WEBVTT - All-Pro Jeremy Reaves will NEVER Give Up | Next Man Up | Washington Commanders 0:00:03.640 --> 0:00:05.560 What's Good Command is Family. Brian Cople Junior here and 0:00:05.600 --> 0:00:07.960 this is the Next Man Up Podcast. Our Next Man 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:10.920 Up is Jeremy Reeves, a guy with an amazing story. 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.880 We talk about perseverance, we talk about family, talk about faith, 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:17.000 and we talk about overcoming insurmountable odds. You do not 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:18.639 want to miss this one. It's definitely a tear jerker. 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:20.919 Make sure you have your tissues ready, Ladies and gentlemen. 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:26.599 This is the Next Man Up Podcast. What's Good Command 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.520 This Family? This is another episode of Next Man Up. 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:32.760 I'm Brian Coper Junr. With a very very special guess. 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:34.360 It's only episode two, man, so you get to be 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:37.040 my second guest. It's pretty cool, man, it's cold in here. 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:42.920 Man comfortable, it's my god safety ex pro bowler Jeremy Reeves. Jeremy, 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:43.440 how you doing to day? 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:43.760 Brother? 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:48.199 Oh man, I'm blessed man, I'm so glad you are here. 0:00:48.240 --> 0:00:50.320 Preparing for this interview, I realized, like man, me and 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:52.599 his brother have like a lot in common, a lot 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:54.920 of things to talk about. And you know, Next Man Up. 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:56.120 For those of y'all that don't know, this is only 0:00:56.160 --> 0:00:58.000 our second episode. Next Man Up is a chance for 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:00.760 us to see the man behind ain't the helmet, get 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:02.600 to know you more as a person, not so much exit, 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:06.039 and knows more about what makes you the man that 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:08.679 you are. But before we get into all of that 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.760 background stuff, we do got to talk about it. Maybe 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:12.360 we two and one, you know what I'm saying. 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:13.280 We three didn't go the. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:16.840 Way we planned, however, still a winning team. How are 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:18.480 you feeling right now at this point of season going 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:18.959 in the week four? 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:22.039 Uh, you know, optimistic, but at the same time, you 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:25.400 know you're you're kind of frustrated at how last week went. 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:27.319 You know, the competitor and me never wants games to 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.000 go like that. You know, that's frustrating as an athlete 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:32.120 somebody that wants to win. You know, I hate losing, 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.240 you know, I hate the feeling of what losing is like. 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:36.800 And I hate going through that week off of a loss. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.480 It sucks and like, you know, you think about all 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:41.880 the plays throughout the throughout the game that could have 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.080 went differently, or that you could have made, or you 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:46.440 know that should have been better, and so just trying 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:48.040 to work through that. That's like the worst part of 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:49.800 like the loss, because you know, you left some food 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:52.120 out there on the table. So but then at the 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:53.840 same time, you gotta have a short memory. You know, 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:55.640 we're going into a new week. You know, God bless 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:58.360 us with another day, hopefully blesses with another one, and 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:00.920 you know that leads up to Sundays. So you gotta 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.040 have that short mindset mentality and you know, work till 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:04.960 the next week, and you. 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:07.600 Talk about that mentality knowing that, hey man, there's another game. 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.000 You had that because you're a veteran man, you've been 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:11.880 here and done this before. But this is a team, 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.440 especially the secondary, of a lot of young guys. So 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:16.360 what is that conversation after the first loss of this 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.720 season to those young guys and saying, hey, all right, 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:20.560 we got to move forward. Like what as a veteran 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:21.920 have you been able to do to help them kind 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:22.440 of move past this? 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.600 Laws just kind of, you know, teach them the game 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:27.520 how I kind of how I know it. You know, 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:29.720 I've played a lot of football here, you know, whether 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.480 it was special teams or on defense, and so I've 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.160 kind of seen my mix of everything, and so just 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:37.240 kind of teach them, you know, like, all right, this 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:38.920 is something you can learn from, but you can't harp 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:40.480 on it and dwell on it, because at the end 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:43.520 of the day, teams scout and they self scout, so 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.480 you know, we're gonna get the same things that they 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.720 think are the weakness of certain defenses, and they're going 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:50.880 to try to exploit that. And on special teams, you know, 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:54.280 if they see a weakness and rush or if they 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.079 can set up a return, look, they're going to set 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:58.200 up certain things to do that. If they saw that 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:00.600 it was, you know, a weakness for us. So those 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:02.120 are things that you just gotta harp on. But at 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:04.359 the same time, like you got to be getting ready 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:07.400 for the next opponent, So you don't dwell on the past. 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:09.519 It's over. He can't do nothing about it. You fix 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:11.000 what needs to be fixing, you move forward. 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.399 And as a better answer your sixty year right, six 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:16.280 six years, I mean you've kind of seen it all 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.200 at this point, right, How it's going into this season 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:24.040 different than every other season you've gone into Personally, Yeah, personally. 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:28.160 Yes, sir man, I just you know, I I'm not 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:31.360 on edge, you know, for me personally in my career, 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.960 it's always been like, all right, I'm fighting for like 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.080 a chance to be on a roster, right, I've been 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:40.320 a practice squad guy for I don't know how many years. 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.520 It's felt like it was forever, So like I just 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:46.520 kind of went through that mental gymnastics of like I 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.600 have to be perfect because I have to do everything 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:51.360 to stay here. Right, But now last year, after the 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.600 year I did last year, now it's just about letting 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.800 it loosen, having fun. Man. There's no uptightness or tense 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:00.760 about me. You know, I'm just to play football and 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.400 I'm here to do it at a high level. You know, 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.400 last year was a glimpse of what I can be, 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:06.960 and this year is just really letting it go. 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:09.320 And we're excited to see you let it go. Man, 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.240 We're excited to see what you're gonna bring this season. 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:13.280 But like I said before, this isn't much about the 0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:15.920 X and o's. It's about talking about the man behind 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:17.840 the helmet, right. So I want to take it back 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:18.640 to your hometown. 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:20.680 Right it's coll of Florida. Yeah. 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:22.760 What does Pencacola, Florida mean to you? 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:27.840 In your own words? Love? You know what I mean. 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.760 That's the best way I can describe it. Man. That's 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:33.480 a place that you know, it surrounds you with love 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:35.240 when you need it, you know. And my trials and 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:37.480 tribulations and when I've went through in my life of 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.480 you know, the football aspect of it and the personal 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:42.560 side of life. You know, the city's embraced me and 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:44.919 they've loved me, and they continue to give me that 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:46.799 love even when things weren't going the way I wanted 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:48.800 it to. And when things did, you know, it was 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:51.600 the same love. So it's you're gonna get the same 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.240 consistency no matter what you know, good or bad. They're 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:55.719 gonna be there for you. They're gonna rock with you, 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.600 and they're gonna have you back regardless. So man, it's 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:00.400 a it's a blessing to be from a it's like 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:03.080 that where it's just just tight knit and and everybody's 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:05.360 really pulling for the for the guys to win. Everybody 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:06.880 wants to see each other win. Man, it's a lot 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.159 of guys from Pensacola. They're in the league. You know, 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.320 you got Martin Emerson in Cleveland, you got Alex Otherwood 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:19.440 in Chicago. It's it's about Michael Carter and the Jets, 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:22.159 you know. So it's it's a it's a ton of guys. Now, 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:25.400 Witherspoon just got drafted to Seattle. So it's a lot 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.800 of guys. You know that the city's pulling forward and 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:30.159 you know they want you to win. You know that's 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:32.880 because it's a sense of pride behind that for that place. 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.080 And so I mean, it's beautiful, man, It's it's a 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:35.520 lot of love. 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:37.880 You talk about that love. But the guys you just named, 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.200 you nameing some real dogs like you're named some guys 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:41.800 that got a chip on their shoulder come into the 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:45.719 league improving a point? What about Pensacola makes y'all like 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:48.240 that and breeze these dogs that is coming into the NFL. 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:51.960 Man, it's only the mentality there is, and I mean 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.800 it's it's it's crazy, but it's true. It's like, I mean, 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:58.320 I grew up in the military home and then my parents. 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.479 I was blessed to have both parents and my life. 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:02.840 But the reality was my parents couldn't afford to go 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.479 to college for me, to put me into college, you know. 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:07.960 So the mentality was, if I don't make it in football, 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:09.919 I don't know how to get school. I don't know 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.799 how I'm going to get another chance out of second education. 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:16.560 And so the mentality was that I have to make 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:18.200 it like this because if I don't, I don't know 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:21.359 what's next. So there was no for most of those. Actually, 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:22.839 I'm gonna say every one of those guys that I 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.360 just named, there was no plan bow. You know, every 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:27.200 you know, you hear it from a young age. You 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:30.800 hear teachers, you hear from coaches. You know you gotta 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:32.320 have a plan, but you gotta have something to fall 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:35.400 back on. That was there was no plan B. This 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.760 is a play A that was playing. Gotta work because 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:39.679 if it don't work, then I don't know what's next. 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:41.920 You know, you get to that when you get there. 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.320 But right now that's the focus, is just that, And 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:45.840 I can say that for all of those guys out 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:49.400 are there, they just they understood, you know that if 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.839 I don't do this this way, then I don't know 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:52.760 how it's gonna happen. 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:56.240 And having that understanding and mentioning that you grew up 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.279 in the military family, first, all shout out to your parents, 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:01.200 thank them for the service. And a man, I also 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:01.960 grew up military. 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:02.720 That's what I'm talking about. 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.400 The things we have, the comments, and it's funny because 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:07.359 like almost all my friends other than the ones I 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:10.560 grew up with in military homes don't really get what 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:12.160 that means when you say I grew up in a 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:12.800 military family. 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:14.520 They know about, you know, the service. 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:16.360 They know about the accolades and you know what I'm saying, 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:18.000 the uniforms and things like that. They don't really know 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:21.720 what goes into growing up in a military household with 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:25.240 two parents that have military mindsets, right, speak on that 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.800 a little bit, and also like how that played a 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:29.120 part in who you are today. 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:33.160 You know, it was so my parents when they were 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.000 out of the military, well when I was born, my 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:38.000 parents were out, but my father went from the military. 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.200 He went from the army straight into law enforcement, so 0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:45.360 he became a police officer. So it was very structured, 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.680 you know, like day to day life was very regimented. 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:52.800 It was you know, you wake up, I woke up. 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:54.560 I woke up at the same time every day. You know. 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:56.520 I had school start at seven forty five. I had 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:59.400 to be up. We lived. I lived in Cantonment, which 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:01.560 is right outside pens Cola, so it was probably like 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.960 a thirty minute drive of school, so you got to 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:05.320 get up at least at six thirty. 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:10.920 At least that was like the latest you can push it. 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:15.600 Yeah, so six am. I'm going from from there, I 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.120 wake up, I make my bed, I go into the bathroom, 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:21.080 brush my teeth, wash my face. From there, I go 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:24.480 into the kitchen, I make my lunch. And my dad 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:27.520 used to have these two coins. We used to do these, uh, 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.960 these little breakfast sandwiches. My dad before he went to 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:33.120 work or if he was working late at night, he 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:35.880 would put the sandwich from the freezer in the fridge 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:38.240 with a thaw. That way, in the morning time I 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:39.720 could just put it in the microwave and it would 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:41.880 be ready to go. So I go in there, I 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:44.800 put that in the microwave and make the lunch. Then 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:47.280 I'd come back, I get dressed, I'd eat, and then 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:48.880 I'd grab my lunch and I was out the door, 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.360 like and it was like that every day, right, and 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:53.440 so like when my dad came back home from work 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:55.440 and my mom, did you know, the first thing they 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:57.960 did was check to see the bed was made. So 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:00.439 my dad would get off at different times depending on 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:02.960 what shift he worked. My mom she worked, you know, 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:05.840 a regular nine to five, So like they would usually 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:08.120 get home before I did because I had practice or 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:12.280 a baseball practice or football practice. After school. So I 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:14.320 was getting home at like six, so like they are 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:17.640 already home, they've already seen it, so I wouldn't. I 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:20.480 would get a text if something was right, right, like 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:22.920 the bad gotta be like no wrinkles, it got to 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:26.480 be tight, right, like the sheets can't have any Like. Yeah, 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:30.960 it was very old, right, It's very It was very regimented. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:33.559 But at the same time, like as a twenty seven 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.560 year old man, now like that shaped how I am 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:38.960 now as far as like how I go about my 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:43.400 business personally and professionally, you know, So like it made 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.120 me regimented, and you know, what I do on my 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.920 off days. And then it made me bled into like 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:50.760 what I do when I'm at the facility, what time 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:52.959 I'm waking up, How am I taking care of my body? 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:56.000 What am I doing? What's my routine? So but I'm 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.520 thankful for it. I hated it then. It sucks. It 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:01.600 was terrible then, but like it paid off when I 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:02.520 got older. 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:05.240 And you talk about the things it did for you, 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:07.480 the way it benefited you as a man as a 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:10.360 football player. But there's got to be those moments where 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:12.400 you're like talking to your kids, right, they didn't grow 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:14.360 up like that they didn't have military backgrounds. It just 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:17.320 grew up as just normal everyday civilians. Is there anything 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:20.160 you hear where you're like, dang, that sounds good or man, 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:22.680 I wish I would have had that as a child, 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:25.880 because you know, I was in such a strict household. 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.439 I mean I would say yes and no. As much 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:30.680 as strict as my parents were, there was a level 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:34.480 of trust, right So like as I became a young adult, 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:38.640 my parents the least became looser. And so as I 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.960 grew up, you know, they allowed me the freedom to 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:42.959 do things and be a young kid, you know, make 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.040 mistakes and fall and learn how to get back up 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:47.120 because at the end of the day, you know, my parents, 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:49.400 our parents aren't going to be here forever. One day. 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:51.280 You gotta learn how to walk on you on two feet, 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:53.679 and so just as much as they had that tight 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:55.480 at least they also let me learn how to become 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:58.880 my own man. And it taught me something that you know, 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:00.920 some people didn't get out of early age. You know, 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:02.640 some people learn it later in life. You know, I 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:05.440 was able to, you know, learn self discipline, you know, 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:09.240 and mature at a much sooner rate than a lot 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:13.360 of sometimes my parents because just of that growing up 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.520 in that structure that I had, it taught me things 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.559 about myself that I you know, learned that I could 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:18.560 play in my day to day. 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:22.560 And it's evident hearing you speak how big your parents 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.319 were in your life, how much of a role they played, 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.000 and especially your mother. I know that you guys have 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.800 a very very close relationship. November twenty twenty one, you know, 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.160 things kind of took a turn. Do you want to 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:36.320 talk about that a little bit? What happened and what 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:40.240 you speak on it, and you know how it affected you. 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:43.560 You know, it's I can tell you exactly how that 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:46.280 day is. It's like sometimes people go through traumatic experiences 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:48.560 and they have like a mental block of that experience, 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.000 but like mine is vivid. Like I can remember I 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.160 was we had just got off of practice. We were 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:59.120 going out to play Vegas that week, and I remember 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.000 my sister called me in Call of Duty. I had 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:04.440 a monitor I have. It's kind of wild, the traumatic 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:07.640 It's wild what trauma does. So like I was playing 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:11.439 Call of Duty and I remember my sister called and 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:14.880 I was sitting in the stool and she told me, 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:20.360 you know, Mom's unresponsive, and uh, you know, my first 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:22.559 reaction was, like my mom's okay, she could be okay, 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:25.400 Like I see my mother battle everything, you know, as 0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:28.400 like a child, Like there's just mentality in this thought 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:31.240 process of like our parents are like super superhumans, right, 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:33.760 they suffer in silence, and you know, and as a child, 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.320 you never know everything that your parents go through. Right, 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:39.640 That's the part of being a parent is like you 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:41.480 deal with things on your own, and you don't you 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:43.440 don't want to bring that on your child, put that 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:46.559 on your child. So my mother was very strong woman, 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:51.640 and so you know, it turned out that she wasn't okay, 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:56.800 you know, and I just remember, you know, briefly, you know, 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:58.880 I kind of just lost it in the moment. You know, 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.120 that's I'm not hundred miles away from home, you know, 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.319 and I just wanted to be there, Like in that moment, 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.880 I wanted to be with my family, with you know, 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.200 my mother. You know, A part of me thought there 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:12.880 was something I could do to stop that, you know, 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.560 there's something I could prevent, some way I could prevent 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.880 that from happening, you know, And I think at the 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.160 end of the day, it was just that was just 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.840 her time, you know. I think God had told her 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:25.400 that she served the purpose and it was time to 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:29.040 come home, and there was comfort in that, you know. 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:32.200 But you know, in that moment, you don't think of that. 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:36.920 You know, it's kind of blotchy. I remembered in spurts 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:41.320 like what I did and what happened, you know. But 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.840 you know, I never played that PlayStation again. I sold 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:48.160 it and I sold that monitor. I don't touch it anymore, 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:50.800 you know. It's just that I don't know what it 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:52.920 was about it, but I just wouldn't touch it, you know. 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.079 And so that was part of that trauma, that kind 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:58.160 of I just I didn't want to relive. I didn't 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:02.080 want to go through it. And I remember flying home, 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:06.320 and that was probably the hardest part of that whole thing, 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:10.560 was going home. I remember being on the plane and 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:13.320 I remember being so close, feeling like I was so 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:15.920 close up in the air, but being like so far 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:17.480 away at the same time because I knew what I 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:20.080 was going home too. And that was hard. That was 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.760 tough because at that time in my life it seemed 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.240 like nothing was going right for me, right like the 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:30.240 year before in twenty twenty, like it was COVID and 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:33.440 I ended up coming in and playing defensively on football 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.360 side of it, and I was playing well, and like 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:38.840 I got to start against Dallas, and I balled out 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:40.760 against Dallas and I had a great game and ended 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:42.480 up starting the rest of the year and play well 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.080 and played in the playoffs against Tom Brady. And so 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:47.640 from the football side of it, I felt like I 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:49.840 had got over that hump that I had been facing 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:53.840 for four years, you know, like that man, he's just 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.400 a guy we could plug in here and there. I'm like, nah, 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:00.160 like I finally showed that, like I'm more than and 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:03.160 what I got labeled as, you know, maybe to the public. 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:07.640 And so from that point forward, when I get to 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:09.600 twenty twenty one and I'm cut again and I'm right 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:11.680 back to square one. After I finished on such a 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:15.160 hot note, I'm like, what more can I do? Like 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:17.520 what more do I have to do to show that, 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.880 like I belong here? I know I belong here, But 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:21.560 what more do I have to prove? I'm not proving 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.160 anything to me? I notice, right, last year wasn't a 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.120 shock to me, Like I knew to who. I knew 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:28.880 who who I was, Like I knew I said it. 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:31.120 You give me a full seventeen, I'm gonna show you 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:33.040 what I can do, you know, and like I got that, 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:38.240 and so it was just going through that right back 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:40.360 over again where I'm cutting. I'm just fighting for my 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:42.960 life again, and it's just like I don't know what 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.280 tomorrow is gonna bring, and then you get that on 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:48.240 top of it. It was it was hard, man, It 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:52.000 was a lot of you know, that was really the 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.960 first time in my life where like not emotional person. 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.840 I'm very introverted, Like I don't express my feelings a lot. 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:02.160 I think that just comes with being a man, right, 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:04.760 you know, there's that stigma of like men, you're not 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.280 supposed to be you're supposed to be tough and you're 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.400 not supposed to be vulnerable. And like I grew up 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:11.920 like that because my dad's like that, you know, militant, 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.320 you know. So it's very like you deal with it internally. 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:18.480 And that was the first time I didn't internalize things, 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:20.000 you know, I just kind of let my feelings out there, 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:21.840 how I was feeling and what I was going through 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:25.760 mentally and emotionally. And you know, I can just say 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.520 like I had a village. It took a village, you know, 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.040 and I had a village that really just helped me. 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:32.720 There was a lot of days where I cried, a 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:34.160 lot of days where I was sad, and I was 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:36.680 angry and I was frustrated. You know, you can even 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:38.520 throw it in depressed in there, but you know I 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:41.440 had a village of people that you know, really got 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:42.400 me out of that tough time. 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:46.200 You talk about that moment where you let you release, right, 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:48.920 you let your emotions go. And it's something admittedly, like 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:50.480 you said, it's not something you really doing. Like you said, 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:51.920 it's a man thing. It's only a man thing. It's 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.480 a black man thing where our dad's teachers. Hey listen, 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:56.960 nobody gonna cry for you, nobody gonna feel bad for you. 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.560 This life is tough. Suck it up and shake it off. Right. 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:02.280 So when you have that moment where you say, okay, 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:04.200 I'm gonna let loose like this is too much? 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:06.159 Yeah, what did that do for you? 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:08.720 Man? Did that teach you okay, it's okay to release 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.520 this emotion? Did it just feel good or did it 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:13.680 just add to everything that you were already going through? 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:18.720 Nah? Man it it honestly was the best reliever I've 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:23.480 ever had. And I say that because I don't even 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.520 think in the moment I was really crying or or 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:30.440 emotional about just that. I think all the emotion that 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:32.359 was let go was everything that I felt that I 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:35.600 just never said or handled or addressed. You know, it 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.240