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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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Speaker 1: tip is about a question that can help you feel

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Speaker 1: a little closer with someone. If there is a person

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Speaker 1: you often see in a particular place, you can ask

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Speaker 1: what do you do when you're not here? This question

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Speaker 1: will help you get to know them a little better.

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Speaker 1: We tend to know people within specific context like work, volunteering, exercise,

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Speaker 1: parents of the kids in your kids' school, or activities, neighbors,

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Speaker 1: book club, church, and so forth. But it's easy not

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Speaker 1: to know what's important to people when they are not

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Speaker 1: in the context you share. You can build the relationship

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Speaker 1: by asking about that, so as you are figuring out

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Speaker 1: your arsenal of small talk questions, add this one in

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Speaker 1: what do you do when you're not here? I think

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Speaker 1: this is a great question for a few reasons. The

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Speaker 1: biggest one is that it doesn't make assumptions like a

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Speaker 1: lot of other questions do. I hear from a lot

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Speaker 1: of stay at home parents who find it awkward when

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Speaker 1: people ask what do you do because they know that

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Speaker 1: question usually means what do you do for paid work?

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Speaker 1: This question can also be awkward for people who are

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Speaker 1: out of work and may not really want to talk

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Speaker 1: about it right. Then it's also very open ended. The

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Speaker 1: person can choose what part of the rest of their

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Speaker 1: life they want to talk about. Maybe a parent wants

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Speaker 1: to talk about his job or all the things he's

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Speaker 1: doing with his kids, but maybe he'd like to talk

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Speaker 1: about his recreational soccer league or that he just marched

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Speaker 1: in a parade associated with his heritage. Who knows. You

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Speaker 1: wouldn't know to ask about either of those specific things,

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Speaker 1: but if they are what he is excited about spending

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Speaker 1: his time doing, well, now you know. Figuring out what

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Speaker 1: people do when they are not in your shared context

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Speaker 1: gives you a fuller understanding of them, and that can

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Speaker 1: pave a way for a deeper connection. You might find

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Speaker 1: ways to extend the relationship. For instance, if you find

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Speaker 1: out that your yoga buddy works part time at an

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Speaker 1: art museum, then she's probably interested in art, and she

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Speaker 1: might end up being the perfect person to gallery hop

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Speaker 1: with you. You can discover a shared interest, extend an invitation,

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Speaker 1: and move beyond your initial context. This is what turns

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Speaker 1: an acquaintance into a friend. So if there is someone

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Speaker 1: you know in one context, ask them this question, what

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Speaker 1: do you do when you're not here? You'll avoid offending

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Speaker 1: someone because we all do something apart from wherever we

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Speaker 1: are at the moment, and you can learn what they

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Speaker 1: are excited about. Those are all good things. In the meantime.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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Speaker 1: the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

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Speaker 1: If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach

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Speaker 1: me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast

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Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,

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Speaker 1: please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

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Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.