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Speaker 1: Pay me with counterfeit money. Get ready for blackmail that's going.

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Speaker 2: To destroy your entire life. Honestly, tip for tech. I'm

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Speaker 2: for I like you fake me out of my money,

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Speaker 2: then I'm gonna keep you back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I get ready for some pain.

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Speaker 2: I think I'm going to predict Opie not to Ahole

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Speaker 2: because I like the energy.

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Speaker 3: Years ago, roughly twenty ten, when I was doing pizza delivery.

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Speaker 3: I delivered on campus, pretty standard procedure, Call the customer

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Speaker 3: and wait in the parking lot. This guy comes down,

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Speaker 3: hands me money, takes the pizza, and walks away.

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Speaker 1: Then he starts to run.

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Speaker 3: I look in my hand and one of the ten

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Speaker 3: dollar bills is ripped in half, and the twenty dollar

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Speaker 3: bill is a horrible counterfeit.

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Speaker 2: You have a ripped counterfeit bill.

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Speaker 3: He has a ripped real ten dollar bill and a full,

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Speaker 3: terrible twenty dollar counterfeit bill.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Dude already runs back to his dorm and it's pass activated,

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Speaker 3: so I can't even get in. Then I remembered something

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Speaker 3: that I have that I can use to blackmail him. Oh,

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Speaker 3: I have his number in my phone. So I called

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Speaker 3: him up and no answer. So I call the store

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Speaker 3: and tell them it happened, and they mark his number

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Speaker 3: as a prank caller, So no more deliveries for that guy.

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Speaker 3: Figured that's good enough, you know. I guess that's all

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Speaker 3: the blackmail will do.

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Speaker 1: Wrong, more blackmail to come.

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Speaker 3: Then, as I was leaving, I see campus security talking

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Speaker 3: into a police member. There was a check stop just

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Speaker 3: before the entrance to the grounds. I stop and walk

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Speaker 3: up and give them the rundown of what happened. I

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Speaker 3: give the counterfeit bill and the ribill to the officer

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Speaker 3: while the campus security dude is looking up the phone

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Speaker 3: number in the student directory. Campus security finds who this

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Speaker 3: guy is and off they go. Ten minutes later, this

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Speaker 3: dude is in the back of a police gar with

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Speaker 3: his dorm mate. And this is the list of charges

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Speaker 3: they got hit with. Oh god, that's under one thousand dollars,

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Speaker 3: because technically he didn't pay for the pizza. Possession of

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Speaker 3: counterfeit currency, he had more counterfeit bills in his dorm room. Oh,

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Speaker 3: possession of narcotics, possession of a controlled substance, possession with

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Speaker 3: intent to sell, and possession of stolen property. And then

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Speaker 3: there was another charge but I can't remember it. I

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Speaker 3: guess He posted bail a couple days later and came

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Speaker 3: down to the pizza shop to have some words with me.

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Speaker 3: He was about to go fight them or something. I'm

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Speaker 3: a scuttry, but I wasn't working that night. So the

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Speaker 3: dude started trashing the lobby of the pizza place and

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Speaker 3: then got arrested again. Oh my god, you got arrested

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Speaker 3: for trespassing, criminal mischief, and vandalism, you idiot.

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Speaker 1: And that's not all what.

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Speaker 3: They found a knife on him when they searched him,

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Speaker 3: so there was a weapons charge.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure what happened after the second arrest, as

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Speaker 3: I was never called to testifying court, but I'm going

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Speaker 3: to assume he took a plete deal. He most definitely

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Speaker 3: got expelled from the university though, And that's why you

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Speaker 3: never steal a pizza from your boy. Wow, that's some

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Speaker 3: fucking next level revenge. Ruined this whole guy's life off

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Speaker 3: a stolen pizza.

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Speaker 2: Geezzzazy's cheesy deazy man. So question, Yeah, do.

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Speaker 3: You think this dude that you know, this dorm dude

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Speaker 3: deserved the punishment he got.

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Speaker 2: So I also do want to know in the comments,

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Speaker 2: let me know what you all think you give me

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Speaker 2: your breakdown.

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Speaker 1: What punishment would you give to someone who stole a pizza?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? This was just too damn much. Like now I

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Speaker 2: get that he had he had, like he had the narcotics,

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Speaker 2: he had the weapon, he trashed the plate Like Okay,

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Speaker 2: those were all like twenty dollars of pizza, bro, Like

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Speaker 2: it's it's set far. Is not that serious?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know, but he missed out on his tip,

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Speaker 3: missed down in his tip.

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Speaker 2: Wait, do we know the cost of the pizza?

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Speaker 3: Well, we know the guy gave him a ten dollars

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Speaker 3: faebil R twenty dollars or sorry, ten dollars half rip

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Speaker 3: bill and twenty dollar counterfei bill, So I assume it

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Speaker 3: was thirty bucks. Man literally ruined his entire life over

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Speaker 3: thirty dollars thirty dollars.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just like I don't know, Like, now this

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Speaker 2: guy's working at the pizza job. If the job is

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Speaker 2: in jeopardy, it's like, yo, I gotta set this right,

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Speaker 2: Like yeah, go to the camp to go to whoever

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Speaker 2: to try and like not get fired. I understand that

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Speaker 2: one hundred. I guess I don't fault him for going

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Speaker 2: to the campus police.

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Speaker 3: Or whatever he did was good at the campus police

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Speaker 3: is that Yo, this guy stole and then it just

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Speaker 3: happened and then like.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't intentionally Like I got ten charges, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: hit you on. I guess. I guess he's not the

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Speaker 2: a hole. But it's just like it's just so much.

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Speaker 2: I have a thirty dollars pizza, I know whatever. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it seems like dorm dude kind of reserved it. But

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Speaker 2: it seems like dorm dude kind of deserved it, you know,

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Speaker 2: like in terms of like.

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Speaker 3: Like he just he he he added those charges. It's

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Speaker 3: not like, oh, he gave those charges to them, like

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Speaker 3: he added those on bo key.

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Speaker 2: Though, if I am like all I did was try

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Speaker 2: to gyp someone have a thirty dollars pizza, and I

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Speaker 2: have like ten charges, I might have to go trash

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Speaker 2: the most place due because I'm like, I like just

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Speaker 2: think of the frustration. Like all I wanted was a

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Speaker 2: free thirty dollars pizza, and now I have like ten

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Speaker 2: years of person on my record, like.

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Speaker 1: Shows how quickly your life can DeVault.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think.

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Speaker 3: If I was to actually give a U pun, you're

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Speaker 3: stealing a thirty dollars pizza. I would say, like the

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Speaker 3: revenge that I would want would be like for the

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Speaker 3: guy to have like explosive diarrhea for like a week.

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Speaker 3: You know, yes, yeah, you steal my pizza, have fun

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Speaker 3: like shitting your pants.

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Speaker 2: Especially if it jeopardizes your job.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, which you could, Which you could. But what

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Speaker 3: do you guys think? We want to know what is

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Speaker 3: your punishment for stealing a thirty dollars pizza? But John,

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Speaker 3: I heard you're gonna punish my years in a good way.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, So my next story, Sam has a crime,

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Speaker 2: but maybe more a crime of passion of leaving the family.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, I love passionate crimes.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, am I the ahole for perpetuating ethnic stereotypes

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Speaker 2: about jeorts?

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Speaker 1: Okayop, this is Okayop.

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Speaker 3: I'm Samuel, don I'm John for and we tell the

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Speaker 3: funniest stories on the internet. And John, I was talking

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Speaker 3: to someone about Japan recently.

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Speaker 2: Japan.

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Speaker 3: I really want to go to Japan because my my

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Speaker 3: tickets got canceled in twenty twenty.

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Speaker 1: Was gonna go to twenty twenty Olympics.

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Speaker 3: And then the vid happened and it got canceled. But like,

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Speaker 3: now I have this like reignited vigor to visit Japan.

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Speaker 2: I love that. What's the game plan?

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Speaker 3: I want to go and visit Soy Sauce Farms, Soy

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Speaker 3: Sauce Farms.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to do it.

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Speaker 3: I was going to do a series about it for

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Speaker 3: finding founders interesting multi generational entrepreneurship. And I was pretty

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Speaker 3: pretty hyped. Yeah, I don't know where this is going, but.

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Speaker 2: Well, I honestly that sounds great. I actually do remember

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Speaker 2: now you talking about going to going to Japan like

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Speaker 2: this was. It wasn't like March of twenty twenty, right,

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Speaker 2: but it was.

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Speaker 1: Like it was right, yeah, like early twenty twenty.

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Speaker 2: Early twenty twenty. Yeh okay, okay, okay. Well, honestly, Sam,

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Speaker 2: I think I think you're going to get there one day.

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Speaker 2: It's going to happen. I think it's going to happen.

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Speaker 1: Send me to Japan.

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Speaker 2: The other thing that's going to happen is we're about

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Speaker 2: to read a entertaining ass story. Let's do it for

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Speaker 2: our wonderful audience members. Here, am I the a hole

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Speaker 2: for perpetuating ethnic stereotypes about Jord's.

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Speaker 1: What ethnic stereotypes are there about Jeords.

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Speaker 2: I can promise you this story is absolutely not at

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Speaker 2: all what you are going to expect.

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Speaker 1: Okay, it is, I'm not what you would expect.

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Speaker 3: Buckling in, Buckle, I'm ready to go. Let's get on

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Speaker 3: with the show.

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Speaker 2: Here we go. We have two workplace cats on the

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Speaker 2: area of our work site. They add value on the worksite.

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Speaker 2: We all love cats and the work site cat presence

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Speaker 2: is not the issue in this story.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm I'm glad to know that the cats are

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Speaker 1: all right.

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Speaker 2: One of the cats Gene has is a tortoiseshell cat,

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Speaker 2: so you know, like the nice like tortoiseshell for coding

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Speaker 2: that we've had for the past few years. The other

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Speaker 2: cat is a new addition. He's a large orange cat

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Speaker 2: and his name is Georts.

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Speaker 1: George.

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Speaker 3: Wait, so the cat is Georts, the cat is Jeorts.

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Speaker 2: We're not talking about Geene shortz, ladies and gentlemen. We're

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Speaker 2: talking about a big fat orange cat, Okay, Garfield in

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Speaker 2: the house. Georts is just kind of a let's say,

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Speaker 2: simple guy.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: For example, Georts can't open a door even when it's

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Speaker 2: a jar. He shoves it whether he's going in or out,

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Speaker 2: so often that he closes it trying to open it.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, this this means he often gets trapped inside

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Speaker 2: the place he was trying to exit and mews and

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Speaker 2: mews until he is rescued.

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Speaker 3: Georgs, come on, get keep fire up. Some more brain cells.

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Speaker 3: Fire some more brain cells.

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Speaker 2: Now. My colleague Pam not her real name, has been

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Speaker 2: spending a lot of time trying to cheach Georts different things.

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Speaker 2: The door thing is the main example. It's a real

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Speaker 2: issue because the cats are fed in the closet and

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Speaker 2: Jeorts keeps pushing the door closed on himself. Jene can

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Speaker 2: actually open all interior doors since they have a lever

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Speaker 2: type knob, so the other cats freaking using the.

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Speaker 3: Nstein of cats and Georts is not.

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Speaker 2: Not so much. But Jeane can't open this particular door

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Speaker 2: if she is also trapped inside the closet. Gene is

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Speaker 2: very nice to pour poor dumb orange Jorts, and she

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Speaker 2: is kept busy by letting him out of rooms that

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Speaker 2: he has trapped himself in. So this it's teamwork, right,

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Speaker 2: cat teamwork. So the issue seemed pretty easy to resolve.

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Speaker 2: I put down a doorstep to leave the door open.

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Speaker 3: Wow engineering, Marvel, Marvel over here, Pam then said I

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Speaker 3: was depriving Jorts of his chance to learn. Wait, Pam

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Speaker 3: is like, let Jeorts suffer.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, she wants Jeorts to learn the hard way.

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Speaker 1: Let George suffer by getting stuck.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let him suffer and eventually learn by necessity. So

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Speaker 2: Pam kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series

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Speaker 2: of special learning activities for Jeorts and tried to put

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Speaker 2: each of these tasks on a whiteboard of daily team tasks,

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Speaker 2: which I erased. Okay, she thinks we need to teach

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Speaker 2: him how to clean himself better, how to get out

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Speaker 2: of minor barriers, like when he gets its head, like

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Speaker 2: when he gets his head stuck in a cup, etc.

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Speaker 1: I like this workplace.

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Speaker 3: Beef and drama is about like teaching this cat how

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Speaker 3: to not be stupid.

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Speaker 2: And Sam, I can promise you it's only going to

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Speaker 2: get exponentially worse ways you would not have expected. All right,

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Speaker 2: let's see it. I love Jeorts, but he's dumb af

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Speaker 2: and we can't change that now. Don't get me wrong.

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Speaker 2: Watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through

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Speaker 2: a door is hilarious. But Jean got locked in the

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Speaker 2: closet twice this week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout

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Speaker 2: thing in the door, and Pam started to get really hoffy.

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Speaker 3: Why is Pam trying to make everything so hard? Pam

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Speaker 3: really does this is just a simple idiot. She does

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Speaker 3: the absolute most.

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Speaker 2: I made a gentle joke about you can't expect Jean's

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Speaker 2: tortoiseshell smarts from orange cats like jeorts, which made Pam furious.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, he really did it this time. She burst

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Speaker 2: out crying and ran and left through the hallway and

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Speaker 2: then sent an email to the group including volunteers and

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Speaker 2: went home early.

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Speaker 1: What all? Because he's like, orange cats are dumb.

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Speaker 2: And here we go. Here's the cream on the cake,

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Speaker 2: the just the piece de resistant. In her email, Pam

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Speaker 2: said I was quote perpetching ethnic stereotypes by saying orange

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Speaker 2: cats are dumb.

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Speaker 1: What wait? I was joking. She actually said that, and.

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Speaker 2: In the email she also demanded racial sensitivity training for

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Speaker 2: the cats.

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Speaker 1: It's a wait.

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Speaker 3: For for the cats or for the people about the cats.

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Speaker 1: I'm imagining like these.

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Speaker 3: Two cats sitting in front of a TV, like, don't discriminate.

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Speaker 1: I got your orange counterparts.

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Speaker 2: Hello everyone, today we're talking about catism.

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Speaker 1: There, cats furs, furism.

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Speaker 2: Perhaps because it's not like, you know, skin, they don't

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Speaker 2: have skin color, they have fur color. And she's demanding

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Speaker 2: that we complete all of this before she returns to

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Speaker 2: work for the off for the company.

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Speaker 1: Again, this is ridiculous. This is so ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's but just in case, Pam is

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Speaker 2: a white person in a mostly minority staff. And no,

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Speaker 2: she is not a ginger, does not have red hair.

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Speaker 1: I love as to clarify.

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Speaker 2: So the question is, am I the ahole? No? What?

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Speaker 1: Oh god?

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Speaker 2: I could barely make it through asking.

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Speaker 1: That what, oh man, it's a cat. It's a cat.

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Speaker 1: It's a cat, and.

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Speaker 3: It's like like also like different breeds of cats are

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Speaker 3: different breeds of cats and dogs are just so ridiculously

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Speaker 3: inbred that they've become very stupid. So saying that there's

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Speaker 3: stupid is as I don't think anything controversial.

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Speaker 2: It's the thing is is like, what's the real harm?

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Speaker 2: The cat is not so smart? The cat the cats

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Speaker 2: cannot understand English. It really just is what it is.

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Speaker 2: It's a dumb cat. It's a dumb cat. And it's like,

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Speaker 2: do we not have more important issues to worry about? Pam?

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Speaker 3: The PC police, they're they're on it, They're on They're

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Speaker 3: on cat rights right now. Ho, man, don't cancel us,

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Speaker 3: don't cancel us, guys. The cat, the cat army is

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Speaker 3: gonna come. Honestly, like, I'm kind of worried about getting

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Speaker 3: canceled because now the cat's out of the bag.

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Speaker 2: The cat is out of the bag. You know, guys,

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Speaker 2: if the cat army is going to come for me,

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Speaker 2: I am going to stand by this one. People. Racism

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Speaker 2: is ten million times more important than cat racism. That

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Speaker 2: is a hill I will die on ten million times.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, John, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Just throwing down the gauntlet today, wadies, a gentleman.

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Speaker 3: But you know what you should also throw down on

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Speaker 3: is that subscribe button. Hit that subscribe button follows on Spotify.

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Speaker 3: We really want to be a support support us on Patreon.

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Speaker 2: That's right. Join the ranks of Amanda will Combs, Connor

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Speaker 2: Van Buren, Keikan Simmons, and Kathy Quigley.

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Speaker 1: See us in