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Speaker 1: You don't know me.

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Speaker 2: Concession I can't take.

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Speaker 3: Back earl arms mouth speak Textan sevent eighty five ninety

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Speaker 3: two says, whenever someone asked me to take a picture

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Speaker 3: of them, I always take a few, then flip the

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Speaker 3: camera around to selfie mode and snap a couple of

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Speaker 3: Selfies's a little souvenir in there.

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Speaker 1: He does it to literally everyone ever we could be,

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Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter what lady, would you speak.

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Speaker 4: What country we're in?

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Speaker 1: Yes, everyone, And he doesn't take one of the other people.

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Speaker 4: He just takes it up himself and then hands it back.

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Speaker 3: If someone did that to me, I'd say, you know what, No,

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Speaker 3: just keep the phone.

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Speaker 4: You ruined it.

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Speaker 3: I don't want it any mode.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to tell you right now.

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Speaker 1: I guarantee there's listeners that have asked for pictures with

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Speaker 1: me that have a picture of my husband.

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Speaker 3: Michael better than and one of our listeners wants to

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Speaker 3: give us a selfie snapshot into his life. He's chosen

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Speaker 3: going to go by Keith. That's his fake name today.

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Speaker 3: So Keith, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, how's were going? Yo?

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Speaker 4: Keith? Please don't bring that dad humor? Okay?

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Speaker 3: Voice changer is on. Keith, you are the mass speaker.

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Speaker 3: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 2: I always wanted to tell this story about me and

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Speaker 2: my wife, but never had the chance to tell it.

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Speaker 4: What do you mean I never had the chance, Like

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Speaker 4: you were too scared or what.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's because my wife insists that I don't tell

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Speaker 2: the story.

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Speaker 3: Ah, you're gonna get paid your wife. Well, that's why

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Speaker 3: we keep you anonymous for this.

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Speaker 2: So I can't get in trouble today, right, I can't.

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Speaker 3: Wait to hear what I want to know what's going on?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So my wife and I were sitting out at

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Speaker 2: a bar a couple of years ago, and my wife

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Speaker 2: really likes animals. You have a huge animal activist, you know.

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Speaker 2: I think he's related to Doctor Doolittle, but we're not

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Speaker 2: sure animals.

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Speaker 3: Like, she'll grab a caterpillar.

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Speaker 2: A bear if I let her.

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Speaker 3: It's so cute. Okay, that's not a bad thing, yeah, right.

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Speaker 2: So what's sitting outside of the bar? And then all of

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Speaker 2: a sudden we hear this loud thud. We were like,

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Speaker 2: what the heck is that? So we looked up and

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Speaker 2: a pigeon had accidentally flew to the side of the

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Speaker 2: bar and like darning and knocked itself out. No.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you just hope that they're stunned and then they'll

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Speaker 4: get back.

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Speaker 2: Right. So my wife wastes no time boom springs in action.

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Speaker 2: She jumps out of the car, runs up to the

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Speaker 2: pigeons side. We find out that the pigeon is stunned.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's okay, but it's a little dazed and confused,

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Speaker 2: you know. Yeah. My wife turns around and looks up

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Speaker 2: at me and asks, can we take it to a

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Speaker 2: safe place. I'm like, oh my.

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Speaker 3: God, saving a pigeon.

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Speaker 2: Already, Oh god, Oh, a nice date has now turned

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Speaker 2: into pigeon rescue.

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Speaker 4: This Hey, you know, I'm sure this was in your vows.

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Speaker 4: You better pick that pigeon up.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, we pick up the bird hop in

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Speaker 2: the car. She wants to take it to a safe place,

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Speaker 2: like trying to find like a nearby park, because there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of traffic at the bar. She didn't want

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Speaker 2: anybody like step on it or kick it or anything

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 4: With a stunned pigeon.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, we have the pigeon wrapped up in one

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Speaker 2: of my jackets. So now you know, my jacket has

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Speaker 2: feathers on it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, possibly, right.

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Speaker 2: So she's seeing the pigeon time and we're going on

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Speaker 2: down the road and it starts to get a little

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Speaker 2: warm in the car. So my wife decided to turn

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Speaker 2: on the eight seat and that's where it turned. The

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Speaker 2: pigeon panic from hearing the ac kick on. Oh god,

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Speaker 2: it starts flapping its wings and starts going crazy.

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Speaker 4: Throw it out the windows. They're animal lovers. It's flapping.

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Speaker 3: It can probably Oh my god, that's scary.

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Speaker 2: Oh my oh, I guess the pigeon is okay.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing more like anxiety driven than like birds flapping it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god. So the pigeon starts flapping. My

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Speaker 2: wife starts screaming. Now the pigeon is flying all over

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Speaker 2: the car, and it starts going to the bathroom at

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Speaker 2: the same time.

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Speaker 3: It's like an uber ride home with a Lexus nap.

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Speaker 4: I give it to the back seating, the same thing.

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Speaker 4: Just throw the wh.

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Speaker 2: What do you do? So she screaming, trying to corral

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Speaker 2: the pigeon. I'm darn near swerving, trying to make sure

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Speaker 2: we don't crash.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, hopefully finding a place to pull over.

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Speaker 2: Right, So we pull over. Luckily there's a part coming up.

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Speaker 2: We jump out, take the bird over to a nice

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Speaker 2: you know, calm side walls. Nobody's coming buying it or anything.

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Speaker 1: And uh, this is it.

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Speaker 2: The car is a mess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, and it's gross and it's on the

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Speaker 1: outside of your wing on the inside, right.

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Speaker 2: So we put the pigeon down, We say goodbyes. You know,

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Speaker 2: we accomplished our good deed for the day.

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Speaker 4: If I would be a cussword, but yeah.

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Speaker 2: And just as we're walking back to a car, a

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Speaker 2: hawk swoops down and.

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Speaker 3: All that.

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Speaker 2: That.

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Speaker 4: You try to catch the hawk?

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Speaker 2: No, thank god the fast for my wife, yes.

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Speaker 3: Mouth giving it like a high speed car chase, following

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Speaker 3: it around the city.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I did learn it one of my

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Speaker 1: kids books that pigeons are the favorite meal of peregreene falcons.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, he like served them up on a platter

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Speaker 3: for it.

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Speaker 2: This time.

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Speaker 4: That was a Discovery channel lesson.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So get back to the car. Ends up being

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Speaker 2: a five hundred dollars detail to get all that cleaned up.

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Speaker 4: Has she rescued any wild animals since No, I.

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Speaker 2: Have come through the conclusion that I would never help

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Speaker 2: her again. She's free to do it on her own.

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Speaker 2: Just don't rope me into it, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, not just animals. You won't help her with

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Speaker 3: the chores around the house either, because who knows what's

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Speaker 3: going to go wrong with that too?

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Speaker 2: Who knows what is that? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: The worst part is she won't let you share the

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Speaker 4: story that's such a good.

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Speaker 3: Story doesn't come back to her, like basically setting up

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Speaker 3: a pigeon for its death, so if they could get

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Speaker 3: it text in seventy five nine too, If you have

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Speaker 3: a confession you've been holding on to, we can hid

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Speaker 3: your identity, mask your voice, and make you our next

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Speaker 3: mass speaker. Your phone taps coming up next