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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.

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Speaker 1: Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering

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Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave

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Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beeB.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Cheeky's, I first want to start off by saying,

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Speaker 2: I love you, and I love your family. I grew

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Speaker 2: up listening to your mom's music and I still listen

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Speaker 2: to your music to this day, and I love your

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Speaker 2: music as well and everything your family does. My question

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Speaker 2: for day is how do you keep the spark alive

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Speaker 2: when you're far away from your partner like long distance?

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Speaker 2: Thank you?

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Speaker 1: Well, well, well, my anonymous listener, that's a toughie, not

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Speaker 1: gonna lie, especially because I'm the type of person that

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Speaker 1: I want my partner near me. I like my alone time,

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Speaker 1: but I want the hugs and the kisses, and you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. I'm very affectionate, so long distance

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Speaker 1: has never really been my thing. So I hope I

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Speaker 1: can give you the best advice. One time I had

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Speaker 1: a long distance relationship and he was in Iraq, actually,

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Speaker 1: and that was tough. The damn phone bill came out

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Speaker 1: to like six thousand dollars. MoMA wanted to choke me.

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Speaker 1: It was crazy. So that's a whole other story, but

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Speaker 1: it is hard. I think that where there is a will,

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Speaker 1: there's a way, And that sounds very cliche, better get it.

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Speaker 1: And I think that if you guys are both on

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Speaker 1: the same page and do the best to FaceTime, thank goodness,

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Speaker 1: we can do FaceTime. There's zoom, there's all kinds of stuff,

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Speaker 1: But like it's really at the tip of our fingertips

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Speaker 1: now with our phones, where you could just be adamant

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Speaker 1: and intentional about, hey, let's get on, you know, on

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Speaker 1: a FaceTime today, let's have phone sex. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. That's important. Like even though you guys are far,

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Speaker 1: it's like, hey, let's put your phone and I'll put

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Speaker 1: my phone. I'll put on something sexy for you, and

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Speaker 1: you need to do things that maybe you're not as

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Speaker 1: comfortable with and outside of the box so that you

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Speaker 1: guys can keep that spark going. But I think it's

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Speaker 1: even like sending little pictures, you know, maybe not put

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Speaker 1: your face in it, but like booby pictures or like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, all that little cute stuff

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Speaker 1: is nice. And even sending him a little package of

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Speaker 1: something like hey, like his favorite something like just a

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Speaker 1: random card saying hey, I appreciate you even though you're far,

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Speaker 1: I love you, I miss you. Just coming up with

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Speaker 1: different ideas and he should do the same. You should

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Speaker 1: also communicate with him so that he's sending you flowers randomly.

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Speaker 1: It's all about munication and that's what I do in

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Speaker 1: my relationship. I'm like, hey, I like flowers, and so

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Speaker 1: he brings me flowers for the past two years once

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Speaker 1: a week at least, or chocolates. It's like I like

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Speaker 1: to be conquistada, like I want you to romance me.

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Speaker 1: So you have to definitely communicate with your partner, and

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Speaker 1: you can't be upset if he's not doing it because

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Speaker 1: you're not communicating and you're not telling him. So it

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Speaker 1: goes both ways. So yeah, girls say sexy picture right now?

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: All right, So our next question comes from Vanessa.

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Speaker 4: Hi Cheeky's. I just want to start off by saying

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Speaker 4: thank you for having this segment on your podcast. I

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Speaker 4: think it's a really cool way for you to interact

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Speaker 4: with your fans and for us to interact with you.

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Speaker 4: My question for you is how do I stop attracting

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Speaker 4: the same type of guys? I was in a long

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Speaker 4: term relationship for eight and a half years, but it

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Speaker 4: was really mentally and emotionally abusive to me. We decided

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Speaker 4: to finally call the quits almost about a year ago,

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Speaker 4: and I'm fine at that point where I'm ready to start,

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Speaker 4: you know, the dating scene. I've been to dipping my

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Speaker 4: toes in a little bit, but I've noticed that I'm

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Speaker 4: attracting a lot of the same type of guys with

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Speaker 4: the same red flags as my ex. So I don't

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Speaker 4: know what's what's your thought on that?

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Speaker 1: Well, Vanessa, thank you. It makes me feel so happy

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Speaker 1: that you're loving dear Cheeky's. It makes me feel so

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Speaker 1: close to you guys, and I love doing this, so

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Speaker 1: so thank you for that. As far as your question, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so As soon as I heard it, I was like, damn,

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Speaker 1: been there, been there girl.

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Speaker 5: Ugh.

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Speaker 1: And you know what what I learned was that I'm

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Speaker 1: attracting and I was attracting. I was it's a big

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Speaker 1: word here. I was attracting the same type of guys.

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Speaker 1: But because I was not learning my lesson, I didn't

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Speaker 1: heal a certain part of my life or a certain

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Speaker 1: part of myself. So I kept it, kept recurring, it

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Speaker 1: kept appearing again in my life, that same type of

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Speaker 1: relationship because I had a codependency. I needed to be needed.

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Speaker 1: And what did that do? Then? It would bring unhealed

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Speaker 1: people to me so that I can heal them. And

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Speaker 1: that's not what a relationship is all about, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. So in your situation, it's good that

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Speaker 1: it seems like you've taken some time for yourself to

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Speaker 1: just say, Okay, now I'm kind of ready to, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, dip my toes into the dating scene. But

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Speaker 1: I think you're also being smart with not just falling

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Speaker 1: into the same type of relationship for the sake of

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Speaker 1: not being alone. I think you should just need to

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Speaker 1: be patient. And I think sometimes we get so fixated

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Speaker 1: on the type of person that we want as far

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Speaker 1: as like maybe physically that we're not looking outside like

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Speaker 1: instead of this is the person I want? Is what

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Speaker 1: do I need? Asking the universe, asking God the type

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Speaker 1: of person that I need to be the best version

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Speaker 1: of myself and to bring a healed person into your

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Speaker 1: life so that both of you are on the same

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Speaker 1: frequency of one to be the best versions of yourself,

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Speaker 1: to come together, because that's what a relationship is. It's

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Speaker 1: just two people coming together and becoming one, but also

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Speaker 1: always respecting each other's individuality. So what I suggest is

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Speaker 1: for you to write down exactly the type of guy

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Speaker 1: that you would want, but at the end of it,

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Speaker 1: be like, God, Universe, send me who I need. And

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you instead of looking at is it a

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Speaker 1: bad thing? I think you're very smart for saying, huh,

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Speaker 1: I see red flags. That's smart. That's already you protecting

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Speaker 1: yourself from falling into the same thing. But keep using

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Speaker 1: this time by yourself to heal, to do therapy, to

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Speaker 1: read books, to really you become what you want to attract,

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Speaker 1: heal whatever you need to heal, if it's jealousy, if

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Speaker 1: it's insecurities, if whatever it may be, be like, I

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Speaker 1: want to be a more confident person, a more confident woman.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be jealous. I want to know

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Speaker 1: that my partner is not my property. He is a

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Speaker 1: part of my life. My mom would say he's the dessert,

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Speaker 1: he's not the full course meal, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So think about it that way, and so heal yourself.

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Speaker 1: And then once you are ready and the universe feels

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Speaker 1: that you're ready and you are the person that you

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Speaker 1: want to attract, then you're gonna attract the person for you,

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Speaker 1: even if he's a little shorter than you wanted, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Even if you're like I want

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Speaker 1: a six foot two dude, and even if he's five seven,

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Speaker 1: it's all good, girl shoo. I never thought like a

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Speaker 1: meal's kind of short, and I always wanted to tell

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Speaker 1: the guy. But you know what, he's a sweet guy

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Speaker 1: and I love him and he treats me good. So

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Speaker 1: sometimes you just got to like give and take. You

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Speaker 1: feel me, So, Vanessa, I hope I helped you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: good luck with that baby, pray on it. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be praying for you too. Okay. So our next question

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Speaker 1: comes from Amy.

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Speaker 5: Hey, what's that cheeky? It's your girl aiming calling you

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Speaker 5: from Boston, Massachusetts. I was looking for some advice. I

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Speaker 5: know that you've dated men that are also artists, just

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Speaker 5: like you, and I'm sure that once your relationship starts,

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Speaker 5: you notice that a lot of the things that they

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Speaker 5: do are similar to things that you do, and people

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Speaker 5: tend to merge both of you together. But how do

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Speaker 5: you keep your own identity? My husband and I are

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Speaker 5: both in the fitness industry and we do everything exactly

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Speaker 5: the same. But sometimes I want to have my own

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Speaker 5: things going on because I feel like I'm losing my

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Speaker 5: own identity. And sometimes when I speak to my husband

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Speaker 5: about that, I can tell that his feelings get hurt.

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Speaker 6: Do you have any advice on how I can still

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Speaker 6: keep my own identity without hurting anybody's feelings. Also, I

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Speaker 6: just want to tell you now that I've been watching

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Speaker 6: you since season one of I love Jenny, and thank

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Speaker 6: you for growing up with me being the firstborn female

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Speaker 6: in a Hispanic family and all the pressure that comes

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Speaker 6: with them.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Amy, you're gonna make me cry. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to hug you right now. Well, shout out

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Speaker 1: to Boston. I like Boston. Oh my gosh, my heart. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so thank you for watching I Love Jenny and for

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Speaker 1: growing up with me, and I totally understand. It's a lot.

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Speaker 1: I used to feel very upset about it, about being

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Speaker 1: like the firstborn and having to be the example. It's

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Speaker 1: just so much freaking pressure. But now I'm like, it's

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Speaker 1: a blessing and I'm so grateful. So I feel you, girl,

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Speaker 1: I feel you. As far as your question, I love

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Speaker 1: your question. Oh my gosh, it's hard. It's hard. I

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Speaker 1: did date and marry someone that is also an artist,

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Speaker 1: and at first it was very cool. It's like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, he understands me my schedule and like we

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Speaker 1: get it, and it was cool. And then later on

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Speaker 1: it just started becoming an issue, you know, because yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think he felt like he was living in my world.

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Speaker 1: It was all about me, and I don't know, it's

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Speaker 1: just I feel like he started resenting me in a way.

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Speaker 1: I could be wrong. These are just my ideas and

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Speaker 1: how I feel. Things change, but it was very, very tough,

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Speaker 1: and because of that experience, I told myself that I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna just stay away from artists, you know. So I'm

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Speaker 1: not telling you to break up with your boyfriend. That's

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Speaker 1: not what I'm telling you, or better yet, you're your husband.

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Speaker 1: I'm not telling you to divorce him or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: I think you guys can make it work. I think

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Speaker 1: that the fact that you're communicating that to him is

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Speaker 1: a good thing, and he needs to be a little

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Speaker 1: bit more open to it. And I think little by little,

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Speaker 1: mentioning it more and more, and you expressing that it's

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Speaker 1: okay not to do everything together. And that's a mistake

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Speaker 1: that I did in my past. I felt like I

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Speaker 1: wanted my husband to be with me everywhere, and it's like, no,

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Speaker 1: he's his own individual. He's an artist himself, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. And it's like I want him to

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Speaker 1: be with me everywhere, and it's like no, it's two

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Speaker 1: worlds coming together. And you guys can do the same

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Speaker 1: exact thing, but you need space. So I think just

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Speaker 1: explaining that to him, it's like I love you. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I love you any less. I love

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Speaker 1: you very much, and in order to save this relationship,

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Speaker 1: I need to feel like I'm doing my own thing

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Speaker 1: and I want you to allow me and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to feel controlled. Maybe for him it's he doesn't

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Speaker 1: he loves you so much. He doesn't want to lose you,

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Speaker 1: so he wants you to be there all the time

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Speaker 1: and let's do everything together. And that's beautiful, especially if

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Speaker 1: a man wants to do that. But we do need

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Speaker 1: our breathing space, to miss each other, to want to

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Speaker 1: be around each other, to have more and different conversations.

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Speaker 1: If you're doing everything together Sevan and Pallaar, it's going

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Speaker 1: to become too much, you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 1: it's going to become too much. So I would just

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Speaker 1: suggest keep talking to him and always say it in

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Speaker 1: a nice, loving way. Maybe some couple's therapy will help

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Speaker 1: you express it to him and someone else will better

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Speaker 1: explain it. A mediator that always helps. Couple's therapy is

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Speaker 1: amazing and I highly recommend it, especially if you guys

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Speaker 1: have been together for a long time. Sometimes you lose

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Speaker 1: the communication between each other and it just becomes more

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Speaker 1: difficult throughout the years or easier. But I highly suggest that,

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Speaker 1: and I really feel that you guys can make it work.

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Speaker 1: Needs to be a little bit more open to it

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Speaker 1: and not get his feelings hurt. That's super important for

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Speaker 1: him to give you that breathing space and you give

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Speaker 1: it to him.

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Speaker 5: Too.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he'll appreciate it as well. It'll make your relationship stronger.

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Speaker 1: So I'm curious to hear the update. Amy let us know. Okay,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for your question, and I'm sending

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Speaker 1: you a big hug, big sister. Okay, so our last

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Speaker 1: question comes from Richard Hi Jikiz.

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Speaker 3: I was thinking about going back to school, but I

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Speaker 3: have a partner and that doesn't work because of his

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Speaker 3: heart problem, and I was wondering what to do at

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Speaker 3: this point.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Richard, so I wish I had a little bit

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Speaker 1: more information, But it sounds like you're probably taking care

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Speaker 1: of things financially, which makes it a little bit more

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Speaker 1: difficult for you to go to school. And then your

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Speaker 1: partner because he has a heart conditioned pant work. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you take care of him financially, but regardless,

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Speaker 1: I think that I am one to always push education

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Speaker 1: no matter how old you are. If you want to

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Speaker 1: do something at fifty eight and you want to go

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Speaker 1: back to school, I'm like the first one to say

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Speaker 1: do it. But I think you're being a wonderful partner

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Speaker 1: first of all, if you're there taking care of your partner,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's the support that he needs. But

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Speaker 1: you also can't forget about yourself because then you're going

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Speaker 1: to resent your partner. I think maybe finding a part

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Speaker 1: time job and going to school at night, or vice versa.

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Speaker 1: I definitely think that there is a way and maybe

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Speaker 1: your partner being open to finding a job that doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily require him to leave his home or her home.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a hear or her. I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry, but you know what I mean. It could

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Speaker 1: be remote, it could be I mean, there are so

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Speaker 1: many like even like telemarketing jobs that they could be

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Speaker 1: at home, and your partner has to be open to saying, hey,

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Speaker 1: like I want to go back to school. Can you

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Speaker 1: support me in this dream. You have to talk to

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Speaker 1: your partner and let them know what you're feeling, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, because you don't want to resent them,

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Speaker 1: and they have to be open to possibly finding a

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Speaker 1: job that suits their lifestyle and what they can do.

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Speaker 1: So that's my suggestion. I know it's breaking your heart

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Speaker 1: because I could hear it in your voice. So I

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Speaker 1: am sending you a big, warm hug, and I hope

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Speaker 1: things get better. But I think it is important that

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Speaker 1: you express this and just say hey, I'm feeling a

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Speaker 1: little suppressed. I'm feeling a little bit you know, limited,

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Speaker 1: and I need you to help me. This is my desire.

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Speaker 1: Can you support me in this? What can we do?

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Speaker 1: Can I help you find a job? You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? So I hope that helps Richard. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much, you guys, your questions were awesome. I love

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Speaker 1: them so much. Thank you for submitting them. And I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to say, I know I'm supposed to be

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Speaker 1: the one helping you guys out on this podcast, but

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Speaker 1: you guys help me too, honestly, in so many different ways.

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Speaker 1: You guys make me feel just so happy and just

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Speaker 1: so warm inside, and I'd love to continue to help

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Speaker 1: you sort through your issues, whether it's about love and

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Speaker 1: friendship or both, or maybe you're having a hard time

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Speaker 1: at work or with a family member. Feel free to

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Speaker 1: leave your questions at speakpipe dot com, Slash Cheeky's and

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Speaker 1: Chill Podcast can't wait to hear from you. I love

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Speaker 1: you so much. Thank you for tuning in. This is

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Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio and the Microldura podcast Network. Follow

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Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me

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Speaker 1: Cheeky's that's c h i q u i s. For

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Speaker 1: us out on YouTube.