840 --> 0:41:57.319 dopamine hits right, like the activation is exciting to me. 0:41:58.040 --> 0:42:02.040 And and no, that's the piece I got it worked on. 0:42:02.120 --> 0:42:04.160 You know what I'm saying. But I don't know. I'm 0:42:04.200 --> 0:42:05.839 really happy for you. I hope he has a cute 0:42:05.840 --> 0:42:06.319 friend for me. 0:42:06.960 --> 0:42:10.239 Yes, right, No, I mean you got to come to 0:42:10.280 --> 0:42:13.080 New York. I know when I'm an away, I'm definitely 0:42:13.120 --> 0:42:15.040 coming to see. I'm definitely coming to see. Okay, So 0:42:15.120 --> 0:42:16.680 now we have some listener questions. 0:42:16.800 --> 0:42:17.800 These are my favorite. 0:42:17.920 --> 0:42:20.920 I love these, I know, and I was like, but 0:42:20.960 --> 0:42:23.720 there's so everyone on the pod has been so great. 0:42:24.120 --> 0:42:27.120 So here's number one. So it's Denise from Scottsdale. 0:42:27.120 --> 0:42:29.160 She's going, I'm going on my first date since my 0:42:29.239 --> 0:42:31.680 divorce next week and it's been it's a blind date. 0:42:31.760 --> 0:42:33.560 I haven't gone on a date in fifteen years. 0:42:33.719 --> 0:42:37.680 What's a good icebreaker that could spark good conversation. 0:42:38.360 --> 0:42:40.239 I'm going to take a play out of my best 0:42:40.239 --> 0:42:44.439 friend's book, who is the most exactly like, for lack 0:42:44.520 --> 0:42:48.400 of better word, vomits what's in her head? And I 0:42:48.440 --> 0:42:50.520 think it's so refreshing. So she would get there and 0:42:50.560 --> 0:42:53.880 she'd be like, oh my god, my first date in fifteen years. 0:42:53.880 --> 0:42:56.880 Like I'm excited. I'm nervous right there. That breaks the 0:42:56.920 --> 0:43:00.640 ice right instead of coming in as tending that like 0:43:00.680 --> 0:43:02.839 she's like, yeah, I got this, like I've been doing 0:43:02.840 --> 0:43:05.120 this all the time, Like she just kind of says it. 0:43:05.360 --> 0:43:12.839 And that is the way to immediately come in be open, refreshing, vulnerable. 0:43:13.000 --> 0:43:16.040 I mean, come on, a vulnerability piece is super super 0:43:16.280 --> 0:43:19.000 important and authentic piece. So that's what I think she 0:43:19.040 --> 0:43:19.440 should do. 0:43:19.960 --> 0:43:22.680 I love that. I think that's great advice. That is 0:43:22.880 --> 0:43:28.240 that's amazing. Okay, here is another one. Matt from Tampa, Florida. 0:43:28.320 --> 0:43:30.640 We're going all around, all over the map. I've been 0:43:30.680 --> 0:43:33.719 single for six years at having fun. Three months ago 0:43:33.880 --> 0:43:37.200 I got laid off my job. Oh now money's become tight. 0:43:37.600 --> 0:43:39.759 I want to keep dating, but I can't wine and 0:43:39.840 --> 0:43:42.279 dye women right now. What are some cheaper options I 0:43:42.320 --> 0:43:44.600 can try for dates that will still be enjoyable. 0:43:45.080 --> 0:43:48.040 Oh, go to Trader Joe's, get a bottle of wine, 0:43:48.160 --> 0:43:50.440 get some cool glasses, go to the beach and have 0:43:50.480 --> 0:43:51.320 a cocktail like that. 0:43:51.840 --> 0:43:52.240 Easy. 0:43:52.719 --> 0:43:57.600 I want to do that right easy. And the truth is, 0:43:57.600 --> 0:44:01.480 is a girl a girl who who only wants to 0:44:01.520 --> 0:44:05.080 be you know, taken to like the fanciest place. It's 0:44:05.120 --> 0:44:08.120 not his girl. Anyways, he needs a girl who wants 0:44:08.160 --> 0:44:10.719 to go do cool stuff. It doesn't cost money, like 0:44:10.800 --> 0:44:13.520 go pick apples, right, I love that. 0:44:13.760 --> 0:44:17.120 Yeah, and then you're doing something together and like the 0:44:17.160 --> 0:44:19.840 apples fall, and then there's like a funny you know, 0:44:20.160 --> 0:44:22.680 now you have like a story, like like I like 0:44:22.760 --> 0:44:28.120 that farmer's market date, apple picking, pumpkin patch. I like 0:44:28.200 --> 0:44:30.879 the wine I do at the beach that's so good. 0:44:30.920 --> 0:44:32.879 And by the way, Frigio's has great wine too. 0:44:33.080 --> 0:44:33.640 I mean, so. 0:44:35.400 --> 0:44:37.000 It's so easy. Or you can get to beverage is 0:44:37.000 --> 0:44:39.879 the more and get like like on sale, buy one, 0:44:39.960 --> 0:44:43.280 get two free or something. Right, it's so easy. 0:44:43.640 --> 0:44:44.160 I love that. 0:44:44.440 --> 0:44:46.319 All right, So Matt, good luck with that. We were 0:44:46.480 --> 0:44:50.480 rooting for you. Okay, here's Jill from Norco, California. 0:44:50.560 --> 0:44:51.279 My husband of. 0:44:51.280 --> 0:44:54.600 Three years is getting remarried and so pissed off. I 0:44:54.680 --> 0:44:57.640 haven't had a serious relation since they were divorced. Found 0:44:57.640 --> 0:45:00.640 someone right away. Being single sucks. What can I do 0:45:00.680 --> 0:45:02.840 for myself that will make me feel confident being in 0:45:02.840 --> 0:45:03.640 the dating scene? 0:45:03.680 --> 0:45:06.120 Oh, let me tasting. I love this question. Okay, she's 0:45:06.160 --> 0:45:09.760 got to get less angry. Okay, she has to clean 0:45:09.840 --> 0:45:12.840 up how she's feeling on the inside, so the energy 0:45:12.960 --> 0:45:17.160 that she is giving off will be open and inviting 0:45:17.320 --> 0:45:20.359 and warm to people that she wants to go on dates. 0:45:20.440 --> 0:45:23.239 It because right there you're reading this, she actually needs 0:45:23.239 --> 0:45:25.240 to probably do a drug journey and do a Roto 0:45:25.280 --> 0:45:27.360 Router of how she's feeling on the inside, and the 0:45:27.400 --> 0:45:30.719 minute she cleans all that up, she'll she'll be fine. 0:45:30.760 --> 0:45:33.239 She's got to stop focusing on his backyard and worry 0:45:33.239 --> 0:45:33.719 about her. 0:45:33.600 --> 0:45:38.200 Own love that we goes for it. I totally agree. 0:45:38.280 --> 0:45:41.560 And I also think that, like one thing that happens 0:45:41.600 --> 0:45:43.080 with a lot of women is that when they do 0:45:43.600 --> 0:45:45.719 when they do it, when they're going to a breakup. 0:45:45.400 --> 0:45:48.520 They cut their hair. Do not cut your hair. Collar 0:45:48.600 --> 0:45:49.240 your hair. 0:45:49.200 --> 0:45:53.319 Like go blonder, be go brunette like Carrie Bradshaw did. 0:45:53.360 --> 0:45:54.759 But do not cut your hair. 0:45:55.200 --> 0:45:58.880 She looks great, she never looks better. Yeah, game changer 0:45:58.920 --> 0:45:59.520 her hair cut. 0:46:00.120 --> 0:46:05.200 Yeah, Pam Anderson also looks great. Just so yeah, but yeah, 0:46:05.239 --> 0:46:07.480 do not cut your hair. That's like an absolute noe. 0:46:08.160 --> 0:46:08.520 Okay. 0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:11.840 Shannon from Boise, Idaho, I'm on my third marriage and 0:46:11.880 --> 0:46:14.319 I finally found my person. I'm sixty three and my 0:46:14.400 --> 0:46:16.480 husband I have a healthy sex life, okay, get it. 0:46:17.120 --> 0:46:19.640 I know, like whoa okay, but it feels very routine 0:46:19.680 --> 0:46:22.920 and boring. Oh okay, how can I make it more interesting? 0:46:22.920 --> 0:46:25.200 And how can I talk about it with him without 0:46:25.320 --> 0:46:26.600 hurting his feelings? 0:46:26.920 --> 0:46:29.759 First of all, it's all about presentation. She has to 0:46:29.760 --> 0:46:33.040 save him, like how amazing that it's sixty three We're 0:46:33.040 --> 0:46:36.799 still having sex like regularly. Then she should say how 0:46:36.840 --> 0:46:40.400 fun would it be? I can wear a wig Betsy underwear. 0:46:41.000 --> 0:46:43.680 You know, we can go you know, somewhere like public. 0:46:43.719 --> 0:46:45.839 I mean, are you the fact that she comes from 0:46:45.880 --> 0:46:49.600 the place of saying like we're winning, like at sixty three, 0:46:49.880 --> 0:46:53.600 we want to have sex still the world is our oyster? 0:46:53.960 --> 0:46:56.440 Wait? Public? Like in the I got a public bathroom? 0:46:56.640 --> 0:47:01.560 What do you make a bucket list? That's hotously go 0:47:01.560 --> 0:47:02.880 to be I mean we used to do it on 0:47:02.920 --> 0:47:05.759 trips in high school and Hawaii when it was dark 0:47:05.840 --> 0:47:07.680 on a beach to knock it out, Like they can 0:47:07.760 --> 0:47:11.600 do it too, right, go to a park like it's 0:47:11.640 --> 0:47:14.680 so fun. Good for them? I mean, honestly good for them. 0:47:14.880 --> 0:47:16.600 I know, like, what is she complaining about? She's having 0:47:16.600 --> 0:47:17.080 a good time? 0:47:18.440 --> 0:47:20.560 Does he even need VIAGRAA? I mean, come on, this 0:47:20.640 --> 0:47:21.320 is amazing. 0:47:22.200 --> 0:47:24.320 I think people get rested though when they're at parks 0:47:24.440 --> 0:47:25.880 having sex, So I don't know, there should. 0:47:25.640 --> 0:47:27.600 Be no no. I mean, I think this world is 0:47:27.640 --> 0:47:29.640 so uptight, so I think they just need to go 0:47:29.719 --> 0:47:35.239 have fun, you know, or doing in a car, seriously 0:47:35.360 --> 0:47:37.960 doing a car, go go park on a street after dinner. 0:47:38.080 --> 0:47:40.479 I mean, there's so many fun things to. 0:47:40.440 --> 0:47:41.840 Do, everybody. 0:47:41.960 --> 0:47:45.879 We got a lightning. After we got a lightning, right, 0:47:47.200 --> 0:47:49.520 do something out of the box if you want change, 0:47:49.840 --> 0:47:50.640 be changed. 0:47:51.280 --> 0:47:58.719 Oh oh my drop. I love that we've covered so 0:47:58.880 --> 0:47:59.520 much today. 0:48:00.200 --> 0:48:01.399 Thank you, we always do. 0:48:01.440 --> 0:48:03.160 We always have the best time together. 0:48:03.280 --> 0:48:06.160 I love seeing you, hearing where you are in your 0:48:06.200 --> 0:48:09.319 life and you're always bringing such a unique and cool 0:48:09.400 --> 0:48:12.240 perspective to these conversations. And thank you listeners for sending 0:48:12.239 --> 0:48:15.080 in those questions. Do you have a question you want 0:48:15.160 --> 0:48:18.080 us to answer, then the podcast is for you, so 0:48:18.280 --> 0:48:21.239 call us or email us. All all the information is 0:48:21.320 --> 0:48:24.359 in the show notes, follow us on socials, and make 0:48:24.400 --> 0:48:27.839 sure you rate and review the podcast. I do Part 0:48:27.880 --> 0:48:32.239 two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the 0:48:32.280 --> 0:48:35.320 main objective.