WEBVTT - Fatherhood Part 2: The Truth 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.360 This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:08.240 to grab and I heard radio podcast. Welcome to another 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:10.400 episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:14.080 and Gavin is still not here. He's out gallivanting, singing 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.239 songs and such. So he was so good last week 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:19.439 we wanted to bring him back for another episode we 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:24.720 have with us co hosting today, Bara. Oh, you had 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:27.760 it first, right the first time you went Spanish on it. 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:30.680 It's Nigeria. I tried to dance it off. Yeah you did. Yeah, 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:37.560 what is that? What is the meaning of your name again? 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:39.960 Big man come save me? You want to know the 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:41.680 quick story of it, I'll give you a quick history. 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:44.520 That's awesome. My great great grandfather was a seven footer 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:48.159 in the Nigerian village and when people would have issues, 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:51.360 they would ask him to come moderate come help out 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:54.360 me a lot, meaning big man, please come and help me, 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:56.400 Like we got some issues going over here. So like 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:58.840 in the previous conversation we're having, you would just call 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:00.680 for the big man to hey, come, come resolved. That's 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:02.560 what's going on here. Yeah, so that's what that means, 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:04.640 big man comes save I mean lucky, you're six six 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:12.280 two plus because that would be weird. Okay, so now 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:14.640 we want to transition this. I think that that topic 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:16.480 right there, I think we didn't maybe do another episode 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.039 on because it's a polarizing topic and we can we 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.800 can unpack that more. But but I appreciate you coming in. 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:24.600 You're one of this episode. We're gonna get into fatherhood 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:28.440 two point oh, because our producer Amy is passed off 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:30.679 with the last one. She thought the guys fired up 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:32.760 kind of all over the place, and Akbar and I 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:35.880 already got into like a heated discussion that was I 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:37.319 liked it, yeah, and I had to. I had to. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.399 I had to kind of hold that because I had 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:41.440 a lot of feelings about it. Yeah, so we'll get 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:43.640 into that too. But yeah, I'm a little fired up 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.400 on a lot of things, and especially last week's episode. Okay, 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:48.440 so Amy, here's the short of it. Amy thinks the 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:51.360 guys sugarcoated fatherhood. I think they blew smoke up your 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:54.680 butt and it was unicorns and rainbows and that's great 0:01:54.880 --> 0:02:00.000 and that's of fatherhood, and then they ignored the rest. Okay, 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.520 so we'll get into that. Okay, let's talk to tough stuff. 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:05.480 And Akbar is one of seven, right, yes, one of seven, yes, 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:08.840 number six, number six and seven. And I'm the biggest. 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:11.640 I'm the biggest. I'm proudly can you tell that I'm 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:18.040 probably six boys, one girl? And yeah uh and then 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.440 you also have four kids, so yeah, so busy working 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:24.200 man father, like father. I want to hear your story 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:26.959 and your take on children. I am thirty six. I'm 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:29.920 now like feeling drawn for the first time, drawn in 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:32.919 my life to fatherhood and actually becoming a father. Always 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:35.240 said I wanted to be one, but now it's becoming 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:37.720 real for me. Um and then the guys. I asked 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:41.440 the guys some questions about fatherhood, and Amy was immediately 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:46.000 piste off. She thought it was too cordial and too nice. 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:48.639 So we're gonna take the gloves off, Eastern. You're gonna 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:51.000 have to hit us with a little ding ding right 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:55.640 there if you have a I've been wearing ruthful but 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.799 blowing smoke and unicorns in rainbows. Well, and I will 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:01.600 say this as a preface to this, Um Brooks, a 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.720 buddy came to us and said, Hey, I'm thinking about 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:07.760 becoming a dad. Being a dad is amazing. Is the 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:11.919 most amazing thing you'll do in your life. So that's 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:14.160 what we we We supported him on that because I 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:16.160 think that he should do it. If someone came to 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:17.720 me and said, I don't have a driver's license, I 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:20.080 just moved to the country. I'm thinking about getting a license. 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.800 There's a lot of freedom with driving, right. I wouldn't 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.000 then tell them about car wrex and show them pictures 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.520 of disasters and start and talk about how I cry 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:29.560 in my car. Like no, I would say, hey, driving 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:31.240 gives you a lot of freedom. Do it. And then 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:32.880 later on if they keep pressing, which I think this 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:35.480 episode is now going to be, then then you tell 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:37.320 them some of the stuff to be prepared for. But 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:38.960 until he's about to be a dad, I didn't need 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:41.160 to hit him out of the box with Oh my god, 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:43.800 being a dad is so tough. Okay, So if someone 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.520 else his wife about giving birth, should they say, oh, 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.920 it's wonderful, or should they say it's a watermelon through 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:55.880 a straw. But that's yeah, okay, let's let's touch. That's 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.760 how that's the same as having sex. And by the way, 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:03.600 for show me a sor that's four centimeters oh eastern, 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:06.160 you're gonna have to addit this episode, Um, let's talk 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:09.240 let's hot dog down the hallway. I can't remember. Let's 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.480 talk about this Ryan. Let me ask you this question. 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:14.680 So what is it like as a father or as 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:16.640 a as a husband? What is it like as a husband. 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:19.640 What has your relationship been with your wife as she's 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:21.360 been pregnant for nine months? And what are you going 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:24.440 through right now as she's about to give birth? Maybe 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:28.960 any minute, any day. Now, I would say fatherhood is 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:32.400 very rewarding, but it is incredibly difficult. I mean we 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:36.280 the weekends are completely different. I think about you. You 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.400 work out twenty five hours a day, and that's not 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.080 gonna You're not gonna be able to do. I wouldn't 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:43.240 know it based on looking at you. Your chest is 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:45.880 actually not very big, and mind's larger. I would say, 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:50.480 But here, I canna tell you we have a little competition. No, 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:54.600 it's a one one. His chest as his weakness. So 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:59.200 I'm hitting the chest so hard these anyway, it is 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:02.560 a constant like Saturday's what we used to do now 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:04.880 like we would go have brunch. We would you know, 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:07.560 go each of us would go work out, do whatever 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:09.880 we want. Now it's like, okay, we need to get 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:11.680 our son out of the house. We gotta go to 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.479 the park. We gotta pack a snack, you gotta then 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:16.720 nap is going to be at this time, and then 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:18.160 what are we gonna do in the afternoon. Well, it's 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:19.600 really hop but we still got to get him out 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.680 of the house. Like you're constantly waiting to get him 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:26.360 to go to sleep. It's like, uh, nap time is 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:30.680 at five, Like what can we do to fill five hours? 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:32.719 And got into naps, so then I have two and 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:35.240 a half hours to just decompress and then he wakes 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:37.880 up and you're like, okay, well then he's going down 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.080 at seven o'clock. Now we got another three and a 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:43.400 half hours. What are we gonna do? It's it is stressful. 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:48.280 So my wife, my wife is like days away from 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.000 going into labor. Yesterday, we I got home from work, 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.080 we took our son to the park. She fell off 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:59.400 the curb and rolled her ankle. Cannot walk. Now I 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:01.200 could not go to work this morning because we have 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.039 a two year old at home. Our nanny couldn't come in, 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:07.760 so I had to watch my son take him to 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.359 the park this morning at at eight am, knowing I 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:14.840 had to be here at noon. Try to run him 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:17.400 literally in a football field back it's like sprints, throw 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:19.839 a tennis ball like he's a dog, to try to 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:22.240 just tire him out so that he actually sleeps his 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.800 full time for his nap, so that my wife can 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.880 actually relax and keep her leg elevated while icing to 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:31.440 reduce the swelling. And she can't take anti inflammatories because 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:34.440 she's pregnant. I'm here doing a podcast, checking my phone 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:36.240 every second to see if she's texting me that she's 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:38.320 going into labor. Am I gonna get in traffic on 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:42.360 the way home. It's stressful. It is freaking stressful. Wow, Wow, 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:47.120 I felt great, but it is great. So but by 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:48.760 the way, after you do that, after you get the 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:51.479 kid to sleep, yes, you're exhausted. So if you know, 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.200 there are nights when you and your wife your partner 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.280 will go to bed and you can park a Volkswagen 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.480 in between you, you are nowhere near each other, you're 0:06:58.520 --> 0:06:59.599 both on the end of the bed and you just 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:02.039 pass out. So yeah, so once you do everything that 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:04.680 Ryan just explained, there are It's not like every night 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:06.200 you're just gonna go on and you're gonna spoon and 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:08.160 you're like, oh, this is our time. Now, that's kind 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:09.840 of let make it better. There's gonna be nights when 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:11.560 you're just like, I need my space, I want to 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.560 go to We put my son down last night and 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:15.760 night he's gonna be to this weekend. And I said 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.360 to my wife, only sixteen more years till he's out 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.720 of the house. So the baby, your kids are gonna 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:26.239 Your kids might be born on the same day they might. Yeah, geez, 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.360 double birthday party, one cake. Well that's actually that's the 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.840 saving the savings. But I have stressed about that too, 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.240 because then they're gonna they're gonna be jealous of one 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:37.160 another that each of them doesn't have their own day. 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.400 I've thought through all of this stuff. I have twins. 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:43.119 Don't worry, acquire you have four kids, have four kids, 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:45.480 twins that are the last two? Can give us the 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:50.160 ages of all boys girls eighteen boy ten girl? Uh, 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.520 twins boy girl? And how old are they eighteen ten 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:57.080 and seven twins or seven? Ye? And your boy just 0:07:57.120 --> 0:07:59.600 went to college. Yeah, we just sent him off to college. 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:02.000 And I didn't expect it to be emotional. It was. 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:05.440 It was emotional and it got me actually on orientation 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:08.720 because going in as a student athlete. You know, you 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:11.440 kind of get um, kind of guided through, so you 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:13.400 don't really go through there. You don't really have the 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:19.160 real you know, college Uh no, not for me. Not 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:20.560 for me. Now. You know, I grew up in the 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.920 Nigerian household, they always uh you know, emphasized education. But 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:27.080 but as I was going through, I'm all right, I'm 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:28.600 ready for this. I gotta get all the inst I 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:30.600 flew out, my wife stayed with the kids. I'm gonna 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:33.320 take all the notes, and they got professors up there 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:36.160 and admission people and all that, and I mean probably 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:38.800 about three hours in, it just slapped me right in 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:43.120 my face. I'm like, oh, shoot, he's about to be gone, 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:45.760 like you know, we're in the introduction and I literally 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:48.320 started like crying. I'm like, oh my goodness. That was like, 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:50.640 what is happening right now? Because it just hit me. 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:52.280 And it like because at first it was just we're 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.160 applying for college with fasts and this and la la 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:56.640 la la, and then I was like, oh and then 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:58.680 when we got there set him up for the dorm, 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.240 it was emotional. I didn't and then my wife and 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:08.480 the kids just lost it. Um. But I will say 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:12.400 that's that part is rewarding as a father because I 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:15.600 think the stage you're in and heck, we're all in 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:19.120 it um is uh. When you're you really don't know 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:20.839 what it's gonna turn out. And I gotta say I'm 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:23.840 proud of my son because there's a lot of bumps 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.839 and ups and downs during the process. But for him 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:28.720 to get to this point, to make it to college 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:30.720 and he's about to get off on his own, I 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:33.200 was just like, man, it's just that it makes you realize, 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.680 like all the work, especially when you don't think they're 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.360 listening and all the stuff that you said when they 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:40.800 were younger, they hit you, what about when you said 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.440 this that I told you eight years ago? Nine years ago? 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:46.560 So they are listening. Um. But in the moment, you 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.600 feel like this kid is just such a he's so 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:51.920 selfish and you know, and listen and you know and 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:55.520 the ungrateful yeah, and then and then they get it. 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:57.840 Is it a question for you? And just as a 0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:59.760 sports guy, it's something you can maybe relate to, is 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.079 it um? Because as when our sports careers come to 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:03.920 an end, we feel like it went too fast and 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.439 that it's like we didn't think we would thought we 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:09.040 have more time. It went too fast? Uh, dropping your 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.439 boy off at school? Was it the same sort of 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:13.280 feeling like I can't believe when you got hit with 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:14.800 that emotion, like I can't believe he's out of the 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:18.640 house now. Eighteen years didn't eighteen years didn't feel it 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.240 sounds like a long time, Like if you told me 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:21.760 I was going to prison for eighteen years and oh 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.120 my gosh. You know, but eighteen years, you just think 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:28.240 you have enough time. And what I've realized now is 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:30.320 that I have a little bit more sense of urgency 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.920 with my ten year old because I do believe, like 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.760 I have seven to eight years left with her. And 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:37.600 I'm telling my wife and she's like, why are you 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:39.920 creating the sense of urgency. I'm like, because it went 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:43.480 by so fast. And for my son, he wants to 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.120 run track, and he hopped around doing sports. My wife 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:48.640 didn't come from a sports background, so she said, oh, well, 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.280 he can do this, and he can do that, and 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.680 he can do this, And before you know it, he's 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.600 in the tenth grade and now he wants to do track. 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:57.680 He's figured out okay, hey, I want to do track. 0:10:57.720 --> 0:10:59.240 And you know, I was trying to get him down 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.880 one Ale, and he was thinking about other things. And 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:05.080 I'm like, oh man, he's behind and we didn't really 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:08.000 have the time that we thought he was gonna have. 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:09.920 But he's taking a leap of faith and going to 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.000 Oregon so he can walk on the track team. But 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.280 I mean, I wish you would have had more time 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.000 to do it. And I look back and going I 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:17.760 could have done that better. I could have done that one. 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:19.880 But someone told me once my kids I had four 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:22.720 kids as well, ten, eight, six, and three. Um, and 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.160 someone told me one time, which unfortunately that they're like, 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:28.640 when your kid turns ten, they've already lived with you 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:32.600 more than they will because they moved out an eighteen. Right, 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:34.520 So at ten, you're already past the halfway point of 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.439 how long they're ever gonna live with you. And now 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:39.280 that's stuck. Yeah, now that's stuck in. I don't appreciate 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.880 you sharing that. Yeah. Well, if I have to live 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:46.360 with it, then everybody does. Um, here's one question for 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:48.840 you you just mentioned and I just wrote this down 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:52.120 because it was such an interesting thing. Um, what is 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:53.720 in this for all three you guys? You guys are 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:56.840 all fathers. Uh, what is one thing you wish you 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:04.040 were better at as a parent, I I would say, um, working, um, 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:09.240 working less, being more content UM. For me, I think 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:12.720 the hardest part is, you know, with success, you know, 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.840 there comes the financial reward and then there comes the lifestyle. 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:20.320 And being a slave to your lifestyle UM keeps you 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:24.040 on the hustle and grind and um. You know. I've 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:26.400 been talking to my wife. I said, we gotta stop upgrading. 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:29.120 I don't want to upgrade anymore. I'm genuinely content. I 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:31.000 don't I don't want I don't need another I gotta, 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:34.040 you know, nice toy car or whatever. I don't want 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.880 anything else because what I realized is my son is 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.079 and my daughters are going to be gone, and then 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.360 that's it. Like I'm looking forward to doing more traveling 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:46.439 and all that stuff, but not at the expense of 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.920 missing out on some of these important years because you 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:51.920 see the impact that is going to have on the future. 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.560 And the part that I struggle with now is being 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:57.680 so busy to where I come home and I'm just 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:01.720 dog exhausted and I'm one into what I call autopilot mode, 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.640 like he does a hu uh huh huh uh huh yeah, 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.880 oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and my brain. But I'm 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:10.040 just done, and I'm like, I'm going in the bathroom. 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:11.680 I don't even need to go to the bathroom, just 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.080 like I need. I mean, I'm trying to get my 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:15.840 brain back, you know what I mean. Like it's just 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.439 so I wish I could do that. And yesterday, I mean, 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.960 I spend time with my son, just drill, helping him 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:24.320 with basketball, and my wife took the d my daughter's 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.480 out for volleyball practice. It's just you and I want 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:28.600 to want let's do it. And I don't do that often. 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:32.000 And here I am as a former professional athlete. I'm 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.080 not able to pour into my kids in the one 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:36.760 thing I've invested more time than anything else I've done 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.320 in my life. I've played sports since I was a kid, 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.199 and I've not been able to pour that. Just thinking 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:43.280 if you have a gift like that that you can't 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.680 pour into your own kids because you're consumed with so much. 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.720 So I think about that. Yeah, I think that that 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:51.320 is I dedicated thirty five years to hockey, like everything 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.920 I built up has to flow through and be passed on. Yeah, 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.440 And so I've I've thought about that already. Is when 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:59.640 my kids, if if we have kids, and if they 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:01.800 play sports, I would love to coach them and pass 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:04.160 that on. And if it's not our kids, then maybe 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:05.800 it has to be somebody else's kids, or some minor 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.480 league team or not like youth team or something like. 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.520 What you can teach my kids Because my gift, I'm 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:13.840 teaching them sarcasm. So that's kind of all I got. 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:19.040 So I'm just trying to instill that in them. You 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:22.160 guys have heard me say it time and time and 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:25.440 time again. Sleep is so important. You've heard me say 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:29.240 it many times. I can't stress enough how much I 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:33.560 prioritize sleep. I prioritize my sleep more than my working out, 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.480 more than my diet. Everything. If sleep lines up, the 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:40.840 rest lineup. 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It's shipped free shipping. 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:23.560 I have no time to leave the house, I have 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:25.720 no time to do anything. Casper will send me my 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.520 mattress right to my door. We get it, Ryan, you 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.920 have two babies. Well, I have a teenager and eleven 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.160 year old, so I'm tired to Ryan. Anyone who knows 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:37.440 me knows I love sleeping. I love naps. I'll lay 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.480 down on my Casper for a ten minute quickie and 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:42.720 I'll fall right asleep. I also love being smart with money. 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.560 Casper cuts out the middleman and sells directly to you 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:48.320 so they can give you an affordable price. Get a 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:52.080 hundred dollars towards select mattresses by visiting Casper dot com, 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:56.200 slash h MT and using h MT at checkout. Terms 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:59.760 and conditions apply again. Get a hundred dollars towards select 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:03.120 mat interresses by visiting Casper dot com, slash HMT and 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:11.399 using h M t at checkout, terms and conditions apply. Okay, Dmitri, 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:13.399 what about you? What is the one thing you wish 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:15.920 you were better at as a parent. It's not far 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.600 off of what a bar said. But remember so last 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:21.120 episode you retold the story that I told you where 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.119 I said I got the kids to school and then 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:24.879 as soon as I drove off the school lot, I 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.840 missed them. But and I got some some heat for 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:29.800 that because I made it. That's part of the rainbows 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:34.080 and unicorns thing, I guess. But the point was what 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:36.639 I was saying was that I'm so I rushed. I 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:38.919 rushed to get to certain points. It's like, it's like 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:40.959 Ryan was saying, like when don't we get them to bed? 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:42.879 When when are we getting into college? So I was 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:44.359 like trying to get them to school, and I was 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:46.400 I was a deck al right, I'm like, they gotta 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:48.119 get their Bay twenties. Come on, take your food in 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:49.959 the car too. And by the time I dropped them 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:51.720 off at the school, I was driving away and I 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.520 was like, oh my god. Instead of enjoying that time 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:56.120 in the car, I rushed them all the way there. 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:58.439 And now I'm sitting here and I'm like, now that 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:00.240 was my point. Now I got hours until I get 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:02.399 to see them again, when I just totally botched that 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.040 whole that whole time, I got them to school on time, 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:08.560 well whatever, but in the car, I was rushing them, 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:10.720 and I'll saying him, don't do this, and and so 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:13.679 my what I could do better is I think I 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:16.199 gotta slow down, and I gotta enjoy time and not 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:18.240 worry about getting to the next point. I rushed to 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:20.040 a point and then I absorbed it and relaxed. Then 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:21.520 I rushed to the next point, and I absorb it 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:23.880 and relaxed. And I think that's I think that's gonna 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:25.720 bite me sometime if I come back to bite me, 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:27.639 if I if I continue to do that. Because of 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:29.720 these little moments where it's the same thing. Oh, I 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:32.200 get off to college and it's like, oh man, yeah, 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:33.960 you and I share the same thing coming, I think 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:36.760 what it is. The answer is time management. The one 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.879 thing that I wish I could do better is time management. 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.480 So that way I know that I'm not rushing. Maybe 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:44.160 he's getting the kids up because I have the same 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:46.800 exact thing, getting up a little earlier so I have 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:49.639 time to enjoy the questions and stuff like that and 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.520