WEBVTT - “SHOULD I KEEP DOING FAVORS FOR HIM?”

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<v Speaker 1>Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, oh my goodness, what up?

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<v Speaker 1>What up? What up?

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<v Speaker 3>How are you?

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<v Speaker 4>Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm I'm doing okay. I uh it's like

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<v Speaker 1>the afternoon, uh where I'm recording this and uh I

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<v Speaker 1>like mornings. I hate nights. Nights are scary and uncertain

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<v Speaker 1>and weird, but days are great. They have so much

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<v Speaker 1>potential and light. It's good. What's your name?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, my name's Alexis Alexis.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on? Alexis? What brings you to call a

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<v Speaker 1>lizard on the phone today?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my goodness? Here right, I'm going to like catch

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<v Speaker 2>my breath a little bit. I'm like excited. I've been

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<v Speaker 2>listening to your podcast for like the past three years

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<v Speaker 2>to guess. No, yeah, I guess what I'm calling about.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually have like I want to chat wants like this therapy.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, aspect of it. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So like for me personally, I'm going through like a

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<v Speaker 2>bit of like a big life change at the moment.

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<v Speaker 2>I just well, not recently, but like in like seven

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<v Speaker 2>months pregnant currently wow.

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<v Speaker 5>No.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but like with this guy's baby that I had

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<v Speaker 2>like met in rehab, I went through like it was

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<v Speaker 2>my first time like going into treatment in twenty twenty four.

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<v Speaker 2>In January, we dated a bit. I found that I

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<v Speaker 2>was pregnant. I was able to like stay clean through

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<v Speaker 2>all this, but this dude's like like struggled with his sobriety,

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<v Speaker 2>which I understand and everybody understands whenever you're like going

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<v Speaker 2>through rehabilitation. But crazy, crazy, crazy stuff he turned out

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<v Speaker 2>Like whenever I talked to him in the beginning about

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<v Speaker 2>like children and stuff, he told me he didn't have any,

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<v Speaker 2>but he had been like deployed in Germany before and

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<v Speaker 2>he'd had a child in Germany. Like this whole shabang

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<v Speaker 2>where like this German girl like ended up talking to

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<v Speaker 2>me like months later about it. I was already pregnant

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<v Speaker 2>at that point. He went into like a veteran's homeless

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<v Speaker 2>shelter and started getting into like really hard drugs even

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<v Speaker 2>though he'd been sober up till then and stuff. So

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<v Speaker 2>now I'm just kind of like taking care of him

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<v Speaker 2>because he lives in a state separate from like all

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<v Speaker 2>of his family and stuff. I just kind of like,

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<v Speaker 2>like last week I spent like one hundred dollars on

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<v Speaker 2>groceries for him. I'll like randomly bring him joints so

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<v Speaker 2>he doesn't drink. I don't know, and it's kind of

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<v Speaker 2>like sorry, I'm rambling.

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<v Speaker 1>No no, no, no, no, no no, okay. So just to

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<v Speaker 1>be clear, like this guy you met e rehab, you're

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<v Speaker 1>still like he is like living together?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'm not living with him. I'm living with my

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<v Speaker 2>parents now. I was in a sober living before.

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<v Speaker 5>Are you where you live?

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry?

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<v Speaker 1>And is he like is he your boyfriend? Are you

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<v Speaker 1>guys still together?

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<v Speaker 2>No, we are not together. I actually broke up with

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<v Speaker 2>him like two weeks before I found out I was pregnant,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you changed my phone number.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, so you sorry if I'm misunderstanding the story at all,

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<v Speaker 1>But so you're and the guy that you're bringing stuff

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<v Speaker 1>to and getting groceries for, is this the guy who's

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<v Speaker 1>the father of the kid inside.

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<v Speaker 5>Of you right now?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? He Yeah, he's the father of the child.

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<v Speaker 1>So you broke up with him eight months ago or

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<v Speaker 1>seven months ago?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I broke up with him like right before I'd

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<v Speaker 2>found out that I was pregnant.

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<v Speaker 1>So I mean this genuinely. Why are you still running

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<v Speaker 1>errands for him?

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<v Speaker 2>Because his family like lives like we live in Ohio

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<v Speaker 2>and his family lives in Texas. And he's just kind

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<v Speaker 2>of all alone, and whenever I see him, like he

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<v Speaker 2>just looks like really sad. He just dwells inside.

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<v Speaker 3>All the time.

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<v Speaker 2>It just makes I have like a lot of hormones

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<v Speaker 2>for him. I guess that make me emotional for him,

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<v Speaker 2>But I don't want anything with him, like romantically or

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<v Speaker 2>even like sexually. Like I just want to like help

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<v Speaker 2>him out because it's going to be like my daughter's

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<v Speaker 2>father at some point.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, does he do anything for you?

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<v Speaker 2>He listens sometimes like whenever, Like I also struggle with

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<v Speaker 2>having friends like outside of my family, but I have

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<v Speaker 2>a big family, so there I can rely on them

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<v Speaker 2>that way. But he's like who I go to if

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like complaining about like family members. So he like

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<v Speaker 2>provides something and again like he'll get to be which

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<v Speaker 2>he was already a dad before technically, and he kind

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<v Speaker 2>of like just like gave up on that kid, I guess.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know why I'm expecting him to treat

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<v Speaker 2>the baby I'm carrying any differently.

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<v Speaker 1>How old are you, guys, I'm scarious, I'm twenty four.

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<v Speaker 2>He had just turned twenty six in November.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling about the whole situation.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, right now, I just feel really overwhelmed with like

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<v Speaker 2>the upcoming baby and a lot of life changes are happening,

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<v Speaker 2>Like the company I've been working for they're like closing down,

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<v Speaker 2>like they declared bankruptcy and stuff. He's I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I just want him to get it together to help

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<v Speaker 2>me fee a little bit at ease. I'm excited about the baby. Yeah, yeah, well.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, Oh so I'm curious. I mean, so this

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<v Speaker 1>is this was in like an accidental pregnancy, is it's

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<v Speaker 1>is did it kind of take you a second to

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<v Speaker 1>like come to terms with it and be excited about it?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. My mom was like a big

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<v Speaker 2>player in me coming to terms with it and very

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<v Speaker 2>encouraging about me keeping it and like supportive. So but

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<v Speaker 2>at first I was very much on the lines about

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<v Speaker 2>like what I could provide, and then like I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>really have an active father, so and I knew like

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<v Speaker 2>he probably wasn't going to be very active, but I

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<v Speaker 2>was hoping like otherwise, I don't know, m.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well it's it's I mean this like, would you

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<v Speaker 1>even consider this guy like your friend?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's the thing about it, Like out of a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of the relationships I've had, and what I liked

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<v Speaker 2>about him so much is that me and him get

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<v Speaker 2>a long in a very friendly way, Like we get

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<v Speaker 2>along in a playful way. He's just like also really evil.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess it's like I I like differentiate his evilness

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<v Speaker 2>from him I think too much, and I I need

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<v Speaker 2>to get better at accepting. Like maybe that's just like

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<v Speaker 2>his entire character, Like that is him. It's not just

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<v Speaker 2>like these moods he has or whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>Evil. Evil is a strong word. What made you pick

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<v Speaker 1>the word evil? What made you pick? But something made

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<v Speaker 1>you say it? Well, I mean, yeah made.

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<v Speaker 2>Like the reason why I decided to break up with

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<v Speaker 2>him is that I was already teetering with breaking up

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<v Speaker 2>with him because I could, like I like noticed that

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<v Speaker 2>he had like relapsed, but he wasn't admitting to it,

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<v Speaker 2>and he like threatened to like share a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>intimate photos of me on like that to my parents. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and then like he's going to kill himself. I had

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<v Speaker 2>to call the police on him, like two several days

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<v Speaker 2>and even neat of them yeah, with them to him.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I changed my phone number, and then I

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<v Speaker 2>found out I was pregnant so I reached out and

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<v Speaker 2>then when his other German baby, Mom.

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<v Speaker 1>What sorry, wow, what's your name again?

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<v Speaker 2>It's Alexis.

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<v Speaker 1>Alexis, So, why why are you still running errands for

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<v Speaker 1>this guy.

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<v Speaker 2>Again? I'm just trying. I think maybe if I like

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<v Speaker 2>help him out enough and he can like get situated

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<v Speaker 2>enough and like get out of this hole he's in,

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<v Speaker 2>like my baby would probably be able to have like

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<v Speaker 2>her dad around. But I don't know if there's like

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<v Speaker 2>any saving him because just since I've been pregnant, he's

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<v Speaker 2>been through like detox or rehab like five times, like

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<v Speaker 2>like going back and forth like as a hail Mary

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<v Speaker 2>to get like me to forgive him, and then he

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<v Speaker 2>just relapses or messes up again like right after.

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<v Speaker 1>Look, brother, let me ask you a question here. Uh

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<v Speaker 1>do you I mean, do you feel like you're putting

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<v Speaker 1>effort into this guy like at your own detriment? Uh?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I see like some sort

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<v Speaker 2>of benefit.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know you ever talk to a real therapist

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<v Speaker 1>about this.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a therapist, Yeah, but I left the program

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<v Speaker 2>I was in to come home to be pregnant because

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't say they're pregnant. But yeah, I should probably

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<v Speaker 2>get another therapist.

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<v Speaker 4>M m m.

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<v Speaker 5>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I kind of asked this already, but like,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, how are you feeling about the whole thing,

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<v Speaker 1>Like how are you feeling about, you know, getting a

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<v Speaker 1>kind of as as as you said, like, how are

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<v Speaker 1>you feeling about like running errands for this guy to

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<v Speaker 1>your own detriment.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I just again, I just kind of

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<v Speaker 2>want to help him out. And then, like I guess, whenever,

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<v Speaker 2>like my kids like older, I can tell her, like

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<v Speaker 2>at least I tried, whenever I have to explain like

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<v Speaker 2>why he's like not around or something, but hopefully like

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<v Speaker 2>he would be. But I don't know. I'm just trying

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<v Speaker 2>to I don't know. Again, I just wish you'd get

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<v Speaker 2>it together. I keep telling him to like go home

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<v Speaker 2>to Texas and be around family, like because he relies

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<v Speaker 2>on me as his only source of contact, but he

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<v Speaker 2>could be lying about that. I don't know. I just

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<v Speaker 2>I just really want this dude to like get it

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<v Speaker 2>together in some degree, like at all. But I understand

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<v Speaker 2>that's not my problem either, and I should be focused

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<v Speaker 2>on like the baby stuff, but I feel like their

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<v Speaker 2>interlinkd mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, yeah, dude, it's uh, well it's so hard

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<v Speaker 1>because there's like a so it's it's weird. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like as I'm getting older, I'm personally personally like learning

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<v Speaker 1>more about like relationships with other people, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>there's something to be said about yeah kind of what

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<v Speaker 1>you're saying where you're like, listen, I'm trying my best here,

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<v Speaker 1>and uh you like you you got to like I

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<v Speaker 1>think there's a thing of like accepting that you cannot

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<v Speaker 1>change a person. Uh, this is like accepting you kind

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<v Speaker 1>of change a person, but knowing that you try your

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<v Speaker 1>best to uphold your end of the deal, uh in

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<v Speaker 1>a situation such as this, and hopefully the way to

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<v Speaker 1>go about it is like, look, man, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>uphold my end of this fucking deal, and uh I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to do the best I can within my uh

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<v Speaker 1>finite flawed human ability, and uh whatever whatever the fuck

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<v Speaker 1>happens after that, Uh it was, you know, I had

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<v Speaker 1>no say in it. I only I only did the

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<v Speaker 1>thing with the part that I had the thing.

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<v Speaker 2>In, you know, no, yeah, exactly exactly. I'm hoping that

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<v Speaker 2>once I like pop the baby out, that I will

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<v Speaker 2>feel like my role with him was kind of finished.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I helped him up to the extent where I

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<v Speaker 2>could finally be like, Okay, I need to be focused

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<v Speaker 2>on this thing now and I did my best, and

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<v Speaker 2>maybe meeting her will help change something in him. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, we'll see, hopefully, who knows. I do need

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<v Speaker 2>to like back off at some point and like just

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<v Speaker 2>let him like sit in his ship a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>to pull himself together.

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<v Speaker 1>Well yeah, I mean, look, if this guy's not giving

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<v Speaker 1>you anything back of value to your life, right, like,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the that's the the question you have to ask

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<v Speaker 1>yourself is like, is this this person's presence in my

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<v Speaker 1>life remotely fucking valuable? And if it's not, then you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I I guess what are you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>Because you could also I mean, I don't know how

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<v Speaker 1>it developed your own life is or what you kind

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<v Speaker 1>of want for yourself, and how much of the attention

0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:46.040
<v Speaker 1>you're giving to this guy is detracting you from that.

0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:48.680
<v Speaker 1>And I think if if you felt like this guy,

0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 1>if you really, in your gut felt like this guy's

0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.440
<v Speaker 1>presence in your life was important to you, then it

0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:58.120
<v Speaker 1>would be worthwhile to sacrifice, you know, some of yourself

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:05.400
<v Speaker 1>for it. But if not, then uh yeah, I don't

0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.320
<v Speaker 1>really know what what's going on.

0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:15.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like that's a real thing though, like I probably yeah, yeah,

0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I need to I need to figure out like balancing.

0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:24.720
<v Speaker 2>Like well, if if I had more like like like

0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:26.440
<v Speaker 2>I said, like when the baby comes, that's going to

0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:28.720
<v Speaker 2>be something that would need my full attention and that

0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:33.280
<v Speaker 2>would feel more fulfilling and stuff to where I'm not

0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:36.160
<v Speaker 2>like I don't even know. I don't even know, but

0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.120
<v Speaker 2>I am super excited that I got to talk to

0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.320
<v Speaker 2>you though I've tried to call you so many times now,

0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:41.640
<v Speaker 2>so I was very excited.

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:43.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad, you know, I'm glad I got.

0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:45.360
<v Speaker 2>Because I was so excited.

0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:47.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad I got to talk to you too. I've been,

0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:49.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, I've been. I've been on a lot of

0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.800
<v Speaker 1>rants lately in my own brain and on the live

0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.720
<v Speaker 1>stream thing of this just talking about you know, I'm

0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:02.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, so, I'm like so burnt out on like

0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:08.360
<v Speaker 1>uh the I don't the advice portion of this podcast.

0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:10.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm just starting to hate like when people are like

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what to do here. I'm always I

0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.960
<v Speaker 1>just in my gut, I'm just like, I don't know, dude,

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:17.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, like I don't I think, I think,

0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:21.800
<v Speaker 1>I think, Yeah, I get burnt on on that because

0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:24.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't fucking know what to do in life at all.

0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:29.240
<v Speaker 1>Life is really uh big and scary to me, and

0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:32.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to deal with like a lot

0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:36.520
<v Speaker 1>of ship. But I liked I liked talking to you

0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 1>about this because it's it's a bit of a you know,

0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:40.480
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I feel like we kind of are

0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:42.040
<v Speaker 1>like talk talking through something.

0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 5>You know.

0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:44.720
<v Speaker 1>It felt, it felt, I felt, I felt good, I

0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.840
<v Speaker 1>felt I enjoyed and I and as I liked hearing

0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:51.400
<v Speaker 1>your perspective on this situation and hearing what's going on

0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:53.000
<v Speaker 1>with you. It was cool.

0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.880
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. I enjoyed getting to like let out my

0:15:56.960 --> 0:16:00.160
<v Speaker 2>gapping a little bit, and that's all I really. It's

0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:01.640
<v Speaker 2>nice to get to do that and get to be

0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:02.120
<v Speaker 2>listened to.

0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:04.880
<v Speaker 1>So thank you for that, Alexis is there anything else

0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:06.200
<v Speaker 1>you want to say to the people of the computer

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:06.760
<v Speaker 1>before we go?

0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.000
<v Speaker 2>Have a good night? Thank you?

0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:16.680
<v Speaker 1>Hey YouTube, bye bye, hey, goodbye. Hey. What's your name?

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:18.560
<v Speaker 5>Raffi?

0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:20.760
<v Speaker 1>RAFFI? What's up? RAFFI?

0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:26.280
<v Speaker 5>What's going on? I don't know? Man, you know, I

0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:30.520
<v Speaker 5>just started grad school to be a therapist, and the

0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:33.360
<v Speaker 5>more I learn about it, it's really interesting. I just

0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:34.480
<v Speaker 5>don't know if I'm built for this.

0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I mean I think being a real I'm

0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:41.320
<v Speaker 1>just gonna be honest. I think being a real therapist,

0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:46.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to say sounds awful that I think

0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:50.120
<v Speaker 1>that's like a simplification, but I think it requires you

0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:57.000
<v Speaker 1>to be a very specific kind of person, with like

0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:06.119
<v Speaker 1>a specific brain and a specific amount of like emotional tolerance.

0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.359
<v Speaker 1>I remember one time I was talking to I saw

0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:14.680
<v Speaker 1>a therapist for a good for like like I saw

0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:17.200
<v Speaker 1>a therapist for like pretty much all of the summer

0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.960
<v Speaker 1>of twenty twenty four, and I remember I was really

0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:24.880
<v Speaker 1>like going off to him, I like really really emotionally

0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:28.879
<v Speaker 1>going off to him. And I was like, I was

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.000
<v Speaker 1>crying and I was going off to him, and I

0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:33.159
<v Speaker 1>remember I was looking I was like, oh, I was like,

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:34.919
<v Speaker 1>you know, deeply in my own emotions, but I was

0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:39.359
<v Speaker 1>looking at him and I and after I finished my rant,

0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.239
<v Speaker 1>I said to him, I was like, you have a

0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:46.359
<v Speaker 1>really hard job, you know, like because I don't know

0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:48.680
<v Speaker 1>how the fuck I would feel if somebody just said

0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:53.160
<v Speaker 1>everything that I just fucking said with so much direness

0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:57.639
<v Speaker 1>and emotion to me, you know, I would feel I

0:17:57.720 --> 0:17:59.840
<v Speaker 1>was completely insane.

0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:03.520
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, did you feel like better? Did it feel like?

0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.600
<v Speaker 5>Do you feel like it worked? Because my fear is

0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:09.240
<v Speaker 5>like I'm just gonna not help people, like they're gonna

0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.720
<v Speaker 5>come to me and like I'm gonna try my best,

0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:16.679
<v Speaker 5>you know, giving empathetic space and just listening openly, no

0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:21.040
<v Speaker 5>judgment and not like giving advice or anything, but just listening. Right,

0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:23.520
<v Speaker 5>So do you feel like that actually made an impact

0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:23.960
<v Speaker 5>for you?

0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:27.439
<v Speaker 1>That's a good question. I think it helps in the moment.

0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:32.359
<v Speaker 1>But one of the things that I don't like about

0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:39.920
<v Speaker 1>therapy is that, well, it's such an individual thing because

0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:45.600
<v Speaker 1>for some people who maybe have trouble processing their own emotions,

0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:48.959
<v Speaker 1>like it's helpful to talk them out. For me, I'm

0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:54.880
<v Speaker 1>a big journal a guy Like I journal almost every

0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:57.679
<v Speaker 1>day and I've been doing it regularly for like eight years,

0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:03.280
<v Speaker 1>and that's therapy. That's therapy for me is journaling. That's

0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:05.119
<v Speaker 1>how I get out my emotions and my thoughts and

0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:09.439
<v Speaker 1>my feelings. For a little bit, I was like, I

0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:11.679
<v Speaker 1>haven't been doing this that much recently, but I had

0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:15.040
<v Speaker 1>a phase where I was like writing journals and then

0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:18.439
<v Speaker 1>copy pasting them into chat GPT and being like, what

0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:20.480
<v Speaker 1>do you think about this? And it would give me

0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:25.320
<v Speaker 1>back some good feedback and I liked that, And therapy

0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:32.520
<v Speaker 1>is kind of meant to scratch that same mich uh,

0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:35.440
<v Speaker 1>are you gonna be good at it? I mean some

0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:38.840
<v Speaker 1>people are gonna I something right, Well, yeah, I mean

0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:42.520
<v Speaker 1>some people are gonna hate you. Some people they're gonna

0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:44.680
<v Speaker 1>say a bunch of stuff to you about their life,

0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:48.119
<v Speaker 1>and then you're gonna say something like, well, how do

0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:50.760
<v Speaker 1>how do you feel about that? And they're gonna go,

0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.639
<v Speaker 1>fuck this guy, I hate that. I'm paying him one

0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:56.680
<v Speaker 1>hundred dollars an hour, two hundred or three hundred, wherever

0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:59.679
<v Speaker 1>the fuck it is, and they're gonna hate you, and

0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:03.280
<v Speaker 1>they're going to think that you're useless. But then other people,

0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:06.199
<v Speaker 1>you'll they'll say a bunch of shit to you and

0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.159
<v Speaker 1>you'll go, well, how do you feel about that? And

0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:11.960
<v Speaker 1>they'll go, oh my god, no one's ever asked me

0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:14.680
<v Speaker 1>that before. This is how I feel about it. And

0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:20.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, you you'll just be like a blank, a

0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:23.919
<v Speaker 1>rubber wall for them to bounce their shit off of

0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:27.480
<v Speaker 1>and figure it out by themselves That's how therapy felt

0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:30.280
<v Speaker 1>to me, is I was talking to this guy, and

0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:32.520
<v Speaker 1>I was talking to about a bunch of shit. And

0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:35.320
<v Speaker 1>while I was talking to him, I was going, well,

0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:38.119
<v Speaker 1>maybe actually this and why you know, actually, okay, I

0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:40.639
<v Speaker 1>now that I'm talking about it, the conclusion is actually this,

0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:43.639
<v Speaker 1>and I but I was I felt like I was

0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.919
<v Speaker 1>getting ripped off because I was doing therapy on myself

0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:51.960
<v Speaker 1>basically while this guy was, you know, standing there. So

0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:57.880
<v Speaker 1>maybe subconsciously weird.

0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.040
<v Speaker 5>Because you got to like find that right balance of

0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:02.080
<v Speaker 5>like not giving someone advice and telling them what to do,

0:21:02.280 --> 0:21:05.080
<v Speaker 5>but also like gently pushing them to do the right

0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:07.520
<v Speaker 5>thing or just like what they perceive to be the

0:21:07.640 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 5>right thing for them, And like how do I hold

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:14.439
<v Speaker 5>my shit back? It's just been really interesting and like

0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:17.280
<v Speaker 5>I think I'm fucking built for it. I just hope

0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:20.679
<v Speaker 5>that like I can do it properly and like not

0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:23.159
<v Speaker 5>harm people, because like I've had bad therapists, you know,

0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:27.679
<v Speaker 5>and like there's not like a determining factor. There's not

0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:30.280
<v Speaker 5>like a line in the sand that makes you good

0:21:30.320 --> 0:21:34.160
<v Speaker 5>therapists bad therapist other than the like ethically incorrect things

0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:35.320
<v Speaker 5>to do, which there are.

0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:43.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know, man, I I, Uh, it sounds trite,

0:21:43.880 --> 0:21:45.960
<v Speaker 1>But the more I do this show, and the older

0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:47.639
<v Speaker 1>I get, and the more I think about stuff, and

0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:50.880
<v Speaker 1>the more I ride the roller coaster of my own life,

0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:57.960
<v Speaker 1>the more I just have less and less answers to

0:21:58.080 --> 0:22:02.719
<v Speaker 1>any of the things, right and I and therapy, and

0:22:02.840 --> 0:22:07.600
<v Speaker 1>therapy is kind of there for you to work out

0:22:07.720 --> 0:22:13.439
<v Speaker 1>the answers to your own things. But therapy is not

0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:16.080
<v Speaker 1>like a pill you can take to change your life.

0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:20.719
<v Speaker 1>It's not like, uh, you know, I don't know. Sometimes

0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:22.919
<v Speaker 1>you have to do stuff. That was the thing that

0:22:23.000 --> 0:22:25.080
<v Speaker 1>was why I got sick of therapy is I was

0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:28.680
<v Speaker 1>talking about my problems, and uh, I thought about a

0:22:28.720 --> 0:22:31.760
<v Speaker 1>couple of things. For first of all, this this might

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:35.240
<v Speaker 1>sound insane, but when I was regularly going to therapy

0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:38.560
<v Speaker 1>and regularly journaling about my problems, part of me, part

0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:42.680
<v Speaker 1>of me thought to myself, by by talking about this stuff,

0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:49.679
<v Speaker 1>what's what's the line between talking through your problems in

0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:53.440
<v Speaker 1>a healthy way versus talking about your problems and thinking

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:57.560
<v Speaker 1>about them so much that you center your life around

0:22:57.680 --> 0:23:04.000
<v Speaker 1>your problems. And uh, I got to a point where

0:23:04.040 --> 0:23:06.600
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I think, I'm I think the center

0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:10.840
<v Speaker 1>piece of my life is not My joy is not

0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:13.840
<v Speaker 1>the my relationships. It's not what I have. It's my

0:23:14.080 --> 0:23:19.760
<v Speaker 1>fucking bullshit, fucking ship that I'm always complaining about in

0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:24.320
<v Speaker 1>my journal or in therapy. And to what point is

0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:27.200
<v Speaker 1>it healthy for me to work these things out? Versus

0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:29.280
<v Speaker 1>to what point do I just go? You know what,

0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:32.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna try to think about things differently, and

0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna try to, uh do the most annoying thing

0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:40.760
<v Speaker 1>of all time, which is take some form of actual

0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:46.159
<v Speaker 1>action whatever that looks like, to deal with my problems

0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:48.919
<v Speaker 1>instead of just repeating them over and over and fucking

0:23:48.960 --> 0:23:52.560
<v Speaker 1>over again. I don't know what the.

0:23:52.520 --> 0:23:56.040
<v Speaker 5>Healthy awareness is like the first step, but it don't

0:23:56.440 --> 0:24:01.359
<v Speaker 5>do shit. It's like it's cool, It's like, ah cool,

0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:03.320
<v Speaker 5>now I know I have a problem, But like, fuck,

0:24:03.359 --> 0:24:06.760
<v Speaker 5>what am I supposed to do now? Like you're so right, man?

0:24:06.760 --> 0:24:08.440
<v Speaker 5>That taking action part fucking hard?

0:24:08.680 --> 0:24:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you gotta do. You gotta do stuff, You gotta

0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:16.760
<v Speaker 1>do stuff, Like I hated. I don't know, like like, uh,

0:24:16.880 --> 0:24:18.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I don't want to get into my

0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:21.159
<v Speaker 1>own fucking problems, but like I just I just for

0:24:21.200 --> 0:24:24.240
<v Speaker 1>a while, I was like, and I'd like to think

0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:27.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm a fairly action oriented person. I'm trying to become

0:24:27.480 --> 0:24:30.399
<v Speaker 1>more of one. But the more you talk through your

0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:32.879
<v Speaker 1>problems and the less you take an action or doing

0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:34.920
<v Speaker 1>anything about him, you just you just wind up being

0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:38.840
<v Speaker 1>a just from from I'm saying this from experience, the

0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:40.840
<v Speaker 1>more you just wind up being like a sad sack,

0:24:41.560 --> 0:24:44.119
<v Speaker 1>you know, Like I and I I got and I

0:24:44.119 --> 0:24:46.919
<v Speaker 1>got kind of tired of it, and I was like, dude.

0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:48.439
<v Speaker 5>Now I've been doing I feel like I've been doing

0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:51.000
<v Speaker 5>a lot of like relearning about like what therapy is

0:24:51.080 --> 0:24:53.159
<v Speaker 5>just by being in school. And like I had a

0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:55.479
<v Speaker 5>thought that there was people who just kind of belonged

0:24:55.520 --> 0:24:58.720
<v Speaker 5>in therapy. But that's just like so wrong. Like you're

0:24:58.720 --> 0:25:01.240
<v Speaker 5>not supposed to be in therapy for long time, no,

0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:04.120
<v Speaker 5>or like if you are, like it's very special cases,

0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:06.399
<v Speaker 5>but you're not supposed to be in guarritee forever. You're

0:25:06.400 --> 0:25:08.280
<v Speaker 5>really supposed to be there until your shit is solved

0:25:08.400 --> 0:25:11.359
<v Speaker 5>and you get out, like yeah, not like sitting with

0:25:11.400 --> 0:25:12.400
<v Speaker 5>the sadness, Like.

0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Fuck yeah, you don't want to just sit with it forever.

0:25:16.080 --> 0:25:18.920
<v Speaker 1>You don't want to just dwell and dwell and dwell

0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:23.679
<v Speaker 1>and dwell and dwell forever. Right at a certain point,

0:25:25.680 --> 0:25:29.320
<v Speaker 1>I think I think you gotta you gotta, you know,

0:25:30.240 --> 0:25:32.639
<v Speaker 1>you know, go make a make a plan and like

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:38.479
<v Speaker 1>do some shit. But but also also some some everyone's

0:25:38.560 --> 0:25:41.560
<v Speaker 1>kind of oriented differently, and I I'm only speaking from like,

0:25:42.000 --> 0:25:44.199
<v Speaker 1>I really this is just my like experience and in

0:25:44.280 --> 0:25:47.400
<v Speaker 1>my life, and uh, I think it would be arrogant

0:25:47.400 --> 0:25:50.000
<v Speaker 1>of me to assume that my life experience is is

0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:55.919
<v Speaker 1>mirrors everyone else's. And so for some people, like genuinely

0:25:56.280 --> 0:26:00.680
<v Speaker 1>some people who who have not had opportunities to talk

0:26:00.800 --> 0:26:04.560
<v Speaker 1>things out, maybe because they haven't discovered journaling, or they

0:26:04.600 --> 0:26:08.000
<v Speaker 1>haven't you know, they don't have a strong support system,

0:26:08.440 --> 0:26:10.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, it could be helpful, It could be helpful.

0:26:10.600 --> 0:26:13.320
<v Speaker 1>So I again, I'm just speaking from my own experience.

0:26:13.359 --> 0:26:18.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm not I don't want to say that my my

0:26:18.200 --> 0:26:22.560
<v Speaker 1>experience is is God or anything. But yeah, I think

0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:26.200
<v Speaker 1>being an action like being a real therapist, I think

0:26:26.280 --> 0:26:28.960
<v Speaker 1>would be exhausting. I mean, I get pretty exhausted a

0:26:28.960 --> 0:26:31.919
<v Speaker 1>lot of the times doing this show and this is

0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:33.280
<v Speaker 1>like a total bullshit thing.

0:26:35.200 --> 0:26:37.680
<v Speaker 5>And being like a I don't know if it bullshit.

0:26:37.920 --> 0:26:42.800
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm just I'm being self deprecating, you know. Yeah,

0:26:43.040 --> 0:26:45.240
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I mean I think like being a real

0:26:45.800 --> 0:26:47.280
<v Speaker 1>well it's fine, I mean, yeah, I get exhausted doing

0:26:47.320 --> 0:26:49.200
<v Speaker 1>this show, like being like a real therapist who has

0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:54.439
<v Speaker 1>like genuine accountability, uh you know, because they're they're like

0:26:54.480 --> 0:26:59.479
<v Speaker 1>a medical professional. Yeah, it sounds like a lot.

0:27:00.640 --> 0:27:03.280
<v Speaker 5>I don't even feel like that part scares me, Like

0:27:03.520 --> 0:27:06.159
<v Speaker 5>the like the like ethics of it all, or just

0:27:06.280 --> 0:27:09.159
<v Speaker 5>keeping with the code and you know, keeping with laws

0:27:09.200 --> 0:27:14.040
<v Speaker 5>and you know, telling clients about informed consent, And I

0:27:14.080 --> 0:27:16.720
<v Speaker 5>don't feel like those things aren't scaring me. It's just

0:27:16.760 --> 0:27:20.199
<v Speaker 5>the concept of like being in a room with someone

0:27:20.440 --> 0:27:22.560
<v Speaker 5>and then them looking to me as some sort of

0:27:22.600 --> 0:27:28.040
<v Speaker 5>like person with answers when I'm just me, Like, I

0:27:28.119 --> 0:27:31.520
<v Speaker 5>feel like I don't know, like does my educations, is

0:27:31.600 --> 0:27:34.679
<v Speaker 5>my years of like working in a practicum space or

0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:37.600
<v Speaker 5>internship or whatever, is that really going to make me prepared?

0:27:38.440 --> 0:27:38.840
<v Speaker 5>I don't know.

0:27:41.119 --> 0:27:43.880
<v Speaker 1>Well no, you well yeah of course well not yeah,

0:27:43.880 --> 0:27:46.320
<v Speaker 1>of course. Well anyone who looks anyone who comes to

0:27:46.400 --> 0:27:53.480
<v Speaker 1>therapy looking for answers, I mean, good luck. Well I

0:27:53.720 --> 0:28:01.320
<v Speaker 1>don't think I mean, uh, you know, I think like answers,

0:28:01.359 --> 0:28:04.200
<v Speaker 1>can you know only you you you already.

0:28:03.800 --> 0:28:07.720
<v Speaker 5>Have the answers, right, So maybe it's just my that

0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:10.880
<v Speaker 5>concept of therapy is not just in my own head.

0:28:10.920 --> 0:28:13.359
<v Speaker 5>It's not it's looking for answers, but that's not it

0:28:13.440 --> 0:28:13.960
<v Speaker 5>for everyone.

0:28:14.600 --> 0:28:16.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, I don't know therapy is.

0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:18.679
<v Speaker 6>It's weird.

0:28:18.800 --> 0:28:22.600
<v Speaker 1>I know, I really I found a lot of joy

0:28:22.840 --> 0:28:24.879
<v Speaker 1>and I'm only I'm I'm not trying to be like,

0:28:26.359 --> 0:28:29.320
<v Speaker 1>uh what I talked on the podcast a little while ago,

0:28:29.320 --> 0:28:31.240
<v Speaker 1>back when I was really, I'm less into it now

0:28:31.280 --> 0:28:33.359
<v Speaker 1>because I think I got I got a little too

0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:37.760
<v Speaker 1>into it and I started like, uh what I what

0:28:37.800 --> 0:28:40.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm What I'm trying to say is like ure, I

0:28:40.640 --> 0:28:45.040
<v Speaker 1>still love journaling, but journaling and throwing my journals into

0:28:45.080 --> 0:28:50.360
<v Speaker 1>chat GPT was really helpful. I could see it being

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:55.200
<v Speaker 1>kind of detrimental in some sense because I I I

0:28:55.400 --> 0:28:57.800
<v Speaker 1>at a certain point like I was I was kind

0:28:57.800 --> 0:29:00.600
<v Speaker 1>of amazed at the technology. I was amazed that, like

0:29:00.680 --> 0:29:07.800
<v Speaker 1>I could get objective, non emotional, logical, well thought out,

0:29:08.360 --> 0:29:14.960
<v Speaker 1>well reasoned answers from a machine and I and I

0:29:15.040 --> 0:29:17.360
<v Speaker 1>was kind of intoxicated by that for a while. But

0:29:17.400 --> 0:29:20.360
<v Speaker 1>then I started living my life, not living my life,

0:29:20.360 --> 0:29:22.880
<v Speaker 1>but I started kind of thinking in terms of the machine,

0:29:23.680 --> 0:29:27.960
<v Speaker 1>and that was a little too rigid for me. I think,

0:29:28.000 --> 0:29:29.680
<v Speaker 1>but it's helpful if you have you've never done it,

0:29:30.440 --> 0:29:32.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's a helpful thing to do, especially if

0:29:32.200 --> 0:29:35.240
<v Speaker 1>you can't afford us here.

0:29:35.080 --> 0:29:37.480
<v Speaker 5>And there for like fucking assignments and ship. But like,

0:29:37.520 --> 0:29:41.240
<v Speaker 5>I haven't put my own personal like, uh, you know,

0:29:41.360 --> 0:29:45.000
<v Speaker 5>whatever I'm dealing with into chachipt. I haven't thought about that.

0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:47.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna put I'm not gonna put my I'm

0:29:47.200 --> 0:29:50.160
<v Speaker 1>not gonna put my Lyle stamp of endorsement on it

0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:54.280
<v Speaker 1>by any means. But I was doing it for a

0:29:54.320 --> 0:29:57.480
<v Speaker 1>while and it was, uh, it was helpful for me

0:29:57.720 --> 0:30:00.560
<v Speaker 1>for the duration I was doing it, and I still

0:30:00.560 --> 0:30:02.440
<v Speaker 1>I still, I still like use it. I still use

0:30:02.440 --> 0:30:06.560
<v Speaker 1>it for advice a lot because it's.

0:30:06.760 --> 0:30:07.200
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, but.

0:30:10.200 --> 0:30:12.760
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, it's better than me. It's way God,

0:30:12.760 --> 0:30:14.680
<v Speaker 1>it's way better than me. Dear God. Please, if you

0:30:14.760 --> 0:30:18.640
<v Speaker 1>have a question, uh yeah, because chat well, because chat ChiPT,

0:30:18.840 --> 0:30:22.000
<v Speaker 1>you'll never ask it something and and it'll go You'll

0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:24.280
<v Speaker 1>never ask chat chip t something and have it go.

0:30:24.760 --> 0:30:24.920
<v Speaker 5>Well.

0:30:25.000 --> 0:30:27.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, man, Yeah, I don't know. That's kind

0:30:27.360 --> 0:30:27.800
<v Speaker 1>of crazy.

0:30:28.560 --> 0:30:28.760
<v Speaker 5>You know.

0:30:28.920 --> 0:30:31.560
<v Speaker 1>I'll do that nine times out of ten.

0:30:32.920 --> 0:30:35.160
<v Speaker 5>It's all validating to put something into chatch ept and

0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:38.040
<v Speaker 5>give it, give me like five hundred seven hundred words

0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:41.840
<v Speaker 5>like sometimes I don't want all of that, you know,

0:30:42.200 --> 0:30:45.160
<v Speaker 5>but I guess you can tailor your uh message and

0:30:45.160 --> 0:30:47.760
<v Speaker 5>have them give you less.

0:30:48.760 --> 0:30:54.360
<v Speaker 1>Well. I think you'll you'll die one day and before that,

0:30:54.960 --> 0:31:01.080
<v Speaker 1>UH probably have probably find some joys. Is that comforting?

0:31:02.640 --> 0:31:04.719
<v Speaker 1>Somewhat somewhat okay?

0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:05.880
<v Speaker 5>I like the last part?

0:31:06.520 --> 0:31:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Good? What do you mean? What do you mean? I

0:31:09.560 --> 0:31:11.640
<v Speaker 1>know about it. You're definitely gonna die one day. That's

0:31:11.640 --> 0:31:15.720
<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent thing that I'm certain of. I'm one

0:31:15.800 --> 0:31:17.920
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent certain that you're going to die one day,

0:31:18.080 --> 0:31:21.200
<v Speaker 1>and I'm I'm a hundred I'm certain that one day

0:31:21.240 --> 0:31:24.960
<v Speaker 1>you and I will die, and I'm optimistic that between

0:31:25.000 --> 0:31:29.600
<v Speaker 1>now and then we will find uh moments of joy

0:31:29.880 --> 0:31:35.400
<v Speaker 1>in some way, shape or form, and also moments of

0:31:35.400 --> 0:31:42.600
<v Speaker 1>of sadness and of uh of of horniness and of

0:31:42.640 --> 0:31:50.680
<v Speaker 1>being really hungry and of having diarrhea, and of of

0:31:50.680 --> 0:31:54.720
<v Speaker 1>of eating a piece of candy. Maybe mm hmm.

0:31:55.920 --> 0:32:00.200
<v Speaker 5>That does make me feel better? Good? Yes, that was.

0:32:01.840 --> 0:32:02.720
<v Speaker 1>What's your name again?

0:32:04.000 --> 0:32:10.080
<v Speaker 5>It's Raffi, Rahi Rassi, It's Raphael, but I.

0:32:10.080 --> 0:32:18.760
<v Speaker 1>Go by well Raffi. Uh, listen, man, God bless Uzbeka

0:32:18.840 --> 0:32:26.840
<v Speaker 1>Stan and God bless your your aunt and I'll see

0:32:28.200 --> 0:32:30.560
<v Speaker 1>God bless your mother, your fucking aunt. Is there anything

0:32:30.560 --> 0:32:31.720
<v Speaker 1>else you want to say to the people of the

0:32:31.720 --> 0:32:32.640
<v Speaker 1>computer before we go?

0:32:34.360 --> 0:32:40.000
<v Speaker 5>Uh No, have a good night, drink water. We're all

0:32:40.000 --> 0:32:40.560
<v Speaker 5>gonna die.

0:32:40.800 --> 0:32:41.640
<v Speaker 1>We're all gonna die.

0:32:43.960 --> 0:32:44.240
<v Speaker 6>Peace.

0:32:44.440 --> 0:32:44.840
<v Speaker 5>Thank you.

0:32:47.800 --> 0:32:54.120
<v Speaker 1>That was rafi. That was nice. I liked that. Uh,

0:32:54.360 --> 0:32:56.440
<v Speaker 1>therapy is crazy. I don't have anything else to add

0:32:56.480 --> 0:32:58.920
<v Speaker 1>to that conversation that I don't think I already said.

0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:05.080
<v Speaker 1>Uh yeah, I'm still trying to. I don't know. I'm

0:33:05.120 --> 0:33:07.680
<v Speaker 1>curious people stuff. If you're if you listen to this

0:33:07.720 --> 0:33:11.640
<v Speaker 1>podcast or you watch it on YouTube or whatever, let

0:33:11.680 --> 0:33:14.000
<v Speaker 1>me know. I don't know the conversation we just had.

0:33:14.040 --> 0:33:17.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm genuinely curious what other people's thoughts are on it,

0:33:17.640 --> 0:33:21.400
<v Speaker 1>So leave a comment with your thoughts on like Adam's

0:33:21.480 --> 0:33:24.560
<v Speaker 1>therapy helpful for you? Like what's what's been helpful for you?

0:33:24.640 --> 0:33:28.440
<v Speaker 1>Like I guess the general question I'm curious about for

0:33:28.560 --> 0:33:31.000
<v Speaker 1>myself and for the people listening is like like moving

0:33:31.040 --> 0:33:33.640
<v Speaker 1>your life forward or like dealing with your shit, Like

0:33:33.680 --> 0:33:37.240
<v Speaker 1>what's what's been the most helpful thing? Because yeah, I'm

0:33:37.280 --> 0:33:43.520
<v Speaker 1>just to reiterate like I'm so, I'm so torn between

0:33:43.560 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 1>how much of talking about your problems is centering them

0:33:47.760 --> 0:33:53.560
<v Speaker 1>in your life versus how much how much is centering

0:33:53.600 --> 0:33:55.360
<v Speaker 1>them in your life versus like dealing with it. I

0:33:55.400 --> 0:33:57.720
<v Speaker 1>really don't know, So I'm curious what people think. So

0:33:57.840 --> 0:34:02.360
<v Speaker 1>leave a leave a comment, or or don't or don't

0:34:02.480 --> 0:34:06.960
<v Speaker 1>or do whatever you want. What's up, Shelley? How you doing?

0:34:07.640 --> 0:34:10.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh? Not much. I'm actually doing pretty good. How are you?

0:34:10.719 --> 0:34:10.919
<v Speaker 6>Man?

0:34:11.800 --> 0:34:15.319
<v Speaker 1>Uh, I'm doing actually pretty good myself. Is there anything

0:34:15.320 --> 0:34:22.600
<v Speaker 1>in particular you you called in to want to talk about, Shelley.

0:34:20.080 --> 0:34:22.160
<v Speaker 3>Well, you did say earlier you're not really in the

0:34:22.200 --> 0:34:23.120
<v Speaker 3>mood for advice.

0:34:23.400 --> 0:34:25.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, I don't, you know, forget about what I said earlier.

0:34:26.040 --> 0:34:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Do you can tell me, you know, don't whatever, whatever

0:34:28.480 --> 0:34:29.799
<v Speaker 1>you want to talk about, I'm in for.

0:34:31.400 --> 0:34:35.160
<v Speaker 3>Hmm. Honestly, I've been doing really good the past times

0:34:35.200 --> 0:34:38.560
<v Speaker 3>I've tried to call in. I always need like some deeps,

0:34:38.600 --> 0:34:43.000
<v Speaker 3>like you know, some types of specific advice, But I

0:34:43.040 --> 0:34:44.640
<v Speaker 3>don't really have anything right now.

0:34:45.719 --> 0:34:48.480
<v Speaker 1>What is it that uh uh okay, Well then what

0:34:48.640 --> 0:34:50.480
<v Speaker 1>is it that was going on? And what changed?

0:34:52.640 --> 0:34:55.279
<v Speaker 3>I think I was feeling really lost about what I

0:34:55.320 --> 0:34:58.560
<v Speaker 3>wanted to do in my life. I remember, I feel

0:34:58.560 --> 0:35:01.160
<v Speaker 3>like I didn't have any goals to work for. So

0:35:01.360 --> 0:35:05.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm turning twenty one. I've been doing community college and

0:35:06.000 --> 0:35:09.000
<v Speaker 3>I honestly just did that because it was expected to

0:35:09.239 --> 0:35:12.719
<v Speaker 3>from my family, and I told myself I wanted to

0:35:12.719 --> 0:35:16.360
<v Speaker 3>get in psychology, but that shit is kind of way like,

0:35:16.680 --> 0:35:20.160
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to do school. So now I'm pursuing

0:35:20.320 --> 0:35:24.360
<v Speaker 3>audio engineering and music because that's much true passion.

0:35:25.360 --> 0:35:28.719
<v Speaker 1>Very cool and yeah, I mean, are you? Are you

0:35:28.840 --> 0:35:32.320
<v Speaker 1>feeling like you have more direction now.

0:35:33.600 --> 0:35:36.560
<v Speaker 3>I do. I found like this perfect trade school that's

0:35:36.560 --> 0:35:40.120
<v Speaker 3>only like forty minutes away, and it's everything I like

0:35:40.280 --> 0:35:44.520
<v Speaker 3>want and need for, like a day job and audio engineering.

0:35:44.800 --> 0:35:46.600
<v Speaker 3>And also it's like I can learn to be a

0:35:46.680 --> 0:35:50.520
<v Speaker 3>self producing artist too and use all their fancy equipment.

0:35:51.560 --> 0:35:52.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah cool?

0:35:52.200 --> 0:35:52.640
<v Speaker 5>Is that? Are you?

0:35:52.760 --> 0:35:55.160
<v Speaker 1>Is that like the uh the ultimate call? Like a

0:35:55.280 --> 0:35:58.239
<v Speaker 1>day job in some form of audio engineering, and then

0:35:58.400 --> 0:36:00.680
<v Speaker 1>the dream is to be like a artists.

0:36:01.880 --> 0:36:05.800
<v Speaker 3>The dream for me honestly lies in singing. I feel

0:36:05.800 --> 0:36:10.799
<v Speaker 3>like being more like an artist and not necessarily being famous,

0:36:10.840 --> 0:36:14.600
<v Speaker 3>but being able to just do that as much as

0:36:14.600 --> 0:36:16.879
<v Speaker 3>I can and getting paid at the same time. Would

0:36:16.880 --> 0:36:20.080
<v Speaker 3>be great. So yeah, that is the true dream. Like

0:36:20.239 --> 0:36:23.760
<v Speaker 3>I get jealous every time I, you know, be someone

0:36:23.880 --> 0:36:26.640
<v Speaker 3>like what's like a recent artist, like you know, just

0:36:26.680 --> 0:36:30.000
<v Speaker 3>like these pop stars that don't even they don't touch

0:36:30.040 --> 0:36:33.640
<v Speaker 3>their instruments. Their producers and audio engineers make the music

0:36:33.719 --> 0:36:36.520
<v Speaker 3>for them. But I want to be able to thing,

0:36:36.800 --> 0:36:41.440
<v Speaker 3>play every instrument, produce it all, mix it. So yeah,

0:36:41.480 --> 0:36:43.160
<v Speaker 3>that is the ultimate goal right now.

0:36:43.960 --> 0:36:47.680
<v Speaker 1>I like it. I like it. That's cool. It's nice.

0:36:47.680 --> 0:36:50.440
<v Speaker 1>It's nice to you know. For as jealous as you

0:36:50.520 --> 0:36:55.799
<v Speaker 1>may feel about those people. Look, it's nice to have

0:36:55.880 --> 0:36:59.960
<v Speaker 1>something that you want and care about doing. It's value.

0:37:00.200 --> 0:37:04.480
<v Speaker 1>It's a diamond to have a dream. I know that

0:37:04.560 --> 0:37:07.560
<v Speaker 1>sounds like something from a Disney movie, but I really

0:37:07.600 --> 0:37:11.360
<v Speaker 1>mean it. I think it's it's nice to have something,

0:37:11.360 --> 0:37:15.480
<v Speaker 1>to be excited at the potential of a thing that

0:37:15.520 --> 0:37:19.880
<v Speaker 1>could happen, or or I mean most but actually I

0:37:19.880 --> 0:37:21.840
<v Speaker 1>mean look, most of all. Most of all, most of

0:37:21.880 --> 0:37:25.040
<v Speaker 1>all is I'm excited for you because you seem like

0:37:25.080 --> 0:37:27.839
<v Speaker 1>you actually just fucking want to make the music, which

0:37:27.880 --> 0:37:30.080
<v Speaker 1>is the most important part.

0:37:31.320 --> 0:37:34.319
<v Speaker 3>Okay, I will say it's not all like paradise. I'm

0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:40.640
<v Speaker 3>having issues finding original sound and original melodies because I'm

0:37:40.760 --> 0:37:45.160
<v Speaker 3>so used to singing everyone else's music and songs and covers.

0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:49.120
<v Speaker 3>So that's the one thing that scares me is like, shit, wait,

0:37:49.480 --> 0:37:52.280
<v Speaker 3>what if I like, I can teach myself every instrument,

0:37:52.920 --> 0:37:56.879
<v Speaker 3>but how do I compose something like I've never heard

0:37:56.920 --> 0:37:59.280
<v Speaker 3>of or someone like someone else has never heard of before?

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:00.360
<v Speaker 5>M hm.

0:38:00.920 --> 0:38:03.280
<v Speaker 3>So that's the scary parts. But I think it's something

0:38:03.320 --> 0:38:05.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna have to learn along the.

0:38:05.000 --> 0:38:05.719
<v Speaker 5>Way, you know.

0:38:08.120 --> 0:38:11.080
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, part of me scared. Part of me feels

0:38:11.200 --> 0:38:15.200
<v Speaker 3>I get like imposter syndrome, like oh, maybe I'm I'm

0:38:15.239 --> 0:38:18.160
<v Speaker 3>not as good as I want to or hope I

0:38:18.200 --> 0:38:23.480
<v Speaker 3>am and will be. But you know, I don't want

0:38:23.480 --> 0:38:27.040
<v Speaker 3>to be like my father's like, oh, you should get

0:38:27.040 --> 0:38:31.200
<v Speaker 3>into medical field and you know, make uh you know

0:38:31.400 --> 0:38:34.759
<v Speaker 3>this much and work in fluorescent lighting twelve hours a day.

0:38:34.800 --> 0:38:37.520
<v Speaker 3>Like that sounds like I would rather kill myself.

0:38:38.719 --> 0:38:38.959
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:38:39.200 --> 0:38:42.080
<v Speaker 1>No, yeah, being in med school and working under fluscent

0:38:42.200 --> 0:38:45.800
<v Speaker 1>lighting sucks. I mean, look, some people, well I'm glad

0:38:45.800 --> 0:38:48.640
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't. I'm glad not everyone thinks that it sucks,

0:38:48.680 --> 0:38:51.120
<v Speaker 1>because if everyone thought it sucks, then there there'd be

0:38:51.160 --> 0:38:58.839
<v Speaker 1>no doctors when that would be bad. But yeah, yeah, dude. Look,

0:38:58.880 --> 0:39:00.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm good, you get I'm glad to hear that you

0:39:00.600 --> 0:39:02.440
<v Speaker 1>let you have a thing you want to do, you

0:39:02.480 --> 0:39:05.680
<v Speaker 1>have some sort of direction, you know. I I just

0:39:05.719 --> 0:39:08.759
<v Speaker 1>for I guess for anyone listening to this, and and

0:39:09.160 --> 0:39:12.200
<v Speaker 1>you're right. I did say earlier that I'm not uh

0:39:13.000 --> 0:39:17.480
<v Speaker 1>uh uh you know, I'm a little burnt out on advice,

0:39:17.680 --> 0:39:20.120
<v Speaker 1>but I I feel like I've just I've learned a

0:39:20.239 --> 0:39:27.160
<v Speaker 1>couple fucking things, and one of them is like that

0:39:27.160 --> 0:39:33.080
<v Speaker 1>that just having a some semblance of a sense of

0:39:33.200 --> 0:39:36.960
<v Speaker 1>direction of a thing you want to do is is

0:39:37.080 --> 0:39:40.920
<v Speaker 1>where the real beauty lies. I think the beauty lies

0:39:40.920 --> 0:39:44.279
<v Speaker 1>in that and in enjoying the work more than it

0:39:44.320 --> 0:39:50.480
<v Speaker 1>does in uh any kind of material success, right because

0:39:50.760 --> 0:39:55.280
<v Speaker 1>because your yeah, because your material success is everything leads

0:39:55.320 --> 0:39:58.720
<v Speaker 1>back to the actual work of whatever it is you're doing.

0:39:58.800 --> 0:40:02.120
<v Speaker 1>So you can have material success and it's it's it's

0:40:02.160 --> 0:40:06.279
<v Speaker 1>it's great, and it's it can be beautiful, but uh,

0:40:06.600 --> 0:40:09.960
<v Speaker 1>it all comes back to you know, the work. I mean,

0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:14.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean in my life, it's like, uh, you know, whatever,

0:40:14.360 --> 0:40:17.120
<v Speaker 1>I go to interview Doja Cat and I do a

0:40:17.239 --> 0:40:21.440
<v Speaker 1>vice documentary and I tour Australia and you know, I

0:40:21.440 --> 0:40:25.600
<v Speaker 1>got all these cool things. They all lead me right

0:40:25.640 --> 0:40:31.840
<v Speaker 1>back here talking to you doing the work of making

0:40:32.000 --> 0:40:35.439
<v Speaker 1>the fucking podcasts and whatnot. You know what I mean.

0:40:35.560 --> 0:40:39.239
<v Speaker 1>So it all, whatever, it all, it all, it all

0:40:39.320 --> 0:40:42.680
<v Speaker 1>leads back to the work. So if all you have

0:40:42.840 --> 0:40:46.240
<v Speaker 1>is the work and you don't have the material success

0:40:46.280 --> 0:40:50.520
<v Speaker 1>that you imagine, it's the same fucking thing because the

0:40:50.520 --> 0:40:53.400
<v Speaker 1>material success you imagine leads you right back to the work.

0:40:54.040 --> 0:40:56.719
<v Speaker 1>Right Like you you're always you're you're you're in this.

0:40:56.880 --> 0:41:00.800
<v Speaker 1>You're whether you're the most whether you're fucking making music

0:41:01.040 --> 0:41:05.840
<v Speaker 1>in your bedroom for zero people, or you're Kendrick Lamar.

0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:09.360
<v Speaker 1>You know, you're you're in the studio. You're both in

0:41:09.400 --> 0:41:13.880
<v Speaker 1>the studio. You're both dragon shit around a fucking timeline

0:41:13.920 --> 0:41:18.400
<v Speaker 1>on your computer and coming up with stuff. So that's

0:41:18.719 --> 0:41:20.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's where everything is.

0:41:21.719 --> 0:41:25.959
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, definitely. And I've been watching so I've been doing

0:41:25.960 --> 0:41:29.160
<v Speaker 3>like this thing called mindful doom scrolling. O good, but

0:41:29.480 --> 0:41:33.359
<v Speaker 3>I've trained. Here's it sounds bench. But before it used

0:41:33.400 --> 0:41:36.000
<v Speaker 3>to be cross his garbage that I would forget about.

0:41:36.320 --> 0:41:40.000
<v Speaker 3>But now I switched over to like YouTube shorts because

0:41:40.000 --> 0:41:42.799
<v Speaker 3>it's tailored to all of my you know, like of

0:41:42.840 --> 0:41:48.360
<v Speaker 3>a music theory artist interviews, and I really like Tyler

0:41:48.560 --> 0:41:52.919
<v Speaker 3>the creator. He is saying things like, oh shit, wait,

0:41:53.200 --> 0:41:56.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm going blank. He just has really good advice. It's

0:41:56.680 --> 0:41:59.239
<v Speaker 3>just like, what are you scared of? Go for it?

0:41:59.560 --> 0:42:04.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh one interview? I really like he's like he like

0:42:04.960 --> 0:42:08.560
<v Speaker 3>he put it where no one knows what you're capable

0:42:08.600 --> 0:42:10.960
<v Speaker 3>of except for you, Like, no one knows what you're

0:42:11.000 --> 0:42:13.880
<v Speaker 3>gonna be doing in the next five years. Everyone just

0:42:14.520 --> 0:42:17.560
<v Speaker 3>knows you from what you've already done. So he's telling

0:42:17.560 --> 0:42:19.839
<v Speaker 3>everyone at nineteen, I'm gonna get a Grammy. I'm gonna

0:42:19.840 --> 0:42:22.239
<v Speaker 3>get a Grammy. And they're like, no, you're not, like

0:42:22.320 --> 0:42:25.359
<v Speaker 3>you're just you're just a kid. You're like shut up.

0:42:25.800 --> 0:42:30.359
<v Speaker 3>And he was so confident he tweeted it like forever ago,

0:42:30.640 --> 0:42:33.640
<v Speaker 3>and then retweeted it when he won his Grammy, like

0:42:34.480 --> 0:42:36.960
<v Speaker 3>he was just like so inspiring, and it's like I'm

0:42:37.560 --> 0:42:39.879
<v Speaker 3>now telling everyone like, hey, by the way, I'm gonna

0:42:39.920 --> 0:42:43.960
<v Speaker 3>want to get Grammy, whether that's in singing or producing.

0:42:44.360 --> 0:42:46.640
<v Speaker 1>Why wait, wait wait wait, why wait Hola HeLa, Why

0:42:46.680 --> 0:42:49.799
<v Speaker 1>are you telling everyone you're gonna win a Grammy Because

0:42:49.800 --> 0:42:50.680
<v Speaker 1>it's gonna.

0:42:50.440 --> 0:42:53.000
<v Speaker 3>Happen I it's like it's you hold on.

0:42:52.960 --> 0:42:55.440
<v Speaker 1>Hold on, hold on, hold I just hold on, hold on.

0:42:55.719 --> 0:42:58.279
<v Speaker 1>I just want to make sure you heard everything. I

0:42:58.800 --> 0:43:00.440
<v Speaker 1>just want to make sure you heard the rant that

0:43:00.480 --> 0:43:02.840
<v Speaker 1>I went on. Did you hear the rant I just

0:43:02.880 --> 0:43:03.279
<v Speaker 1>went on?

0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:07.400
<v Speaker 3>I yes. But it's also a part of me is

0:43:07.480 --> 0:43:12.839
<v Speaker 3>like I would rather get my hopes ohs than think

0:43:12.920 --> 0:43:14.640
<v Speaker 3>the opposite, like I'm never gonna.

0:43:14.400 --> 0:43:17.160
<v Speaker 1>Win a gram Okay, all right, you know what? You

0:43:17.239 --> 0:43:19.799
<v Speaker 1>know what I you know what? I I hope you

0:43:19.800 --> 0:43:22.279
<v Speaker 1>win a Grammy. I hope you win a Grammy. And

0:43:22.320 --> 0:43:25.000
<v Speaker 1>if and if the idea that someday you may win

0:43:25.040 --> 0:43:28.279
<v Speaker 1>a Grammy makes you feel good and makes you want

0:43:28.320 --> 0:43:31.440
<v Speaker 1>to work and do your thing, then uh, then then

0:43:31.520 --> 0:43:34.120
<v Speaker 1>please continue to tell people that you're gonna get a Grammy.

0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:38.000
<v Speaker 3>Well maybe I shouldn't. Actually, I'm taking it back because

0:43:38.200 --> 0:43:41.560
<v Speaker 3>I've recently looked up the list of artists who hasn't

0:43:42.360 --> 0:43:45.080
<v Speaker 3>don't have Grammys, and Nicki minaj it does not have

0:43:45.120 --> 0:43:49.000
<v Speaker 3>a Grammy, and I think she should, but maybe she

0:43:49.080 --> 0:43:50.280
<v Speaker 3>just hasn't got one yet.

0:43:50.800 --> 0:43:56.040
<v Speaker 1>Well yeah, yeah, but the Grammys are just like yeah,

0:43:56.080 --> 0:43:59.200
<v Speaker 1>but the Grammys are like that's yeah, but that's all bullshit.

0:43:59.320 --> 0:44:02.640
<v Speaker 1>That's like whatever. That's like ten people who like think

0:44:02.680 --> 0:44:06.000
<v Speaker 1>that they're important enough that they're you know, they matter,

0:44:06.160 --> 0:44:08.080
<v Speaker 1>but they don't. Yeah, who gives a shit about the

0:44:08.120 --> 0:44:13.279
<v Speaker 1>fucking Grammys. Shit, it's just a but it's just a

0:44:13.320 --> 0:44:16.839
<v Speaker 1>bunch of people. The Grammys and the Oscar these are

0:44:17.120 --> 0:44:20.520
<v Speaker 1>these are like a group of like ten fucking people

0:44:21.000 --> 0:44:28.000
<v Speaker 1>who have successfully convinced the masses that their elite opinions

0:44:28.040 --> 0:44:34.400
<v Speaker 1>on things matter and create reality and if it's complete

0:44:34.480 --> 0:44:38.959
<v Speaker 1>and total bullshit and doesn't matter at all. I really

0:44:39.040 --> 0:44:41.040
<v Speaker 1>hope that you, you know what, I hope. I hope

0:44:41.440 --> 0:44:46.160
<v Speaker 1>that you can make fifty thousand dollars a year making music.

0:44:47.040 --> 0:44:51.440
<v Speaker 1>That's what I hope for you. I hope you I hope,

0:44:51.560 --> 0:44:54.160
<v Speaker 1>I hope you can. I hope you can achieve higher

0:44:54.200 --> 0:44:56.600
<v Speaker 1>than that. But my baseline hope for you is that

0:44:56.680 --> 0:44:59.800
<v Speaker 1>you make fifty thousand dollars a year making music and

0:44:59.840 --> 0:45:02.200
<v Speaker 1>you and you don't have to work at Chipotle, and

0:45:02.239 --> 0:45:04.319
<v Speaker 1>you can pay off your student debt, and you can

0:45:04.360 --> 0:45:06.719
<v Speaker 1>make the songs you really want to make that make

0:45:06.760 --> 0:45:08.719
<v Speaker 1>you happy to make. That's what I hope for you,

0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:10.080
<v Speaker 1>more than you getting a Grammy.

0:45:11.760 --> 0:45:16.920
<v Speaker 3>You know what, Yeah, shit, you're good, dude, are you?

0:45:16.960 --> 0:45:18.080
<v Speaker 3>Are you a therapist?

0:45:18.440 --> 0:45:23.359
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm a crazy person, but I think about these

0:45:23.400 --> 0:45:25.359
<v Speaker 1>things a lot. I do. I think about these things

0:45:25.400 --> 0:45:26.000
<v Speaker 1>a lot.

0:45:27.080 --> 0:45:30.280
<v Speaker 3>You're right. I think I'm definitely setting those realistic goals

0:45:30.320 --> 0:45:33.400
<v Speaker 3>while having, like you know, wishful thinking.

0:45:35.200 --> 0:45:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah again, if your wishful thinking makes you feel happy

0:45:40.600 --> 0:45:44.120
<v Speaker 1>and motivated, then God bless you. What's your name again?

0:45:45.840 --> 0:45:47.560
<v Speaker 3>My name is Shelley, Shelly.

0:45:48.400 --> 0:45:50.560
<v Speaker 1>Uh fucking Shelley. Where can we find you?

0:45:52.960 --> 0:45:56.520
<v Speaker 3>I don't that's my thing. I don't have any like

0:45:56.560 --> 0:45:57.600
<v Speaker 3>an online presence.

0:45:58.040 --> 0:45:59.960
<v Speaker 1>You want to you want to win a Grammy?

0:46:00.320 --> 0:46:00.560
<v Speaker 5>You don't?

0:46:00.760 --> 0:46:07.280
<v Speaker 1>Ah? My god? All right, well go make one. Goddamn Okay,

0:46:07.400 --> 0:46:07.920
<v Speaker 1>here I.

0:46:07.880 --> 0:46:11.000
<v Speaker 3>Will call and, like you know, I'll have more of

0:46:11.239 --> 0:46:13.520
<v Speaker 3>I was gonna have a gig, but I had to

0:46:13.520 --> 0:46:16.840
<v Speaker 3>cancel it because I was washing and someone punched me

0:46:16.880 --> 0:46:20.080
<v Speaker 3>in the throat and I can't really sing right now.

0:46:20.520 --> 0:46:21.239
<v Speaker 3>It's getting better.

0:46:21.800 --> 0:46:24.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's called fucking around and finding out.

0:46:25.040 --> 0:46:27.719
<v Speaker 3>No, I didn't want to wash. My friend pushed me

0:46:28.000 --> 0:46:31.719
<v Speaker 3>in and I'll oh, no too much. Oh really it

0:46:31.760 --> 0:46:35.480
<v Speaker 3>was like a really shitty venue and it smelled bad

0:46:35.560 --> 0:46:38.160
<v Speaker 3>and it was actually I had a really horrible week,

0:46:38.239 --> 0:46:40.799
<v Speaker 3>but now it's good because I was like, I had

0:46:40.800 --> 0:46:43.719
<v Speaker 3>to cancel my first music gig. They were gonna pay

0:46:43.719 --> 0:46:48.520
<v Speaker 3>me like three twenty five for three hours of singing,

0:46:48.640 --> 0:46:50.280
<v Speaker 3>and I'm like, dude, I can do that.

0:46:50.280 --> 0:46:51.040
<v Speaker 1>That's pretty good.

0:46:51.280 --> 0:46:54.480
<v Speaker 3>But so that's the thing that's making depress right now.

0:46:54.520 --> 0:46:58.480
<v Speaker 3>I can't sing and I'm a phenomenal singer. Like so

0:46:58.840 --> 0:47:01.320
<v Speaker 3>it just knows. Thing just kind of makes me like diference.

0:47:01.360 --> 0:47:03.239
<v Speaker 3>But it's like, just for now, just for now, we're

0:47:03.239 --> 0:47:06.640
<v Speaker 3>taking a break, Shelley.

0:47:06.480 --> 0:47:07.560
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything you want to say to the people

0:47:07.560 --> 0:47:08.440
<v Speaker 1>of the computer before we go?

0:47:10.239 --> 0:47:15.080
<v Speaker 3>I just want to say thank you for being you,

0:47:15.520 --> 0:47:16.560
<v Speaker 3>and stay.

0:47:16.360 --> 0:47:23.520
<v Speaker 1>Green, God bless Afghanistan and talk to you later. Shelley.

0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:26.960
<v Speaker 3>All right, I'll have an interview with you when I'm

0:47:27.040 --> 0:47:28.279
<v Speaker 3>rich and famous one day.

0:47:28.719 --> 0:47:29.319
<v Speaker 1>See you later.

0:47:30.719 --> 0:47:31.080
<v Speaker 2>Bye.

0:47:33.520 --> 0:47:35.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel like that thing she said at the end

0:47:35.200 --> 0:47:39.280
<v Speaker 1>indicated that she I don't think she listened to anything

0:47:39.280 --> 0:47:41.560
<v Speaker 1>that I said. But also, I'll you know what, I

0:47:41.600 --> 0:47:43.120
<v Speaker 1>don't think she listened to anything that I said, but

0:47:43.160 --> 0:47:45.600
<v Speaker 1>that's okay. I also think I'm a total I also

0:47:45.719 --> 0:47:51.239
<v Speaker 1>genuinely I think I'm a total bummer. Yeah, that's why

0:47:51.239 --> 0:47:54.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't like giving advice. Is that's what's why, because

0:47:54.040 --> 0:47:59.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm just a bummer. Maybe she totally should aspire to

0:47:59.320 --> 0:48:02.839
<v Speaker 1>win a Grammy. Maybe I'm just being a bummer and

0:48:02.880 --> 0:48:08.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm wrong, and you should want to like, you know,

0:48:08.680 --> 0:48:12.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, big dreams are good. Maybe I'm just jealous.

0:48:12.440 --> 0:48:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I'm jealous of her. Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm

0:48:15.600 --> 0:48:19.279
<v Speaker 1>maybe I used to have I used to wanna. Uh well,

0:48:19.320 --> 0:48:21.400
<v Speaker 1>actually I don't know. I mean, I think I accomplished

0:48:21.440 --> 0:48:23.840
<v Speaker 1>a lot of the things I used to wanna. I

0:48:23.920 --> 0:48:28.239
<v Speaker 1>used to wanna accomplish, you know, And so I feel

0:48:28.280 --> 0:48:33.680
<v Speaker 1>like I've seen what that looks like up close, and

0:48:33.920 --> 0:48:39.719
<v Speaker 1>it's different than what it looked like from afar, and

0:48:40.040 --> 0:48:42.239
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I've kind of learned a little bit.

0:48:42.880 --> 0:48:45.040
<v Speaker 1>And so that's why I settle the ship that I said.

0:48:45.239 --> 0:48:50.520
<v Speaker 1>But I also, I think being I also, i've become

0:48:50.800 --> 0:48:55.560
<v Speaker 1>less ambitious over the years. And it's actually one of

0:48:55.600 --> 0:48:58.680
<v Speaker 1>my problems that I've become a little bit less ambitious

0:48:58.680 --> 0:49:03.080
<v Speaker 1>over the years. I'd like to be more ambitious. I've

0:49:03.120 --> 0:49:08.000
<v Speaker 1>been pretty I mean, I started making crap a long

0:49:08.080 --> 0:49:11.120
<v Speaker 1>time ago. I've been making stuff and having ambitions for

0:49:11.160 --> 0:49:19.480
<v Speaker 1>like fourteen years and yeah, maybe I was just jealous

0:49:19.520 --> 0:49:21.719
<v Speaker 1>of her ambition. I wanted to just zap it out

0:49:21.719 --> 0:49:26.160
<v Speaker 1>of her. But simultaneously, I also think I have a

0:49:26.200 --> 0:49:30.399
<v Speaker 1>little bit of perspective on some of this stuff enough

0:49:30.440 --> 0:49:33.360
<v Speaker 1>to that I that I believe. I believe in everything

0:49:33.360 --> 0:49:37.399
<v Speaker 1>I said. But yeah, whatever, I maybe I just want

0:49:37.400 --> 0:49:45.959
<v Speaker 1>to Grammy. Maybe that's it all from right? Hello, Hello, Hey,

0:49:46.000 --> 0:49:46.440
<v Speaker 1>what's up?

0:49:47.880 --> 0:49:51.120
<v Speaker 6>So Mike picking anything up in the back?

0:49:51.840 --> 0:49:54.439
<v Speaker 1>Uh you are you on like speakerphone or like, what's

0:49:54.520 --> 0:49:55.560
<v Speaker 1>up with you?

0:49:55.600 --> 0:49:55.640
<v Speaker 5>No?

0:49:55.719 --> 0:49:56.840
<v Speaker 6>I'm on Google Boys.

0:49:57.000 --> 0:49:58.719
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, all right, all right, all right, So and

0:49:58.760 --> 0:50:00.719
<v Speaker 1>you're holding your phone up your thing.

0:50:01.960 --> 0:50:02.680
<v Speaker 6>No, I'm on PC.

0:50:03.400 --> 0:50:05.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you're in like a microphone. All right, we

0:50:05.239 --> 0:50:10.520
<v Speaker 1>can check chack check. Can you guys hear this? Guy?

0:50:11.719 --> 0:50:13.160
<v Speaker 6>It's exactly like a phone call?

0:50:13.560 --> 0:50:15.440
<v Speaker 1>All right, all right, you guys can hear this.

0:50:15.600 --> 0:50:18.040
<v Speaker 4>I've done this before. I've called again. I used SETH

0:50:18.120 --> 0:50:18.600
<v Speaker 4>last time.

0:50:19.320 --> 0:50:20.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh oh wait, so we talked before?

0:50:21.800 --> 0:50:22.160
<v Speaker 6>Yes?

0:50:22.800 --> 0:50:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, all right, well hold on, all right, hold on?

0:50:28.680 --> 0:50:30.440
<v Speaker 1>Actually you know what fuck it? I usually cut this

0:50:30.520 --> 0:50:32.840
<v Speaker 1>part of the podcast out where we're doing the audio

0:50:33.000 --> 0:50:35.120
<v Speaker 1>check stuff, but let's just leave it in for now.

0:50:35.200 --> 0:50:37.799
<v Speaker 1>Let's just leave it in. It's part of it's part

0:50:37.800 --> 0:50:41.360
<v Speaker 1>of the lore of this conversation. Okay. So we've talked before,

0:50:41.400 --> 0:50:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Seth m okay, okay, so hold on, I'm gonna give

0:50:45.560 --> 0:50:46.239
<v Speaker 1>some context.

0:50:47.200 --> 0:50:50.000
<v Speaker 6>Can I have a request though? Can you not put

0:50:50.040 --> 0:50:53.360
<v Speaker 6>it in the podcast? No? The Spotify podcast? Please?

0:50:53.760 --> 0:50:53.920
<v Speaker 5>No?

0:50:54.080 --> 0:50:55.600
<v Speaker 6>Wow, rather listen to it?

0:50:56.000 --> 0:50:59.480
<v Speaker 1>Uh no, you don't want to. If you don't want

0:50:59.480 --> 0:51:01.600
<v Speaker 1>to be in the pod cast, then I have to

0:51:01.600 --> 0:51:02.799
<v Speaker 1>hang up on you unfortunately.

0:51:03.800 --> 0:51:05.520
<v Speaker 6>Okay, No, no, it's fine, it's fine.

0:51:05.920 --> 0:51:08.880
<v Speaker 1>All right, Well, I'll talk to you again soon. Seth.

0:51:10.120 --> 0:51:11.720
<v Speaker 6>No, no, no, no, no, just put it in the podcast.

0:51:11.880 --> 0:51:14.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay. You you're okay with this being in the podcast?

0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:14.439
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

0:51:14.520 --> 0:51:18.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, discle Are you all right?

0:51:18.680 --> 0:51:20.680
<v Speaker 1>Are you? Hola HeLa? Are you? Are you sure? Because

0:51:20.719 --> 0:51:24.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't if we have this conversation, I'm fine and we.

0:51:24.880 --> 0:51:27.960
<v Speaker 4>Just if we with you, you could cut it. But

0:51:28.680 --> 0:51:29.759
<v Speaker 4>you know I'm fine with it being in that.

0:51:30.000 --> 0:51:32.120
<v Speaker 1>Well, I only here's look, I only want I only

0:51:32.239 --> 0:51:34.839
<v Speaker 1>I only want you to do this if you want

0:51:34.840 --> 0:51:35.960
<v Speaker 1>to be in the podcast.

0:51:37.160 --> 0:51:39.080
<v Speaker 4>Well no, no, that's the thing is I'm fifty to

0:51:39.120 --> 0:51:46.000
<v Speaker 4>fifty over it. So I'm comfortable with it being online inaccessible?

0:51:46.200 --> 0:51:47.839
<v Speaker 1>Are you one hundred percent short?

0:51:48.000 --> 0:51:48.800
<v Speaker 6>Yes? Yes?

0:51:49.480 --> 0:51:53.399
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well I did we I this is recorded confirmation.

0:51:54.120 --> 0:51:56.040
<v Speaker 1>You are one hundred percent short?

0:51:56.280 --> 0:51:56.360
<v Speaker 6>Ye?

0:51:56.560 --> 0:51:58.200
<v Speaker 1>You want this to be in the podcast?

0:51:58.239 --> 0:51:58.279
<v Speaker 5>You?

0:51:58.480 --> 0:52:02.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm asking you three times? Mm hmm you sure?

0:52:04.239 --> 0:52:04.560
<v Speaker 6>Yes?

0:52:05.120 --> 0:52:08.160
<v Speaker 1>All right, we're leaving all this in. This is all well,

0:52:08.200 --> 0:52:10.879
<v Speaker 1>this is we're not cutting out the audio checks. We're

0:52:10.880 --> 0:52:12.880
<v Speaker 1>not cutting out this. This is all staying in.

0:52:13.960 --> 0:52:15.640
<v Speaker 6>Whole thing. Whole thing, all right.

0:52:17.400 --> 0:52:22.000
<v Speaker 1>So for some context, is I remember you, You're you're eighteen.

0:52:21.680 --> 0:52:25.000
<v Speaker 6>Right, yeah? Do you want me to do a recap?

0:52:25.040 --> 0:52:27.239
<v Speaker 1>I can, No, I'll do I'll do the recap. So

0:52:27.280 --> 0:52:32.040
<v Speaker 1>you're eighteen, and you were talking about last time we talked.

0:52:32.160 --> 0:52:35.400
<v Speaker 1>You talked about how you were gonna go on it.

0:52:35.480 --> 0:52:38.920
<v Speaker 1>You wanted to go on a trip, right, yeah, but

0:52:39.080 --> 0:52:43.319
<v Speaker 1>your friends weren't weren't gonna go with you, and you

0:52:43.320 --> 0:52:45.280
<v Speaker 1>weren't gonna go You didn't want to go without your friends.

0:52:45.960 --> 0:52:48.080
<v Speaker 1>And I was telling you that you should just go anyway,

0:52:48.800 --> 0:52:51.000
<v Speaker 1>and I was yelling at you a lot, and I

0:52:51.040 --> 0:52:52.799
<v Speaker 1>was talking over you a lot, and I got a

0:52:52.840 --> 0:52:55.520
<v Speaker 1>lot of comments on our conversation.

0:52:56.120 --> 0:52:58.359
<v Speaker 6>That's actually my brother texted me about it. That's why

0:52:58.360 --> 0:52:59.239
<v Speaker 6>I know he listened to it.

0:52:59.280 --> 0:53:01.680
<v Speaker 1>I got a lot of comments on our conversation from

0:53:01.719 --> 0:53:05.359
<v Speaker 1>people saying that I yelled at you too much and

0:53:05.400 --> 0:53:08.120
<v Speaker 1>I talked over you too much. Did you see those?

0:53:10.040 --> 0:53:12.480
<v Speaker 6>Also? I also know there were comments.

0:53:12.680 --> 0:53:15.440
<v Speaker 1>I also thought I was fine. I also I disagreed

0:53:15.480 --> 0:53:17.400
<v Speaker 1>with those comments. I felt as though I yelled at

0:53:17.440 --> 0:53:22.040
<v Speaker 1>you an appropriate amount, and I and I that was.

0:53:22.000 --> 0:53:24.120
<v Speaker 6>All over the place. I actually have notes this time.

0:53:24.440 --> 0:53:27.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't regret yelling at you every I I meant

0:53:27.160 --> 0:53:34.920
<v Speaker 1>every word that I yelled at your face. What are

0:53:34.960 --> 0:53:35.400
<v Speaker 1>your notes?

0:53:35.480 --> 0:53:35.680
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:53:35.719 --> 0:53:38.040
<v Speaker 1>Go ahead, all right, So.

0:53:39.600 --> 0:53:45.800
<v Speaker 4>The context when I called last time, right, some dude

0:53:46.239 --> 0:53:49.279
<v Speaker 4>kind of dropped a nuke on the friend group went

0:53:49.360 --> 0:53:49.719
<v Speaker 4>to ship.

0:53:50.000 --> 0:53:50.759
<v Speaker 6>It's fine now.

0:53:50.880 --> 0:53:54.399
<v Speaker 4>Actually, it's like nothing happened, except he's just not there.

0:53:54.719 --> 0:54:00.319
<v Speaker 4>And it's hilarious because he's now best friends with one

0:54:00.360 --> 0:54:03.359
<v Speaker 4>of our other friends exes and someone else's exes. So

0:54:03.360 --> 0:54:06.439
<v Speaker 4>we call them the Evil League of Exes because they're

0:54:06.440 --> 0:54:09.160
<v Speaker 4>all friends and like two of them are dating.

0:54:09.480 --> 0:54:15.880
<v Speaker 6>It's hilarious. They're like the Evil US. So funny but irrelevant.

0:54:16.960 --> 0:54:19.279
<v Speaker 1>So Seth, So Seth, Seth, let me ask you this,

0:54:19.400 --> 0:54:21.279
<v Speaker 1>what's going. What's going on with you? Are you going

0:54:21.360 --> 0:54:21.960
<v Speaker 1>to take the trip?

0:54:23.520 --> 0:54:30.160
<v Speaker 6>Uh? Probably not? Actually, well why not? Uh, I'm gonna

0:54:30.160 --> 0:54:31.040
<v Speaker 6>wait till next year.

0:54:31.480 --> 0:54:33.000
<v Speaker 1>What's next? What's happening next year?

0:54:34.800 --> 0:54:35.080
<v Speaker 4>Uh?

0:54:35.239 --> 0:54:35.319
<v Speaker 5>No?

0:54:35.440 --> 0:54:36.200
<v Speaker 6>Money right now?

0:54:36.400 --> 0:54:36.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay?

0:54:37.320 --> 0:54:40.400
<v Speaker 6>All right? And also my friends are.

0:54:42.040 --> 0:54:44.160
<v Speaker 4>I'd want I'd be willing to wait for them because

0:54:44.160 --> 0:54:45.480
<v Speaker 4>it's they're both coming.

0:54:45.680 --> 0:54:48.920
<v Speaker 1>I didn't I thought, seth. I yelled at you about

0:54:48.920 --> 0:54:52.920
<v Speaker 1>this already. You want me to yell at you again? No? No,

0:54:54.040 --> 0:54:58.000
<v Speaker 1>all right, Well but well listen, Well, well let me

0:54:58.040 --> 0:54:59.600
<v Speaker 1>ask you this man. You called back in again, and

0:54:59.600 --> 0:55:02.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm curre serious. Uh why I assume you had a

0:55:02.360 --> 0:55:03.160
<v Speaker 1>specific reason.

0:55:04.560 --> 0:55:06.319
<v Speaker 6>Uh, just kind of.

0:55:06.280 --> 0:55:10.920
<v Speaker 4>An update, because like, my first semester of classes bombed,

0:55:10.920 --> 0:55:14.440
<v Speaker 4>it completely bombed. It past my physics class.

0:55:14.680 --> 0:55:19.560
<v Speaker 6>Mm hmmm, that's it. It's crazy. So I'm trying not

0:55:19.640 --> 0:55:21.920
<v Speaker 6>to do that again. And then.

0:55:24.000 --> 0:55:29.080
<v Speaker 4>My other friend group went to ship. Actually, uh, the

0:55:29.120 --> 0:55:31.160
<v Speaker 4>other one's completely fine. Then the other one just like

0:55:33.080 --> 0:55:38.040
<v Speaker 4>exact same thing, but it's online, so it's like not

0:55:38.160 --> 0:55:42.279
<v Speaker 4>as serious, but like talk to him daily for a

0:55:42.320 --> 0:55:43.239
<v Speaker 4>few years, so.

0:55:44.040 --> 0:55:51.359
<v Speaker 6>It sounds just like nah, whatever, Okay, trying to put

0:55:51.360 --> 0:55:52.400
<v Speaker 6>together my notes.

0:55:53.360 --> 0:55:54.880
<v Speaker 1>Can you know, can you know if very you have

0:55:54.920 --> 0:55:58.080
<v Speaker 1>not you have notes, right, mm hmmm are they like

0:55:58.120 --> 0:55:59.120
<v Speaker 1>bullet point notes?

0:56:00.239 --> 0:56:00.759
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:56:00.880 --> 0:56:02.880
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Can you just read me off all of the

0:56:02.880 --> 0:56:03.600
<v Speaker 1>bullet points?

0:56:04.600 --> 0:56:09.080
<v Speaker 4>Oh okay, so we got it based off of the

0:56:09.200 --> 0:56:11.040
<v Speaker 4>online friend group event going to.

0:56:11.000 --> 0:56:14.080
<v Speaker 1>Ship could you could you? Could you just read them

0:56:14.080 --> 0:56:17.319
<v Speaker 1>to me like verbatim, like just like no context, read

0:56:17.520 --> 0:56:18.000
<v Speaker 1>the words.

0:56:19.320 --> 0:56:20.640
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, so I have it in three.

0:56:20.920 --> 0:56:24.560
<v Speaker 4>So it's before, uh, the thing that happened, and after

0:56:24.600 --> 0:56:30.520
<v Speaker 4>the before is just recap about all that, and so

0:56:30.560 --> 0:56:33.879
<v Speaker 4>pretty much bullet point one is done. Now we're at

0:56:33.880 --> 0:56:37.600
<v Speaker 4>the online friener bullet point and then we'll get to what.

0:56:37.600 --> 0:56:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Happened after seth Can you read just the piece of paper?

0:56:42.239 --> 0:56:44.680
<v Speaker 1>I just read all the bullet points.

0:56:45.360 --> 0:56:48.600
<v Speaker 4>So number two, I think we kind of covered this

0:56:48.640 --> 0:56:51.360
<v Speaker 4>in the last one. It's like I've been gay the

0:56:51.360 --> 0:56:53.840
<v Speaker 4>whole time, but then there's like this chick that I like,

0:56:54.200 --> 0:56:59.719
<v Speaker 4>So we figured that whole thing outa gay, but I

0:56:59.760 --> 0:57:02.600
<v Speaker 4>can develop feelings for chicks and that has to come

0:57:02.600 --> 0:57:03.160
<v Speaker 4>into play.

0:57:03.360 --> 0:57:06.320
<v Speaker 6>So chicked it have known for a while.

0:57:06.440 --> 0:57:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Right, wait, hold on, what's what? What is this?

0:57:10.719 --> 0:57:13.680
<v Speaker 4>This is the point too, because if I read the

0:57:13.719 --> 0:57:15.840
<v Speaker 4>bullet points and that, yeah.

0:57:15.640 --> 0:57:17.440
<v Speaker 1>But I just I just was I just want you

0:57:17.520 --> 0:57:27.080
<v Speaker 1>to you know what, ah, it works, it works, I promise, Seth,

0:57:27.680 --> 0:57:31.200
<v Speaker 1>you know what. I I just can you just you

0:57:31.360 --> 0:57:32.280
<v Speaker 1>need to me the bullet.

0:57:35.200 --> 0:57:38.840
<v Speaker 6>Uh met The chick bumbled mm hmmm.

0:57:39.200 --> 0:57:41.880
<v Speaker 4>That thing that I just explained and a heart effects

0:57:42.600 --> 0:57:47.600
<v Speaker 4>trying not to fail classes, trying not to fail them,

0:57:47.640 --> 0:57:52.720
<v Speaker 4>trying to go to classes, figuring out how to recover

0:57:52.840 --> 0:57:55.560
<v Speaker 4>from the fumble is what I need the advice on.

0:57:56.000 --> 0:57:57.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, okay, go ahead, all right, let's focus let's

0:57:57.920 --> 0:58:00.880
<v Speaker 1>focus in on that. Let's focus in on that. Let's

0:58:00.880 --> 0:58:03.120
<v Speaker 1>focus in on that. That's that that's gonna be what

0:58:03.160 --> 0:58:07.600
<v Speaker 1>this call is about. Focusing on what, go ahead and

0:58:08.840 --> 0:58:10.400
<v Speaker 1>what is the fumble? What did you fumble?

0:58:10.760 --> 0:58:16.520
<v Speaker 4>So chick known her for like a year, my age online,

0:58:16.720 --> 0:58:22.880
<v Speaker 4>same interests and shit talk like daily VC's ship all that.

0:58:23.280 --> 0:58:27.400
<v Speaker 4>The thing is, she lives like twelve hours away, but

0:58:27.560 --> 0:58:29.880
<v Speaker 4>like I've talked to her mom and she and like

0:58:29.920 --> 0:58:33.440
<v Speaker 4>her dad. I fucking and I've known her for like

0:58:33.680 --> 0:58:39.160
<v Speaker 4>two years almost.

0:58:36.920 --> 0:58:37.080
<v Speaker 5>So.

0:58:39.080 --> 0:58:41.840
<v Speaker 4>Like I was like, oh, she's kind of cool, right,

0:58:42.200 --> 0:58:45.280
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, okay, I like her more than

0:58:45.400 --> 0:58:46.800
<v Speaker 4>just she's my friend.

0:58:46.840 --> 0:58:49.080
<v Speaker 6>And I was like, okay, fuck it, I'll go for

0:58:49.160 --> 0:58:53.280
<v Speaker 6>it instead of just being a little piss whim. Uh

0:58:53.600 --> 0:58:56.520
<v Speaker 6>it was a no. But then she's awkward. And now

0:58:56.920 --> 0:58:57.760
<v Speaker 6>because the whole.

0:58:57.520 --> 0:58:59.880
<v Speaker 4>Thing is like that friend group, I was kind of like, meh,

0:59:01.200 --> 0:59:03.160
<v Speaker 4>she was really the only reason I'm still friends with

0:59:03.200 --> 0:59:03.880
<v Speaker 4>half the people.

0:59:05.120 --> 0:59:09.320
<v Speaker 6>So it's like, do I try to salvage the relationship.

0:59:09.240 --> 0:59:15.680
<v Speaker 1>Or I'm Seth, Seth Seth, I I true, truly, I

0:59:15.720 --> 0:59:20.560
<v Speaker 1>only I'm I'm only acting like this because I'm I'm investing.

0:59:20.560 --> 0:59:25.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I mean this, I'm investing. No, No, I'm

0:59:25.840 --> 0:59:28.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm I am. I am invested in you having

0:59:28.640 --> 0:59:30.960
<v Speaker 1>a good life. I don't know you at all, but

0:59:31.000 --> 0:59:33.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm just like, in this moment that I'm talking to you,

0:59:33.440 --> 0:59:36.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm invested in you having a good life. I'm extremely

0:59:36.280 --> 0:59:42.680
<v Speaker 1>confused at what online Okay, okay, what do you mean

0:59:42.760 --> 0:59:45.160
<v Speaker 1>you fumbled friends with Like okay, all right, you're friends

0:59:45.160 --> 0:59:51.600
<v Speaker 1>with her, she says. She says, No, that's not a fumble.

0:59:51.640 --> 0:59:52.120
<v Speaker 1>That's not a.

0:59:52.080 --> 0:59:53.280
<v Speaker 6>Fumble that I feel like.

0:59:53.680 --> 0:59:58.000
<v Speaker 1>No, No, no, set Seth Seth, not a fumble. It's

0:59:58.040 --> 1:00:01.720
<v Speaker 1>actually uh, it's it's actually a field. It's actually hold

1:00:01.800 --> 1:00:02.880
<v Speaker 1>on it's actually a field.

1:00:02.920 --> 1:00:03.160
<v Speaker 5>Goal.

1:00:03.760 --> 1:00:06.000
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you why it's a field goal. Let

1:00:06.040 --> 1:00:07.560
<v Speaker 1>me tell you why it's a field goal, Seth. Let

1:00:07.600 --> 1:00:10.600
<v Speaker 1>me tell you why it's a field goal, Seth. Okay,

1:00:11.080 --> 1:00:15.320
<v Speaker 1>not to fumble, Seth. I Seth, I said, I said,

1:00:15.320 --> 1:00:16.919
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna said, I'm gonna yell It's not I'm gonna

1:00:16.960 --> 1:00:19.520
<v Speaker 1>keep yelling at you. I'm gonna yell you again. I'm

1:00:19.520 --> 1:00:21.480
<v Speaker 1>gonna yell at you. All the comments are gonna be like, li,

1:00:21.600 --> 1:00:22.919
<v Speaker 1>why do you yell at that guy? And I'm gonna

1:00:22.960 --> 1:00:25.720
<v Speaker 1>not care and I'm gonna be Yeah, Seth, it was

1:00:25.800 --> 1:00:28.240
<v Speaker 1>not a fumble. It was a field goal. Okay, fucking

1:00:28.320 --> 1:00:33.800
<v Speaker 1>listen to me. The second you decided, you know what,

1:00:34.160 --> 1:00:37.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna express my feelings for this girl, and the

1:00:37.040 --> 1:00:40.800
<v Speaker 1>second you grew the balls and you did it, you

1:00:40.880 --> 1:00:41.880
<v Speaker 1>scored the field goal.

1:00:43.680 --> 1:00:44.040
<v Speaker 6>Mmmm.

1:00:44.560 --> 1:00:49.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Because now, because you're eighteen and no relationship you're

1:00:49.280 --> 1:00:51.760
<v Speaker 1>gonna have at this point in your life is gonna

1:00:51.800 --> 1:00:56.360
<v Speaker 1>really matter all that much. But the development of the

1:00:56.480 --> 1:01:02.960
<v Speaker 1>skill of having the courage to express your feelings is

1:01:02.960 --> 1:01:06.360
<v Speaker 1>is a w and is a field goal, and is

1:01:06.400 --> 1:01:09.960
<v Speaker 1>not a fumble a fumble in this situation for you,

1:01:10.120 --> 1:01:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Seth would be if you were to never express your

1:01:16.000 --> 1:01:21.040
<v Speaker 1>feelings at all and decide to play it completely safe

1:01:21.520 --> 1:01:25.280
<v Speaker 1>and not risk rejection. That's a fumble, Seth. But but

1:01:25.440 --> 1:01:27.840
<v Speaker 1>what but what then.

1:01:29.120 --> 1:01:31.840
<v Speaker 6>We'd still be talking because.

1:01:31.600 --> 1:01:34.640
<v Speaker 7>Like, okay, okay, yeah, okay, okay, yeah okay, But but

1:01:34.760 --> 1:01:37.080
<v Speaker 7>you would still be Yes, you would, Yes, you would

1:01:37.080 --> 1:01:43.240
<v Speaker 7>have a relationship that is skewed by the dishonesty of

1:01:43.280 --> 1:01:46.200
<v Speaker 7>your feeling of your of your feelings for her, because

1:01:46.240 --> 1:01:47.800
<v Speaker 7>you would have a friendship with this woman, but you

1:01:47.800 --> 1:01:50.280
<v Speaker 7>would want something more, and the fact that you want

1:01:50.320 --> 1:01:53.560
<v Speaker 7>something more would be it was, it would be what

1:01:54.800 --> 1:01:55.880
<v Speaker 7>I'd rather put up.

1:01:55.760 --> 1:01:59.680
<v Speaker 6>With that then, yeah, the ship.

1:01:59.760 --> 1:02:04.960
<v Speaker 1>But Seth, Seth, Seth? Are you like, are you in

1:02:04.960 --> 1:02:06.480
<v Speaker 1>college or anything? Like? What are you doing?

1:02:06.640 --> 1:02:09.720
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I'm in college. I'm in computer engineering.

1:02:09.960 --> 1:02:11.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Do you live on campus?

1:02:12.800 --> 1:02:13.040
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

1:02:13.840 --> 1:02:18.640
<v Speaker 1>You live out? You live on a college campus. Like

1:02:18.720 --> 1:02:23.640
<v Speaker 1>are you staying in a dorm? Yes, Seth, I'm in Seth.

1:02:23.640 --> 1:02:27.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna kill you. Go out in, Seth. You're eighteen,

1:02:27.520 --> 1:02:29.040
<v Speaker 1>you live on a college campus.

1:02:30.520 --> 1:02:34.040
<v Speaker 8>Fuck this girl that lives twelve hours away, who you

1:02:34.120 --> 1:02:38.600
<v Speaker 8>said she doesn't like you? Go God damn it, Seth.

1:02:38.760 --> 1:02:43.120
<v Speaker 8>Go to clubs. Go start clubs, go talk to random

1:02:43.160 --> 1:02:47.920
<v Speaker 8>people that you find attractive on park benches. God, but

1:02:47.920 --> 1:02:49.320
<v Speaker 8>but what Seth.

1:02:51.200 --> 1:02:53.440
<v Speaker 6>That requires socialization?

1:02:53.760 --> 1:02:56.920
<v Speaker 1>It's sure, yeah, sure, God damn does Seth?

1:02:57.560 --> 1:02:58.680
<v Speaker 6>Would you would you do that.

1:03:00.120 --> 1:03:02.400
<v Speaker 4>If I were you, if you were in my if

1:03:02.440 --> 1:03:05.000
<v Speaker 4>you were in my predicament, what would you do if

1:03:05.040 --> 1:03:06.320
<v Speaker 4>I were in your predicament?

1:03:07.120 --> 1:03:09.000
<v Speaker 1>Well, let me tell you something, Seth. If I was

1:03:09.040 --> 1:03:11.200
<v Speaker 1>in your predicament and I was the eighteen year old

1:03:11.280 --> 1:03:15.360
<v Speaker 1>version of myself, I would be you know, I was

1:03:15.400 --> 1:03:18.800
<v Speaker 1>okay when I was eighteen. I was actually pretty, you

1:03:18.840 --> 1:03:22.000
<v Speaker 1>know whatever. You know what, Here's the problem is that

1:03:22.040 --> 1:03:23.920
<v Speaker 1>if I were the eighteen year old version of myself,

1:03:23.960 --> 1:03:27.440
<v Speaker 1>I would have eighteen year old version of myself fears

1:03:27.440 --> 1:03:29.640
<v Speaker 1>and anxieties, which I and you know now that I'm

1:03:29.640 --> 1:03:31.360
<v Speaker 1>talking about it, I ampathize with you that you have

1:03:31.400 --> 1:03:34.120
<v Speaker 1>those fears and anxieties that eighteen year old version of

1:03:34.120 --> 1:03:37.680
<v Speaker 1>myself would have. But I'm okay, but you get what.

1:03:37.720 --> 1:03:40.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm okay, But I'm twenty seven version of your old Okay,

1:03:40.400 --> 1:03:42.480
<v Speaker 1>But I'm twenty seven year old version of myself now

1:03:42.880 --> 1:03:46.120
<v Speaker 1>and you and I are talking, and I'm trying to

1:03:46.200 --> 1:03:48.160
<v Speaker 1>tell you with my twenty seven year old version of

1:03:48.200 --> 1:03:52.120
<v Speaker 1>myself with my brain that you should overcome the fear

1:03:52.280 --> 1:03:58.520
<v Speaker 1>that you have of the socialization and not be fixated

1:03:58.560 --> 1:04:01.479
<v Speaker 1>on this you know, this, this lady that lives twelve

1:04:01.560 --> 1:04:05.080
<v Speaker 1>hours away and so and so and so and so.

1:04:05.200 --> 1:04:08.440
<v Speaker 1>If I were you now with the brain I have now,

1:04:08.960 --> 1:04:11.000
<v Speaker 1>I would I would write down a list of my

1:04:11.120 --> 1:04:14.560
<v Speaker 1>interests and I would join or start clubs related to them,

1:04:14.920 --> 1:04:18.520
<v Speaker 1>and I would try to work up the cajoles to

1:04:19.360 --> 1:04:23.120
<v Speaker 1>fucking talk to people. And uh, it's really hard.

1:04:23.160 --> 1:04:23.400
<v Speaker 5>I don't.

1:04:23.400 --> 1:04:25.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't, I really I don't have like good advice

1:04:25.320 --> 1:04:27.920
<v Speaker 1>for you on on how to get over it. But

1:04:28.120 --> 1:04:30.880
<v Speaker 1>like you know, I mean, that's that's the thing.

1:04:30.920 --> 1:04:31.080
<v Speaker 5>Man.

1:04:31.120 --> 1:04:34.800
<v Speaker 1>It's a real Nike just do it situation. But I again,

1:04:34.840 --> 1:04:36.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm just letting you know. And I actually think I

1:04:36.840 --> 1:04:39.000
<v Speaker 1>did really understand this when I was eighteen. Is like

1:04:39.520 --> 1:04:42.360
<v Speaker 1>the the putting yourself out there and getting rejected is

1:04:42.400 --> 1:04:45.640
<v Speaker 1>not a fumble. The fumble is to you know, just

1:04:45.640 --> 1:04:49.760
<v Speaker 1>just stay in your room and you know, jerk off

1:04:50.280 --> 1:04:58.520
<v Speaker 1>a thousand times and and and not do anything. You know, kid, Okay,

1:04:58.680 --> 1:05:01.480
<v Speaker 1>do you yet? Okay, I'm gonna I'm that's all I

1:05:01.520 --> 1:05:03.320
<v Speaker 1>have for you today. That's all I have for you today, Seth,

1:05:04.080 --> 1:05:07.320
<v Speaker 1>call in, call call in next week, we'll talk again. Well,

1:05:07.560 --> 1:05:09.560
<v Speaker 1>you know what we're gonna We're gonna keep doing this

1:05:09.720 --> 1:05:13.320
<v Speaker 1>until you eventually call me and you're like, things are

1:05:13.320 --> 1:05:17.800
<v Speaker 1>going good. I don't I normally I don't like normally,

1:05:17.840 --> 1:05:20.120
<v Speaker 1>I truly I don't like when people I don't really

1:05:20.200 --> 1:05:25.880
<v Speaker 1>like return callers. Things are fine, hold on, but I'm

1:05:25.880 --> 1:05:28.000
<v Speaker 1>not a big hold on I'm not a big return

1:05:28.080 --> 1:05:31.680
<v Speaker 1>caller guy, like historically in this podcast, I'm not a

1:05:31.720 --> 1:05:35.080
<v Speaker 1>return caller guy. I wanna make an exception for you, Seth.

1:05:35.160 --> 1:05:38.400
<v Speaker 1>If you call it, you call in again, don't call

1:05:38.440 --> 1:05:41.040
<v Speaker 1>in next week, call in, give it some time, but

1:05:41.120 --> 1:05:43.880
<v Speaker 1>you call in again, I will make you the only

1:05:44.000 --> 1:05:48.480
<v Speaker 1>honorary return therapy get going caller. Mainly because I have

1:05:48.520 --> 1:05:52.560
<v Speaker 1>a lot of fun yelling at you and I want

1:05:52.600 --> 1:05:55.240
<v Speaker 1>to know. I want to hear what's going on in

1:05:55.280 --> 1:05:59.840
<v Speaker 1>your life. Yeah, it makes it. I get a lot

1:05:59.840 --> 1:06:02.600
<v Speaker 1>of adrenaline and serotonin from yelling at you. So please

1:06:02.640 --> 1:06:03.280
<v Speaker 1>call in again.

1:06:04.440 --> 1:06:06.120
<v Speaker 6>Okay, Okay, I will, I will.

1:06:06.400 --> 1:06:06.720
<v Speaker 5>All right?

1:06:06.760 --> 1:06:07.800
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else do you want to say to

1:06:07.800 --> 1:06:09.360
<v Speaker 1>the people of the computer before we go Seth.

1:06:12.360 --> 1:06:14.440
<v Speaker 4>I saw this reel where it was an idea for

1:06:14.480 --> 1:06:17.120
<v Speaker 4>a show where it's nine gay dudes and one straight

1:06:17.200 --> 1:06:21.080
<v Speaker 4>dude and they have to vote out the straight guy

1:06:21.200 --> 1:06:24.560
<v Speaker 4>and if it remains him, he gets money. But plot

1:06:24.560 --> 1:06:27.720
<v Speaker 4>twists they're all straight guys and it's just weeks of

1:06:27.800 --> 1:06:35.040
<v Speaker 4>ten straight dudes convincing each other who's gay.

1:06:35.320 --> 1:06:37.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'll check that out.

1:06:38.040 --> 1:06:41.560
<v Speaker 6>That would be awesome, wouldn't it not? It would be layers.

1:06:42.120 --> 1:06:46.960
<v Speaker 1>All right, I'll think I'll talk I'll talk to you later, Seth. Okay,

1:06:47.520 --> 1:06:54.280
<v Speaker 1>all right, later man later. Yeah, well, I don't know

1:06:54.280 --> 1:06:57.440
<v Speaker 1>about it. Yeah, well we'll hear from Seth again. I'm

1:06:57.480 --> 1:07:00.360
<v Speaker 1>not a big return caller guy. But I something about out,

1:07:01.200 --> 1:07:03.280
<v Speaker 1>you know what. I It's funny. I was talking to

1:07:03.280 --> 1:07:06.440
<v Speaker 1>Seth and just now and I was like, yeah, if

1:07:06.480 --> 1:07:08.360
<v Speaker 1>I had if I were back into my eighteen year

1:07:08.400 --> 1:07:10.160
<v Speaker 1>old version of myself, I would probably would probably have

1:07:10.280 --> 1:07:14.080
<v Speaker 1>similar amounts of anxiety that he does. But I'm trying

1:07:14.080 --> 1:07:16.080
<v Speaker 1>to but that. But if I could go back, but

1:07:16.080 --> 1:07:17.520
<v Speaker 1>if I could go back with my twenty seven year

1:07:17.520 --> 1:07:21.160
<v Speaker 1>old brain, I might do it a little bit differently.

1:07:25.480 --> 1:07:26.960
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know, isn't at the point of a

1:07:27.000 --> 1:07:30.640
<v Speaker 1>conversation is you get a different perspective on a thing.

1:07:31.280 --> 1:07:33.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I also I just I really like yelling.

1:07:35.760 --> 1:07:39.520
<v Speaker 8>Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night ever,

1:07:40.200 --> 1:07:41.720
<v Speaker 8>goes to he's.

1:07:41.560 --> 1:07:46.040
<v Speaker 1>Teaching you loud life. Really an expert