Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's Sophia, Welcome to Work in Progress. Hello friends,
Speaker 1: Today we have a guest who I am just so
Speaker 1: thrilled to welcome to the podcast. He is funny, He
Speaker 1: is a brilliant comedian. He is an incredible actor, producer,
Speaker 1: and an incredible dad to two of the sweetest little
Speaker 1: kids around. And he also happens to be a fellow
Speaker 1: foodie guys. Our guest today is none other than Jesse
Speaker 1: Tyler Ferguson. You likely know him from the pivotal role
Speaker 1: of Mitchell Pritchett on the ABC sitcom Modern Family. He
Speaker 1: just received a casual five Emmy Award nominations over the
Speaker 1: run of the show. I've been lucky enough to see
Speaker 1: him on stage when he takes Broadway by storm. You
Speaker 1: might have also seen him in Taylor Swift's music video
Speaker 1: for You Need to Calm Down, We're Out and about
Speaker 1: raising funds for equality with his wonderful husband, Justin Mikida.
Speaker 1: They got married back in twenty thirteen and they have
Speaker 1: two children, Beckett and Sullivan, who you will hear about today.
Speaker 1: I love everything about his story, from how they met
Speaker 1: and fell in love and became dads to all the
Speaker 1: way back when when Jesse grew up in Albuquerque and
Speaker 1: how he decided to go to New York. His story
Speaker 1: is inspiring, exciting, and has led him to his latest venture,
Speaker 1: his wonderful podcast, Dinners on Me. We're going deep, We're
Speaker 1: opening up, and we're gonna laugh, enjoy. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to see you. How are you.
Speaker 2: I'll see you. I'm great. I talk about you a
Speaker 2: lot with Clolton and Jordans. You do, I've been seeing
Speaker 2: a lot of them.
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. I want to come next time.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll invite you next time.
Speaker 1: Yes, my sweeties, they're very good. They're so good. I'm
Speaker 1: just so happy for them.
Speaker 2: Me too, me too?
Speaker 1: And how are you? How is your love? How are
Speaker 1: your little ones? Everybody good?
Speaker 2: Everyone's great, Sullivan. Our youngest is fifteen months now, and
Speaker 2: that gets three and a half, and you know, we're
Speaker 2: negotiating all of that, but it's really fun and Justin's good.
Speaker 2: Everyone's good.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad. I feel like negotiating with a three
Speaker 1: year old is a little bit like negotiating with a
Speaker 1: really adorable terrorist.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know that the terrorist
Speaker 2: is going to win.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. My godson's two and a half, and
Speaker 1: he I mean he is. He just seems like a litigator.
Speaker 1: Now he's like a professional button pusher and very like,
Speaker 1: but Mama, Auntie, why no, no, you just like I
Speaker 1: don't have time for the two of you, and we're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, who are you.
Speaker 2: It's funny because Justin's a lawyer and he's really good,
Speaker 2: Like it's hard to argue with him. He like brings
Speaker 2: up like if I can bring in, you know, exhibit A.
Speaker 2: When you said this, I'm like, oh my god, it's
Speaker 2: terrible arguing with you because you are really like good.
Speaker 2: I forget anything and now back I think has inherited
Speaker 2: that from Justin. And Justin's like, oh wow, that's what
Speaker 2: I do. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it. Well, that is hilarious. Okay, this is
Speaker 1: actually kind of a perfect segue because I always really
Speaker 1: like to start with people and go way back because
Speaker 1: you know, I sit across from people like you. You're
Speaker 1: so well known, you're so talented, you know, as an actor,
Speaker 1: and you're out advocating, you do all these big projects.
Speaker 1: But in the ways that you are talking about how
Speaker 1: you see Justin and your kid in your kids and yourself.
Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm wondering if you look back, like if
Speaker 1: we rewind to way before we all knew mister Jesse
Speaker 1: Tyler Ferguson, Like, who were you as a child? Do
Speaker 1: you see traits you know in your adult self when
Speaker 1: you look back at a little version of you who
Speaker 1: is like nine or ten years old.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. And also it's strange because I noticed
Speaker 2: myself talking to my kids, and then I have these
Speaker 2: like moments where I flash back and I'm having core
Speaker 2: memories that I didn't even realize I had, because I'm
Speaker 2: like having deja vu, or like I'm the kid and
Speaker 2: I'm my parents, And sometimes it's really cool and sometimes
Speaker 2: it's terrifying. But yeah, I definitely, I definitely see a
Speaker 2: lot of myself in Sullivan's. Sullivan's genetically mine and that
Speaker 2: gets genetically connected to Justin. Each had an embryo that
Speaker 2: we implanted, so we each have one that is genetically
Speaker 2: connected to us, and it's really astonishing at how close
Speaker 2: they are connected to us. But then also what's crazy
Speaker 2: is seeing how Justin's traits influence Sully and Sully's and
Speaker 2: you know, mine influence Beckett, and it's it is definitely
Speaker 2: a case for nurture over nature. You know, you see
Speaker 2: those those traits happening with your kids. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean I I as a kid, I was very
Speaker 2: very shy and very very emotional, and I see that
Speaker 2: in Beckett and I still feel like that is instilled
Speaker 2: in me, and I've just learned how to navigate it better.
Speaker 2: I mean, as an actor, you can't be shy, you know,
Speaker 2: that's something you just you can't do. But like if
Speaker 2: you really, if you really went into my body in
Speaker 2: one of those moments where I'm at like one of
Speaker 2: those Hollywood parties or like you know, in an audition
Speaker 2: or something like, I am not as confident as I'm
Speaker 2: appearing to be on the outside, for sure.
Speaker 1: Oh Sam, I'm absolutely the same.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think maybe that's a trait you have to have
Speaker 1: a little bit of to be an artist, right as
Speaker 1: you're super sensitive.
Speaker 2: Right and you have to pair that with being thick
Speaker 2: skinned as well and not letting small things, you know,
Speaker 2: bowl you over, which is hard. It's a hard it's
Speaker 2: a hard line to toe, and you know, to be
Speaker 2: someone who allows their emotions to come to the top,
Speaker 2: because that's what we need to access and then still
Speaker 2: protect it. It's like, you know, it's like being okay
Speaker 2: with like an open moond for the day and like
Speaker 2: nothing a band aid on it, like the like I
Speaker 2: just need, I need to access to this, but at
Speaker 2: the same time, I want to keep myself safe. So
Speaker 2: it's hard. It's a hard thing to figure out, but
Speaker 2: I definitely see I see small glimmers of that in
Speaker 2: my kids, where they're like figuring out, you know, how
Speaker 2: to uh negotiate with us and their friends and also
Speaker 2: get the things that they need and express the things
Speaker 2: that they want to express. But then also you know,
Speaker 2: they have no they have no rule books for them,
Speaker 2: and this is all new for them, and so everything
Speaker 2: is on the surface, and I don't know, it's kind
Speaker 2: of me Justin and I'm more open to having temper tantrums.
Speaker 2: Dustin and I got it like a big fight, and
Speaker 2: he was completely acknowledging that he was having a temper tantrum.
Speaker 2: He's like, this is me. Nothing I'm saying is has
Speaker 2: any logic to it. I can't defend any of these
Speaker 2: things that I'm saying, but I am feeling them, and
Speaker 2: I'm sorry you're the one who's happy to deal with it,
Speaker 2: but I'm basically having a temper tantrum. I was like,
Speaker 2: it's okay, I know how to deal with tempertantionments now,
Speaker 2: Like you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so interesting actually that seeing your kids be
Speaker 1: freer with their feelings in a way allows you to
Speaker 1: be because you're you're right. It's it's sort of this
Speaker 1: emotional whiplash. Is the way I talk about being an actor.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to be completely exposed but also completely composed
Speaker 1: at all times and the consummate professional and like a
Speaker 1: good soldier at work and all the things, and then
Speaker 1: you know, in a moment's notice, open your whole chest
Speaker 1: cavity up for everybody to look in, right, And how
Speaker 1: kind of cool that as an adult, you're getting a
Speaker 1: permission slip to have those less polished feelings from your children.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well for sure, you know, but we also just
Speaker 2: set an example. And I was like, you know, there's
Speaker 2: so many times where like I would normally react one way,
Speaker 2: and I don't react that way because I don't want
Speaker 2: to set a bad example. And that, you know, I
Speaker 2: can of held my hold myself accountable at times in
Speaker 2: ways that I wouldn't necessarily allow myself to, like, you know,
Speaker 2: react how I wanted to react.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's like there's a lot of growth on
Speaker 1: both sides of the coin. That's so cool. It's it's
Speaker 1: interesting to hear you talk about you being shy as
Speaker 1: a kid. I actually, when I was prepping for today,
Speaker 1: I was reading some older articles and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I actually didn't know. I didn't know
Speaker 1: the story of you getting into local theater as a child,
Speaker 1: and you are such an embodied performer and you're so funny.
Speaker 1: I never would have guessed that you were a shy kid.
Speaker 1: So how how did a shy little boy wind up
Speaker 1: wanting to sign up for theater? Like what?
Speaker 2: I know what happened? Yeah, my mom was so confused
Speaker 2: by that. When I told her I wanted to join
Speaker 2: the Albagaque Children's Theater. She you know, I was a
Speaker 2: kid who is bullied a lot in school. I was
Speaker 2: very quiet. I kept myself during lunch hour because you know,
Speaker 2: that was sort of like when it was the Wild
Speaker 2: Wild West, the playground and like you know, the teachers
Speaker 2: kind of disappeared and it was like every man for himself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so I. You know, I was just a very
Speaker 2: quiet kid. I kind of wanted to disappear and like
Speaker 2: not not make myself too flashy or too scene because
Speaker 2: that probably would lead to some unwonted attention that would
Speaker 2: ultimately lead to bullying. That was just my experience, and
Speaker 2: so I was sort of always in protection mode. And
Speaker 2: there was something my mom took me to go see
Speaker 2: the show and I saw kids performing for other kids
Speaker 2: in this company called the APPLECA Children's Theater, and I
Speaker 2: immediately wanted to be on the other side of the footlights.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to be sitting in the audience wow.
Speaker 2: And I asked my mom if I could get involved,
Speaker 2: and I think because I was so shoy, she was
Speaker 2: just like anything that any glimmer of something. And I
Speaker 2: understand this now as a parent. You know, anytime my
Speaker 2: children show interest in anything, I'm like, do you want
Speaker 2: to explore more? Or that? You know, like they tapped
Speaker 2: their foot once, so I'm like, are we go we
Speaker 2: doing tap class? So like, my mom definitely noticed that
Speaker 2: I was interested in something and jumped in and nurtured
Speaker 2: that and helped me along. And it was one of
Speaker 2: those things where I found this group of people that
Speaker 2: understood me and that I felt at home with and
Speaker 2: I felt comfortable with, and I was not singled out
Speaker 2: as the weird one anymore. It's like we were all
Speaker 2: kind of like wacky kids and you know, playing theater
Speaker 2: games and it was all really innocent. We weren't like
Speaker 2: diving into Chekov or Shakespeare or anything. It was just
Speaker 2: like dumb theater games and you know, we perform alise
Speaker 2: in Wonderland, you know, at the end of the spring,
Speaker 2: and like that was it. It was all that that was.
Speaker 2: But I definitely found community in a way that I
Speaker 2: hadn't before. And that community is what, you know, I
Speaker 2: guess made me feel safe to become more of who
Speaker 2: I am. And it was just also a very early
Speaker 2: seed of me realizing that I needed to wherever I was,
Speaker 2: I needed to continue to find those types of people
Speaker 2: for myself because you know, my my schools that I
Speaker 2: was growing up and didn't have a great arts program.
Speaker 2: It was very sports centric, and it's just it wasn't
Speaker 2: catered to someone like me. I was, you know, not
Speaker 2: interested in sports. I was an indoor kid, and I yeah,
Speaker 2: I liked expressing myself through other ways. And it's why
Speaker 2: you know, I when I moved to New York, I
Speaker 2: felt like, Okay, I'm in the right place and I'm
Speaker 2: around the right people, and but yeah, I'm glad. I
Speaker 2: found that kernel of community at a very early age,
Speaker 2: and I probably didn't even recognize that that's what it
Speaker 2: was at that age. It just felt comfortable and I
Speaker 2: felt safe, which was really lovely.
Speaker 1: That's so special and what a cool place for you
Speaker 1: to come out of your shell and you know, find
Speaker 1: your confidence, literally find your voice on stage? Did once
Speaker 1: you started? Were your parents just all in on supporting
Speaker 1: that for you? Like, what did you becoming a young
Speaker 1: performer sort of do in your family dynamic?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean they were. It was just like an
Speaker 2: extracurricular thing. Like my sister would go to tap class
Speaker 2: and my brother would have basketball, and I would do theater.
Speaker 2: It's just you know, they they would have to come
Speaker 2: see this thing that I was performing, you know, once
Speaker 2: or twice a year, and it was always, you know,
Speaker 2: let's be honest, not great. And so I think for
Speaker 2: my entire family it was kind of like, oh, theater
Speaker 2: is this thing that's kind of boring and not you know,
Speaker 2: super exciting, and we sort of have to like endure
Speaker 2: it for a certain amount of time. But I was like, well,
Speaker 2: you know, is Ben's basketball game anymore exciting? They're just kids,
Speaker 2: Like they barely know how to play basketball. Like I
Speaker 2: was like, none of these events that were going to
Speaker 2: my sister's tap classes and anything super exciting. It's not
Speaker 2: river dance like you know. So yeah, but they were
Speaker 2: very very supportive, and you know, we were all encouraged
Speaker 2: to support our siblings and their different you know, adventures,
Speaker 2: and but I definitely was I felt like my sister
Speaker 2: understood the arts a little bit because she was very
Speaker 2: involved in dance, but definitely like my dad and my
Speaker 2: brother and maybe sometimes my mom just like they didn't
Speaker 2: really fully understand like where the joy in theater was.
Speaker 2: You know, well, yeah, they.
Speaker 1: Weren't in rehearsals in the circus troop.
Speaker 2: With right exactly. You know, they were just they weren't
Speaker 2: there for the fun stuff. But I always felt very
Speaker 2: very supportive by them.
Speaker 1: So cool follow that that's really special. Was it a
Speaker 1: total culture shock for you to move from Albuquerque to
Speaker 1: New York? And did you go for theater or a
Speaker 1: job or to find a job, like what motivated the move?
Speaker 2: I always knew that I wanted to move to New York,
Speaker 2: even when I didn't know what New York was. I
Speaker 2: my exposure to New York was like from the films,
Speaker 2: from watching you know, Broadway shows on the Tony Awards,
Speaker 2: and you know, like just like kids' books, kids books
Speaker 2: at New York. You know, I had this very like
Speaker 2: idyllic like idea of what New York was. And I
Speaker 2: went to New York for the first time on a
Speaker 2: high school tour with my my local theater company. And
Speaker 2: I was the youngest person on this tour by like
Speaker 2: thirty years. It was mostly like blue Hairs and me
Speaker 2: and I just fell in love with the city. I
Speaker 2: saw like, you know, eight shows in five days. So
Speaker 2: I knew that was my first exposure to New York
Speaker 2: and I just knew I had to find my way
Speaker 2: back there as soon as I could. And after after
Speaker 2: high school, I went to the the American Musical and
Speaker 2: Dramatic Academy in New York City, which I had been
Speaker 2: accepted to, and my dad drove me there across the
Speaker 2: country and bladed up things and you know the back
Speaker 2: of his suburban car and uh, you know, watching a
Speaker 2: man with the suburban from New Mexico. Drive through the
Speaker 2: streets of New York City is terrifying. You know. We
Speaker 2: were just a massive car from a Midwest and just
Speaker 2: you know, he was terrified to drive and all these
Speaker 2: one way streets, it was. It was a mess, but
Speaker 2: he got me there safely, and yeah, I just felt
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe that I actually had a bed in
Speaker 2: the city that I had always wanted to live in.
Speaker 2: It was so I think like it was a culture
Speaker 2: shock in ways, and that I felt like the world
Speaker 2: was open to me, but I wasn't. It wasn't a
Speaker 2: shock that scared me. It was a shock that was
Speaker 2: really super exc well.
Speaker 1: And especially to go into the city and go right
Speaker 1: into an academy of the arts, I bet just felt
Speaker 1: like the next sort of evolutionary step in that community
Speaker 1: where you found yourself in the first place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was a safety net too. I mean,
Speaker 2: for me, it was mostly about being in New York
Speaker 2: City and I didn't really care how I was going
Speaker 2: to find a way to be there, But the Academy
Speaker 2: of Dramatic Arts definitely gave me a safe landing spot.
Speaker 2: And you know, obviously it was wonderful being in acting
Speaker 2: classes and meeting other aspiring actors from different places. But
Speaker 2: for me, I think I really just needed to find
Speaker 2: a way to get to New York and that was
Speaker 2: sort of my ticket to the city I wanted to
Speaker 2: live in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll be back in just a minute, but here's
Speaker 1: a word from our sponsors. I love the image of
Speaker 1: you and your dad and the suburban trying to naw
Speaker 1: the gay Manhattan. It's so sweet, and the way that you,
Speaker 1: you know, talk about him and your relationship. I also
Speaker 1: I've laughed hearing you talk about how you had to
Speaker 1: come out to your dad three times. Yeah, Like it
Speaker 1: feels like an amazing It feels like a movie. It
Speaker 1: feels like a scene in a comedy that you would watch,
Speaker 1: which I imagine it probably was much more emotional and different.
Speaker 2: You know, I r l right. I like that it
Speaker 2: exists because it's it's a fun, like quirky thing to
Speaker 2: talk about when you're talking about your coming out experience.
Speaker 2: And I still going to sort of make fun of
Speaker 2: my dad for it, because you know, obviously he knows now,
Speaker 2: like he's it's all clear. He was at my wedding,
Speaker 2: He's seen you know, he loves his ye, he's right,
Speaker 2: but it is fun to sort of hold that over
Speaker 2: his head for sure.
Speaker 1: Was that a conversation you were having when you were
Speaker 1: still at home or did you need the buffer of
Speaker 1: New York to feel like you could talk to him
Speaker 1: about who you are.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've heard this, Sophia, but my
Speaker 2: I sort of I feel like I came out. I
Speaker 2: came out in my eyes officially when I was caught
Speaker 2: stealing gay pornography from Hastings Books when I was sixteen
Speaker 2: years old. For me, I feel like that was a
Speaker 2: pretty clear coming out, right, you know, I was stealing
Speaker 2: gay porn.
Speaker 1: Write the writing's on the wall or in the magazine.
Speaker 2: On the wall, literally magazine. Yeah, And so for me,
Speaker 2: I was always like, okay, well, at least I don't
Speaker 2: have to come out to my parents, like it was
Speaker 2: awful because I was being punished for shoplifting. But I
Speaker 2: was like, well, you know, also, I got to sort
Speaker 2: of kill two birds with one stone. I shoplifted for
Speaker 2: the first time and got caught doing what we I
Speaker 2: shouldn't have done, but also like they know I'm gay now,
Speaker 2: and then it didn't seem like that was enough, And
Speaker 2: so my mom. When I went to school, she wrote
Speaker 2: me a letter. We still talked in person about this,
Speaker 2: but we had sort of talked around it, but not
Speaker 2: directly at it. And she wrote me a letter saying,
Speaker 2: you know, I This was after she came to visit
Speaker 2: me for a week in New York and she met
Speaker 2: my roommate who was sort of dating at the time.
Speaker 2: And I think, you know, anyone probably with two eyes
Speaker 2: could have seen what was happening, right, And uh so
Speaker 2: she's saying, I know that you're gay and probably together
Speaker 2: with your your friend and your roommate, and I just
Speaker 2: want to let you know that I'm here if you
Speaker 2: want to talk about it. And so it was very sweet.
Speaker 2: And she told my dad you know that she had
Speaker 2: that conversation with me to a letter, and so I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, good now, my dad actually, you know,
Speaker 2: he really knows. And then clear then he came to
Speaker 2: visit me in New York and he asked if I
Speaker 2: had a girlfriend, and I was like, okay, Dad, are
Speaker 2: we what are we not getting here? So that's when
Speaker 2: I kind of verbally officially came out to him. But
Speaker 2: so sweet, Yeah, yeah, it was a little bit rocky.
Speaker 1: I wonder if I wonder if he was, like, well,
Speaker 1: if he hasn't told me, maybe I need to ask
Speaker 1: better questions. Maybe I should pulk around and see if
Speaker 1: he'll say it to me.
Speaker 2: He said it to his Yeah, it totally tracks with
Speaker 2: like who my dad is, and I love that he
Speaker 2: like kind of is. He's a bit vulnerable at times
Speaker 2: and that can be a bit a bit uh, what's
Speaker 2: the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 1: Naive?
Speaker 2: He's very in a really sweet way. So yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: not super surprised now that I've kind of watched him
Speaker 2: operator as an adult that that's sort of like where
Speaker 2: he was at. Yeah, it's also you know, when we
Speaker 2: sort of were talking about this, me and my dad,
Speaker 2: I remember him at one point we've had bumps even
Speaker 2: after that where he sort of asked me questions that like,
Speaker 2: you know, why do you play some gay roles or
Speaker 2: you know, why is it so important for you to
Speaker 2: you know, always talk about you know, you being out,
Speaker 2: And a lot of times it was just him sort
Speaker 2: of being inquisitive, but it felt like he was sort
Speaker 2: of berating me a little bit or not, like fully
Speaker 2: he wasn't fully on board with like my my life
Speaker 2: and my choices so it caused some friction between us,
Speaker 2: and I know that. At one point he said, you know,
Speaker 2: this is I was raised a very different way, and
Speaker 2: these are things that I just I have a hard
Speaker 2: time sort of I'm programming for myself. And I can
Speaker 2: totally understand that, because you know, we've all been raised
Speaker 2: in certain ways, and we all have trauma and baggage
Speaker 2: that we carry through from childhood and from the way
Speaker 2: we were raised. And sometimes it's great and sometimes it's
Speaker 2: not great. And you know, I told my dad, I
Speaker 2: was like, look, you were at this time of his life.
Speaker 2: He was probably in his early sixties, and I was like,
Speaker 2: you know, you have so many more lives, so many
Speaker 2: more years ahead of you. It's just such a disservice
Speaker 2: to you as a person to say I'm done growing
Speaker 2: and like I can't continue to see the other side
Speaker 2: of things and I'm a fully formed, completed human being
Speaker 2: sketched in stone, Like that doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker 2: Like we are all capable of change and growth, and
Speaker 2: why just because you're over the age of fifties you
Speaker 2: feel like you can't grow? Yeah, And he I think
Speaker 2: he heard that, and he started going to pee flag
Speaker 2: meetings and which is an organization that is in supportive
Speaker 2: of parents who have gay kids. It's like he loves
Speaker 2: the support group my dad, so you know, he sort
Speaker 2: of dove all in and was a great it was
Speaker 2: a really great advocate. So I'm really proud of him.
Speaker 2: And I think also that growth for me is beautiful. Like,
Speaker 2: I love that he had that and I love that
Speaker 2: he experienced that with my encouragement, and I you know,
Speaker 2: when I look at Modern Family and I look at
Speaker 2: the relationship that they wrote for me and Ed O'Neill,
Speaker 2: who played my dad on TV, like he also had
Speaker 2: a very tricky time, you know, accepting his gay son
Speaker 2: on the show. And I've loved that that's the story
Speaker 2: they told us. I think it's obviously very real. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's it's something I think that a lot of
Speaker 2: people can relate to. And I think that struggle is
Speaker 2: part of you know, is also part of a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and what I love about the way you're
Speaker 1: sharing this with me is that you're talking about loving
Speaker 1: someone through their imperfections, through their fears. You know, I
Speaker 1: know so many parents who fear anything that might make
Speaker 1: it harder for their kid to have an easy life.
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean the fear is right, it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean anyone should act out of it, but you being
Speaker 1: willing to speak to your dad in that way where
Speaker 1: you were clear and encouraging, but also like willing to
Speaker 1: stand in front of him and challenge him to grow more,
Speaker 1: love more, Like I think that's how we journey together.
Speaker 1: And what a beautiful thing you got to do in
Speaker 1: your own life, and to your point, you got to
Speaker 1: set an example of on screen. It wouldn't have been
Speaker 1: as interesting to watch a story where everybody was just
Speaker 1: perfectly on board with everybody from the beginning. Like then
Speaker 1: there's no comedy, there's no drama, there's there's nothing to
Speaker 1: watch but to model loving people through their friction, meeting
Speaker 1: them where they are and helping them grow for the
Speaker 1: days where it's good and the days where it's bad. Like,
Speaker 1: I think that's the best of us, and how how
Speaker 1: beautiful that you got to do it in your family
Speaker 1: And also like sort of sparkly, I hate to be
Speaker 1: like feels like fate and sound like the most la
Speaker 1: person in the world, but it feels sort of faded
Speaker 1: that you got to represent that story on the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure, And you know, I think a
Speaker 2: lot of that was sparked from me telling stories about
Speaker 2: my dad And I told the writers that that I
Speaker 2: did sort of have to come out to him three times,
Speaker 2: and they thought that was hilarious, and so, you know,
Speaker 2: I think a lot of you know, in the pilot episode,
Speaker 2: they had a sort of already laid groundwork down that
Speaker 2: that Jay is sort of, you know, cautiously. You know,
Speaker 2: he's he's cautious around his sun and you know, he
Speaker 2: basically knocks every time he walks into because he thinks
Speaker 2: they're going to be like naked and making out. But
Speaker 2: it was fun to sort of offer them some sort
Speaker 2: of nuances to that idea, that trope of a father
Speaker 2: who's still growing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you feel like? I mean, you had
Speaker 1: so many incredible seasons, you brought us all so much
Speaker 1: joy for so long. What do you feel like in
Speaker 1: hindsight when you look back at it, you learned about
Speaker 1: yourself playing Mitchell? Like, what is being part of a
Speaker 1: show like that when you really have digested it and
Speaker 1: sat with it On the.
Speaker 2: Other end, Yeah, I mean it's I continue to remind
Speaker 2: myself that when I was growing up, I didn't have
Speaker 2: that example of someone on television. I didn't have an
Speaker 2: aspirational pop culture figure to sort of look toward. And
Speaker 2: I can confidently say that that exists now, and that
Speaker 2: I'm not the only one who makes that exist. I
Speaker 2: think a lot of people held the door open for me,
Speaker 2: and I certainly hope, I hope that I'm holding the
Speaker 2: door open for others. But I think there's so much
Speaker 2: more representation on television now than there was, you know,
Speaker 2: even just yesterday. I mean, but I think we're all
Speaker 2: constantly getting better, and there's still so much much work
Speaker 2: to be done. But I you know when you're when
Speaker 2: you're in it, and you know this from just being
Speaker 2: you know, a professional actress yourself, Like when you're in it,
Speaker 2: it's like you have to you have to sort of
Speaker 2: shut out the noise of like of the things that are,
Speaker 2: you know, influencing your work, and especially if it's cultural
Speaker 2: things Like I never wanted to feel like Eric and
Speaker 2: I wen under pressure to represent an entire community with
Speaker 2: these characters like I just I needed we needed just
Speaker 2: to make them real, and we need to needed to
Speaker 2: make them funny, and we needed to make them relatable,
Speaker 2: and we wanted people to fall in love with them.
Speaker 2: That was sort of what our work was. We sort
Speaker 2: of have to shut it out, and through shutting it out,
Speaker 2: through shutting out, like the cultural noise of the importance
Speaker 2: of these characters are the importance of the show.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I think we sometimes weren't allowed to let ourselves really
Speaker 2: breathe in the moment when it was happening, and I
Speaker 2: have time myself like, we have to really enjoy this,
Speaker 2: We have to really enjoy this because this isn't gonna
Speaker 2: last forever. But at the same time, we had a
Speaker 2: job to do, so it was it was sort of
Speaker 2: impossible to separate yourself too far from it. But now
Speaker 2: there's a whole new generation of kids like discovering modern
Speaker 2: family for the first time. And I meet these people
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, you were you were not born
Speaker 2: when the pilot air Like you were discovering this now
Speaker 2: on Netflix or wherever it's airing, And we have a
Speaker 2: whole new fan base, which is really exciting. So now
Speaker 2: when I'm meeting those people, I definitely allow myself to
Speaker 2: get swept up into sort of how how much of
Speaker 2: a privilege it was to be able to play those Roles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, I love that. It's funny feel. I kind
Speaker 1: of feel the same way about One Tree Hell now. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, we did it for nine years. It some
Speaker 1: of our experiences were great and some were not so great.
Speaker 1: And when we first finished, it was like, don't talk
Speaker 1: to me about it. And we all felt this. All
Speaker 1: of us were like, we're done, We're moving on. We're
Speaker 1: going to the next thing. We don't want to talk
Speaker 1: about it, dwell on it, whatever. And now you know,
Speaker 1: I'll meet I meet these young girls that are in
Speaker 1: college who've just discovered the show, and they're like, Brook
Speaker 1: Davis taught me to never settle for a man who
Speaker 1: doesn't deserve me, and she taught me, and they like,
Speaker 1: they give me these life lessons from this character. And
Speaker 1: I'm and I'm obsessed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am in.
Speaker 1: Love with it. And I am like in love with
Speaker 1: this person that I played in a way now that
Speaker 1: I couldn't have been when we were doing it, nor
Speaker 1: could I even have been I think in the immediate
Speaker 1: years after we were done. And now I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with her. Like you think you're her biggest fan,
Speaker 1: I'm her biggest fan, you know. It's so funny.
Speaker 2: Does it feel to you sometimes that for me, it
Speaker 2: feels like another life time, Like I don't know who
Speaker 2: that person is. Good. I mean, when I was doing
Speaker 2: the show, I didn't have kids, Like there was just
Speaker 2: so much that was different then. My life was so different.
Speaker 2: I'm living in a house that I didn't live in
Speaker 2: when I was doing the show. Like, it just feels
Speaker 2: like this weird, sort of alternate universe that I inhabited
Speaker 2: for a little while.
Speaker 1: Well way, the only way I know how to describe
Speaker 1: it to people is that it's a very strange experience
Speaker 1: of temporary permanence. Season to season. You have no idea
Speaker 1: if you're going to get picked up. It takes your
Speaker 1: whole entire life. But also you're supposed to maintain your
Speaker 1: real life outside of the thing. I think for us
Speaker 1: it was even trickier because we were on location, so
Speaker 1: I would live in North Carolina for ten months out
Speaker 1: of the year, and no matter what, I always sort
Speaker 1: of felt like I couldn't hold everything up. I was
Speaker 1: like spinning a few too many plates, right, And it
Speaker 1: is really weird. It feels because it kind of feels
Speaker 1: like a time warp. You're like that was my whole life,
Speaker 1: but it also wasn't my real life. And it's both,
Speaker 1: and it's I don't know, I'm like it is is
Speaker 1: being on a show like the shows we were on
Speaker 1: for as long as we were Is that the Schrodinger's
Speaker 1: cat of being an actor? Like, I don't know, is
Speaker 1: it alive or dead? It's both?
Speaker 2: It's nothing right right, right, right? I know, I know,
Speaker 2: it's it's a it's a wild, wild job. I mean
Speaker 2: tymeer Roll and I would sometimes just burst into laughter
Speaker 2: because you couldn't believe that this was a job that
Speaker 2: a grown person would do. Yeah, like you know, memorizing
Speaker 2: words that you didn't write and putting pretending to be
Speaker 2: someone else. Like we would just sometimes get the giggles
Speaker 2: because like we would catch each other doing the doing
Speaker 2: the job, like doing this ridiculous thing that we're supposed
Speaker 2: to do is probably the character and then like catching
Speaker 2: the eye one that I'd be like that, this is ridiculous,
Speaker 2: that's like what are we doing me to do this?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, it's so crazy. Yeah, and now a word
Speaker 1: from our sponsors who make this show possible. It's so
Speaker 1: all encompassing being on something like that and a schedule
Speaker 1: like that. How did you manage to figure out how
Speaker 1: to carve out time for your other passions? Because to
Speaker 1: your point, you know, you didn't have kids yet when
Speaker 1: you were on the show, but you'd met your now husband,
Speaker 1: you know, you were building a life, and then you'd
Speaker 1: go and do amazing theater. I mean, my god, I
Speaker 1: got to come and see your one man show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that like knocked my socks off, it was so fun.
Speaker 1: How how did you figure out how to make room
Speaker 1: for your life inside of a project that basically took
Speaker 1: up your whole life?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I started to feel a little bit
Speaker 2: of security with with Modern Family after you know, I
Speaker 2: mean we won an Emmy right out of the gate
Speaker 2: for Best Comedy. But you know, again, like so cooled
Speaker 2: the rest of development, and that also was canceled after
Speaker 2: a few seasons. So because after a few years, I
Speaker 2: sort of felt like, Okay, this thing is definitely going
Speaker 2: to stick around for a little while. So I was
Speaker 2: able to relax a bit and really sort of let myself,
Speaker 2: let myself go and fall into other projects when I
Speaker 2: had a hiatus. But also, I mean, theater never for
Speaker 2: me never took a backseat to doing film. And television.
Speaker 2: I always that's where my first love is, and doing
Speaker 2: TV was this like weird thing that I sort of
Speaker 2: fell into and I love doing it and I love
Speaker 2: the job and I love the job security it gave me.
Speaker 2: But I sort of also was grateful that then it
Speaker 2: allowed me to go do you know, Shakespeare in the
Speaker 2: Park for you know, six weeks in the summer and
Speaker 2: not get paid a ton, but still be okay to like,
Speaker 2: you know, pay the bills at the end of the
Speaker 2: summer because I was had saved enough. So it sort
Speaker 2: of gave me freedom to do other things. And you know,
Speaker 2: in in terms of that one man show that you saw,
Speaker 2: I was playing forty different characters and working with silent. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's crazy.
Speaker 1: Will you tell listeners at home a little bit about it,
Speaker 1: because I'm still not over it and it's been years.
Speaker 2: It's so funny. So it's a show called Fully Committed.
Speaker 2: It's a one man show, and it's about a reservationist
Speaker 2: who works at a very very high end restaurant and
Speaker 2: his coworker has not shown up for that day's work
Speaker 2: and so he's just slammed when the line's open for
Speaker 2: the restaurant, taking reservations, and the whole play takes place
Speaker 2: over the phone, So he plays not only himself, but
Speaker 2: he plays all the people trying on the other end
Speaker 2: of the line trying to get reservations to this restaurant.
Speaker 2: He plays the chef, he plays the maitre d, he
Speaker 2: plays the hostess, he plays the restaurant critic who's trying
Speaker 2: to get in. He plays his father. You know, he's
Speaker 2: also on the phone with throughout the day. And you know,
Speaker 2: it's a really challenging piece, and every actor who sort
Speaker 2: of tackles it, no, it's gonna be a challenging piece.
Speaker 2: So I knew going into it. This was the first
Speaker 2: Broadway revival of it. It had only been off Broadway before
Speaker 2: when I was offered this, and so I think I'd
Speaker 2: started working on it about a year before actually started
Speaker 2: official rehearsals, just memorizing the play and working with a
Speaker 2: dialect coach on my own time, trying to figure out
Speaker 2: what these different characters sound like. You know. She also
Speaker 2: worked at Juilliard, so she would sometimes have her students
Speaker 2: who are from different places, record them saying the lines
Speaker 2: so that I could maybe sort of you know, imitate
Speaker 2: them to sort of get the authenticity down. But then again,
Speaker 2: it's a play where there are forty characters and are
Speaker 2: snapping between, you know, between themselves really quickly, and you're
Speaker 2: basically in dialogue with yourself. So there was also this
Speaker 2: this job of like not being too subtle and too
Speaker 2: real with anything, because these people need to be immediately recognizable.
Speaker 2: So it was it was a really tough line to
Speaker 2: to figure out when it comes to tone and just
Speaker 2: the brevity of like not brevity levity, which is the
Speaker 2: exact opposite the levity of like, you know, the just
Speaker 2: having to learn a huge, you know, ninety minute play
Speaker 2: that no one else is speaking in it always.
Speaker 1: I mean it was breathtaking. I have rarely been so entertained.
Speaker 1: And also at the end of the play, I was
Speaker 1: exhausted for you. Yeah, like when you actually greeted everyone backstage,
Speaker 1: I was like, are you okay? Why are you hunging
Speaker 1: us go home? Like does someone have an ice bag
Speaker 1: for you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean it was it was really astonishing. It's so
Speaker 1: cool to hear that you had the sort of wherewithal
Speaker 1: to say, oh, I'm going to spend a year prepping
Speaker 1: even before rehearsal, because this is such a big thing.
Speaker 2: There was no way. But I did drive my Modern
Speaker 2: Family cast members crazy because I would trust out accents.
Speaker 2: I think actually Sophia was even like, there's an opportunity
Speaker 2: at the end of the play for a little cameo
Speaker 2: of someone who just picks up the phone. It's a celebrity,
Speaker 2: and I think in the original version of like Wwyneth
Speaker 2: paltr or something, but I did Sophia instead, so funny
Speaker 2: a little cameo, So she even made it into the play.
Speaker 1: It's so cutie. How I mean, you have such a
Speaker 1: work ethic and obviously such passion for what you do.
Speaker 1: And you're a producer and you you are, you're working
Speaker 1: in film and television, You're doing incredible theater, You're keeping
Speaker 1: that beautiful you know, industry going. How how do you
Speaker 1: and Justin navigate the intensity of your work lives and
Speaker 1: how much you both love what you do Now that
Speaker 1: you have two little kids, do you do you sort
Speaker 1: of have to trade off at certain times or do
Speaker 1: you just have a village that helps when you're both slammed?
Speaker 1: A little bit of all about.
Speaker 2: A little bit of both. I mean, it's tricky because
Speaker 2: you know, as an actor, you you get these opportunities,
Speaker 2: and sometimes they take you away for a few weeks
Speaker 2: and we have to sort of rewigyh about you know what.
Speaker 2: Before I would just do everything that I wanted to do,
Speaker 2: and I have to really think about so I need
Speaker 2: to be away for six weeks or two months. And
Speaker 2: Justin's been very good about stepping in when he needs to.
Speaker 2: But you know, when I was doing the play last
Speaker 2: I was doing to play last year on Broadway, and
Speaker 2: our son was born during that time, so I came
Speaker 2: home for the birth. I was here for a few days,
Speaker 2: and then I had to go back to New York
Speaker 2: to finish the run, and so I would go back occasionally,
Speaker 2: you know, for my days off. But I was home
Speaker 2: for like maybe twenty three hours and having to turn
Speaker 2: around go back to New York. So it was a lot,
Speaker 2: and I know that during that time it was really
Speaker 2: taxing on Justin. So you know, I knew that when
Speaker 2: I came back, not only was I going to be
Speaker 2: like hitting the ground running with the kids, but like
Speaker 2: I needed to carve out time for him to get
Speaker 2: away and spend time with his friends and sort of
Speaker 2: turn off a bit, because he had definitely picked up
Speaker 2: the slack. So he definitely earned, you know, that that
Speaker 2: time alone. But I try and like be very cognizant
Speaker 2: of the fact that when I do go away, you know,
Speaker 2: it's a lot on him.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: He's also been very good about reminding himself that when
Speaker 2: I go away, I am working. It's not like I'm
Speaker 2: just I love what I do so much. I'm so
Speaker 2: lucky that, like my job brings me so much joy.
Speaker 2: But it is, you know, it's a it's a full
Speaker 2: time thing when you're when you're in work mode, and yeah,
Speaker 2: you have to really take care of yourself and you
Speaker 2: have to go to betterly and like even if you
Speaker 2: have a long day on set where there's like big
Speaker 2: breaks in the day, like you're not just resting, you're
Speaker 2: trying to always like be prepared for them when you're
Speaker 2: being called to set, and so it's exhausting. And so
Speaker 2: he's reminded that, you know, I also am not on
Speaker 2: vacation when I'm doing this fun thing that I love doing, Right,
Speaker 2: I just I'm lucky that I got to be enjoying
Speaker 2: my job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's so cool and the and
Speaker 1: the things that it enables you to do. I mean
Speaker 1: even you guys. You know, launching Tie the Not, you know,
Speaker 1: creating an organization that is near and dear to your
Speaker 1: heart is something that you get to go out and
Speaker 1: talk about because you have this great, big platform right right.
Speaker 2: That was very important to us for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Can you can you tell our listeners a little
Speaker 1: bit about it? Sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean Justin's always been an activists, He's been
Speaker 2: very politically active. When I met him, he was graduating
Speaker 2: from law school and was working on the Proposition eight case,
Speaker 2: which was proposition that was that was it took away
Speaker 2: marriage rights for saying sex couples here in California back
Speaker 2: in like two thousand and eleven or something, and we
Speaker 2: we formed Tie the Knot, which was an organization that
Speaker 2: raised money for the people in the trenches fighting for
Speaker 2: marriage equality. Specifically, we were kind of fighting for Prop
Speaker 2: eight to get overturned and then and then from there
Speaker 2: we were obviously looking towards full federal marriage equality across
Speaker 2: the United States. But we are are founded. We raised
Speaker 2: money basically by selling bow ties, which was you know,
Speaker 2: a kind of funny, quirky, interesting, lighthearted way of nodding
Speaker 2: to a marriage. And then you know, we've sold a
Speaker 2: lot of other products as well. But I've all always
Speaker 2: been the type of activists who doesn't really use a bullhorn,
Speaker 2: like I don't really need to be arrested on the
Speaker 2: steps of city hall like I like to. I like
Speaker 2: to to definitely use my voice and make make myself heard.
Speaker 2: But I find that doing it the more a lighthearted way,
Speaker 2: and through comedy and through you know, just being more
Speaker 2: authentically who I am is just a better thing for me.
Speaker 2: So this foundation really felt, it felt it felt unique,
Speaker 2: and it felt very I don't know, it felt personal,
Speaker 2: and it felt it felt like it was very It
Speaker 2: came from our hearts, like we really you know, we're
Speaker 2: able to raise money doing something that felt like it
Speaker 2: was authentically us. So we raised over a million dollars
Speaker 2: of the course of of Type Not and then we
Speaker 2: recent rebranded Type Not to pronoun So we're still we're
Speaker 2: still raising money for the LGBTQ community, but it's a
Speaker 2: bit of a broader scope that we're raising money for.
Speaker 2: It's the longer marriage e quality, which we now have achieved,
Speaker 2: but you know, LGBTQ rights and trans writes and all
Speaker 2: that good stuff.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm a larger umbrella of equality that you
Speaker 1: know so many people unfortunately are trying to chip away
Speaker 1: at year after year. I can't remember did I ever
Speaker 1: send you the picture I wore one of your bow
Speaker 1: ties was like a sort of like a burgundy chocolate
Speaker 1: with little owls on it. And the little owls are
Speaker 1: like in blue and yellow and I wore it with
Speaker 1: a navy tuxedo that I had. Okay, good, I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: do you have that photo?
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed, I do. You've always been such a supporter
Speaker 2: of us.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I just adore you guys, and you know
Speaker 1: you've You've always just been so kind and wonderful, and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a I'm a fan of what you
Speaker 1: both do. But I'm a fan of you guys as humans.
Speaker 1: Thank you me cuty okay, And as if you don't
Speaker 1: do enough things with all of your activism in theater
Speaker 1: and film and television and being a dad. You have
Speaker 1: a podcast, talk to us about Dinners on Me. I'm
Speaker 1: obsessed with it, mostly because all I wanted to eat
Speaker 1: and I just I love it. I have so many questions.
Speaker 1: Tell the people what you're up to?
Speaker 2: Yes, So I have this podcast that I started. I
Speaker 2: guess about a year ago. I mean, my career has
Speaker 2: always been a series of things that I didn't expect
Speaker 2: to do that I've been given opportunity to do and
Speaker 2: then I ended up enjoying. So I when these jobs
Speaker 2: come to me that I'm like, I never imagine myself
Speaker 2: as that. I really take a beat and I think, okay,
Speaker 2: but is it something that I might have fun doing?
Speaker 2: And this was certainly one of those opportunities. I never
Speaker 2: wanted to have a podcast. I had been on a
Speaker 2: million of them. You know, it just seemed like an
Speaker 2: extra job that I would have to do, but I
Speaker 2: didn't know I was I was like, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to know if I if I enjoyed doing this unless
Speaker 2: I actually do it. So I accepted the offer to
Speaker 2: host this podcast, and the producers knew I was a
Speaker 2: big foodie and they had this idea of sort of
Speaker 2: combining my love of food and eating out a restaurant
Speaker 2: with a conversation. And you know, I feel like the
Speaker 2: best conversations happened of a really great meal. So, uh,
Speaker 2: the first season was a huge success, and we started
Speaker 2: off with Julie Bowen. I took her to a restaurant
Speaker 2: called Republic here in California. It was during a during
Speaker 2: a atmospheric river, much like we're having today. And it
Speaker 2: launched off a really great season of episodes. And I
Speaker 2: went to restaurants in New York and in Los Angeles
Speaker 2: and had everyone on from Padma Lakshmi and Chelsea Clinton
Speaker 2: to Sarah Highland and Isaac Msrahi and some great chefs
Speaker 2: were on last season. And I just launched my second season.
Speaker 2: And the second season starts with a really great episode
Speaker 2: with Ed O'Neill, who played my father a Modern Family
Speaker 2: for eleven years. We have another Modern Family cast member
Speaker 2: coming up, and I can't say who it is, but
Speaker 2: it's exciting. We have we have conversations with Danielle Brooks,
Speaker 2: who's fresh off of an Oscar nomination for the color Purple.
Speaker 2: We have her, so happy for her, couldn't I love
Speaker 2: her so much? And she's she's I'm so happy we
Speaker 2: got her on. Dax Shepherd, who is the host of
Speaker 2: Armchair Expert, coming on, so it's really fun to have
Speaker 2: him on as a guest rather than a host. Yeah. Really,
Speaker 2: I kind of get to hear about the trajectory of
Speaker 2: Armchair Expert. I was especially nervous for that episode because
Speaker 2: he's such a great you know hosts himself. I was like,
Speaker 2: oh gosh, this is going to be nerve wracking, but
Speaker 2: it was lovely. So we have really great people coming
Speaker 2: up to.
Speaker 1: See it's so cool. Okay, I have a technical question
Speaker 1: because I just think about this from the production side.
Speaker 2: I already know what you're going to ask.
Speaker 1: You're going to restaurants, Yeah, like are they opening an
Speaker 1: hour early for you? Because I feel like there's no
Speaker 1: way you could do this in public and not be
Speaker 1: like stopped by fans and have something clattered to the
Speaker 1: floor and ruin the sound, like how are you achieving this?
Speaker 2: All those things actually happen. I kind of love it
Speaker 2: because I really want people. I want the listeners to
Speaker 2: feel like a fly on the wall. So yeah, we
Speaker 2: keep all the ambient sounds. There are times when we
Speaker 2: go to restaurants and they haven't been opened, they're not
Speaker 2: opened yet, and we get the entire place for ourselves,
Speaker 2: and those are actually I don't I don't like those
Speaker 2: as much because I really like that ambient sound. It
Speaker 2: is this feeling of like you you over overhearing a conversation,
Speaker 2: but you hear the waiter come through the table and
Speaker 2: tell us the specials. You hear us order, to the
Speaker 2: chagrin of many people, you might hear us eating a
Speaker 2: little bit, which is also some people have a really
Speaker 2: big problem with that. I promise it's not a ton
Speaker 2: of mouse sounds. Were pretty good about editing around it.
Speaker 2: But I love, like, you know, when you hear the
Speaker 2: glass crash in the background. I have a running gag
Speaker 2: on my my podcast where anytime I hear one of those,
Speaker 2: go oh, my earring, like I just fell off. So
Speaker 2: I actually look forward to sounds like that. I love
Speaker 2: to add a little comedy. But it's you know, every
Speaker 2: restaurant is completely different. Sometimes we're there and I like,
Speaker 2: I went with the Isaacs Rahi to Pastises on a
Speaker 2: Sunday brunch day and that was, you know, totally packed
Speaker 2: and crowded, and we were just at a little table ourselves,
Speaker 2: and you can hear that we're in a crowded restaurant,
Speaker 2: and yeah, I kind of just I love that we
Speaker 2: can do that and achieve that, And I think our
Speaker 2: listeners really respond to that sort of fly on the
Speaker 2: wall verite, you know, conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I also feel like that's so indicative of your
Speaker 1: love of living in New York, because when you talk
Speaker 1: about it, I'm like, yeah, like we're New York people.
Speaker 1: The hustle bustle, and the car horns honking and the sounds.
Speaker 1: It's like it's part of what makes you feel like home.
Speaker 1: So I love that that's really happening and it's not
Speaker 1: a sound design thing.
Speaker 2: I took Nissi Nash out for for for dinner for
Speaker 2: the podcast, and we were at Beat outside and it
Speaker 2: was during trash Day, so that really they were. They
Speaker 2: were emptying, like you know, massive dumpsters of trash. You
Speaker 2: could hear the trash trucks coming. I was like, this
Speaker 2: is just what it is. We weren't we weren't sitting
Speaker 2: amongst trash, but there were definitely the sounds of trash trucks.
Speaker 2: Like here we are during the podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, have you seen Nisi in Origin?
Speaker 2: Oh so good.
Speaker 1: I'm still not over it. It's been weeks. I keep going
Speaker 1: back to it. She is just I'm obsessed with Nisy
Speaker 1: She's everything.
Speaker 2: She really is.
Speaker 1: Did did the idea from the podcast? And I mean,
Speaker 1: because you know, I'm also a foodie, so I just
Speaker 1: really need to know did it really just come from
Speaker 1: you thinking like, how can I do a job where
Speaker 1: I get to eat at all my favorite restaurants?
Speaker 2: That was definitely part of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like when you launched it, I had three different
Speaker 1: friends text me and go the fact that you didn't
Speaker 1: do this is so weird. And I was like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm flabbergasted. I have no idea how I missed.
Speaker 2: The mark right right. Yeah, what you were saying is,
Speaker 2: you know, it's definitely complicated too to record live in
Speaker 2: a restaurant. But it's so funny because when you you
Speaker 2: were speaking earlier about my One man show, fully committed
Speaker 2: and my producers, uh, they said, well, we're going to
Speaker 2: do some research. We're going to go out to a
Speaker 2: few of these like Michelin Star restaurants. We can like
Speaker 2: kind of see the infrastructure, and we got to go
Speaker 2: back afterwards and like see the reservation room, but like
Speaker 2: we ate at these restaurants. And it was the best
Speaker 2: research I've ever done. I think they took me to
Speaker 2: like four or five different Michelin Star restaurants. And then
Speaker 2: the producers like, Okay, that's enough, We've done, like you know,
Speaker 2: because it's expensive. Yeah, And I was like, this is great.
Speaker 2: I was like, we could fit in a few more
Speaker 2: of these before you know, the show goes up. But
Speaker 2: I was like, I think I need to do a
Speaker 2: little bit more, a bit more research.
Speaker 1: But it's the same to do a little more homework.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but yeah, it's so fun to go out.
Speaker 1: And now a word from our sponsors. Is there anywhere
Speaker 1: new you've discovered that you hadn't been and now you
Speaker 1: want to go all the time?
Speaker 2: Uh? Oh oh Yeah. There's a place in Brooklyn called Kafar,
Speaker 2: which is a Mediterranean like they have barrecas and it's
Speaker 2: it's really really delicious. It's in I guess I would
Speaker 2: be green Point, Brooklyn. I really really really love it.
Speaker 2: And I actually last time I was in New York
Speaker 2: made a special trip out there to get some breakfast.
Speaker 2: So that's one of my new favorite places. And then
Speaker 2: here in La I just recently took a Danielle to Superba,
Speaker 2: which I love. I've ever been to before. So yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's.
Speaker 1: Nice that we finally got one on our side of town. Yes,
Speaker 1: I know, Oh, I just love it. What a fun project.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's been really great, and but do you
Speaker 2: I mean, I still have a tabit of anxiety before
Speaker 2: every single one of my interviews because I guess there's
Speaker 2: a bit of imposter syndrome just because it's not a
Speaker 2: world that I have ever, you know, anticipated being in.
Speaker 2: It was a job that was sort of brought to me,
Speaker 2: and people are trusting me to do a good job
Speaker 2: with this. Yeah, I definitely get like anxious before every
Speaker 2: single you know podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh, I totally do too, still and I'm years in.
Speaker 1: I get anxious before every podcast, every speaking engagement, like,
Speaker 1: you know, because I look around and I just go like, well,
Speaker 1: but what am I doing here?
Speaker 2: Right? Right?
Speaker 1: Like me, I'm going to be the one who asks
Speaker 1: the questions, right, you know. And I get especially nervous,
Speaker 1: I think because I have such a reverence for comedy,
Speaker 1: and my favorite, like my favorite things that I've done
Speaker 1: work wise have been the sort of more comedic things.
Speaker 1: I just I so enjoy the energy on a set
Speaker 1: when it's funny rather than you know, sobbing or everyone's dying.
Speaker 1: And I always get a little nervous when I'm going
Speaker 1: to interview a comedian that I love because I'm like,
Speaker 1: are they going to think I'm funny? Am I going
Speaker 1: to be funny today? Or am I going to be weird?
Speaker 1: What if I'm weird? What if I get nervous and
Speaker 1: then I'm tight and I don't make any jokes like
Speaker 1: I spin in that way too?
Speaker 2: Get it? I get it for sure.
Speaker 1: But you know, look at us rolling along.
Speaker 2: We're rolling along. I definitely feel like if I'm scared
Speaker 2: of something, it's a good thing that I'm doing it.
Speaker 2: I do. I find the stuff that I'm not super
Speaker 2: intimidated by is stuff that doesn't actually ultimately being doesn't
Speaker 2: ultimately end up being very gratifying. Yeah, so you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: I guess the fear, that feeling of needing to poop
Speaker 2: and make diarrhea and throw up is a good thing.
Speaker 2: It's good. It's good that you're feeling that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's phenomenal that you need to take up pepto.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Well with all of this, you know, this this big,
Speaker 1: beautiful sphere of the things that you've built in work
Speaker 1: and in home and with your family. When you look
Speaker 1: towards this year, what what feels like you're work in
Speaker 1: progress right now?
Speaker 2: I mean I kind of feel like I myself am
Speaker 2: the work in progress for me. I mean, I you know,
Speaker 2: for eleven years, I had this like really steady thing happening,
Speaker 2: and then there was a pandemic, and then I had kids,
Speaker 2: and I feel like there was not a lot of
Speaker 2: like transitional time for me, but in that that that
Speaker 2: from one thing to the other, and so I feel
Speaker 2: like I've lost a little bit of like what I
Speaker 2: need right now. And Justin and I are both really
Speaker 2: good about going to therapy for ourselves. We do talk therapy.
Speaker 2: We don't need together, but you know, are very open
Speaker 2: to that. And I'm just really trying to, like I
Speaker 2: cut back on drinking a lot I did. I'm trying
Speaker 2: to eat healthier, I've lost a little bit of weight,
Speaker 2: trying not to stress out so much about work. I
Speaker 2: mean all these you know, we also have had a
Speaker 2: really bumpy a few years between the pandemic and then
Speaker 2: writer strikes and then actors strikes, and I just realized,
Speaker 2: like I have so little control over some of these things.
Speaker 2: I could certainly fight for better contracts, but like, at
Speaker 2: the end of the day, like I have to let
Speaker 2: people do the jobs that are going to do the jobs.
Speaker 2: I can't worry about it. So I have really tried
Speaker 2: hard to sort of rewire my thinking, and you know,
Speaker 2: find ways to reduce my anxiety, and that's been my
Speaker 2: big and I'm really proud of the work that I've
Speaker 2: done on myself, and that's been one of the main
Speaker 2: things for me, is just trying to flow through life
Speaker 2: with a little less anxiety and nerve. I love that.
Speaker 1: I think that's so important, and it's a thing you're
Speaker 1: really just like making all the bells ding for me,
Speaker 1: because it has been such a destabilizing time, you know,
Speaker 1: for so many people. And I think one of the
Speaker 1: things that I'm really working on remembering, particularly over the
Speaker 1: course of the last year, is I believe at my
Speaker 1: core and I try to remind myself every day that
Speaker 1: things are not happening to me, they're happening for me.
Speaker 1: And when I look at my life in that way,
Speaker 1: I see what I get from every experience, and you know,
Speaker 1: to your point, like maybe there's a job that doesn't
Speaker 1: go because it felt a little easy and I want
Speaker 1: to be more challenged, or you know, maybe there's a
Speaker 1: big aha moment in life that I really didn't see coming,
Speaker 1: but it it changes everything for the better. And yeah,
Speaker 1: it feels like a little bit of a rewiring, but
Speaker 1: it's definitely helping with you know, my anxiety and certainly
Speaker 1: with the pressure I put on myself.
Speaker 2: Right right, And it's hard to like say, you know, don't.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've been told so many times to just
Speaker 2: like relax and not stress out and like, you know.
Speaker 1: Which only makes you struggle.
Speaker 2: Out more exactly exactly. But there are times when I
Speaker 2: tell myself that too. I'm like, just relax, it's okay,
Speaker 2: you gotta breathe. And I just am learning to listen
Speaker 2: to myself a little bit more.
Speaker 1: It feels like a good work in progress.
Speaker 2: My friend, yeah, pilates too.
Speaker 1: Ooh, a little fitness moment for twenty twenty more.
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, we love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, well, thank you so much. I just love
Speaker 1: talking to you. It's like in the way that you
Speaker 1: were talking about you and tybing, like I can't believe
Speaker 1: this is our job. I feel that every week. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I literally can't believe I turned asking people I adore
Speaker 1: questions into a job. I love this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know, we're very lucky. I'm so
Speaker 2: glad you asked me to do this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Oh