Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is about a question that can help you feel
Speaker 1: a little closer with someone. If there is a person
Speaker 1: you often see in a particular place, you can ask
Speaker 1: what do you do when you're not here? This question
Speaker 1: will help you get to know them a little better.
Speaker 1: We tend to know people within specific context like work, volunteering, exercise,
Speaker 1: parents of the kids in your kids' school, or activities, neighbors,
Speaker 1: book club, church, and so forth. But it's easy not
Speaker 1: to know what's important to people when they are not
Speaker 1: in the context you share. You can build the relationship
Speaker 1: by asking about that, so as you are figuring out
Speaker 1: your arsenal of small talk questions, add this one in
Speaker 1: what do you do when you're not here? I think
Speaker 1: this is a great question for a few reasons. The
Speaker 1: biggest one is that it doesn't make assumptions like a
Speaker 1: lot of other questions do. I hear from a lot
Speaker 1: of stay at home parents who find it awkward when
Speaker 1: people ask what do you do because they know that
Speaker 1: question usually means what do you do for paid work?
Speaker 1: This question can also be awkward for people who are
Speaker 1: out of work and may not really want to talk
Speaker 1: about it right. Then it's also very open ended. The
Speaker 1: person can choose what part of the rest of their
Speaker 1: life they want to talk about. Maybe a parent wants
Speaker 1: to talk about his job or all the things he's
Speaker 1: doing with his kids, but maybe he'd like to talk
Speaker 1: about his recreational soccer league or that he just marched
Speaker 1: in a parade associated with his heritage. Who knows. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't know to ask about either of those specific things,
Speaker 1: but if they are what he is excited about spending
Speaker 1: his time doing, well, now you know. Figuring out what
Speaker 1: people do when they are not in your shared context
Speaker 1: gives you a fuller understanding of them, and that can
Speaker 1: pave a way for a deeper connection. You might find
Speaker 1: ways to extend the relationship. For instance, if you find
Speaker 1: out that your yoga buddy works part time at an
Speaker 1: art museum, then she's probably interested in art, and she
Speaker 1: might end up being the perfect person to gallery hop
Speaker 1: with you. You can discover a shared interest, extend an invitation,
Speaker 1: and move beyond your initial context. This is what turns
Speaker 1: an acquaintance into a friend. So if there is someone
Speaker 1: you know in one context, ask them this question, what
Speaker 1: do you do when you're not here? You'll avoid offending
Speaker 1: someone because we all do something apart from wherever we
Speaker 1: are at the moment, and you can learn what they
Speaker 1: are excited about. Those are all good things. In the meantime.
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
Speaker 1: the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
Speaker 1: If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach
Speaker 1: me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast
Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,
Speaker 1: please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.