WEBVTT - Nail Polish or Nah? 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:08.840 The intersection between fashion and sexuality cannot be convoluted. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:13.080 Dead ass. I just want to know if legans are 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:14.640 ever going to go out of style, because I'm not 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:15.840 trying to give them up ever. In life. 0:00:15.880 --> 0:00:17.280 You don't ever have to. They will never go out 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:19.319 of style for you. You get all the zebra and cheat 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:24.960 the leggings you want, baby, dead ass. 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:28.440 Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellis's. 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:31.600 You may know us from posting funny videos. 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.640 With our boys and reading each other publicly as a 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:35.519 form of therapy. 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:39.519 Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow. 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:42.200 Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married. 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:45.160 Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:48.560 dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics, things most 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.000 folks don't want to talk about through the lens of 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:53.360 a millennial married couple. Dead ass is a term that 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:55.639 we say every day. So when we say dead ass, 0:00:55.680 --> 0:01:00.280 we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:02.960 and nothing but the truth. We about to take Billows 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:04.400 off to our whole new level. 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:08.800 Dead ass starts right now. 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:17.600 Story time. Okay, I'm gonna take y'all back to nineteen 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:20.120 oh wow, Oh no, right, oh wow, don't say it 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:28.920 like that. Nineteen ninety eight. It was my eighth grade year, 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:32.920 was getting ready to be freshman in high school. I 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:37.600 was fifteen, okay, all of my friends had their ears 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:41.880 pierced already, so I was like, yo, I want to 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:44.600 get my earpiss when I turned fourteen. You know what 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:47.760 I'm saying. It's like pops man. You know everybody got 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:49.760 the earpiss. Can I get my ear piss? He said 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:55.760 absolutely not. I was just like, why can't get my 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:59.040 air piers? You know you told me you're not a girl. 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:03.560 Girls get their ears pierced m hm. And I was like, yeah, 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:05.280 but my friends get their eggs piars. He was like, 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:06.880 do I like your little friends? Do? I? Like, I 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:09.079 don't want to hear anything about your little friends, not scoop. 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:10.480 I thought it was a mom saying I ain't no 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:11.280 school pitches. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.080 School because school was not having it. And he was 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.120 just like, yo, yo, so stay with your friends then 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:17.440 if you want to. I was like, no, no, no 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:21.840 for school. Yeah, your friends pay your bills. And I 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:24.720 was just like, but what's the big deal? And he 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:27.440 was like, do I got earrings? Your mother got earrings. 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:30.240 And I remember saying to him, I say, yeah, but 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:34.560 you used to wear them little short ass shorts, them 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:38.679 little hot pants, and Mammy used to wear those two. 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:41.040 First of all, when did your father ever hit fit 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:41.880 hot pants? 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.360 I got pictures. I got pictures of them on the beach, 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:46.320 picture them on him and my mother and my mother. 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:49.040 My father got on these red them shorts. Couldn't been 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:49.840 no longer than. 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:52.560 This, okay, but he had been way younger, because not 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:53.160 not recently. 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.120 I mean, why would mom want my father have on 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:59.840 hot pants in twenty twenty? Said, I don't know history recently. 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:01.840 That's what gave me the image. So I had to 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.239 be clear. The pants would have to be extra hot. 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:07.320 They would have to be like furnace pants. 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:10.880 Oh my gosh, super fire pants was his reply. 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:13.280 No. So his reply was what I used to do 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:16.520 back in the day don't matter now? And I was 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.840 just like, how does it not matter now? He says, 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.560 you're my son, and you're gonna dress like a man. 0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:24.320 Pretty much, do as I say, not as I did. 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:27.240 Facts, And it led me to think about something we're 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:28.200 gonna talk about today. 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:30.120 And if I probably went ahead and pierced his ears 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:31.080 anyway both. 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:36.880 And got in trouble. So on brand for you karaoke time. 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:43.720 I'm dedicating this karaoke to my father's my father's generation. 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:45.920 Yes, when you came up with this song, I was like, oh, 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:47.960 this is perfect. This is on one of my players. 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:51.320 This is my oldiest playlists. Yeah, I will this song 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:53.840 gets gainst that work when I be in a car 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.360 by myself. Yeah, yeah, we should add it to our 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:57.240 date night playlist. 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.360 We can. I'll fuck with it because this song is 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:01.880 from one of my for TV shows. And when I 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:05.120 start this first part, you'all gonna know mm hmm. You know. 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:10.040 I think back to when we met, the way I 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:13.320 used to be, in the cold way I used to act. 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:17.760 But more than that, I think about how you changed 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:23.160 me with all your love and sensitivity. And you remember 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:33.839 when I used to love leave that you used to 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:37.359 what what? That's what I used to do and you 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:44.080 also do what now? Use and abuse? But then, baby, 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:46.280 what'd you do? I don't know what I did? What's 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:55.680 the rest of the words be fol passion period. Shout 0:04:55.720 --> 0:05:01.680 out to my man Rick James. Shout out to James and. 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.839 Tina Mann' forget your guarantee the Marino. 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.800 I'm going to come back to that song. Mm hmmm 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.280 when we pay these bills, and we'll come back to 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:13.200 why I talked. Yes, I picked this song because I 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:16.600 almost got into big trouble. Oh man, I had said 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:18.760 to my father what I'm about to say to y'all. 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:21.320 What I said, y'all gonna be like was a lunatic. 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.640 Oh no, your parents didn't pulverize you every day of life. 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.480 It was rough. I can eighteen years I was in 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:31.680 the house the minute I was going. 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.880 They neither for the fact that they come to our house, 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:36.920 and that was crazy to me. 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.800 They just want to inflict the same wounds. They want 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:41.000 to make sure that my kids are doing to me 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.360 what I did to them. That's really what it is. 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:46.440 Yeah, probably that's they're accurate. All right, let's go pay 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.040 some bills and we're going to get back with more 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.320 on this topic today. Stick around. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.960 So mm hmm. Let's talk about this, man. 0:05:58.040 --> 0:05:58.920 Let's talk about it. 0:05:59.400 --> 0:05:59.880 So it's funny. 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.160 Came out thinking of Rick James when we were thinking 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.080 of a karaoke song, and I thought of Prince. 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:05.640 Oh see you. I wasn't thinking about Rick James. It 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:08.320 was trible and Matt who told me Rick James, I 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.800 was thinking about I turna because just to go back 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:15.360 to the story, this was during the nineties, and during 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:18.000 the nineties fashion was different. We wore super big clothes. 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:21.479 Everybody was sagging like it was a big deal. People. 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:24.000 I had corn rolls. I was trying to grow corn rolls. 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:25.599 And then my mother was like, you can't braide your 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:27.400 head to go to church. It was like a big 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:30.440 thing with fashion, right, So there were two reasons why 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:33.160 my dad never wanted me to dress like everyone else, right. 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.640 He said, Number one, I never want you to perpetuate 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:42.960 a drug gang or prison culture. Yeah. I was like, 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:44.440 what you mean. He was like, well, first of all, 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.360 when it comes to gang in prison culture, right, they 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.440 sagged their clothing gangs like, they sagged their clothing gangs, 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:52.760 and they sagged, and they wear big clothes to let 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.400 people see their butt, to let other men know in 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:57.920 prison that they were into that. I was like, at 0:06:57.920 --> 0:06:59.280 the time I was thirteen, I had no idea what 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:01.800 that was about prison culture and gang culture was. So 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:03.120 he was like, that's why I don't want you to 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.760 wear that. When it comes to being having braids, it's 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.600 the same thing. Right, they wear brains in prison, and 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:10.360 I don't want them looking at you like you're a 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:12.680 gang member, or you have braids, or you have your 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:14.480 ear rings and they I don't want them to think 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.440 that you are like everybody else. That was my my 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:20.320 dad is my dad's biggest thing. My dad's biggest thing 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.000 was like, I don't want my sons to walk around 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:26.160 and to be I don't want anyone to wear stereotype 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.520 of who they are, because I know how hard it 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.720 is for young blacklyn nineties. 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:32.560 The worst thing you could have said to your father 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:37.080 was everybody ears. So then that's completely Oh, I wish 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:39.240 one of our boys walking with what everybody else is doing. 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:41.880 Let me tell you something. But when I the minute 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:44.200 I said it, but everybody, I didn't even want to 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:47.240 finish it because I saw my father's face. And then 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.920 my mother was not even entertaining it at all. Right, 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:52.240 I'm like, you can't tell me everybody doing it, like 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.200 I'm gonna feel guilty. But then when I actually listened 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:57.760 to my parents, I was understanding where they were saying 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:01.080 about culture. Right. The thing that bothers me though, was 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:03.760 my father was just like y'all, you don't think you soft? 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.080 You walking around with your butt hanging out? You got 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:10.920 arrings on, and I said, bro me, So I said, 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:12.920 did you not. Let's let's look at your pictures. 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:13.120 Right. 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.040 My aunt Debbie used to keep a bunch of pictures. 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:18.480 I had a picture in mind, particularly because my uncle 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:20.080 Lee had a Jerry curl. 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:22.000 So let me guess you went all the way over 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:23.520 to Andavie's house to get the picture. 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.360 Yeah. I went there and I got the picture and 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:29.520 I brought it back home. And my father had on 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.040 short hot pants. In the nineties, if you wore short 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:36.800 hot pants, you were considered gay. I was wearing bo 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:41.160 to right as on the beach, I'm talking about hi, yes, hi, 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:43.280 And then this is my father says. Back then it 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:45.120 was different. It was all about the print. Well, about 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:47.679 the print. You have to show your print, yes, And 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:50.440 I was just like, wait a minute, so you can 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:52.679 tell me that if I'm sagging my pants and I'm 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.320 trying to do this, it's it's giving the wrong message. 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:59.360 But y'all could walk around with eyeliner on Jerry curls, 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:02.760 your chest stout right, because my uncle Lee had on 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:07.400 a fish neck tank top he played the the Bongoals. 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:11.560 He had a fish neck tank top with short puma 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.000 in real life or no, no, no, this was in 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:17.760 real life because in the seventies that's what they dressed like. 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:20.960 Because all of the men dressed like Rick James, Prince, 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:24.160 Ike Turner and Michael Jackson. And I said, it's funny 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:26.960 that you're gonna tell me I don't dress manly because 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:30.440 I have braids and I have earrings. But look at 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:31.440 how y'all dressed. 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:35.160 That is true. The bottom, baby, You see what I'm saying, 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.760 fitted with no but because my father got no but 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:39.080 so with man fitted tight. 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.800 You see what I'm saying, bottoms and platform shoes, plat heels. 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:45.280 No no, no, no, it was heels. There's a picture 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:47.240 of Rick James on if you look up the Fire 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:51.080 and Desire picture. Rick James has on full fledged makeup, 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:54.080 beads in the front of his bang, his hair comes down, 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:56.920 his chest is out, he has on thigh high boots 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:01.120 with a heel, and was fucking everybody. Bitch. You know 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:02.640 what I'm saying. And the reason why I say that 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:05.120 is because I want to I want to create I 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:07.640 want to create that context for what I'm about to 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.680 say next, because so many men are asking me, because 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:14.199 I have four boys, Deval, would you let your sons 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:15.080 wear nail polish? 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:17.360 Nail polish or not trend? 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.880 The trend is nail polished enough. I've seen the trend 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:24.719 and my answer is always no. And people say, why 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.360 you're homophobic? And I said, you know why, if I, 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.400 as a parent, yeah, if I, as a parent don't 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.760 want my children to wear something, why does it have 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:34.960 to be labeled a phobia? 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:35.360 Right? 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.199 And I said, to be honest, the first thing I 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:39.360 thought of when I saw the black nail polish on 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.280 these young men, because there are more basketball players, weren't 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:45.520 I think, Kate Cunningham. Where is it? There's a young 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.200 man on the was drafted first overall pick. I can't 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:55.360 remember his name, and he he Caleb Williams. There you go, 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:58.280 thank you man, Kayleb william paints his nails right. And 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.079 I think Jayden Daniels paints his nails or Jaden is 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:04.199 Matt Jaden Williams in the NBA. But Jalen Green, Jalen 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.040 Green painting his nails right, And they were just like yo. 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:09.440 But these athletes, they're doing it. And I said, Okay, 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:13.200 hold on, these athletes are also getting tattoos. They also 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:16.640 have several baby mothers. So your reasoning for me allowing 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:18.319 my kids to do it, to say an athlete is 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:20.400 doing it's never going to work for me. But when 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.679 I first thought about black nail polished, I didn't even 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:26.360 think homosexuality. You know what I thought, right, goth? 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.640 Oh growing up, that was definitely face. So when I 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:32.720 was in midwo high school, there was actually a group, 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:37.520 like several groups that were into that particular attire, and 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:39.400 it felt like Halloween every day of the year. But 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:42.160 that's just how they dress, yes, and it was you 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:44.720 dont think about it. And guys also had their their 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:46.480 fingernails pointed painted as well. 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:49.800 They called them the trench coat Mafiah because they were goth. 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:54.600 They had the big black boots. So it's like everything 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.160 you're seeing now, we've seen it already, right, it's just 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:58.920 coming back in different arenas. 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.840 When I saw the polish initially on like the athletes 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:04.400 and stuff, I thought maybe it was something you know, 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.800 when athletes are teams, like for example, breast cancer month, 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.080 everyone wears pink socks, so I thought maybe they were 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:11.480 doing this as like a thing in solidarity for something, 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:15.400 or it was just another way to extend the uniform, 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.959 so you know, you're wearing colors or something like that. 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:19.920 So that wasn't even the first thing that came to 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:21.680 mind either, when we were probably two of the most 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:23.120 non homophotos people ever. 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:25.800 But that's why having this conversation is important, because when 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:27.800 people asked me about it and I said no, the 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:29.480 first thing they said it was why are you homophobic? 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:30.640 And I was like, how do we get there? 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:31.200 How did we get there? 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:32.800 That's not the first thing I thought of When I 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.240 saw Caleb Williams nails. He had the picture I say, 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.040 had on black nails, and I was like, nah, I'm. 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.839 Because not all trends like that are related to a 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:41.520 particular sexuality either. 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.480 And that's what I wanted to talk about because I 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:47.599 wanted to bring up what's his name? I wanted to 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:49.440 bring up Prince and I wanted to bring up Ike 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:53.760 Turner and Michael Jackson and like we just sang his 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:55.800 song Rick Jane Ri Jaina. I wanted to bring it 0:12:55.880 --> 0:13:00.640 up because if those men existed today, everyone would be 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.839 saying that Rick James was gay. I dare you leave 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:08.240 your woman around Rick James, I dare you, Rick James, 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:10.760 slapped the ship out of you and fuck your bitch 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.839 at you know what I'm saying, because that in his time, 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:20.240 being manly wasn't defined by wearing, and I want people 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:23.400 to realize that that we are still in that same space. Literally, 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.000 just because you've put different labels on what is now 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:27.440 considered fashion doesn't mean. 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.640 Everybody agrees to male or female because as we know, 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.839 like that literally does not correlate to anything but just 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:35.800 trends in general. I think it's important for us as 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.800 parents to stay up on right, Yes, because trends are. 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:39.280 Going to come and go. 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.240 This nail polished era in a year or two maybe 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.920 a thing of the past. But how important is it 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:48.000 for us as parents to just keep on keep up 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:49.240 to date with all the trends? 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.040 You know? But what you just said is why I 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.439 wouldn't let my sons do it. Because there was some 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:57.599 trends that I wanted to participate in when I was 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:01.360 a kid and my parents said no, I couldn't do them. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:03.960 And then now when I look back at the pictures 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:05.400 of my friends in them trends, and I'd be like, 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:08.080 I'm glad my parents didn't, you know what I'm saying. 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:09.760 I think the biggest thing that I wasn't a very 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.000 trendy kid. I think that's also too because it took 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:13.400 a while for me to come into my own. I 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.880 went to a elementary school that went from nursery school 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:20.160 to eighth grade, so I wore uniforms forever, it felt like, 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.240 until I was into eighth grade, and then by high school, 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:27.400 I finally was able to wear street clothes, and that's 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:29.080 what we called it, you know, street clothes at the time, 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:31.800 And then I was still trying to figure out how 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:34.720 to dress, what to wear, what girls were wearing. So 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:36.800 I really didn't really I probably would have been the 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.080 person to drump on trends more because I would have 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:41.760 been easily influenced by everybody around me. But I was 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:44.400 never the easily influenced kids, so I just figure things 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.400 out on my own. The biggest thing I think for 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:47.760 me that I wanted to do as a kid that 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:50.080 my parents were like absolutely not was a second hole 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:51.480 in my ear, And to me, I thought that was 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:54.200 so low impact, and my mom and dad were like 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:56.520 so against it, like perising up yourself. I'm like Georgetol 0:14:56.560 --> 0:15:00.000 y'all pierced me without me, without no I was literally 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:03.360 you know what happened. My father was babysitting me one day. 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:05.920 I was not babysitting because he's my father, but I 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.280 was with my father one day and my mom had 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.440 gone to I think she was finishing up nursing school, 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.520 and I was about three months old, and he just 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:15.600 happened to take me to the mall for a walk. 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.480 And as he was strolling around the mall, he passed 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:21.360 the piercing booth and just looked over and decided to 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.480 pierce my ears pissed, and I came home with pierced airs, 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:25.800 and he thought it was the best thing that he 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.560 had done. That she was going to be so surprised 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:29.840 and happy, and of course she sobbed, much like when 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:31.400 you cut Jackson's here for the first time that. 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:33.400 I was not allowed to do anything with their kids 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:37.200 because they gonna sob. But parents, Mom's coming here all 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.000 the time, were doing all these I thought you would 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.120 like it, and we're supposed to just be like, Okay, 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:43.760 I guess that's okay. That's how we say it. That's 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:46.560 exactly how y'all said. Because I cut Jackson's here, and 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.800 she sobbed. She then went and cut the coldest here 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:50.360 without asking me and was like, I didn't think it 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:51.280 would be that big a deal. 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:53.560 I literally gave it. I thought it was a trim, 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:55.400 and his hair shrunk back down and I was like, 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:57.280 oh shit, it's a little shorter. 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:01.320 It's a little shorter. This woman, this woman specifically told 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.960 me never to cut any of her kids hair again 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:06.640 without her permission, and then she went and did the 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:07.640 same exact thing to me. 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:10.320 Well, give the context around it. Cody was starting school 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:12.080 and his hair was really long, but it was also 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:14.800 breaking at the ends, so I had, you know, come 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.280 to cut his ends, and his hair was damaged, so 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:18.800 she had to get rid of the damage ends. And 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:19.920 it was Yes, it did come out a. 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.120 Little short cut Jackson's here too. 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:25.400 Jackson's hair was not damaged the same way the same way. 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:27.200 You don't care. I don't care the same way you 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:28.280 don't care. I don't care. 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.240 We're not gonna do this like the whole ultimatus thing 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:31.080 and go back and forth. 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:32.520 I don't care. That's fine. 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.120 I don't either. Saying that to say, my father went 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:36.800 and pierced my ears. So my mother was just like, 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:38.280 oh my god, you pierced her ears. So I'm like, 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:40.680 y'all pierced my ears as a baby. But because I'm 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:45.920 asking to consent to a piercing for myself, they said no, yes, 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:47.880 and I just didn't do it. But you paiced your 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:48.800 ears anyway, didn't you. 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:50.680 I got both of them, piers, I got you got 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:52.480 both at one time. No, Well, they told me that 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:56.840 I can get because I argued them down and I 0:16:57.000 --> 0:17:02.080 made pints. And this is this is why bait team captain, captain, 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:05.760 this is why I was able to get one. I 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:07.520 brought up to my dad. I said, you know what's 0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:09.960 funny to me. You talk about all the fashions that 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.919 I can't wear it because you don't think that it's manly, right, 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:14.520 But I just want to point out all the things 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:17.320 that you did. And I took the pictures over and 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:19.119 I said, so you wouldn't let me dress like this, 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.760 but you dressed like it. And my father had to 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:23.359 sit back and be like, you know what, he's right. 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:26.560 And that's why I think it's important because my father 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:29.439 wasn't a tyrant and neither was my mom, and they 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:31.639 also weren't closed minded. And when I pointed out to 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:34.320 them that the same things that they thought were feminine 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:36.879 with my clothes sagging my pants or getting an earring 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:39.040 or having braids. When I pointed out that there are 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:41.040 a lot of things that could be considered feminine about 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:43.800 your outfits when you were growing up in the seventies, 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.879 my dad looked at me and was just like, you 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:49.800 know what, that's fair. So at fourteen, because I could 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:52.439 articulate myself, he told me, I get my ear pierced. 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:55.239 I got one ear pierced, and I was cool. Then 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:56.960 when I turned sixteen, I asked if I get the 0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:59.960 other one, and they said no, So I did it anyway. 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:05.000 At that point, you already had the countdown time where 0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:08.280 you're like, I only got only two more years in 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.639 this house, but you have to tough it out. Did 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:11.520 they make you take it out? 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:12.920 I had to take both of them out, and I 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:16.359 couldn't wear ear rings around them anymore. So if you 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:18.600 look at my pictures from sixteen to eighteen, you'll never 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:20.480 see me with ear rings in front of my parents 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:25.159 because you have to repair some. But no, you I 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:26.760 used to do what kids did. I leave the house 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:28.440