WEBVTT - Practical Ways I Manage My ADHD Mind 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.280 When your mind feels chaotic, which usually it does for us, 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:06.240 you need to create organization externally to feel some sort 0:00:06.280 --> 0:00:08.960 of peace and calm internally. Now, some people say I 0:00:09.080 --> 0:00:12.440 have organized chaos around me, and I think I believe it, 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:17.400 but I also don't, because actually just organized calm is 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:20.560 better than organized chaos. I'm Radi Wukiah and on my 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:24.319 podcast A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy and 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:28.080 the beautiful, providing a space for raw, unfielded conversations that 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:31.560 celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn, 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:36.120 connect and find comfort together. Hello, welcome back to this 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:37.760 week's episode of A Really Good Cry. 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:39.800 Thank you so much for coming back here. 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:42.640 So grateful for you all, and honestly, I have to 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:47.519 say that this community has just become so surprisingly I 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:49.320 don't know why. I didn't expect it to be incredible, 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:52.559 but you guys are absolutely incredible. When I read your 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:55.480 dms and I see the comments on that page, and 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:58.760 some of you have come completely randomly to A Really 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:02.680 Good Cry, not even through my page, and it's so 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:04.920 so lovely to experience this new energy of people coming 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:08.520 through and actually connecting on things that we just want 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:09.120 to get better. 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:11.560 At in life like that's such a beautiful community to build. 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.679 So thank you again, so grateful for you all. And 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:15.399 today I want to. 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:17.440 Talk about a topic that is very near and dear 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:19.600 to my heart because it's something that I used to 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:23.680 be a little bit disheartened by. But I feel like 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.280 I've really turned it into a bit of a superpower 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.720 and found a way to really use it to my advantage. 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:32.160 And I really wanted to share that because I know 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:37.959 sometimes having ADHD can for really overwhelming and difficult, but 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:41.680 actually I think that there is a beautiful silver lining 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:43.080 in it, and if you use the right tools and 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:46.640 techniques in your life, there is a possibility to really 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:48.280 make it work for you, even if right now it 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:50.640 feels like that's not possible, which is a position I 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:53.040 was definitely in my ADHD mind. Was something that I 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:55.520 used to think was such a disadvantage. I used to 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:59.640 feel really behind, feel really misunderstood, feel sad that I 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:03.080 was mislabeled as inconsistent because I really don't want to 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:06.000 be inconsistent or people expecting me to just not finish 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:09.160 things or be really late all the time, and noticing 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.840 myself interrupting people when they're talking even though I really 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.120 wanted to hear what they were saying. You know, for 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:17.960 other people, it can show up in erratic emotions or 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:22.480 small things feeling really big oversharing in social settings. The 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:25.720 fact is, to really appreciate it, we kind of have 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.720 to go back and understand what ADHD actually is. And 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:30.320 so the first thing that we have to come to 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:34.959 terms with is that our mind moves way faster than 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.520 the average person, and we have this content fear of 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:39.919 forgetting what we want to say, moving from one topic 0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:44.239 to another within one sentence, or topic hopping in conversations constantly. 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:46.560 And it's so funny because I remember when me and 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:50.360 Jay started dating. He would be talking about something and 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:52.560 I would ask a question or make a comment that 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:56.240 seemed absolutely unrelated to what he said, which would make 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:58.640 him feel like I just wasn't listening or paying attention 0:02:58.760 --> 0:02:59.320 or didn't care. 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:00.600 But it was that at all. 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:05.239 It's like, if he said the word India in his sentence, 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:09.040 by the time he's finished his sentence, my mind has gone, hmm, India. 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.160 I bought this top in India. Oh God, I really 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:13.400 need to get dry clean hmm. I wonder if he 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.040 needs to get anything dry clean, then we could send 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:18.520 our stuff together. And so my response to whatever he 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:20.720 was saying would be, do you need to do anything 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:25.120 dry clean today? And he would be like, wait, have 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:28.079 you even been listening to anything I've been saying? Why 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:29.600 would you even think of that? Have you not heard 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:31.680 a word that's come out of my mouth? And I'm like, no, 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:35.280 I literally heard everything, but my mind just had it differently. 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:37.920 And so one thing's for sure, you will never have 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:40.880 a dull conversation with someone with ADHD. It will be 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:46.200 full and overflowing with things that are very interesting. Just 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:49.000 may not be in a conventional way that you expected it. 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:52.160 You might have to put the pieces together yourself. But honestly, 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:55.640 I actually love it now and ADHD mine is spontaneous 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:57.880 and creative, and it's filled with ideas and it thinks 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:00.680 outside the box. So yes, we may not be inventional, 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:04.040 but we're pretty exciting and our brain thinks a lot. 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:08.160 I remember I actually had years ago, years ago when 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:11.960 I didn't even honestly think I had ADHD or didn't 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.440 identify with it at the time. I had my brain 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:18.279 scanned by doctor Daniel Amen and I think about that 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:22.679 video somewhere online. But he told me that different areas 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:24.799 of my brain just light up at the same time, 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.679 way more than if you compared it to a neurotypical brain. 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:31.320 And that actually made me feel so understood and helped 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:34.159 me to understand myself better. And you know what, it 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:36.680 didn't bother me so much as I was growing up 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:40.440 and even up till the point i'd say that I 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:45.160 started actually doing this podcast, and it started becoming so 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.480 heightened because I had to hear myself speak, and I 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:50.880 would have guests on the podcast and so many and 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:54.240 the feedback that I was receiving, and I would find 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:57.479 it really hard to let someone finish their sentence, not 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.760 because of selfishness or wanted to hear my own voice 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:01.920 like some people in my comments kindly highlighted to me, 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:04.880 but because of excitement that, oh my gosh, I can 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:07.680 relate to this and out of impulse because I'm so 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:12.040 excited to share what's in my mind or the thing 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.080 that I've related it to in my mind. After hearing 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.840 episodes back, I totally saw how disruptive it can be 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.680 to conversations, and I really started to actively change that. 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:23.040 So I did little things like I got myself a 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.359 pen and a notepad to take notes while the guests 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.200 was speaking. And now I'm so much better in those 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:30.200 podcast episodes where I'm writing all the things that I 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.039 have to say down so I can ask them after. 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.160 But then also it's impacted my day to day life 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:38.440 and how much better I am I having normal conversations 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:41.240 with people, and it's something I really recommend. And obviously, 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.280 when you're having conversations with thermal people, you're not going 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:44.440 to get a pen and paper out. 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:45.320 But something I. 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:47.320 Really recommend is getting things out of your head by 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:49.520 doing a brain dumb At the beginning of the day, 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:50.880 our mind holds so. 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:53.120 Many thoughts for someone with our. 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.479 ADHD, and then when you do have it, your mind 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:57.240 can kind of skip from place to place to place, 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.599 and you can find it really difficult to focus, and 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.320 so to hold everything in your head it just becomes 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:03.120 really exhausting. 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:05.520 But something about me is that once I am. 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:08.000 Up, i am up, and my mind is ready to 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:10.880 go zero to one hundred. So I've just accepted that 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:13.160 and come to terms with the fact that doing my meditation, 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:14.760 maybe I do need a pen and paper next to 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:16.840 me so that I can jot down everything that's coming 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:20.599 into my mind from the things I need to buy 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.560 on my shopping list to the person that I forgot 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:25.840 to text last week, and so having it next to 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.120 me just allows all those thoughts to come out rather 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:31.000 than just sit and swirl around in my mind. And 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:32.880 then during the day, I usually use my notes app 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:34.359 on my phone and I just make sure that I 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.880 title them right. One of them is just pure chaos, 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.279 like all the random things that I think of, and 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:41.240 then I go back to it and try and organize 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.640 it into some sort of structured notes, or I'll just 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:46.279 delete the ones that were just thoughts that I no 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:49.120 longer needed to keep space for mentally and physically. The 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:53.039 second thing I really recommend, and I cannot emphasize how 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:57.719 important this is, do it now, especially if it takes 0:06:57.760 --> 0:06:58.599 less than five minutes. 0:06:58.720 --> 0:06:59.400 Make that your rule. 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:01.120 If something is going to take me less than five, 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:03.560 maybe even ten minutes, I'm going to do with the 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:05.880 moment that I think about it. One thing I've started 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:07.720 to make a conscious effort to get better at these 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:11.120 days is replying to people as they message me. I 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.360 actually full intention of responding to people when they message me. 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.040 I tell myself I'll do it when I'm not busy, 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:17.040 when I can pay attention to what I write back, 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:20.000 be more thoughtful, more eloquent, Maybe when I get into 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:21.920 bed and I have a moment to think, and to 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:24.360 be honest, it never happened, and so weeks would go by, 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.640 and then suddenly they pop into my brain at a 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.960 random moment in time that was absolutely not the right 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:31.960 time for them to pop into my mind, but they do. 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.240 And then all I'm thinking about is the fact that 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:35.960 I have to reply back to them instead of the 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:37.840 conversation I meant or the work I'm trying to do, 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:40.880 And so to prevent all of that, how about we 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:43.600 just write something back. One thing that helps is voice knowing, 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:45.960 because sometimes texting feels like you have to put so 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:50.680 much effort. Voice note bing bang done so much easier, 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:53.000 and then you can take that off your list and 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:56.080 you know that you've replied back to them. It was 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:58.560 also something that really bugs me when people would say 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:01.560 it about my personality, where they say, oh, yeah, don't worry, 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.880 you can't even expect her to respond, and I was like, wait, 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:05.440 what do you mean. I didn't even realize that I 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:07.840 was doing it, and so I started writing back in 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:09.800 the moment even if it was short, even if it 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:12.160 was snappy, and my friend started to notice, and that 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:14.600 actually felt so good to be the person that responds. 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:16.880 Now sometimes to my friends, I'm like, you know, I 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:20.360 respond faster than you do, actually, but it just showed 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:23.400 me that you can change habits if you set up 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:25.760 the right structure for yourself. A nothing I would do 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.360 is if there was a message or email that needed 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:32.200 a little bit more time or thought, I would have 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.400 a note in my phone for all the people that 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:38.240 I need to respond to, call back email bag, and 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.440 just have an ongoing list of that in one place. 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:44.760 Because sometimes I'd remember I need to respond to someone, 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:46.680 but I could not remember who it was. Then I 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.400 spend half an hour scrolling through every form of messaging 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:51.360 to see if I could remember who it was. Just 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:54.280 so not time efficient, and honestly, when it comes to task, 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:57.320 it's the same stop waiting to have time to do it, 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:00.440 especially if it takes between zero to five minutes the core, 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.720 put the clothes in the washing machine, place the Amazon order, 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:05.880 and at the time it might feel a little bit 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:08.640 weird or feel like a chore, but the feeling of 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:11.560 reward and accomplishment after is so good. You're like, yeah, 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:13.319 I did that, I thought of it and I did it. 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:17.440 What that's amazing because you actually did what needed to 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:20.520 be done, and your body and your mind will reward 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:23.240 you for that because you've completed a loop in your mind. 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:26.120 And so I think the trick to ADHD is in 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:28.960 the systems and structures that you put in to place 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:32.200 for yourself. And it only becomes a disadvantage in systems 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:34.320 that are not designed for us, not designed for us 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:37.400 amazing people to come in and disrupt their world. But 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:39.960 with the right structure, it can really become a superpower. 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:42.800 So once you have these easy systems in plates, it 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:45.360 can make things feel so much more manageable. So the 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:50.760 next thing I struggle with being an adhder is something 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:52.800 they call time blindness. 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:54.520 We have two issues with time. 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.880 We struggle to really comprehend how long things will take us. 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:03.000 We almost have this illusional, optimistic view of being able 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:06.439 to do so much within a very short period of time. 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:09.439 I do that all the time when I'm cooking for people. 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.960 I'm like, oh, this will literally take me an hour. 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:15.800 I'm still there four or five hours later, and I'm. 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:17.960 Like, I really thought I really thought it was only. 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:19.520 Going to take me an hour, and my mind really 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:22.760 does think that, and so we struggle with how long 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:25.280 things will take us, but also losing track of time 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:29.199 while doing anything, being really surprised by deadlines even when 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:29.720 you knew. 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:31.640 About them, but you really believe that you. 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:33.360 Can fit everything in, and I always feel like I 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:35.719 could do one more thing before leaving, and then. 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:36.840 I always end up being late. 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:38.800 I don't know whether any of you can relate to that, 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:41.040 but I do that every single time. It's like I'm 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.880 actually running early for something, but then I realize I'm 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.040 running so early that I could fit something else in, 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.200 and the thing I tried to fit in absolutely will 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:50.960 not fit in that time. And so you then end 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.040 up being late and feeling awful about it, cancelling last 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:56.439 minute because everything took so much longer than you expected, 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.280 and then your friends ended up thinking you just don't care, 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:02.600 or or you end up avoiding plans altogether because timing 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:06.880 just feels so stressful. It's not organization or disrespect, it's 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.080 just that time just doesn't register in the same way 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.680 for us. So useful way to handle this is doing 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:15.319 realistic alarms for yourself and setting really big buffer times. 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.000 Sometimes the people around me will give me fake times 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:21.280 to make sure that I'm ready, and I don't like it, 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:23.320 but I understand why they have to do it, but 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.840 I still don't appreciate it. So instead I send myself 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.840 a buffer so I feel like I'm in control. You 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:30.840 might have seen me sharing my journey of training for 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:33.080 High Rocks. I wanted to push myself to do something 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.360 out of my comfort zone, but also something my younger 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:37.280 self would have never expected us to achieve. 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:39.200 Running is a big part of High Rocks. 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.280 You have to run almost six miles throughout the race, 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.120 and so I have been spending a lot of my 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.080 time running. I've always loved running as a way to 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.720 find rhythm in my life, not just for performance, but 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:51.280 to create space in my mind. I found whenever my 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:54.120 mind is racing or I feel overwhelmed, moving my body, 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:56.480 especially running, helps me to get out of my head 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.520 and back into the present moment, into my body. And 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:01.760 I with the type of person who thought I'd enjoy running. 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:03.800 I used to hear my friends talk about a running 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:06.480 high where you just get into this stride. You're not 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:09.080 thinking about the movement, You're just in flow. And I 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.480 had never really felt that a huge part of that 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:13.440 is what I run in, the clothing I wear, but 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:16.240 more importantly, the shoes I'm wearing. It's so hard to 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:18.120 feel free in your mind when your body isn't feeling 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.520 comfortable or is in pain, and I found that a 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:22.840 hurdle in the past when I've tried to do long runs. 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:26.960 I started wearing Ultra running shoes. 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Next up, 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.680 we really like to start lots and lots of things together. 0:13:58.120 --> 0:13:59.840 I say, we look, you may not be feeling all 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.680 these but I'm going to do a Wii because it 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:04.840 makes me feel like we're part of this together. Okay, 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:07.600 but we get so excited and we want to start 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:09.640 all these new things phenomenal, so fun. 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:10.680 We're full of ideas. 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.760 But what I would recommend is that you really try 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:17.120 to complete one thing and then start the next. I 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.600 know it goes against every fiber of your being, but 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.160 I'm telling you it is an absolute game change and 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:25.160 actually way more efficient than starting one hundred things at 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.560 a time. I know that feels odd too, because our 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:29.960 mind tells us doing all the things at the same 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:33.000 time is more efficient, But going against that impulse is 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:36.560 important to actually get through things. So just make a 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:38.760 point of telling yourself, I do not move on from 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:42.000 this activity till I've finished it. It's like a tag 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.280 in tag out situation, not I'm going to put you 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:46.120 to the side. 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:47.760 Start this, put that to the side, and. 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:48.880 Then you might d u getting to the end of 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:50.600 the day and feel like you just haven't completed anything. 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:52.680 And so it feels so much nicer to do less 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:55.600 in a day but finish each thing as you go along. 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.320 So I mentioned structure, but I would like to emphasize 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:01.200 how important structure is when you're mine feels chaotic, which 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:04.400 usually it does for us. You need to create organization 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:07.280 externally to feel some sort of peace and calm internally. 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:08.400 Now some people. 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:11.440 Say I have organized chaos around me, and I think 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.480 I believe it, but I also don't because actually just 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:19.720 organized calm is better than organized chaos. And so to 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.200 make it all make sense in your mind, make your 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:26.360 external environment a little bit more peaceful. Alarms, schedule, adding 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:29.640 things to your calendar, having places for everything that you 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.560 need in your life, having drawers labeled. If you came 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:35.440 to my house you think there was something wrong with me. 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:40.800 I have everything labeled, every single jar, every single spice pot, 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:46.320 every single draw There is a place for everything, because 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.800 it just helps me to feel sane in my day 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:52.440 and it helps me helps me feel organized in my 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:55.640 mind when I see organization externally. But also add less 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:57.600 than more. Remember that time thing I said, don't add 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.920 too much in there. Whatever you think you could do, 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.200 buffer an extra thirty minutes either side, at least per 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:06.760 activity to see if you can get it done, and 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:08.800 then you don't feel disappointed every day then you didn't 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.360 keep up with your schedule, because that will then put 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:13.640 you off having a schedule and it will not feeling 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:16.640 too overwhelming saying, oh, well, I didn't stick to my schedule, 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:19.920 and having a schedule makes me feel really anxious because 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.040 when I don't finish it, I feel disappointed in myself, 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.640 so it can become a vicious cycle. So start off 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:28.080 by scheduling really small things in your day, tick them off, 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:29.800 and then move on to adding more and more in. 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:30.480 As time goes on. 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:33.840 Let me tell you the most underrated thing for ADHD, 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:38.960 the most underrated thing. It is free and it requires 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:40.200 no tools, no equipment. 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:40.960 You know what that is? 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:49.400 A simple breath? Yes, so underrated, actually really not given 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:53.200 the praise that it should in life. Because breath is 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:55.560 the anchor between your mind and your body. It can 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:57.960 help you to collect your thoughts and help you keep going. 0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:02.360 Breathing is so underestimated and underused superpower when it comes 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:03.640 to your mind racing. 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:05.240 And so take deep. 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:07.680 Breath during the day when you catch your mind running 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:11.399 at the speed of lightning, Just sit, take a deep breath, 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.080 collect your thoughts, and then move on to the next thing. 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.399 I find it makes such a difference to the speed 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:21.680 I speak at or my mind thinking of one hundred things. 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:24.800 It really really does make a difference. It brings instant 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:28.000 calm to your nervous system and so you don't need 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.840 fancy tools or anything. All you need to do is 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:33.080 reconnect to your breath sometimes and it can really help 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:33.959 you to focus. 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:34.280 Again. 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.080 I mentioned this earlier about cutting people off of a conversation, 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:39.639 and I think I found a really useful way to 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:42.800 stay present in a conversation. I really try to focus 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:44.920 on what the person is saying, not what I'm going 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.080 to say next. And to be able to do that, 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:49.399 you have to increase your presence in the moment. And 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:52.320 presence in the moment comes with where your focus is at. 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.000 And so to get yourself out of your mind and 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.359 back into the conversation if you notice it, you know, 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.800 going on a different tangent or getting distracted. I do 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:02.400 think is like looking at their mouth while they are speaking. 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.560 Really seeing their mouth move helps me to focus on 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:07.520 what they're saying, but also listening to the tone of 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:10.359 the voice, making eye contact. Don't be looking around while 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:13.840 they're speaking. Lock into the person. Lock into the conversation 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:16.359 allows you to be more present, allows them to feel 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:19.359 like you are actually engaging in the conversation, but also 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:22.080 allows you to really hear what they're saying, rather than 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:24.879 being distracted by our own mind. And another thing is 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:28.760 we always try to mold ourselves to other people or 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:31.240