1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: Edge Podcast with Kelly Henderson. Hey everybody, So today I'm 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: filling in for Kelly. I am Caroline brian Um, just 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: filling in walk Kelly takes a few weeks off, which 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,080 Speaker 1: sweet Kelly needs. And today we're gonna talk to not 6 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,639 Speaker 1: only one of my best friends, but she's also my 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 1: sister in law. So this is Ellen Boyer. Say hello, Hey, 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: so Ellen, Oh my gosh, how long have you've been 9 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: married to my brother for twelve years? Twelve years? So 10 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: I guess I've known her for almost fifteen. And I 11 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: won't talk about the first night that I met her. 12 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: It involves an earring, but we will talk about that 13 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 1: today anyway. So I want to just dive on in. 14 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: If you haven't met or seeing Ellen on Instagram. She's 15 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: at Bright for Brett, and I'm going to ask her 16 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: to explain about Brett the Foundation, the Brett Boyer Foundation. 17 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: It's wonderful and so just hop on in. It's like 18 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: whatever you want to say, Okay, Well, I'm so excited 19 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,479 Speaker 1: to sit down with you today. I know I haven't 20 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: senior twelve hours. I told before I was telling you, Nicole, 21 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: I think it would be. This is my first time 22 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: really holding the mic, and I feel like we should 23 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 1: do our um version of the Delicious Dish from SNL 24 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: Shorty Balls. Yes, yes, Hi, I'm Patsy and I'm Caroline. 25 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: Welcome to what was it? The Delicious Dish? Delicious Dish? Um. 26 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: I don't know why that seems so much more applicable 27 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,199 Speaker 1: with the mics that the only thing about Mike Sitch 28 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: I think everybody hates is this sound. Oh God, I've 29 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 1: got gun in my mouth. Should I take that out? 30 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: Spit it out? You're trotting? Well, you can tell who 31 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: has kids when you're like here spit it out? Oh yeah, 32 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: I also did um. I had to bring l on 33 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: something because whatever I'm stopped and ask a question, it 34 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: always involves three things. A is pranks, be my mother 35 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: in law, and a lot of people ask me about 36 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: my big wine glasses. So I did. Here you go. 37 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: So I'm so sleep deprived. I'm like, fall right to sleep. 38 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: Now you won't? Fine? Okay, Sorry, we just we'll keep rambling. 39 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: So all right, So tell us about Brett and the Foundation. Um. Well, 40 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: Brett was born in and we found out when we 41 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: were pregnant with her, that she had congenital heart disease, 42 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 1: I mean she had a heart defect, and that she 43 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: had Down syndrome. Um. Really we didn't get confirmation that 44 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: she had Down syndrome n til after she was born, 45 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: but it was a probable diagnosis. And um, we were 46 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: in the hospital with her for a really long time 47 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 1: at Vanderbilt, a lot of things that we did not 48 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: expect to happen happened and really witnessed a lot of 49 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: things that we feel like we can continue her legacy 50 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: and to help spread her mission by helping making things 51 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: better that we had no idea where a problem before 52 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: she was born. UM. For instance, I always tell people, 53 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: when we got into the cardiac unit, we expected that 54 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: we would be the only parents in the world that 55 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: this had ever happened to, that there wouldn't be many 56 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: people up there, and the unit was packed out the 57 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 1: whole time. And when we were there, there were eighteen 58 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: pediatric cardiac SEU beds and they were all slam fulled. 59 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: And so it really opened our eyes to just how 60 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: common this is, how many kids really need help, how 61 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:34,079 Speaker 1: many families need support through diagnosis, through treatment, and certainly 62 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: for research, how underfunded it is. So that was you know, 63 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: y'all were with us there the whole time. We've been 64 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: so so fortunate to have y'all, you know, on the 65 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: board in our corner, helping us come up with every 66 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: single idea, and it's just catapulted things to to a 67 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: great opportunity to really impact a lot of families. So 68 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: very thankful. Well, you have a heart of gold. And um, 69 00:03:55,800 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: something I tell almost everybody who asked about Ellen in um, 70 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: I like to tell everybody this the story of Ellen, 71 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: because Ellen's heart is so big and you're just so kind. Um. 72 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: I was actually parking at a liquor store to buy 73 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: wine for a little a little party, and my phone 74 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,599 Speaker 1: rang and it was Ellen. You know, typically Ellen will 75 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: text or whatever, and so I answered, and she was 76 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 1: just squalling. So I knew something pretty bad or I mean, 77 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: something bad with was up. And I was like, calm down, 78 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: calm down, just tell me what's going on. And she said, 79 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: I just got back from the doctor and I found 80 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: out that Brett is going to have down Down syndrome. 81 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: And she was just Ellen never once said why me, 82 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: why us? I can't do this? The first words out 83 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: of your mouth, were I can't I can't imagine somebody 84 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: making fun of Brett. And that floored me because that's 85 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: just how selfish you are. I mean, you put everybody first, 86 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: and that that will forever stick in my head. Those 87 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: were your first words. Well honestly, like I remember you 88 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: and Keller telling me stories of that day, Like there's 89 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: so much of that day. I remember where I was. 90 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: I was out for a walk when we when I 91 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: heard back from the doctor. Um. But like so much 92 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: of that is such a blur. But like I mean, 93 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: you know, the whole journey. It took forever for us 94 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: to get pregnant with her, Like it was how many 95 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: years was it seven? Seven years that you have both 96 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 1: tried um seven rounds of i UI and she was 97 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: our first round of IVF. But yeah, I don't know, 98 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 1: there's just like that's part of our mission is to 99 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: spread Like I didn't know anybody with Down syndrome. That 100 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 1: would have made me feel better about seeing that she's not. 101 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: I mean, she's gonna fit right in with everybody, and 102 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: that it just took a while of talking to some 103 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 1: families that it just you know, it just took a 104 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: little while to process that diagnosis. I mean, everybody has 105 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 1: this image of your perfect child I use in air 106 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: quotes for the podcast, but this perfect child in your head, 107 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: and when somebody gives you a diagnosis that you don't understand, 108 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,160 Speaker 1: it feels like that dream is gone. And it just 109 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: took a while the process that things were going to 110 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: be a little bit different than we had planned. Um, 111 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: but now you know, like that was such a blessing. 112 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: I wish I had just soaked in the blessing and 113 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: glory of that diagnosis, because I mean, I just truly 114 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: believe she brought a peace of life to our family 115 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: that we never knew was missing. And oh, I will 116 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: forever thank God for that diagnosis. Never would I have 117 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: ever changed that about her. And that's that's a thing. 118 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: If you don't know somebody who has a person in 119 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: their life with Down syndrome, that's a common thing. You 120 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: call yourselves the lucky few. Where the lucky few that 121 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: can understand it's a fraternity. You can't understand what it's 122 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: like to be part of it until you are. And 123 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: then once you see it and understand, it's like, oh, 124 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: there is just something there there wasn't there before. And 125 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: you're so thankful for it. Yeah, it's it's just this 126 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: pure love that never changes. Yes, it never changes. And 127 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: Brett did bring She brought our family together in ways 128 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: that we didn't know or think would ever happen. And 129 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: so she's been she's been the biggest blessing for our 130 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: family and just continues to be. You know, like that 131 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: was It took a long time. That's one thing I've 132 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: always want to be honest, it took. I mean we 133 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: I feel like her whole pregnancy, we were dealing with 134 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: up down, up down, um test results from are you pregnant? 135 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: Are you not? She was a twin, but the twin 136 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: never got i mean past seven weeks and all those 137 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: different things. Where was it the twin that was testing 138 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,679 Speaker 1: for ds? It was just a lot of up and down. 139 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: But like it just her light and the fact that 140 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: she was exactly who she was supposed to be. It 141 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: just reveals a blessing one after the other and continues 142 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: to I mean she's been gone February will be five 143 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: years and I still feel like she teaches me something 144 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: new every day and just like there's characteristics that I 145 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: have that are just part of me, they're not exactly 146 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 1: who I am. They're just part of me. That's how 147 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: I understand Down syndrome. Now, it's not that's not who 148 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: she is, it's just part of part of her. Oh yeah, absolutely, 149 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: and also wants our family and especially Bow and yourself 150 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: wants everybody really embraced that Brett was going to be 151 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: born with Down syndrome. We didn't care. We just wanted 152 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: her here. Soon after that you got more news. Yes, 153 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: that's when we knew that she had her heart defect. 154 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: At first we thought it was small enough that wouldn't 155 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: require surgical repair. But when we found out it was 156 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,560 Speaker 1: definitely a full a V canal defect, meaning a hole 157 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: right in the middle involving both of our valves. That was, 158 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: I mean, that was I don't know, as traumatic as 159 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,839 Speaker 1: we can put into words. I guess, thinking that you're 160 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: gonna have to hand over your four month old baby 161 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,320 Speaker 1: to have open heart surgery. And like I said, I mean, 162 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 1: we just we felt so alone that like nobody else, 163 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,439 Speaker 1: surely nobody else has to do this. And that is 164 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: part of our mission too, is making sure that families 165 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: that receive a diagnosis, families that are going through it 166 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 1: now adults would see HD really see that we know 167 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 1: you're not alone. We're fighting with you, and and that 168 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: there's people in your corner. Yeah, well you guys certainly 169 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: did it and they're just well you too. No, but 170 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 1: it's different when it's your child. And the day that 171 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: you did have to hand over Brett, it's forever scarred. 172 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: And my head, I know it's in y'all's head too. 173 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: It was it was supposed to go smoothly. And I 174 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: was driving to the hospital or rainy day and I 175 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: was on the phone and both said everything's going smoothly. Um, 176 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,200 Speaker 1: I said, I'm coming up there. This was all of 177 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 1: course pre COVID. I get to the hospital and Ellen 178 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: as white as a ghost. It's just scared. And then 179 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 1: you got more news. We're gonna do an echo, make 180 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: sure everything looks great. You know, we're all in there celebrating, 181 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 1: thinking all as well. And um. The echo showed that 182 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: after the surgery, it made her mitral valve. She really 183 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 1: showed how um weak that her valve really was, and 184 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: so ultimately she needed that valve replaced. But they don't 185 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 1: make them for newborns, they don't make them for anybody 186 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 1: as small as she was. Her um annualists for that 187 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: was about ten millimeters and they don't make them that small. 188 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 1: And hearing that they like my feeble brain, all I 189 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: could understand was, so they make them, they just don't 190 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: make them that small, and you know you and I've 191 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 1: had this conversation with Dr Mitler and our um our 192 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: team like why, And that was the thing that rocked 193 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: us the most, as he was like, it's not financially, 194 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: there's not a financial return to make them that small, 195 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: which is which the worst thing to hear with out 196 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 1: of how can you put a price tag on a child? Yeah, human, 197 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: especially an innocent child. When then there's the parts that 198 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,960 Speaker 1: I'm slowly you know, it's just taken years of being 199 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,839 Speaker 1: able to process how it all went down, process how 200 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,079 Speaker 1: I can How can I because to me, that is 201 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: just unacceptable and so it's taken a while to see. Also, 202 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: if they had replaced her valve, like right now, there's 203 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: nothing that can grow with them, so she would have 204 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: she would have had to have probably for additional open 205 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,439 Speaker 1: heart surgeries to replace once she outgrew that. If there, 206 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 1: if there even was an option, that's small and so 207 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 1: that's that's the thing we really want to put in 208 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: some research, How can it without having to have an 209 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: open heart surgery to replace it each and every time? 210 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 1: Can this be something that's dilated via cath and how 211 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: can we make things less invasive? Because ultimately Bred ended 212 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: up having two open heart surgeries. Her second was a success, 213 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: but it was the trauma of open heart surgery that 214 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: ended up. What we lost her too, was all of 215 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: it together from just a trickle down effect of the 216 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: trauma of what we had to do to fight for 217 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: her life. And so if we can figure out how 218 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 1: to make that better, I feel more than confident that 219 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: somebody else has more options today than we had four 220 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: years ago. Yes, and we I mean, we've talked about 221 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: that with the doctors that but I think Bread really 222 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 1: helped push that forward. I know, but it's I mean, 223 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 1: don't you think that's the only a We're able to 224 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:06,440 Speaker 1: push forward and continue like to be It's hard to 225 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,199 Speaker 1: say that I'm I don't know that I'll ever say 226 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: I'm thankful for what happened to her. Certainly not I um, 227 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: but thankful that I have the honor of being that 228 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: kid's mom is I will never stop being thankful for 229 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: that and to know that she made a way for 230 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: somebody else, is truly I mean, what keeps us fighting 231 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:33,199 Speaker 1: through all of the stuff. No, she's we always said, 232 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: you know, during your pregnancy, we would get around call 233 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: her Queen Bee, which she's still as Queen Bee. You know, 234 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 1: move over, Beyonce. There's a new cue being down. And 235 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 1: we always said, you know, when things started happening and 236 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 1: our family became closer and certain things happened, we always 237 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: said that she was going to change the world, and 238 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 1: she really is. I mean, she's Brett's doing something different 239 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: every day to make improvements with HOSS pittles and doctors 240 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,319 Speaker 1: and c h D awareness of Down syndrome and how 241 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 1: wonderful it is, and these wonderful children and adults that 242 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:13,679 Speaker 1: just know nothing but love and just one thing I 243 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,920 Speaker 1: always like to say about kids, like people with Down 244 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: syndermem like a lot of different things that even I 245 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: sometimes we'll see adults with down to like Ruby's Rainbows 246 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: helping kids with Down toderim go to college, and it's 247 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 1: like we've all been conditioned to think that they can't 248 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 1: do certain things. But it's like, would you know how 249 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: to drive a car if nobody ever taught you? If 250 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 1: somebody just assumed you'll never know how so I'm not 251 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: even gonna try, you know, So there's something that I 252 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 1: still can't do math I still had all my fingers. Um. 253 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: But it's like once we break down those barriers of 254 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: there's nothing that you can't do, I mean, and they 255 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: believe it too, and we all see they I mean, 256 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: look at Chris Nakts, I mean, come on here. He 257 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: does more in a training session every morning than I've 258 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: done on my biggest day. Is an athle ris Um. 259 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: How old is Chris? He's twenty two down syndrome and 260 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 1: he's an iron man, iron man, iron man. He kicked 261 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: my button and he's rocking out those push ups. Jim 262 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 1: Willis was like, Chris is a I mean in his family. 263 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: So he's a phenomenal person. He's just truly an inspiration 264 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: on every level um, every level of life. He is. 265 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: And so are you anything else you want to add 266 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: about Brett or anything? Well, you want to talk about 267 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: the barn. Oh, yes, we can talk about the barn. Um. Okay, 268 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 1: So we do have a barn. Currently, it's on my 269 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 1: family's farm and so it's not open to the public. Someday, 270 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: hopefully we will have a public barn. But we after 271 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 1: Brett passed away. Well, when Brett was alive, I was 272 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: kidding with her, just whole her, and I said, I'll 273 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 1: give you whatever you want, and I'll buy you a 274 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: white pony. Well that you know, it was a joke 275 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: with my brother because he was like, well, yea, and 276 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 1: we have a quarter of an acre in the backyard. 277 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: In the backyard. But anyway, so after Brett passed and 278 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 1: anybody who knows our entire family, we're that family that 279 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 1: has gone through so much tragedy and trauma that um, 280 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: we've lost Luke's brother, sister, brother in law, and each 281 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: of those deaths, Luke and I have been so involved 282 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 1: with children are just helping out that that's kind of 283 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 1: how we dealt with it. Well, when Brett passed away, 284 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: I was just watching you and both suffer and I 285 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know how to 286 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: help because I couldn't. One day I got a phone 287 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: call from a dear friend of ours and she's she 288 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: volunteers at a rescue bar in Jackson, Tennessee, and she said, 289 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: we just rescued a white miniature pony and a black pony. 290 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: Do you want it, I'm holding it because I talked 291 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: about a white pony and I said yes. Two days 292 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: later we get a goat two ponies, and I turned 293 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,439 Speaker 1: Luke's hunting barn into a rescue barn, so I had 294 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,919 Speaker 1: I had awesome people working around the clock to defense 295 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 1: it in and those three animals now we have almost thirty. 296 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 1: So it's our way of dealing with all the emotional hurt. 297 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: And we do have families who come out, and to 298 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 1: watch those parents breathe while the kids play like children 299 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: should is awesome. I think with all of the loss too. 300 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: I mean, anybody that's experienced loss, No, there's this love 301 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 1: that you don't know what to do with like and 302 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:00,639 Speaker 1: it's a place I've seen everybody pour love into that 303 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: brings happiness. And it's so important. Not that I'm any 304 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 1: expert on how to deal with things, because there's certainly 305 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: a lot of ways that I know that I deal 306 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:12,159 Speaker 1: with this that's not healthy. But I do think that 307 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: the healthiest thing you can do is find a way 308 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 1: to pour love into something positive that's a blessing on 309 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 1: other people, and it feels your cut back up it 310 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: to make other people happy, to see those animals happy. 311 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: I mean, it's just blessing after blessing, and um, the 312 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: bees being out there. I just there's there's absolutely no 313 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 1: coincidence and no doubt in my mind that her she 314 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: is there and shining on that and is so grateful 315 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 1: for the work that you pour into it, that you 316 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: all pour into it, Nicole and Karen, and I'm saying 317 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 1: that it's okay. When did my watch start making noise 318 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: during a podcast? Because that's what happens during the delicious dishes? 319 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 1: Do you want to try my ball? I've heard they're 320 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: nice and that can go on the blooper rol Um. Okay, 321 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 1: where are we at? Um about the barn Um? Yeah? Well, 322 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,479 Speaker 1: as long as you know this and as long as 323 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,719 Speaker 1: people out there no and I go through I mean, 324 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: I suffer from anxiety, and I'm I've never been your fine. 325 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:26,440 Speaker 1: Her wife keeps going off, You're like, or you can 326 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 1: throw it? Okay? Um, Well, as long I mean you 327 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 1: know and as long as everybody out there knows that there, 328 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,399 Speaker 1: you're never going to deal with things a perfect I 329 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 1: mean I suffer from anxiety. People who are close to 330 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: me know that. Um, I'm not ashamed of it. It 331 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: came from you know, just trauma with our family. I've 332 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: never had anxiety as a child, but after Luke's sister passed, 333 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: that's when it kicked in. And when you see how 334 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,439 Speaker 1: fragile life is, oh yeah, and it's you know, I 335 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 1: have different ways of dealing with it. Some some days, weeks, 336 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: even a month, I'm perfect. I feel like I'm on 337 00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: it and then you can spiral, and it takes a 338 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 1: while to come out of the hole, but you can. 339 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:20,439 Speaker 1: I mean, but nobody's gonna ever do anything present perfect. 340 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,679 Speaker 1: I think when you're just such a strong, independent you 341 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 1: love to take care of other people, it's going to 342 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,880 Speaker 1: sneak attack you because your focus is on other people, 343 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: which is so such a valuable characteristic that everybody loves. 344 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 1: But like, eventually you can't. You have to deal. You 345 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 1: have to stop. You have to stop and take care 346 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 1: of yourself. And as moms that's really almost as impossible, 347 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: but you have to learn. Okay, I just need a 348 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,160 Speaker 1: day off. I'm going to take the kids to school 349 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,119 Speaker 1: and I'm going to have a mental day and that 350 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 1: that helps me. I hate doing that because I feel 351 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 1: like I feel ashamed. That's your anagram number. I do 352 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: that too. Even though I'm a nine that they say 353 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: can have a slothful side, I do not know. I 354 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 1: do not rest easily. I mean, i'll I notice it 355 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: in my number of that I'll them out and I 356 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: like to do productive things that don't require my thinking. 357 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 1: But I cannot lay around. No, I don't know how good. 358 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 1: I mean maybe once a year I really have to 359 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: be down. Yeah, and I think I did it more 360 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: before kids, I guess, but no, there it's I will 361 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,239 Speaker 1: the guilt that would come over me from that, and 362 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 1: I do not know why, because it's definitely necessary, but 363 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 1: I just have to. I mean, I'm getting a lot 364 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,720 Speaker 1: better about not feeling as guilty. I still feel guilty 365 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 1: and I'm working on that, but I do think it's 366 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: but it's okay to just flock out for a minute totally. 367 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 1: So to make time for it. That's what I have 368 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,200 Speaker 1: to do, is say I'm gonna do this tomorrow and 369 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,679 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna feel bad about it, and then you 370 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 1: try to fight not feel good abou Yeah that I'm 371 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 1: sitting there being like I could start cleaning something. Here 372 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: we go, A man, what a mess I am? We're 373 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 1: all a mess. And it's okay. It's okay, embrace it. Yeah, 374 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:15,160 Speaker 1: I'm trying to well. One thing um that I'm definitely 375 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 1: beyond proud of with Brett's, with the foundation, with the 376 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 1: ways speaking of anxiety and everything. When we were impatient, 377 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: I had this, I mean like when people would try 378 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: to prepare me for things that Brett may or may 379 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: not ever do. I really was not opening open to 380 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: hear it at all. I wanted to be like, she'll 381 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 1: do We'll tell her she can do whatever she wants to, 382 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 1: just like we were saying before. And um so it 383 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 1: came so protective of her. I definitely couldn't think about 384 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 1: myself and Bo was even more so. Um So, we've 385 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,120 Speaker 1: really been working with the team about no matter how 386 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: strong you think you can be for other people, there 387 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 1: are things that you see in those walls of that hospital, 388 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 1: and especially when it's your own kid or like in 389 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,920 Speaker 1: your when you're the aunt and you're there my mom 390 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,360 Speaker 1: has I mean all of our family, you know, witness 391 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: so many things that you're like, I can't deal with 392 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: that right now because I've got to be here for 393 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: that person. Um our goal. What we feel like is 394 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:23,119 Speaker 1: is a component that's missing from treatment is mental and 395 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 1: emotional support while you receive a diagnosis of c h 396 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: D and completely through prepping somebody of this is what's 397 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,240 Speaker 1: gonna happen. You're gonna get alarm fatigue about day four. 398 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 1: You can fight it, you might make it today, six 399 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: or seven, but congratulations, it's coming. I mean like there's 400 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,880 Speaker 1: no way to avoid it. And the goal is that 401 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 1: it gets to be the standard of care that hospitals 402 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,120 Speaker 1: are ranked, whether or not they provide that for their families, 403 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,919 Speaker 1: because I truly believe with all of my heart, the 404 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:58,199 Speaker 1: healthier we all are mentally, emotionally, the better caretakers we 405 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 1: can be. And it's gonna make a you're a better 406 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 1: physical outcome for that patient if their mental and emotional 407 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 1: needs are taken care of because they're surrounded by a 408 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:18,479 Speaker 1: healthier environment. Our goal is for it to be, oh, 409 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 1: you're gonna meet these people. This is your cardiologist, and 410 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,640 Speaker 1: we're gonna check your blood pressure because we know that's 411 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 1: what's good for you. You don't fight it when somebody asked, 412 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,359 Speaker 1: you cannot take your blood pressure because we've been told 413 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,679 Speaker 1: this is smart, this is we need to know. This 414 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,400 Speaker 1: is a component. To keep tabs of where you are 415 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 1: in a healthy place and the goal is to where 416 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: it is. And now you're gonna meet your surgeon, and 417 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 1: now you're gonna meet your mental health specialists because you 418 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 1: need it. Yeah, and that was actually very shocking when 419 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 1: Brett was in the hospital. You know, I would go 420 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: out there every day if I could, just to see 421 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 1: you and bow and hold Brett's hand. But there was 422 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: no mental health specialist, and well not that I saw 423 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,800 Speaker 1: or Matt. They had social workers, but social workers are 424 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: and they're phenomenal, and they're still there. They still were 425 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: still in touch. Just wonderful. But um, when a parent, 426 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: parent or parents and siblings get thrown into something like 427 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 1: what you went through, and even the even the siblings 428 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 1: they need because their parents are torn from their house. 429 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 1: I mean, these parents lose their jobs because they're at 430 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 1: the hospital seven, they're torn from their home with other 431 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,400 Speaker 1: siblings that the siblings don't know how to process why 432 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 1: isn't mom here or why isn't dad here? Why isn't 433 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: my brother or sister here? So it's so important to 434 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 1: really not only help parents, but the siblings and parents 435 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 1: who don't know what is going on, because no, we 436 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 1: didn't know what was going on totally you don't know 437 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 1: how to support each other either, like I didn't know 438 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 1: what can I do? Yeah? So but Ellen is really 439 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: you're doing a time to help that and thank you, 440 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,160 Speaker 1: I hope. So, I mean, and you know, we had 441 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,119 Speaker 1: Brett for just seven months. So there's a lot of 442 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 1: things too that I want to dig in with people 443 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,439 Speaker 1: that have been fighting this for twenty five years, like 444 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 1: where where do you see that we can help you? 445 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: Where do you see that the system needs to change? 446 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: Because the doctor's, nurses, surgeons, I mean, everybody, they're so awesome, 447 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 1: but they also but they also don't necessarily see it 448 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,639 Speaker 1: from that perspective, and so um, there's got to be 449 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 1: a defense mechanism for all of them too, because they're 450 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,200 Speaker 1: just literally they're getting their heartbroken every day, I mean, 451 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,360 Speaker 1: and so for them to be able to go home 452 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 1: and be a normal mom, dad, whatever, wife, husband, everything, 453 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,239 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that they have to figure out 454 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,399 Speaker 1: how to preserve their own emotional health. So that's the thing. 455 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,679 Speaker 1: I mean, when you have somebody that is trained to 456 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 1: be able to support somebody through it, I really think 457 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,040 Speaker 1: it's going to make a huge difference. And it's a 458 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: way that we can go into an institution and know 459 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 1: that each family is getting cared for and that they're 460 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,359 Speaker 1: feeling the impact that we want to give them. So 461 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 1: we're starting that at Vanderbilt. And after the success of 462 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,120 Speaker 1: Repper Games, about to just go knock on every door 463 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,880 Speaker 1: of every hospital and that offers open heart surgery. Why not, Yeah, 464 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: let's do it. I mean, after Tim Tebow's speech, I'm ready. 465 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 1: I'm ready to walk like children's well. I mean we 466 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's a joke, but I'm kind of 467 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 1: believing it more and more. We're like Tim Tebow is 468 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: God's favorite child, but he's a wonderful human and he 469 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: maybe demmy, I don't know. They're they're right there. That's 470 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 1: why they're married, because they're both just the best humans 471 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 1: and they always show up. They always they always give. 472 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: I mean, he's given his heisman. I mean, like, I 473 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 1: mean a man's probably most prize. Oh yeah, I guess 474 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,720 Speaker 1: the trophy, but I mean and took it and turned 475 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 1: it into literally an inspiration for every single person that 476 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: laid eyes on him. Was like, I can do more. 477 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 1: I should, I can do more. I can be more 478 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:08,160 Speaker 1: than I am. I mean, what a gift Tim. Tim's speech, 479 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 1: the other night, everybody floored, crying and often and ready 480 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 1: to just go help out. I mean I I thought 481 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,199 Speaker 1: about what I was gonna say for like two weeks, 482 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,639 Speaker 1: and I got up there and said I carried a 483 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 1: watermelon and then left. And he's like, wait, you need this, Okay, 484 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 1: how about I'll inspire everybody to be better. Yeah, he's 485 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 1: just that nice human. I'm just unbelievably not But um, anyway, 486 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 1: so we're gonna wrap up. I know this was hard 487 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 1: to talk about. Is there anything else that you want 488 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 1: to talk about? Um? I think that's I think that's 489 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 1: It's a lot. So I'm just I'm honored every time 490 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 1: I get to say her name. And I know everybody, 491 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: like grieves completely different. So I'm always bow and I 492 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: have great you know that obviously, but Bo and I 493 00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:01,959 Speaker 1: have grieved completely different. It gives me so much life 494 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,000 Speaker 1: fulfillment to talk about her. I want to say her name, 495 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: just like everybody's aching to talk about their kids, telling 496 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: you what they're doing. Uh. I love every second of that. 497 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 1: But I also always want to be respectful of the 498 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: fact that not everybody grieves this way. And I always 499 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 1: I mean, since Bo's not on social media, But I 500 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: always want to be respectful. There's a lot of people 501 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 1: that grieve the same way he does. His is so 502 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 1: it's so hard for him to talk about. And it's 503 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,440 Speaker 1: not that he's not I mean, more proud than any 504 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: dad could ever be. Um, it's just hard for him 505 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 1: to talk about and keep his composure and for it 506 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 1: not to bleed out in pain of every aspect of 507 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: his life. And so I'm always just want to be 508 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 1: respectful when people will hear that, like, oh, she sounds 509 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: really positive. Um, I'm not always positive that. But also 510 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 1: it's okay to not grieve the same way as each other. 511 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 1: I mean, and um, yeah, no, that's everybody's different as 512 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: long as you're grieving and I mean in a positive 513 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,320 Speaker 1: way and you are allowing yourself to grieve. I mean, 514 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 1: there are days where it's it is okay to not 515 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 1: be okay. I learned that a long time ago. And 516 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 1: and but you're you're doing wonderful stuff. Well alway, y'all's 517 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:33,080 Speaker 1: incredible help. Well, this has been deep, and so I 518 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 1: know it's been hard and deep. I know it's not 519 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: easy for Ellen to talk about all this. So I 520 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,960 Speaker 1: wanted to end it on um a little game I 521 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: like to play. It's harmless. I've played it with you before. 522 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 1: Is that word? Who is your daddy? And what does 523 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 1: he do? Yes? Here she calls everybody. No, it's the 524 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 1: word association game. Okay. So Ellen loves rap music and 525 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: she is actually a very talented rapper. So but I 526 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,520 Speaker 1: won't make her out right now. I'll say that for later. 527 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,360 Speaker 1: But I'm going to say a word and you have 528 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 1: to name the first rap song that comes to your head. Okay, 529 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 1: and I think I know which one. I'm gonna start 530 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 1: off with. Dear God Cracker, um uncle Cracker. Well, I 531 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: was hoping she's say missy she Day, That's what I 532 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: was going for. Saltshaker shaking like a sawtshaker. Booger oh 533 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:36,160 Speaker 1: mm hmm. I don't know. All I'm thinking is Booger 534 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,479 Speaker 1: bottom in Albany for some reason. And here comes our 535 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 1: dog he is Hi? Tell him by Chalk Bobby Man. 536 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Well, thank you all for everything, and I'll 537 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: see you soon, Kelly. Thank you for letting me. Yeah, 538 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 1: I guest host, and thank you Ellen for being on here. 539 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 1: Thank you Chalk for interrupting and jump all right, thank 540 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 1: you guys. Hope you have a good day, see you 541 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 1: next time. Bye. Thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge 542 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,920 Speaker 1: podcast with Kelly Henderson, where we believe everyone has a 543 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 1: little velvet and a little edge. Subscribe for more conversations 544 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 1: on life, style, beauty and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever 545 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts.