WEBVTT - Knowing Your Worth & Having High Standards with Pau Torres 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:07.280 Welcome back to the Overcomfort podcast. You guys. I am 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:08.520 your host, Jennaa Lopez. 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:11.440 Thank you guys so much for choosing to watch and 0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:13.920 listen to this episode from wherever you guys are at. 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:17.120 I am super excited because we're gonna have a cute 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:21.320 girl chat with one of my gorgeous friends, Balt Torres. 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:25.360 She's been on the podcast before, she was on season two, 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:30.680 and absolutely, I mean, I don't like talking in third person, 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:33.560 but I do love her. I love her and who 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:35.720 she is and what she stands for and believes in. 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:39.000 And she's also I feel like she's very wise because 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:39.879 how old are you. 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:41.720 You're like two, I'm twenty two. 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:44.720 Yes, very wise, very mature for her age. 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:49.680 And I wanted to have this topic because you have 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:53.200 your own podcast obviously, Yes, My best Self your best self? 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:54.600 Which one? Is it? My bestlf? 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:56.800 My best self? Because I was like, your best self 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:57.600 of my best self? 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:01.280 Either way, I was like, it's the same thing, my 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:05.199 best self, which congratulations for that. I love, love, love 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:08.959 what you're promoting there, what your conversations are about, because 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:10.560 I feel like it's very genuine to who you are, 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:11.800 and I feel like. 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:13.520 This could be like a little collab. We're going to 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:19.800 talk about having high standards. Is it being picky or 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:23.480 are we being picky? Or are we And I look, 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:27.280 I personally feel like it's a girl like girls should 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:28.080 have high standards. 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:31.440 Yeah, right, But We're gonna get to the nitty gritty 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.200 and I'm excited and I wanted to have this conversation 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:36.919 with bout because I feel like we've been pretty single 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:39.640 for a good minute and we're very specific about who 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:41.479 we want to talk to, who we date. 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:44.520 We don't have time to mess around. And I remember 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:44.959 like in our. 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:47.720 Last episode that we did together, we were talking about 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:52.280 soul ties and the importance of that. So whatever, that's 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:55.960 what we're gonna be talking about today. And hopefully you 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:58.720 guys can take something from this because I feel like 0:01:58.760 --> 0:01:59.440 it's important. 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:01.800 I feel like if there's anything that. 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:04.360 Anybody could take from this episode, I feel like it's 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:09.680 knowing you're worth, yes, right, because I feel like, and 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:11.639 I don't know about you, and I'll let you speak 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:14.880 and how you how you discovered your worth. But for me, 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:19.079 a lot of people I've seen, I've noticed people that 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:22.880 they find their worth in men or in a relationship, 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.040 and apart from that, and I used. I used to 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:29.400 do that when I was younger, because that's all I 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:31.600 ever knew, you know, like when I grew up, like 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:34.120 I would see multiple relationships and. 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:37.600 It's all that you're fed to exactly like the Disney 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:42.040 princesses exactly. This is just like all about relationship. 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:44.200 And especially like in Hispanic culture, you got to be 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:47.200 submissive to the man or type, you know, like just 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.040 take whatever you can get and just you know, move forward. 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:53.600 But it's like we're in a new generation, we're changing 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:57.320 things up. Let's talk about what are the standards for 0:02:57.680 --> 0:02:58.119 each other? 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:02.240 Okay, okay? Or standards? Okay, I'm gonna say my standards, 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:05.200 but I'm not gonna go too deep because another thing 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:07.440 the girls need to know is you can never just 0:03:07.560 --> 0:03:10.880 say your standards to a man, because then you literally 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:12.760 give them the cheat code of like Okay, I know 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:16.519 exactly what she's looking for. I know exactly how to act. 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:19.119 How to present yourself to like, yeah, how if he's 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:21.960 watching this, he knows how to really win. 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:24.839 And it's a lie, which is very dangerous because there 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.760 are like I'm not saying all men are bad, but 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.440 there are men out there who are gonna use that 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:32.919 against you, and who are you know gonna have that 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.880 type of intention towards you? Of course, But I would 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:41.400 say my standards are just in general obviously a kind person, 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:46.840 a respectful person, who is ready to prioritize a relationship, 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:49.240 which honestly, I don't even know if I'm ready at 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:54.160 that because your stage yet. Yes, So that's like, that's 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:58.960 part of it, as well as I want somebody, you know, 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:00.920 I want to be a mother in the future, right, 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:04.200 so I want somebody who's going to be an amazing dad, 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:06.680 somebody who's going to be able to take care of 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:11.080 our family, somebody that I can rely on. Those are just, like, 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:13.800 I guess, kind of a few points. Yeah, those are 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.560 like the main pinpoints. I don't think I'm very like, oh, 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:19.039 like he has to be super attractive and super this 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:22.080 and that. I think it's like someone that I have 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:26.200 a connection with, who shares my values and who, yeah, 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:29.000 who will fit into my life and I'll fit into 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:29.560 their life. 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:35.200 Okay, I agree, I completely agree. There's something different obviously about. 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:40.280 Physical and then emotional. Yeah, my main thing is obviously emotional. 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:42.440 And then I'll and then we'll. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:43.159 Talk about. 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.240 Because you know, obviously I think physical is the is 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:50.600 the picky part, Like if we're getting too like technical, 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:56.280 like oh he doesn't have straight teeth, no babes like bye, no, 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.159 but you know what I mean, Like that's the picky part. 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:00.000 Yeah, I definitely agree. 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:04.000 I think that along with the being a good dad 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:07.080 because obviously you don't know until obviously you have, yeah, 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.120 your kids, and you don't know. But I feel what 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:13.039 is a good example and that you could see from 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:14.680 the bat, like, oh, this man's gonna be a good 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:17.400 dad is the way he treats his mom. 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:19.440 That's yeah, that's very hard. 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:23.000 As nieces and nephews or some type of you know, 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.240 how he is around kids. You know, because I have 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.880 a bunch of nieces and nephews and maybe that man doesn't, 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:29.880 you know. So it's all about how you treat them. 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:33.479 And that's like the biggest, like one of the flags 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.200 for me, Like if you do not treat your mother right, 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:38.599 I feel like it's like it shows a lot, it. 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:41.680 Shows your level. I think it really also shows well, 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:46.039 everybody's situation is different, but like you should never be 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.320 treating your mom bad, regardless of what it is. 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.760 Like, if you need to make abounds. 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:53.760 Then that's different, but yeah, you should be respectful. And 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.000 I think it just also shows how much they respect 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.040 women in general. And it's like, if you don't respect 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:02.200 your mom, do you respect exactly? 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:04.920 Which is the one thing that I always look. 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:06.960 For, like how do you how do you treat or 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:09.480 how do you respect your parents? Like, you know, how's 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:12.719 your relationship with them? I know it sounds like getting 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:15.160 too deep, but it's it's really, it's really how it is. 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:19.440 Because let's say his relationship with his dad is is 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:22.240 not the best. I feel like that's where ego and 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:26.240 pride a lot of bitterness. Like you're built, you have anger, 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:29.400 you know. So it's kind of like then word is 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:31.400 that fault? Like you take it out on me or 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:33.479 you'll take it on take it out on whoever. 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:34.240 It is. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.840 So the way you treat your parents, for sure, that's. 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:43.000 A big one, just like the way they even the 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:46.640 way they treat women as a whole and speak about 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:51.240 women as a whole, like, for example, I something that 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.880 has made me cut somebody off in the past. This 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:55.919 wasn't the only thing they did, but it was like 0:06:55.960 --> 0:07:00.320 they would refer to women as the B word, like general, 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.720 and I was like wait, Like, I don't like that. 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:04.360 That doesn't sit right with me. It just kind of 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:06.840 shows like, why don't you respect women? So you only 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:10.040 respect the women that you like, care about or that 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:13.080 are like close to you, but not women as a whole. Yeah, 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:15.400 that's honestly, that's a huge red flag. 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:18.040 Okay, but how about if they're if he's talking to 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:20.720 his boys in the group, like in their group chat. 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:23.640 No, I think that's horrible. I don't know. I just 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:27.240 feel like, why would you refer to women as that? Yeah? Yeah? 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:28.840 Do you do you agree or do you feel like 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:29.760 you would? I? 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:32.800 No, I agree, I feel like no, I just I 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:36.240 can't even make it like because I'd like to see 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:37.960 like both ways. I'm like, that's why I asked, like 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:39.480 in the group chat, like maybe he's just talking to 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:41.880 his guys, but I like, even your boys, you shouldn't 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:42.480 even be talking. 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:46.920 Yeah. Yeah. And like in my past relationship and in 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:49.800 other like you know, situations that I've been in, I've 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:52.400 never had to like deal with the man just like 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.560 texting his friends in that way, So I see it 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.320 as like for someone to do that, just yeah, I 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:00.280 don't think that's someone I would ever want to So. 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:02.560 With I feel like it is disrespectful because it's like 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:05.600 if his friend is saying something about me or something 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:07.600 about somebody else, that's kind of like you are who 0:08:07.640 --> 0:08:10.760 you hang around. Yes, I feel like I truly believe 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.000 in that. And I'm if you hang around cheaters, if 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:14.400 you're hang around with people like. 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:15.840 That's big too. 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.880 Why do you feel comfortable? Like you know what I mean? 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:20.840 Yeah, But then I don't know. 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.280 Sometimes that's that's I feel like that's the librit in me, 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:26.280 or that's no find the way like ballots are understanding 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:27.320 the other side of things. 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:29.760 Oh okay, yeah, yeah, I see, But I agree with 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:33.480 you though, Like I just feel like if like, if 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:37.160 a man is comfortable to be around people that act 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:40.120 that way, then you are, like you said, you are 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.720 who you hang around. And it's like I guess it 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:46.480 can be you can may maybe seem like picky because 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:47.880 of it, Like I guess this is where we get 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:51.559 into like being picky. But it's like then I'm gonna 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.520 be picky, I guess because I just there's certain things 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.120 that you just don't want to put up with. And 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.959 then I feel like also we're indoctrinated to just accept 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:03.640 whatever we want. I mean, whatever, whatever we get, you 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:05.640 just accept it. So it's like you have to kind 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:09.040 of question things a little bit like Okay, is this 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:13.520 actually right? Like or have I just been fed that narrative? 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:14.960 Like have I been manipulated? 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:17.520 Am I two used to this exactly? Like oh yeah, 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:19.720 like it's normal for men to treat women this way, 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:23.319 like it's normal for guys to have these conversations about women. 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.240 When it's like is that really normal? Is that really like? 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.080 Or maybe it's normalized but it's not. Doesn't mean we 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:30.600 have to accept it exactly. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.880 And I think it depends on certain situations like the 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:36.880 way people were raised or the way, you know, the 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:41.679 experiences they had growing up, which goes into like, you know, 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:43.000 maybe my next thing. 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:46.280 How do you feel? Because I've been single for okay, 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:47.040 let's say like. 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:49.600 Four years now, three four years now, but obviously in 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:54.400 between dating, have you ever seen yourself? 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.359 Maybe I have, and I'm just maybe I'm getting. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:58.600 To a point where it's like, okay, girl, you're like 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.240 twenty seven, like when you know, are. 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.120 You having to I know? But you know what I mean, 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:04.040 It's like you. 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:05.720 Get to a point where it's like, at this point, 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:08.360 I want to start feeling like I would love to 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:09.440 receive flowers. 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:09.800 You know. 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:11.880 Obviously, I know I could buy myself flowers and I 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:14.680 could do, but like there's sometimes or there's times where 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:17.559 I do miss like the little cute things or whatever. 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:20.760 But then I remember, I'm like, if this is what 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:23.640 I'm asking for, that's all I'm gonna get. I have 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:27.680 to think about, like, Okay, the man that I want 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.400 is in the process of is getting prepared, like he's 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:32.719 you know, maybe doing something, you know what I mean. 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:35.920 So it's like, have you cause how. 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:37.760 Long have you been seeing that I've been single for 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:39.599 a little bit over two years. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:42.360 But dating in between talking to like, yeah, I've been 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:46.720 dating a little bit, but concrete official yeah, nothing official. 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:53.160 I yeah, I've been very very single. Yeah, so very 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:56.240 much single. Like right now I'm literally like I'm not 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.640 dating anybody, not talking to anybody, not like on any 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:01.880 dating not anything at the moment. 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:03.200 Have you been on dating apps? 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:06.160 I have? I haven't. It was like an interesting experience. 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:06.800 It's weird. 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.080 I don't know, We're gonna go on a quick break 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:12.800 and we'll be right back without the welcome back you guys. 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:14.120 No, but I've been on it. 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:17.280 Been on it too, and I'm just like, it's it's 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:23.200 a weird dating apps, I feel like, because realistically they do. 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:24.439 There's really hard to. 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:26.280 Find the ones that don't just want to hook up 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.880 and you know, and then I'm very specific and I 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.800 feel like maybe you can agree or maybe not, but 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:37.280 I feel like the man that I kind of look for. 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:38.599 I don't want. 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:42.960 Maybe this is being picky again, but I don't feel 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.920 like I want somebody in the same industry as me, 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:52.560 like influencer or you know, I want like picky again, 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:55.520 but whatever, like someone businesses, like I feel like owning 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.560 your own business or something smarter, you know, like you 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.080 have to be influencing and all this stuff. It's not 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:05.120 gonna last forever, right, And then that goes into me 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:07.520 feeling secure and safe, Like how are you going to 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:12.120 like make me feel safe and secure also financially, you know, 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:13.920 if we because I'm dating. 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:14.640 To marry at this point. 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:16.800 Yeah, Like I don't want to. I'm not just dating 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.560 to like mess around. So I feel like that's where 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.439 financial security comes in, Like I want to be able 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:26.600 to be with somebody that has maybe a little bit 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:29.800 more what I can offer because I feel like I 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:31.160 personally bring a lot to the table. 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:33.000 Yeah, I know that. I know that I do. 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.440 I know how to be a good girlfriend, wife, whatever. 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.000 I could cook clean, I have my own house, I 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.160 have my own business, Like, I pay my own bills. 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:41.880 I'm not asking for that, but I just want to 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:42.520 be able to Like. 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:46.920 You want to be like a feminine woman around it man. 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:50.320 You want your man to be able to take the lead, 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.320 and you want him to be I feel like women, 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.520 what we really want is someone that's better than us 0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.640 exactly because if they're not, then it's like and not 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.400 to say that, like how can I word this. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.240 We don't want to be better than them, Like we 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:08.160 don't like respectfully like in like like we don't want. 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.240 To be doing better then exactly. 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.040 Yeah, we don't want to be doing better then the man. 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:15.280 And then also because it's like it goes into things 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:18.360 like when a man is maybe at a different level 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:21.480 than you, like let's say, for example, financially or even 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.800 sometimes it could be like looks wise for the girls 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.920 who like give guys a chance without like really caring 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:32.360 about their looks. It's like also then a man can 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:35.640 become insecure, and that can cause a lot of problems 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.960 in the relationship. And I think that's also another reason 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.280 why as women, we naturally are inclined to want a 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:44.960 man who can be that like that man that we want, 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.360 you know, that can be like a protector for us 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.000 and who can make us feel safe and comfortable. I 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.719 don't think there's anything wrong with wanting that, honestly. 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.679 No, and I and that's why I'm like, maybe that's 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:56.599 why I'm still sick of it. 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:58.679 It's like no, but it's like I think about him 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.319 like I can't accept You know why. 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.080 It's because you give it to yourself. Yes, you give 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:07.080 that to yourself. You provide this lifestyle for yourself. You 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:12.720 work hard, you do you upkeep yourself physically, mentally, like 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:16.040 I'm sure even spiritually, in all these different ways. So 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.000 it's like if you have to match or exactly you 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:22.600 have to add to my life. Because also, you know, 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:26.320 when you're in a relationship, you naturally give a lot 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.400 of yourself. You give a lot of your time, you 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:33.840 give a lot of your energy. You give so much. 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:38.000 And as women, we naturally are that we're naturally givers 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:44.160 and nurtures. And so when you're looking for somebody, you 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.720 want to find someone who can you know, add to that, 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.120 because if not, it's like you're giving so much. 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.800 But for what and that falls and knowing are worth. 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:55.040 If I don't know who I am or what I 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.960 can offer to the table, I don't think that's ever 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.840 gonna What I want specifically isn't going to arrive for me, 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.840 Like you can't accept the bare minimum, Like I've been 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:05.960 loved bomb before. 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:10.440 You know the term love? Oh yeah, yes, and it's 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:13.520 like it seems all beautiful, the flowers, Oh my god, 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.520 you're so beautiful, but it's not enough. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.200 And that's what worries me about like this generation and 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:21.760 women obviously, and I think like the whole purpose of 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:26.680 you know, filming this episode is obviously inspiring for inspiring 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:29.760 other women to understand their worth, you know what I mean? 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.000 Like I And it's a process. It's a lot of time, 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:34.440 and every situation is different because people that may be 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:38.720 watching have you know, been through traumatic experiences or don't 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.560 understand certain parts of their you know, the way that 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:42.440 they grew up or whatever. 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.520 How did you know your worth? How do we discover that? 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:48.520 How did I discover my worth? I feel like a 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.320 lot had to do with my family, just like when 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:55.280 I was younger, I saw my parents. They didn't have 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:57.480 a very healthy marriage. They got divorced when I was 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.680 very young too, and I think that makes you see 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:04.640 things a little differently. And my mom and my GRANDMOTHERY 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:08.840 would always tell me, like, choose your husband wisely. And 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:11.440 it's so funny. I used to think that you had 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:13.800 to choose your husband. Like this was me and my 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:16.120 five year old wide. I'd be like, oh, there's gonna 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:17.640 be like a room and I have to go and 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:22.360 pick good want And then eventually I clicked obviously, like oh, 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.440 I you know, I get to choose, because at the 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.840 end of the day, you do get to choose. As women, 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:32.480 we get to choose. So it's like that really helped 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:35.520 me understand like, well, actually that didn't help me understand 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:37.880 my worth. Well, it helped me understand my worth. I 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:42.400 think was just in general. As I got older, I 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:46.000 started to see, okay, like what I find acceptable and 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:50.200 what I don't find acceptable, And you just you know, 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.520 when you go through a healing journey and when you 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:56.400 just explore different parts of yourself and really get to 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:59.080 know yourself deeply, you just start to feel like, wow, 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:01.800 I am a very worthy person. We all are just 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:06.080 innately that's who we are. And you know, as women, 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:10.399 we're like, I think that we need to understand how 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:13.960 powerful we really are, Like we're literally able, and even 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:18.320 the women that can't still like we're still so so powerful. 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:22.159 Like you're able to give birth, to bring life, to 0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:25.520 do all of these things. And it's like you have 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:28.919 to understand the power that you hold in that. I 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:32.879 agree that goes very deeply. And it's like when you 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.080 choose your partner, it goes so deep into it that 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.199 it's like, now you're choosing the kind of children that 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:41.760 you're going to raise, and you're choosing kind of like 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.360 because a lot of the times, like for example, if 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:48.280 you find let's say, like a narcissistic man, those are 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:51.280 things that are not only like part of their personality, 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.480 it's also genetic. Yeah, and it's like these things can 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:58.080 be packaged exactly. So it's like we have to be 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.919 smart about that. But I got a little bit no. 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:03.119 I know, because that's what I was gonna go to 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:07.360 as well, Like everybody has baggage, right, men, women, any 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:08.720 everybody has baggage? 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:12.399 Have you processed it? Have you worked through it? 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:18.320 Because I don't know if I have the capability any 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:21.760 longer to put up with it, you know what I mean. 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.639 Like I feel like if you're in a healing journey yourself, 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:28.160 like okay, but I don't know if I can carry 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:32.240 the weight and also pass that to my children, you know, 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.880 if you have anger issues, like, let's figure it out now. 0:18:35.960 --> 0:18:38.280 If not figure it out by the time you're dating. 0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:41.640 Me, oh yeah, I know, Like it should be something 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:45.120 where you should feel I think everyone should come into 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:49.960 a relationship already as you know, a like good version 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:53.480 of themselves, not And I think that's another thing that 0:18:53.560 --> 0:18:56.159 a lot of people just accept the minimum because they're like, oh, 0:18:56.200 --> 0:19:00.040 they're gonna change, or like yeah, they're they have these problems, 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:02.479 but we're gonna make it work, and they fall in 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:06.120 love with just like the idea of what someone can be, yeah, 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:08.400 and their potential. But it's like you have to see 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.760 people as who they are, and it's like, why are 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.159 you going to put up with somebody not having it 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:16.800 figured out and just being And what I mean by 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:19.639 that is not like in general, obviously none of us 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:22.840 have it fully figured out, but it's like you're not 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:25.520 gonna put up with somebody that's going to be disrespecting you, 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:28.600 that doesn't treat you well, that doesn't know how to 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:29.199 be a partner. 0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:32.119 At the end of the day, I think leading you 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:37.080 to better, like you know, not backtracking. I feel like 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:40.240 for myself and I don't know you could speak on 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:42.400 it for yourself as too, Like this healing journey has 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:46.840 been so long and it's been a process, and it's 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:49.280 like I do not want to go back, like I 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:51.680 want you to help me move forward, like maybe I'll 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:52.800 discover something. 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:54.760 That I needed to heal on in the future. Are 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:57.000 you going to help me? Like you know what I mean, 0:19:57.080 --> 0:20:00.320 Like I don't want to feel like like tak bad 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:03.439 about or you know, this is just as important as 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.199 is as is as it is important for me. I 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:07.520 hope it is as important for you. 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:12.600 Yeah, one hundred percent. And it's when you have like 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:15.760 healed so much of yourself. I think that helps you 0:20:15.840 --> 0:20:18.280 really understand your worth because you're like, Okay, I'm not 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:23.720 gonna accept anything else because you realize how peaceful it is. 0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:25.720 And I think that's why people stay single for so. 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:27.159 Long, because I feel peace. 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:30.600 I'm happy exactly, and you don't have to deal with 0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:34.119 like oh, like is this person like cheating? Is this 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:37.120 person doing this? And when I say this, by the way, 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:40.240 I'm like just a little PSA. I'm not like coming 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:43.240 from like talking about my last relationship. I just have 0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:47.160 to mention it because I feel like people still correlate that, 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:49.119 which I feel like it's you know, it's been so 0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:50.640 long it doesn't correlate anymore. 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:54.760 But it's just what you've learned, right, what I've learned 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:57.280 about experience, but in general. 0:20:57.040 --> 0:21:01.240 In general, in general, not from that experience though. But yeah, 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:04.080 I think that's why we have like such high standards 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:06.800 because we now when we go through that healing, we 0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:09.679 know our worth now. And it's like it's like this 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:12.840 analogy I heard recently that it's like, just like how 0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:14.720 you don't you know, you don't go to the grocery 0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:17.920 store when you're hungry, why because you're gonna want to 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:20.200 grab everything. You're gonna grab things you don't need. You're 0:21:20.200 --> 0:21:22.600 gonna be like over you're all desperate trying to get everything. 0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:26.240 Same thing with love. Don't go looking for love when 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:28.960 you don't have self worth or when you're lonely. Don't 0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:31.680 try to date out of desperation, because then you're gonna 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:35.280 accept anything. You're gonna accept the bare minimum because you're like, oh, well, 0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:38.280 you know, I this adds to my life. Like I'm lonely, 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:40.119 I don't feel good, so I don't care if they 0:21:40.200 --> 0:21:42.080 treat me a certain type of way, Like you know, 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:44.520 this is still my person. I get to cuddle with 0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:46.640 them at night, I get to do all these cute 0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:50.440 couples things like and it's like it goes so much 0:21:50.640 --> 0:21:54.200 deeper than that. But when you're in that like mentality 0:21:54.240 --> 0:21:58.440 and you feel very lonely, you can easily exactly take 0:21:58.480 --> 0:21:59.320 whatever you can get. 0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:06.119 And I think that's also like before anything, ladies, even men, 0:22:06.520 --> 0:22:09.000 you know, watching or whatever, it's knowing. 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:10.040 Who you are first. 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:13.919 Be secure, be for sure about who you are as 0:22:13.960 --> 0:22:17.680 a person. You're kind, You know what you could provide 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:20.119 and what you can bring to the table. 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:21.560 You know your worth. 0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:24.960 And that's a process like knowing your worth and figuring 0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:27.399 that out, Like especially if you've grown up like in 0:22:27.440 --> 0:22:30.760 a toxic household or an abusive household, like it's hard 0:22:30.760 --> 0:22:33.639 to understand who you are and where you belong. 0:22:34.320 --> 0:22:35.800 But I think that's what starts. 0:22:35.800 --> 0:22:37.720 It's like you have to heal those parts of you 0:22:38.000 --> 0:22:42.280 and then open the door to love, open the door 0:22:42.320 --> 0:22:44.399 and knowing like, Okay, I'm not gonna put up with 0:22:44.440 --> 0:22:45.040 this anymore. 0:22:45.040 --> 0:22:47.040 I don't have time at least for. 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:49.520 Me, I don't have time to put up with any 0:22:49.560 --> 0:22:51.919 type of shit, Like literally, I have too much on 0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:54.840 my plate, Like again, like, are you gonna let's add 0:22:54.880 --> 0:22:55.360 to my life? 0:22:55.440 --> 0:22:59.560 Let's add you know, let's build something together, you know. 0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:03.639 Let's let's speak to people, let's you know, the I'm 0:23:03.680 --> 0:23:05.879 not saying I want someone exactly like me, And I 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:07.920 don't think you wanted someone exactly like you too, because 0:23:07.920 --> 0:23:09.359 then I feel like that would be kind of boring. 0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:13.119 Yeah, no, of course. I honestly, I'm not sure exactly 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:15.359 the type of person that I'm gonna end up with, 0:23:15.960 --> 0:23:17.920 but I agreed with what you were saying you want 0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:19.920 like a business man, I feel like, okay, so like. 0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:21.440 What are what are those? 0:23:22.440 --> 0:23:24.800 Obviously you know, okay, we can't say too much because 0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:27.000 it's like they're gonna be. 0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:30.199 Talking like okay, let me get start my business right now. 0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:31.200 I just. 0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:35.560 No, but it's like it's it's true. It's like I 0:23:35.640 --> 0:23:36.520 do you write it down? 0:23:37.320 --> 0:23:40.280 Girl? I have a list it's called my future husband 0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:42.160 and it's one hundred point. 0:23:42.000 --> 0:23:44.800 Launch and you add it on every day. You're like, 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:46.160 all right, no, not every day. 0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:47.760 I wrote it one time and I was like, I'm 0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:50.320 gonna be so specific right here, because no, you have 0:23:50.400 --> 0:23:52.600 to be yes. And then it's like you'll find like, 0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:55.719 for example, in my dating journey, I've found like guys 0:23:55.760 --> 0:23:58.119 which would take off so many boxes, but then there 0:23:58.119 --> 0:24:01.280 would be like certain things that I could overlook and 0:24:01.320 --> 0:24:03.000 then I would add those to the lists, like, oh, 0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:04.400 that's another thing that we need. 0:24:04.600 --> 0:24:05.720 What are your deal breakers? 0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:10.240 My deal breaker? Hold on, let me go to my list. 0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:14.280 There's a lot. It's because it's hard to think of 0:24:14.400 --> 0:24:14.960 only one. 0:24:15.160 --> 0:24:17.320 Dude, I know, I feel like, what would my deal 0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:21.320 breaker be? I feel like, would you want anybody that's 0:24:21.359 --> 0:24:23.920 an influencer or like you want a. 0:24:23.920 --> 0:24:27.080 Deal breaker to me? I wouldn't mind it. But it's 0:24:27.119 --> 0:24:29.720 not like I'm like, oh, I hope they are you 0:24:29.760 --> 0:24:33.480 know what I'm saying. But I wouldn't. Yeah, I wouldn't 0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:38.320 like not consider them because of that deal breakers. Okay, 0:24:38.359 --> 0:24:42.240 one of my deal breakers would have to be this 0:24:42.400 --> 0:24:45.680 is me personally. Wait, let me think, because I have 0:24:45.800 --> 0:24:51.600 a lot. One thing. Definitely I want a man that 0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:56.200 is romantic, like I don't want a man. 0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:02.399 You know, like okay, sorry to cut you off, but emotional, 0:25:02.560 --> 0:25:04.920 like you want to see that he's emotional too. 0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:11.240 Yeah, I want somebody that is like emotionally vulnerable with 0:25:11.280 --> 0:25:16.560 me and available in that sense. And I'm like, girl, 0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:18.440 I just have a lot of I'm a. 0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:20.879 Little Okay, what's a red flag? 0:25:20.920 --> 0:25:21.080 Then? 0:25:21.200 --> 0:25:23.000 I feel like that's easier. What is like the one? 0:25:23.480 --> 0:25:27.159 Because I feel like, Okay, you're on a date, and 0:25:27.200 --> 0:25:29.200 this is like I feel like everybody could agree if 0:25:29.200 --> 0:25:30.879 he doesn't offer to pay, Is that a red flag? 0:25:31.520 --> 0:25:33.600 Yeah, well it's not that it's a red flag. It's 0:25:33.680 --> 0:25:36.280 just for me personally, I wouldn't accept it. 0:25:36.480 --> 0:25:37.600 Would you go on another date? 0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:39.960 No? I wouldn't go on another date just because well 0:25:39.960 --> 0:25:42.600 that has never happened to me actually in my like 0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:46.119 dating like phase or whatever that I was on. But 0:25:46.560 --> 0:25:48.840 no guy did. And I feel like it's like, you know, 0:25:48.920 --> 0:25:51.920 if you're inviting a woman out and you're not gonna pay, 0:25:52.119 --> 0:25:54.199 it already shows the type of man that you are, 0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:56.800 and it shows how serious. For me. It's like, if 0:25:56.840 --> 0:25:59.879 you really like somebody, you wouldn't care, you know, like 0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:03.320 if these men had like their celebrity crush in front 0:26:03.320 --> 0:26:05.400 of them. You think they would be like, oh, let's 0:26:05.400 --> 0:26:07.440 do fifty to fifty. They would be trying to impress 0:26:07.480 --> 0:26:10.160 the women that they're dating, you know what I'm saying. 0:26:10.200 --> 0:26:12.400 So it's like if you offer that, I just kind 0:26:12.400 --> 0:26:14.960 of feel like, either you just don't really like me 0:26:15.840 --> 0:26:19.160 or I don't know, maybe our our values just don't 0:26:19.160 --> 0:26:20.600 align in that way, which. 0:26:20.440 --> 0:26:22.040 Is fine, but you still so. 0:26:23.119 --> 0:26:25.640 I mean, in that case, I would just pay and 0:26:25.680 --> 0:26:27.800 just not see them again. I would just be like, okay, yeah, 0:26:27.840 --> 0:26:28.879 like we'll do fifty to fifty. 0:26:28.920 --> 0:26:32.200 But clearly that's such anick though. 0:26:32.240 --> 0:26:36.600 It's like, yeah, it's that's what makes it so unattractive, 0:26:37.160 --> 0:26:40.919 Like it's like I don't know, like I feel like 0:26:42.359 --> 0:26:44.520 I just I don't know. It is very unattractive and 0:26:44.680 --> 0:26:46.679 maybe that's just me and it's probably very judgy, but 0:26:46.720 --> 0:26:50.719 it's like, no, like you last me out. You know, 0:26:52.000 --> 0:26:54.840 you're on your phone probably a lot, like you were an. 0:26:54.760 --> 0:26:57.480 A little girl. Oh hell no, that's a big red flow. 0:26:57.760 --> 0:26:59.000 Yes, like being on the. 0:27:01.160 --> 0:27:02.120 Ring on the phone. 0:27:02.280 --> 0:27:05.720 I was on a date one time, not too long ago. 0:27:08.760 --> 0:27:10.160 I should have taken it as a red flat. 0:27:12.119 --> 0:27:16.439 I was love bombed for sure. But we were on 0:27:16.480 --> 0:27:20.480 a date and his phone was out like this or whatever. 0:27:21.359 --> 0:27:24.000 We'd already been like a couple drinks in and whatever 0:27:24.080 --> 0:27:25.920 I was on I had to take a phone call. 0:27:26.280 --> 0:27:27.800 So but he was next to me and his phone 0:27:27.840 --> 0:27:32.040 was on the table like this, and then he's obviously 0:27:32.080 --> 0:27:34.639 looking through stories and then he liked a girl's story 0:27:36.560 --> 0:27:39.440 and I was just like okay. And then in my head, 0:27:39.480 --> 0:27:43.440 I'm like, Okay, he's not your boyfriend. He's maybe talking 0:27:43.440 --> 0:27:46.120 about the people. That's fine or whatever, but I'm like, no, 0:27:46.200 --> 0:27:48.000 but why are you liking it in front of me? 0:27:49.480 --> 0:27:52.360 And my problem my fault was bringing up later on 0:27:52.760 --> 0:27:54.879 right in an argument that was like that was my 0:27:54.960 --> 0:27:55.920 fault completely. 0:27:56.520 --> 0:27:58.840 That was like but I was like, okay, like. 0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:04.560 That, I know that's a red flag, right, I should 0:28:04.560 --> 0:28:07.800 have seen it, like, and his excuse to me was that, oh. 0:28:08.359 --> 0:28:16.560 That's a family friend or whatever. I'm like, like, my cousin, 0:28:16.600 --> 0:28:19.080 I don't like my stories, yeah. 0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:20.880 You know what I mean, Like, I don't. I've never 0:28:20.920 --> 0:28:23.119 had a cousin like my story, a boy cousin. 0:28:23.240 --> 0:28:25.119 Like why, first of all, why is he on his 0:28:25.200 --> 0:28:28.000 phone going through Instagram stories while you're on a date, Yes, 0:28:28.440 --> 0:28:30.520 like that's already like what. 0:28:31.440 --> 0:28:33.119 Anyways, I don't know why I just had to share that, 0:28:33.160 --> 0:28:35.280 But those are red flags ladies, like you got to 0:28:35.280 --> 0:28:36.760 pay attention, like you got. 0:28:36.560 --> 0:28:40.160 To pick up on them, yeah, or. 0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:45.360 Like the phone being like this, I know, like give. 0:28:47.360 --> 0:28:48.000 I don't know. 0:28:48.120 --> 0:28:50.480 It's just a habit, Yeah, it does a habit, but 0:28:50.520 --> 0:28:53.160 it's like they're like little cues, little things like I 0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:57.040 feel like that people miss out on, like they don't 0:28:57.080 --> 0:28:57.880 realize that our. 0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:00.800 Yeah are they just kind of like I think our 0:29:00.840 --> 0:29:03.720 problem too is will like give people the benefit of 0:29:03.720 --> 0:29:06.760 the down, which is like I learned that in dating 0:29:06.880 --> 0:29:10.000 you can't do that. You can't like you have to 0:29:10.040 --> 0:29:12.200 see it, like if you're over here showing me this, 0:29:12.200 --> 0:29:15.200 this and that, then it's like I have to get 0:29:15.320 --> 0:29:17.440 what you're putting down, pick up what you're putting down, 0:29:17.520 --> 0:29:19.880 like I can't just and I think you can be 0:29:19.920 --> 0:29:23.000 blinded sometimes. I feel like I've been personally blinded to 0:29:23.120 --> 0:29:25.480 things before, because you can be like very Let's say 0:29:25.480 --> 0:29:28.280 you're very physically attracted to somebody like oh wow, this 0:29:28.360 --> 0:29:31.440 guy is like so handsome, I really like him, and 0:29:31.480 --> 0:29:34.000 then it's like you know, you're like, oh, maybe I 0:29:34.080 --> 0:29:37.720 could just like let down this one boundary like, oh, 0:29:37.760 --> 0:29:40.600 it's okay if like they do this, But then it's 0:29:40.600 --> 0:29:43.040 like you have to think no, like you know what 0:29:43.080 --> 0:29:46.600 you want. It's like you can't be blinded, you it is, 0:29:46.680 --> 0:29:49.440 because then it's like, girl, that's all it took for 0:29:49.480 --> 0:29:51.960 you to fold. That's all it took for all your 0:29:52.000 --> 0:29:53.800 standards to go out the window. 0:29:53.720 --> 0:29:55.440 For a stranger. Realistic. 0:29:55.600 --> 0:29:58.760 Yeah, at the end of the day, Like, at the 0:29:58.880 --> 0:30:00.640 end of the day, you don't know this man. You 0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:03.040 just are like it's love at first sight because you're 0:30:03.080 --> 0:30:06.200 attracted to them. That's unfortunately it goes. 0:30:06.040 --> 0:30:08.000 We're gonna go on a quick break and we'll be 0:30:08.120 --> 0:30:09.760 right back with about the risk. 0:30:10.000 --> 0:30:12.960 Welcome back you guys. Would you ever do love is blind? 0:30:13.560 --> 0:30:18.920 Oh? Love is blind? That's a girl. That's scary, right, 0:30:19.200 --> 0:30:21.960 I don't know because love isn't blind. I know. 0:30:22.000 --> 0:30:24.120 Okay, So that's what then I think that's what we 0:30:24.160 --> 0:30:25.160 should talk about next. 0:30:25.240 --> 0:30:29.960 Like I don't know, because then I'm so attracted. 0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:32.120 To when like a man is emotionally aware and intelligent 0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:32.640 or whatever. 0:30:32.760 --> 0:30:36.440 Yeah, but then it's like what if they're not, Yeah, 0:30:36.480 --> 0:30:39.640 physically you're physically attracted to them and that's not to 0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:42.080 say that you're like looking for like a supermodel, like 0:30:42.120 --> 0:30:46.000 the most attractive man, but it's like, obviously we all 0:30:46.040 --> 0:30:48.880 have our different tastes. Like guys that I've been attracted to, 0:30:49.000 --> 0:30:52.360 somebody could probably see them and be like, girl, that's 0:30:52.400 --> 0:30:58.280 a little questionable. Are you sure? Yeah? But you know what, like, 0:30:58.880 --> 0:31:01.440 you know, we we all like what we like. But 0:31:01.600 --> 0:31:04.400 it's important to be attracted. You can't just be with 0:31:04.480 --> 0:31:06.920 somebody that you're just not attracted to. I feel like 0:31:06.960 --> 0:31:07.520 I couldn't. 0:31:07.880 --> 0:31:10.320 All right, what are your top three, like a physical 0:31:10.360 --> 0:31:11.600 attraction like you need to. 0:31:13.280 --> 0:31:16.040 I wouldn't say I have Like, well, I prefer a 0:31:16.040 --> 0:31:18.400 man to be fit. I really, you know, that's a 0:31:18.400 --> 0:31:21.880 big thing. And especially because like that's my lifestyle. I 0:31:21.920 --> 0:31:24.000 love going to the gym. I'm very active. That's one 0:31:24.080 --> 0:31:27.680 thing I very like I look out for. My dream 0:31:27.680 --> 0:31:30.760 man is gonna be a tall man like I. You know, 0:31:30.840 --> 0:31:31.280 I feel like. 0:31:31.200 --> 0:31:33.320 Every comer than you because you're a tall girl too. 0:31:33.240 --> 0:31:35.360 Right, I'm tall? Yeah, well I'm five to five. I 0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:39.000 feel like that's pretty tall for a Mexican girl. And 0:31:39.160 --> 0:31:41.400 those are like I think those are my main things. 0:31:41.440 --> 0:31:43.040 Like other than that, I don't have like, oh, they 0:31:43.040 --> 0:31:46.200 have to have this specific characteristic or they have to 0:31:46.240 --> 0:31:49.600 look like this. I think as long as I'm attracted 0:31:49.640 --> 0:31:51.560 to them, Okay, is it weird? 0:31:51.720 --> 0:31:56.240 Tell me if I'm being judgy, then nice hands and. 0:31:56.520 --> 0:31:59.320 That's good too. That's good too. Yeah. 0:31:59.880 --> 0:32:01.880 I don't want like if I see that you're like. 0:32:01.920 --> 0:32:06.760 Your nails, oh hygiene one hundred yes, hyie like the 0:32:06.760 --> 0:32:11.080 things that I get on, Yeah, at all. I don't 0:32:11.080 --> 0:32:13.880 want a krusty like, don't want your You got to 0:32:13.880 --> 0:32:18.160 be put together, especially because obviously when you're a person 0:32:18.200 --> 0:32:20.640 who takes care of themselves, you want somebody that does 0:32:20.680 --> 0:32:24.120 the same. It's like it's kind of most unattractive. It's 0:32:24.240 --> 0:32:25.680 like a lot like you take. 0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:28.360 Care of Okay, you smell good, you look good, you 0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:32.120 look clean, like you got some lotion on those elbows, 0:32:32.160 --> 0:32:32.480 like you know. 0:32:32.480 --> 0:32:33.120 What I mean, Like. 0:32:33.160 --> 0:32:36.360 Little details like that you take care of, like where 0:32:36.400 --> 0:32:41.360 you live, maybe your car is probably clean. Like it 0:32:41.520 --> 0:32:44.160 sounds picky as fuck you guys, but it's true. 0:32:44.160 --> 0:32:47.440 It's like those things lead to other other examples, like 0:32:47.680 --> 0:32:49.200 how they can take care of you as well. 0:32:49.520 --> 0:32:51.920 I agree. And there's a saying that says how you 0:32:51.960 --> 0:32:54.120 do one and how does it go. How you do 0:32:55.000 --> 0:32:59.160 anything is how you do everything. Yeah, and that really Yeah, 0:32:59.160 --> 0:33:01.880 it's true because because if they take care of you know, 0:33:02.040 --> 0:33:04.800 their house, their car, all of that, Yeah, they're gonna 0:33:04.800 --> 0:33:08.040 take care of you too, because they they care to 0:33:08.160 --> 0:33:09.560 be caring. 0:33:09.280 --> 0:33:12.880 Yes, exactly, And that's the point. Like even as women 0:33:12.920 --> 0:33:14.920 as well, like we should be also be taking care 0:33:14.960 --> 0:33:18.000 of ourselves. Like yeah, I'm very big on like having 0:33:18.000 --> 0:33:19.920 my men a caure of my piticures, like it makes 0:33:19.960 --> 0:33:22.080 me feel good as a girl, as a woman me too, 0:33:22.320 --> 0:33:24.920 Like you know, making sure my hair is like you know, 0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:27.480 I'm on top my color and all that stuff. It 0:33:27.800 --> 0:33:30.040 presents yourself like you have to show yourself like I'm 0:33:30.040 --> 0:33:32.560 taking care of myself on the outside and the inside. 0:33:32.640 --> 0:33:34.840 Yeah, and it doesn't even have to be anything crazy, 0:33:34.880 --> 0:33:37.640 because I know it's like sometimes at the nail salons 0:33:37.680 --> 0:33:40.720 they be charging like oh curl, they be charging crazy prices. 0:33:41.160 --> 0:33:44.640 But even like you know, obviously like taking a shower, 0:33:44.920 --> 0:33:47.600 doing these things, keeping your nails cut and clean, not 0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:50.880 having freaking dirt in your freaking nails, these are things 0:33:50.880 --> 0:33:55.479 that anyone can do. I agree, And and yeah, like 0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:57.680 it's it's important, It's very important. 0:33:57.760 --> 0:34:02.040 Okay, so I have a hot take mama's boys. What 0:34:02.080 --> 0:34:06.560 if he's the only boy. Oh, I've had my fair share. 0:34:08.239 --> 0:34:11.160 I don't think I could do it. I've I've dated 0:34:12.920 --> 0:34:14.160 two mama's boys. 0:34:14.480 --> 0:34:17.040 What do you think qualifies somebody as a mama's boy? 0:34:18.360 --> 0:34:20.920 Okay? I feel like when they run to tell. 0:34:20.800 --> 0:34:26.560 Their mom everything, oh, like evolving like obviously, like you 0:34:26.560 --> 0:34:30.120 can obviously have a great relationship with your MoMA, wonderful. 0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:34.560 You mean, like involving, like telling them all your problems, Like. 0:34:36.080 --> 0:34:39.440 I feel like it in my eyes. Yeah, you look 0:34:39.480 --> 0:34:43.400 a little bit less of a man to me, just 0:34:43.480 --> 0:34:46.240 a little bit. I agree, Like I just it's a turnoff. 0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:51.480 It's definitely a turnoff. And I feel like that limits 0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:54.400 me down because I can't like a girl. It's hard, 0:34:54.680 --> 0:34:56.520 It's it's very unattractive. 0:34:57.160 --> 0:35:00.080 It's hard, like you're meant to be a man, Like, 0:35:00.480 --> 0:35:02.920 I don't think your mom needs to know everything that happens. 0:35:03.760 --> 0:35:06.239 And I think that goes even into just like the 0:35:06.280 --> 0:35:08.799 respect of the relationship. I don't think you should ever 0:35:09.000 --> 0:35:12.840 tell your problems that you have with your partner to everyone. 0:35:12.880 --> 0:35:16.160 Like I understand that there's certain things you might share 0:35:16.360 --> 0:35:18.719 at certain moments with certain people, but for you to 0:35:18.800 --> 0:35:21.239 go and run and like tell your mom everything and 0:35:21.280 --> 0:35:24.160 then usually it's like when you're having an argument if 0:35:24.200 --> 0:35:25.799 I don't know, I haven't been in this situation, but 0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:29.520 I feel like in a mama's boy, not in that 0:35:29.600 --> 0:35:32.319 sense like I want. What I like is like a 0:35:32.360 --> 0:35:35.640 man that you know has a good relationship with his mom, 0:35:35.640 --> 0:35:39.000 but that has boundaries too, So it's like you can't 0:35:39.000 --> 0:35:42.000 be telling all our business because then I feel like 0:35:42.040 --> 0:35:44.880 a mama's boy is created from a mother that doesn't 0:35:44.880 --> 0:35:48.680 know boundaries either. And then it's like there's just like weird, 0:35:48.840 --> 0:35:51.239 like there's no boundaries in that relationship. 0:35:50.760 --> 0:35:55.000 Because then I feel like you're constantly fighting. It's you 0:35:55.080 --> 0:35:55.920 and the mom fighting. 0:35:56.200 --> 0:35:58.160 Yeah, Like the mom's always going to have a higher 0:35:58.200 --> 0:35:59.640 position in his life. 0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:02.760 And that's not right, Like your wife should come first 0:36:03.440 --> 0:36:06.319 and that's it. And as my husband, you're gonna be 0:36:06.360 --> 0:36:09.359 first for me too. So it's like you, yeah, you 0:36:09.440 --> 0:36:11.799 never want to feel like you're competing with his mom. 0:36:11.840 --> 0:36:16.680 Like that's just weird, Like that's I don't know. I 0:36:16.680 --> 0:36:18.000 I wouldn't I wouldn't do. 0:36:18.000 --> 0:36:20.480 That, Okay, So would you say you and your partner 0:36:21.920 --> 0:36:24.879 relationship the mom doesn't like you? 0:36:25.520 --> 0:36:27.400 Are you leaving or you're saying. 0:36:28.600 --> 0:36:33.520 If the mom doesn't like me? But I know I'm saying, 0:36:33.560 --> 0:36:36.680 but I feel like if someone didn't like me, like, 0:36:36.920 --> 0:36:39.480 why wouldn't you like me? Okay, you know what I'm saying. 0:36:39.560 --> 0:36:43.000 What if your partner didn't defend you, your man didn't. 0:36:42.920 --> 0:36:45.440 Oh, if they don't, yeah, then I couldn't be with 0:36:45.520 --> 0:36:48.279 them because then that's that feels like it's gonna be 0:36:48.320 --> 0:36:50.640 an ongoing problem and I don't want to deal with that, 0:36:50.719 --> 0:36:53.240 Like you never want to come second. I think any 0:36:53.320 --> 0:36:57.200 man that loves his woman is gonna put them first 0:36:57.600 --> 0:37:01.320 and is obviously gonna choose, not choose, because you shouldn't 0:37:01.320 --> 0:37:03.400 have to choose. But if it was a case like 0:37:03.440 --> 0:37:07.719 that where like the mom was being just what's the 0:37:07.800 --> 0:37:09.160 word respect? 0:37:09.400 --> 0:37:10.040 Ispect? 0:37:10.160 --> 0:37:14.719 Like just being I can't what's the word for this? 0:37:15.200 --> 0:37:15.799 Overbearing? 0:37:15.880 --> 0:37:20.800 Maybe overbearing or like and also disrespectful and like treating 0:37:20.840 --> 0:37:26.400 your woman badly, And it's like you're choosing to defend 0:37:26.440 --> 0:37:30.960 your mom over your wife staying quiet that too, it's 0:37:31.040 --> 0:37:33.120 like you have to be able to be the man 0:37:33.160 --> 0:37:36.120 to step in and defend the person that you're with, 0:37:36.960 --> 0:37:39.680 and that just shows not only in that situation, but 0:37:39.719 --> 0:37:41.480 it just shows a lot about the type of person 0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:43.560 they are. So if that's not the type of person 0:37:43.600 --> 0:37:46.320 you are, then I don't think that our values aligned 0:37:46.360 --> 0:37:48.000 and I don't think we're going to be a good 0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:48.759 fit for each other. 0:37:48.840 --> 0:37:53.160 And then I think that's also not respecting yourself as 0:37:53.200 --> 0:37:56.680 a woman. Yeah, you know, like I'm sorry if you 0:37:56.680 --> 0:37:59.080 don't respect me when it comes to your mother. And 0:37:59.120 --> 0:38:01.799 I feel like that it's a hard conversation to have 0:38:02.200 --> 0:38:04.439 because it's obviously the mother, the one that gave birth 0:38:04.480 --> 0:38:07.759 to that person, and then you the person that's loving 0:38:07.760 --> 0:38:08.839 and caring for him right now. 0:38:08.840 --> 0:38:12.480 But it's like, oh, like it goes like really deep, 0:38:12.880 --> 0:38:13.440 but it is. 0:38:13.440 --> 0:38:15.160 Like a sign like how much are you going to 0:38:15.239 --> 0:38:19.600 respect yourself to like, Okay, you know, sadly, this is 0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:20.120 what it is. 0:38:20.239 --> 0:38:23.080 And and Amanda loves you will never put you in 0:38:23.120 --> 0:38:26.400 that position. No, Like they won't, No, they won't, they 0:38:26.440 --> 0:38:27.239 won't allow it. 0:38:27.360 --> 0:38:30.040 Yeah, And I think more than anything, and if anybody 0:38:30.120 --> 0:38:33.040 like you know, choosing to listen here and obviously coming 0:38:33.080 --> 0:38:36.040 from Boo's podcasts as well, like as people that have 0:38:36.160 --> 0:38:41.240 gone through healing experiences traumatic experiences as well, like and relationships. 0:38:41.400 --> 0:38:44.719 Respecting yourself is always going to be number one, and 0:38:44.719 --> 0:38:49.000 that also respecting your own boundaries and respecting your standards. 0:38:49.280 --> 0:38:51.440 And you're not crazy. I know, I'm not crazy about 0:38:52.040 --> 0:38:52.840 You're not crazy. 0:38:52.920 --> 0:38:54.120 You know, you're not crazy. 0:38:53.840 --> 0:38:56.680 About having these standards or being quote unquote picky if 0:38:56.719 --> 0:38:59.359 you guys see it as being picky. It's when you've 0:38:59.400 --> 0:39:02.720 been through so many things and experience different parts of life, 0:39:02.920 --> 0:39:06.360 you already know what to accept and not to accept. 0:39:07.080 --> 0:39:09.360 I read in the book it's like it's as much access. 0:39:10.200 --> 0:39:12.440 It's as much access as you give that person, Like 0:39:12.520 --> 0:39:15.600 I'm letting you into my heart. That is as much access, 0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:18.440 like I'm giving you basically my whole life, you know. 0:39:19.040 --> 0:39:23.560 And it's it's how much are you going to accept? 0:39:23.560 --> 0:39:26.759 How much are you gonna and how much are you 0:39:26.840 --> 0:39:31.080 going to know that you deserve? You know, it's your 0:39:31.080 --> 0:39:33.680 heart is sacred, It's it's meant to be protected. What 0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:37.279 goes goes through your heart also comes out, you know, 0:39:37.360 --> 0:39:38.840 in the physical and into the world. 0:39:38.880 --> 0:39:45.160 So it's like be mindful of choosing, be mindful. I 0:39:45.200 --> 0:39:48.560 can't even say no, but it's like also being mindful 0:39:48.560 --> 0:39:50.880 of who you're choosing in your life. You know, like 0:39:51.600 --> 0:39:54.880 it's a whole other person. It's baggage, it's everything that 0:39:54.920 --> 0:39:57.360 person comes along with and are they willing to accept 0:39:57.400 --> 0:39:59.520 the stuff that you came along what you bring to 0:39:59.520 --> 0:40:00.719 the table, well. 0:40:00.719 --> 0:40:04.520 Exactly, you know. And it's always put yourself first and. 0:40:04.920 --> 0:40:07.560 Learn know you're worth girls, know you're worth your men. 0:40:08.200 --> 0:40:11.799 Women are so special in this world. We're smarter for 0:40:11.840 --> 0:40:12.360 a reason. 0:40:13.560 --> 0:40:15.760 We mature fast, we mature faster. 0:40:15.960 --> 0:40:19.480 We know we have babies, Like our bodies are designed 0:40:19.480 --> 0:40:23.360 and created so beautifully and wonderfully made. 0:40:23.440 --> 0:40:26.000 Like you have to appreciate it. 0:40:26.080 --> 0:40:29.520 You're not just like worthless or you know, you don't 0:40:29.560 --> 0:40:33.000 deserve to be treated like any type of way. 0:40:33.120 --> 0:40:36.640 You are powerful. You know who you are. You know 0:40:36.719 --> 0:40:39.440 what you bring to the table. You can conquer anything 0:40:39.440 --> 0:40:40.040 in this world. 0:40:40.200 --> 0:40:43.439 And you deserve and willing of every ounce of love 0:40:44.400 --> 0:40:47.880 that is I don't want to say that is offered 0:40:47.880 --> 0:40:50.360 because that can be multiple people whatever. No, it's like 0:40:50.760 --> 0:40:54.400 you have to just know the cues, know the red flags. 0:40:55.719 --> 0:40:57.879 And let people earn your love. 0:40:58.120 --> 0:40:59.680 Yes, don't just get it out. 0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:03.279 Yeah, give it to the first person, like, give it 0:41:03.280 --> 0:41:07.160 to someone that actually like you know, give it to 0:41:07.440 --> 0:41:11.239 the person that truly shows you that they're deserving of 0:41:11.280 --> 0:41:14.480 that because you do give so much to the people 0:41:14.480 --> 0:41:17.279 that you love, So make sure that it's somebody that 0:41:17.440 --> 0:41:19.160 is going to give back to you and pour back 0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:24.000 into you. Yes, and yeah, don't accept just anything, trust 0:41:24.120 --> 0:41:25.520 me please. 0:41:25.040 --> 0:41:27.160 And soulties, we're going to bring it back, do not, 0:41:27.480 --> 0:41:31.879 because that's that stuff sticks with you, like you don't 0:41:31.880 --> 0:41:33.799 know where that person has been. If you guys are 0:41:33.840 --> 0:41:35.200 just looking to hook up, like. 0:41:35.200 --> 0:41:38.280 Okay, no disrespect whatever you guys want to do. Everybody 0:41:38.280 --> 0:41:39.040 makes their own life. 0:41:38.960 --> 0:41:44.399 Choices, but know the consequences the harns, and you don't 0:41:44.440 --> 0:41:48.279 know where that person has been or the people that 0:41:48.320 --> 0:41:50.080 he's already hooked up with has been. 0:41:50.520 --> 0:41:53.279 So whatever those people have are coming into you. 0:41:53.800 --> 0:41:58.600 Yeah, and it's serious, yes, like the amount of even 0:41:58.680 --> 0:42:01.120 like you go into Soulti and then you go into 0:42:01.160 --> 0:42:03.839 all of this, but then you also have like STDs, 0:42:03.880 --> 0:42:07.319 like people aren't just over here, you know these men 0:42:07.360 --> 0:42:11.120 be I don't know. You have to protect yourself in 0:42:11.200 --> 0:42:13.919 every way because you don't know how something is gonna 0:42:13.960 --> 0:42:14.480 affect you. 0:42:15.160 --> 0:42:18.480 Don't get love bomb ladies. If they're telling you like this, this, this, 0:42:18.520 --> 0:42:25.720 and then they want to have sex on the first date. No, honey, no, no, no, 0:42:25.960 --> 0:42:27.240 like please don't. 0:42:27.200 --> 0:42:32.040 Please, Like it's like again, know your worth, respect your body. 0:42:32.520 --> 0:42:35.120 It is so beautiful, it's so powerful. Do not just 0:42:35.200 --> 0:42:38.680 let like getta come and just mess it all up 0:42:38.719 --> 0:42:42.399 for you, because that that is a whole nother healing thing. 0:42:42.520 --> 0:42:43.320 That's traumatic. 0:42:43.600 --> 0:42:46.920 Yeah, it is very traumatic, and I think that people, 0:42:47.760 --> 0:42:50.080 when they're not aware of it, they can just you know, 0:42:50.200 --> 0:42:53.120 cause a lot of harm to themselves without even realizing 0:42:53.840 --> 0:42:57.840 what's actually happening. And the bonds that you're creating with people, 0:42:57.880 --> 0:43:02.040 the people that are you know, it's like it takes 0:43:02.040 --> 0:43:04.160 a long time, I think to get to know somebody 0:43:04.200 --> 0:43:06.960 and to really see what kind of person they are, 0:43:07.719 --> 0:43:10.760 So you don't know who you're letting into your body 0:43:10.880 --> 0:43:14.759 and what they're gonna give you in every sense of 0:43:14.800 --> 0:43:15.640 that word. Yeah. 0:43:16.000 --> 0:43:18.719 So just because even after you get married too, this 0:43:18.960 --> 0:43:21.160 I've always heard and even I asked my sister, like 0:43:21.640 --> 0:43:23.600 she recently got married, but they've lived together for a 0:43:23.600 --> 0:43:26.640 long time. It's like, you know, you discover new things 0:43:27.360 --> 0:43:30.239 after and then isn't there like a saying where it's 0:43:30.239 --> 0:43:32.560 like you don't really know someone unless you've talked to 0:43:32.600 --> 0:43:33.719 them or been with them. 0:43:33.600 --> 0:43:34.960 For like two years or something like that. 0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:39.160 Hmmm, something like that. So obviously the point is is 0:43:39.200 --> 0:43:40.080 like take your time. 0:43:40.600 --> 0:43:43.719 I'm not saying don't give it, like you know, you 0:43:43.760 --> 0:43:46.759 could do whatever you want with buddy, but like take 0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:50.840 your time, like understand, like you know who you're talking to, 0:43:51.040 --> 0:43:53.080 what they do, Like again. 0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:56.399 What baggage do they carry? Like what trauma have they 0:43:56.440 --> 0:43:59.120 been through? Can they help you or can you help them? 0:43:59.200 --> 0:44:03.160 Like you know, grow Like everything is about growing together. 0:44:03.320 --> 0:44:05.759 And if there's anything that I would love for you 0:44:05.800 --> 0:44:08.520 guys to take out of this podcast is again knowing 0:44:08.560 --> 0:44:15.040 you're worth, respecting yourself and not just taking anything, don't 0:44:15.080 --> 0:44:15.720 take everything. 0:44:16.480 --> 0:44:17.920 Be mindful, be. 0:44:17.960 --> 0:44:23.560 Very mindful dating and pour into yourself, give yourself all 0:44:23.560 --> 0:44:26.239 that love that you crave, give it to yourself, and 0:44:26.320 --> 0:44:29.319 eventually that person will come around. You will always, yeah, 0:44:29.360 --> 0:44:32.440 you'll find that person. Have you sorry? I forgot to 0:44:32.480 --> 0:44:34.120 ask her. I wanted to ask you earlier when you 0:44:34.160 --> 0:44:36.000 were talking about this. So you know how you said 0:44:36.040 --> 0:44:39.560 you're you know, wanting to start getting settling down and 0:44:39.600 --> 0:44:42.560 all that. Yes, have you been putting yourself in certain 0:44:42.600 --> 0:44:44.239 positions to meet somebody? 0:44:44.600 --> 0:44:47.919 I've been going out a little bit more like I'll 0:44:47.920 --> 0:44:50.560 go I don't go out to like parties or bars 0:44:51.640 --> 0:44:54.680 or clubs. I don't feel like my man is going 0:44:54.719 --> 0:44:56.480 to be in the club. 0:44:56.760 --> 0:44:59.760 Yeah no, I So I'll. 0:44:59.640 --> 0:45:02.560 Go to maybe to like maybe. Uh. I went to 0:45:02.600 --> 0:45:04.320 Mastros with my friend the other day. We went to 0:45:04.360 --> 0:45:07.080 go eat. We sat there at the bar at the table, 0:45:07.239 --> 0:45:08.960 like you know, right there sitting and we were just 0:45:09.000 --> 0:45:12.040 talking or whatever. And I think I'm just more open 0:45:12.080 --> 0:45:12.399 to it. 0:45:12.560 --> 0:45:15.920 Like I feel like when you're when the idea in 0:45:15.960 --> 0:45:19.520 your head, when you open the door, it attracts, yeah, 0:45:19.719 --> 0:45:22.360 because then you look close off, like you know what 0:45:22.400 --> 0:45:24.600 I mean. So I'll go out to like maybe if 0:45:24.600 --> 0:45:27.480 I'm invited. If I'm invited to a party. You know, 0:45:28.280 --> 0:45:31.480 I don't usually drink. I'm very like you know, and 0:45:31.520 --> 0:45:34.200 I'm not saying not having fun or whatever, but I'm 0:45:34.520 --> 0:45:38.399 the door's open. I put myself in positions like I'll 0:45:38.440 --> 0:45:42.840 go out with my sister or you know, whatever occasion 0:45:42.840 --> 0:45:45.200 that I'm able to like yeah, like, and I make 0:45:45.320 --> 0:45:48.040 myself like I know in my head like okay. 0:45:48.040 --> 0:45:51.560 You're like present in the moment and aware of around 0:45:51.680 --> 0:45:52.440 and everything that. 0:45:52.520 --> 0:45:54.880 Like I'm you know, I'm not, but I'm also not 0:45:55.040 --> 0:45:58.520 like out there. 0:45:58.920 --> 0:46:01.360 Yeah, like you're not like going and like talking. 0:46:01.560 --> 0:46:02.399 Yeah, no, no, no. 0:46:02.680 --> 0:46:04.560 Do you do like when you see a guy that 0:46:04.600 --> 0:46:07.320 you're attracted to, do you just like do you smile 0:46:07.360 --> 0:46:08.160 at them? 0:46:08.440 --> 0:46:11.960 Oh my god, I don't. Oh maybe I do, maybe 0:46:12.000 --> 0:46:14.400 like a smirk. Maybe like a smirk. 0:46:14.480 --> 0:46:16.319 That's good, you should. Well, this is what I've heard. 0:46:16.360 --> 0:46:18.279 I'm too shy. I feel like most of the time 0:46:18.320 --> 0:46:20.040 when I see a guy I'm attracted to, I'm not 0:46:20.080 --> 0:46:23.200 gonna lie. You don't go, I like, no, never, I'm 0:46:23.440 --> 0:46:25.080 and I don't want to be the first one to 0:46:25.120 --> 0:46:27.600 make the move. But you know you're supposed to, like, 0:46:27.719 --> 0:46:30.000 you know, show them you're interested, like smile at them 0:46:30.040 --> 0:46:32.759 and stuff. But I still need to work on it. 0:46:32.800 --> 0:46:34.520 I know. It feels like a little weird. It's like 0:46:34.880 --> 0:46:36.319 what if you smile at them and they're like. 0:46:36.600 --> 0:46:39.040 I know, what if they just like ignore you? It's 0:46:39.080 --> 0:46:39.719 scary too. 0:46:39.840 --> 0:46:43.080 Oh yeah, the door is open. And like I feel 0:46:43.080 --> 0:46:46.319 like again it's all about mentally as well. Like if 0:46:46.360 --> 0:46:48.640 you're opposed to it, it's gonna look like that on 0:46:48.719 --> 0:46:50.799 the outside. Yeah, but if you're open to it, it's 0:46:50.800 --> 0:46:52.399 gonna look like that on the outside as well. 0:46:53.440 --> 0:46:57.120 So we're gonna come back and when we're both in relationships, 0:46:57.120 --> 0:47:00.399 we're gonna talk about this again. Oh my gosh, where 0:47:00.400 --> 0:47:02.879 we're at like of with our dream mens, like this 0:47:02.920 --> 0:47:03.960 is going to happen. 0:47:03.680 --> 0:47:04.640 Like I'm excited. 0:47:04.880 --> 0:47:07.560 Yes, yes, because we're manifesting. 0:47:07.600 --> 0:47:11.640 It's all about manifesting, putting it out, praying to God, Like, look, God, 0:47:12.040 --> 0:47:14.160 I say this every day, and you guys probably think 0:47:14.200 --> 0:47:18.200 I'm crazy, but I literally say, God, wherever my husband's at, 0:47:18.480 --> 0:47:21.880 make sure, you know, prepare him, prepare me, prepare me 0:47:22.000 --> 0:47:25.520 for my future husband that he's also being in preparation, 0:47:25.600 --> 0:47:28.320 like you're getting him ready, like you know, you're healing 0:47:28.360 --> 0:47:30.720 parts of him, like whatever he's. 0:47:30.520 --> 0:47:32.880 In, blessed him, protect him. 0:47:32.880 --> 0:47:35.000 You have to put it out there. You have to 0:47:35.040 --> 0:47:40.120 be willing to receive it and also pray that God 0:47:40.200 --> 0:47:43.000 is preparing you. You know that you're in the healing 0:47:43.040 --> 0:47:44.760 process and whatever. 0:47:44.840 --> 0:47:46.760 But like I said, right. 0:47:46.800 --> 0:47:49.799 I'm sure your husband he's gonna appreciate that so much. 0:47:50.520 --> 0:47:54.719 Yeah, thanks, Your man's gonna appreciate the bullet points too. 0:47:56.239 --> 0:47:58.600 One hundred and ninety. You're going to get that. Maybe 0:47:58.719 --> 0:48:02.839 just one that's like whatever, But yeah, fine, you'll get 0:48:02.880 --> 0:48:05.480 we're getting them. We're gonna get. No, we are, and 0:48:05.520 --> 0:48:08.120 it's and if we're gonna the weight is going to 0:48:08.200 --> 0:48:11.480 be worth it, like the weight in the process. 0:48:11.560 --> 0:48:14.040 Like sometimes you also wait a little longer for something. 0:48:14.080 --> 0:48:17.160 It's gonna be honorable, Like you know you're gonna respect 0:48:17.160 --> 0:48:20.520 yourself even more that you waited this long for. 0:48:22.000 --> 0:48:25.360 This type of man, for the right one. Yes, I'm ready. 0:48:25.400 --> 0:48:26.319 We're ready for it, and. 0:48:26.280 --> 0:48:28.239 We're gonna we're gonna come back and we're gonna talk 0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:30.080 about it and we'll be like yep. 0:48:30.239 --> 0:48:33.399 Oh wait, wait, I actually can't wait for that day. 0:48:33.440 --> 0:48:35.319 Like I'm excited for that to come day. 0:48:35.719 --> 0:48:38.000 When you find this one and you're aus. 0:48:38.040 --> 0:48:40.640 I feel like when we're on our first date, I 0:48:40.640 --> 0:48:42.360 feel like we would know. Do you feel like you 0:48:42.360 --> 0:48:42.719 would know? 0:48:42.840 --> 0:48:47.040 Like maybe like I think definitely you would have like 0:48:47.280 --> 0:48:50.360 a tingle like yeah, you would for sure know something 0:48:50.440 --> 0:48:52.520 like wait, I kind of do like him more than 0:48:52.520 --> 0:48:53.000 I thought. 0:48:53.160 --> 0:48:55.080 Yeah, like somebody have to be careful. 0:48:55.280 --> 0:48:58.200 No, of course, of course, but I feel like because 0:48:58.200 --> 0:49:02.480 we're aware, like are motions like can obviously deceive us 0:49:02.560 --> 0:49:05.120 in our heart, But like I feel like there's gonna 0:49:05.120 --> 0:49:07.080 be like that one on the first In the. 0:49:07.040 --> 0:49:09.680 Back of your mind, you're like, like, oh, where this goes? 0:49:09.800 --> 0:49:15.440 Yeah, this one's interesting, Like this this is convincing, but 0:49:15.480 --> 0:49:16.200 it's exciting. 0:49:16.960 --> 0:49:19.480 I do wish you luck. I'm gonna be thank you 0:49:19.480 --> 0:49:20.120 for your man. 0:49:20.520 --> 0:49:22.680 I'm gonna be praying for you, just your future in general, 0:49:22.880 --> 0:49:26.239 because you're beautiful and you are worthy and deserving all 0:49:26.239 --> 0:49:26.640 the love. 0:49:26.960 --> 0:49:28.440 Thank you in the world. 0:49:29.280 --> 0:49:32.319 We're gonna be We're gonna be texting. We're like, did 0:49:32.360 --> 0:49:35.760 you see I'm going to date anyways you guys. Bao 0:49:35.880 --> 0:49:40.440 does have her own podcast. She just started it, My 0:49:40.600 --> 0:49:45.359 Best Self Police, Share your socials, share where you can 0:49:45.400 --> 0:49:46.279 find it, and all that. 0:49:46.640 --> 0:49:50.239 Thank you. So we are on I believe we're available 0:49:50.320 --> 0:49:54.560 on any streaming like wherever you hear, Spotify, Apple, all 0:49:54.600 --> 0:49:58.480 of that. YouTube at my Best Self and then Instagram 0:49:58.520 --> 0:50:02.040 I think is my best self paw to my Instagram 0:50:02.160 --> 0:50:04.560 is ipare if you guys want to follow me there, 0:50:05.080 --> 0:50:07.400 and yeah, thank you, thank you so much for having me. 0:50:07.480 --> 0:50:10.680 This was so fun. I feel like these conversations are needed. 0:50:10.600 --> 0:50:13.439 Yes, of course, and I feel like some girls don't 0:50:13.440 --> 0:50:15.520 have those girlfriends, and I feel like, you know, we 0:50:15.560 --> 0:50:16.960 could talk about it, have a good time, and I 0:50:17.000 --> 0:50:19.320 feel like they're important conversations to have. If you guys 0:50:19.640 --> 0:50:22.920 please took anything from this podcast, like, leave a comment, 0:50:23.000 --> 0:50:25.440 leave a life, let us know, go to bout podcast. 0:50:25.520 --> 0:50:29.560 She is all about it as well, about moving to 0:50:29.719 --> 0:50:32.280 the to the next level of your life, about improving 0:50:32.320 --> 0:50:35.200 your life, how to heal all that good stuff. 0:50:35.239 --> 0:50:37.719 So make sure you guys go check out her podcast. 0:50:37.920 --> 0:50:40.399 Make sure you guys leave a like comment, subscribe here, 0:50:40.560 --> 0:50:42.400 and I will see you guys next Tuesday. 0:50:42.680 --> 0:50:42.960 Bye. 0:50:45.480 --> 0:50:49.480 Overcome for Podcasts is a production of IHEARTMC podcast Network.