Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Overcomfort podcast. You guys. I am
Speaker 1: your host, Jennaa Lopez.
Speaker 2: Thank you guys so much for choosing to watch and
Speaker 2: listen to this episode from wherever you guys are at.
Speaker 2: I am super excited because we're gonna have a cute
Speaker 2: girl chat with one of my gorgeous friends, Balt Torres.
Speaker 2: She's been on the podcast before, she was on season two,
Speaker 2: and absolutely, I mean, I don't like talking in third person,
Speaker 2: but I do love her. I love her and who
Speaker 2: she is and what she stands for and believes in.
Speaker 2: And she's also I feel like she's very wise because
Speaker 2: how old are you.
Speaker 3: You're like two, I'm twenty two.
Speaker 1: Yes, very wise, very mature for her age.
Speaker 2: And I wanted to have this topic because you have
Speaker 2: your own podcast obviously, Yes, My best Self your best self?
Speaker 3: Which one? Is it? My bestlf?
Speaker 1: My best self? Because I was like, your best self
Speaker 1: of my best self?
Speaker 2: Either way, I was like, it's the same thing, my
Speaker 2: best self, which congratulations for that. I love, love, love
Speaker 2: what you're promoting there, what your conversations are about, because
Speaker 2: I feel like it's very genuine to who you are,
Speaker 2: and I feel like.
Speaker 1: This could be like a little collab. We're going to
Speaker 1: talk about having high standards. Is it being picky or
Speaker 1: are we being picky? Or are we And I look,
Speaker 1: I personally feel like it's a girl like girls should
Speaker 1: have high standards.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, But We're gonna get to the nitty gritty
Speaker 2: and I'm excited and I wanted to have this conversation
Speaker 2: with bout because I feel like we've been pretty single
Speaker 2: for a good minute and we're very specific about who
Speaker 2: we want to talk to, who we date.
Speaker 1: We don't have time to mess around. And I remember
Speaker 1: like in our.
Speaker 2: Last episode that we did together, we were talking about
Speaker 2: soul ties and the importance of that. So whatever, that's
Speaker 2: what we're gonna be talking about today. And hopefully you
Speaker 2: guys can take something from this because I feel like
Speaker 2: it's important.
Speaker 1: I feel like if there's anything that.
Speaker 2: Anybody could take from this episode, I feel like it's
Speaker 2: knowing you're worth, yes, right, because I feel like, and
Speaker 2: I don't know about you, and I'll let you speak
Speaker 2: and how you how you discovered your worth. But for me,
Speaker 2: a lot of people I've seen, I've noticed people that
Speaker 2: they find their worth in men or in a relationship,
Speaker 2: and apart from that, and I used. I used to
Speaker 2: do that when I was younger, because that's all I
Speaker 2: ever knew, you know, like when I grew up, like
Speaker 2: I would see multiple relationships and.
Speaker 3: It's all that you're fed to exactly like the Disney
Speaker 3: princesses exactly. This is just like all about relationship.
Speaker 2: And especially like in Hispanic culture, you got to be
Speaker 2: submissive to the man or type, you know, like just
Speaker 2: take whatever you can get and just you know, move forward.
Speaker 2: But it's like we're in a new generation, we're changing
Speaker 2: things up. Let's talk about what are the standards for
Speaker 2: each other?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay? Or standards? Okay, I'm gonna say my standards,
Speaker 3: but I'm not gonna go too deep because another thing
Speaker 3: the girls need to know is you can never just
Speaker 3: say your standards to a man, because then you literally
Speaker 3: give them the cheat code of like Okay, I know
Speaker 3: exactly what she's looking for. I know exactly how to act.
Speaker 2: How to present yourself to like, yeah, how if he's
Speaker 2: watching this, he knows how to really win.
Speaker 3: And it's a lie, which is very dangerous because there
Speaker 3: are like I'm not saying all men are bad, but
Speaker 3: there are men out there who are gonna use that
Speaker 3: against you, and who are you know gonna have that
Speaker 3: type of intention towards you? Of course, But I would
Speaker 3: say my standards are just in general obviously a kind person,
Speaker 3: a respectful person, who is ready to prioritize a relationship,
Speaker 3: which honestly, I don't even know if I'm ready at
Speaker 3: that because your stage yet. Yes, So that's like, that's
Speaker 3: part of it, as well as I want somebody, you know,
Speaker 3: I want to be a mother in the future, right,
Speaker 3: so I want somebody who's going to be an amazing dad,
Speaker 3: somebody who's going to be able to take care of
Speaker 3: our family, somebody that I can rely on. Those are just, like,
Speaker 3: I guess, kind of a few points. Yeah, those are
Speaker 3: like the main pinpoints. I don't think I'm very like, oh,
Speaker 3: like he has to be super attractive and super this
Speaker 3: and that. I think it's like someone that I have
Speaker 3: a connection with, who shares my values and who, yeah,
Speaker 3: who will fit into my life and I'll fit into
Speaker 3: their life.
Speaker 1: Okay, I agree, I completely agree. There's something different obviously about.
Speaker 2: Physical and then emotional. Yeah, my main thing is obviously emotional.
Speaker 2: And then I'll and then we'll.
Speaker 1: Talk about.
Speaker 2: Because you know, obviously I think physical is the is
Speaker 2: the picky part, Like if we're getting too like technical,
Speaker 2: like oh he doesn't have straight teeth, no babes like bye, no,
Speaker 2: but you know what I mean, Like that's the picky part.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely agree.
Speaker 2: I think that along with the being a good dad
Speaker 2: because obviously you don't know until obviously you have, yeah,
Speaker 2: your kids, and you don't know. But I feel what
Speaker 2: is a good example and that you could see from
Speaker 2: the bat, like, oh, this man's gonna be a good
Speaker 2: dad is the way he treats his mom.
Speaker 3: That's yeah, that's very hard.
Speaker 2: As nieces and nephews or some type of you know,
Speaker 2: how he is around kids. You know, because I have
Speaker 2: a bunch of nieces and nephews and maybe that man doesn't,
Speaker 2: you know. So it's all about how you treat them.
Speaker 2: And that's like the biggest, like one of the flags
Speaker 2: for me, Like if you do not treat your mother right,
Speaker 2: I feel like it's like it shows a lot, it.
Speaker 3: Shows your level. I think it really also shows well,
Speaker 3: everybody's situation is different, but like you should never be
Speaker 3: treating your mom bad, regardless of what it is.
Speaker 1: Like, if you need to make abounds.
Speaker 3: Then that's different, but yeah, you should be respectful. And
Speaker 3: I think it just also shows how much they respect
Speaker 3: women in general. And it's like, if you don't respect
Speaker 3: your mom, do you respect exactly?
Speaker 1: Which is the one thing that I always look.
Speaker 2: For, like how do you how do you treat or
Speaker 2: how do you respect your parents? Like, you know, how's
Speaker 2: your relationship with them? I know it sounds like getting
Speaker 2: too deep, but it's it's really, it's really how it is.
Speaker 2: Because let's say his relationship with his dad is is
Speaker 2: not the best. I feel like that's where ego and
Speaker 2: pride a lot of bitterness. Like you're built, you have anger,
Speaker 2: you know. So it's kind of like then word is
Speaker 2: that fault? Like you take it out on me or
Speaker 2: you'll take it on take it out on whoever.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 1: So the way you treat your parents, for sure, that's.
Speaker 3: A big one, just like the way they even the
Speaker 3: way they treat women as a whole and speak about
Speaker 3: women as a whole, like, for example, I something that
Speaker 3: has made me cut somebody off in the past. This
Speaker 3: wasn't the only thing they did, but it was like
Speaker 3: they would refer to women as the B word, like general,
Speaker 3: and I was like wait, Like, I don't like that.
Speaker 3: That doesn't sit right with me. It just kind of
Speaker 3: shows like, why don't you respect women? So you only
Speaker 3: respect the women that you like, care about or that
Speaker 3: are like close to you, but not women as a whole. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's honestly, that's a huge red flag.
Speaker 2: Okay, but how about if they're if he's talking to
Speaker 2: his boys in the group, like in their group chat.
Speaker 3: No, I think that's horrible. I don't know. I just
Speaker 3: feel like, why would you refer to women as that? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Do you do you agree or do you feel like
Speaker 3: you would? I?
Speaker 2: No, I agree, I feel like no, I just I
Speaker 2: can't even make it like because I'd like to see
Speaker 2: like both ways. I'm like, that's why I asked, like
Speaker 2: in the group chat, like maybe he's just talking to
Speaker 2: his guys, but I like, even your boys, you shouldn't
Speaker 2: even be talking.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. And like in my past relationship and in
Speaker 3: other like you know, situations that I've been in, I've
Speaker 3: never had to like deal with the man just like
Speaker 3: texting his friends in that way, So I see it
Speaker 3: as like for someone to do that, just yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't think that's someone I would ever want to So.
Speaker 2: With I feel like it is disrespectful because it's like
Speaker 2: if his friend is saying something about me or something
Speaker 2: about somebody else, that's kind of like you are who
Speaker 2: you hang around. Yes, I feel like I truly believe
Speaker 2: in that. And I'm if you hang around cheaters, if
Speaker 2: you're hang around with people like.
Speaker 3: That's big too.
Speaker 1: Why do you feel comfortable? Like you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, But then I don't know.
Speaker 2: Sometimes that's that's I feel like that's the librit in me,
Speaker 2: or that's no find the way like ballots are understanding
Speaker 2: the other side of things.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah, yeah, I see, But I agree with
Speaker 3: you though, Like I just feel like if like, if
Speaker 3: a man is comfortable to be around people that act
Speaker 3: that way, then you are, like you said, you are
Speaker 3: who you hang around. And it's like I guess it
Speaker 3: can be you can may maybe seem like picky because
Speaker 3: of it, Like I guess this is where we get
Speaker 3: into like being picky. But it's like then I'm gonna
Speaker 3: be picky, I guess because I just there's certain things
Speaker 3: that you just don't want to put up with. And
Speaker 3: then I feel like also we're indoctrinated to just accept
Speaker 3: whatever we want. I mean, whatever, whatever we get, you
Speaker 3: just accept it. So it's like you have to kind
Speaker 3: of question things a little bit like Okay, is this
Speaker 3: actually right? Like or have I just been fed that narrative?
Speaker 1: Like have I been manipulated?
Speaker 3: Am I two used to this exactly? Like oh yeah,
Speaker 3: like it's normal for men to treat women this way,
Speaker 3: like it's normal for guys to have these conversations about women.
Speaker 3: When it's like is that really normal? Is that really like?
Speaker 3: Or maybe it's normalized but it's not. Doesn't mean we
Speaker 3: have to accept it exactly.
Speaker 2: And I think it depends on certain situations like the
Speaker 2: way people were raised or the way, you know, the
Speaker 2: experiences they had growing up, which goes into like, you know,
Speaker 2: maybe my next thing.
Speaker 1: How do you feel? Because I've been single for okay,
Speaker 1: let's say like.
Speaker 2: Four years now, three four years now, but obviously in
Speaker 2: between dating, have you ever seen yourself?
Speaker 1: Maybe I have, and I'm just maybe I'm getting.
Speaker 2: To a point where it's like, okay, girl, you're like
Speaker 2: twenty seven, like when you know, are.
Speaker 1: You having to I know? But you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: It's like you.
Speaker 2: Get to a point where it's like, at this point,
Speaker 2: I want to start feeling like I would love to
Speaker 2: receive flowers.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Obviously, I know I could buy myself flowers and I
Speaker 2: could do, but like there's sometimes or there's times where
Speaker 2: I do miss like the little cute things or whatever.
Speaker 2: But then I remember, I'm like, if this is what
Speaker 2: I'm asking for, that's all I'm gonna get. I have
Speaker 2: to think about, like, Okay, the man that I want
Speaker 2: is in the process of is getting prepared, like he's
Speaker 2: you know, maybe doing something, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So it's like, have you cause how.
Speaker 3: Long have you been seeing that I've been single for
Speaker 3: a little bit over two years.
Speaker 1: But dating in between talking to like, yeah, I've been
Speaker 1: dating a little bit, but concrete official yeah, nothing official.
Speaker 3: I yeah, I've been very very single. Yeah, so very
Speaker 3: much single. Like right now I'm literally like I'm not
Speaker 3: dating anybody, not talking to anybody, not like on any
Speaker 3: dating not anything at the moment.
Speaker 1: Have you been on dating apps?
Speaker 3: I have? I haven't. It was like an interesting experience.
Speaker 3: It's weird.
Speaker 2: I don't know, We're gonna go on a quick break
Speaker 2: and we'll be right back without the welcome back you guys.
Speaker 1: No, but I've been on it.
Speaker 2: Been on it too, and I'm just like, it's it's
Speaker 2: a weird dating apps, I feel like, because realistically they do.
Speaker 1: There's really hard to.
Speaker 2: Find the ones that don't just want to hook up
Speaker 2: and you know, and then I'm very specific and I
Speaker 2: feel like maybe you can agree or maybe not, but
Speaker 2: I feel like the man that I kind of look for.
Speaker 1: I don't want.
Speaker 2: Maybe this is being picky again, but I don't feel
Speaker 2: like I want somebody in the same industry as me,
Speaker 2: like influencer or you know, I want like picky again,
Speaker 2: but whatever, like someone businesses, like I feel like owning
Speaker 2: your own business or something smarter, you know, like you
Speaker 2: have to be influencing and all this stuff. It's not
Speaker 2: gonna last forever, right, And then that goes into me
Speaker 2: feeling secure and safe, Like how are you going to
Speaker 2: like make me feel safe and secure also financially, you know,
Speaker 2: if we because I'm dating.
Speaker 1: To marry at this point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I don't want to. I'm not just dating
Speaker 2: to like mess around. So I feel like that's where
Speaker 2: financial security comes in, Like I want to be able
Speaker 2: to be with somebody that has maybe a little bit
Speaker 2: more what I can offer because I feel like I
Speaker 2: personally bring a lot to the table.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that. I know that I do.
Speaker 2: I know how to be a good girlfriend, wife, whatever.
Speaker 2: I could cook clean, I have my own house, I
Speaker 2: have my own business, Like, I pay my own bills.
Speaker 2: I'm not asking for that, but I just want to
Speaker 2: be able to Like.
Speaker 3: You want to be like a feminine woman around it man.
Speaker 3: You want your man to be able to take the lead,
Speaker 3: and you want him to be I feel like women,
Speaker 3: what we really want is someone that's better than us
Speaker 3: exactly because if they're not, then it's like and not
Speaker 3: to say that, like how can I word this.
Speaker 2: We don't want to be better than them, Like we
Speaker 2: don't like respectfully like in like like we don't want.
Speaker 1: To be doing better then exactly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't want to be doing better then the man.
Speaker 3: And then also because it's like it goes into things
Speaker 3: like when a man is maybe at a different level
Speaker 3: than you, like let's say, for example, financially or even
Speaker 3: sometimes it could be like looks wise for the girls
Speaker 3: who like give guys a chance without like really caring
Speaker 3: about their looks. It's like also then a man can
Speaker 3: become insecure, and that can cause a lot of problems
Speaker 3: in the relationship. And I think that's also another reason
Speaker 3: why as women, we naturally are inclined to want a
Speaker 3: man who can be that like that man that we want,
Speaker 3: you know, that can be like a protector for us
Speaker 3: and who can make us feel safe and comfortable. I
Speaker 3: don't think there's anything wrong with wanting that, honestly.
Speaker 2: No, and I and that's why I'm like, maybe that's
Speaker 2: why I'm still sick of it.
Speaker 1: It's like no, but it's like I think about him
Speaker 1: like I can't accept You know why.
Speaker 3: It's because you give it to yourself. Yes, you give
Speaker 3: that to yourself. You provide this lifestyle for yourself. You
Speaker 3: work hard, you do you upkeep yourself physically, mentally, like
Speaker 3: I'm sure even spiritually, in all these different ways. So
Speaker 3: it's like if you have to match or exactly you
Speaker 3: have to add to my life. Because also, you know,
Speaker 3: when you're in a relationship, you naturally give a lot
Speaker 3: of yourself. You give a lot of your time, you
Speaker 3: give a lot of your energy. You give so much.
Speaker 3: And as women, we naturally are that we're naturally givers
Speaker 3: and nurtures. And so when you're looking for somebody, you
Speaker 3: want to find someone who can you know, add to that,
Speaker 3: because if not, it's like you're giving so much.
Speaker 2: But for what and that falls and knowing are worth.
Speaker 2: If I don't know who I am or what I
Speaker 2: can offer to the table, I don't think that's ever
Speaker 2: gonna What I want specifically isn't going to arrive for me,
Speaker 2: Like you can't accept the bare minimum, Like I've been
Speaker 2: loved bomb before.
Speaker 3: You know the term love? Oh yeah, yes, and it's
Speaker 3: like it seems all beautiful, the flowers, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: you're so beautiful, but it's not enough.
Speaker 2: And that's what worries me about like this generation and
Speaker 2: women obviously, and I think like the whole purpose of
Speaker 2: you know, filming this episode is obviously inspiring for inspiring
Speaker 2: other women to understand their worth, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like I And it's a process. It's a lot of time,
Speaker 2: and every situation is different because people that may be
Speaker 2: watching have you know, been through traumatic experiences or don't
Speaker 2: understand certain parts of their you know, the way that
Speaker 2: they grew up or whatever.
Speaker 1: How did you know your worth? How do we discover that?
Speaker 3: How did I discover my worth? I feel like a
Speaker 3: lot had to do with my family, just like when
Speaker 3: I was younger, I saw my parents. They didn't have
Speaker 3: a very healthy marriage. They got divorced when I was
Speaker 3: very young too, and I think that makes you see
Speaker 3: things a little differently. And my mom and my GRANDMOTHERY
Speaker 3: would always tell me, like, choose your husband wisely. And
Speaker 3: it's so funny. I used to think that you had
Speaker 3: to choose your husband. Like this was me and my
Speaker 3: five year old wide. I'd be like, oh, there's gonna
Speaker 3: be like a room and I have to go and
Speaker 3: pick good want And then eventually I clicked obviously, like oh,
Speaker 3: I you know, I get to choose, because at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, you do get to choose. As women,
Speaker 3: we get to choose. So it's like that really helped
Speaker 3: me understand like, well, actually that didn't help me understand
Speaker 3: my worth. Well, it helped me understand my worth. I
Speaker 3: think was just in general. As I got older, I
Speaker 3: started to see, okay, like what I find acceptable and
Speaker 3: what I don't find acceptable, And you just you know,
Speaker 3: when you go through a healing journey and when you
Speaker 3: just explore different parts of yourself and really get to
Speaker 3: know yourself deeply, you just start to feel like, wow,
Speaker 3: I am a very worthy person. We all are just
Speaker 3: innately that's who we are. And you know, as women,
Speaker 3: we're like, I think that we need to understand how
Speaker 3: powerful we really are, Like we're literally able, and even
Speaker 3: the women that can't still like we're still so so powerful.
Speaker 3: Like you're able to give birth, to bring life, to
Speaker 3: do all of these things. And it's like you have
Speaker 3: to understand the power that you hold in that. I
Speaker 3: agree that goes very deeply. And it's like when you
Speaker 3: choose your partner, it goes so deep into it that
Speaker 3: it's like, now you're choosing the kind of children that
Speaker 3: you're going to raise, and you're choosing kind of like
Speaker 3: because a lot of the times, like for example, if
Speaker 3: you find let's say, like a narcissistic man, those are
Speaker 3: things that are not only like part of their personality,
Speaker 3: it's also genetic. Yeah, and it's like these things can
Speaker 3: be packaged exactly. So it's like we have to be
Speaker 3: smart about that. But I got a little bit no.
Speaker 2: I know, because that's what I was gonna go to
Speaker 2: as well, Like everybody has baggage, right, men, women, any
Speaker 2: everybody has baggage?
Speaker 1: Have you processed it? Have you worked through it?
Speaker 2: Because I don't know if I have the capability any
Speaker 2: longer to put up with it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like if you're in a healing journey yourself,
Speaker 2: like okay, but I don't know if I can carry
Speaker 2: the weight and also pass that to my children, you know,
Speaker 2: if you have anger issues, like, let's figure it out now.
Speaker 2: If not figure it out by the time you're dating.
Speaker 3: Me, oh yeah, I know, Like it should be something
Speaker 3: where you should feel I think everyone should come into
Speaker 3: a relationship already as you know, a like good version
Speaker 3: of themselves, not And I think that's another thing that
Speaker 3: a lot of people just accept the minimum because they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: they're gonna change, or like yeah, they're they have these problems,
Speaker 3: but we're gonna make it work, and they fall in
Speaker 3: love with just like the idea of what someone can be, yeah,
Speaker 3: and their potential. But it's like you have to see
Speaker 3: people as who they are, and it's like, why are
Speaker 3: you going to put up with somebody not having it
Speaker 3: figured out and just being And what I mean by
Speaker 3: that is not like in general, obviously none of us
Speaker 3: have it fully figured out, but it's like you're not
Speaker 3: gonna put up with somebody that's going to be disrespecting you,
Speaker 3: that doesn't treat you well, that doesn't know how to
Speaker 3: be a partner.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, I think leading you
Speaker 2: to better, like you know, not backtracking. I feel like
Speaker 2: for myself and I don't know you could speak on
Speaker 2: it for yourself as too, Like this healing journey has
Speaker 2: been so long and it's been a process, and it's
Speaker 2: like I do not want to go back, like I
Speaker 2: want you to help me move forward, like maybe I'll
Speaker 2: discover something.
Speaker 1: That I needed to heal on in the future. Are
Speaker 1: you going to help me? Like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to feel like like tak bad
Speaker 1: about or you know, this is just as important as
Speaker 1: is as is as it is important for me. I
Speaker 1: hope it is as important for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. And it's when you have like
Speaker 3: healed so much of yourself. I think that helps you
Speaker 3: really understand your worth because you're like, Okay, I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna accept anything else because you realize how peaceful it is.
Speaker 3: And I think that's why people stay single for so.
Speaker 1: Long, because I feel peace.
Speaker 3: I'm happy exactly, and you don't have to deal with
Speaker 3: like oh, like is this person like cheating? Is this
Speaker 3: person doing this? And when I say this, by the way,
Speaker 3: I'm like just a little PSA. I'm not like coming
Speaker 3: from like talking about my last relationship. I just have
Speaker 3: to mention it because I feel like people still correlate that,
Speaker 3: which I feel like it's you know, it's been so
Speaker 3: long it doesn't correlate anymore.
Speaker 2: But it's just what you've learned, right, what I've learned
Speaker 2: about experience, but in general.
Speaker 3: In general, in general, not from that experience though. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I think that's why we have like such high standards
Speaker 3: because we now when we go through that healing, we
Speaker 3: know our worth now. And it's like it's like this
Speaker 3: analogy I heard recently that it's like, just like how
Speaker 3: you don't you know, you don't go to the grocery
Speaker 3: store when you're hungry, why because you're gonna want to
Speaker 3: grab everything. You're gonna grab things you don't need. You're
Speaker 3: gonna be like over you're all desperate trying to get everything.
Speaker 3: Same thing with love. Don't go looking for love when
Speaker 3: you don't have self worth or when you're lonely. Don't
Speaker 3: try to date out of desperation, because then you're gonna
Speaker 3: accept anything. You're gonna accept the bare minimum because you're like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: you know, I this adds to my life. Like I'm lonely,
Speaker 3: I don't feel good, so I don't care if they
Speaker 3: treat me a certain type of way, Like you know,
Speaker 3: this is still my person. I get to cuddle with
Speaker 3: them at night, I get to do all these cute
Speaker 3: couples things like and it's like it goes so much
Speaker 3: deeper than that. But when you're in that like mentality
Speaker 3: and you feel very lonely, you can easily exactly take
Speaker 3: whatever you can get.
Speaker 2: And I think that's also like before anything, ladies, even men,
Speaker 2: you know, watching or whatever, it's knowing.
Speaker 1: Who you are first.
Speaker 2: Be secure, be for sure about who you are as
Speaker 2: a person. You're kind, You know what you could provide
Speaker 2: and what you can bring to the table.
Speaker 3: You know your worth.
Speaker 2: And that's a process like knowing your worth and figuring
Speaker 2: that out, Like especially if you've grown up like in
Speaker 2: a toxic household or an abusive household, like it's hard
Speaker 2: to understand who you are and where you belong.
Speaker 1: But I think that's what starts.
Speaker 2: It's like you have to heal those parts of you
Speaker 2: and then open the door to love, open the door
Speaker 2: and knowing like, Okay, I'm not gonna put up with
Speaker 2: this anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't have time at least for.
Speaker 2: Me, I don't have time to put up with any
Speaker 2: type of shit, Like literally, I have too much on
Speaker 2: my plate, Like again, like, are you gonna let's add
Speaker 2: to my life?
Speaker 1: Let's add you know, let's build something together, you know.
Speaker 2: Let's let's speak to people, let's you know, the I'm
Speaker 2: not saying I want someone exactly like me, And I
Speaker 2: don't think you wanted someone exactly like you too, because
Speaker 2: then I feel like that would be kind of boring.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, of course. I honestly, I'm not sure exactly
Speaker 3: the type of person that I'm gonna end up with,
Speaker 3: but I agreed with what you were saying you want
Speaker 3: like a business man, I feel like, okay, so like.
Speaker 1: What are what are those?
Speaker 2: Obviously you know, okay, we can't say too much because
Speaker 2: it's like they're gonna be.
Speaker 1: Talking like okay, let me get start my business right now.
Speaker 3: I just.
Speaker 1: No, but it's like it's it's true. It's like I
Speaker 1: do you write it down?
Speaker 3: Girl? I have a list it's called my future husband
Speaker 3: and it's one hundred point.
Speaker 1: Launch and you add it on every day. You're like,
Speaker 1: all right, no, not every day.
Speaker 3: I wrote it one time and I was like, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna be so specific right here, because no, you have
Speaker 3: to be yes. And then it's like you'll find like,
Speaker 3: for example, in my dating journey, I've found like guys
Speaker 3: which would take off so many boxes, but then there
Speaker 3: would be like certain things that I could overlook and
Speaker 3: then I would add those to the lists, like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's another thing that we need.
Speaker 1: What are your deal breakers?
Speaker 3: My deal breaker? Hold on, let me go to my list.
Speaker 3: There's a lot. It's because it's hard to think of
Speaker 3: only one.
Speaker 1: Dude, I know, I feel like, what would my deal
Speaker 1: breaker be? I feel like, would you want anybody that's
Speaker 1: an influencer or like you want a.
Speaker 3: Deal breaker to me? I wouldn't mind it. But it's
Speaker 3: not like I'm like, oh, I hope they are you
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. But I wouldn't. Yeah, I wouldn't
Speaker 3: like not consider them because of that deal breakers. Okay,
Speaker 3: one of my deal breakers would have to be this
Speaker 3: is me personally. Wait, let me think, because I have
Speaker 3: a lot. One thing. Definitely I want a man that
Speaker 3: is romantic, like I don't want a man.
Speaker 2: You know, like okay, sorry to cut you off, but emotional,
Speaker 2: like you want to see that he's emotional too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want somebody that is like emotionally vulnerable with
Speaker 3: me and available in that sense. And I'm like, girl,
Speaker 3: I just have a lot of I'm a.
Speaker 1: Little Okay, what's a red flag?
Speaker 3: Then?
Speaker 1: I feel like that's easier. What is like the one?
Speaker 1: Because I feel like, Okay, you're on a date, and
Speaker 1: this is like I feel like everybody could agree if
Speaker 1: he doesn't offer to pay, Is that a red flag?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's not that it's a red flag. It's
Speaker 3: just for me personally, I wouldn't accept it.
Speaker 1: Would you go on another date?
Speaker 3: No? I wouldn't go on another date just because well
Speaker 3: that has never happened to me actually in my like
Speaker 3: dating like phase or whatever that I was on. But
Speaker 3: no guy did. And I feel like it's like, you know,
Speaker 3: if you're inviting a woman out and you're not gonna pay,
Speaker 3: it already shows the type of man that you are,
Speaker 3: and it shows how serious. For me. It's like, if
Speaker 3: you really like somebody, you wouldn't care, you know, like
Speaker 3: if these men had like their celebrity crush in front
Speaker 3: of them. You think they would be like, oh, let's
Speaker 3: do fifty to fifty. They would be trying to impress
Speaker 3: the women that they're dating, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: So it's like if you offer that, I just kind
Speaker 3: of feel like, either you just don't really like me
Speaker 3: or I don't know, maybe our our values just don't
Speaker 3: align in that way, which.
Speaker 1: Is fine, but you still so.
Speaker 3: I mean, in that case, I would just pay and
Speaker 3: just not see them again. I would just be like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: like we'll do fifty to fifty.
Speaker 1: But clearly that's such anick though.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, it's that's what makes it so unattractive,
Speaker 2: Like it's like I don't know, like I feel like
Speaker 2: I just I don't know. It is very unattractive and
Speaker 2: maybe that's just me and it's probably very judgy, but
Speaker 2: it's like, no, like you last me out. You know,
Speaker 2: you're on your phone probably a lot, like you were an.
Speaker 3: A little girl. Oh hell no, that's a big red flow.
Speaker 1: Yes, like being on the.
Speaker 3: Ring on the phone.
Speaker 1: I was on a date one time, not too long ago.
Speaker 3: I should have taken it as a red flat.
Speaker 2: I was love bombed for sure. But we were on
Speaker 2: a date and his phone was out like this or whatever.
Speaker 2: We'd already been like a couple drinks in and whatever
Speaker 2: I was on I had to take a phone call.
Speaker 2: So but he was next to me and his phone
Speaker 2: was on the table like this, and then he's obviously
Speaker 2: looking through stories and then he liked a girl's story
Speaker 2: and I was just like okay. And then in my head,
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, he's not your boyfriend. He's maybe talking
Speaker 2: about the people. That's fine or whatever, but I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: but why are you liking it in front of me?
Speaker 2: And my problem my fault was bringing up later on
Speaker 2: right in an argument that was like that was my
Speaker 2: fault completely.
Speaker 1: That was like but I was like, okay, like.
Speaker 2: That, I know that's a red flag, right, I should
Speaker 2: have seen it, like, and his excuse to me was that, oh.
Speaker 1: That's a family friend or whatever. I'm like, like, my cousin,
Speaker 1: I don't like my stories, yeah.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Like, I don't. I've never
Speaker 2: had a cousin like my story, a boy cousin.
Speaker 3: Like why, first of all, why is he on his
Speaker 3: phone going through Instagram stories while you're on a date, Yes,
Speaker 3: like that's already like what.
Speaker 1: Anyways, I don't know why I just had to share that,
Speaker 1: But those are red flags ladies, like you got to
Speaker 1: pay attention, like you got.
Speaker 3: To pick up on them, yeah, or.
Speaker 2: Like the phone being like this, I know, like give.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's just a habit, Yeah, it does a habit, but
Speaker 2: it's like they're like little cues, little things like I
Speaker 2: feel like that people miss out on, like they don't
Speaker 2: realize that our.
Speaker 3: Yeah are they just kind of like I think our
Speaker 3: problem too is will like give people the benefit of
Speaker 3: the down, which is like I learned that in dating
Speaker 3: you can't do that. You can't like you have to
Speaker 3: see it, like if you're over here showing me this,
Speaker 3: this and that, then it's like I have to get
Speaker 3: what you're putting down, pick up what you're putting down,
Speaker 3: like I can't just and I think you can be
Speaker 3: blinded sometimes. I feel like I've been personally blinded to
Speaker 3: things before, because you can be like very Let's say
Speaker 3: you're very physically attracted to somebody like oh wow, this
Speaker 3: guy is like so handsome, I really like him, and
Speaker 3: then it's like you know, you're like, oh, maybe I
Speaker 3: could just like let down this one boundary like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's okay if like they do this, But then it's
Speaker 3: like you have to think no, like you know what
Speaker 3: you want. It's like you can't be blinded, you it is,
Speaker 3: because then it's like, girl, that's all it took for
Speaker 3: you to fold. That's all it took for all your
Speaker 3: standards to go out the window.
Speaker 1: For a stranger. Realistic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, at the end of the day, Like, at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, you don't know this man. You
Speaker 3: just are like it's love at first sight because you're
Speaker 3: attracted to them. That's unfortunately it goes.
Speaker 2: We're gonna go on a quick break and we'll be
Speaker 2: right back with about the risk.
Speaker 1: Welcome back you guys. Would you ever do love is blind?
Speaker 3: Oh? Love is blind? That's a girl. That's scary, right,
Speaker 3: I don't know because love isn't blind. I know.
Speaker 2: Okay, So that's what then I think that's what we
Speaker 2: should talk about next.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, because then I'm so attracted.
Speaker 2: To when like a man is emotionally aware and intelligent
Speaker 2: or whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but then it's like what if they're not, Yeah,
Speaker 3: physically you're physically attracted to them and that's not to
Speaker 3: say that you're like looking for like a supermodel, like
Speaker 3: the most attractive man, but it's like, obviously we all
Speaker 3: have our different tastes. Like guys that I've been attracted to,
Speaker 3: somebody could probably see them and be like, girl, that's
Speaker 3: a little questionable. Are you sure? Yeah? But you know what, like,
Speaker 3: you know, we we all like what we like. But
Speaker 3: it's important to be attracted. You can't just be with
Speaker 3: somebody that you're just not attracted to. I feel like
Speaker 3: I couldn't.
Speaker 1: All right, what are your top three, like a physical
Speaker 1: attraction like you need to.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say I have Like, well, I prefer a
Speaker 3: man to be fit. I really, you know, that's a
Speaker 3: big thing. And especially because like that's my lifestyle. I
Speaker 3: love going to the gym. I'm very active. That's one
Speaker 3: thing I very like I look out for. My dream
Speaker 3: man is gonna be a tall man like I. You know,
Speaker 3: I feel like.
Speaker 1: Every comer than you because you're a tall girl too.
Speaker 3: Right, I'm tall? Yeah, well I'm five to five. I
Speaker 3: feel like that's pretty tall for a Mexican girl. And
Speaker 3: those are like I think those are my main things.
Speaker 3: Like other than that, I don't have like, oh, they
Speaker 3: have to have this specific characteristic or they have to
Speaker 3: look like this. I think as long as I'm attracted
Speaker 3: to them, Okay, is it weird?
Speaker 1: Tell me if I'm being judgy, then nice hands and.
Speaker 3: That's good too. That's good too. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't want like if I see that you're like.
Speaker 3: Your nails, oh hygiene one hundred yes, hyie like the
Speaker 3: things that I get on, Yeah, at all. I don't
Speaker 3: want a krusty like, don't want your You got to
Speaker 3: be put together, especially because obviously when you're a person
Speaker 3: who takes care of themselves, you want somebody that does
Speaker 3: the same. It's like it's kind of most unattractive. It's
Speaker 3: like a lot like you take.
Speaker 2: Care of Okay, you smell good, you look good, you
Speaker 2: look clean, like you got some lotion on those elbows,
Speaker 2: like you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean, Like.
Speaker 1: Little details like that you take care of, like where
Speaker 1: you live, maybe your car is probably clean. Like it
Speaker 1: sounds picky as fuck you guys, but it's true.
Speaker 2: It's like those things lead to other other examples, like
Speaker 2: how they can take care of you as well.
Speaker 3: I agree. And there's a saying that says how you
Speaker 3: do one and how does it go. How you do
Speaker 3: anything is how you do everything. Yeah, and that really Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's true because because if they take care of you know,
Speaker 3: their house, their car, all of that, Yeah, they're gonna
Speaker 3: take care of you too, because they they care to
Speaker 3: be caring.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, And that's the point. Like even as women
Speaker 2: as well, like we should be also be taking care
Speaker 2: of ourselves. Like yeah, I'm very big on like having
Speaker 2: my men a caure of my piticures, like it makes
Speaker 2: me feel good as a girl, as a woman me too,
Speaker 2: Like you know, making sure my hair is like you know,
Speaker 2: I'm on top my color and all that stuff. It
Speaker 2: presents yourself like you have to show yourself like I'm
Speaker 2: taking care of myself on the outside and the inside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it doesn't even have to be anything crazy,
Speaker 3: because I know it's like sometimes at the nail salons
Speaker 3: they be charging like oh curl, they be charging crazy prices.
Speaker 3: But even like you know, obviously like taking a shower,
Speaker 3: doing these things, keeping your nails cut and clean, not
Speaker 3: having freaking dirt in your freaking nails, these are things
Speaker 3: that anyone can do. I agree, And and yeah, like
Speaker 3: it's it's important, It's very important.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I have a hot take mama's boys. What
Speaker 1: if he's the only boy. Oh, I've had my fair share.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could do it. I've I've dated
Speaker 1: two mama's boys.
Speaker 3: What do you think qualifies somebody as a mama's boy?
Speaker 1: Okay? I feel like when they run to tell.
Speaker 2: Their mom everything, oh, like evolving like obviously, like you
Speaker 2: can obviously have a great relationship with your MoMA, wonderful.
Speaker 3: You mean, like involving, like telling them all your problems, Like.
Speaker 2: I feel like it in my eyes. Yeah, you look
Speaker 2: a little bit less of a man to me, just
Speaker 2: a little bit. I agree, Like I just it's a turnoff.
Speaker 1: It's definitely a turnoff. And I feel like that limits
Speaker 1: me down because I can't like a girl. It's hard,
Speaker 1: It's it's very unattractive.
Speaker 2: It's hard, like you're meant to be a man, Like,
Speaker 2: I don't think your mom needs to know everything that happens.
Speaker 3: And I think that goes even into just like the
Speaker 3: respect of the relationship. I don't think you should ever
Speaker 3: tell your problems that you have with your partner to everyone.
Speaker 3: Like I understand that there's certain things you might share
Speaker 3: at certain moments with certain people, but for you to
Speaker 3: go and run and like tell your mom everything and
Speaker 3: then usually it's like when you're having an argument if
Speaker 3: I don't know, I haven't been in this situation, but
Speaker 3: I feel like in a mama's boy, not in that
Speaker 3: sense like I want. What I like is like a
Speaker 3: man that you know has a good relationship with his mom,
Speaker 3: but that has boundaries too, So it's like you can't
Speaker 3: be telling all our business because then I feel like
Speaker 3: a mama's boy is created from a mother that doesn't
Speaker 3: know boundaries either. And then it's like there's just like weird,
Speaker 3: like there's no boundaries in that relationship.
Speaker 1: Because then I feel like you're constantly fighting. It's you
Speaker 1: and the mom fighting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like the mom's always going to have a higher
Speaker 2: position in his life.
Speaker 3: And that's not right, Like your wife should come first
Speaker 3: and that's it. And as my husband, you're gonna be
Speaker 3: first for me too. So it's like you, yeah, you
Speaker 3: never want to feel like you're competing with his mom.
Speaker 3: Like that's just weird, Like that's I don't know. I
Speaker 3: I wouldn't I wouldn't do.
Speaker 2: That, Okay, So would you say you and your partner
Speaker 2: relationship the mom doesn't like you?
Speaker 1: Are you leaving or you're saying.
Speaker 3: If the mom doesn't like me? But I know I'm saying,
Speaker 3: but I feel like if someone didn't like me, like,
Speaker 3: why wouldn't you like me? Okay, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: What if your partner didn't defend you, your man didn't.
Speaker 3: Oh, if they don't, yeah, then I couldn't be with
Speaker 3: them because then that's that feels like it's gonna be
Speaker 3: an ongoing problem and I don't want to deal with that,
Speaker 3: Like you never want to come second. I think any
Speaker 3: man that loves his woman is gonna put them first
Speaker 3: and is obviously gonna choose, not choose, because you shouldn't
Speaker 3: have to choose. But if it was a case like
Speaker 3: that where like the mom was being just what's the
Speaker 3: word respect?
Speaker 1: Ispect?
Speaker 3: Like just being I can't what's the word for this?
Speaker 1: Overbearing?
Speaker 3: Maybe overbearing or like and also disrespectful and like treating
Speaker 3: your woman badly, And it's like you're choosing to defend
Speaker 3: your mom over your wife staying quiet that too, it's
Speaker 3: like you have to be able to be the man
Speaker 3: to step in and defend the person that you're with,
Speaker 3: and that just shows not only in that situation, but
Speaker 3: it just shows a lot about the type of person
Speaker 3: they are. So if that's not the type of person
Speaker 3: you are, then I don't think that our values aligned
Speaker 3: and I don't think we're going to be a good
Speaker 3: fit for each other.
Speaker 2: And then I think that's also not respecting yourself as
Speaker 2: a woman. Yeah, you know, like I'm sorry if you
Speaker 2: don't respect me when it comes to your mother. And
Speaker 2: I feel like that it's a hard conversation to have
Speaker 2: because it's obviously the mother, the one that gave birth
Speaker 2: to that person, and then you the person that's loving
Speaker 2: and caring for him right now.
Speaker 1: But it's like, oh, like it goes like really deep,
Speaker 1: but it is.
Speaker 2: Like a sign like how much are you going to
Speaker 2: respect yourself to like, Okay, you know, sadly, this is
Speaker 2: what it is.
Speaker 3: And and Amanda loves you will never put you in
Speaker 3: that position. No, Like they won't, No, they won't, they
Speaker 3: won't allow it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think more than anything, and if anybody
Speaker 2: like you know, choosing to listen here and obviously coming
Speaker 2: from Boo's podcasts as well, like as people that have
Speaker 2: gone through healing experiences traumatic experiences as well, like and relationships.
Speaker 2: Respecting yourself is always going to be number one, and
Speaker 2: that also respecting your own boundaries and respecting your standards.
Speaker 1: And you're not crazy. I know, I'm not crazy about
Speaker 1: You're not crazy.
Speaker 3: You know, you're not crazy.
Speaker 2: About having these standards or being quote unquote picky if
Speaker 2: you guys see it as being picky. It's when you've
Speaker 2: been through so many things and experience different parts of life,
Speaker 2: you already know what to accept and not to accept.
Speaker 2: I read in the book it's like it's as much access.
Speaker 2: It's as much access as you give that person, Like
Speaker 2: I'm letting you into my heart. That is as much access,
Speaker 2: like I'm giving you basically my whole life, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's it's how much are you going to accept?
Speaker 2: How much are you gonna and how much are you
Speaker 2: going to know that you deserve? You know, it's your
Speaker 2: heart is sacred, It's it's meant to be protected. What
Speaker 2: goes goes through your heart also comes out, you know,
Speaker 2: in the physical and into the world.
Speaker 1: So it's like be mindful of choosing, be mindful. I
Speaker 1: can't even say no, but it's like also being mindful
Speaker 1: of who you're choosing in your life. You know, like
Speaker 1: it's a whole other person. It's baggage, it's everything that
Speaker 1: person comes along with and are they willing to accept
Speaker 1: the stuff that you came along what you bring to
Speaker 1: the table, well.
Speaker 3: Exactly, you know. And it's always put yourself first and.
Speaker 1: Learn know you're worth girls, know you're worth your men.
Speaker 1: Women are so special in this world. We're smarter for
Speaker 1: a reason.
Speaker 3: We mature fast, we mature faster.
Speaker 2: We know we have babies, Like our bodies are designed
Speaker 2: and created so beautifully and wonderfully made.
Speaker 1: Like you have to appreciate it.
Speaker 2: You're not just like worthless or you know, you don't
Speaker 2: deserve to be treated like any type of way.
Speaker 1: You are powerful. You know who you are. You know
Speaker 1: what you bring to the table. You can conquer anything
Speaker 1: in this world.
Speaker 2: And you deserve and willing of every ounce of love
Speaker 2: that is I don't want to say that is offered
Speaker 2: because that can be multiple people whatever. No, it's like
Speaker 2: you have to just know the cues, know the red flags.
Speaker 3: And let people earn your love.
Speaker 1: Yes, don't just get it out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, give it to the first person, like, give it
Speaker 3: to someone that actually like you know, give it to
Speaker 3: the person that truly shows you that they're deserving of
Speaker 3: that because you do give so much to the people
Speaker 3: that you love, So make sure that it's somebody that
Speaker 3: is going to give back to you and pour back
Speaker 3: into you. Yes, and yeah, don't accept just anything, trust
Speaker 3: me please.
Speaker 2: And soulties, we're going to bring it back, do not,
Speaker 2: because that's that stuff sticks with you, like you don't
Speaker 2: know where that person has been. If you guys are
Speaker 2: just looking to hook up, like.
Speaker 1: Okay, no disrespect whatever you guys want to do. Everybody
Speaker 1: makes their own life.
Speaker 4: Choices, but know the consequences the harns, and you don't
Speaker 4: know where that person has been or the people that
Speaker 4: he's already hooked up with has been.
Speaker 1: So whatever those people have are coming into you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's serious, yes, like the amount of even
Speaker 3: like you go into Soulti and then you go into
Speaker 3: all of this, but then you also have like STDs,
Speaker 3: like people aren't just over here, you know these men
Speaker 3: be I don't know. You have to protect yourself in
Speaker 3: every way because you don't know how something is gonna
Speaker 3: affect you.
Speaker 2: Don't get love bomb ladies. If they're telling you like this, this, this,
Speaker 2: and then they want to have sex on the first date. No, honey, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: like please don't.
Speaker 1: Please, Like it's like again, know your worth, respect your body.
Speaker 2: It is so beautiful, it's so powerful. Do not just
Speaker 2: let like getta come and just mess it all up
Speaker 2: for you, because that that is a whole nother healing thing.
Speaker 1: That's traumatic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is very traumatic, and I think that people,
Speaker 3: when they're not aware of it, they can just you know,
Speaker 3: cause a lot of harm to themselves without even realizing
Speaker 3: what's actually happening. And the bonds that you're creating with people,
Speaker 3: the people that are you know, it's like it takes
Speaker 3: a long time, I think to get to know somebody
Speaker 3: and to really see what kind of person they are,
Speaker 3: So you don't know who you're letting into your body
Speaker 3: and what they're gonna give you in every sense of
Speaker 3: that word. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So just because even after you get married too, this
Speaker 2: I've always heard and even I asked my sister, like
Speaker 2: she recently got married, but they've lived together for a
Speaker 2: long time. It's like, you know, you discover new things
Speaker 2: after and then isn't there like a saying where it's
Speaker 2: like you don't really know someone unless you've talked to
Speaker 2: them or been with them.
Speaker 1: For like two years or something like that.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, something like that. So obviously the point is is
Speaker 2: like take your time.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying don't give it, like you know, you
Speaker 1: could do whatever you want with buddy, but like take
Speaker 1: your time, like understand, like you know who you're talking to,
Speaker 1: what they do, Like again.
Speaker 2: What baggage do they carry? Like what trauma have they
Speaker 2: been through? Can they help you or can you help them?
Speaker 2: Like you know, grow Like everything is about growing together.
Speaker 2: And if there's anything that I would love for you
Speaker 2: guys to take out of this podcast is again knowing
Speaker 2: you're worth, respecting yourself and not just taking anything, don't
Speaker 2: take everything.
Speaker 1: Be mindful, be.
Speaker 3: Very mindful dating and pour into yourself, give yourself all
Speaker 3: that love that you crave, give it to yourself, and
Speaker 3: eventually that person will come around. You will always, yeah,
Speaker 3: you'll find that person. Have you sorry? I forgot to
Speaker 3: ask her. I wanted to ask you earlier when you
Speaker 3: were talking about this. So you know how you said
Speaker 3: you're you know, wanting to start getting settling down and
Speaker 3: all that. Yes, have you been putting yourself in certain
Speaker 3: positions to meet somebody?
Speaker 2: I've been going out a little bit more like I'll
Speaker 2: go I don't go out to like parties or bars
Speaker 2: or clubs. I don't feel like my man is going
Speaker 2: to be in the club.
Speaker 3: Yeah no, I So I'll.
Speaker 1: Go to maybe to like maybe. Uh. I went to
Speaker 1: Mastros with my friend the other day. We went to
Speaker 1: go eat. We sat there at the bar at the table,
Speaker 1: like you know, right there sitting and we were just
Speaker 1: talking or whatever. And I think I'm just more open
Speaker 1: to it.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like when you're when the idea in
Speaker 2: your head, when you open the door, it attracts, yeah,
Speaker 2: because then you look close off, like you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. So I'll go out to like maybe if
Speaker 2: I'm invited. If I'm invited to a party. You know,
Speaker 2: I don't usually drink. I'm very like you know, and
Speaker 2: I'm not saying not having fun or whatever, but I'm
Speaker 2: the door's open. I put myself in positions like I'll
Speaker 2: go out with my sister or you know, whatever occasion
Speaker 2: that I'm able to like yeah, like, and I make
Speaker 2: myself like I know in my head like okay.
Speaker 3: You're like present in the moment and aware of around
Speaker 3: and everything that.
Speaker 1: Like I'm you know, I'm not, but I'm also not
Speaker 1: like out there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you're not like going and like talking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: Do you do like when you see a guy that
Speaker 3: you're attracted to, do you just like do you smile
Speaker 3: at them?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I don't. Oh maybe I do, maybe
Speaker 1: like a smirk. Maybe like a smirk.
Speaker 3: That's good, you should. Well, this is what I've heard.
Speaker 3: I'm too shy. I feel like most of the time
Speaker 3: when I see a guy I'm attracted to, I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna lie. You don't go, I like, no, never, I'm
Speaker 3: and I don't want to be the first one to
Speaker 3: make the move. But you know you're supposed to, like,
Speaker 3: you know, show them you're interested, like smile at them
Speaker 3: and stuff. But I still need to work on it.
Speaker 1: I know. It feels like a little weird. It's like
Speaker 1: what if you smile at them and they're like.
Speaker 3: I know, what if they just like ignore you? It's
Speaker 3: scary too.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the door is open. And like I feel
Speaker 1: like again it's all about mentally as well. Like if
Speaker 1: you're opposed to it, it's gonna look like that on
Speaker 1: the outside. Yeah, but if you're open to it, it's
Speaker 1: gonna look like that on the outside as well.
Speaker 2: So we're gonna come back and when we're both in relationships,
Speaker 2: we're gonna talk about this again. Oh my gosh, where
Speaker 2: we're at like of with our dream mens, like this
Speaker 2: is going to happen.
Speaker 3: Like I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, because we're manifesting.
Speaker 2: It's all about manifesting, putting it out, praying to God, Like, look, God,
Speaker 2: I say this every day, and you guys probably think
Speaker 2: I'm crazy, but I literally say, God, wherever my husband's at,
Speaker 2: make sure, you know, prepare him, prepare me, prepare me
Speaker 2: for my future husband that he's also being in preparation,
Speaker 2: like you're getting him ready, like you know, you're healing
Speaker 2: parts of him, like whatever he's.
Speaker 1: In, blessed him, protect him.
Speaker 2: You have to put it out there. You have to
Speaker 2: be willing to receive it and also pray that God
Speaker 2: is preparing you. You know that you're in the healing
Speaker 2: process and whatever.
Speaker 1: But like I said, right.
Speaker 3: I'm sure your husband he's gonna appreciate that so much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks, Your man's gonna appreciate the bullet points too.
Speaker 1: One hundred and ninety. You're going to get that. Maybe
Speaker 1: just one that's like whatever, But yeah, fine, you'll get
Speaker 1: we're getting them. We're gonna get. No, we are, and
Speaker 1: it's and if we're gonna the weight is going to
Speaker 1: be worth it, like the weight in the process.
Speaker 3: Like sometimes you also wait a little longer for something.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be honorable, Like you know you're gonna respect
Speaker 2: yourself even more that you waited this long for.
Speaker 1: This type of man, for the right one. Yes, I'm ready.
Speaker 1: We're ready for it, and.
Speaker 2: We're gonna we're gonna come back and we're gonna talk
Speaker 2: about it and we'll be like yep.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, wait, I actually can't wait for that day.
Speaker 3: Like I'm excited for that to come day.
Speaker 1: When you find this one and you're aus.
Speaker 2: I feel like when we're on our first date, I
Speaker 2: feel like we would know. Do you feel like you
Speaker 2: would know?
Speaker 3: Like maybe like I think definitely you would have like
Speaker 3: a tingle like yeah, you would for sure know something
Speaker 3: like wait, I kind of do like him more than
Speaker 3: I thought.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like somebody have to be careful.
Speaker 2: No, of course, of course, but I feel like because
Speaker 2: we're aware, like are motions like can obviously deceive us
Speaker 2: in our heart, But like I feel like there's gonna
Speaker 2: be like that one on the first In the.
Speaker 3: Back of your mind, you're like, like, oh, where this goes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, this one's interesting, Like this this is convincing, but
Speaker 2: it's exciting.
Speaker 1: I do wish you luck. I'm gonna be thank you
Speaker 1: for your man.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be praying for you, just your future in general,
Speaker 2: because you're beautiful and you are worthy and deserving all
Speaker 2: the love.
Speaker 3: Thank you in the world.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be We're gonna be texting. We're like, did
Speaker 1: you see I'm going to date anyways you guys. Bao
Speaker 1: does have her own podcast. She just started it, My
Speaker 1: Best Self Police, Share your socials, share where you can
Speaker 1: find it, and all that.
Speaker 3: Thank you. So we are on I believe we're available
Speaker 3: on any streaming like wherever you hear, Spotify, Apple, all
Speaker 3: of that. YouTube at my Best Self and then Instagram
Speaker 3: I think is my best self paw to my Instagram
Speaker 3: is ipare if you guys want to follow me there,
Speaker 3: and yeah, thank you, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3: This was so fun. I feel like these conversations are needed.
Speaker 1: Yes, of course, and I feel like some girls don't
Speaker 1: have those girlfriends, and I feel like, you know, we
Speaker 1: could talk about it, have a good time, and I
Speaker 1: feel like they're important conversations to have. If you guys
Speaker 1: please took anything from this podcast, like, leave a comment,
Speaker 1: leave a life, let us know, go to bout podcast.
Speaker 2: She is all about it as well, about moving to
Speaker 2: the to the next level of your life, about improving
Speaker 2: your life, how to heal all that good stuff.
Speaker 1: So make sure you guys go check out her podcast.
Speaker 1: Make sure you guys leave a like comment, subscribe here,
Speaker 1: and I will see you guys next Tuesday.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 2: Overcome for Podcasts is a production of IHEARTMC podcast Network.