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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: to grab and I heard radio podcast. Welcome to another

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Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like

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Speaker 1: and Gavin is still not here. He's out gallivanting, singing

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Speaker 1: songs and such. So he was so good last week

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Speaker 1: we wanted to bring him back for another episode we

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Speaker 1: have with us co hosting today, Bara. Oh, you had

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Speaker 1: it first, right the first time you went Spanish on it.

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Speaker 1: It's Nigeria. I tried to dance it off. Yeah you did. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what is that? What is the meaning of your name again?

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Speaker 1: Big man come save me? You want to know the

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Speaker 1: quick story of it, I'll give you a quick history.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome. My great great grandfather was a seven footer

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Speaker 1: in the Nigerian village and when people would have issues,

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Speaker 1: they would ask him to come moderate come help out

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Speaker 1: me a lot, meaning big man, please come and help me,

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Speaker 1: Like we got some issues going over here. So like

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Speaker 1: in the previous conversation we're having, you would just call

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Speaker 1: for the big man to hey, come, come resolved. That's

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Speaker 1: what's going on here. Yeah, so that's what that means,

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Speaker 1: big man comes save I mean lucky, you're six six

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Speaker 1: two plus because that would be weird. Okay, so now

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Speaker 1: we want to transition this. I think that that topic

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Speaker 1: right there, I think we didn't maybe do another episode

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Speaker 1: on because it's a polarizing topic and we can we

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Speaker 1: can unpack that more. But but I appreciate you coming in.

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Speaker 1: You're one of this episode. We're gonna get into fatherhood

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Speaker 1: two point oh, because our producer Amy is passed off

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Speaker 1: with the last one. She thought the guys fired up

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Speaker 1: kind of all over the place, and Akbar and I

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Speaker 1: already got into like a heated discussion that was I

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Speaker 1: liked it, yeah, and I had to. I had to.

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Speaker 1: I had to kind of hold that because I had

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Speaker 1: a lot of feelings about it. Yeah, so we'll get

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Speaker 1: into that too. But yeah, I'm a little fired up

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Speaker 1: on a lot of things, and especially last week's episode. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so Amy, here's the short of it. Amy thinks the

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Speaker 1: guys sugarcoated fatherhood. I think they blew smoke up your

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Speaker 1: butt and it was unicorns and rainbows and that's great

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Speaker 1: and that's of fatherhood, and then they ignored the rest. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we'll get into that. Okay, let's talk to tough stuff.

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Speaker 1: And Akbar is one of seven, right, yes, one of seven, yes,

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Speaker 1: number six, number six and seven. And I'm the biggest.

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Speaker 1: I'm the biggest. I'm proudly can you tell that I'm

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Speaker 1: probably six boys, one girl? And yeah uh and then

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Speaker 1: you also have four kids, so yeah, so busy working

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Speaker 1: man father, like father. I want to hear your story

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Speaker 1: and your take on children. I am thirty six. I'm

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Speaker 1: now like feeling drawn for the first time, drawn in

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Speaker 1: my life to fatherhood and actually becoming a father. Always

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Speaker 1: said I wanted to be one, but now it's becoming

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Speaker 1: real for me. Um and then the guys. I asked

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Speaker 1: the guys some questions about fatherhood, and Amy was immediately

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Speaker 1: piste off. She thought it was too cordial and too nice.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna take the gloves off, Eastern. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to hit us with a little ding ding right

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Speaker 1: there if you have a I've been wearing ruthful but

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Speaker 1: blowing smoke and unicorns in rainbows. Well, and I will

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Speaker 1: say this as a preface to this, Um Brooks, a

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Speaker 1: buddy came to us and said, Hey, I'm thinking about

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Speaker 1: becoming a dad. Being a dad is amazing. Is the

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Speaker 1: most amazing thing you'll do in your life. So that's

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Speaker 1: what we we We supported him on that because I

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Speaker 1: think that he should do it. If someone came to

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Speaker 1: me and said, I don't have a driver's license, I

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Speaker 1: just moved to the country. I'm thinking about getting a license.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of freedom with driving, right. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: then tell them about car wrex and show them pictures

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Speaker 1: of disasters and start and talk about how I cry

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Speaker 1: in my car. Like no, I would say, hey, driving

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Speaker 1: gives you a lot of freedom. Do it. And then

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Speaker 1: later on if they keep pressing, which I think this

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Speaker 1: episode is now going to be, then then you tell

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Speaker 1: them some of the stuff to be prepared for. But

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Speaker 1: until he's about to be a dad, I didn't need

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Speaker 1: to hit him out of the box with Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: being a dad is so tough. Okay, So if someone

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Speaker 1: else his wife about giving birth, should they say, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's wonderful, or should they say it's a watermelon through

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Speaker 1: a straw. But that's yeah, okay, let's let's touch. That's

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Speaker 1: how that's the same as having sex. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: for show me a sor that's four centimeters oh eastern,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to addit this episode, Um, let's talk

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Speaker 1: let's hot dog down the hallway. I can't remember. Let's

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Speaker 1: talk about this Ryan. Let me ask you this question.

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Speaker 1: So what is it like as a father or as

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Speaker 1: a as a husband? What is it like as a husband.

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Speaker 1: What has your relationship been with your wife as she's

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Speaker 1: been pregnant for nine months? And what are you going

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Speaker 1: through right now as she's about to give birth? Maybe

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Speaker 1: any minute, any day. Now, I would say fatherhood is

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Speaker 1: very rewarding, but it is incredibly difficult. I mean we

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Speaker 1: the weekends are completely different. I think about you. You

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Speaker 1: work out twenty five hours a day, and that's not

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Speaker 1: gonna You're not gonna be able to do. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: know it based on looking at you. Your chest is

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Speaker 1: actually not very big, and mind's larger. I would say,

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Speaker 1: But here, I canna tell you we have a little competition. No,

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Speaker 1: it's a one one. His chest as his weakness. So

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Speaker 1: I'm hitting the chest so hard these anyway, it is

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Speaker 1: a constant like Saturday's what we used to do now

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Speaker 1: like we would go have brunch. We would you know,

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Speaker 1: go each of us would go work out, do whatever

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Speaker 1: we want. Now it's like, okay, we need to get

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Speaker 1: our son out of the house. We gotta go to

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Speaker 1: the park. We gotta pack a snack, you gotta then

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Speaker 1: nap is going to be at this time, and then

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Speaker 1: what are we gonna do in the afternoon. Well, it's

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Speaker 1: really hop but we still got to get him out

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Speaker 1: of the house. Like you're constantly waiting to get him

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Speaker 1: to go to sleep. It's like, uh, nap time is

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Speaker 1: at five, Like what can we do to fill five hours?

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Speaker 1: And got into naps, so then I have two and

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Speaker 1: a half hours to just decompress and then he wakes

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Speaker 1: up and you're like, okay, well then he's going down

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Speaker 1: at seven o'clock. Now we got another three and a

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Speaker 1: half hours. What are we gonna do? It's it is stressful.

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Speaker 1: So my wife, my wife is like days away from

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Speaker 1: going into labor. Yesterday, we I got home from work,

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Speaker 1: we took our son to the park. She fell off

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Speaker 1: the curb and rolled her ankle. Cannot walk. Now I

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Speaker 1: could not go to work this morning because we have

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Speaker 1: a two year old at home. Our nanny couldn't come in,

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Speaker 1: so I had to watch my son take him to

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Speaker 1: the park this morning at at eight am, knowing I

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Speaker 1: had to be here at noon. Try to run him

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Speaker 1: literally in a football field back it's like sprints, throw

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Speaker 1: a tennis ball like he's a dog, to try to

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Speaker 1: just tire him out so that he actually sleeps his

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Speaker 1: full time for his nap, so that my wife can

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Speaker 1: actually relax and keep her leg elevated while icing to

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Speaker 1: reduce the swelling. And she can't take anti inflammatories because

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Speaker 1: she's pregnant. I'm here doing a podcast, checking my phone

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Speaker 1: every second to see if she's texting me that she's

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Speaker 1: going into labor. Am I gonna get in traffic on

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Speaker 1: the way home. It's stressful. It is freaking stressful. Wow, Wow,

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Speaker 1: I felt great, but it is great. So but by

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Speaker 1: the way, after you do that, after you get the

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Speaker 1: kid to sleep, yes, you're exhausted. So if you know,

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Speaker 1: there are nights when you and your wife your partner

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Speaker 1: will go to bed and you can park a Volkswagen

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Speaker 1: in between you, you are nowhere near each other, you're

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Speaker 1: both on the end of the bed and you just

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Speaker 1: pass out. So yeah, so once you do everything that

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Speaker 1: Ryan just explained, there are It's not like every night

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Speaker 1: you're just gonna go on and you're gonna spoon and

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh, this is our time. Now, that's kind

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Speaker 1: of let make it better. There's gonna be nights when

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Speaker 1: you're just like, I need my space, I want to

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Speaker 1: go to We put my son down last night and

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Speaker 1: night he's gonna be to this weekend. And I said

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Speaker 1: to my wife, only sixteen more years till he's out

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Speaker 1: of the house. So the baby, your kids are gonna

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Speaker 1: Your kids might be born on the same day they might. Yeah, geez,

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Speaker 1: double birthday party, one cake. Well that's actually that's the

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Speaker 1: saving the savings. But I have stressed about that too,

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Speaker 1: because then they're gonna they're gonna be jealous of one

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Speaker 1: another that each of them doesn't have their own day.

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Speaker 1: I've thought through all of this stuff. I have twins.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry, acquire you have four kids, have four kids,

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Speaker 1: twins that are the last two? Can give us the

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Speaker 1: ages of all boys girls eighteen boy ten girl? Uh,

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Speaker 1: twins boy girl? And how old are they eighteen ten

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Speaker 1: and seven twins or seven? Ye? And your boy just

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Speaker 1: went to college. Yeah, we just sent him off to college.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't expect it to be emotional. It was.

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Speaker 1: It was emotional and it got me actually on orientation

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Speaker 1: because going in as a student athlete. You know, you

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Speaker 1: kind of get um, kind of guided through, so you

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Speaker 1: don't really go through there. You don't really have the

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Speaker 1: real you know, college Uh no, not for me. Not

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Speaker 1: for me. Now. You know, I grew up in the

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Speaker 1: Nigerian household, they always uh you know, emphasized education. But

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Speaker 1: but as I was going through, I'm all right, I'm

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Speaker 1: ready for this. I gotta get all the inst I

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Speaker 1: flew out, my wife stayed with the kids. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: take all the notes, and they got professors up there

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Speaker 1: and admission people and all that, and I mean probably

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Speaker 1: about three hours in, it just slapped me right in

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Speaker 1: my face. I'm like, oh, shoot, he's about to be gone,

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Speaker 1: like you know, we're in the introduction and I literally

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Speaker 1: started like crying. I'm like, oh my goodness. That was like,

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Speaker 1: what is happening right now? Because it just hit me.

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Speaker 1: And it like because at first it was just we're

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Speaker 1: applying for college with fasts and this and la la

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Speaker 1: la la, and then I was like, oh and then

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Speaker 1: when we got there set him up for the dorm,

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Speaker 1: it was emotional. I didn't and then my wife and

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Speaker 1: the kids just lost it. Um. But I will say

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Speaker 1: that's that part is rewarding as a father because I

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Speaker 1: think the stage you're in and heck, we're all in

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Speaker 1: it um is uh. When you're you really don't know

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Speaker 1: what it's gonna turn out. And I gotta say I'm

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Speaker 1: proud of my son because there's a lot of bumps

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Speaker 1: and ups and downs during the process. But for him

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Speaker 1: to get to this point, to make it to college

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Speaker 1: and he's about to get off on his own, I

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Speaker 1: was just like, man, it's just that it makes you realize,

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Speaker 1: like all the work, especially when you don't think they're

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Speaker 1: listening and all the stuff that you said when they

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Speaker 1: were younger, they hit you, what about when you said

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Speaker 1: this that I told you eight years ago? Nine years ago?

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Speaker 1: So they are listening. Um. But in the moment, you

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Speaker 1: feel like this kid is just such a he's so

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Speaker 1: selfish and you know, and listen and you know and

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Speaker 1: the ungrateful yeah, and then and then they get it.

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Speaker 1: Is it a question for you? And just as a

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Speaker 1: sports guy, it's something you can maybe relate to, is

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Speaker 1: it um? Because as when our sports careers come to

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Speaker 1: an end, we feel like it went too fast and

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Speaker 1: that it's like we didn't think we would thought we

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Speaker 1: have more time. It went too fast? Uh, dropping your

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Speaker 1: boy off at school? Was it the same sort of

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Speaker 1: feeling like I can't believe when you got hit with

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Speaker 1: that emotion, like I can't believe he's out of the

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Speaker 1: house now. Eighteen years didn't eighteen years didn't feel it

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Speaker 1: sounds like a long time, Like if you told me

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Speaker 1: I was going to prison for eighteen years and oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh. You know, but eighteen years, you just think

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Speaker 1: you have enough time. And what I've realized now is

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Speaker 1: that I have a little bit more sense of urgency

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Speaker 1: with my ten year old because I do believe, like

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Speaker 1: I have seven to eight years left with her. And

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Speaker 1: I'm telling my wife and she's like, why are you

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Speaker 1: creating the sense of urgency. I'm like, because it went

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Speaker 1: by so fast. And for my son, he wants to

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Speaker 1: run track, and he hopped around doing sports. My wife

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Speaker 1: didn't come from a sports background, so she said, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: he can do this, and he can do that, and

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Speaker 1: he can do this, And before you know it, he's

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Speaker 1: in the tenth grade and now he wants to do track.

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Speaker 1: He's figured out okay, hey, I want to do track.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I was trying to get him down

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Speaker 1: one Ale, and he was thinking about other things. And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh man, he's behind and we didn't really

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Speaker 1: have the time that we thought he was gonna have.

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Speaker 1: But he's taking a leap of faith and going to

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Speaker 1: Oregon so he can walk on the track team. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, I wish you would have had more time

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Speaker 1: to do it. And I look back and going I

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Speaker 1: could have done that better. I could have done that one.

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Speaker 1: But someone told me once my kids I had four

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Speaker 1: kids as well, ten, eight, six, and three. Um, and

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Speaker 1: someone told me one time, which unfortunately that they're like,

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Speaker 1: when your kid turns ten, they've already lived with you

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Speaker 1: more than they will because they moved out an eighteen. Right,

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Speaker 1: So at ten, you're already past the halfway point of

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Speaker 1: how long they're ever gonna live with you. And now

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Speaker 1: that's stuck. Yeah, now that's stuck in. I don't appreciate

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Speaker 1: you sharing that. Yeah. Well, if I have to live

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Speaker 1: with it, then everybody does. Um, here's one question for

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Speaker 1: you you just mentioned and I just wrote this down

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Speaker 1: because it was such an interesting thing. Um, what is

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Speaker 1: in this for all three you guys? You guys are

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Speaker 1: all fathers. Uh, what is one thing you wish you

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Speaker 1: were better at as a parent, I I would say, um, working, um,

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Speaker 1: working less, being more content UM. For me, I think

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Speaker 1: the hardest part is, you know, with success, you know,

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Speaker 1: there comes the financial reward and then there comes the lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: And being a slave to your lifestyle UM keeps you

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Speaker 1: on the hustle and grind and um. You know. I've

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Speaker 1: been talking to my wife. I said, we gotta stop upgrading.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to upgrade anymore. I'm genuinely content. I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't want I don't need another I gotta,

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Speaker 1: you know, nice toy car or whatever. I don't want

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Speaker 1: anything else because what I realized is my son is

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Speaker 1: and my daughters are going to be gone, and then

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Speaker 1: that's it. Like I'm looking forward to doing more traveling

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Speaker 1: and all that stuff, but not at the expense of

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Speaker 1: missing out on some of these important years because you

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Speaker 1: see the impact that is going to have on the future.

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Speaker 1: And the part that I struggle with now is being

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Speaker 1: so busy to where I come home and I'm just

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Speaker 1: dog exhausted and I'm one into what I call autopilot mode,

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Speaker 1: like he does a hu uh huh huh uh huh yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and my brain. But I'm

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Speaker 1: just done, and I'm like, I'm going in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I don't even need to go to the bathroom, just

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Speaker 1: like I need. I mean, I'm trying to get my

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Speaker 1: brain back, you know what I mean. Like it's just

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Speaker 1: so I wish I could do that. And yesterday, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I spend time with my son, just drill, helping him

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Speaker 1: with basketball, and my wife took the d my daughter's

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Speaker 1: out for volleyball practice. It's just you and I want

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Speaker 1: to want let's do it. And I don't do that often.

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Speaker 1: And here I am as a former professional athlete. I'm

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Speaker 1: not able to pour into my kids in the one

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Speaker 1: thing I've invested more time than anything else I've done

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Speaker 1: in my life. I've played sports since I was a kid,

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Speaker 1: and I've not been able to pour that. Just thinking

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Speaker 1: if you have a gift like that that you can't

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Speaker 1: pour into your own kids because you're consumed with so much.

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Speaker 1: So I think about that. Yeah, I think that that

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Speaker 1: is I dedicated thirty five years to hockey, like everything

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Speaker 1: I built up has to flow through and be passed on. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And so I've I've thought about that already. Is when

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Speaker 1: my kids, if if we have kids, and if they

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Speaker 1: play sports, I would love to coach them and pass

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Speaker 1: that on. And if it's not our kids, then maybe

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Speaker 1: it has to be somebody else's kids, or some minor

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Speaker 1: league team or not like youth team or something like.

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Speaker 1: What you can teach my kids Because my gift, I'm

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Speaker 1: teaching them sarcasm. So that's kind of all I got.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just trying to instill that in them. You

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Speaker 1: guys have heard me say it time and time and

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Speaker 1: time again. Sleep is so important. You've heard me say

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Speaker 1: it many times. I can't stress enough how much I

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Speaker 1: prioritize sleep. I prioritize my sleep more than my working out,

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Speaker 1: more than my diet. Everything. If sleep lines up, the

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Speaker 1: rest lineup. Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly

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Speaker 1: designed products to help you get your best rest one

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Speaker 1: night at a time. Average person spends at least one

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Speaker 1: third of their lives sleeping. You better make the best

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Speaker 1: of it. Casper products are designed to mimic the human

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Speaker 1: body and our curves, providing supportive comfort for all shapes

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Speaker 1: and sizes. The experts at Casper worked tirelessly to find

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Speaker 1: a way to cradle your body in all the right

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Speaker 1: places The original Casper mattress combines multiple supportive memory foams

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Speaker 1: for a quality sleep surface with the right amounts of

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Speaker 1: both sinc and bounce breathable designs help you sleep cool

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Speaker 1: and regulate your body temperature throughout the night. And with

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Speaker 1: over twenty reviews in an average of four point eight

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Speaker 1: stars across Casper, Amazon, and Google, Casper is becoming the

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Speaker 1: Internet's favorite mattress. Casper offers three other mattresses, the Wave,

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Speaker 1: the Essential, and the Hybrid, which probably gives you better mileage,

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Speaker 1: but personally I like the Essential. It's streamline design and

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Speaker 1: it comes at a price that won't keep you up

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Speaker 1: at night. Casper also offers a wide array of other

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00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,560
Speaker 1: products like pillows and sheets, all to insure an overall

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Speaker 1: better sleep experience, all designed, developed and assembled right here

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Speaker 1: in the US. And like I told you before, I

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Speaker 1: love a company that gives me a guarantee so you

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Speaker 1: can be sure of your purchase. With Casper's one night

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Speaker 1: risk free sleep on It trial Casper, that's what I like.

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Speaker 1: You know I'm gonna love it, so you're willing to

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Speaker 1: let me try it for a hundred nights. And with

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Speaker 1: two babies now, my wife and I need sleep desperately.

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Speaker 1: And you know what else I love? It is delivered

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Speaker 1: right to your door in a small how do they

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Speaker 1: do that size box? With free shipping and returns in

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Speaker 1: the US and Canada? And did I mention we have

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00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:20,920
Speaker 1: two babies? Now right to my door. It's shipped free shipping.

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Speaker 1: I have no time to leave the house, I have

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00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,720
Speaker 1: no time to do anything. Casper will send me my

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Speaker 1: mattress right to my door. We get it, Ryan, you

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Speaker 1: have two babies. Well, I have a teenager and eleven

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Speaker 1: year old, so I'm tired to Ryan. Anyone who knows

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Speaker 1: me knows I love sleeping. I love naps. I'll lay

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Speaker 1: down on my Casper for a ten minute quickie and

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Speaker 1: I'll fall right asleep. I also love being smart with money.

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Speaker 1: Casper cuts out the middleman and sells directly to you

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Speaker 1: hundred dollars towards select mattresses by visiting Casper dot com,

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Speaker 1: and conditions apply again. Get a hundred dollars towards select

356
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357
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Speaker 1: using h M t at checkout, terms and conditions apply. Okay, Dmitri,

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Speaker 1: what about you? What is the one thing you wish

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Speaker 1: you were better at as a parent. It's not far

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Speaker 1: off of what a bar said. But remember so last

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Speaker 1: episode you retold the story that I told you where

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Speaker 1: I said I got the kids to school and then

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Speaker 1: as soon as I drove off the school lot, I

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Speaker 1: missed them. But and I got some some heat for

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Speaker 1: that because I made it. That's part of the rainbows

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Speaker 1: and unicorns thing, I guess. But the point was what

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Speaker 1: I was saying was that I'm so I rushed. I

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Speaker 1: rushed to get to certain points. It's like, it's like

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Speaker 1: Ryan was saying, like when don't we get them to bed?

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Speaker 1: When when are we getting into college? So I was

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Speaker 1: like trying to get them to school, and I was

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Speaker 1: I was a deck al right, I'm like, they gotta

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Speaker 1: get their Bay twenties. Come on, take your food in

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Speaker 1: the car too. And by the time I dropped them

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Speaker 1: off at the school, I was driving away and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. Instead of enjoying that time

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Speaker 1: in the car, I rushed them all the way there.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm sitting here and I'm like, now that

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Speaker 1: was my point. Now I got hours until I get

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Speaker 1: to see them again, when I just totally botched that

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Speaker 1: whole that whole time, I got them to school on time,

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Speaker 1: well whatever, but in the car, I was rushing them,

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Speaker 1: and I'll saying him, don't do this, and and so

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Speaker 1: my what I could do better is I think I

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Speaker 1: gotta slow down, and I gotta enjoy time and not

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Speaker 1: worry about getting to the next point. I rushed to

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Speaker 1: a point and then I absorbed it and relaxed. Then

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Speaker 1: I rushed to the next point, and I absorb it

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Speaker 1: and relaxed. And I think that's I think that's gonna

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Speaker 1: bite me sometime if I come back to bite me,

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Speaker 1: if I if I continue to do that. Because of

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Speaker 1: these little moments where it's the same thing. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: get off to college and it's like, oh man, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you and I share the same thing coming, I think

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Speaker 1: what it is. The answer is time management. The one

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Speaker 1: thing that I wish I could do better is time management.

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Speaker 1: So that way I know that I'm not rushing. Maybe

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Speaker 1: he's getting the kids up because I have the same

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Speaker 1: exact thing, getting up a little earlier so I have

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Speaker 1: time to enjoy the questions and stuff like that and

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Speaker 1: being Okay, look we're gonna get out because we have

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Speaker 1: more talk time or whatever to enjoy that. Maybe I'm uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I gotta get up fifteen twenty minutes early,

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Speaker 1: but at least i've that time out, because if you

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Speaker 1: don't have the time management, it will just life will

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Speaker 1: just take you away from your kids. Well, my problem

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Speaker 1: is I get up early, but they're little, so they

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00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 1: they're they're kind of sleeping, so I'm sitting there like waiting,

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Speaker 1: and then they get up and I'm like, I gotta

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00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 1: wake him up. I'm like, let's go, and then that

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Speaker 1: just kicks off from there. But yes, I agree with that.

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Speaker 1: But anyway that that would be mine, Ryan, what about you?

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Speaker 1: We've touched upon it before, but I think mine would

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Speaker 1: be being present when I am physically there with my son.

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Speaker 1: And and it goes back to like even at the playground,

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Speaker 1: I look around it all the parents and like, seriously,

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Speaker 1: parents are the kids on, you know, in the sandbox,

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00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 1: around the jungle gym or whatever, and you have your

419
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:43,240
Speaker 1: phone out and you're looking at my like mindlessly scrolling

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00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 1: on Instagram where you're playing fetch with your son or

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00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 1: or you're saying on the zip line and you're playing

422
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:53,400
Speaker 1: fats Um. And my wife we had an argument recently

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Speaker 1: about this, which was when I would get home from work,

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00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 1: I would immediately turn on the Phillies games, and she's like,

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Speaker 1: it's sad that, like you should be hanging out with

426
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 1: our son and playing with him, doing activities in the house,

427
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 1: but you're also half your attention is going to this

428
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 1: baseball game, which is like, it's is it? What's the point?

429
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,440
Speaker 1: And I said, well, I paid for the mL MLB

430
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 1: extra and package on direct I defend you on that one. Well,

431
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 1: I'm the same way. I'm gonna defend you on that one.

432
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:25,120
Speaker 1: I think there has to be a a time for men,

433
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 1: just the way our brains work to decompress. One of

434
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,719
Speaker 1: the best secrets. I don't work for Tesla, the one

435
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 1: of the best secrets. Oh my gosh, I can't believe

436
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna says, I hope my wife doesn't listen to this.

437
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:40,360
Speaker 1: Actually she won't. Okay, good um, Mike, Tesla, I purposely

438
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 1: don't put a charger in my house. I actually go

439
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 1: to the supercharger and my wife I have a blocked

440
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 1: out hour of time to myself. I'll listen to whatever,

441
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: I'll watch whatever on my iPad, and I swear to

442
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 1: you on my life when I get home, I'm a

443
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 1: better man. Because it's not like you can use the

444
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 1: traffic to to decompare. She can't decompress in traffic. It's stressful.

445
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 1: But when I sit there and go, hey, I'm gonna

446
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 1: go charge and I come home, Hey Ben, what happened

447
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 1: to you? Drink coffee or something? No? No, I'm good.

448
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: What's up? What do you guys want to do? Let's

449
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: go like I mean, it changes you. But when you're

450
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 1: coming off of work and you're doing whatever and you

451
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 1: come on like for me, I watched TV, not because

452
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,679
Speaker 1: I even want to understand what's going on. I just

453
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 1: need to decom I want my brain to go somewhere.

454
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: Candy Land sucks. It's like a really dumb game, you

455
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So like sometimes like playing with

456
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:32,640
Speaker 1: kids is actually brutal because that's boring for an adult,

457
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 1: but it's still important. The thing I was gonna ask

458
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,639
Speaker 1: you guys, and you don't have adult children, but you

459
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 1: have adult parents. My dad once, I remember he sat

460
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,479
Speaker 1: the three of us down and said, I liked you

461
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 1: guys as kids, but I love you so much more now.

462
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 1: I enjoy my time with you so much more now

463
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 1: that you're adults, because a lot of people don't want

464
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 1: to play candy Land, but they love the relationship they

465
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 1: have with their kids once they're teenagers or adults, not

466
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: even adults. Now, my son and I we can sit

467
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,639
Speaker 1: down and we can watch the baseball game together, and

468
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: he's and he keeps track. He can tell me what happened,

469
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: what the situation of the game is. So I agree.

470
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 1: I don't think it has to be that they don't

471
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 1: have to be that old, but there are certain points

472
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 1: where it's like, okay, now, I remember the first time

473
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: my dad was able to say sit in front of us.

474
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: He was so excited. He was like, no, I can

475
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 1: just talk like I don't have to like edit myself.

476
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, there are times like that. Yeah. I think

477
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: the only thing that we also didn't touch on that

478
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 1: irritated me or whatever about the Unicorns and Rainbows episode

479
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 1: is that we didn't address parents having to deal with

480
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 1: actual real life challenges with their kids. Their kid doesn't

481
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 1: fit in at school, their kid is being bullied, their

482
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 1: kid needs glasses, their kid needs surgery, their kid drinks,

483
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 1: their kid eats too much, their kid isn't eating at all.

484
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 1: And we didn't touch on that part of it where

485
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 1: I see parents going through excruciating pain because their kid

486
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,479
Speaker 1: doesn't fit in the friend group or whatever it is.

487
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 1: And I we just did a disservice to Brooks by

488
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 1: not talking about that stuff. Two things I'll say about

489
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 1: that real quick, because I was there and I was

490
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 1: part of the unicorn and rainbow issue. Um part of

491
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: the problem. Yeah, well, thank you. Um. Two things, guys,

492
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 1: or at least I do. I internalize a lot of stuff,

493
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,440
Speaker 1: so I don't share a lot of feelings, not because

494
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,360
Speaker 1: it's weakness, but because I just don't offer up things

495
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: that trouble me right off the bat. The second thing is,

496
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 1: and I'm not I know it was done for fun,

497
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,439
Speaker 1: but keep in mind, look back at that episode from

498
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: last week. I made one thing I said. I talked

499
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 1: about knock knock jokes, and I said, you know that

500
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 1: the kids are horrible, and and I tell him, And

501
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: what was Gavin's response, knock knock? Who's there? Worst dad ever?

502
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: So it's like, listen, moms get so much credit for

503
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 1: being awesome and dad's dad's just do what dads do.

504
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,159
Speaker 1: So if you if all of a sudden someone's like,

505
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: oh worst dad, or you complaining a little bit and

506
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: someone hits you with something like that, it's like, well,

507
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 1: I'm kind of I guess I'm failing a little bit.

508
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: And even though it was a joke, you know, you

509
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 1: he just says, but you just said, you just said

510
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,120
Speaker 1: something to me though, But why this is totally ignoring

511
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: your question. Um, but why do moms get all the

512
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: credit and dad's Father's Day. I'm not gonna lie. I'm

513
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 1: just keeping the real Father's Day sucks. It sucks. It's

514
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 1: not the fanfare that moms get. It's the hey, here's

515
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 1: a tie, here's the thing. Here you go. I don't

516
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 1: need this time. That's an ugly type by the way,

517
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: you know, it's just like we don't get the same

518
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: type of credit. And it's like, especially in the world

519
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 1: now where everyone's talking about equality, I think there needs

520
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: to be a voice for men to start having equal

521
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: care because there's so many there's this thing that well,

522
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: women have gotten praised and and and women do a lot,

523
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: but men do a lot too, Like like man, I

524
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 1: bust my butt, but mother's day sucks because they have

525
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 1: to have like a crappy eggs breakfast that their kid made.

526
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: We're on Father's Day, you get to go golf. But

527
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: I mean that that these are all these are all

528
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: gender and and roles that are being played like they're there,

529
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: you know, like I want to take the golfing out

530
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: in the Mother's day because that's not It's not the

531
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: one day. It's the grind of every single day, me

532
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 1: hauling butt from the South Bay all the way up

533
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: to you know, up north to go to work and

534
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 1: going over here and jet sitting around the country to

535
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: be able to provide and then come home and then

536
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 1: gotta clean and they gotta do this with the kids.

537
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I mean, it's exhausting. And yet it's like, well,

538
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: you're supposed to do well, you're a man, Like what

539
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: what does that mean? I don't got feelings like I

540
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 1: don't want to be appreciated, like men want to be appreciated,

541
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: And I don't care. I'll fight any man right now

542
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: who tells me they don't want to be appreciated. Men

543
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: want to be appreciated, but they don't get appreciated. And

544
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 1: it's just like the men step down, elevate the woman

545
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 1: and then turns around and they get crapped on what

546
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: they don't do this, they don't do that, And I'm like,

547
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: hold on. Like my wife and I we fight about

548
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: this all the time, like the whole stay at home

549
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: versus the the man that works, and this is like, well,

550
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 1: I'm the one out with job is hard, and I

551
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: feel like every man will go out there and preach like, oh, yeah,

552
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: it's very hard to standal Yeah, it is hard to

553
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 1: stay at home, but it's equally hard to go to

554
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 1: work too, Like like you can't compare the two and say, well,

555
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 1: because I'm at home with the kids, and more people

556
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 1: are gonna fall in love with that idea than you know.

557
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: You're like or it's more like, come on, what are

558
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: we doing here? Are we're gonna we're gonna minimize one

559
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,880
Speaker 1: role to elevate the other so that one never gets

560
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 1: any type of loving credit. I'm like, that's a bunch

561
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: of sorry you just so one time, one time I

562
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 1: went away for four days for work, Like a week later,

563
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 1: my wife went away for two days. When my wife

564
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: came home, the kids made a banner cookies. I helped

565
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 1: him the whole thing, a little welcome home party. She

566
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 1: was going for two days. I was going for four days.

567
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: You know what. I got a text that said, hey,

568
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,479
Speaker 1: I was in you're in the We're going to Michael's.

569
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 1: You want us to wait from my wife. So it's

570
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 1: like twice as long gone. But it's like, all right,

571
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: well you could when you get home, you get right

572
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 1: back into. But when she came home, it was a

573
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 1: fan fair black bar. You said you would fight any

574
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: man who says they don't want to be appreciated. While

575
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 1: you said that, we're saying that Brooks looked at me

576
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 1: in mouth. I don't to be appreciated, So it's odd you. Well,

577
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 1: if you you seem like a man of your word,

578
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: and we can just one thing. He didn't get into

579
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 1: my bios, like, look, I'm from Crunchhaw. I'm from l A.

580
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: Like I look, I'm not. I'm not you know, I'm

581
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: not part of Canada. I don't I don't fight. I

582
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: don't fight from fighting. Brooks is from the Crunchhaw of Canada.

583
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: Here here's why I looked at Here's why I looked

584
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 1: at Ryan, because I promise you you've never seen a

585
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: man that wants to be appreciated more than Ryan. That's

586
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: why I looked at the revels in the appreciation. Well, Ryan,

587
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 1: I I join you because I'm I would love to

588
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: change the narrative, like I want to be appreciated. Um

589
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: and yeah, there's a little bit of comparison when I

590
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 1: sometimes sit back and go on, wow, man, like it

591
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: must be great to be a mom, Like it doesn't

592
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 1: matter what you do, like you're gonna get the love.

593
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: And everybody has to echo the same thing, like moms

594
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 1: can never do anything wrong. Dad does everything only And

595
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: look at all the shows. I get sick. I stop

596
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: watching a lot of these shows. They make men, they

597
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 1: make fathers look so dumb. They have no idea, like

598
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:07,959
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, what are you gonna do? Like I hate,

599
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: like seriously, like I want to turn. I mean, this

600
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 1: is the slang word. I want to get ignorant when

601
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 1: people go, oh my gosh, what you can do when

602
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: your wife is gone? Okay, I don't know how to

603
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: braid hair, but I can put her hair in ponytail.

604
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: I can cook. I started cooking at the age of eleven.

605
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: I know how to cook. Like, oh my gosh, are

606
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: you okay? Don no? I don't need no help. I

607
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: got four kids. I can take care of all my

608
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: kids by myself. I don't. I don't have a nanny.

609
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,400
Speaker 1: I don't need one, you know what I mean? Like

610
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: I'm good, Like don't don't treat me as if because

611
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: I'm a man. Oh men, don't want to be bothered

612
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: with that, Like I can take it. And there are

613
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 1: I know so many guys who are like that. There's

614
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: a small guy. There's a group of guys who don't

615
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 1: want to be bothered with any of that. And that's

616
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: just a preference. But doesn't mean that the guys don't

617
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like the guys don't know

618
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 1: how to do all that stuff. Like, oh my gosh,

619
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do now that my wife

620
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: is the only way I know that Me and my

621
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: wife are different. Like the whole park thing. I get

622
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: anxiety with parks. I have to take them too. There's

623
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 1: a person that like, I have to take them the

624
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: place because I'm mono focused. So I have to have

625
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 1: them in a place that is surrounded and and closed

626
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: and let go. I'm the best father then, But if

627
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: it's in an open park, I can't. I can't take

628
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 1: them to the beach because it's like this, I'm like,

629
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: I'm just too much anxiety. I wanted to actually funny

630
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: brought that up. I wanted to do a test today,

631
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: but now I want to. But my point was to

632
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: get inside a dad's mind who remembers the movie Minority

633
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: Report with Tom Cruise. If you ask anybody that's mainly

634
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: not a dad. But I mean maybe it's the same

635
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: with moms. But if you ask someone who doesn't have kids,

636
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 1: what was your favorite scene from them? I mean, what's

637
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: your favorite scene that you remember from that movie? I

638
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: thought that movie sucked. Asked me, because I'm Okay Brooks,

639
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: what's your favorite scene? So I think I've seen the movie.

640
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 1: Favorite scene? What's the scene that you remember? The one

641
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: I remember is just he was driving some badass BMW

642
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: is the only really one And you ask anything on

643
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: the windshield he can move things or something, And you

644
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 1: ask any dad Minority Report. You guys, feel free to

645
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong. Tom Cruise does a scene

646
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: he goes he's playing with the son at the pool.

647
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: He goes underwater, he comes up and his son is

648
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: gone missing forever. And so I thought that was just

649
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: me but I've talked to plenty of people, and after

650
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: a certain time he came up with somebody else, and

651
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: I was like, I thought I was the only one

652
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: that that was burned in my brain so badly. So

653
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: when I go to a park, when I go at

654
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: any pore, I'm mono focus. I cannot I'm constantly scanning.

655
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: And it's like that is a stress that goes with

656
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: me everywhere. It's like every time you're in public, seems

657
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: like that just stick with me. My wife tells all

658
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: of our friends, Ryan would love it if if our

659
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,959
Speaker 1: son was just in a padded room all day and

660
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 1: he he doesn't want him to get and I'm like, yeah,

661
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: I like, I don't want him to get hurt. I

662
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 1: love him so much that I don't want him to

663
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,479
Speaker 1: smash his face or bust his teeth on a curb

664
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: as he's like running too fast in a park that

665
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's actually a dip here, or

666
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: there's a hole here, or a sprinkler head here. So yes,

667
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,719
Speaker 1: I am constantly anxious when we're at a park, and

668
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: that like, does that make me a bad person? No?

669
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: I love him so much that I don't want him

670
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: to get hurt. Sorry for caring. And you know I

671
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: would say this, I would say this, the maternity instinct

672
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: gets a lot of love, as it should. I mean

673
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 1: without the maternity instincts, oh my goodness, I mean you.

674
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: I mean they are nurturers that they nurture, but the

675
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: main men can't nurture. But I love the maternity instinct.

676
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 1: But there is a paternity instinct, and I think priority

677
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: number one for the paternity instinct is to be protective.

678
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: We have a protective thing that we want to protect

679
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: and provide. There's a lot of peas in there. It's

680
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: a great alteration. Actually, it's just come a paternity. Paternity

681
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: instinct is provide and protect, And for me, I want

682
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 1: to create a protective environment to where like there's Plia

683
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: del Ray is the name of the park, and they

684
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: have this where you're facing here and this long big

685
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: fences like this and all the stuff is in front

686
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 1: of you. Anybody comes in, it's got to come from

687
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: behind so you see everything. I'm good, I'm just chilling.

688
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: I'm the best dad. But if I'm in the open park, baby,

689
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: can we get out of here? Because you can't? I can't. Yeah.

690
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: Oh that's a lot of heat boys were talking about No,

691
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,719
Speaker 1: I just agree. I mean, I rest my case. That's

692
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: why I thought it was like yeah, And and the

693
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 1: guys were a little offended when I said, you're lying

694
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: and they're like, we're not lying. And I'm like, okay, fine,

695
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: you're right. You told half truth. They did not tell

696
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 1: Brooks the whole truth. And I think, look, we can

697
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: have many episodes about it, but there are real hard

698
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 1: challenges with parenting, and I just think we're not doing

699
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: what this show is how men think if we don't

700
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: talk about the things. You're right. You're right though, But

701
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: but he asked, I'm thinking about becoming to dead. I

702
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: would never stand in a way from from a man,

703
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: especially someone established and a decent, good guy. I would

704
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 1: never stop him for being a dad. So I will

705
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 1: get to that. It's such a man thing to think

706
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: that telling the truth would stop him. Why did I

707
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 1: have to jump out with Hey, listen, when you're driving

708
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: on a road trip, the same thing that makes you

709
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: want to drive into a poll is the same thing

710
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: that won't you love your kids. Sometimes they drive your nuts,

711
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: but you're not, you know, but you're protecting them. I'm

712
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 1: not going to jump out and tell him all this

713
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: horrible stuff. I say, I'm kind of with Amy. I'm

714
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: kind of with Amy that you kind of because I

715
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: remember my boy, my former teammate, Ricky Sharp, and I

716
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 1: used to talk to him real talk about marriage and

717
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: how the challenges a marriage. He goes, Man, when I

718
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: talk to you, I don't know if I want to

719
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: get married. He got married, and good because it allows

720
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: him to understand the challenge because look, for everybody says,

721
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it was just the best thing. It's

722
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: the best and the toughest thing ever. And I think

723
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: I want to put toughest thing first. You know. It's

724
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: like it's tough when you bring in two worlds. It's

725
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 1: you know, just it's tough. And but I wanted to

726
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 1: give him the real because I think when you paint

727
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: this this picture of beauty, that it creates false expectations,

728
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: and then when it doesn't work out the way you

729
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: know that expectation, then things start to crumble. You start snapping, because,

730
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: as Brooks, do you want kids any less today than

731
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: you did last week? Probably more? But in defense of

732
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 1: these guys, I asked them questions like, what is the

733
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 1: greatest thing about being a father. Like thirty minutes that

734
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: we talked about father, So I didn't get into the

735
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: missing kids aspect of it. Yeah, but I appreciate like,

736
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: and it's probably a tough topic even to discuss that

737
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 1: as a dude, like discuss your kids going missing or

738
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 1: the possibility of your kid getting hurt, Like, it's got

739
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 1: to be incredibly difficult to even discuss it. So we

740
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: have to. I know, I know, And so that is

741
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: what we are doing. Yeah, Okay, I love it. Okay,

742
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,359
Speaker 1: that's the end around one ding ding dinging. We gotta

743
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 1: take one more quick break, stick around for a couple

744
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: more minutes. We talked about it all the time on

745
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 1: this show. We are not afraid to discuss our bathroom

746
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: habits with you guys. I'm in there a lot. I've

747
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 1: told you that many times before. Rick, he doesn't go

748
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: as much as I do, and that's terribly unfortunate for him.

749
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: But right now we're focusing on products in the bathroom

750
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: for men and women for everyone listening. This is what

751
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752
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753
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754
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755
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756
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757
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,720
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758
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761
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762
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,359
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763
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,799
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764
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,040
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765
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,000
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766
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,960
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767
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768
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769
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: coconut vanilla. It's uh, it's natives most popular scent. I

770
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: got my wife, on the other hand, who likes the

771
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: lavender and rows. Sometimes we you know, spice things up,

772
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,200
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773
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,640
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774
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: those special occasions. I'm in and out of the pool

775
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: all the time, constantly needing to reapply. So I felt

776
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: the natural deodorant was important. Native has products for men, women,

777
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 1: and teens. I coach high school water polo, and those

778
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,520
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779
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:35,560
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780
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781
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782
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783
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784
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: I have a buddy that you know, they just give

785
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 1: They used to do. I don't know if they still do.

786
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: They used to just give away credit cards to anybody

787
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: that like free money. I had a buddy that instead

788
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: of like, he maxed out one, so the go and

789
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 1: get another one, and he need just applied for another.

790
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 1: And he just kept maxing out credit cards and he

791
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: didn't really think, but it ended up catching up with him. Um,

792
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: and you know, you know how many of us have

793
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 1: looked at our finances and screamed, how can we make

794
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,799
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795
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: just creeps up on us right unexpected repairs, replace the washer, dryer,

796
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: medical bills, and the killer those insane interest credit cards

797
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798
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801
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811
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812
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 1: while we're on break, Ryan just raised the hes a

813
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,879
Speaker 1: story he was Now, I want to just tell you,

814
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: like the laundry list of things that will stress you

815
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: out and maybe you'll form your opinion as to whether

816
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: father it sounds good. But just recently we we were

817
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: told you want to get your kid into swimming lessons

818
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: as soon as possible and get them comfortable being in

819
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: the water. So from like eighteen months we got our

820
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: son into a swim lesson one on one with this person,

821
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: and the other week she was taking him and he's

822
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 1: eighteen months old and she was dunking him under the

823
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: water and he was like. I was sitting there and

824
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: my wife was like, I don't know if you can

825
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 1: be here for this, Like you're stressing me out your

826
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 1: reaction to this. And I'm like, she's dunking him under

827
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: the water. He's coming up gagging like coughing. She that

828
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: the instructor comes up. She's like, I'm watching him. I

829
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 1: don't see any airbub well, he's not inhaling, And I'm like,

830
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: the kid is going to like die on your watch.

831
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 1: And it was so I pulled him out of classes altogether,

832
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: and he's no longer swimming. He may never swim the

833
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 1: rest of his life. Fine, he's going to be on land.

834
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: You'll be fine. I remember as a kid getting dunked.

835
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: They're like, Okay, now your face is going to go

836
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,839
Speaker 1: underwater and there's push you underwater. You kind of come

837
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 1: out all right, Well, you clearly lost a lot of

838
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: brain cells and explains a lot. Then I became an athlete,

839
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: made a ton of money. That's all right, well documented

840
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 1: on the money right right? Okay? Uh, gentlemen, I want

841
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: to thank you for your your insight into fatherhood and

842
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: I appreciate that and I'll certainly lean on it in in

843
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 1: the future. Uh when I hopefully become a father one day.

844
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: Uh akbar man, You're just a breath of fresh air. Dude.

845
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming in. Thank you vingate? Can I stay

846
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: real quick? Uh? My, my all my kids and my

847
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 1: wife and I we watch American Nage of Warrior. We

848
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 1: have American Nage of Warrior Monday Nights together. My son

849
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: does an impression of you guys. Are you and Matt hosting?

850
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 1: And for Christmas he wants a warped wall, so keep

851
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: doing the huge fans all right, Thank you appreciate that.

852
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 1: Tell your son I said, hello, um, where can people

853
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 1: find you? Because your message is incredible. I want people

854
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: to be able to find you. Where can people find you?

855
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: Are you on social yep, I'm on social um, even

856
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,919
Speaker 1: though I wish Social a a a quick and painful death.

857
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: But I am at a bar a k b A

858
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: R underscore baja g b A j A. I had

859
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 1: to shorten the last name or nobody would follow me. Um.

860
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's all. Those are all my handles for

861
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:35,759
Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram. I tried doing the snapchat but it's there,

862
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 1: but I don't I don't know how you want to

863
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: give your phone number in case anyone wants a quick

864
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: phone bone or no, I'm married, down man, I'm married.

865
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: Those days are gone. And what about the book Everyone

866
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: Can Everyone Can Be a Ninja? You can go to

867
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: Barnes and Noble, Amazon wherever books are sold, UH, and

868
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 1: you can purchase your copy of Everyone Can Be a Ninja.

869
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,320
Speaker 1: I was inspired to write this book after seven years

870
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 1: of watching these ninjas go through obstacles. It made me

871
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,359
Speaker 1: realize about the obstacles in life that we all have

872
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: and some of the stuff that I learned from the

873
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: ninja's I utilize that in giving life lessons on how

874
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 1: to overcome obstacles in your personal life. I talked about mine,

875
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 1: I talked about my good friend Alison Felix who's an

876
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 1: Olympic world class athlete, former teammates, and some of the ninja's.

877
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: I augment those stories and I try to tell a

878
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,919
Speaker 1: powerful story that will hopefully motivate people to live their

879
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 1: best life UM and to never give up UM even

880
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 1: if they got a warped wall in front of them

881
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: uh in life. I love it, man, love your mission.

882
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Your wife Crystal has a very

883
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: good man. She's very thank you. Thank you very much.

884
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 1: Come back one day with us. Yeah, man, and and

885
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 1: any and seriously, I mean, just hit me up. I

886
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: mean this, this is this is my wheelhouse. I I

887
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 1: love talking about this because I think more conversations like

888
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: this should be UM, should should be done because it's

889
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: just not happening enough. And hopefully that this platform will

890
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,799
Speaker 1: more evate and armed men to be able to have

891
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: this discussion not only amongst their boys, but at home

892
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,280
Speaker 1: with their wives, their partners, whoever, so we can change

893
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 1: the narrative for in a positive way. I love it.

894
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: I love it. Man. If you have a for Father's

895
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: Day and if you have a lead on a warped wall,

896
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 1: I'd really appreciate that. Okay, I know a bunch of

897
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: ninjas who can make one perfect. That's it for this episode,

898
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: a bar, thank you so much, but he would love

899
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 1: to have you back in here until next week. Rian

900
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 1: you do it best, Bark, get ready to roll your eyes.

901
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 1: Take away care of one another, love one another, and

902
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: we'll see you right back here for another episode of

903
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 1: How Men Think like that All