1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 2: Today is going to be a good episode because we 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 2: are going to learn about men. For men out there, 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 2: we're listening, we're learning about you. This is for men too, 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 2: I think, because men, you're going to hear that. I 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,920 Speaker 2: guess what you're doing is good and it's okay because 7 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,600 Speaker 2: we have an expert. We've got Tom Sturgis here with us, 8 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 2: and he just is releasing his new book, Men Explained. Finally, Tom, 9 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 2: thanks for joining me. 10 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 3: Thank you so so much for having me. I appreciate 11 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 3: the opportunity to discuss this one of my favorite topics. 12 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 2: I mean, you go into great detail, and it's all 13 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 2: awesome because you are explaining men in such a simple way. 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 2: But I think in a way that we as women 15 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 2: really need to hear because we expect so much different 16 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:54,279 Speaker 2: behavior from you than you are giving us. 17 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: And now we know we can read this and understand. 18 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 3: I've tried to decode that like a Rosetta stone so 19 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 3: that you can go, oh, wait a second, he's a 20 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 3: fourteen year old boy and understand that that is our 21 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 3: basic operating system. To my view of this is that 22 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,680 Speaker 3: it's we're fourteen year olds and we hop into the 23 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 3: seat and we're pulling levers and making our eyes blank 24 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 3: and telling jokes. But it's a fourteen year old is 25 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 3: running everything. 26 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 2: My mom used to constantly say that men suffered from 27 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 2: peter Pan syndrome, so that that makes a lot of sense. Actually, 28 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,960 Speaker 2: as I'm reading through this, it makes a lot of 29 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 2: sense to me. But I mentioned to you that I 30 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 2: have four girls. I have two twelve year olds, one 31 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 2: fourteen year old, one sixteen year old, So as I'm 32 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 2: watching them around, these boys, and I just yesterday when 33 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 2: I went to pick up my twelve year olds, I 34 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 2: said to my mom, it's so amazing to me how 35 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 2: much different they are from twelve to fourteen. Because when 36 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 2: I picked up my eighth grader last year, just at 37 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 2: the end of the year, you see these boys really 38 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 2: taking on traits of men. And then I read this 39 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: and I'm like, Okay, well, maybe that's like that's who 40 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 2: they become. 41 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 3: They are the boy, the ninth and tenth grader, that's 42 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 3: them for the whole rest of the rest of the ride. 43 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 3: It's like the cookies came out of the oven and 44 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 3: they're being served that way every day. So yes, to me, 45 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 3: that's the case, And By the way, thank you for 46 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 3: four girls. How fantastic. 47 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,559 Speaker 1: Well, thank you. I think they're fantastic. 48 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 2: So this was really an interesting read for me because 49 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, come on, give it to me. I 50 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 2: don't get it. I want to know for myself, I 51 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 2: want to know for my daughters. But really a lot 52 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 2: of what I enjoyed the vulnerability that you had in 53 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:50,679 Speaker 2: this book and the ability to say that men need this. 54 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 2: I guess praise was kind of an overall theme that 55 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:58,079 Speaker 2: I mean, that's what. 56 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: I got from it as a mom. 57 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 2: As a wife, I looked at this and I went, 58 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 2: you know, I guess I should be pointing out when 59 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 2: even you commented on even mowing. 60 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: The lawn, like, oh, the yard looks incredible, like a 61 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:12,959 Speaker 1: golf course. 62 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 3: Oh boy, I'm telling you, you say those words that 63 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,679 Speaker 3: guy will basically do whatever you need the rest of 64 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 3: the day. And it's true. Women, I as and this 65 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 3: is just my perception. Of course, my kids call it 66 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 3: Tom science. I have three boys, by the way, but 67 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 3: women like women like to be complimented. Your hair looks great, 68 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 3: you you did a wonderful job on the radio today. 69 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 3: But men, we want to be we want agulation. We 70 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 3: really do so, yes, compare the front lawn to a 71 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 3: golf course. Fantastic. 72 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 2: Well, from my perspective, I liked the part where you said, Okay, well, 73 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 2: women are comparing wrinkles, men are comparing money, and I 74 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 2: mean that's true, and I do think that we are 75 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 2: in a strange world right now. I was just reading 76 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 2: something today, an article that came out that said young 77 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 2: men are and right about that age of fourteen, are 78 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 2: being pushed by social media into like concerns about looks 79 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 2: and concerns about figure and muscles and all these things 80 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 2: that I don't know that they were when I was young. 81 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 2: I think it really was career and success, and so 82 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 2: the money versus wrinkles thing made sense to me, right 83 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 2: It's it is. 84 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 3: A different world because we have the Internet, and that 85 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 3: internet world is about to get crazy because of AI. 86 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 3: And so as I know, if you were around and 87 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,600 Speaker 3: paying attention in the early eighties when people started, when 88 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 3: the internet was this thing and you know, AOL dot 89 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 3: com and you actually dialed up and the revolutionary change 90 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 3: that that gave the world. AI is going to take 91 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 3: that and put it on steroids. So boys are going 92 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 3: to be confronted with you know, big strong men and 93 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 3: getting waxed and all that other nonsense. But still if 94 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 3: they're basic their kids, you know, and from my standpoint, 95 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 3: we are. We are such simple beings, right, and I 96 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 3: think the women in our lives add look for the complication, 97 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 3: like it can't be this simple. It can't It's not possible. 98 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 3: And I'm telling you we are. It's uh n. I 99 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 3: say in the book that we're a three piece jigsaw 100 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 3: puzzle and you go, oh those three Oh look there 101 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 3: that does fit together. Yeah, there it is. That's who 102 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,039 Speaker 3: he is. And I think that that's that's who we are. 103 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 2: But you can kind of even see it in the 104 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 2: way art is formed for men and women. Men like 105 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 2: movies that are about war, about things that are very 106 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 2: cut and dry. There's not a lot of deeper meaning. 107 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 2: It's it's one side wins, the other side loses. That's 108 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 2: that is how men think. You look at movies that 109 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 2: are geared toward women and it's like all this emotion 110 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 2: and what and there's a lot of discussion. 111 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: We were actually over the I guess it was last week. 112 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:05,919 Speaker 2: There was There's a university in Michigan called Cornerstone University, 113 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 2: and they have these things called wisdom conversations, and they 114 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 2: had a conversation about family and one of the people 115 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 2: on the panel was a lifelong feminist, and so she 116 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,679 Speaker 2: was probably right at the height. 117 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: Of the feminist movement. 118 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 2: Came out as a professor and kind of a philosopher 119 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 2: in feminism, and she made the point that we have 120 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:34,159 Speaker 2: gotten to this place where we've told men who you 121 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 2: have to be feminized, you have to be feminized. But 122 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 2: that's not a natural feeling for men to be feminized. 123 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 2: And she said, they did a study of years ago 124 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 2: where they had men and women in therapy and they 125 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 2: talked to women and they said, you know, tell us 126 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 2: about your feelings and how did it feel to talk 127 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 2: about your feelings and all this, and women went into 128 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 2: this great detail and they said to men, do you 129 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 2: want to talk about your feelings? 130 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: And they were like, why would I do that? 131 00:06:55,560 --> 00:07:00,839 Speaker 3: Exactly exactly the way I look at it. We have 132 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 3: three feelings, happy, said, and angry, and everything can fit 133 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,560 Speaker 3: into one of those categories. Our team wins the Super Bowl, Hey, 134 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 3: we're happy, and we'll run out and chest bump the 135 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:16,320 Speaker 3: neighborho we haven't spoken to in three years. We approach it, 136 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 3: we approach it in such a different way as women, 137 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 3: and I would object to that feminist. I'm sure she 138 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 3: has all her ideas all worked out, but I think 139 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 3: we change very badly. I think this is one of 140 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,720 Speaker 3: the things we do worst is if somebody comes and says, 141 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 3: you know what I need you to do differently, panic 142 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 3: sets in because we're barely who we are. You have 143 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 3: to understand we're this is constructed with with duct tape 144 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 3: and paper clips and spit and glue, this image that 145 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 3: we present to the world and to somebody to come 146 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 3: and go, you know, I need you to do this differently, 147 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 3: it's you know, panic sets in. 148 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 2: So you also made the point that men want to 149 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 2: do things. They want to be needed. It seemed like 150 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 2: there was a way to have that conversation if it 151 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 2: is saying you know, I need you in this way, 152 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 2: there's this desire to be needed and come in and 153 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 2: kind of saved the day, kind of that caveman feeling 154 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 2: of I've got to provide, I've got to provide these 155 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 2: certain things. 156 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 3: And in my understanding of it, and I think this 157 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 3: is universal, and every guy who listens to this, right 158 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 3: after I say what I'm about to say, will go 159 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 3: uh huh, yep, that's true, and that that is this 160 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 3: truth that if you ask us nicely, we will do 161 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 3: almost anything. 162 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: That's interesting. I guess it. 163 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 2: So does it when we ask, does it feel like 164 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 2: we're nagging? I mean, honestly, I think it's. 165 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 3: An order, or it's a command, or you haven't met 166 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 3: my expectations where that doesn't work. But if you you want, 167 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 3: let's say you want somebody to take the kids to 168 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 3: the park and run around. Sweetheart, could I ask you something? Please? 169 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 3: And just ask us nicely, and we're like absolutely, because 170 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,319 Speaker 3: we do want to be needed, but we don't want 171 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 3: to be told what to do. 172 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 2: I love the way you explain compartmentalizing things too, because 173 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 2: I this is it's interesting. I didn't really realize this 174 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 2: about men until I was in my twenties. I think 175 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 2: my sister got a she got an internship at my 176 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 2: dad's office. 177 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: So my mom was like she was the. 178 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 2: She was the punisher, She was like the she was 179 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 2: the scary person at the house, and my dad was 180 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 2: the happy, go lucky like he was fun. 181 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: He would play with us seen year old. 182 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly exactly. So the dad at home was like 183 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: this amazingly sweet and my mom. 184 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: He just let my. 185 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 2: Mom rule the house right, and anything my mom said went, 186 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 2: and no matter whether he agreed with the situation or not, 187 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 2: it was always your mom's always right. And it was 188 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 2: the most frustrating thing as a kid. And then my 189 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 2: sister went to she got an internship at his office, 190 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 2: and she went in there and one of the ladies 191 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 2: was like, we feel so bad for your mom. And 192 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 2: she was like why, and oh, your daddy's like so serious, 193 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 2: and she was like. 194 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 1: Oh, well, I did not feel bad for my mom. 195 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 2: She's rough, you know, like we had seen a totally 196 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,719 Speaker 2: different side, but the compartmentalization, like he was a different person. 197 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 3: At work, completely different and different with every relationship at work. 198 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 3: So yeah, I promise you he could have a day 199 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 3: long argument with one of his vice presidents about something 200 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 3: and then go out later that night and play poker 201 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 3: and have a great time and have a wonderful evening. 202 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 3: Because it's two separate boxes. There's the box of me 203 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 3: the boss. There's the box of me the dad. There's 204 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 3: the box of me the fan of the football team. 205 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 3: And I think that's key to our survival as men, 206 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 3: because if all our stuff started to mix together, which 207 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 3: I think I don't know, of course, but I think 208 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 3: women are much more one huge box with everything like 209 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 3: bumping into each other and rolling around. And that's not 210 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 3: the case for us. We are we are these little boxes. 211 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 3: And for every man there is there are things that 212 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 3: he has done. I know for me, for example, I 213 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 3: remember asking a woman when her baby was due. It 214 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 3: turns out she wasn't pregnant, and it's one of those 215 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:37,679 Speaker 3: it's this like the cringiest it's I mean, I'm cringing 216 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,080 Speaker 3: now remembering that and the look on her face and 217 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 3: what an idiot. I felt, like, that's in its own 218 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 3: little box. Stupid things I've said. That's in its own box. 219 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 3: And I pushed that all the way over here. But 220 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 3: my good deeds and the great things I've done, that 221 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:52,680 Speaker 3: box is right here, and I'm ready to pull things 222 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 3: out and show people at a moment's notice. 223 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: But see, that's that is the difference. 224 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 2: Because for a woman that you you kind of kind 225 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 2: of relive that scenario and you think about how you 226 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,840 Speaker 2: could have changed it, or conversations you come home from work, 227 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 2: and those things stay with you. And that was another 228 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 2: thing that this woman that the feminists said she was like, 229 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 2: you know, if a man is asked, well, when you 230 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,079 Speaker 2: relived the conversation, they just kind of look at you like, 231 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 2: why would I have done that? 232 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 3: Exactly, it's in the box. I'm already done with that. 233 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 3: I'm ready to I'm ready to go go see some basketball. 234 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,560 Speaker 3: What do you need? You know? But that's that's the 235 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 3: idea of the simplicity. To me, if women were airplanes, 236 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 3: you guys would be F fourteen's with a couple of 237 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 3: sidewinders and your own refueling plane above you. We are 238 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 3: a couple of you know, a piece of paper folded 239 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 3: over with a paper clip at the front. Are we 240 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 3: are that vastly different in our approaches and the way 241 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 3: we travel through the world. 242 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 4: Hey, stick around, We've got more with Tom Sturgis. But 243 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 4: first I want to tell you all about rough Greens. 244 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 4: It's an amazing product. If you have a dog, you 245 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 4: need this product, trust me, especially if you have a 246 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 4: dog that has issues. 247 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: Like my dog. 248 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 4: My dog is so sweet, but he itches all over, 249 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 4: he has ear infections. He's licking. It drives me mad. 250 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 4: And I met the owner of rough Greens. He said, 251 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 4: do you have a dog? 252 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: I was literally embarrassed to tell him about my little dog, Whiskey. 253 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 4: It was like, I have a dog. He's a mess. 254 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 4: He's itchy, he has ear infections, his skin, he rubs 255 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,079 Speaker 4: his fur off of his face. And this guy was like, no, 256 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 4: I got you. Give me ninety days, I will fix 257 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 4: your dog. I thought it was impossible. We took the 258 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 4: rough Greens. We shake it on his food. It is incredible. 259 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 4: I don't just recommend rough Greens. I literally depend on 260 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 4: it to keep my little Whiskey happy and healthy. You 261 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 4: all should use it for your dogs too. It's a 262 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:45,680 Speaker 4: natural antioxidant, there's anti inflammatory compounds, it reduces stress. You 263 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 4: don't even even have to change your dog's food. You 264 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,199 Speaker 4: just add the rough Greens. Rough Greens right now is 265 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,760 Speaker 4: offering a free Jumpstart trial bag. You just cover the 266 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 4: shipping costs. Use the discount code Whiskey. My little dog 267 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 4: will help you claim your free Jumpstart Trial bag at. 268 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 1: Rough Greens dot com. 269 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 4: That's r Uffgreens dot com and that promo code is Whiskey. 270 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 4: Don't change your dog's food, just add this. It's going 271 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 4: to be amazing. Give it ninety days and watch the 272 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,320 Speaker 4: health benefits come alive. Now stick around. We've got more 273 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 4: right after this. So how do you find one of 274 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 4: us that you suddenly connect to? 275 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's the worldwide question of all time, 276 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 2: is that men and women eventually come together and we're 277 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 2: meant to be together. But how do we find that 278 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 2: person that make sure that those characteristics fit the other characteristics? 279 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 2: And you say that men have three basic needs and 280 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 2: they're fun, appreciation, and reward. And I read that and 281 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 2: I say, as a woman, I think that that's what you. 282 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 1: Are looking for as well. 283 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 2: You're trying to find that person that when you connect 284 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 2: with them, the things you do together are fun and 285 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 2: you look up to them. 286 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, But you asked such a great point. How 287 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 3: do how does it ever fit together? Where you find 288 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 3: that person? And if I can keep my fourteen year 289 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 3: old mind to be able to answer this in two parts, 290 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 3: I will first of all, to me every man's great mystery, 291 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 3: the greatest mystery of his life, is this, how could 292 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 3: a woman fall in love with me? Does she not 293 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 3: see that I am a child? Does she not see 294 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 3: that I am immature? Does she not see that I 295 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 3: only have three emotions? How is it possible? And because 296 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 3: we have no idea, that's where the games begin, we 297 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 3: pretend that we're completely in charge of everything. When was 298 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 3: the last time you saw a guy who wasn't in 299 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 3: charge of everything around him? Even though he's not in 300 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 3: charge of anything that's around him, it's part of the 301 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 3: game that we play, right, is that that's how that's 302 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 3: how we have to proceed. So the mystery being you 303 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 3: fell in love with me? I mean, why how? But 304 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 3: so set that aside and then the great question, and 305 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 3: I think I answered this in my writing, is how 306 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 3: do we fall in love? How do we fall in love? 307 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 3: And the answer is that we fall in love with 308 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 3: the face first, and everything else proceeds after that. You 309 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 3: might think it's your hair, or it's that nice dress, 310 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 3: or it's the face. And we've been telling women this 311 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 3: for years and years and years. There's Marlowe talking about 312 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 3: the face that launched a thousand ships, and there's Shakespeare 313 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 3: wishing he was a hand on, he was a glove 314 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,800 Speaker 3: on the hand that Juliet is resting her cheek on, 315 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 3: and songs like you're beautiful and Billy Joel just the 316 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 3: way you are, And we've been saying it over and 317 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,200 Speaker 3: over and it really is the case that we fall 318 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 3: in love with the face first, and if we find 319 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 3: that face, we fall in love with it again every day, 320 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 3: over and over and over. 321 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 2: Well, then what do you think about the fact that 322 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 2: we so easily change our faces today? 323 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 3: Okay, so one of my thoughts, and it's so to me. 324 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,399 Speaker 3: It's it's a truth, which is with a lot of 325 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 3: women marry a man they see as a project they try. 326 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 3: They marry a man they hope to change, and a 327 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,919 Speaker 3: man hopes the woman he marries never changes. If you 328 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 3: wore that, if you wore your hair the same way 329 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 3: every where, every day, the same glasses, the same everything, 330 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,880 Speaker 3: I promise you, the husband would He's never gonna say, 331 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 3: you know, I'm kind of bored with the uh with 332 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 3: that shirt and those earrings. He would be like, God, 333 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 3: I love that shirt in those earrings, Please wear that 334 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 3: every day. 335 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 2: It's just so. 336 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,360 Speaker 3: For instance, I was telling I was telling your producer 337 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 3: when I met my wife. My wife we met in 338 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 3: the rainstorm and her car had run out of gas 339 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 3: and I stopped to help a strand of motorists and 340 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,919 Speaker 3: we have been together since that day. We consider that 341 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,879 Speaker 3: our wedding day. And part of the reason is because 342 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 3: I fell in love with her right. I fell in 343 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,120 Speaker 3: love with her face, and I have begged her, please, 344 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 3: no false eyelashes, don't puff anything. Just be you every 345 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 3: day and I will be perfectly content, and I will 346 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 3: fall in love with you again and again every morning. 347 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 2: This is a conversation that we have quite a bit 348 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,159 Speaker 2: at our house with my mom and my sister and 349 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 2: I have this conversation. 350 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: Mom and my sister live. 351 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 2: In Florida, and where they live, it just so happens 352 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 2: that this is a very popular thing to do, to 353 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 2: have the injections and you know, the big lips and 354 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:46,359 Speaker 2: all of that, and my Mom's like, you know, none 355 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 2: of us have done that, but you know, there's a curiosity. 356 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 1: I think you're right. As women, there is a curiosity 357 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,479 Speaker 1: around it. Certain there is. 358 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,439 Speaker 2: You see the lines around your lips, you see the 359 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 2: lines around your eyes. 360 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: You start to get like, oh, he's not going to 361 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 1: think the same. 362 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 2: I think from our perspective, we know you fell in 363 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,879 Speaker 2: love with the way we look, and we see ourselves 364 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 2: changing and we go, we've got to get back to that. 365 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 2: But we have this conversation all the time saying, I mean, 366 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 2: but you're not really going back to that. 367 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:15,879 Speaker 3: Look. 368 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: It's like a different look. 369 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 3: No, that's a different there's a friend of mine he 370 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 3: calls that the sisterhood and not and it's the strange mouth. 371 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 3: That's not. It's listen. If whatever women want to do 372 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 3: to be happy, who am I to say they shouldn't 373 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 3: do it. But I'm just saying, if you want to 374 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 3: play the game with the man in your life and 375 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 3: keep him interested and intent and part of your life, 376 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 3: don't change anything. Be exactly that person every day. 377 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: Hey, but we. 378 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 2: Get old and then we're afraid that you don't like 379 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 2: us anymore. 380 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 3: Well, we're getting old too. I don't know if you notice. 381 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,880 Speaker 3: I mean, I have a hair over here that it's 382 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 3: like a whisker. And I don't even turn the light 383 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 3: on when I go in the bathroom anymore because I 384 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,240 Speaker 3: know what I'm going to say. I'm like, oh my god, 385 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,439 Speaker 3: it's like somebody wearing a Tom Sturgis mask that doesn't 386 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 3: fit very well. I mean, what happened? And you know, 387 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 3: I've seen pictures of myself when I was a kid. 388 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,360 Speaker 3: I was like, all right, I was a resentably good 389 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 3: looking guy. And then I'm like, do not show me 390 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 3: what I look like, because come on, this is we 391 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 3: are aging as well, and as if we can age 392 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 3: together sort of on the same path. I think that's 393 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 3: where that's where happiness is. Just don't change, be beautiful 394 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 3: you every day of your life, and I think the 395 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 3: man in your life will will go right along with 396 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:37,400 Speaker 3: the program. 397 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 2: I think that this is something men are afraid to say, because, 398 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 2: like you said, you started this out by saying, you know, 399 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 2: whatever you want to do, you can do that. But 400 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 2: I think that meant too many men are afraid to say, 401 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 2: we'd rather you not do this, because I don't think 402 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 2: that this society accepts men saying women shouldn't do something. 403 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 2: But women have no idea what men think about it. 404 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 2: I mean, it's as honest a conversation I've had with 405 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 2: so many, so many women, like what do you think 406 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 2: men think about when when women do this? 407 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:07,920 Speaker 1: Do they like it? 408 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 2: Do they what does it feel like to kiss someone's 409 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 2: lips that have are the lips the same? 410 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: I don't know. 411 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 2: I mean I really have, I really have like a 412 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,240 Speaker 2: lot of questions about this, and men don't want to 413 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 2: talk about They're like, I'm not going to touch that. 414 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're not going to. And so the essay that 415 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 3: you mentioned men count each other's money, and women count 416 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 3: each other's wrinkles. I think women are doing a lot 417 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 3: of that stuff for the other women. 418 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, we feel, yeah, we want to look I don't 419 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,639 Speaker 2: know why do we want to look all the same? 420 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 3: And why who cares about impressing the other girls in 421 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 3: the elevator? And the way society has evolved, I mean, 422 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 3: we can't even compliment you now, right. I mean if 423 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 3: I were to say, right now, by the way, you 424 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 3: happen to be very you're you're doing great, whatever you're doing, 425 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 3: I can barely say that without worrying about you know, 426 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 3: have I insulted our because we don't get to say 427 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 3: that anymore. We count each other's money, right, we do. Oh, 428 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 3: look at that guy's got that new car, and look 429 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 3: at that rolex wow. Oh, and he's got new golf clubs. 430 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 3: Those are the things that we compare each other, right, 431 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 3: how much better is that guy doing than me? But 432 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,600 Speaker 3: women they're like ooh, and I use an example, Megan Kelly. 433 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 3: Do you remember Megan Kelly attacking Jane Fonda, like right 434 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 3: on television, Like, yeah, it's Jane Fonda, one of those 435 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 3: beautiful women from her earliest days to the end of 436 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 3: her days and I don't care what she did. Her 437 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,160 Speaker 3: doctor's better than everybody else if she does, if she's 438 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:40,359 Speaker 3: done stuff. And I saw her. I went to a 439 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 3: friend of mine's house, Phil Rosenthal's house. Her dad and 440 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 3: my dad made a movie together and we both sat 441 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 3: there as the guests of honor. And she's gorgeous, she's 442 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:54,400 Speaker 3: eighty three or whatever, it doesn't matter. Beautiful, just stunning. 443 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 3: But there was Megan Kelly, like in front of millions 444 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:03,399 Speaker 3: of people, going, tell us about your plastic surgery. And 445 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 3: I was like, right, we are going inside book. This 446 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 3: is going in the book. 447 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,359 Speaker 1: Women are also incredibly cruel. 448 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 2: We were at an event, a college event a few 449 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,879 Speaker 2: weeks ago, and women came out and they were like, 450 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 2: you know, I'm really interested in getting married and having kids. 451 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,639 Speaker 2: It's kind of a hard thing to talk about on 452 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 2: a college campus these days. And I thought, how bizarre 453 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,399 Speaker 2: that we've made this uncomfortable. But it goes along with 454 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 2: what you're saying about men not knowing how to talk 455 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,200 Speaker 2: to women. I think that there's there is the next 456 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:41,199 Speaker 2: generation is very concerned about the women are afraid to 457 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 2: say I actually want to get married and have kids. 458 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 2: The men are afraid to say you have a beautiful smile. 459 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,920 Speaker 2: Where does that lead us? 460 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:54,439 Speaker 3: Yes, there's there's a chasm, and somehow getting over that chasm. 461 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 3: I mean, I think that's why men invented alcohol. Frankly, 462 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 3: that's that's it's the bridge. Because a man give a 463 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 3: man a drink, it gives him a little I think 464 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,400 Speaker 3: what do they call it a shot of courage? Right? 465 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 3: Yeah's described it just another shot of courage because we 466 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 3: need that. But when we are our most fourteen is 467 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 3: we see that face, the beautiful face, and we are 468 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 3: paralyzed and we don't know. Our tongue gets tied, our 469 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 3: mouth gets dry, suddenly we're hitching up our pants. We 470 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 3: don't Oh, we're so lost. And if you can, if 471 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,120 Speaker 3: you women can make it just a little easier for us, 472 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 3: you know, just smile or wave, just the tiniest indication 473 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 3: that it's okay to approach, you. 474 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,880 Speaker 2: Know, it's ok to I think it's also as parents 475 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 2: we should talk and say that this is okay. My 476 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,400 Speaker 2: daughter came home from school the other day and there's 477 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 2: a boy that she's she thinks is really cute, and 478 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,159 Speaker 2: he said to her, you have a really pretty smile, 479 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 2: and she said, he said, I have a really pretty smile. 480 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 2: And she was so happy about it, and I thought, 481 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 2: how do I make sure that she knows that that's 482 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 2: something that you should continue to be happy about, because 483 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 2: there is a point when young women get to college 484 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 2: and they're told that's off limits. They should not comment 485 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,119 Speaker 2: on your looks. 486 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,719 Speaker 3: I listen, which was that was that the twelve year 487 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 3: old or the fourteen year old? 488 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 1: That's my sixteen year old? 489 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:19,360 Speaker 3: Sixteen year old? 490 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:19,919 Speaker 1: Kill me? 491 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 3: Now, no, no, she's well, she's you know, it's it's 492 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 3: one of the things I mentioned in the book is 493 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 3: if a girl wants to meet a man, a woman 494 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,679 Speaker 3: wants to meet a man, all she has to do 495 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 3: is get her face in front of his face for 496 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 3: a couple of seconds, and that man's reaction will tell 497 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,440 Speaker 3: you everything you want to know. Is there a future? There, 498 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,959 Speaker 3: is there a possibility? Or is there nothing? And the 499 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 3: line I recommend is you if for an adult woman, 500 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 3: as you bump into the guy at the valet line 501 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 3: or at the bar, say excuse me, have you seen 502 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 3: my husband? The guy will have to look at you 503 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,680 Speaker 3: to answer that question. And I've given this there and 504 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 3: I'll give you three examples of friends of mine, women 505 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 3: who they want to meet a man, but instead of 506 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,199 Speaker 3: can you introduce me? And there's the first date and 507 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 3: then lay all the nonsense, just get your face in 508 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 3: front of his face. So woman sets in front of 509 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 3: this guy and says, if you see my husband. The 510 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 3: guy looks at her, he goes, I don't even know you, lady, 511 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:21,440 Speaker 3: So I don't know your husband. Okay, everything she needs 512 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 3: to know, she just run out. He has no sense 513 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 3: of humor, he's not quick on his feet, and he 514 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 3: doesn't find her beautiful. End the story. You've dot ten seconds. 515 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 3: Another friend of mine said that to a guy, and 516 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,439 Speaker 3: the guy took a look at her and he said, 517 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 3: he said, I don't know. I don't but who is 518 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 3: the lucky bastard? There you go, but the best answer. 519 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 3: And these two are still a couple. They haven't got 520 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 3: married yet, but I think it's going there. I tear 521 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 3: up at this story because I'm a soft hearted irishman. 522 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,919 Speaker 3: So she says to this guy, excuse me, have you 523 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,399 Speaker 3: seen my husband? And he looks at her and he says, 524 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 3: as a matter of fact, I saw him in my 525 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:09,480 Speaker 3: bathroom mirror this morning, guzzing baby. That's perfect and so 526 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,920 Speaker 3: she and he said, well, where is he? She goes, 527 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 3: I don't know. I haven't met him yet. Suddenly all 528 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 3: the possibilities are suddenly endless, right with just within just 529 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 3: twenty seconds. So I go back to this the face. 530 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 3: So that boy who said that to your daughter, that's 531 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 3: all she needs to know. That boy is love with her. 532 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,719 Speaker 2: So now, oh, now it's on the record. I'll have 533 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 2: to have her watch this. 534 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,199 Speaker 3: You are in big trouble. 535 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 2: I know. I already know this. I have four girls, 536 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 2: so I know I'm in big trouble. But honestly, I 537 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 2: was reading this book and I was thinking, okay, so 538 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 2: who is your audience? Because as much as I think 539 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 2: that I loved it, I really did love it. I 540 00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 2: was like, I can see so many different areas of 541 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,200 Speaker 2: my life in this book and experiences that I've had, 542 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 2: and even the way you explained how men remember the 543 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:06,840 Speaker 2: women in the past, and all of the different ways 544 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,719 Speaker 2: you described how men feel and perceive and all of that. 545 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: It was so important to me. 546 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,000 Speaker 2: But I thought, at the time, you know, do I 547 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 2: is this a book for young people? Because I do 548 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 2: think that that's something that we're struggling to remind people 549 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:24,480 Speaker 2: is Okay, the way, just the simple way you explain things. 550 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 3: First of all, that you just followed one of my rules, 551 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 3: which is we don't want compliments, we want praise. And 552 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 3: I want to take what you just said and have 553 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 3: a tattooed on my chest. It's exactly how I would 554 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 3: want people to react to this book. Who is my audience? 555 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,920 Speaker 3: My audience mainly I thought I wrote this for women 556 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 3: right as a way of saying, here's what men are, 557 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 3: here's what we are, and on the behalf of the men, 558 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 3: so that the women in their lives can have a 559 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 3: better relationship with them, right, with fewer expectations that will 560 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 3: never be met, and a better understanding of what gets 561 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 3: that man from point A to point B every day 562 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 3: in his life. So it's it's for anybody who wants 563 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 3: to read it, and I thank you for those wonderful words. 564 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on 565 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 1: a Tutor Dixon podcast. 566 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 2: So I'll tell you from my perspective, I also saw 567 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 2: this being for men because I looked at this and went, 568 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 2: my gosh, it makes so much sense, like little things 569 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 2: that I can improve by saying, wow, the yard looks amazing, 570 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 2: or did you clean the car, Thank you, you know, 571 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,480 Speaker 2: but I looked at that and I was like, I 572 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 2: also felt like from the perspective of my husband, it's 573 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 2: like to see that, to read that and go, oh, 574 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 2: that's what I really mean by this, because I think 575 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 2: that you did a great job of getting into the 576 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 2: depth that most men cannot get into. 577 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: Like that level of exploring self is not natural. 578 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 2: So to be able to look at that and go, oh, 579 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,640 Speaker 2: this is what I'm this is what I'm expecting. 580 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 3: Right ooh yeah, yeah. So I think as you're talking about, 581 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 3: obviously you have a great relationship with your husband, so 582 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 3: you guys are probably well, you do some many of 583 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 3: the things that I describe here, probably naturally. But I 584 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 3: think the key to a great love affair, and again, 585 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 3: who am I. I don't have a lot of initials 586 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 3: after my name. The key to a great love affair 587 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 3: is when you get upset to whisper. And so here's 588 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 3: why this is so important. Go with me. Okay, he 589 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 3: saw your face, which is quite a face, fell and 590 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 3: completely in love with you, and he's got this beautiful 591 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,680 Speaker 3: life going. And let's say you raise your voice and 592 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:52,040 Speaker 3: there's this shrill, awful sound that comes out of this 593 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 3: beautiful face that he's loved for all these years. It 594 00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 3: every every wire is crossed at that moment because suddenly 595 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 3: nothing makes sense because this is all he's heard all 596 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:06,400 Speaker 3: these years is love and sweetness and kindness. But if 597 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 3: you lean in and say, what happened to the car? 598 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 3: For instance, right as supposed to? Did you cross the 599 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:18,200 Speaker 3: car into the car? All right? And I don't know 600 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 3: if you've noticed, but when you whisper at somebody, they 601 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 3: lean in. It's just they can't help it. And so 602 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 3: I recommend this. This is in one of my books 603 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 3: about parenting, is when you I've never I've got three kids, 604 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 3: ones in his thirties, ones in his twenties, ones in 605 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,040 Speaker 3: his teens. I have never raised my voice to any 606 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:43,040 Speaker 3: of my boys. Ever. I have whispered and mandy that 607 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 3: they do not like that. And I remember I was 608 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 3: picking one of my sons up to go to a 609 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 3: baseball game, and I was in the house and was 610 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,480 Speaker 3: super early and he wasn't getting up, and it's like Sam, Sam, 611 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 3: wake up, Sam, wake up, And he pulls this door 612 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 3: open and goes, what do you whisper? Four? Right? Because 613 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 3: it was? And I'll be like, no, I'm really whispering. Now, 614 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 3: I'm not mad, I'm whispering. So that's so that's the 615 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,120 Speaker 3: critical thing if you want to get it, if you 616 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:16,120 Speaker 3: want to keep the love affair perfect, just never never, 617 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 3: you know, just whisper you're so. Let's say you and 618 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,480 Speaker 3: your husband are at a restaurant and you feel like 619 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 3: he's flirting with the waitress, right, and you could go, hey, jerk, 620 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 3: what are you doing? Or you go, hey, here, you're 621 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 3: you're hurting my feelings. You don't go. He'll whisper back, 622 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 3: what am I doing? You go, you're flirting with the waitress? 623 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 3: He goes, oh, sorry, I thought he was being charming. 624 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:45,560 Speaker 3: My bad, and he'll and it's over instantly. Instead of 625 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 3: destroying an evening or destroying a weekend or a vacation, 626 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 3: just just the whispering is I think critical for the 627 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 3: little boy and us to never be reprimanded, especially by 628 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 3: the woman whose face we fell in love with. 629 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,320 Speaker 2: H that is so sweet and it is It is 630 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,560 Speaker 2: a good reminder that every man is a child at heart. 631 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: I think women are too. 632 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 2: I think we have a very there's something similar there, 633 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:17,479 Speaker 2: but it's we react differently to things. But just that 634 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 2: relationship changes in your mind when you hear it that way. 635 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,760 Speaker 2: So I thought it was a real blessing to get 636 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,400 Speaker 2: to read your words. And I appreciate it and I 637 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,880 Speaker 2: want other people so just it's just out tell them 638 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 2: where they can get it, men explain. 639 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 1: Finally, here it is. 640 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 3: And I created the artwork too with a friend of mine. 641 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 3: So the safe is locked up type, but the side 642 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,800 Speaker 3: of it has been blown open to share all these 643 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 3: beautiful secrets. You can get it on Amazon and if people, 644 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 3: if you like what you read, please leave a comment 645 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 3: or picking them some stars and put them next to it. 646 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:51,800 Speaker 3: That would be great. 647 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: You will like it. 648 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 2: It was, I mean, honestly, it was so sweet and 649 00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:00,160 Speaker 2: just so real. I think there's not I can not 650 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 2: imagine a person that would read it that wouldn't go Okay, 651 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,720 Speaker 2: yes it makes sense, and I've learned something and I 652 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,840 Speaker 2: can I can change how I react to things, you 653 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:10,439 Speaker 2: know what I. 654 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,359 Speaker 3: And especially and I hope you'll stay in touch with 655 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 3: me because you know, if you put this, just some 656 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,880 Speaker 3: of these ideas in front of your four daughters, they 657 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,360 Speaker 3: will be so far ahead of the rest of the 658 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 3: game because they will know this boy doesn't like me. 659 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,520 Speaker 3: Why am I why do I keep bumping into his life? 660 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:33,439 Speaker 3: He's not interested clearly, and go where the you know fish, 661 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,240 Speaker 3: where the fish are right, go to the boy who's 662 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 3: this is. 663 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, this is what I'm when I hear what. 664 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,560 Speaker 2: When I read this book, I was like, this needs 665 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,759 Speaker 2: to be talked about on college campuses. This is what 666 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 2: because there is a real confusion among young people today 667 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 2: of how to come together, how to love each other, 668 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 2: how to understand, even within your own gender, how to communicate. 669 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 2: I mean, I think that there is that need for 670 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 2: someone to come in and say it's okay, Yeah, it's 671 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 2: okay to fall in love with someone's face, it's okay 672 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:14,680 Speaker 2: to I mean all these things, like it's okay to 673 00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,360 Speaker 2: not understand what he's thinking when you're thinking something else. 674 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 2: But and I thought it was such a valuable thing 675 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,719 Speaker 2: to say for a woman. It's important for you to 676 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 2: praise because I think that's something we're told we have 677 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 2: to be stingy with. 678 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:33,279 Speaker 4: No. 679 00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,640 Speaker 3: Who told you that that's terrible? No, you got gotta 680 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:42,320 Speaker 3: lay it on thick, baby. Come on, that suit looks amazing. 681 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,680 Speaker 3: Let me take a couple of pictures. Right, Okay, Hey, 682 00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,000 Speaker 3: you shaved really well today, that's that's very nice. I mean, 683 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 3: we love it. We're kids. What kid doesn't want to 684 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:52,240 Speaker 3: get praised? 685 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: Of course, I'm walking into the room with the best 686 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 1: looking man here. I mean, those are the. 687 00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 3: Thing, my god, you telling me mister Dixon is not 688 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 3: going to fall over when you like just you grab 689 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 3: his arm and say those words. Wow, I'm walking into 690 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:14,080 Speaker 3: the room with the best looking man in here. Holy moly. 691 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,160 Speaker 2: These are the things, though, that we're not teaching the 692 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,880 Speaker 2: next generation right now. We've taught them so opposite. Be 693 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:25,000 Speaker 2: obsessed with self, be stingy with your compliments. You know, 694 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 2: people don't deserve your time, and how do we get back? 695 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 2: And your book is so critical to that. That's just 696 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,360 Speaker 2: the whole time as I was reading it, I was like, this, 697 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,480 Speaker 2: this is what we need to be reminded of. This 698 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,720 Speaker 2: is what we need to bring back to young people 699 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 2: and say these are the things that are okay and 700 00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:43,200 Speaker 2: they're necessary. 701 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,319 Speaker 1: You know, it's okay because it's to in nate. 702 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,440 Speaker 2: This is how we I mean, this is the same 703 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:51,879 Speaker 2: from Caveman times to today. These are the differences between us. 704 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 2: It's okay to say that there are different ways that 705 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 2: we need to feel love and affection, and that's I 706 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,279 Speaker 2: was like, I want you to go out and talk 707 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,720 Speaker 2: to everyone, like I want you to talk to my girls, 708 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,560 Speaker 2: So I will be talking to them about this assumed. 709 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,239 Speaker 3: Let's let's do a zoom your girls and me and 710 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,880 Speaker 3: well and let them ask and go, Okay, what about 711 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,880 Speaker 3: this and what about I love it. I would absolutely 712 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:15,239 Speaker 3: love it. 713 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,359 Speaker 2: I am gonna make you go. I'm gonna make you 714 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:23,279 Speaker 2: go out and do things. I mean public appearances. I'm serious, 715 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,680 Speaker 2: go and make it okay to give people compliments again. 716 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,759 Speaker 3: Yes, let's do it. 717 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 2: Let's open doors again. Let's say that's okay, I mean, 718 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:35,040 Speaker 2: let's show. 719 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,600 Speaker 3: A let's do a sorority tour together. 720 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:44,959 Speaker 1: That's there, you go, I'm in. I'm in doing. 721 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:49,279 Speaker 2: Thank you so, thank you so much for coming on 722 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 2: today and really get the book. Men explained Finally, it's 723 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 2: not it's it's like one of those things that it's 724 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,800 Speaker 2: not impossible to understand when you when your mind is 725 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,359 Speaker 2: and to it, you go, okay, yes, I get it, 726 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:03,799 Speaker 2: and I'm so glad that you wrote it. 727 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 1: So thank you Tom for being on today. 728 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,200 Speaker 3: I understand why you are so successful. 729 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,879 Speaker 1: Oh you're so sweet. See now I feel like you're 730 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: now you got me. You already know us. We love com. 731 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 3: Thank you so much, I so appreciate you, and I 732 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,400 Speaker 3: look forward to our next conversation. 733 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,080 Speaker 1: Me too, And thank you all for listening today. 734 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,000 Speaker 2: You know where to find the podcast and you can 735 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,960 Speaker 2: watch it on Rumble or YouTube. Thanks for tuning in 736 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,080 Speaker 2: and we'll see you next time.