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Speaker 1: I ended our engagement because our relationship is no longer healthy.

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Speaker 1: Toxic toxic relationship. Get out of there. I twenty five female,

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Speaker 1: have been with my fiance twenty seven mail for four years.

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Speaker 1: We've been engaged for one of those years. Our wedding

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Speaker 1: is set for June. We met in college. I graduated

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Speaker 1: early while he graduated late, so we finished at the

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Speaker 1: same time.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 1: I got a job and he decided to go to

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Speaker 1: grad school. He was supposed to graduate a year ago

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Speaker 1: but didn't finish his thesis.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, I see you.

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Speaker 1: Then was supposed to graduate in the spring but didn't,

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Speaker 1: so now he's supposed to graduate in a few weeks.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Salt Media sixty five

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Speaker 1: thirty four on the Okay storytime Separate It. He found

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Speaker 1: out about a month and a half ago that he

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Speaker 1: was going to have to do another semester and only

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Speaker 1: told me last week after I asked about how he

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Speaker 1: was doing.

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Speaker 2: Oh, time out timeout, pulling out the red flag, red

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Speaker 2: flag out, red flag.

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Speaker 1: Too many delays, Too many delays. I mean, it's fine

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Speaker 1: if you need to take.

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Speaker 2: Time to finish school, but like one more smile if

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Speaker 2: you're about to Yeah, if you're about to get married

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Speaker 2: to someone taking a lot of.

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Speaker 1: Dead on and you're not telling them how much time

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Speaker 1: you're taking suspicious This has completely removed the veil from

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Speaker 1: my eyes. I love him so much that I've been

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Speaker 1: ignoring everything. I've sacrificed so much. I've taken on the

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Speaker 1: majority of the load in our relationship financial chores, cooking, planning,

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Speaker 1: et cetera, to ease his stress so he could graduate

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Speaker 1: and we can begin our life together. I'm working a

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Speaker 1: job I don't find fulfilling in just just because it's

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Speaker 1: the best option in the area of the universities going to.

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Speaker 1: He couldn't sacrifice substances and video games so that he

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Speaker 1: can finish his god dang thesis and we can move

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Speaker 1: where I can get a better job and be happier.

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Speaker 1: I don't even think he sees how much I'm doing

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Speaker 1: for him. I feel like I'm his mother and he's

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Speaker 1: my unemployed, twenty seven year old son that has no

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Speaker 1: plans of getting a job or move out. I'm so

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Speaker 1: frustrated it's taken me this long to see. It's been

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Speaker 1: there the whole time, and I'm just now perceiving it.

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Speaker 1: I want my life partner to be ambitious and motivated

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Speaker 1: in the same way as me. But he's not. He

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Speaker 1: has held me back for four years and I haven't

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Speaker 1: realized it until now. So tomorrow I'm gonna end our engagement.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, he's like, you know what, I'm done. I

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Speaker 1: love him so much, but that is not enough. I've

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Speaker 1: been processing this for the last week, and although I

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Speaker 1: am terrified of losing him, the people I love that

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Speaker 1: I've met THROUGHOM and the non refundable deposits we've I've

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Speaker 1: made for the wedding, I'm feeling a bit of excitement

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Speaker 1: to be independent. Once I grieve this relationship my best friend,

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Speaker 1: who I thought was the love of my life, I

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Speaker 1: think I will feel ten tons lighter. And there is

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Speaker 1: an update.

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Speaker 3: Oo man, oh man.

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Speaker 1: It seems like, oh, he's already decided.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's she's good to go. Yeah, it's gonna be tough.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be really tough.

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Speaker 2: It will be tough. You thought, and you prepared for

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Speaker 2: this person to be the love of your life. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and also got together at twenty one. They're twenty four.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 2: Their identity is wrapped around this.

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Speaker 1: You're totally different people now, and that's okay. And also

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Speaker 1: I think he's probably gonna be like, oh, I'll change,

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Speaker 1: I'll change, and I'll try and make excuses. But he

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Speaker 1: had time, he had time to change, and he didn't.

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Speaker 2: I think they're gonna break up, but he's gonna be

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Speaker 2: like no, yeah, I think he really. I'll finish it

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Speaker 2: this semester, no more video games and Mary Jane.

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Speaker 1: It'll be easier to break this down by day. So

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Speaker 1: my og post was posted on Tuesday. Wednesday, I read

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Speaker 1: him when I wrote about all my feelings and how

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Speaker 1: his shortcomings have been affecting me. He agreed with everything

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Speaker 1: I said, took responsibility for everything. He said I deserve

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Speaker 1: better and that he wants to do better for me.

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Speaker 1: He was being super hard on himself and it was

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Speaker 1: hard to watch. At the end, I mentioned postponing the

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Speaker 1: wedding and he freaked out. I didn't have it in

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Speaker 1: me to say cancel. He was really blindsided by that

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Speaker 1: and sett he needed time and space to process, so

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Speaker 1: he left. Thursday. He came back and took responsibility for

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Speaker 1: everything again. He thanked me for bringing it up because

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Speaker 1: he needed to hear it. He said he's been stuck

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Speaker 1: for a long time and he wants to do better

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Speaker 1: for me. I told him, I think we need to

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Speaker 1: part ways in order for both of us to be

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Speaker 1: able to grow in the ways we need. And he

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Speaker 1: was not expecting that at all.

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Speaker 2: I think he needs to come clean on this one.

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Speaker 1: You just gotta say sorry, it's over.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: He started freaking out. He begged me. He said, please

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Speaker 1: don't do this to me. You're my best friend. Please

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Speaker 1: don't give up on me. You haven't even given me

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Speaker 1: a chance. I have to tell you that that that

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Speaker 1: was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. It

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Speaker 1: took everything in me to not give in.

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Speaker 2: Right, that's the worst thing. That's what happened over Yeah.

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Speaker 1: When he was like, give me a chance, please, and he's.

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Speaker 2: Begging, Oh, she's saying now, this was like yeah.

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Speaker 1: But I told him I have a lot of resentment

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Speaker 1: and that would be hard to let go of and

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Speaker 1: it will be very hard to let go of our

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Speaker 1: current dynamic, and that's not fair to either of us.

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Speaker 1: At some point he said, you have every I can't

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Speaker 1: believe I've e ft this up. Then we agreed to

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Speaker 1: have another conversation the next day. When emotions were at

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Speaker 1: as high Friday, I stayed home from work and he

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Speaker 1: came over in the early afternoon. He sat down and

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Speaker 1: began telling me the things he planned in order to

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Speaker 1: get better. He already made an appointment with an ADHD specialist.

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Speaker 1: He talked with his grad school advisor about his options.

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Speaker 1: He said he was willing to do anything to keep me.

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Speaker 1: I told him again every reason why we can't stay together,

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Speaker 1: and he accepted it. We hugged and kissed each other goodbye,

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Speaker 1: and he left. That's so tough. I sat for a minute,

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Speaker 1: and then I started freaking out. It became real I've

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Speaker 1: had I have pictured my entire life with him for

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Speaker 1: many years, and the fact that he won't be in

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Speaker 1: it at all really rattled me. It's just strange to

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Speaker 1: me that he didn't have a game plan for going

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Speaker 1: to grad school. He was like, I'm gonna do grad school,

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Speaker 1: and then it was just like, keep a gun.

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Speaker 2: He's comfortable. Yeah, he's comfortable. People getting that kind of

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Speaker 2: way of life and they're like, all right, that's what

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Speaker 2: it's going to be.

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Speaker 1: In our conversation, he seems so ready for growth, and

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Speaker 1: I questioned if it was fair to not give him

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Speaker 1: a chance. I texted him and asked him to come

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Speaker 1: back later to talk more. He came back, and in

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Speaker 1: the meantime I wrote out a list of things I

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Speaker 1: needed in order for us to be together. He started

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Speaker 1: reading it and he stopped me. He said he had

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Speaker 1: thought about everything I said earlier and knew I was right.

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Speaker 1: He acknowledged that he has that he's been holding me

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Speaker 1: back for a long time, and he doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: do that anymore. I'm very grateful he recognized that and

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Speaker 1: let me go. Dang, at least, you know, at least

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Speaker 1: he's taken it seemingly. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's a real way to love someone, as

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Speaker 2: if you know it's not gonna work.

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Speaker 5: Go.

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Speaker 1: We decided to spend one last night together. It was

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Speaker 1: like nothing had happened. We kissed and cuddled and watched

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Speaker 1: her show. We talked about a relationship and our favorite

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Speaker 1: memories together. We ordered dinner and played our favorite board game.

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Speaker 1: Then we cried ourselves to sleep in each other's arms.

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Speaker 2: Oooh, that's that's that's dangerous.

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Speaker 1: That's sad.

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Speaker 2: That's dangerous, because it's like, well, we could just do

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Speaker 2: it again tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: In the morning. We said goodbye and we both left.

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Speaker 1: We agreed to no contact for the foreseeable future. By

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Speaker 1: the way, we would love for you to keep contact

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Speaker 1: with us for the foreseeable future on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok.

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Speaker 1: Just have a profile at three PMPSD.

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 1: They're going no contact, going no Well, but I think

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Speaker 1: that is fair. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean maybe, yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe along the line they can be friends. But I

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Speaker 1: think when you've been in that long relationship and you're

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Speaker 1: like in love with each other, got to you gotta

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Speaker 1: have a little bit of no contact of first. Oh admitted,

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Speaker 1: She's like I love him, he loves me. We're just

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Speaker 1: not right for each other right now. Like it's just

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Speaker 1: a matter of timing. That's that's for sure circumstances, because

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Speaker 1: he could come back.

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Speaker 2: He could be on the biggest comeback up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it could be like you could finish his you know, degree,

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Speaker 1: and then he comes back and he's like, I'm a

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Speaker 1: working man making money. I got a haircut.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes a fella just needs a haircut.

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Speaker 1: But there is another part to the story. This was

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Speaker 1: the best possible ending I could have imagined. I'm so

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Speaker 1: glad he ended up on the same page as me.

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Speaker 1: We still have so much love for each other, but

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Speaker 1: we know it's the best thing for us both. I'll

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Speaker 1: be moving within the next few weeks and hopefully getting

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Speaker 1: a job I actually enjoy. I'm rooting for him and

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Speaker 1: really hope he can figure himself out. What's meant to

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Speaker 1: happen will happen, and I believe that wholeheartedly. I read

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Speaker 1: through y'all's comments before each talk for strength and encouragement.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much to everyone for the support and

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Speaker 1: simil loving comments. And when told he was heartbreaking and

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Speaker 1: why didn't she bring up her concerns, Opie says, I

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Speaker 1: regret this. I did bring up my concerns about these

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Speaker 1: things multiple times, but I was too nice about it.

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Speaker 1: I took a supportive and encouraging approach, and that's not

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Speaker 1: what he needed. He needed me to be harsher. But

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Speaker 1: that is a problem in and of itself, because I

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Speaker 1: brought these things to his attention and he didn't do

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Speaker 1: anything about it on his own accord. Just doing it

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Speaker 1: for me wasn't enough. Obviously, now his growth will be

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Speaker 1: for himself, and that is how it needs to be. Also,

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Speaker 1: I never realized how deep I was feeling these things.

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Speaker 1: I think it's because I love him so much, and

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Speaker 1: interacting with him makes me feel so happy, made me

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Speaker 1: so happy that I downplayed all of my other feelings.

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Speaker 1: But I reached a breaking point last week and here

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Speaker 1: we are rain Dog two says for those who found

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Speaker 1: this setting to be sad though though right and healthy,

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Speaker 1: I had a girlfriend do this with me in college.

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Speaker 1: She really was healthier without me. I used that to

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Speaker 1: fix what was broken in me, but with the understanding

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Speaker 1: that it was for my sake, not hers.

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Speaker 2: Yes, facts, yeah, facts.

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Speaker 1: Four years later, I found her and contacted her with

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Speaker 1: the offer of a friendly catchup and or apology. The

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Speaker 1: apology came with an understanding that would be completely open

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Speaker 1: and transparent, with no questions being off limit. After months

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Speaker 1: of that kind of openness, she eventually became reassured that

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Speaker 1: I was safe to have her in her life. So

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Speaker 1: this person is like you guys could come back from that.

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Speaker 2: You got a shot, Opie or Opie's dude, you still

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Speaker 2: got a shot.

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Speaker 1: That led to a period of dating where I had

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Speaker 1: to win back the trust of her family and friends.

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Speaker 1: That's hard. Twenty years and two.

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Speaker 3: Children later, we're happy and married.

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Speaker 1: I love this side story. Letting her go so I

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Speaker 1: could get better. It was key to my growth and

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Speaker 1: became key to getting her back. If Op's fiance wants

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Speaker 1: to change, let him do that without her, and then

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Speaker 1: he can try and earn her back, and that is

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Speaker 1: the end of that story. But I think that's a

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Speaker 1: honestly lovely.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes when you got a bird, you just gotta let

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Speaker 2: her go and let it go. When it comes back,

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Speaker 2: its keep.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, because if it really loves you, eventually

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Speaker 1: you guys will wind up together if it's meant to be.

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Speaker 1: But right now, you guys aren't working and you need

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Speaker 1: you need to go on your own and find yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yep, go to Bali.

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Speaker 1: Go Bali and find yourself there worked for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I figured everything out in Bally.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my controlling fiance turns out to be a cheater,

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Speaker 2: so I ended our engagement. Very reasonable reason for context.

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Speaker 2: I am an a mid thirties female was engaged to

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Speaker 2: my fiance, an early forties male. Let's call him Kevin God.

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Speaker 1: Kevin.

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Speaker 2: We meet in our country club through mutual friends in

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Speaker 2: a group setting, and we hit it off. Found God

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Speaker 2: by the way. This comes from Aggressive Craft three one

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Speaker 2: four on the r slash okay story Tom subret So.

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Speaker 2: I was working back then as a director at a

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Speaker 2: very high level of seniority with thirty people under my guidance,

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Speaker 2: and I never treated them as a boss, always being

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Speaker 2: fair in my job with my subordinates. Flexible hours, wasn't

257
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Speaker 2: too concern with them when they arrived at work as

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Speaker 2: long as they delivered the task correctly and made sure

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Speaker 2: they got their semi annual pay raises and the annual

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Speaker 2: profit share. And never fired anyone unless it was the

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Speaker 2: last resort. So it's like I'm a pretty incredible boss.

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Speaker 2: My ex fiance didn't care too much about what I

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Speaker 2: did for a living because he's he's himself as the

264
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:07,559
Speaker 2: provider and always tried to minimize my work when asked

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Speaker 2: about me. Interesting. At first, I didn't want to end

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Speaker 2: up alone and thought maybe if I just held on

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Speaker 2: a little longer, things would sort out and get fixed

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Speaker 2: in all sorts of ways. But inevitably what happened was

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Speaker 2: that he resented me, and I found out through our

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00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,880
Speaker 2: group of friends he presented you for what as an

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Speaker 2: engaged couple. He would always try to take the lead

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Speaker 2: in things, never giving me a chance to speak my mind,

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Speaker 2: and then telling me when we were alone that I

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Speaker 2: am immortal in an it for dreaming big. This is

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Speaker 2: old fashioned misogynistic.

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Speaker 1: Or an old fashion misogyny, and you need to get out.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you're you're being a boss lady. And he's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're too good at your job and my job's really hard.

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Speaker 1: And then you come home and you like try and

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Speaker 1: talk at parties and he's like, you're more disgusting.

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Speaker 2: The company I worked at, I was the youngest director

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Speaker 2: under the age of forty. Yeah, you're and for some

283
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:16,480
Speaker 2: odd reason that made his blood boil, always arguing the

284
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,520
Speaker 2: better I did at work, the worse we did, and

285
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Speaker 2: sue and so to try to smooth things over, I

286
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Speaker 2: did submit my resignation letter and my contract got terminated

287
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Speaker 2: by the end of June twenty twenty three. I was

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Speaker 2: paying more attention to him, just like he wanted, and

289
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Speaker 2: stopped everything that he didn't want me to make him happy.

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Speaker 2: And I am a hopeless romantic and I adored him.

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Speaker 2: Don't judge me too harsh dang.

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Speaker 1: No, I mean I don't judge ope harshly, but it's

293
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Speaker 1: just so sad that op felt like the only way

294
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Speaker 1: to receive love in this situation, was too lesson herself.

295
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to be smaller. You have to do

296
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,199
Speaker 2: these are my expectations. You have to do X y Z.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, your partner should love you as your biggest self.

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Speaker 1: And and you're you're you're shrinking yourself so that so

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Speaker 1: that he can handle you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so we can, so we can have confidence in

301
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Speaker 2: this relationship.

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00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's embarrassing for him.

303
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,520
Speaker 2: As we started prepping for the wedding and I bought

304
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,800
Speaker 2: a new apartment for us and went furniture shopping, things

305
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,840
Speaker 2: started to get better bit by bit, or so I thought,

306
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,680
Speaker 2: until I was at a cafe with friends and we

307
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,360
Speaker 2: were waiting for him, only for him to reject my calls.

308
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,000
Speaker 2: At first, I tried to brush it off, thinking traffic,

309
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 2: until my friends told me they had to leave, and

310
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,600
Speaker 2: I was waiting in that cafe alone for four and

311
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:41,720
Speaker 2: a half hours when he showed up. Why would you what?

312
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,240
Speaker 2: Why would you wait for him?

313
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 1: Because? I mean, he's kind of lowered her confidence so

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Speaker 1: much that she feels like she has to do everything

315
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Speaker 1: for him, even if it's waiting in the cafe for

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Speaker 1: four hours.

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00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:56,520
Speaker 2: His hair was disheveled and his clothes looked damp, like

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00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,400
Speaker 2: he had a shower. I tried to asking him what

319
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,040
Speaker 2: held him up for four and a half hours, but

320
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,480
Speaker 2: he wouldn't utter a single peep about his whereabouts and

321
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,280
Speaker 2: try to act like I was the crazy one, saying, astroid, sweetie,

322
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:13,240
Speaker 2: you're imagining things. I think you're just confused. Honestly, I

323
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,920
Speaker 2: was so pissed now. My blood pressure was sky high

324
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,440
Speaker 2: that day. All right, everyone in the chat's up? You

325
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,040
Speaker 2: know what's up?

326
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:24,440
Speaker 1: I see using the freaking chats? Oh yeh. It comes

327
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:28,080
Speaker 1: because this man is just can't handle that Op's so

328
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,840
Speaker 1: freaking cool. And it's like I need to not only

329
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,640
Speaker 1: undermine her confidence, I need well, I need to keep

330
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,600
Speaker 1: under running your confidence.

331
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,920
Speaker 2: I need to undermind someone else's.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

333
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,320
Speaker 2: I went home feeling so off about everything, unable to

334
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,200
Speaker 2: pinpoint what the heck could happened till the very next

335
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,120
Speaker 2: day I got a text from an unknown number telling me,

336
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,920
Speaker 2: if you want to know the whole truth about your

337
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:54,640
Speaker 2: perfect can do no wrong fiance, meet me at the

338
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 2: same cafe you were at yesterday at twelve thirty sharp.

339
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,120
Speaker 2: Who is this batman?

340
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,400
Speaker 1: Freaking yeah, ominous?

341
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 3: Who is this dominous text?

342
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 1: Or like, if you want to know the secrets.

343
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:11,200
Speaker 5: Meets me behind the train that's midnight.

344
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,400
Speaker 1: They like someone hands her like she's walking and someone

345
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,520
Speaker 1: hands like slips a piece of paper in her hand.

346
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,440
Speaker 1: She's like, what's this?

347
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, my gut feeling told me I should go,

348
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,320
Speaker 2: and I did and ignored his calls that day. When

349
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,760
Speaker 2: I went, I found a tall Barbie looking girl, telling

350
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 2: me you must be astured. Her description. I am one

351
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,120
Speaker 2: sixty five centimeters and fifty seven kilos with long, reddish

352
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 2: brown hair and hazel eyes, but I am nowhere near

353
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 2: looking like a Barbie. So she's like about five and

354
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,280
Speaker 2: about like one hundred and twenty ish pounds.

355
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,760
Speaker 1: That's why I was wondering, what the conversion?

356
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,400
Speaker 2: That's it. If I'm wrong, let me know. I think

357
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 2: that's it. She felt so warm and welcoming and was

358
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 2: asking me how me and Kevin met. I told her

359
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,280
Speaker 2: it was through a group meeting and mutual friends. We

360
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 2: kind of hit it off. She was like, I don't

361
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,199
Speaker 2: want to alarm you, but I think you deserved to

362
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,960
Speaker 2: know the truth. No, girl, we already.

363
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,199
Speaker 1: Know the truth, honestly. Like this is gonna suck, but

364
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 1: like I think he needs this. Oh heck, Yeah, this

365
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,880
Speaker 1: is gonna suck so hard, and I'm so sorry that's

366
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 1: happening to you, But I think this is like the

367
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,800
Speaker 1: shock that's gonna get you out of this relationship she needed.

368
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,480
Speaker 2: This May of twenty twenty three, HM, I stared at

369
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 2: her blankly, asking her what she meant, and that is

370
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 2: when she told me that my so perfect fiance who

371
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,679
Speaker 2: was adamant I quit my job, was actually working with

372
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 2: his ex fiance in the same company before we even met,

373
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:41,480
Speaker 2: and was complaining to her about me NonStop and to

374
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,919
Speaker 2: his mom, and he was the very reason my friends

375
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,879
Speaker 2: started to leave me one by one, along with his

376
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 2: mom being the one adamant I leave my job. No. Well,

377
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,400
Speaker 2: I tried to tell her that she was insane, and

378
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:01,640
Speaker 2: that is when she pulled a large Vannila envelope containing

379
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 2: photos of him and his ex at the very same

380
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:09,520
Speaker 2: cafe we were sitting at and sitting intimately. I stayed

381
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,680
Speaker 2: quiet and listened to everything, went home, packed my bags

382
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 2: and headed for the new apartment that I had bought,

383
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,640
Speaker 2: called the locksmith and had the locks changed that same day.

384
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,959
Speaker 2: Packed all his belongings in three large boxes and his

385
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 2: suitcase that belonged to him he had bought things for

386
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 2: our apartment, so these were his things, and left them

387
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,680
Speaker 2: at the side of the road. After after a half hour,

388
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,320
Speaker 2: I called the hotel, the caterers, and the photographer and

389
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 2: canceled everything. Called his mom, his dad, and sister and

390
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 2: sent them the pictures during his sister's birthday party. That

391
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,240
Speaker 2: was oddly enough that same day of the photos of

392
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 2: their precious sun cheating. Oh she's there and now she's

393
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 2: driving this laundry, dude, she is trying in. This is

394
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:03,240
Speaker 2: a danger lie, that's right, Josephine. Yeah, he has called,

395
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 2: saying that he that he and his ex didn't have

396
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 2: the spicy tango and that I was blowing things out

397
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 2: of proportion, saying that I will live to regret it,

398
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,399
Speaker 2: and that I am already not too and I am

399
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,159
Speaker 2: already not young, so I will end up alone.

400
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,679
Speaker 1: He's gonna end up alone. Yeah, she sucks. He's a

401
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 1: horrible person. And you're you're a boss lady, and you're

402
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,440
Speaker 1: gonna bounce back.

403
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 2: Girl, Yeah, you gotta. You gotta bounce back. So I

404
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,680
Speaker 2: ask you all, am I in the wrong for having

405
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 2: done this, Given the fact that he used to dictate

406
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:41,159
Speaker 2: every single detail about me, from my hairstyle, manicure, and

407
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 2: clothes to the car I drove and everything in between.

408
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 2: I'm now questioning my decision. By the way, you can

409
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 2: ever question us if you joint us live every weekday

410
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,919
Speaker 2: at three pm on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. All you

411
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 2: gotta do.

412
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 1: Is tap our profile.

413
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 2: Girl getting out.

414
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta get out of there. Yeah you aired

415
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: out the laundry, and now go go find go buy

416
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 1: new clothes.

417
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 2: You gotta gotta buy new clothes, new whole new wardrobe. Yep,

418
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: you got a pretty woman. This up ps to those

419
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 2: who are saying it was written by ai Ha, I

420
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,679
Speaker 2: really wish this was a joke or something, but it's not.

421
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 2: All I have to All I have left is my apartment,

422
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,920
Speaker 2: and I still don't have all the furniture. The only

423
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 2: good thing out of this is that the apartment is

424
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,400
Speaker 2: fully my own and I paid for it with half

425
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 2: of my savings. Savings. To those asking about the friends part,

426
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 2: he was feeding them lies, saying I was two in

427
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 2: my head and too arrogant, and that he would come

428
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 2: home to a house that was untidy and no food

429
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,439
Speaker 2: in the fridge. Food then, although I made sure to

430
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 2: never set foot out of the house without the fridge

431
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 2: being fully stock with cooked food. I mean all kinds

432
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 2: of food, rabbi steak, chicken, pot pot, apple strudle, his

433
00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: favorite custard, homemade yogurt, goncci, yoki, yoki, yeah, yoki. Anything

434
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 2: he wanted me to cook, and I'm made a habit

435
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 2: of learning it.

436
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: That's crazy, Holy, that's crazy. She's going all out and he's.

437
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 3: Like, cush your move.

438
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 1: Who cares? I hope you starve?

439
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah, maybe not forever, just like a week,

440
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 2: just a week. Yeah, Oh my gosh. We got some comments.

441
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: Scrappy eighty three fifty says, wait, who was the blonde?

442
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 2: How did she get those pictures? Was she hired to

443
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:29,479
Speaker 2: follow him?

444
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 1: Good question?

445
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 3: If so?

446
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 2: Who hired her? OPI she was a friend of his

447
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 2: ex fiance who felt like I shouldn't be kept in

448
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 2: the dark sarcastic pediment. Uh, and you should? And what

449
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 2: did she tell you? You made it so crypti that

450
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 2: he was in the same cafe looking intimate. And what

451
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 2: did you message his family about? Anyways? He sounds controlling

452
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 2: and you sounded like you became someone you aren't or

453
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 2: not to be with him, which means he didn't love you.

454
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 2: As a person. Well done for leaving. Yes, oh be

455
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 2: She told me that all those late night office hours

456
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 2: and work trips was actually them spending time together. Sarcastic

457
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: pediment says, best revenge is to live your best life. Girl,

458
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,880
Speaker 2: Good luck, dang so true.

459
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,120
Speaker 1: Love your best life.

460
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 2: You have to. Oh you're gonna and you will still

461
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 2: find lava.

462
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:25,120
Speaker 5: Bet.

463
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 2: There's a bunch of men on the reddit.

464
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 3: That would love to talk to you, probably hitting you

465
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 3: up already.

466
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like, oh, do worry you want to go

467
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 2: on job?

468
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're gonna bounce back. You're gonna find a

469
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: new job and you're gonna kill it. But that's the

470
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,880
Speaker 1: end of that story. I'm questioning my fiance's parental custody,

471
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 1: so I want to cancel our engagements.

472
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you want?

473
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 1: Custody formation? I forty mail have been seeing Joe at

474
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 1: thirty six female for about eight months, and we recently

475
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:01,439
Speaker 1: became engaged. Wow. She has a fourteen year old daughter, Kelsey,

476
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 1: with her ex husband. Kelsey lived with her father in

477
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 1: another city and only comes to see Joe when she

478
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: gets a vacation from school. So I've only seen her

479
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,719
Speaker 1: a few times, most recently over spring break. By the way,

480
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 1: this comes from deleted on the Okay storytime subured it.

481
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: So I've gotten the impression that Kelsey doesn't especially enjoy

482
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,159
Speaker 1: these visits with her mom. She usually is on the

483
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: phone with her friends or watching videos on TikTok, and

484
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 1: always seems like she wants to go home. She sounds

485
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: annoyed whenever Joe tries to talk to her, even if

486
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: Joe is simply asking Kelsey what she'd like for dinner. Initially,

487
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 1: I dismissed it as simply her going through typical teenage

488
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 1: stuff and that she might feel differently when she gets older.

489
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 1: When Joe and I began dating, she told me that

490
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: she really missed her daughter and that her ex husband

491
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: was an unfit father due to him being a workaholic

492
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: who hardly spent any time with his wife or his

493
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: daughter dang, and that it wasn't fair that he got

494
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,159
Speaker 1: legal custody and she didn't. When we got engaged, she

495
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 1: asked me if I would help her get custody after

496
00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: we got married.

497
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 2: I said yes, Mmmm, what if she could have been

498
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: up here?

499
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if she was actually the unfit to parents? Okay,

500
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 1: but also it doesn't seem like he's noticed anything super

501
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: out of the ordinary, so we told Kelsey the news

502
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 1: of her engagement the most recent time Kelsey visited, after

503
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 1: which she became even more cold towards Joe, flat out

504
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 1: ignoring her when she tried to talk to her. Joe

505
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 1: asked me if I could talk to Kelsey by myself.

506
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: I told her I didn't think it would be a

507
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 1: good idea, but she insisted, so I did. At first,

508
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: Kelsey ignored me and told me to go away. I

509
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: asked her if she could at least tell me why

510
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: she didn't want to talk to her mother, and she

511
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: said it was because her mother was an ore low.

512
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 1: I wonder if the dad the exit saying this stuff.

513
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,160
Speaker 1: I didn't want to upset her further, so I came

514
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 1: back out and told Joe what she said. Joe told

515
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: me that she wasn't surprised that Kelsey said that and

516
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 1: thanked me for trying to talk to her. Once again,

517
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 1: I chalked it up to Kelsey just being a typical teenager. However,

518
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: the other night, I went out with a friend of

519
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 1: mine whom I haven't seen for a while. We were

520
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: catching up and I told him that Joe and I

521
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: were engaged and I was going to help her get

522
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 1: custody of Kelsey. Now, my friend knew that I was

523
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: seeing Joe, but I had never previously mentioned to him

524
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 1: before that she had previously been married and had a

525
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: daughter and was trying to get custody. My friends seem

526
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: shocked by this, and he told me that most of

527
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: the time when parents get divorced, the mom is the

528
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: one who gets primary custody and is in charge of

529
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: all the major decisions regarding parenting, and the fact that

530
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 1: she doesn't have custody is a major red flag, as

531
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: it means she's not a good mother. Now, I don't

532
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 1: know a whole lot about custody arrangements aside from what

533
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 1: Joe had told me, as nobody in my immediate family

534
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 1: has been divorced. However, I was dismissive. However, I was

535
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: dismissive of this too, as my friend can be very opinionated.

536
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: He has even less knowledge about this than I do,

537
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: and he's never been in a serious relationship, which is

538
00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: something he's rather insecure about. I love that he's like, yeah,

539
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 1: he like warmed me, but he's never been in a

540
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 1: serious Malaysia check.

541
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's likely not valid.

542
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know he's insecure about that, but I'm

543
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: gonna bring it up. So aside from being mildly annoyed

544
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: when he said this, I didn't think too much of it,

545
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: and he's always been like this. Joe had told me

546
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: when we first started dating that she had made some

547
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: bad choices in the past, but had learned from her

548
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 1: mistakes and was working hard to be a better person

549
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 1: for the sake of her daughter, and her ex was

550
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: just a big, blank a hole man. However, the more

551
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about it, I'm starting to think that

552
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: there's more to this whole thing than Kelsey simply dealing

553
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: with teenage stuff, and perhaps something happened that has made

554
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 1: Kelsey really resent her mother. I have never met Kelsey's father,

555
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 1: and my opinion of him is entirely based on everything

556
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 1: that Joe has complained about. I assume that Joe's X

557
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: was a deadbeat dad who was spending all of his

558
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: free time getting wasted with his friends, but it actually

559
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 1: sounds like he's a hard worker. And maybe Joe wasn't

560
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: happy about this because he wasn't spending quite as much

561
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: time with his wife and doctor as she would have liked,

562
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: but at the same time was committed to providing his

563
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: family with a roof over their head and money for

564
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: all the necessities, and from what it sounds like, even

565
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 1: some luxuries, such as the occasional trip to Disneyland, it

566
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: sounds like when he wasn't tired from work, he actually

567
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: is a good father.

568
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: I think we have a untrustworthy narrator.

569
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,719
Speaker 1: Well, it seems like op, he's just been misinformed.

570
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think they're screwed, like skewing it.

571
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:31,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I think I think the ope's current fiance

572
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 1: is telling him kind of Yeah, Joe is telling him

573
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: some lives or some half truths, and he's like, oh yeah,

574
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: I mean like we'll get you custody.

575
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 2: It's like we're said the same thing.

576
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, But well, you said untrusting worthy narrator,

577
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 1: which would mean that Ope's untrust rate.

578
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 2: That's what I'm like, not yeah Joe, Joe, Yeah, I agree.

579
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 1: I could be overthinking this, but I don't want to

580
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,959
Speaker 1: be contributing to Kelsey's issue with her mother, especially if

581
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: there's anything going on that Joe hasn't told me about.

582
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: And because of this, I'm considered breaking up with her. WHOA,

583
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: I would have a conversation with her before Yeah, or

584
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: you break it off, especially because she's your fiance.

585
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 2: Fiance called me crazy.

586
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you crazy.

587
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 2: If I hear someone talking really bad about their ex

588
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 2: just like all the time, Yeah, I would probably not

589
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 2: be very interested in that person. Yeah, it's like, oh

590
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 2: my ex did this, it turns out like they were

591
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 2: okay person.

592
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 3: M M.

593
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 1: It is a real flag. But I think it's definitely

594
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: something that you would have to like have a conversation

595
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: with before committing to break just because they're about to

596
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: like their beyonces.

597
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 2: Well, I think they're just thinking about breaking up. They're not, actually,

598
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 2: he says, considering.

599
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to commit to anything without knowing

600
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: what I'm getting myself into before I do.

601
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 4: So.

602
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: I love Joe, but if she's actually an unfit mother,

603
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a position where I'm

604
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 1: having to make excuses for especially if she's in denial

605
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: about it and refuses to get help for whatever issue

606
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: she might be having. I don't want to be part

607
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: of the problems. However, if I were to break up

608
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: with her and it turns out that I'm actually am

609
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: worrying about nothing. She might be too hurt to forgive me.

610
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 1: I already ended one relationship back when I was in

611
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 1: my early twenties because I incorrectly believed that my girlfriend

612
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: at the time was cheating on me, And after we

613
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: had broken up, I discovered that she was actually telling

614
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: the truth when she said she wasn't cheating. She und

615
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: she understandably was too hurt to want to give a

616
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: relationship another try. I don't want to make the same

617
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 1: mistake with Joe, but the situation is very different, as

618
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: she is a kid whom I promised i'd help her

619
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: get custody of and I don't want to break my

620
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: promise unless I absolutely have to. I want to do

621
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 1: the right thing, but I don't know what the right

622
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: thing is. Would I be the angle if I ended

623
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: things now before, I potentially became part of the problem

624
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: rather than the solution. And the solution do all our problems?

625
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 5: Is you?

626
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: Joining us live every weekday at three PMPST on YouTube,

627
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: Facebook and TikTok.

628
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: Just tap a profile, tap, tap, tap, and there is.

629
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: A little bit more. There's another update, but pausing based

630
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: off of his previous relationship, like breaking up with not

631
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 1: the full story. It seems like he's doing that again,

632
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 1: not saying that she, like Joe, is innocent, or even

633
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: that she's you know, a fit mother or whatever.

634
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 2: Like, but he's totally conclusion that all of the content.

635
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like he literally came to this conclusion after

636
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: having a conversation with his friend where he's like, oh, well,

637
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: the courts not giving her custody means that she must

638
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: be an unfit mother. I'm we have no evidence of that.

639
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 2: I am seeing an overthinking spiral.

640
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: Yes, it seems like he's just jumping to conclusions and

641
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: is like, well, I have to break up with her

642
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: before even talking to her, talking to Kelsey, talking to

643
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: the X. There's so many different paths that he could

644
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: go through before jumping to break up. It's he seemingly

645
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 1: has seen besides Kelsey, like not liking her mom. There's

646
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: been no other proof that, Like, it doesn't seem like

647
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: he's seen any bad behavior from Joe. So I think

648
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: he's I think he's jumping a little too quick.

649
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, what do you guys think? Let

650
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: us know?

651
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 3: Update?

652
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: Kelsey came over for the Memorial Day weekend. She brought

653
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: a friend with her, Joe initially was opposed to this,

654
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: but Kelsey refused to come over unless her friend came

655
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: with her, so Joe relented. Her dad dropped them off.

656
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: I tried to talk to her, but she didn't want

657
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 1: to hear it. She once again called her mom a

658
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 1: you know what. I didn't press for any further details.

659
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: We actually had an okay weekend with a barbecue. When

660
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: her dad came to pick him up, I told them.

661
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: I told him that I wanted to know if there

662
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: was anything that Joe wasn't telling me regarding Kelsey. He

663
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: initially was reluctant, but we exchanged contact info and we're

664
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: going to talk about it at some point later in

665
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: the week. So there definitely does seem to be some

666
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 1: stuff that Joe isn't telling me, But I don't know

667
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: if it's anything bad or if it's anything worth calling

668
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: off the engagement over and there is no more.

669
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 2: There's got to be an update.

670
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: This is frustrating, KaiA says. I feel like when people

671
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: jumped to breaking up before the before getting the full story,

672
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: are just looking for a reason to leave the relationship.

673
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: It no and there's nothing else that's so upsetting. I

674
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 1: need information and Also to Kay's point, I feel like,

675
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: normally yes, but it does seem like this is just

676
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: his kind of like avoidant attachment style, like he notices

677
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: one thing and he jumps to conclusions and that he

678
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: gets out of the relationship, especially because like this is

679
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 1: the second time he's doing it where he's not talking

680
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 1: to the partner before jumping out. Definitely needs to have

681
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: a conversation regardless of what the X says. He needs

682
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with Joe because the X has

683
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: his own story that is totally biased because he's an

684
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: ex persa. Grieba says, so he was wrong, why delete it?

685
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: Otherwise that is a good point. He might have been

686
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: totally wrong and he's like, oops, my wife was, my

687
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: fiance was super chill and we're actually fine. Never mind, guys,

688
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: uh read.

689
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: A comments you're saying, I do a background check. This

690
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: one says you're a wild guy and Gaze. After eight

691
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 2: months step kid won't talk to you, you still somewhat

692
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 2: think it's okay for you to jump in and get

693
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 2: custody of the step kid while you won't while they

694
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 2: won't talk to you, and you know less than Jack

695
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: Crab about the situation.

696
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like he's like really in the dark

697
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: bot everything and he's not asking any question.

698
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, he just doesn't like that context.

699
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 4: Yh, my Native Honor's intoxicated boyfriend caused chaos at my wedding.

700
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 3: I shouldn't have invited him.

701
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 5: Where's the chaos controling that?

702
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: Oh?

703
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 3: Nicer reference dog? Oh yeah.

704
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 4: Now, me, twenty six female and my husband, twenty four male,

705
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 4: got married back in October of twenty twenty three. It

706
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 4: was the wedding of my dreams except for what I

707
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 4: heard about my Native Honors boyfriend. But I wanted to

708
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 4: add about the wedding shower first. By the way, this

709
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 4: comes from user creative Unicorn sixteen on the r slash

710
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 4: Okay storytime, So I read it. So so, the day

711
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 4: before the wedding shower, I offered to take her to

712
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 4: the job interview that she had on the Friday before

713
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 4: the Saturday that we had the wedding shower on because

714
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 4: I knew she really needed it job to pay her.

715
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 3: Bills, which is why I offered.

716
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 4: Then, after I dropped her back off at the house,

717
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 4: her boyfriend and her were asking me if they were

718
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 4: allowed to spend the night at my house on the

719
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 4: day of the wedding shower, so I wasn't out too

720
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 4: late at night by taking.

721
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 3: Them home afterwards.

722
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 4: And I said, well, I would have to ask my

723
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 4: parents because it's still their house and I respect their

724
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 4: rules of their house. And plus two, I have my

725
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,800
Speaker 4: one friend who came in from three hours away spending

726
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,320
Speaker 4: the night here already in the guest room, so I

727
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 4: won't have any room for you guys to stay. And

728
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 4: she was like, oh, okay, that's fine. Do you think

729
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 4: you'll be able to give us a ride in the

730
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 4: morning though, or in the afternoon for your wedding shower?

731
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 4: And I told her, I'm not sure because I have

732
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 4: to set up for the wedding shower and I'm going

733
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 4: to be super busy. She said, okay, I'll see if

734
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 4: my boyfriend's mom can take us. So basically the whole time,

735
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 4: I was giving her a fifty to fifty answer, not

736
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 4: a yes or a no. Then the next morning she

737
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 4: texted me and asked, when are you picking us up?

738
00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:59,919
Speaker 4: And I looked at my husband, who was my fea

739
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 4: at the time, and I was like, I gave her

740
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 4: a fifty to fifty answer. If I can come pick

741
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 4: her up or not. But knowing as I'm going to

742
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 4: be the only one helping my mom out today along

743
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 4: with my dad, I'm probably not going to be able

744
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 4: to pick her up. So I was stressed out the

745
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 4: whole day trying to set up for the wedding shower

746
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,280
Speaker 4: because my husband had a meeting to go to, nobody

747
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 4: was able to come over to help me out, and

748
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 4: my mom was stressing me out on top of it

749
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 4: by asking me, did you get this done?

750
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: Did you get that done?

751
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 3: Blah blah blah blahah.

752
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,320
Speaker 4: Then while I was in the middle of trying to

753
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 4: set stuff up, the maid of honor calls me, and

754
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 4: because she lived in an area that didn't have very

755
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 4: good reception, I couldn't really hear what she was saying.

756
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 4: All I heard through the phone was I'm going to

757
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 4: be running late, boyfriend's mom taking us getting a shower

758
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 4: and getting ready. I'll see you soon. So ope, I'm

759
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,280
Speaker 4: gonna call you out right now. Will you don't understand

760
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 4: what someone's saying, You have to let them know, that

761
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 4: says And that's all I heard on the phone, And

762
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 4: I was like thinking in my head that she better

763
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 4: not be coming to my house. Getting a shower and

764
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 4: getting ready here because my parents is not people's personal hotel.

765
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,360
Speaker 4: While I was upstairs in my bathroom getting a shower.

766
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 4: After everything got done, my fiance was in a bathroom

767
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 4: with me, trying to call me down because I was

768
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 4: on the verge of a panic attack because there's just

769
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 4: so much going on at the same time. After the shower,

770
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 4: I found out from my mom that my maid of

771
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 4: honor was at the door with no shirt on, only

772
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 4: a bra and a skirt with her boyfriend and had

773
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,280
Speaker 4: a bottle of tequila in his hand in the doorway.

774
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 4: It's easy to see who's standing there from the kitchen,

775
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 4: and my dad's army buddy of forty plus years saw

776
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 4: that Maide of honor was half neody.

777
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,320
Speaker 3: Basically apparently, she asked my mom.

778
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 4: Where I was, and my mom said she's upstairs getting ready,

779
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 4: and Maid of Honor was like, oh, can I use

780
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 4: the bathroom downstairs? And my mom was like sure, And

781
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 4: later on my mom asked me, did she ask you

782
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 4: if she could use our shower because her and her

783
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,240
Speaker 4: boyfriend got a shower downstairs in the basement.

784
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 3: I said no, I didn't tell her anything. I can't

785
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 3: believe she did that. Fast forward to.

786
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 4: A little bit later, me growing up in a household

787
00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 4: where it's polite to bring like at least a bag

788
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 4: of ships or a big bottle of soda to a

789
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 4: gathering or a party you've been invited to. So me

790
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 4: not thinking anything of it, I thought her boyfriend brought

791
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 4: the bottle of tequila as a housewarming gift. And the

792
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 4: boy was I wrong, because he drank that whole bottle

793
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 4: by himself throughout the duration of the party.

794
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 3: Dude, what is that? Who brings a personal bottle to

795
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,240
Speaker 3: a wedding shower?

796
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 5: Do you not share it? You're like, all right, cheers, guys,

797
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 5: you don't even pour it, You just like drink from

798
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 5: the bottle. He just sounds gross. He sounds really gross.

799
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 3: This is a gross guy.

800
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 4: Once the wedding shower was over, her boyfriend was going

801
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,439
Speaker 4: through this depressive episode and was super wasted. I was thinking,

802
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,800
Speaker 4: in my head, you know, these people have to go home,

803
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 4: So I made sure to leave the house early enough

804
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 4: to make sure that they got home because I simply

805
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 4: just didn't want to deal with it anymore. While we

806
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 4: were on the road taking them home and me being

807
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 4: hard of hearing, I can't really hear very well behind me.

808
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,240
Speaker 4: According to my husband, my maid of honors boyfriend opened

809
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 4: up a can oooz in my back seat and was

810
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 4: drinking it in my car. If I was pulled over

811
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 4: for any reason, I probably could have gotten in way

812
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 4: more trouble because of an open container in my car.

813
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 4: This was one of the reasons I didn't want to

814
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 4: invite Maid of Honor's boyfriend to the wedding, and my

815
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 4: parents agreed with me too because they did not want

816
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 4: him there as well. But they also agreed with me

817
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,800
Speaker 4: that it would be weird that Maid of Honor was

818
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 4: the only one who was not allowed to have a

819
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 4: date to the wedding while everyone else was able to Guess.

820
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 5: What at the end of the day, you know what

821
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 5: I say, it's your wedding. It's your rules.

822
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 3: Yep, your wedding, your rules. That's the law of the land.

823
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:27,280
Speaker 1: Ms is the rules.

824
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 5: Unfortunately you don't like it, stay out of it.

825
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 4: So that's why I don't really talk to her anymore

826
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 4: because looking back on everything that happened and her asking

827
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 4: me for all of these things. I had to pay

828
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 4: for her bride'smaid dresses, which I didn't get paid for

829
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 4: until about a year after the fact, and just her

830
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 4: using me as her personal chauffeur. After reflecting on all

831
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 4: the times we rode together, and I felt like, that's

832
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 4: not a real friend and I should have just made

833
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 4: my matron of honor to be my maid of honor

834
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 4: if I knew this was how it was going to

835
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,799
Speaker 4: go down. Personally, I feel like I should have put

836
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 4: my foot down more with her, But me being a

837
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 4: people pleaser, it was really hard for me to do

838
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 4: that at the time, which is fair.

839
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 3: It's hard to step out of your comfort zone very and.

840
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 4: I also didn't want to deal with more drama than

841
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 4: I was already dealing with because of the wedding. Yeah,

842
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 4: you also don't want to make drama at your own event.

843
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 4: Fast forward to around our wedding day. Prior to the wedding,

844
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 4: I never liked my maid of Honor's boyfriend and never

845
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 4: would I like him, and I did not want to

846
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 4: invite him, but she would have been the only guest

847
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 4: without a plus one. On the day of Maid of

848
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 4: honor brought her boyfriend with her. The same morning we

849
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 4: were all getting ready. My bride'smaid, who drove three to

850
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 4: four hours for the wedding had to go get maid

851
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 4: of honor and her boyfriend because they didn't have a car,

852
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 4: and my maid of honor was trying to ask me

853
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 4: to give her a ride the day of what How

854
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:45,760
Speaker 4: crazy do you have to be to ask the bride

855
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 4: to give you a ride on the day of her wedding.

856
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 5: I mean, come on, we already know, like they're crazy.

857
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 3: It's absurd. It's like, you know, you're thoughtless.

858
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 4: Obviously, my bride's maid said no, I'll get her because

859
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 4: it's your day. The maid of honor gets there and

860
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 4: I found out from my husband that my maid of

861
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 4: honor just dumped her boyfriend off on him and the

862
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 4: other grooms men while they were getting ready instead of

863
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 4: asking if he could hang out. Don't do that, yeah,

864
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 4: especially because like nobody knows this guy and he's well,

865
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 4: he can't tell someone that the person they're dating is

866
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 4: like hard to be around. It's like, that's a hard conversation.

867
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 4: My husband said that later on that the boyfriend was

868
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 4: whining and saying I should have been a groomsman over

869
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 4: and over again, and my husband was like, dude, I

870
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 4: barely know you. Yeah, I can imagine him there with

871
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 4: this bottle of nameless tequila because we don't do free

872
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 4: sponsors here and he's just sitting there at the bottle

873
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 4: like man, I should have been a grooms man.

874
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 5: Man, who are you?

875
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 3: Also? What is your name?

876
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 4: What year is it? All I know is your name

877
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 4: is boyfriend. When my maid of honor comes upstairs, everything

878
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 4: seemed fine. We're all having fun drinking and jamming out

879
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 4: to some music. Cut to the ceremony. We had a

880
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 4: beer man instead of a flower girl because there were

881
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 4: too many littles to be a flower girl or a

882
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 4: ring bearer. Our beer man had had shots handed out,

883
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 4: and I found out later that the boyfriend took many

884
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 4: people's for them because they didn't want them.

885
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like boyfriend abuses alcohol.

886
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 5: Not gonna lie, huh, A little bit, a lot of it?

887
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 3: Like sounds like it.

888
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 4: Yes, I know this was a mistake of ours, but

889
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 4: we did the TikTok trend of beer man at our

890
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,439
Speaker 4: wedding because my husband had a little brother that could

891
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 4: have been our ring bearer, but my aunt's four kids,

892
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 4: two females and two males, could have also been one

893
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 4: as well, So we leveled the playing field by just

894
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 4: doing a modern day beer Man, such a good call

895
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 4: to prevent any sort of like, well, my little Jimmy

896
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 4: should have been the ring bear. It's like, no, my

897
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 4: little Ricky should have done it. Yeah, it's like, God,

898
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,800
Speaker 4: what a nightmare that would be. Fast forward to the pictures.

899
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 4: After the ceremony, all the wedding party went back inside

900
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 4: and it was just me and my husband and my

901
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 4: two bridesmaids, but they hung in the back in case

902
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 4: I needed help with my dress, and no maid of honor. Normally,

903
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 4: the maid of honor is supposed to hang back with

904
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 4: you to help you with anything, but she didn't.

905
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 3: She was more worried about her boyfriend. Also, he deemed fine.

906
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 4: And my two bridesmaids came upstairs with me before the

907
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 4: reception to help switch me into my sneakers, and the

908
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 4: one bridesmaid was sowing my sleeve back on because it

909
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 4: was starting to rip.

910
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 5: Why were none of these girls you're made of honor.

911
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 1: I don't know.

912
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 5: They has learned they deserve this honor more than the

913
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 5: maid of honor herself. I guess maybe she just really

914
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 5: likes the maid of honor, but not when she's dating

915
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 5: a boy like this.

916
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 1: I don't know.

917
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 4: I do know people who are completely different when they're

918
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 4: single versus when they're dating somebody, And it's hard to

919
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 4: navigate because they'll switch up on you like that.

920
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 5: They morph into a different person with that that partner, right,

921
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 5: and it's usually like a codependent thing and then it

922
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 5: gets Grossah. All of a sudden, my mom came into

923
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 5: the room furious and irritated, which caught me off guard.

924
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 5: She said, I'm just letting you know right now that

925
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 5: there is a lot of crap happening downstairs right now

926
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 5: and that I am not happy about. And I am

927
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 5: not going to explain anything because I don't want to

928
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 5: ruin your day.

929
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 4: And I was like, ohkay, and then she's stormed off

930
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 4: back downstairs.

931
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 5: Guys, what do I She doesn't want to wear my day,

932
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 5: but it's kind of.

933
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 3: Ruined right now.

934
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 4: She just ruined it by yelling at me. Fast forward

935
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 4: to dinner. I'm eating my dinner with green beans and

936
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 4: steak the whole time made of honor was complaining about

937
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 4: how wasted her boyfriend is not apologizing about his behavior

938
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 4: at all, and I'm over here trying to enjoy myself

939
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 4: and have it go in one ear and write out

940
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 4: the other One of my bridesmaids saw this happening, so

941
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 4: she directed Made of Honor's attention to her so I

942
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,720
Speaker 4: can eat and not worry about the drama. I didn't

943
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 4: find out everything that happened the night of the wedding

944
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 4: until my husband told me at our hotel. Maid of

945
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 4: Honor's boyfriend got wasted from all of the shots and

946
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 4: the open bar, I think sarcastically, she says they're really

947
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 4: good at cutting people off.

948
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 3: The boyfriend pete his pants while passed.

949
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 4: Out on a bench, and Made of Honor had to

950
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 4: go take care of that during the time I was

951
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 4: getting sneakers on upstairs.

952
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 5: Who is this manchild?

953
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 4: This man has alcoholic tendencies and needs to have them addressed.

954
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,320
Speaker 4: And again, it's still not good. But it would be

955
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 4: different if this also wasn't an event where he basically

956
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 4: knows nobody. Can you imagine getting that?

957
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 5: Oh, I would cut off the friend and the friends

958
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 5: are apologizing for any.

959
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 4: Of this, by the way, in my opinion, like the

960
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 4: person needs to apologize this is clearly the boyfriend. I mean,

961
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,280
Speaker 4: the friend can be like, I'm sorry for his behavior,

962
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 4: but what does that mean? That means nothing. She's not

963
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 4: the one doing that.

964
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 5: You're the maid of honor. It's an honor if anything.

965
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, she should be apologizing for being absent from those

966
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 4: duties anyway. The staff members also had to lock him

967
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 4: in a room at one point because he was getting

968
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 4: too rowdy and wasted for.

969
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 3: The guests to enjoy themselves. Never be that guy. During

970
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 3: the dancing time of the wedding.

971
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 4: He was inappropriately interacting with the staff members, the owner

972
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 4: of the venue, and some of our family members. You

973
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 4: know it's bad if my author, whom I edited books for,

974
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 4: wanted to have a few words for him, mind you.

975
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 3: I never liked the guy.

976
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 4: I told Native Honor I didn't like him beforehand, but

977
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 4: I would give him a chance to be civil with

978
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 4: him in the same room. And my parents sided with me,

979
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 4: not wanting to invite him. But she would have been

980
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 4: the only person to not be allowed A plus one

981
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 4: and I found out for my brother in law that

982
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 4: my best friend in law and brother in law were

983
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 4: taking my maid of honor and her boyfriend home that

984
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 4: same night, and she was apologizing to them about her

985
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 4: boyfriend's behavior. My best friend in law told me this

986
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 4: and said that she should have been apologizing to me

987
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,839
Speaker 4: and my husband instead of them, which is true.

988
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:25,880
Speaker 5: So yeah, that's the like, thank you, captain obvious. I

989
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 5: don't know why that has to be like pointed out.

990
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 3: I'd like to point something out.

991
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 4: You can join us every single weekday at three PMPST

992
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:37,760
Speaker 4: when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, Twitch.

993
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 3: Just tap our profiles.

994
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,320
Speaker 1: I did it or in I just did it.

995
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 5: It was so easy.

996
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 4: All of you listeners out there, give us a tap

997
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 4: and check us out. We might have been live right now.

998
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 4: But before you go check on that, let's collect our

999
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 4: thoughts and finish this story.

1000
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 5: So thus are collected, and I'm upset. I'm upset.

1001
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 3: Who is this guy?

1002
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 5: Like? I am getting second hay embarrassment for the maid

1003
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 5: of honor. This guy, you're not like a family function,

1004
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:03,400
Speaker 5: but at a wedding.

1005
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, where a wedding, Dude, a wedding.

1006
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:07,320
Speaker 4: I get it.

1007
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 3: It happens.

1008
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,280
Speaker 5: People do get a little little cruky.

1009
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 3: This isn't even like the actor, this is like, this

1010
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 3: is like the ceremony.

1011
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 5: This is embarrassing.

1012
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, personally, if my husband would have acted out like that,

1013
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 4: I would have apologized or even had a conversation with

1014
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 4: him before the wedding. Saying, Hey, this is my friend's wedding.

1015
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 4: We need to be respectful of their wishes and make

1016
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 4: sure they have a good day. I guess what really

1017
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 4: brought this up was I felt she was trying to

1018
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 4: take advantage of me with rides and my home, et cetera.

1019
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 4: So am I the ahle for not talking to my

1020
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 4: maid of honor anymore instantly because of not asking her

1021
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 4: boyfriend to be respectful at her friend's wedding. Also, I

1022
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 4: understand I shouldn't have invited him if I didn't want to,

1023
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 4: even my parents didn't want to. But maid of honor

1024
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:52,439
Speaker 4: would have been the only person out of eighty people

1025
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 4: to not be allowed a guest, and my parents understood why. Well, sometimes,

1026
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 4: oh Pete, you got to stand on business. It's your wedding,

1027
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 4: your rules. Remember how your boyfriend got at the wedding shower.

1028
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 5: Don't want to met my wedding, or at least you

1029
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 5: could have made like that very proact of like he

1030
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 5: needs to be on his best behavior.

1031
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, he cannot over consume that needs to be in

1032
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,439
Speaker 3: this What that didn't happen?

1033
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:15,880
Speaker 4: So again, I guess this is another case of a

1034
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 4: great way to get ahead of a lot of problems

1035
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 4: interpersonally with other people in your life is to just

1036
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,320
Speaker 4: have a conversation, even if it feels hard, if it

1037
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,959
Speaker 4: feels awkward, if it feels scary, have that conversation because

1038
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 4: it's gonna save you so much energy in the long run.

1039
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:33,240
Speaker 5: Rip off that bandid.

1040
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story.

1041
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 5: My friend stood me up multiple times already, so I

1042
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:42,399
Speaker 5: stopped showing uptop the current situation. I met my best

1043
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 5: friend let's call her Peregrine on bumble BFF during the

1044
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 5: pandemic lockdowns of twenty twenty.

1045
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 3: Ooh, Lord of the rings, name Peregrine took Okay.

1046
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 5: Because of that, I'm gonna call her Perry for short.

1047
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:58,920
Speaker 5: Perry was having her party yesterday Sunday, September fifteenth. She

1048
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 5: said out invites at the end of August, and there

1049
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 5: was a dress code theme that matched the venue of

1050
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 5: the restaurant we would all be eating at. By the way,

1051
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,800
Speaker 5: this comes from user a limpie as Burner on the

1052
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 5: ar Slash show Kase Storytime subreddit. So it was a

1053
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 5: pretty specific dress code and not within my normal princess esthetic.

1054
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 5: So I had to go to five different thrift stores

1055
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 5: over the past two weeks to get everything for my outfit.

1056
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 5: I texted her two days before the party when I

1057
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 5: found the last piece of my outfit about what an

1058
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 5: adventure it was finding everything and I was curious to

1059
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 5: see everyone else's outfits. I didn't get a response. I

1060
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,479
Speaker 5: texted her the morning of the party around ten am

1061
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 5: about how excited I was to see her and catch up.

1062
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 5: I left my place to carry on with the rest

1063
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,359
Speaker 5: of my plans for the day and had to take

1064
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 5: my party outfit with me because of how long the

1065
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 5: bus ride is, I wouldn't have time to come back

1066
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,720
Speaker 5: home and change all throughout the day, she never texted

1067
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:48,479
Speaker 5: me back. I started on my way to her party

1068
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 5: at three point fifty and texted her I would be

1069
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,720
Speaker 5: a few minutes late due to the bus. The party

1070
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 5: was starting at six. I rode over two hours on

1071
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 5: the bus in a rush hour traffic and showed up

1072
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 5: to the restaurant at six Zho nine in my ridiculous outfit.

1073
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 5: I just give me a weird look and said table

1074
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 5: for one. I said, no, I'm here for the reservation

1075
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 5: for parry at six pm. I assumed it would be

1076
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 5: implied that I would be with the group that was

1077
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 5: in similar ridiculous outfits. She tapped away on her ibend

1078
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 5: and said, oh, the only reservation for Parry was canceled.

1079
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 3: Oh, come on Parry.

1080
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, okay, and called Parry to figure

1081
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 5: out what was going on. The phone rang and rang,

1082
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 5: and went to voicemail. I chexted her saying I was

1083
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 5: at the restaurant and they were saying her reservation was canceled.

1084
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 5: I waited a few minutes for a response, then tried

1085
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:37,439
Speaker 5: calling her back again, but same thing. It just rang

1086
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 5: until I got her voicemail. Wow.

1087
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 3: So okay.

1088
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 4: So in this situation, I'm either really nervous because I'm like,

1089
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 4: I'm nervous for my friend, what's going on?

1090
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 3: Is everyone okay? Or I'm just like viciously angry.

1091
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 5: I'm confused. That's my tack. I'm very confused. I'm like,

1092
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 5: what is going on?

1093
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 3: Anyone who's standing you up like this is clearly not

1094
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 3: your friend. That's the only thing I need to know.

1095
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 5: I was getting really anxious and catastroprizing because I hadn't

1096
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 5: heard from her, and I was worried that I had

1097
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,760
Speaker 5: missed the signs and something was seriously wrong. About halfway

1098
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 5: through my bus ride home, she messaged me on Snapchat saying, hey,

1099
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 5: sorry I missed your call.

1100
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:15,760
Speaker 3: I was asleep.

1101
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 5: I texted you about the party being canceled and didn't

1102
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 5: notice that you never saw it. Then she inserts a

1103
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 5: screenshot of a message she sent to my throwaway Instagram

1104
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 5: account that I literally never use, not the one we

1105
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 5: normally communicate on and I check every day.

1106
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 3: She said, Oops, I sent you a message.

1107
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:35,280
Speaker 1: Oops.

1108
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 5: She had the audacity to message you on Snapchat and

1109
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 5: not call you back nor message you back.

1110
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is like you were not asleep. I don't

1111
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:43,840
Speaker 3: believe you.

1112
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 5: I was just so exhausted in that moment. I sent

1113
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 5: a thumbs up reaction and all good. I'm on the

1114
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 5: bus now headed home.

1115
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 3: She can you do?

1116
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 5: You blow up my phone the whole rest of my

1117
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 5: bus ride, and I was honestly just really mad. I

1118
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 5: got home at eight seventeen pm, tired and starving, and

1119
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 5: when I was a bit or calm, I read her messages.

1120
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 5: She said there was some event happening downtown tomorrow, not today,

1121
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 5: Monday the sixteenth, that she wanted to go with me

1122
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 5: and a couple other friends. I said sure and asked

1123
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 5: what time everyone was going and she said she would

1124
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 5: get back to me. I was expecting a response to

1125
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,480
Speaker 5: that same day, but instead I got a text from

1126
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 5: her at eleven seventeen the day of, saying they were

1127
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 5: going to be there.

1128
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 3: At noon, plenty of time.

1129
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 5: I was instantly pissed again because it's about a one

1130
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 5: hour bus ride downtown, so this isn't enough notice for

1131
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,959
Speaker 5: me to get there on time, unless it's a twenty

1132
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 5: five to thirty dollars uber, which I can't afford. And

1133
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 5: again I wasn't planning on doing that. I have a

1134
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 5: feeling that she forgot to text me back until she

1135
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,800
Speaker 5: was on the bus and on the way herself. I

1136
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 5: responded saying I would not be there. Her birthday party

1137
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 5: has been rescheduled to next weekend, and I'm not really

1138
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 5: interested in going or doing anything with her until she

1139
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 5: gets her act together. I'm not sure if a conversation

1140
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 5: would be productive, and I don't want her to feel

1141
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 5: like I'm judging or attacking her for having mental health issues.

1142
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 5: At this point, I'm so exhausted, I kind of want

1143
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 5: to just cut her off and move on. We have

1144
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 5: a background due to the global situation at the time

1145
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,279
Speaker 5: we met. We mostly texted, video chatted, etc. To stay

1146
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 5: in touch through regular phone or through Snapchat, and we

1147
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 5: sent memes back and forth on Instagram. As the year

1148
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 5: went on and restrictions were lifted, we had trouble finding

1149
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 5: the time to meet up in person. We were both

1150
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 5: in UNI at the time, but once to different schools,

1151
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 5: so we live on opposite ends of the city. We

1152
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 5: both rely on public transportation, which is really inefficient in

1153
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:32,359
Speaker 5: our city, and ubers, which are pretty expensive. It would

1154
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 5: be about a two and a half hour bus ride

1155
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,319
Speaker 5: or about a sixty dollars uber for us to get

1156
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 5: to each other's neighborhoods. That sucks. While trying to find

1157
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 5: the time for our first meetup, she opened up more

1158
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 5: about struggling with her mental health and how she may

1159
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 5: go for extended periods of time without responding and then

1160
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 5: pick up again out of the blue. I was very

1161
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,759
Speaker 5: understanding because I can also be like that due to

1162
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 5: my own mental health and neurodiversens It has happened countless

1163
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 5: times where we will make plans and parry cancels at

1164
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:01,399
Speaker 5: the last minute or very short notice. So we only

1165
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 5: met for the first time in person in twenty twenty two,

1166
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 5: two years into our friendship. What I mean, I guess okay,

1167
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 5: doesn't sound like a friendship. It sounds like a ship

1168
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 5: that's about to sail. Once that first meeting was out

1169
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 5: of the way, she was a little bit better at

1170
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 5: sticking to plans and we were able to hang out

1171
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 5: at least once a month. But you know, what I

1172
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 5: would like for you guys to do is to hang

1173
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:26,800
Speaker 5: out with us every day at three pm PSD. Just

1174
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 5: you know, on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, TikTok just tap our profile.

1175
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 4: You know, we might even be live right now, depending

1176
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,320
Speaker 4: on if you're watching this in the future, which you

1177
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 4: definitely are because this isn't live. But before you go

1178
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:43,560
Speaker 4: and check on that, let's finish our thoughts here because

1179
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 4: I've had, like I guess, quasi like sort of parasocial

1180
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 4: relationships with people online, you know, like playing video games,

1181
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 4: but like two years to have never met your someone

1182
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 4: you call a friend in person is like, that's kind

1183
00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 4: of wild.

1184
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 5: Especially when you're literally not I mean, two hours by

1185
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 5: bus is a lot, but sixty dollars uber, I get

1186
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 5: a lot, so I get it. But you guys are

1187
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 5: within the same city. You guys can have like a

1188
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 5: midway point.

1189
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,839
Speaker 4: I mean well, it sounds like she's at a point

1190
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 4: in her life when and I think a lot of

1191
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 4: young people can relate to this where it's like you

1192
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 4: go through a phase where it's like every you know,

1193
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 4: possible phone call is just like an anxiety trigger and

1194
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 4: like you really you kind of go reclusive, you mean,

1195
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 4: you stay inside. It's like it's just everything I don't

1196
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:30,839
Speaker 4: know definitely happened to me. I can relate to being

1197
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,439
Speaker 4: like oh I was asleep, I was in asleep. I'm sorry,

1198
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 4: or like oh I was I wasn't.

1199
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 5: That's with me.

1200
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 4: The root of it, though, if you like, just comes

1201
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,320
Speaker 4: from like it's nothing to do with ope. It's just

1202
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:42,759
Speaker 4: like Perry's got her own, got her own stuff, she's

1203
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:45,880
Speaker 4: worried through. She doesn't think she's good enough to hang Probably,

1204
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,400
Speaker 4: I don't know, Potentially, I don't know.

1205
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:49,880
Speaker 5: I don't like Perry because what she's doing is selfish.

1206
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 5: Like I said earlier, she took everyone's time, and she's like, yeah,

1207
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 5: I'll take your time and your stress. You stayed on

1208
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,399
Speaker 5: that bus, opie for what two hours or an hour

1209
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 5: and a half to get there and then gotta go back.

1210
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 5: You could be doing something so much more productive and

1211
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 5: you got embarrassed because you went there by yourself, and

1212
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 5: you're like, uh, I didn't.

1213
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 3: Know exactly he took all that time to get ready.

1214
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 5: The fact that Perry didn't apologize, Oh I'm so sorry.

1215
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 5: It was like, hey, I messaged you.

1216
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 3: Well, gave all this circles back into like exactly what

1217
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,360
Speaker 3: you just said, which is like Perry's being selfish, and

1218
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 3: it's like it's selfish behavior to like sort of seclude

1219
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 3: yourself off, like insulate yourself from like your friends, if

1220
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 3: you like, or like just like ghost people and just

1221
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 3: like kind of fall the face of the earth and

1222
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 3: then just like come back and then you don't have

1223
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 3: to deal with anything else that was going on at

1224
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 3: that time because you're only just dealing with yourself.

1225
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:39,360
Speaker 5: That's what Perry's doing. Yeah, and she doesn't take anyone

1226
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 5: else into account for and that's selfish itself.

1227
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 4: Really, it doesn't necessarily make her a bad person. She's

1228
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 4: just going through a point in her life right now.

1229
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 5: Where she's very smalkish, yeah, and communication is very hard

1230
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 5: for her. So you got to call her out on

1231
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 5: it and be like, hey.

1232
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 4: I would bet every single dollar that I have to

1233
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 4: my name that they are in their late teen's early twenties,

1234
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 4: every last dollar, every one of.

1235
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,879
Speaker 5: Them, no, no age demographic. I was gonna say young,

1236
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 5: they are.

1237
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 4: Late teens, early twenties, or I am completely at zero zero,

1238
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 4: zero dollars in my bank account.

1239
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,439
Speaker 5: But I would cut contact. I would call her out

1240
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 5: and communicate, Hey, what you're doing to me, You're probably

1241
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 5: doing to more people. You need to stop it, or

1242
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:23,280
Speaker 5: you're gonna have no friends.

1243
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 3: What do we always keep coming back to today? Communication?

1244
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:32,399
Speaker 4: You got to voice your opinions about people's behavior if

1245
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 4: it's impacting you, especially if they're your friends. If they're

1246
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 4: a stranger, right, there's nothing you can do about a stranger.

1247
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 4: Why would you even carry.

1248
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 5: If you care about my friends, let them freaking know

1249
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:44,399
Speaker 5: anybody who's in your life.

1250
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 1: So back to it.

1251
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 5: As time is gone, she's gotten less responsive over text,

1252
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 5: and we see each other less frequently. The last time

1253
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:52,759
Speaker 5: I saw her was in July when I bumped into

1254
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 5: her at the nail salon downtown because we both happen

1255
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:58,279
Speaker 5: to have appointments around the same time. The last time

1256
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 5: I saw intentionally was in January. Addition to note, my

1257
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 5: birthday was in February and she didn't respond to my invitation,

1258
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:07,799
Speaker 5: show up or even wish me a happy birthday at

1259
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 5: any point. And you know what, that's not your friend.

1260
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:10,759
Speaker 5: She doesn't care.

1261
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 1: That's not your friend.

1262
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 3: That's not your friend. That's doujo. That's not your friend.

1263
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,040
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, no, no no no. She's

1264
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 3: not your friend.

1265
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 1: She not your fendie.

1266
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 5: No you op, move on. You don't need her. She

1267
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 5: shows no interest in you. It's very obvious. If she's

1268
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 5: going through her mental issues, that's one thing. But if

1269
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 5: she's not doing it with you, like wanting your help,

1270
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 5: let her do her own thing. She doesn't need you.

1271
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 5: You don't need her. Easy.

1272
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 4: My friend keeps comparing her marriage to mine, so I

1273
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 4: told her my husband.

1274
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:42,919
Speaker 2: Is just better.

1275
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 5: It's a skill issue.

1276
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 4: My friend, let's call her Sarah, has always had a

1277
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 4: lot of relationship issues with her now husband. When they

1278
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 4: were still dating, they were on and off, and after

1279
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 4: ten years she gave him an ultimatum, propose or it's over.

1280
00:57:57,200 --> 00:58:00,040
Speaker 4: He gave her what I think is a shut up.

1281
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 3: Bring and they've been married for two years now.

1282
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,400
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user Oka Sherry ninety

1283
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 4: eight thirty five on the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit.

1284
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 4: So me and my husband also had a long dating period,

1285
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 4: but we decided on getting married after a year.

1286
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 3: We just didn't have the money.

1287
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 4: Weddings are super expensive when you have a big family,

1288
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 4: so we worked hard, bought a house, and only after

1289
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 4: we had some extra money, we had a very small ceremony. Overall,

1290
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 4: we quote unquote dated for eight years and got married

1291
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 4: on our ten year anniversary. Because of that, Sarah believes

1292
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 4: our situation is the same aka the shut Up Ring.

1293
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 4: So she comes to me with all of her relationship issues,

1294
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 4: thinking I have some magic solution to all of them.

1295
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 4: Let me give you some examples. Her husband never cleans,

1296
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 4: literally throws trash on the floor for her to pick up.

1297
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 4: Mine not only cleans after himself, but in general does

1298
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:54,919
Speaker 4: what he sees needs to be done. Well, I feel

1299
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 4: like they're just like flexing like Pokemon. My Pokemon does

1300
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 4: this signs of normal type?

1301
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 3: Oh you have a normal type Pokemon. That's crazy. I

1302
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 3: have a dragon type Pokemon.

1303
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 4: Hers hides his phone, comments on Instagram pics of hot women,

1304
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 4: and in general acts suspicious.

1305
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 3: Mine doesn't. We have each other's passwords.

1306
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 4: Hers says weekends are for the boys, he's literally forty

1307
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 4: what boys mine likes spending time with me really quick,

1308
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 4: though hers is extremely critical and mine very affectionate. Overall,

1309
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 4: it also means her husband and mine dislike each other.

1310
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 4: Mine thinks hers is disrespectful and immature. In general, I

1311
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 4: wouldn't say too much, because it is her life to

1312
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 4: do as she pleases, but she makes it my problem.

1313
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 3: She keeps asking, how did you make your husband cook?

1314
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:44,120
Speaker 4: How did you force your husband to spend time with

1315
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 4: you and the one that made me break my silence recently?

1316
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 4: How did you convince your husband to be nice? Mine

1317
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 4: is so critical and I can't convince him to change.

1318
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,720
Speaker 4: How did you get yours to accept your weight gain?

1319
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 4: I think what broke me is the assumption that my

1320
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 4: husband is mean naturally and he needed me changing him

1321
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 4: to be kind. So I finally straight up told her

1322
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 4: she will never have as happy a marriage with him

1323
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 4: as I have with my love, specifically because she married

1324
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 4: someone who doesn't even like her much less love her.

1325
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 4: I told her she can't change trash into gold by force,

1326
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 4: and to have a marriage like mine, she needs a

1327
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 4: husband like mine. I also said that she's naive and

1328
01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 4: dumb if she thinks her husband will change because he

1329
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 4: doesn't care about her enough to even change his underwear

1330
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 4: every day. Yeah, that's also a problem, and that if

1331
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 4: at this point she stays, then her unhappiness is her

1332
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 4: own dang fault.

1333
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:38,840
Speaker 3: Obviously she got angry.

1334
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:42,479
Speaker 5: At her the husband, No, she did she Why would

1335
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 5: she get angry at that, oh, Pete or the husband?

1336
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 4: Sometimes I like to say, you know, some people need

1337
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 4: the cold water, right, but you didn't give her cold water.

1338
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 3: You gave her like boiling hot.

1339
01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 4: Like if you leave like a cup in the microwave

1340
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,400
Speaker 4: for five minutes, black coffee.

1341
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just throw that all over her. And now

1342
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 3: you're like, why is she made?

1343
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:02,280
Speaker 2: What did I do?

1344
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 4: Obviously she got angry. There is a reason I didn't

1345
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 4: tell her that before. She always assumed our situations were

1346
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 4: the same and was blind to how different our partners were.

1347
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 3: I tried to warn her after.

1348
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 4: He proposed without a ring and told her to buy

1349
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 4: it herself because he can't read her mind and know

1350
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 4: what she likes. Who don't marry that guy? But that

1351
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 4: led to a fight and her asking me to keep

1352
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:28,160
Speaker 4: my opinions to myself. Even our mutual friends think I'm cruel.

1353
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 4: Because she is just desperate and at the end of

1354
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 4: her rope. I told them that if that's true, she

1355
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 4: needs to cut the rope that holds him. I can't

1356
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 4: listen to her complain about the same thing anymore. But

1357
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 4: they told me I'm a bad friend to her because

1358
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:44,800
Speaker 4: we need to support her and maybe one day she

1359
01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 4: will leave him.

1360
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 5: You're being a better friend than they are. They're supporting it.

1361
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,640
Speaker 5: They're like, oh, yeah, he's a bad guy. He's the best,

1362
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,000
Speaker 5: but you know, you gotta support her.

1363
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 4: Another perfect example of how people are reluctant to communicate

1364
01:01:56,720 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 4: things that are maybe hard or potentially difficult to say, Like,

1365
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:04,840
Speaker 4: you're the better friend than these people. These people telling

1366
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 4: you're a bad friend are completely on the wrong side.

1367
01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:09,080
Speaker 5: You're telling her this straight, honest truth.

1368
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 3: I mean, you could have.

1369
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:13,479
Speaker 4: Told her the truth nicer in reality, Like you giving

1370
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,920
Speaker 4: her a dose of reality is better than all her

1371
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 4: friends being like.

1372
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 3: Maybe one day she'll leave him. That's actually insane.

1373
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, those friends suck, But I can't keep my mouth

1374
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 4: shut when she keeps assuming my partner is the same

1375
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:29,360
Speaker 4: as hers, But I somehow magically changed his entire personality.

1376
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 4: He deserves more credit than that and hers honestly shouldn't

1377
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 4: even be in the same category in my opinion, And honestly,

1378
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:38,920
Speaker 4: how long can a person listen to the same issues

1379
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 4: over and over again and still give support after that

1380
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 4: many years of negativity?

1381
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 1: So am I the A hole?

1382
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 3: And we do have an update.

1383
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna say right now my judgment is kind

1384
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 4: of not because of you giving her reality, but it

1385
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 4: was because of the way that you did it, Like

1386
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 4: you needed it that with a more gentle approach you

1387
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 4: wouldn't be in ah. But the way you did it, yeah,

1388
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 4: you kind of just like nuclear slam dunked on your friend.

1389
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:07,120
Speaker 5: Your friend is not an a hole. Your friend is

1390
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 5: just misguided and just lost in a relationship that she's

1391
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:11,320
Speaker 5: just stagged in.

1392
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:15,600
Speaker 3: For her, the a hole is her husband. I mean sure,

1393
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 3: between the two of them, Yeah sure, But in.

1394
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:21,120
Speaker 5: This case between you two both no, I don't know.

1395
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 4: No, I'm saying it was op because of the execution

1396
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 4: of the slam dunk. You could have just laid it

1397
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 4: in and said, hey, your husband is bad, but instead

1398
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 4: you were like, you've made it more about her than

1399
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 4: about the husband. You were like, never more dumb for

1400
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:41,840
Speaker 4: marrying him. It was your mistake. He doesn't like you,

1401
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 4: he's you're bad.

1402
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:46,800
Speaker 5: Like I could imagine from Op's standpoint that she has

1403
01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 5: probably said this time and time again.

1404
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 3: No, she's at the end of her rope.

1405
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 5: She said, so yeah, like you're a broken record.

1406
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:55,080
Speaker 3: I know it's not bare, sometimes it is what it is.

1407
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 5: Listen, have I heard the same thing over and over again?

1408
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 5: I'm like, how do you make him so good?

1409
01:03:59,400 --> 01:03:59,960
Speaker 3: How do you do it?

1410
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 5: I don't know. Maybe you'll leave him and find someone better.

1411
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 5: And that's what, honestly, OPI did.

1412
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:08,800
Speaker 4: Only because so many people assume that I never said anything,

1413
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 4: and it was literally the first time I ever spoke

1414
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 4: to her about her relationship being toxic. One I said

1415
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 4: in this post that I did say something, but she

1416
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 4: directly told me not to give her more advice. But

1417
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:21,120
Speaker 4: I'll attach my reply in a different comment. Have you,

1418
01:04:21,200 --> 01:04:23,880
Speaker 4: at any point before that confrontation explained to your friend

1419
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 4: that her relationship was toxic and her partner treated her

1420
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:32,000
Speaker 4: poorly or encouraged her to leave. Opie responds so many times,

1421
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:35,000
Speaker 4: called it yeah, first when they started dating and she

1422
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 4: had to pay for everything to prove she isn't a

1423
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 4: gold digger, then repeatedly for two years until she straight

1424
01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:42,959
Speaker 4: up told me she doesn't want to hear anything about

1425
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:45,560
Speaker 4: breaking up with him or deserving better, because she decides

1426
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:48,200
Speaker 4: what she deserves. Me and him dislike each other, so

1427
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,960
Speaker 4: our friendship suffered a lot, and nowadays I don't even

1428
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 4: see her unless they're fighting, and even then only so

1429
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:56,880
Speaker 4: she can vent about men. She keeps saying men do this,

1430
01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:59,880
Speaker 4: and I just shrug saying I can't relate. I think

1431
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,680
Speaker 4: I bit my tongue for so long. I exploded, yeah,

1432
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:03,400
Speaker 4: exactly what you were.

1433
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 5: Saying, king, And she bit her tongue too many times

1434
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:07,160
Speaker 5: that her tongue fell fell out, and.

1435
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 3: Let that be a lesson. Don't bite your tongue all

1436
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 3: the time, guys.

1437
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 5: No, at this point I would be like, the harsh

1438
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:14,360
Speaker 5: love is there. I would have blown up and be like,

1439
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:15,920
Speaker 5: shut up, this is what you get.

1440
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 4: The more I think about it, the more guilty I feel,

1441
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 4: because she must be brainwashed to think her relationship is normal.

1442
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 4: But I was so angry because she also said my

1443
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:27,760
Speaker 4: husband is whipped because he did the laundry while we

1444
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:30,280
Speaker 4: were drinking coffee. He did it instead of me so

1445
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 4: we could have some girl time without him. What a

1446
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 4: great mindset to have what a great friend.

1447
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 5: I just don't even think this person's emotionally mature enough

1448
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:40,040
Speaker 5: to be in a marriage. I don't think this person

1449
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:43,919
Speaker 5: understands what a good relationship is yeah, or a good man.

1450
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,560
Speaker 5: But I think she's also weaponizing the fact that she's like,

1451
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:49,880
Speaker 5: I'm in a bad relationship. Feel bad for me? How

1452
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:50,440
Speaker 5: do I fix it?

1453
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:51,400
Speaker 3: I just want you.

1454
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 5: I want to hear how you fix it. But I'm

1455
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:54,920
Speaker 5: not gonna fix it. I'm not gonna do any solutions.

1456
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 5: I'm i gonna do any problem solving. You reap what yousel.

1457
01:05:58,360 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 5: I don't feel bad for your friend at all. Go

1458
01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:00,520
Speaker 5: off of.

1459
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:02,919
Speaker 3: I used to plead with her to leave him, said

1460
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:03,760
Speaker 3: she deserves better.

1461
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:08,240
Speaker 4: I recommended her therapy, couples counseling at least, But all

1462
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:11,560
Speaker 4: she wants is to complain and for me to say, yes,

1463
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 4: that's how all husbands are. This is just the way

1464
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 4: marriage is. But I change my trash man with this

1465
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 4: easy trick that you can do. This post was indirectly

1466
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 4: about more than just this instance. We have more than

1467
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:26,560
Speaker 4: fifteen years of history, and most of it she was

1468
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:29,320
Speaker 4: with him. Some of you really open my eyes asking

1469
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:31,920
Speaker 4: if I even like her I used to before him,

1470
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 4: I don't anymore. I will need to have a deep

1471
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 4: conversation with her ending this friendship. I can't help her

1472
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:39,960
Speaker 4: and she doesn't want to be helped. But I can't

1473
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:43,440
Speaker 4: keep listening about her marriage. And I asked her multiple

1474
01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:47,360
Speaker 4: times to stop talking about him, but she still does

1475
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,919
Speaker 4: because and I quote, we are.

1476
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:50,919
Speaker 3: In the same boat.

1477
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:52,480
Speaker 5: She just wants the attention.

1478
01:06:52,680 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 4: And you know where I want your attention on our

1479
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:58,160
Speaker 4: live stream nice every weekday at three PMPST when we

1480
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:01,240
Speaker 4: go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and TikTok.

1481
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 3: Just tap on our profile and you're in all four

1482
01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:05,640
Speaker 3: platforms at the same time.

1483
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:07,960
Speaker 5: Look, tap tap tap tap, test four taps.

1484
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 4: And we might even be lied right now. But before

1485
01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 4: you check that, we're gonna just wrap up our thoughts here.

1486
01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 4: We're gonna finish this story. Dumb hil No, you're like,

1487
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:17,160
Speaker 4: go off on your friend, op And look, I agree. However,

1488
01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:20,640
Speaker 4: if you would have just talked about it earlier, it

1489
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:22,439
Speaker 4: wouldn't have broken down.

1490
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:24,920
Speaker 5: I don't think so. I really don't think so. Opie

1491
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:29,080
Speaker 5: started if she saw, but she didn't cold water her

1492
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:33,240
Speaker 5: until she was pleading, begging, But now she was like, no,

1493
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,600
Speaker 5: Opie did that. Opie's like, he's not good for you.

1494
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 5: If one of my friends was like, she's not good

1495
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:42,240
Speaker 5: for you, don't date him or don't date her, I'd

1496
01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 5: be like, I like that.

1497
01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:46,960
Speaker 4: No. What the friend was doing was like okay, but no,

1498
01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:49,280
Speaker 4: a time and time after again, just trying to think

1499
01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,320
Speaker 4: of if that negates Maybe just everyone sucks.

1500
01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:54,560
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying. Opie should have just cut it

1501
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:58,520
Speaker 5: off a long time ago, because she's tried every little

1502
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:00,919
Speaker 5: thing she could to help her friend, and the friend

1503
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:02,840
Speaker 5: is doing nothing to better it other than just like

1504
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:04,160
Speaker 5: hearing me complain. I want to vent.

1505
01:08:04,200 --> 01:08:04,560
Speaker 1: I want to do.

1506
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 5: I want to do the tea she's had, the cold water.

1507
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:07,760
Speaker 5: She doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't care. She's like,

1508
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:08,960
Speaker 5: don't bring it up. I don't want to hear you

1509
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:11,120
Speaker 5: talking about me breaking up with him. I want to

1510
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,000
Speaker 5: be with him, But how do I fix him? Oh,

1511
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:15,320
Speaker 5: that's how you fix him. I'm not gonna do that.

1512
01:08:15,440 --> 01:08:16,880
Speaker 5: OPI has done everything right.

1513
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 3: Let's finish it.

1514
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:20,160
Speaker 4: I guess I'm still angry because I'm offended on my

1515
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:23,360
Speaker 4: husband's behalf. I think I will go insane if she

1516
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 4: asks me again, how do you get your husband to

1517
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:28,599
Speaker 4: babysit your kids, while simultaneously telling me she doesn't even

1518
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:31,680
Speaker 4: want my advice. Okay, I am very angry still. I

1519
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:34,599
Speaker 4: can't give advice because it's her life, but she asks

1520
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:37,080
Speaker 4: me how I trained my husband every time she visits.

1521
01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 4: There are more things I haven't included because it is

1522
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,760
Speaker 4: already long and we know each other for a long time.

1523
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 4: I don't know if I'm in a hole, but I

1524
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,599
Speaker 4: think I need to be right now. I can't be supportive.

1525
01:08:48,640 --> 01:08:50,760
Speaker 4: I'm all out of empathy for her. I think those

1526
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 4: who said I'm a bad friend all right, I think

1527
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,639
Speaker 4: I can't be her friend anymore. Sorry for being chaotic

1528
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:57,599
Speaker 4: and venting. That is the end of that story.